Today, we're going to discuss any questions you have about Zazen. This is not Zazen instruction for beginners, as we have on Saturday morning. Although if you're a beginner and you haven't done Zazen instruction, it's OK to be here. But basically, this session is for simply refreshing our memory about what we're supposed to be doing in Zazen and dealing with any questions you might have. So, think about it and let me know if you have one. Paul? About whether, OK, I know we're supposed to have our eyes partially open, but I have a strong kind of desire sometimes to allow my eyes to close

[01:09]

because there's a sensation that I tend to associate with Zazen, which can be strong and it's pleasant and it's stronger when my eyes are closed. And I have to sort of struggle to keep my eyes open. And that sensation is less if I open my eyes sometimes. So, should I go ahead and open my eyes anyway? Yeah. You know, no matter how much you struggle, you can't keep your eyes open. So keeping your eyes open is a attitude. It's not necessarily a rule. You can only do what you can do. So I'm confused by that. I think I can't keep my eyes open. Because we're not trying to create pleasant or unpleasant situations.

[02:17]

The reason why we keep our eyes open is so that we have, well, even though it's easy to dream with our eyes open, it's easier to dream with our eyes closed. So, eyes open means that we're not disconnecting. We're not disconnecting into dreamland or falling asleep. If your eyes are closed, it's easier to fall asleep. So, in Zazen, Zazen is moment by moment waking up. That's what Zazen is. Essentially, moment by moment waking up. So, the mind, or consciousness, creates a dream state.

[03:20]

Most of the time, we're dreaming about something. We call it thinking, often. But we dream, and then we act out of our dream. So, Zazen is the dream of Zazen. But the dream of Zazen is to keep waking up. So, waking up is to where we're just here doing this. We're just here doing that. This. Just this. So, thinking is something extra. Dreaming is something extra. And dreaming clouds our essential luminosity. So, you know, we dream, and then we wake up.

[04:27]

And then we dream, and then we wake up. We do this about maybe a thousand times during 40 minutes of Zazen. Sometimes, you know, we make this effort to stay awake, to stay alert, to stay present. But our mind, it carries off. Our consciousness is continually being carried off. So, when we realize that, even if we're having a good dream, we should just let go and come back. Just dream, let go, come back. And so, keeping our eyes open is easier. But I must say, it's really hard to always keep your eyes open. So, one, I think, you know, we say, it's a rule to say,

[05:29]

just keep your eyes open a little bit. You know, just enough. But when we do that, it's easy to just keep them closed. So, for many years, when I was sitting, I would keep my eyes wide open. Kind of like... Because that way, I was really conscious of keeping my eyes open, and it induced the energy to keep your eyes open. So, you know, there's a balance between letting go and effort. And in Zazen, we're always making an effort. We're trying to keep our eyes... or to let go of the tenseness in our body, in our mind. And at the same time, to be fully and totally energetically present.

[06:38]

So, that's the balance to maintain. Maintaining that balance between effort and... I don't want to call it relaxation, because as soon as I say relaxation, people think, Oh! But I would say ease. Effort and ease. So that although there's total effort in Zazen, there's also a total ease. So that the posture, although it looks like we're holding some unusual posture, is actually full of ease. So, the structure is... It's like a building, you know.

[07:40]

A building has a structure that holds it together. And that structure is very strong. So the structure of Zazen is very strong. But the feeling is very easy. So that you have perfect flexibility in Zazen. Even though we have this formal pose, it's all totally flexible. And when I go around and adjust posture, people are frozen. They're like boards. And resistance. Resistance. So, we should let go of resistance, and let go of the struggle to maintain our posture through muscular tension.

[08:46]

It's simply all balance. It's all about balance. There is some muscular tension, but it's only at the base of your spine. It's as small as your back. So we push our back forward. Because our spine goes like this. It doesn't go like that, except in some of us. For some of us, our spine is like this. For some of us, our spine is like this. That's true. Scoliosis and so forth. But a normal spine has a curve at the small of the back. So we emphasize that curve because that's what keeps us up at. And then there's no effort. You simply lift up, and keep your head on the top of your spine. And balance. So it's total dynamic functioning.

[09:47]

But it's full of ease. When you know how to use the least amount of effort to do the most amount of work. It's called conservation of energy. You should think about conservation of energy when you're sitting in a classroom. You do the least amount of work to do the most amount of result. And that's what you should be looking for all the time. It's obvious. Although we're sitting like this, this is the center of our body. And from the center up is one part. And from the center down is the other part. So your legs are like the roots of a tree. And the upper part is the trunk. And the branches and leaves.

[10:50]

So a tree looks like it's very stiff. But when the wind blows, the tree falls. The tree has no stiffness. Total flexibility. Because this is the center. And this is where the effort is. In front, it's called the heart. Which is also called the Sea of King. This is the central point of balance. In the back, it's where the effort is. So the front is like a balloon. Flexibility. You have this flexibility in this kind of balloon.

[11:52]

And in the back, you have the effort. It's small in the back. The rest is just, you put your hands in the mudra, keep your head on top of your spine, and you continuously find your balance. Because your posture is always falling out of balance with everything else. So you're continually adjusting, micromanaging your posture. So that you're always sitting up straight and finding your balance. And when your head leans forward, which most people adjust in the back, which is the heart, your head should be, you should feel like there's a string from the top of your head to the ceiling. And your body is just falling, held by that string. That's the way to find your posture.

[12:56]

Sometimes people, when they hold their mudra, there's a circle, feeling, with their thumbs barely touching and facing each other. And up against your abdomen. But there's no tenseness in it. When you find your thumb going like this, then you know that there's a lot of tension in your body. So this mudra, cosmic mudra, is a barometer. That's why when we adjust people's posture, we make sure that they're holding the mudra correctly. Because the mudra tells you, informs you, about the tenseness or relaxation of your body. And when it's tense, you know there's something,

[14:06]

there's tenseness in your body. So you let go. And whenever you feel tenseness, you let go. So you're continuously letting go. And the more you can just let go, and readjust, the easier it is to sit like that. Then it's easier to accept whatever's happening in your body, or your mind, or your state, mental state, emotional state, and so forth. It simply empties. This is called emptying out. So, when we keep our eyes open, this is the main subject, when we keep our eyes open, it's easier to stay awake. So...

[15:12]

How much effort in the small of your back, you said, makes... But how much? About a hundred percent. We have a small disagreement here. Well... Even a hundred percent. A hundred percent means that you're totally there a hundred percent. And... It's like... if you have a stringed instrument, and then you turn the key, and it tightens the string, or loosens the string. This is exactly what it is. So, you have to find the place where it's in tune. You have to find the place where your vertebrae is in tune with the whole of your body. That's called a hundred percent.

[16:15]

I get confused when I think about sort of being with what's so, and... Being? With what's so, you know, and trying to sort of you know, look for ease in my body. Like, sometimes that doesn't feel, you know, like looking for ease sort of feels a little bit goal-oriented, or like I'm trying to change the way that I feel, or am, or experience myself. I don't think so. I mean, I don't see anything wrong with that. Goal-oriented? We do have a way of doing some things. I don't know if I'd call it goal-oriented. I mean, but if I'm sitting, and I feel like I'm not at ease, or I'm tense, or something, or resistant, you know, then I feel like I'm trying to change that instead of just being with how that is. If you want to feel that way, go ahead. Not me. I don't want to feel that way. I don't really want to feel that way either, but I sort of feel like I want to

[17:21]

be awake to how I am, you know. Yes. You're awake to how you are, and then you're awake to how to empty out. So, you know, there's a way to synthesize them, and to synthesize them with ease. So how do I synthesize them with ease than any other way? And I don't see anything wrong with that. That's the way that all the ancestors have stepped out to. So, of course, during Zazen, we have problems, right? We have problems of discomfort, and so forth, you know. So, you make the effort to stay with ease, but even though you do that, there are intrusions,

[18:22]

so to speak. So you simply accept the intrusions. That's Zazen. These legs hurt, so you accept it. You don't try to get rid of it, but you accept it. But at the same time, you have an intention of how to sit with ease. Why not sit with ease, if you can do that? So, sitting with ease means accepting the pain of it, accepting the difficulty, accepting, you know, whatever's there. That's also sitting with ease. So, and that's as much of a goal as sitting with ease. So you see, I believe. And what causes the body to shake during Zazen? Well, some people have this tendency to shake.

[19:25]

During the fifties, I remember, there was a contagion. There were some people called shakers. They'd shake, and then somebody else would start shaking, and then somebody else would start shaking. I think, my theory is, that an action has a reaction. If you go that left, there's a reaction on the right. And then there's a reaction on the left. And so, it sets up a motion. And the motion is a vibration. And then the vibration takes the form of shaking. So, part of it could be, I want to do this, but I really don't. Or, I'm glad I'm here, but I wish I wasn't. Something like that. So, I think a part of it is

[20:27]

kind of an internal disagreement. I haven't seen that happen very much in the last 30 years. So, but it does happen. So, but that's the way I think about it. But it could be other things, I don't know. So, I remember Suzuki Roshi would say, well, just go ahead and sit that way, and then see what happens. Could you talk a little bit about kin-hin, the slow kind that we do in the Zendo, how far to move, and putting foot down, and blah, blah, blah. Well, it's something about blah, blah, blah, I don't know. That could be worth something, sure. What kind of kin-hin do you do?

[21:29]

Well, some people move faster than others. Some people pick up their foot and pull it in the air and move really, really slow. And then some people kind of shuffle, and just, you know. Yeah. Well, kin-hin is walking zazen. But it's very slow moving, so that you don't have the perception of movement. But it's kind of like a snail, you know. You see a snail over here, and then five minutes later, the snail's over here, but you didn't see it move. So, in kin-hin, you have your hands in chashu, right? Like this. And then, you take a half step. And when you lift your foot, you lift your foot in sync with your breath. So when you inhale, the foot comes up. So when you exhale, your foot comes down. And then, you should leave some space

[22:30]

between you and the person in front. Some people are unconscious of the people around them, but you should always be conscious of the people ahead of you and behind you. That's harder. But at least ahead of you. So that there's, you know, you're not piling up. Right? So, you take one breath, or if there are a lot of people that are walking, you know, slowly, then maybe take two or three breaths before you lift your foot. You lift your foot, and you put down. I think it's best to lift your foot just a little bit. Just enough so it almost feels like you're shuffling. And then, the next one, and the next one. So it's really a kind of moving zazen. Yes. Very slow. Now, OK? It looks like

[23:30]

it's time to end. Is that right? OK. Well, thank you very much. We have to collect the cups. While we're collecting the cups, somebody can ask a question if they want. Hoisu Roshi suggested once that one should put one's body and mind in the mudra. I was wondering what you think of that. Oh, put your mind in the mudra. Body, mind. Yeah, yeah. Keep the mind in the left hand. That was a... That was a... Well, it means simply that this is the focal point. The mudra is down here by the heart. Mind. The mudra is down here by the heart. And the heart is the center of your body.

[24:32]

So the center of your body is where you should keep your attention. That's the... the focal point. The main focal point. So, if you say keep your hand, mind in the left hand, that means keep your mind focused on the center of your body. Basically, this is where your breath comes and goes. And if you think of the heart or your center as the sun, as the solar places, then all of the body parts are the satellites. So it's a cosmic entity. Actually, it is. So, when we keep our attention here

[25:35]

on our solar places, solar means sun, which means light, then this is the source of light. So we're continuously exhausting, expressing this light.

[25:48]

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