The Self Settling the Self on the Self

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Good morning. I'll do my own introduction. My name is Teke, or Rahul. And this is Saturday morning. And beautiful first, looks like a first winter bright sunny winter morning on a Saturday, it's cold, very crisp. Did you, are you looking for something? I was looking, I was looking, I was communicating with John about your sound level. Okay, is it good? Yeah, I think, isn't it? Yes, not too loud. So this is a one-day sitting that we're having here.

[01:01]

And it's also the Saturday lecture. And it's also the closing for the Aspects of Practice period that we've had for the last six weeks, more or less. And the Aspects of Practice is held yearly in the fall and is led by Ho Sun, the vice abbot. the senior students and the Dharma teachers here at Berkeley Sense Center. So during these aspects of practice, those people who are the regular sitters of our schedule, as well as others who join us, we come together to practice, as we always do, but also to study a Dharma text about practice. and we focus on the Dharma and also we focus on Sangha and our relationships. And in general the Sangha is brought together by our love for Sojin and Buddhist practice.

[02:11]

And in aspects, Sojin is not there. So we cultivate our loving kindness for one another, the new and old students, and study together collaboratively and cooperatively, which is something that's not always easy for groups to do in the absence of the founding teacher. Usually what happens to groups in the absence of the founding teacher is that what kept the group together was the love for the teacher. When the teacher is not there anymore, then some of the hate emerges, or rivalry and competition and whatnot. That's not unusual in human beings and groups, group dynamics. So this aspects of practice is a way for all of us to to do something different with that, to be able to practice together and cultivate loving-kindness with each other.

[03:20]

So I think that that's something that we did actually, these aspects of practice. And I think we all experienced that in the class that we had together. Different people took turns presenting aspects of the Dogon's text. the class participants participated and we all discussed the Dharma together. And it seemed like it was a very good feeling. So it bodes well for our future. And I also want to thank Osan for making that possible. So, like I said, it's part of our practice period. We have a class and we study together. This year we studied Dogon's Bendowa, which is a great book called The Wholehearted Way.

[04:26]

If you don't have it or you haven't read it, I highly recommend it. And it's the translation of Dogon's Bendowa with commentary by Kosho Uchiyama. And the commentary is great. It's almost as good as the original text and in some places is better in the sense that not that there's anything better than Dogen. Dogen is unsurpassed, although he's got some idiosyncrasies here and there that we could do without perhaps. Uchiyama's text doesn't have some of those idiosyncrasies, has some of his own, but they're actually, I think, have a contemporary feeling to them. Because Dogen's text is from the Middle Ages, so it's the culture, the religion of the Middle Ages, which is our form of Soto-sen,

[05:30]

And Sodin says, we're still in the Middle Ages. You think you're in the modern world, but actually, we're still in the Middle Ages. Although we wouldn't like to think so. So in this text is actually the second text that Dogen wrote. If I'm not mistaken, the first one was the Phukan Sasenji. which is actually the instructions of how to sit Zazen. And Bendowa has two aspects. One is the reasons why Zazen is the main gate for Soto-sen, which seems like kind of an obvious thing to state, but when you look at the history of Buddhism and both the amplitude of Buddhism in the present at any one time, you can see that it's not at all clear that Zazen is the main gate for practice.

[06:42]

We have our brothers and sisters here in the Thai temple who have very wholehearted Buddhist practice, but they don't say Zazen. So there, here's a little bit of Dogen fundamentalist in the sense of saying the fundamental of Buddhism is Zazen and Zazen only kind of thing. And so this text is why he thinks that's the case. And this is done in dialogue with a student, Ejo. So it's part of Dogen beginning to teach the Dharma. And not just teach the instructions for how to do Zazen. So there's the how we do it, and then there's the why. Or the what. Or what does Zazen point to. So Zazen, as we know, is the foundation of our practice.

[07:52]

And then we offer the benefits and the merits of Zazen to everyone. And we do that via service, chanting, work practice in the temple, study of the Dharma, our Dharma relationships, you know the different officers of the temple, different teacher-student relationship, peer Dharma relationships, those are all relationships of practice within the Sangha, within the temple. And then we also offer it to, and we offer the merit and transfer actually the merit through work and study and social relationships in the larger society and the world at large. So Sazen is the foundation and from there it ripples out towards the other activities of temple practice and from the other activities of temple practice then it ripples out into the larger world and society and throughout the universe.

[09:05]

All the way the infinite distance is right here. In Zazen we are in communion with the entirety of the universe. There's no space or time in Zazen. Other forms of Buddhism also, as we know, do chanting practice. or study the sutras, and have different forms of meditation and prayer. You know, there's, our asanas and our meditation is a theamless meditation, or a theamless awareness, or think not thinking, or focusing our attention on the breath. and the other forms of meditation include focusing on on different mantras or the Tibetans focus meditate on images of deities and buddhas and bodhisattvas there's also people who meditate on sound and not necessarily music there's music and then there's sound so as we know there's a whole

[10:32]

people when people think about meditation they mean many different things uh including in the west meditation means thinking cartesian meditations uh we develop the the the double axis of science so that's a different kind of meditation um so this is Meditation is thinking, non-thinking. Not quite thinking, but not entirely without thinking. Because as Uchiyama Roshi says, if you try to fight your thoughts in Zazen, we all know we're not supposed to do that, then you fall asleep. Because thinking also activates mind or the brain. So for us this meditation, so Dogen is trying to define specifically what Zazen meditation means for us as the main practice that we do.

[11:47]

And when we do this form of Zazen then we experience the unity of body and mind. the unity of brain and body and the unity of the mind and the brain there's a lot of talk now about the brain it's very popular now in the larger culture and in Zazen the sympathetic and the parasympathetic aspects of the nervous system or of the brain are in unity so the brain is in unity with itself and in unity with the body. The parasympathetic nervous system controls breathing and has a calming effect. And the sympathetic nervous system controls thinking and has an activating effect. So, when the two are in balance, then we have think-non-thinking.

[12:56]

So the mind is in intention beyond thinking. So we can have an intention that is not based on thinking. Because usually intention or intentionality refers to thinking about others, objects, so on and so forth. Whereas this kind of intention is an intention that's beyond thinking. or beyond words even. Can we have an intention without words? What is that? So that's the kind of intention we have in Zazen to sit upright and to focus on our posture. And the muscles of the legs are in extension. So the mind is in intention are in extension and at the same time the muscles of the back and the neck are relaxed rather than stiff.

[14:08]

So some muscles are extending and some muscles are relaxed. We don't have a stiff neck. That's a section in the Torah. The stiff, stiff neck people It's God chastising the Jews. You stiff neck people. So we try not to have a stiff neck, you know. We stretch our neck and put a stick our neck out to get chopped off. So you have to be willing to be headless. So in some of them, we're kind of headless. And if we stick out, our head gets chopped off.

[15:12]

The teacher will chop your head off. And then it goes back again. I've experienced that personally with a sojourn. but it's all part of practice. So all this activity together I'm talking about is the practice of upright sitting. And Dogon says upright sitting in Jiju-ju-samayi, which for Dogon is the true path of realization. So zazen is practice, enlightenment, and so this samadhi practice, cultivation of samadhi, is this manifestation of practice, enlightenment.

[16:15]

So, forget whether it's Dogen's text or whether it's Uchiyama, who says, samadhi practice, what does that mean? So Samadhi practice means that we settle the self on the self. We settle the self on the self. Or the self settles the self on the self. So that's one of those hermetic kind of statements that repeats the same. Is that one or three? Or one and three or three and one? It's a kind of trinity. So I like to call that Shakyamuni realizing Buddha within you. So are Buddha and Shakyamuni one or two?

[17:21]

Shakyamuni is one Buddha, but there are many Buddhas. And then there's you. And we could say that this is the fulfillment of Shakyamuni's statement that when he became enlightened, the entire universe was enlightened. We spent some time discussing that in our class. So Shakyamuni is always in the process of being enlightened with all beings. It's not something that happened back then. It's something that's happening right now and that will continue to happen in the endless infinite future. And all of that in the past, in the present, in the future is happening right now. The present is now, the past is now, the future is now.

[18:28]

and the now is in the past, in the present, and in the future. So, another way of saying Samadhi is the, or luminous Samadhi, is the gate of repose and bliss, in which energy is very concentrated. we're very concentrated on posture and maintaining a posture and that concentrates our energy just like the sun, you know, the sun is a condensation of energy all the molecules are tightly together so luminous samadhi and at the same time our awareness is free to respond to diversity and variety, the one and the many.

[19:31]

So our awareness is free. It's not conditioned by fixated on any one thing. Even though we focus on the breath, the breathing doesn't interfere with our awareness. And awareness doesn't interfere with our breathing. So this breathing is the kind of activity of all things, all the wind and air that is circulating, that dominates in Bindo, which represents universal activity. So, he says that the whole activity of the universe is carrying out Buddha's work. And he says there's no secular world in Buddha's world. Or the secular world is also Buddha's world. So we don't have the split between the secular and the sacred in our school or in Buddhism. Or maybe in particular, in Dogen's teaching.

[20:37]

So everybody receives the benefit of universal activity. Everybody receives the benefit of all the activity of the universe. And everybody receives the benefit of Buddhist activity. So everybody receives the benefit of the practice that we're doing here. That's why we're not doing this activity just for ourself. And if we're doing this activity just for our small self, it's not possible to sustain. You won't be able to sustain it. We won't be able to sit Sachine if we're doing this Zazen practice just for ourselves. The only way to be able to get through it is to offer it up. So he says the wind and water or the universal activity that is moving and circulating does so in perfect stillness.

[21:43]

It's like listening to the sound of a freeway at a distance. Is it moving or is it not moving? Or even listening to walking across a noisy city intersection. Is it noisy or is it quiet? Is it moving or is it not moving? So he says that this stillness of all the activity is imperceptible and unfabricated. Those are the words he uses. So Bendoa is kind of, it's Dogon, has Dogon's signature and it's a little bit more accessible than some of the rest of the Shubhaginsa, but he gets quite deep in it as well. So this stillness of all the motion and commotion in the universe is imperceptible and unfabricated.

[23:00]

And therefore, he says, in the stillness of Zazen, we don't perceive the manifold unfabricated activities. There's no perception of that. We perceive the stillness, but we don't perceive the unfabricated activity. So therefore, we don't perceive how it has the effects that the practice has. and that's the principle that lies behind this question of what Shakyamuni meant when he said that when he became enlightened the whole universe became enlightened or all beings became enlightened so even though there's stillness there's great activity in that stillness and all of our life is folded into zazen and then As we move out into the world, all of our life is unfolded out of this stillness of zazen.

[24:05]

And that's the foundation of our life. And from that place, then every day is a good day. And every activity is Buddha's activity. No problem, even though there is a problem. So when we have those impasses, those problems that seem to be unresolvable, there are many problems like that in the human world, things that seem totally intractable. That's just like when you're in that moment in Sachine where it's impossible. How do you get through this? and yet somehow proceeds the way opens the way does open you just have to have the intention to conceive of the inconceivable and then the inconceivable will manifest

[25:22]

But not as we think or as we expect. It never happens according to the way we think or we expect. When we want people to change, they don't change the way we would like them to change. They change of their own accord. And the only way to get somebody else to change is to change yourself. And then when you change yourself, then imperceptibly, the other person responds. So there are all these questions in this text, right? So we studied some of these questions in the class and then I'm going to focus on question three he says the unexcelled so the question is something yeah it's pretty much this the unexcelled method of the Tathagatas is beyond common sense okay this is the person asking a question from Dogen I don't know if it's Ejo we also don't know whether he constructed these questions himself

[26:54]

That's a rhetorical device that people use to unfold something. You create a dialogue between two people, and then one person raises all the objections, and then you respond to the objections that a reader might have. If you're trying to present something, you anticipate that a reader may have this or that objection, some may have this or that question, and so you go ahead and write in that way, anticipating that so the reader has the benefit of the dialogue and so Dogen may have been doing that or it may have been that Ejo was asking some of these questions but sounds like Ejo wouldn't be asking some of these questions because some of these questions don't sound like coming from a student of Dogen maybe it's the general public I don't know so he says to ordinary people reading the sutra and saying the Nembutsu chanting buddhist names are the natural means to enlightenment because it's beyond common sense so it's beyond common sense how can you uh how can you sense the incomprehensible right if you get some solid sense like when you read the koans and stuff you know

[28:18]

then try to comprehend a koan so to comprehend a koan we have to sit zazen so to comprehend koans we sit zazen because then at some point our mind opens and then we can understand something that previously we had no clue what they were talking about So then you have a reaction. If you read something, you have no clue what the heck they're talking about. So one reaction is to say, well, this is ridiculous. Forget it. I'm not doing this. I'm not reading this. This is just gobbledygook, whatever that word is. And so that's one reaction. The other reaction is to say, oh, gee, I don't understand. The burden is on me. It's the burden on the person. the writer is the burden of understanding on the reader. So, if you say the burden is on you, then you say, well, there's something there.

[29:30]

I get that Dong is trying to get at something, but I don't really understand. But eventually, I may. And that's what usually happens. You know, after years of sitting Zazen, then at some point, Dogen starts making a little bit more sense. But you have to give him the benefit of the doubt. And so, usually we study something first. That's the way, the entry to the gate, right? People read books first. And then sometimes you understand something, sometimes you don't have a clue. but then it's something there that captures your attention and then that takes you to practice and then the teacher may say, oh don't read anything for a long time, just practice and then eventually you take up study once again but now you have the actual experience of Zazen

[30:42]

So you can read the teaching or the text, dharma text, in a different way. Or you could say, you know, this is beyond common sense, I'm going to do some other kind of practice. So he says, you just, so the person asking the question says, you're just sitting cross-legged and doing nothing. How is that supposed to be a means to enlightenment? So how doing nothing is supposed to be a means to enlightenment? And Dogen gets kind of upset a little bit by that, maybe. He says, you look on the meditation of the Buddhas and the supreme law as just sitting and doing nothing. You disparage Mahayana Buddhism. Your delusion is deep. You're like someone in the middle of the ocean crying out for water.

[31:48]

Fortunately, we're already sitting at ease in the self-joyous meditation of the Buddhas. Isn't this a great boon? What a pity that your true eye remains shut, that your mind remains drunk." So he really gives it to him for saying that. But actually, as I mentioned in the class, Uchiyama Roshi actually takes it on and says, yes, it is precisely so. This is good for nothing. Well, that was his teacher. This is good for nothing zazen. You sit all these years, you go through all this strenuous training, and what does that get you? at the level of the ego it doesn't do anything for you because we're still trying to get something but so we complain but it actually does it's like you know people say like people clients that I work with because I'm a therapist or an analyst

[33:00]

some kind, you know, I struggle all the time, all the way, you know, I don't want to talk about this, and what good is it to talk about this, and I don't have any problem after all, and who says I have a problem, and why do I have to talk about that, and actually you're the one who's making me miserable. All I have to do is just get rid of you, and then I'll be fine. That's my cure, you know. So, but actually they're getting better. But then they don't want to recognize that they're getting better because of something that you're doing, because they've been arguing with you all along. And then you don't want to say, you know, you don't want to try to, the best way to help somebody is to not try to help them. In the sense of, there's no desire to save anybody, that's the best way to save somebody.

[34:02]

So that's a different take on, that's a Koanic way of interpreting the Bodhisattva vow to save all beings. If you try to save somebody... A what kind of way? I'm sorry, I made it up. A Koanic way. I mean, if they get a sense, you're trying to cure them. Cure them from what? What is the problem I have again? Do I have this problem really, or do I don't have it? It shifts all the time. Do I have the problem? No, I don't have the problem. Actually, I kind of like it. I kind of like my problem. That must be why I keep having it. But actually people are changing, even though they complain, kicking and screaming.

[35:05]

And the same way with Zazen. We complain about Zazen and Sashin. kicking and screaming, this is terrible, this is so painful, this is ridiculous, this is masochistic, you're doing it year after year, what is this good for? It doesn't do anything for me, and so on and so forth. I'm sure surgeons heard all that ad nauseam for years. But actually, it does something in your life, whether you perceive it or you don't perceive it. And then all of a sudden you find yourself having some extra patience or some extra space in a situation where you can handle it differently. Or, more specifically, you carry actually the lamp with you. So the feeling that we have in Zazen stays with you. Because you're completely soaked.

[36:07]

through and through but it is good for nothing in the sense that if you're trying to achieve something the results are indirect imperceptible and indirect but they're there but we don't make a big We don't emphasize it a lot. That's the non-gaining mind, the non-gaining idea. So it's okay to say Zazen is good for nothing. Because it doesn't do anything for your ego. So from the point of view of the ego, it is good for nothing. So it's okay. It's not a big insult on the Buddhas to say that it's good for nothing. That's actually beginner's mind. And as he says, fortunately, we're already sitting at ease in this self-joyous meditation of the Buddhas.

[37:11]

So then he says, how much time we have? Five more minutes. Five more minutes. So, although he's emphasizing the practice as opposed to, he says, the stress falls on the truth or falsity of the training, not on the excellence or the mediocrity of the teaching. So the focus for us is on the actual practice, although, you know, Dogen had an excellent teaching unsurpassed but the focus is not on the teaching of the excellence of the teaching the focus is on the excellence of the practice but the practice he says has to be approached with right belief so we have to have a right belief that this is the the true gate of the of the buddhadharma

[38:33]

And I think I'm going to get to this, but I also wanted to mention today is my stepfather's anniversary of his passing, so November 10th. And I don't think I've ever talked about him here. And actually it coincided, I gave a talk two months ago at Bengulch, and it was my father's anniversary of his death so and I was I was remembering of the last conversation that I had with him his name was Jorge, Jorge Bosch and I didn't get to go before he died. So I talked to him on the phone while he was still alert and awake.

[39:41]

And all he said, he kept calling my name. It was just a call. And the issue, of course, is not my name, but it was sort of the relationship. And the voice was that of a little boy, playful little boy. like that. Very childlike and very joyous and he was at the edge of death. So that reminds me of another question of Darwin and I'm going to end with that. which was about what somebody else asked him about. Well, isn't the whole thing, the practice, more important than Zazen, is to free ourselves from birth and death? Isn't that the teaching of the Buddha, to find this eternal spirit that is beyond birth and death?

[40:48]

And birth and death sort of puts some kind of limitation to this eternal spirit. and Dogen then comes back and says, no precisely, the Buddha nature is the impermanence of birth and death. So we find Nirvana or the Buddha right there in birth and in death, right in the impermanence of birth and death. And that place where birth and death sort of join and so this dying old man is a And when my father died, I remember I was there when he passed away. His face became completely luminous when he expired his last breath. And the face was that of a young man. It was really amazing.

[41:50]

So nirvana is samsara. Samsara is birth and death. and birth and death are nirvana. So how do we get through birth? How does an infant get through birth? And how does a mother give birth? That's just like Sashin. I remember my first Sashin, birth to sense center, was when Daniel was born, the five-day Sashin. leave to go to the birth and so he told us well this is your this is your birthing Sashin. I remember it was a very painful Sashin but it felt like you know going through the the birth canal and So then that was death as well, birth and death, nirvana.

[43:06]

Thank you very much.

[43:09]

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