Well, yesterday's talk, toward the end, I wanted to end on time, so I kind of hurried through the last part. Paul said, well, how come you hurried through the last part? So I said that I would talk about that today. So I do want to fulfill my promise, but I also have something else that I want to talk about. So I'll rush through this slowly. I can't remember exactly what the last part was, but I'll start from where Ko-un Eijo talks about the Samadhi of Komyōzō, and he also mentions the Ocean Seal Samadhi.

[01:21]

He says, from the beginning, this Samadhi, Komyōzō Zamae, is the dojo. Dojo, we usually associate that with karate or martial arts and also Zen. Dojo and zendo. Zendo is a place where you sit zazen. Dojo is a practice place in a monastery. So if you go to Eheiji, they don't exactly call it the zendo, they call it the dojo it's their home. So dojo is more like, in that sense, home place. Do, way place. Literally, do, jo. The way place, the place where you practice the way. And zendo is the place where you practice zazen.

[02:25]

But he's saying that this samadhi is the dojo. In other words, we say sometimes, people come and they say, you know, when I sat zazen, I felt I finally returned home. That's the dojo. The true dojo is when I sat zazen, I really felt that I returned home. So that's experiencing the samadhi of dojo, of returning home. So he says from the beginning, this samadhi, komyo zo zamae, is the dojo, the place of practice which is the ocean of buddhahood, which is kain zamae, the great ocean samadhi. It's like the ocean is the metaphor for Buddha nature, or for our nature, true nature, or we talk about the ocean and the waves.

[03:44]

So our life is a wave on this ocean, but ocean and wave are the same thing. So it's the samadhi of Kāi-in-samāi is the great ocean samādhi from which we can never get separated because the ocean is our nature. So this is the zazen, which is the sitting of the Buddha, the practice of the Buddha, which has been faithfully transmitted. Since you are already a child of the Buddha, sit stable practice. So you're simply practicing Buddha, who you are. Never sit in the manner of hell dwellers, hungry ghosts, animals, fighting spirits, human beings, heavenly beings, Ashravakas or Pracheka Buddhas.

[04:47]

So he's talking about the six worlds, right, the world of the heavenly. Don't sit in the Those in the six worlds, the heavenly world, the hell realm, fighting demons, animals, hungry ghosts, and humans. You're sitting Buddha's practice. So when we sit Sazen, although it is human practice, it's Buddha practice. Buddha's practice, because we are Buddha. We're not seeking Buddha, we're practicing because we're Buddha. We're not seeking enlightenment, we're practicing because enlightenment leads us to practice. There's nothing to seek. Simply express our Buddha nature and our enlightenment. So these six world practices are not practices of alliteration, the practices of the six worlds,

[06:13]

are practices which keep us bound to the world. So there's a footnote here, it says, these refer to attitudes toward practice which are based on a desire to gain some sort of reward. The sitting of Sravakas and Pratyekabuddhas refers to an attitude in which practice is viewed as a means to escape from samsara. In Hokyoki, which is Dogen's account of his talks, his dokasans, actually, with his teacher, Nyojo, Nyojo says, apparently, The zazen of a narhat or a sravaka and of a pracheka buddha is not flavored by desire, yet it lacks compassion.

[07:28]

Therefore, it is different from the zazen of the buddhas and patriarchs in which compassion is primary and one vows to save all beings." So that's one big difference. So most of the meditation practices of those in the six worlds are to gain something, whereas Zazen is the practice of the Buddha which is not to gain something. So he says, practice shikantaza in this way. Practice shikantaza is the practice of no gaining mind. Don't waste your time. This is the dojo of straight forward mind. And this is called komyozo zamae, inconceivable liberation.

[08:33]

So now, I had planned actually to talk about this, comment on this talk of Suzuki Roshi's, which got labeled not sticking to enlightenment. Well, giving something away is like selling water by the river in which there's no price. except your life.

[09:49]

So, Suzuki Roshi, this talk is about ... the reason I wanted to talk about this is because he talks about the last day of sasheen and the first day of your life after sasheen. So, he says, the Huinam, the sixth ancestor said, to dwell on emptiness and to keep a calm mind is not tanzen. Well, after all that everybody told us. If you've ever read the Platform Sutra you run across these statements where he says, don't sit like in the immobile position like a block of wood. You know, sentient beings are animated and a block of wood is inanimate.

[11:00]

What is he talking about? After all, you know... He also said, just to sit in the cross-legged posture is not Zen. At the same time, I always say to you, just sit. If you don't understand what our practice is and stick to the words, you'll be confused. But if you understand what real Zen is, you will know that the ancestors' words are a kind warning for us. I can remember reading the Platform Sutra and running across these phrases after practicing for some time and thinking, this can't be what it says. You know, 1,500 years or so of Zen practice, and about ... which all points to Zazen sitting And then he's saying this. Someone else must have thought about this as well during all that time.

[12:05]

As a matter of fact, everybody did. And I thought, well, what is it that he's actually saying? He can't be saying, don't sit zazen. He can't be saying that this is not the right way, even though that's what the sutra says. So we have to understand and read between the lines. to read the actual meaning and not just get hung up on the words. And then I realized what he's really saying is don't get caught by sitting zazen, don't get attached to sitting like a block of wood, don't stay in the zazen position and thinking this is all there is without applying this to your life.

[13:06]

So, that's what we agree that he was talking about. as an opening statement, and then the rest of it is kind of like applying the understanding of what the Sixth Ancestor is saying. He says, now our Seshin is almost at an end, and soon you will be going back to your homes and becoming involved in your everyday activity. If you have been practicing true Zazen, you may be happy to go back to your everyday life. You may feel encouraged to go back, but if you feel hesitant to go back to your city life or everyday life, it means that you stick to zazen. That is why the Sixth Ancestor said, if you dwell on emptiness and stick to your practice, that is not true zazen.

[14:13]

If you dwell on emptiness and stick to the practice of zazen, that's not true zazen. So, I remember when we were sitting at Sokoji and we'd sit Zazen and Suzuki Roshi would encourage us to come back the next day and sit Zazen in the morning. Not to, you know, there's this idea we have of we sat seven days and now we can take a break, take a rest, which is okay. But what he was trying to say was this is one continuous practice of our life, whether we're sitting in Zazen or whether we're in our ordinary daily life, it's not two things.

[15:19]

It's not something separate. Zazen is not something separate from our daily life. So to just continue to sit ordinary daily period of zazen right after zazen is like there's nothing special that happened. Don't think that there's something special that happened. And don't get caught by your samadhi. We have this wonderful, most of us, Samadhi. When you walk out the door, you feel that. You have that feeling that everything around you is alive and shining, which is wonderful, but you can't try to capture that and take it with you. You can only take with you what you have on each moment.

[16:34]

This is very common that we want to stick to something. I had this wonderful experience and I've never been able to get there again. Of course not. You never will. that will never happen. You will never recapture anything because the bird is out of the cage, flown away. And you have to see, we have to be able to see where we are as the right So you may feel encouraged to go back, but if you feel hesitant to go back to your city life, it means you stick to Zazen. You know, I was talking to Bob. I know we're not supposed to talk during Zazen, but I was talking to Bob. We both agreed, you know, The Seshin had this wonderful feeling, and it was just getting going, we're just getting into it, just beginning to settle into Seshin, and it's over.

[17:43]

And so there's this feeling of, gee, I wish we could continue the Seshin. On the other hand, it's really going to be nice to go home. So, yes, it's time to go home, you just go home. But even though there's this feeling of, it would be nice to continue. I remember Suzuki Roshi saying, telling us, you know, there were people who, when we do kin-hin, would always want to sit through kin-hin. He said, when it's time to do kin-hin, everybody gets off the tan, and does kin-hin together. Nobody sits by themselves while everybody else is doing kin-hin. We're having this great feeling in zazen and we want to continue that feeling, but the bell rings and it's time to do qinyin. So you should let go of your wonderful feeling and do qinyin.

[18:52]

This is practice, not being attached to some special state of mind or some wonderful feeling. When it's time to do something, you just do it and let go this and enter into this. Sometimes, when we have work period, we assign people to do things. You clean the toilet, you, you know, hammer the nail, you mow the lawn. And people say, can I do this? I don't really want to do that. This is, called preference, which is highly discouraged. So I remember somebody saying, every session they make me clean the toilets. I'm thinking, oh, what a wonderful opportunity you have. And they're thinking, gosh, you know, I always get this lowly job.

[19:56]

Cleaning the toilets, you know, is called the prime, the primo activity at the monastery. So, hanging on to some preference that we have, something we want to do, oh, I'd really like to, please let me do that. So as much as you ask to do something, we say, no, do this. When you're totally free of preference, then why don't you do something like, I know you would like to do this, why don't you do that? That's the way it is. As soon as you let go of preference, that's why letting go of preference, if you want to advance in the Zen system, this is just let go of preference and then you get everything.

[20:59]

But as long as you want something, you get nothing. This is called holding tight and letting go. They never let me do anything. They're always saying no. They're always, you know, down on me. As soon as you let go of preference, then you can do whatever you want. Or whatever is appropriate that you want. He never asked me to do these nice things. Anyway, when you practice Zazen moment after moment, you will accept what you have now in this moment, and you are satisfied with everything you do. So that's the key. That's what Zazen is all about, being satisfied with what's happening in this moment and where you are and what you're doing.

[22:04]

Because you just accept it, you don't have any problem, or you don't have any complaints. That is zazen. Even if you can't do that, you at least know what to do. Then sitting zazen will encourage you to do other things as well. Just as you accept your painful legs while sitting, you accept your everyday life. which may be more difficult than your Zazen practice. So actually there's no escape. I remember my first Sashin at Sokoji, and around 11 o'clock, I said, I can't take this anymore. So I left, and I went down to the marina, walked around, but there was nothing I could do. the world was out there and I wasn't a part of it. There was no place for me to fit into that world.

[23:11]

So I went back to Dinsadzin again and I realized that there was no place, even though I left Sishin, there was no place to go. And my commitment and my whole being was in Sishin, even though I was not there, so there was no place to go except to go back and finish the sasheen. So that was my first lesson in continuous practice, and that there's no escape. There's no place to escape to. So he says, if you come to have a taste of real practice, especially in this, he says, seven-day sitting, and then return to your busy activity without losing the taste of practice, this will be a great encouragement.

[24:19]

Even though it is difficult, and even though you are busy, you will always have the taste of calmness in your mind, not because you stick to it, but because you enjoy it. when you enjoy it, you don't have to stick to it. So if you have a real taste of our practice, you can enjoy it all the time, whatever you do. If everything we do is within practice, If we have continuous practice, then everything we do is continuous practice, no matter what it is. And then there's some feeling of, there's no way to be a victim. You can't be a victim, because this is not the world against you. This is, everything is practice. So sometimes we say, hell is just another place to practice.

[25:24]

all the difficult events in our life are just means of practice. So we come up against very difficult circumstances. We can't change the world, you know. Someone says, how are we gonna change the world? All these terrible things are happening. That needs to be addressed through your practice. we have to be able to accept what's happening in the world and address it as an element of our practice. Otherwise, you go crazy. So he says, you may think you have attained enlightenment

[26:31]

But if you are busy or in some difficulty and think you need to have some experience again, that is not real enlightenment, because it is something you're sticking to. Real enlightenment is always with you, so there's no need for you to stick to it or even to think about it, because it is always with you. Difficulty itself is enlightenment. Your busy life itself is enlightened activity. That is true enlightenment. So practice equals enlightenment, equals everyday life. You know, I think it was Dogen that uses this simile of putting the marker on the boat. The fisherman goes out in the ocean and he catches this great big fish. So he puts a marker on the boat and he says, tomorrow I'll come back to this place.

[27:36]

So that's like revisiting your enlightenment experience. You can't find it. I'm going to revisit my enlightenment experience, but I can't find it. Put the marker on the boat, it's like trying to revisit your enlightenment experience. There's no need to think about enlightenment. Enlightenment is always with us. It's like closer than hands and feet. But if you try to make it into something, you lose it. If you start to fiddle with it, you lose it. If you try to see it, you lose it.

[28:43]

You can be it, but you can't see it. As soon as you take a peek, you know, I want to take a peek at my enlightenment, disappears. You can only act in an enlightened way. which includes dealing with your difficulty. So he said, nowadays people are dating, but enlightenment is not something you can see, you can meet as a date. I remember talking to Daniel, my son, saying, how come you never date? He said, dad, nowadays people don't date. That's old fashioned. I said, what do they do? He says, they just hang out together. Maybe that's true. Sounds pretty good, actually. I kind of like that better. But he says, so if you organize your life and get up at a certain time, pick up your bag lunch, I used to do that, at a certain time and leave for work, then even if you have a girlfriend or boyfriend, you will meet them.

[29:59]

So this is an interesting kind of thing he's turning toward. He says, there's no need to make a date. At a certain time, she will come to the corner where you usually see her. That is our way. It is rather foolish and troublesome to make a phone call. Even if you make a date by telephone, hey, I'm leaving now. If she doesn't come to the corner, you'll be disappointed. if you do not make a date and she comes to the corner, you'll be really happy. So, you know, it's like, let things happen naturally, you know, don't try to force the issue. I can remember in the 60s, yeah, 60s, when a lot of the Zen teachers came to America They were trying to get people to experience Kensho, and they're driving them to Kensho in the zendo, beating them and yelling and shouting, and people, I have a Kensho experience.

[31:09]

This is like forcing, like putting flowers in a dark room and forcing them to bloom at off-season. They come out okay as flowers, but there's something about them that's different than a natural flower, a flower that blooms in its proper time. So, you can force a Kensho, maybe, but that experience can be a difficulty. because then you're always trying to revisit that experience. Suzuki Roshi always put that, never condoned that kind of activity. Enlightenment is found within the normal activities of your daily life.

[32:19]

Doesn't that make more sense? Yes. Enlightenment fills your daily life as ordinary activity. It's just that we don't see the ordinary activity as enlightened activity. That's our problem. When you become enlightened, nothing changes. It's just that you see something that you thought was ordinary in its real sense, in its true sense. You see the real nature of what you always thought was ordinary. And then, it is ordinary. Ordinary means enlightened. So, this is why in our practice, we emphasize the ordinariness of daily life. If you stood around like a Zen master, you know, that's phony. You should not stand out in some way.

[33:24]

A person who has good understanding doesn't try to stand out in some special way, as enlightened, but may actually look kind of stupid. Kadagiri Rishi, I remember he used to say, in Soto Zen, you should always be a little bit stupid. He meant, don't stand out in some way. Don't show off. your knowledge or your understanding. Because no matter how much understanding we have, it's still a pittance. So he says, this is how you attain enlightenment. It's not a laughing matter. I'm talking about something real. not to make any date means not to expect or stick to enlightenment.

[34:25]

When you are encouraged by enlightenment, then seeing her, even just a glimpse of her is enough. It's because Dogen talks about thoroughness, gujin. Thoroughness, it's a big subject, Thoroughness means synthesis. It means when you see one thing, you realize that that one thing is the whole universe. That's thoroughness. So you understand that a tree has eternal life as well as temporary life.

[35:27]

That's thoroughness. So you see the sacred quality of each thing, of each person, each tree, each animal, each blade of grass has the same nature. And so thorough, meaning everything has the same nature. And so we respect that nature and we work and address each entity with that quality. So it's like, yes, if you're in love, you may see eye to eye with this person that you're in love with for a second, and it makes your whole day happy.

[36:38]

You don't have to be with her all day long, or him all day long, just because that one glance includes everything. So that's kind of like the metaphor. You don't need so much. That's what makes it easy to be satisfied. So the whole relationship is included in the glance, in that contact. So this is what the sixth ancestor meant when he said, just to dwell in emptiness is not true practice. Originally, he attained enlightenment by one famous statement, ìWithout dwelling on anything, you have true mind.î Actually, the statement is, ìWithout dwelling any place, any special place, without any special place to stand, you have true mind.î So if you stick to something, you will lose your enlightenment.

[37:47]

Even though you try hard to make a date or an appointment, it doesn't work. The enlightenment you attain in that way is something that you stick to, not something that is always with you, that always encourages you. So, this point is very important. Even after we finish our Sashin, continue to practice your everyday lives and have real enlightenment. Then he talks about Sushim. You know, we say, how do we enter enlightenment? And it's called the gateless gate, the mumon, the gateless gate, the gate that has no special place. You can enter anywhere. Where's the place to enter and leave?

[38:49]

Anywhere, wherever you are, right here, right now. The gate is always open, but the gate of our mind is often closed. So, You know, even though we may not think or recognize our enlightenment, as long as we are faithful to our practice, enlightenment is there. And at some point you recognize that. That's called realization. Oh yeah, I see what it is now. It's just what I've been doing all along. When Rinzai was enlightened by Obaku, he said, there's nothing special to Obaku Zen at all.

[39:59]

Do you have any questions? Thank you. I appreciate your encouragement for us not to get attached to My question is about keeping our practice fresh and the difference or the line between nothing special and nothing going on. Oh yeah, nothing special means everything is special. curious about that edge of practice where we keep the ante up and keep aware, but not get so hyped up that we lose the ordinariness.

[41:13]

Yeah, the problem with that, I understand your question, is because that's the dualistic way of thinking, and that's how we get lost is in dualistic thinking. It's nothing special. Well, if you're thinking dualistically, then you think there's nothing special. But if you're not thinking dualistically, nothing means everything. Special means not special. Not special means special. We have to stop thinking dualistically. If you're thinking dualistically then you fall into that kind of, it's either this or that. So, nothing special means all things have this special quality of belonging to everything else.

[42:16]

So, we treat everything in a very special way because you are special because you're But that's nothing special, it's just the way it is. So if the mind state arises where we get discouraged and we feel this, you know, it's like that, well that's the moment of enlightenment. That's right. And then the question is, where is my practice? So we always turn back to, where is my practice? How is this practice? How is walking across the street practice? How do I practice with this discouragement?

[43:18]

So if you just leave it, you can, you just leave discouragement to discouragement. But I can remember times when I was discouraged or had some kind of really difficult stuff going on, and all I could do was sit Zazen. I couldn't walk back and forth, all I could do was just sit Zazen. And I said, I'm just going to sit here until this is resolved. And it worked. I mean, that's doing Zazen for a purpose, but... But the purpose was to come back to reality and to come back to stability. So, in difficulty and discouragement, coming back to stability is the practice, over and over again.

[44:24]

You know, when we're sitting in Zazen, the mind is always wandering. We're always dreaming. And then we keep coming back. We keep coming back. So we... You know, that's a given in Zazen. But it's the same thing in our daily life. It's not different. That's how we practice. That's how Zazen and Zendo, they're practiced in our daily life. It's exactly the same. Our mind is always wandering off, and we're always bringing it back. over and over again, but it's wonderful practice. That's how we continue to be aware of our practice, and we just keep doing that all the time. You know, we're lost, we get lost, and we come back, and we get lost, and we dream, and we wake up over and over again. And then you think about training for an athletic endeavor, you train, you train, you train, you do whatever you're training for, and then what do you do?

[45:48]

Well, you train again. But there is something special about the event that you train for. Right, right. It's a special event, but everything is a special event. Everything is a special event. There's nothing, you know, that's ordinariness. Ordinariness means everything is a special event. You know, if you're an athlete, you practice, every day and then you do your act and then you continue to practice because doing your act is a special event but it's only a blip on the screen. A musician you practice all the time and then you have a concert once or something and it's a special event and it has its glory or whatever or disappointments or whatever

[47:01]

keep practicing, because practicing is your life, and the event is an event, it's just a configuration in that practice, just one other configuration in that practice. So, practice is continuous, and then we have events called, an event called sasheen. And it's very special. But the practice is also very special. If you're doing scales, you know, thinking about something else, that's not practice. Practice is being involved in the everyday special quality of whatever you're doing. It's all the same. Now, we say, well, this is a special practice called Sashin. But actually, this is ordinary activity, and the special practice is what's going to happen in your daily life tomorrow when you wake up.

[48:07]

That's special practice. This is just ordinary. But we just have to think, well, this is special because that's ordinary. So we're comparing one to the other, and you can just as well turn it around. So special, ordinary, special, ordinary, it's all the same. Going with that image or metaphor, I was thinking, in a way, a theatrical performance is, I think, a good image in that, you know, you practice, you rehearse, and then you have to play, but you're in it for a long run, and you have to do it No matter how you're feeling or what's going on in your life, you have to be on the stage and do it. And a really good actor usually, when they're not on the stage, they're looking at everything around them and they're taking things in so that the next play they're in, they'll bring something to it.

[49:17]

And there are challenges. Yes, and this is the clown. That's right, that's why practice, it's no grade. What do they call it when you go to college and they don't give you a grade? Pass-fail. Pass-fail, but this is pass-pass. Exactly, exactly.

[50:28]

We're all failures, you know. I remember Suzuki Roshi saying, your practice should just be like tossing a sieve into the ocean. It sinks to the bottom. Great failure, you know. That's wonderful for our practice, to be the great failure. Then everything is wonderful. Well, you know, if you can let go of success and failure, what you do will be successful. Alan? And whether these people are caught or not, some of them are doing something that is

[52:09]

Everybody is capable. That's, I think, what you were talking about, finding your stability in Zazen, whether we do it and our minds are wandering all over the place, Don't idle away your time. On the subject of feeling flat or low or depressed, I was telling you yesterday, I've lost very dear friends.

[53:46]

And naturally, I was grieving and feeling very depressed about it. And especially recently, instead I decided to do this session because I thought I was just not able to come back. And it's really brought me back. And I think part of it, and you asked me this question yesterday, is the friend that I just recently lost, she was only 50. And so part of it is the grieving losing my friend. And then part of it is this slight panic of, what am I doing? What am I doing? There's so much time. And sitting, then I say, I'm doing this. I'm doing everything I think, I intuit that it's about the right time.

[55:04]

I don't have my watch. Overtime. I just intuit that it's overtime. Which is the right time.

[55:21]

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