Zazen Refresher

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BZ-02372
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Well, every once in a while I give a Zazen refresher. It's not exactly Zazen instruction. It's like to refresh your memory and your posture and your understanding of Zazen. So I'm happy to answer any questions. First of all, I want to know if you have any questions. Think about it. Great. I have a question. So do you have a question? Yes, I do. I often don't feel how I'm sitting. And sometimes it feels like my head is drooping forward And I just want to know if this is correct, that this notch back here should be a straight line to the top of the head.

[01:07]

Is that true? Notch? This little notch. That much is not? It's not. Maybe I'm the only one who has this notch. But is that right? Well, let's see. Let's just look at it. OK. Your posture. from the crown of your head, you're hanging from the ceiling by the crown of your head by a string. And so if you allow yourself to fall and dangle, twisting in the wind, with the string from the top of your head hanging from the ceiling, and you just let everything fall, then everything will fall into place.

[02:13]

and you don't have to worry about whether you're holding it this way or holding it that way. Zazen, you know, instruction for posture is really simple. Very simple. It's just like you stretch your body and it feels like you're hanging around your head attached to the sand. It's restrained. And you let everything fall, and it all falls into place. And if you're sitting like this, it means that's not happening. If you're sitting like this, it means that's not happening. So think this way. This is all you have to do in zazen, is to think that way. What do you do with your mind in zazen? You think the sword of zazen. So, you're using your mind fully. You're using all the power of your mind fully.

[03:16]

Without anything left out. As fully as possible. To do one thing. And that is to hang. Twisting in the wind. And all of your body will just fall into place. But if I were to correct your posture on your chin and one finger on your lower back, and I go, so that the two fingers line up, so to speak. And then you'll be sitting up straight. Now, if you're sitting in a chair, it's different. But maybe not. It depends on your ability. It's really hard to sit in a chair. That's the hardest thing. for your excellent practice. But, if you want to hold your back straight, and you can do that, it's a good thing to do.

[04:22]

So you're not necessarily leaning against the back of the chair. This is why we have to be careful about how we order chairs, because sometimes chairs look great, but they're not good for sitting. And if the chair slides backward, then it's not good for sitting. So we've ordered some of those. And some people like them, but for most people it's hard because you can't hold your back straight so easily. So you have to find your posture. You have to find the way to sit according to your necessity. Does that answer your question, or what?

[05:34]

I guess I wanted to hear, maybe you did, but I'm thinking you've told me, you've said at times something about an attitude to have in your zazen. You just said, pay attention to your posture 100%, and that's it. But I think I've heard you say sometimes, or read maybe, Soft mind. Yeah. Soft mind. If your mind is flexible, then your body will be flexible. If your mind is stiff, your body will be stiff. Would a synonym for soft, would that be gentle? Gentle. That's what soft means. Yeah, gentle. It means flexible, basically. Flexible mind. Flexible. Flexible body, flexible mind. Even though you're sitting up really straight, and you're twisting in the wind.

[06:37]

There's effort in it, but it's not stiff, it's not fixed. It's not rigid. It looks rigid, but it's not rigid. It's very flexible and soft. So that's how you can sit very comfortably Is there a good way of relating in an attitude way towards unpleasant feeling like anxiety arising or anger or despair, a way of relating to it? trying to not feel it or something.

[07:40]

Everything comes up and everything goes. That's the attitude. Just let everything come up and let it go. When I sit down, I can't feel anxiety. But if I were to feel anxiety, And then since then, the anxiety wouldn't be there. Or I would just let it be there. We just let everything be. Do you think, let me tell you what I do with something you think this is not, this is too much, this is too contrived. If I have feelings like that arise, I try to be open to them. Instead, because my tendency is to flinch away. And so, instead I try to be kind of open and sort of friendly to them. That's just a little effort in the direction of acceptance.

[08:41]

Well, friendly is OK. But you're not attached to the friend. I don't think that's an issue. Because they seem to change except when I'm doing it. Never mind. If you're doing it in an instance where it sort of goes away, it doesn't. Yeah, but you don't want anything to go away, and you don't want anything else to go away. You don't want it to go away. Yeah. No pushing away, and no holding on. That's the whole secret of life. Thank you. But I do want to say that, of course, there are other things besides posture. But posture is the main thing, because that's the foundation. Foundation of Zazen is posture. So once you have the foundation, then you can pay attention to breathing.

[09:45]

But posture is first. And then breathing. I think it's the hardest thing for people, humans, to be aware of breath. Often I surprise people by saying, somebody, by saying, where is your breath? You should always know. You should never be unaware of your breath. You may not be conscious of it, but when you're asked that question, you should know where the breath is. You should be able to point to it. Why, yes, I always breathe air. Sometimes I breathe air, but only when I'm anxious or when I'm scared or something like that. Because when the breath is up here, you're not sending enough oxygen to your body. So people sometimes say, sometimes it does and I feel faint or I feel like falling over or something like that.

[10:51]

to breathe fully and let the breath come down to the ahara. So inhaling is expanding the ahara, exhaling is contracting. And it's all here. It's like a saw. When you saw a piece of wood, you don't watch the end of the saw going back and forth. It doesn't rising and falling of your lower abdomen. And if you want to, if you can't access it that way, then you can take some deep breaths. through your mouth.

[12:11]

And expand this like a rubber tire around your waist. Inner tube. You're about to make that sound. I'm only doing that for drama. Silently. And then feel your back and your front beating when you exhale. Let it all out. And then... So that primes your breathing. And then you just breathe through your nose, after two or three times. Big breaths. Some of it's here. And then when you lose this, and you can't quite get it again, you're breathing up again. Do that again. Just to prime. So you're always breathing here. That's imperative for Zazen.

[13:12]

Breathing up here, shallow breathing. No. Because Zazen is functioning fully. If you're not functioning fully in Zazen, then there's something wrong. Because the posture should be fully functioning, and the breath should be fully functioning. There shouldn't be any impartiality. This gives you the opportunity to totally free yourself from your conditioning. by emotion, thought. That's why we don't pay attention to thinking. We just let the breath be free from thought, thought controls.

[14:17]

So we free ourselves from that conditioning and just let ourselves have that unconditioned Let's say waiting in line at the Berkeley Bowl for the cashier where you can actually pay really good attention to your posture and breathing. Most of our life is filled with activity where our body may be bent. Can you give us some encouraging words about how to maintain posture and attitude when our body is not expressed in this particular form? So we express the sitting form as various activities.

[15:38]

So, always aware of your breath, no matter what you're doing. Walking, you're aware of the breath. Standing, you're aware of the breath. Working, you're aware of the breath. You know, it's not like you're always focused on the breath, but you know where the breath is. You're working in the kitchen, and you're chopping things, and you're cooking, and all this. It's very interesting, you know, from time to time I'm talking about this, making a sandwich. You think about all the activities, all the movements that go into making, say, an avocado sandwich. I'll use vegan terms. Not a turkey sandwich. So you have bread. And so you take the bread, and you have to slice it.

[16:45]

It may be sliced already. If it's sliced, you're opening the package, you're standing, you're opening the package, you're taking off the twisty odor, and you're taking two slices of bread out, and you're putting them on the bread board. And then you go, and you turn around, and you walk over to the refrigerator, and you open the refrigerator, And then you take out the mustard, you take out the lettuce, you take out the tomato, and um... jerky. And then you close the refrigerator, and then you walk back, and you get a knife, and you open a jar of mustard, and you put it on the bread, and then you put it down, and then you take the avocado, and you take out the knife, and you take out that little pit at the end, and then you slice it, and then you open it, and then you put it down, put one side down, and you take the other side, and you kind of slice it, or however you do it, and you scoop it out, and then you scoop it onto the bread.

[17:57]

Think about how many movements that is of it, and you haven't even and you get the salt. And then you go back to the fridge and you go, oh yeah, I remembered the lemon. And you get the lemon, and then you slice the lemon. Slice just the nut off, you know. And then you squeeze it out here. And you put it down. And then you slice the tomato. You pick up the knife, and you slice the chimney, put it on. There are all these little movements. I'm not even mentioning those other little movements, you know, that are micro-movements which are involved. And so on and on and on. And this is our life, right? It's involved in each one of those movements.

[19:01]

And so it's good to be aware of each one of those movements and careful and so forth. And at the same time you're breathing. So, if you're anxious, your breath is up here. I've got to get to that sandwich you're eating. Or, you can pay attention to all your movements in a mindful way, and your breath is down here. And since your breath is down here, you have calmness of mind, and then all those minute actions become enjoyable rather than anxious, creating anxiety. So, everything, you're not aware of the breath, particularly, because you're aware of all those activities, but somewhere in the back of your mind, or somewhere behind all that, or within all that, is your awareness of breathing.

[20:15]

Because the rhythm of your activity is connected to that rhythm of your breath. And so all of our activity is connected to the rhythm of our breath. And that's how you practice when you're not sitting in the Zafu. All the activities are connected to awareness of breath. Last year during practice period, during Sashin, you stopped reading from branching streams and you one day talked about, there's a section in there where Suzuki Roshi talks about attitude of awareness in Zazen, of all the parts of the body doing Zazen independently and together.

[21:31]

Zazen is called the great dynamic activity. In order for that to be, all the parts of the body have to be totally involved in this one act. So it's the samadhi of this one act. I'm committed to this one activity. I'm sitting up straight. So we scan the body during zazen, because the body is always changing. You say, well, this is the right posture. You don't have to maintain this posture during 40 minutes. And so you have to keep micromanaging. You have to keep reasserting your posture all the time. finding your posture all the time.

[22:40]

So it's a continual finding your posture. Continuously finding your posture. And there's plenty to do with that. You only get bored when you lose that connection. So as long as you really pay attention to your back is straight to be But then it starts slumping, and then you have to keep going up, and then it starts slumping, going up, and then your elbows, you know, shouldn't be tight against your body. You have to remember to leave wings, don't let your wings fray. The chicken wings. What about the arms up? Well, some people hold their arms up like this, but I think that's acceptable. And so in a circle, what creates the evenness of a circle is letting the whole circle have even pressure all the way around.

[23:52]

So, if you think that way. I like keeping the mudra down, but if you hold it up, you know, if there's a little area, if you hold it up a little bit more, then you can feel it in your lower back. Very interesting. If you move the mudra up about an inch from your lap or two, then you can feel that in your lower back. And that's nice because when you feel your lower back moving forward, then you know your posture is good. This is where my little favorite thing is that you've ever told us. The string at the top of the head is one. I've told you that a lot of times. Yeah, I know. No, no, no, no, no. And that one I can do and still not be in good posture. And the string that makes the most difference to me is the one you attached right here to the sternum. And when I lift that, I use all my back muscles in the right way.

[25:16]

And so that's the one I come back to, and everything falls into place. Yes, that's right. So I usually don't talk about the string, although sometimes I do. Off your head? The sternum, yeah. But lifting the sternum, that's really important. But then everything, all the parts of your body are flexible because they're not doing anything. It's not like that. Although, when I go around the street in someone's posture, it's like that color. Honestly, I can't believe that people can sit like that for a long time because they must get very tired. What do you expect when you touch somebody's posture? Well, they just move.

[26:21]

If you feel like you're just all one piece, then if I were to come and push you by the elbow, your whole body would go forward. Because it's just hanging there. It's not attached. Everything, all the parts of your body are independent. Totally independent. All the little parts of your fingers are independent. Otherwise, you couldn't do things like this. If your legs weren't independent, if the thigh bone and the femur and the toes and everything weren't independent, you couldn't walk. So all the parts of your body are independent, and you give them their independence. There's no tenseness in your body. It's not exactly relaxed. If I said relaxed, then people would go, oh yeah.

[27:24]

But it's really relaxed. It's not lax. But it's soft. Softness. flexibility, just like, you know, when you move, flexibility. And that's what keeps you in shape. And when your mind is loose and flexible, your body can be loose and flexible. So it's really up to your attitude to cultivate an attitude of soft mind. Soft mind doesn't mean mushy. It means flexible and not rigid. So, good posture is like a tree. You know, the branches aren't doing anything. The tree is your vertebrae, right?

[28:29]

And the branches are just hanging off the tree. And when the wind comes, they do this. And so you can sit for a long period of time in this way. Because you're just flowing with the breeze. The arms are just free. If they're not, then we hold our arms. We think that we're supposed to hold our elbows tight against our body, and I don't know why. I remember Katagiri used to say, you should hold your arms out as if you had an egg under each armpit. Sometimes, when we had Japanese teachers, they used to like to have raw egg in their rice for breakfast.

[29:38]

We used to serve raw eggs. Okay, you put it in the rice, mix it in the rice, pretty good. But sometimes they didn't tell us it was all right. But anyway, you should hold your arms like this. Not that you're doing something, it's just that you're not clutching your body with your elbows. So your hands free up. So Zazen posture looks so rigid, and yet it's so upright and flexible. It's actually quite natural. It's just that we're so used to being conditioned by our postures, so used to being conditioned by our mental activity and emotional activity, that actually sitting up straight

[30:41]

It's not something that we're used to doing. It seems unnatural. But actually, it's just natural. It's just normal posture, which is not conditioned by the emotions of And so there's nothing holding it down, no covering, no thought covering, no emotional covering. So there's nothing holding it down, and so it can spring up. It's really interesting how our emotion, thought, conditions our postures and holds us down. That's how we do it. These people, these days, do exaggerated things in order to find their freedom, like jumping off a bridge with a bungee cord.

[31:44]

You don't have to jump off a bridge with a bungee cord in order to find your freedom. Just as I said. Often you say just Siddhāsan, and sometimes I've heard you say, qualify that Siddhāsan properly. Yes. And I've been concerned about if I'm doing it properly. Are there common pitfalls? How can I know that I'm doing it properly? Well, here's how you know. and then you cross your legs one way or another or however you do it and then you put your hands this way and you sway so that to loosen yourself up you know let go of stiffness so when you do this you're actually relaxing your body you're taking the strain off your joints because our joints get stiff

[33:02]

And you're letting go of the strain on your joints. You're shaking off the conditioning. And then you sit up straight. And the way that you know that you're sitting up straight, which is called proper, is that your nose lines up with your navel. That's straight. And so you have a way of Even though you can't see your navel, you know it's there. I don't. And then, the other way is that your ears are in line with your shoulders. In order for my ears to be in line with my shoulders, I really have to sit up straight with my head not doing this. And that's the core going to the ceilings.

[34:05]

My ears are aligned with my shoulders. My nose is aligned with my navel. So those are the rules for sitting up straight. And then you put your hands in the mudra. Sun's very lightly touching. And then... You go... And then let your breath come down. Inhaling, exhaling, inhaling, exhaling. And then you let your mind follow the breath. And then thoughts come into your mind and pass through, because that's the nature of the mind. The nature of the mind is to think. So you don't want to stop thinking. It's just that thinking is thinking. You're not thinking.

[35:07]

As soon as you start taking up the thoughts, then you're thinking. As soon as you start elaborating, then you're thinking. But actually, just because there are thoughts doesn't mean you're thinking. So you're directing your thoughts to the posture of and to letting thoughts that are not associated with Zathan to just kind of go. It's like riding in the train, and you're looking out the window, and there are trees and farmhouses, and then you get to the city, and then you get to the station and buildings. But you just watch the scenery go by without jumping off the train. enjoying your posture and your breath. And so you have a sense of well-being because there's nothing hindering you.

[36:20]

You may have some discomfort. We always have discomfort. But if we don't attached to it, then it's just sensations. We have many sensations. We have sensations that we call happiness. We have sensations that we call joy. And we have sensations that we call ouch, or pain. And when we attach to those sensations, they become our jailer. So we put ourselves in prison by locking ourselves in. But we don't want to lock ourselves in. We just open the gate and let ourselves out by not attaching.

[37:24]

It's just a sensation. And we can make, you know, big deal out of that. And you can call up all your friends and tell them how much it hurts. Or you can just let it go and never think about it again. It's great if you can just let it go and never think about it again. And surprisingly, But this is the trick, and it's not easy. For some people it's easier, but we have to bear it until we finally learn how to let things kind of go without attachment. This is what Buddhism is about.

[38:25]

Yes, Zazen teaches us all about that. It teaches us all about non-attachment, and how to accept, how to be free But sitting in a chair, there's no way to say it should be this way or that way. We can always have suggestions of how it should be. But since it's an individual, it depends on how our bodies are doing it individually. We have to find it the best way we can. I myself have experienced sitting in a chair, although you haven't seen that. One year when I was doing practice period Tassajara, my back was really painful whenever I would sit, really painful.

[39:37]

I don't have any legs. We have one in the community room. Huh? Back deck. The kid sits on the floor. Oh, thank you. And so I put that on the tile. I mean, the tiles are hard. And I just sat in there on my back and crossed my legs. And I could do that pretty fast. So that was my adaptation. So you have to find your adaptation, and have whatever works for you. If you're sitting in a cushion, then the ideal posture is easier to deal with. But even then, we always have to find our

[40:45]

We have to adjust to our body and its capabilities. So I always present the ideal, and then you know what the ideal is, and then you adjust yourself according to what's necessary for you. I mean, what can you do, you know? I'll do what I can for you, but then at some point, you're who you are and you do how you do. You wouldn't be sure of that. So, to exert the right kind of effort and at the same time to balance it out with the right kind of ease.

[41:58]

So that you're always finding the balance. The balance is what is always going on. How do I find that balance between effort and ease? rising up and letting things fall. Let it fall. Just like a tree. These are the roots. This is the crown. And the tree sways in the wind. But it all looks like this.

[42:41]

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