Strictly speaking, this Sashin schedule that we have is not too difficult. Usually we design the schedule keeping in mind whether people have had a lot of experience or are new. So we look at who is sitting and make a schedule that is not too difficult for the new people and not too easy for the old people and find something that everyone can feel satisfied with. it's never perfect.

[01:02]

So our schedule may seem very difficult, almost impossible for somebody, and for someone else may seem too easy. But if schedule is too difficult, for you, that may be very good. We need to have some way to, some challenge to bring out our spirit. And if it's too easy, then maybe you should try sitting in full lotus. There's always a way. Actually, I'm serious.

[02:13]

Some version, something more, something maybe not full lotus, but to take a more extreme posture if it's too easy. That's a good way of challenging yourself into helping yourself to focus and be more present. I actually don't recommend that you all try to sit in full lotus. but I did it for about 20 years. And I sit in half lotus now. Because I went to, I danced at somebody's wedding, then I played volleyball. And at my age, it's not so good for your knees to do those strenuous activities.

[03:18]

So... A few vigorous wedding dances and a couple of volleyball games kind of put my knee out of commission. So I only sit with one leg up instead of both. But sitting in full lotus is a very wonderful way to sit. If you do that, you should learn gradually, little by little. But the purpose of sasheen is to bring out your spirit completely. Sometimes when someone says their first sasheen, they say, it's the most difficult thing I ever did. That means they really sat sasheen. They really came up to the challenge of sasheen. If you don't have that challenge, or if you sit through Sesshin and it's very easy, either you're very advanced or you're not completely engaged.

[04:42]

Sesshin is not easy. but it's very rewarding. When it's rewarding, it's because you're completely, totally, wholeheartedly involved. When we do something difficult, if you climb a mountain, and it takes all of your effort, all of your strength, and it's just one foot in front of the other, And you don't know how you're going to make it to the top. But when you make it to the top, you forget all about how difficult it was. Or the difficulty makes it wonderful. So in Sashin, when you get to the point of just this breath, just this breath, can I continue?

[06:13]

And you kind of mull it over in your mind. Can I really keep going? Shall I? Will I? But at the same time that your mind is mulling all this over, your body is actually sitting. Ten minutes have passed, body's actually sitting, even though you're trying to decide what to do. Body's still sitting. Breath is still going. And you realize that if you just take one breath at a time, you're just living in this present moment. There's only this present moment. One breath at a time. One moment at a time. But the moment is not a new moment.

[07:15]

It's just one continuous moment of now. that one continuous moment of now is called samadhi. One continuous eternal moment called right now. When there's no person, So we have various difficulties in seishin.

[08:23]

One is that our legs hurt, or our back hurts, or we get bored, or our mind stops working on something entertaining, and we feel lost. That's called boredom. Mind stops, has nothing to grasp, nothing to entertain it. And so we come to a loss, a standstill, and we feel lost. But this is a very good time for us. No thought, no mental toys or entertainment. And if you just let the mind alone, not try to create something new, then you can be fully awake.

[09:36]

So while we're sitting, our legs are hurting, maybe our back. our mind is either working frantically, trying to figure some way out, or trying to escape, or we're at a loss just as to what to do, just boredom. And the pain becomes so difficult that we can only take one breath at a time. But the bell rings, and we do kin-hin, and even though we say, but I'll never do this again, when the bell rings, we get back on our seat, cross our legs,

[10:54]

and start again, over and over. Crazy activity. This is the middle day, fourth day of Sashin. So today, I would like to encourage us all to renew our effort. Make some decision to really sit still The secret of this activity is to really be very still, to come to complete stillness.

[12:05]

And this stillness depends on our decision. We have to realize who is the leader. The leader is not our feelings, or our emotions, or our thoughts, but our decision. So, maintaining our actions through our decision is really a matter of life and death. Sachine has that quality. We say, I am going to do this.

[13:21]

So that's a decision. When I sit down, I'm going to sit and not move. That's the decision. But feelings come up and say, oh, this is a lot of pain, or I would rather be doing something else, or maybe this is the wrong thing. Or, how did I get into this? Something. Some kind of feeling or emotion or thought will try to move us. It's just like Shakyamuni Buddha, when he sat under the bow tree on his night of enlightenment.

[14:25]

All the little demons came to tempt him to move. But I just sat still because he said, I am going to sit here until I have realization. And I'm not going to let anything move me. This is our practice. Sesshin is exactly like Shakyamuni Buddha sitting under the bow tree. Nothing can move me until I have realization. So thoughts, feelings,

[15:29]

emotions, demons, entertainment, all kinds of tempting things will try to drag us off. But our decision keeps us in place. Don't let anything move you. This is a spirit of Saji. If you have a real spirit of Sashin, you can say, I'm going to sit here if it kills me. So it means that when you come to the end of your rope, when you come to a solid blank wall, you have to go through the wall.

[17:30]

Sometimes we get up to the wall and then we take the path of least resistance This is usual. But what we're doing is not trying to amuse ourselves in some way, or we're not trying to be masochistic. But until you get to the point of the wall, the wall is the wall of non-duality. The Dharma door of non-duality is that wall.

[18:34]

As long as we're thinking good and bad, like and dislike, We're just falling into duality. To enter the Dharma door of non-duality is to give up like and dislike, good and bad, and just be with what is from moment to moment. Difficult to enter that door. But in order to do it, we have to be completely open. The door is just ourself. The wall is just our own mind. To enter the door of our non-dual self,

[19:46]

pure mind. Just let it be. So, effort is the key, but effort has two sides. If you push too hard, then you're overdoing And if you don't push hard enough, you can't do anything. So if you're too tense, wanting something too much, your effort should be to back off a little bit. And if you're not putting yourself completely wholeheartedly on the line, then you need some encouragement.

[20:57]

You need to encourage yourself. You may say, but will I hurt myself? Maybe I'll hurt myself if I have too much pain. Isn't pain a kind of warning about our body? Ordinarily, that's so. Ordinarily, When we have pain, it means that there's some blockage to our freedom. But in Zazen, pain is not a block to our freedom, but rather the door to our freedom.

[22:05]

We have to go through the door of pain to find our freedom. Our usual life, we're always trying to be comfortable. If you think about it, human beings are always trying to be comfortable. We surround ourselves with cushions and sofas and beds and convenient appliances in order to be comfortable. And as soon as we start feeling uncomfortable, we change our position in order to be comfortable. So we're always moving around our position, trying to find a comfortable position. So we're always changing around our equipment. looking for a comfortable way.

[23:12]

But in Sushin or in Zazen, we don't look for the comfort from outside. Zazen is called the comfortable way. Dogen calls Zazen the comfortable way. But the comfort has to come from inside. without moving around. How do you find true comfort? How can you be really comfortable? When you have a tornado, you have to stand in the middle. As long as you're in the eye of the storm, it's very calm. So, in Seshin, you have to find the eye of the storm.

[24:20]

Then you can be very comfortable. But we get caught up in the storm. We really get caught up. in the periphery. So if you don't move, it means you have to find the way. You're forced to find the way. If you escape, you just get caught up in the storm. And then you have a terrible time. So the painful way is actually the doorway. It forces you to find the real way. You have to find your way through.

[25:30]

Be very still. When sitting, be very, very still. And be very open. And you'll go through many difficult times. But don't let that stop you. You have to have very strong determination. If you can find that true, calm place, no matter what happens, you won't be thrown by it. You won't be pulled around by anything.

[26:36]

if you can find that true, calm place, nothing can touch you. So please, let's arouse that determination. I'm not really admonishing, I'm just encouraging because I think we're actually sitting very well. But I do want to remind us of what we're doing. This practice is called shikantaza sometimes.

[27:58]

Shikantaza means just doing. We don't do something for something else. If you think, well, I'm going to sit and maybe I'll get enlightened, that's doing something for something else. Just do the work. Don't think about results. Results, thinking about results is just a hindrance. So in this Sashin, there's just this. When eating, just eat. When sitting, just sit.

[29:01]

When walking, just walk. Sometimes we have to take care of business. At that time, just take care of business. Dogen, when he set up his monastery in Japan, started the day at seven o'clock in the evening, because the day started with Zazen. The day started with evening Zazen, and sleeping was the next activity. just continuous activity, continuous zazen.

[30:06]

So during this sashin, just continuous zazen, you can say going to sleep is the beginning of the day. So that's why we say don't read or do something outside of this activity. Just be completely immersed. So we have little more than

[30:54]

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