I vow to face the truth with open arms. Today I want to talk a little bit about the Paramita of Kshanti.

[01:02]

You know the six Paramitas. Kshanti is translated sometimes as patience. And the patience, it's a little more than just the patience that the English translation of patience. There's several layers of meaning. English translation, meaning of patience, is rooted in endurance. or long-suffering. The term comes, it's associated with passion.

[02:15]

Patience is a derivative of passion, and passion has the root of suffering. So passion, compassion means to suffer with and passion is a little different than our present meaning which we associate with sexuality and We say, well, I'm very passionate about you, meaning I really suffer a lot because of my sexual drive, which is frustrating, or something like that. But we talk about the passion of Christ, which is very different, which is more true meaning of the word passion.

[03:25]

That means to suffer with, to empathize or take on suffering, others suffering. So, and passion, of course, is that suffering. So, patience is the quality of that endurance. But Kshanti has that connotation, but there are at least three levels of meaning in Buddhadharma. The first level is that level of long-suffering or endurance. And the second level is the level of the, you might say, the Hinayana attitude.

[04:39]

As you know, the Hinayana attitude toward practice is the analysis. We have all, if you, the practice of the Hinayanists is the Abhidhamma. And the Abhidharma is the practice of analysis of elements. And in the practice of analysis of elements, you reduce all existence to its elements. And then you say, well, it's only dharmas that are involved here. What do I have to do with this? Why should I have suffering? If you reduce suffering down to its elements, you see that it's just elements in combination. It's a kind of reductionist way of looking at life, which is very accurate, but at the same time there's something missing.

[05:45]

It doesn't take into account something, but as a basis for understanding ourself, it's quite accurate. So that attitude the patience that comes out of that attitude, or the kshanti that comes from that attitude, is one of saying, no need to worry about things, because everything will pass. This suffering will pass, and when the elements recombine and change into some other form. So, Have the patience to allow things to change. And don't pay so much attention to your... Don't be attached to things. So it's like patience with life.

[06:49]

In a very detached way. And my, in a way, understanding is more not to be separated from life, but to be completely one with life. So that there's no subject or object. There's nothing to wait for. No need to wait. no need to endure exactly in the first sense, but to completely accept the situation, completely be one with the situation. There's a koan from the Mumon-Kam,

[07:56]

about Daitsu Chisho Butsu, Buddha. And this Buddha, I think is maybe in the Lotus Sutra, some sutra. But this is a Buddha who was sitting zazen for 10,000 kalpas, and he didn't become Buddha. That's a little bit of a contradiction. He didn't become enlightened. He didn't become... Daizutsu Shogun Buddha sat for 10,000 kalpas in Zazen, but he didn't become Buddha. And so the monk asked the teacher, why didn't... how could it be that Daizutsu Shogun Buddha sat in Zazen for a thousand kalpas or ten thousand kalpas without becoming Buddha.

[09:04]

And the teacher said, it's obvious. He just didn't become Buddha. This koan is about the third kind of patience. It's not the patience that's waiting for something, but the patience which is completely one with... Patience of maybe no past and no future. Patience of the complete present, of existing in the complete present. no need to become Buddha because there's no future. If the future comes, fine.

[10:25]

Our Japanese teachers when they came to America were very patient with us, Americans. It's very difficult for us to understand the attitudes of our Japanese teachers. Their way of life is just so different. Our American way of life is a life of advancement and conquest and instant everything. We've speeded up our life to where we want everything right now.

[11:31]

And when Suzuki Roshi came to America, he encountered our attitudes. People were interested in Zen. But the idea they had about it was that you study a few koans and you get enlightened. And then you know something. You have some big advantage. But good teachers, the attitude of the best teachers was more like the attitude of Daitsu Chisho Buddha. Just sit for 10,000 kalpas without becoming Buddha. And

[12:36]

people that were very impatient had a very difficult time with teachers. So the main problem that teachers had with students was the problem of ego and how to deal with ego. and how to deal with desire in the realm of ego, spiritual materialism in the realm of practice. Suzuki Roshi always used to say, all of your ideas about religion are completely materialistic. And so one of his main themes was no gaining mind.

[13:52]

And no gaining mind was really hard for people to swallow. Because it seemed like he was negating enlightenment. And it seemed like He was talking about no progress. And if you studied with him, he just left you hanging out there in space by your teeth. I was talking to somebody about our practice with Japanese teachers. And this person was ordained as a student by one of the Japanese teachers.

[15:00]

But after that, the teacher pushed him out. And he didn't know what to do. And he thought that the teacher had just given up on him. He was just puzzled. Why would he do a thing like that? But then, as he wandered around, he realized that he really wanted to be a priest. He really wanted to study. But he didn't quite know what to do or how to go about it. So he kind of wandered around until he found a place where he could practice, and came to realize that this teacher that he had had planted a seed. Japanese teachers are very inscrutable.

[16:09]

Their way of looking at things is over long periods of time. Our ways of looking at things is right now, and what's next? And then what? And next year? And this month? Their way of looking at it is next lifetime. Or maybe the next lifetime after that. that kind of attitude is very hard for us to understand. And when we look at our practice in America, we judge it in terms of what's happening today and what's happening tomorrow. And today it looks like things are falling apart and tomorrow it looks like things are doing well and, you know, Those are this kind of wave on the ocean of practice, kind of like this.

[17:17]

But their view is like over this huge expanse of ocean there are a few waves. And does it matter whether American Zen survives or not? Probably not. It's wonderful if it does, but if it doesn't, there'll be another wave in the ocean. But always planting seeds with nothing else in mind. This kind of attitude is very prevalent with certain Japanese priests without looking at the result. The result, you may never see the result of your actions or what kind of seeds you plant, but just planting seeds.

[18:29]

And if you can water them, wonderful. Every time I see him, he talks about American Buddhism, it's like planting a hair on a rock. Trying to plant a hair on a rock. But that's a wonderful koan. How do you plant a hair on a rock? So this third kind of patience is a very important kind of patience to cultivate. It means that you just go about your business. If you know what your business is, you should know what your business is. And then you just go about your business because there's nothing else to do. If we have some good understanding of our practice, we say, well, I practice to get enlightenment, or I practice because it makes me feel better, or we may have all of our reasons for practice, but those reasons are very much on the surface, waves on the surface.

[20:02]

Deep reason is inexplicable. And this deep, inexplicable reason is the foundation of patience. Because, why do I practice? Because I have to. I don't know why, but just day after day, I just do what I have to do. Sometimes we get impatient. Sometimes I get impatient. My practice is that every day I sit zazen.

[21:06]

And if someone wants to sit with me, that's wonderful. If nobody comes, that's okay too. But we get used to the idea that somebody should come and sit every day. We get used to that idea. I remember somebody saying, you know, in Minnesota, where it gets 40 below zero or something, this person said, well, you know, I remember going to the Zendo and Karagiri Roshi there, sitting there in the Zendo all by himself. at Zazen time. And you can think, well, gee, you know, that's pretty bad. Nobody's coming to Zazen. But actually, it's pretty good. You know, Kadi Gilgores is there, sitting Zazen.

[22:10]

No problem. But we get I get this idea sometimes, you know, because we have a wonderful sangha that's full of really strong Zen students. But someday, you know, one day everybody could just change their mind. But if We have the kind of patience, cultivate the kind of patience, that third kind of patience. We'll have real practice, real progress in our practice. It's only when you give up all your ideas

[23:16]

progress and all your ideas of enlightenment and all your ideas of what it's about, that progress will appear, enlightenment will appear, samadhi will appear, and what it's all about will appear. So we practice with various degrees of patience and reasonings of what we're doing. until we come to that point where we just enter. everything becomes clear.

[24:20]

No need to wait for anything. And it also has to do with how we accept our life and how we accept our death with the same, exactly the same patience, chanting. If we can live our life with that complete presence in life, then we can accept our death with the same exact attitude, which is completely free of all notions

[25:45]

And when we can be that calm, have that kind of calmness, things fall right into place for us. Our life falls into place. I don't mean that we don't have problems or don't get anxious. We actually experience. all three of those levels of patience in our life, no matter who we are. But most people don't touch the third level. And our practice is, the goal of our practice is to be attain that third level. And it's not attaining something outside of yourself, but it's attaining yourself.

[27:23]

So we can practice. When we practice in the Zen Dojo, our practice is Everything we do should be on that level. Just waiting for exactly the right moment to do something or being to be self-possessed enough to allow everything to fall in place until you, just the right moment, you do the right thing. And it shows up in very small ways. If you're the Doan, you ring the bell. If you anticipate, then you lose yourself.

[28:36]

There's a certain time to ring the bell. just the right, exactly the right moment within the right rhythm of the life of the zendo. And if you're not in tune with that rhythm, then you begin to get anxious. And as soon as you begin to get anxious, you start losing your composure. Then you start guessing. instead of being truly in tune. So all the activities in the Zen Do are a way of practicing patience. As soon as you walk in the door, you start practicing this kshanti.

[29:44]

How to be completely present in each moment's activity. Not ahead, not behind. then you can accept each thing. Maybe you don't like something, but still you can accept it. You don't get thrown by things so easily. You know, if you're late, you come into the zendo late, you may feel embarrassed or feel that you should be in your seat instead of at the door.

[30:58]

This is very common. When someone comes into the zendo late and they feel they should be in their seat, but they're actually at the door. So they run over to their seat and lose their composure. because they're not accepting the fact that they're at the door. And that it takes so many steps to get to their seat. And they can't eliminate, you can't eliminate any of those steps. You may try to take bigger steps so you don't have to take so many. But you have to take all those steps. And in each step you have to be present. But if you go too fast then you lose your presence, presence of mind. or mind of presence. So everything is a test. A test in a sense of mindfulness and patience.

[31:59]

If you're embarrassed, you know, we want to efface ourself and run away. But you can't run away. You have to stay there in the presence. And the ability to accept your feeling at that time is patience. And then you have to find some way to deal with that feeling. But you can deal with it if you have that kind of presence. And this goes for all of our suffering. It's hard to accept, really hard to accept our suffering.

[33:05]

But we can accept it if we have that Patience. Do you have a question? Yeah, I have two things to say. First of all, this morning in the Zen Dojo, when you'd gotten off your seat and I clapped the clappers, I learned something. And I learned it again as we were talking, so I'm grateful for that. And the other question was, how do you see yourself as the same and or different as a Japanese priest?

[34:12]

That's a good question. because my influence is Japanese priests. And if you studied with Japanese priests, then you see a lot of reasoning. Not reasoning, but you have a certain feeling, an affinity. I remember incidents, but I think about, I was thinking about this recently, how I wanted, what my influence was to be a priest, you know, and I remember a long time ago, maybe 60, 1965 or 66, I had been practicing for a couple years, and Suzuki Roshi and Katagiri Sensei went to a Unitarian church to participate in some kind of Buddhist, Christian thing.

[35:23]

And I went with them. And they went into this dressing room. We went into this dressing room. They changed their robes. And I was fascinated watching them change their robes. And something about... there was some kind of feeling that was there with the three of us. They were changing their robes and they were kind of smiling at each other, you know, and I was kind of smiling at them. There was just this feeling exchanged of, isn't this wonderful? And I just felt very much at one with them, you know. But there wasn't anything spoken. And then another time, I was standing in a parking lot. This is a couple of years later. And there's a breeze. And the breeze was blowing my coat.

[36:26]

And I thought, I felt like I had a robe on in the breeze. And I thought, isn't this wonderful? That was just a kind of affinity I felt with my teacher, my teachers. But I never thought of being a priest before that, because nobody was priests at that time. It wasn't something that you did, that Americans did. And Japanese priests are very subtle about things, you know? One day after Sashin at Tassahara, we did the first Sashin at Tassahara with Chino Sensei and Suzuki Roshi was there, too. And right after that, he called me in and he asked me if I wanted to be ordained.

[37:33]

And I said yes. But we'd never talked about it before that. I'd never known nothing, no talking about it at all, in any way. And I said, when? And he said, well, when you're ready and when I'm ready. So he just kept me waiting for a long time. It got me kind of excited. But he wouldn't let me. And he let me suffer with my excitement for a long time. And I realized that he was watching me do that, you know, watching my ego transform and cool out. That's very much Japanese style, is to give you something to chew on, give you something, and then you go through all these trips with it.

[38:50]

And you work things out. You finally realize what a big ego you have, and what kind of expectations you have, and what it all means for you, and so forth. So in some ways, I have the same attitudes as my teacher, a lot of the same attitudes as my Japanese teachers, because that's what I learned my Buddhism from, and some of their methods. And I'm not so sure that they're good for Americans. So I have to modify what I learned with what It's here, in the same way that the Japanese teachers did too. Some of them did it more than others. Suzuki Roshi was very adaptable to Americans, and other teachers are not adaptable to Americans.

[39:56]

They are to a certain extent, but Suzuki Roshi was very unusual. Maezumi Roshi is very unusual for a Japanese priest. I mean, he's very adaptive to Americans. more so than Suzuki Roshi, actually. But no matter how adaptive Japanese teachers are to Americans, they're always Japanese, some deep down, you know, and inscrutable. That's true. You can't really figure them out in the end, completely, unless you attain something, or, not attain, but meet them on their level, you know, get right into their level of doing things.

[41:05]

Because their thinking is just different. Very different. So to make that transformation, I think you have to understand something about Japanese priests. I mean, in your guts. And then do some transformation. But if you just do it superficially, you know, it looks like, oh, well, we can just, what do we need this for? What do we need that for? You know, why do we have to do these fun things? We can just do what we want. Well, you can, But there's something in depth that goes with where they're coming from that's not so easy to understand, not so easy to sort out. We want to sort out the Zen from the culture.

[42:12]

This is what a lot of... I think it's happening in America a lot. You know, we want to sort out the Zen. What's the Zen and what's the culture? But it's like dismembering the baby. You know, dissecting. And you can do it, but it takes a long time. Because practice and culture go together. They grow up together. And it's like weeds and flowers. When you have a flower bed with lots of weeds in it, the weeds are actually holding up the flowers. And if you take the weeds away, the flowers will all fall over. So, in order... So you put these stakes in the ground, tie the flowers to the stakes and they stand up. something very bare and funny about it, you know, it's not full.

[43:17]

We can weed, which we have to do, but we have to be very careful. Most people have problems with oriental styles. I won't say Japanese, Japanese, Chinese, any kind of oriental style Americans have problems with. But you have to be willing to accept those problems. I myself, because I felt a wonderful affinity with my teachers, it was easy for me to go along with their styles. And it's also easy for me to go along with American styles, because I'm American.

[44:28]

So I happen to have an adaptive, flexible personality, maybe. But some of us really want things to be certain ways. And I do too. I have a lot of respect and strong feeling about why the practice is the way it is. And so I hold on a lot to some of these forms, Japanese Oriental forms. because they help to convey the teaching. If they're just forms, if they're just empty forms, then we should not use them.

[45:30]

But because within the form you learn the teaching, it's very valuable. And you'll find that when you get rid of the forms, you just have to reinvent other forms. in order to convey the teaching, because what you're dealing with is emptiness. And in order to understand emptiness, you have to understand it through form. And when you understand emptiness through the forms of the practice, You can apply it to all forms, any form. Then you can have a formless practice. No special form. All forms are the form of practice. But you can't just go out and do that.

[46:32]

You have to have some training. So the forms of practice are the forms that help us train. they're there to be useful, not to be staying in our way. But anyway, as Meili said, She got a letter from somebody in Minneapolis and it said, Thich Nhat Hanh wrote it. What do you think? It was a very strong paragraph about Zen in the West really has not made any kind of progress in integrating itself, that we are just looking backwards and using

[47:44]

I thought you said it a different way yesterday. I'll bring a letter and I'll post it. It's too bad to... Yesterday it sounded like America doesn't really have its own forms yet. That sounds better to me. I'll bring a paragraph. I'm not going to help you. But it's a strong paragraph. Yeah, that's true. And little by little we work out our own way. you know, with his great patience. Big, big patience. If we don't have great respect for where our teaching comes from, And the forms, the true forms of that teaching, we won't have anything.

[48:50]

Even though real Zen comes out from our own roots, right from under our feet. We think we can do something all by ourselves, but we really need a lot of help. from 25 centuries, to ignore 25 centuries of people's effort, sincere effort, and think we can just go ahead and do something ourself without their help, is a big mistake. Big ego. We're just like little kids, you know, babies.

[49:55]

And babies reject authority, you know. It's wonderful for me to have a little kid and see the little kid's world and how it relates to authority and so forth. And right and wrong and this and that. It's a good education. It's just like this. We're just the same people as those little kids. We're not really any different, all of us. We have the same impatience and desires and ways of doing things. It's just more pronounced. They just don't have as much... Also, it's well to remember that Buddhism, Christianity, and the other great religions, when they were new, were throwing out centuries of previous traditions.

[51:10]

And I'm sure they had the same impatience. And I'm not sure if they did such a good job in doing that. I think they did and they didn't. So, you know, we have to be able to see all sides. I think that's really important, to have a real big view. Because if we see too much, then we get stuck. That's also a problem. Sometimes the person who doesn't have much patience, doesn't see anything, just goes right ahead because there's nothing holding him back. So that can also be quite good. If you see too much, you get stuck because you can't move.

[52:13]

You know, everything looks equal. But on the other hand, I think we should have a big view and move It's... The way to move will present itself. If we have real patience, you'll see the openings. And the way will open up. That's my feeling. But the way opening up depends on our effort That's like the Dharmadhatu meeting us, our effort, matching our effort. It's like a matching fund.

[53:15]

We have that much effort and we have that much response.

[53:22]

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