Ummon's Every Day Is A Good Day - 2

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good boy
ha
the saga of people here from sauce and swine if this is your first day of for consent center or you've been coming for a short time
welcome especially welcome
we're in the about to start fifth week of our six week spring practice period
and
my name is susan martin i'm practicing us that she so or the have student during the practice period
ha i've given three previous talks and two weeks ago on saturday i introduced the co on on that searching wrote she gave me to practice with
to study
and today i'm going to talk about that come on again
ah
i'm going to talk about it a little bit differently today as a result of reading several of suzuki roshi his lectures in which he refers to the on
in particularly
ha and as lecture he gave and nineteen seventy at tassajara on the chi
so the come on that i've been given us two months every day is a good day and i will say again that
i don't want to come across as taking this cohen lightly
it may be that we can talk about where the co on points but
it's hard to practice in the way that the cohen is encouraging us to practice
so you can have limited understanding of being with it for these four weeks
i'm
i think what it's pointing at is ah are divisive thinking and how to move away from our preferences and how to
find a deeper meaning to practice how to really pay attention to the actual moments of every day of our lives and that's a pretty hard thing to do so we redefine the word good every day
it's a good day to me every day is as it is and one thing suzuki roshi talks a lot about his produces the word actual practice real practice over and over i saw that were actual practice
not something we think we're doing or something were pretending to do or something we're imagining were doing but paying attention to our actual practice day by day hour by hour moment by moment and he says if we do that we begin to see that practice is continuous
and he uses that word continuous and what he means by that is that at any given moment of our day
big mind and small mind are working together the big mind is actually right there and small mind it's actually right there and in reading his lectures and also coming to the classes that surgeon roshi has been teaching on there
thursday nights we're reading tick not hands eight levels of my consciousness
suzuki roshi uses different language than tip that hand but it keeps striking me how how similar how similarly there on
their ideas are they may be expressing it differently but they're both talking about this continuous practice once we really get a taste of that even for a few moments get a glimpse of that we can see that our lives are so much deeper
offer than we think of in our ordinary thinking as we go around
evaluating things as good and bad and a following our preferences
so he says that we wake up in the moment
and realize that were were living in our actual real practice
he says when we realize that we're living continuously that were practicing continuously then there's no separation and good and bad become ah we don't want to use those words anymore to describe her experience
the
he says we're not trying to attain big mind and we're not trying to get rid of small mind they're right there working together so we fall down a lot in our lives and we stand back up and he says
as on the attitude or the feeling that we bring to practice is what's most important not how much or how little we do but the actual feeling the actual attitude that we bring to each activity in our law
lives is what matters most and that we should pay attention to our attitude we should pay attention to the way we feel about how are practicing in every activity we meet
and he says when we do that we begin to see how practiced informs our life and practice informs our decisions
he says the reason that we fall into this kind of divisive thinking especially in our practice here is because we separate practice and enlightenment and says we can't do that practice enlightenment go together like
the foot behind in the foot ahead in walking he says if you really practice our way enlightenment is there when you practice zazen without any idea of attainment there's actually enlightenment so they go together
some experiences come to mind when i ah consider what suzuki roshi is saying when i first came to practice a long time ago i had previously done a lot of work my hands i think at that time
maybe i was still making baskets and teaching basket making and i was considering not doing that anymore and i went to docusign and in our teachers to be a painter and i said to him
was it hard for you to give up painting and he said to me i didn't give up painting i stopped painting and he said you know when we practice in our practice
we're just expressing ourselves in another way
and i think at that time i have no clue what he was talking about i probably left and know wade they can he was playing with semantics and but those words stayed with me all these years and i revisited the many times it's only as
after
for many years of practicing that i realized in studying this column oh that's what even students pointing at their the same thing that this com is pointing at when we give ourselves completely to an activity then when it's finished sweeping hit ourselves
is completely to the next activity
ah
i guess it was about a year before my father died so he would have been ninety four and he was still living on its own he was still he played the violin all his life as a young man professionally and then after that he played for his own
enjoyment and played a lot and he was still playing on and i went over one day and he was playing the violin
he still had scores of music in his mind
the memorization was still right there he knew all the music but you know his body at ninety ninety four was falling apart and he had on arthritis in his shoulders and his hands and it wasn't getting the sound that is when it was used to produce
even even at ninety he could produce that sound but he was not getting the sound he was used to and so he was playing practicing i maybe was reading and he stopped and he put the vinyl
in in the case and shut the violin case and said in a very calm voice susan i want me to take the violin home and i want it a promise you'll take really good care of it and i don't want you to bring it back i'm finished the violin and didn't seem as
angry and it didn't seem frustrated and he didn't seem outwardly sad he was just finished and he never said another word of it about it and i didn't either
but we continued to talk about music and we continued to listen to music and we to continue to go to concerts and on that was that
i also remember
a friend of ours some years back who was diagnosed with cancer and she was fifty eight i think and i think she died at sixty and very early on after her diagnosis i remember she said to me i can already too
tell that there are people who have already got me buried there are people who are the way they look at me or the way they interact with me makes me feel really uncomfortable i don't like to be around those people because maybe this disease is going to kill me but i'm
very much alive right now and i play him to be alive as long as i can
and ah
you know i just think that
maybe as we get older and we confront some of those things on where this come on and is pointing becomes more easily accessible but i don't think we have to wait until we're in those situations to realize
the value of it is go on i think we just have to put her ourselves in the way of practicing this way that suzuki roshi is suggesting paying attention to
our actual practice moment by moment day by day
so i'm gonna read a little bit from on this lecture on the son of kind he's focused in on the very end of the sonder caught but i want to talk about is the very last long but i'm gonna read the three like
signs that he's on that he read and i'm reading the
you know i didn't bring the book because the transcript is so it's so raw and so the line and a way that's quite wonderful the way that suzuki roshi used english
is quite refreshing sunken read is slightly different even the translation and sound of kind and what reduced to on
reciting
the goal is neither far nor near if you stick to the idea of good or bad you'll be separated from the way by high mountains or big rivers seekers of the truth don't spend your time in vain so that last line seekers of the truth don't spend your time
i'm in vain i think we say i respectfully urge you who study the mystery do not spend your days and nights in vain

so suzuki roshi says to you know to pass day and night in vain does not mean only to goof off without doing anything it's that is may be one way of passing the day and night without doing anything but sec
the tone what second term means is more profound even though you work very hard sometime you may be passing your day and valuable time with doing any without doing anything if you don't know what you're doing
even though you work hard and tassajara you know and work period it doesn't mean it does not mean you are it does not always mean you are spending your time properly doing something properly
then what does it mean them if you go off your also you know wasting your time even though you work hard maybe you are you know spending your time in vain this may be a kind of co on for you
one thing he noticed when you read the transcript is the just about every other line there's a parentheses and it says he laughs and i've been reading these are several of these lectures over and over the last couple of weeks and it really struck me the other day you know
he laughs a lot and i thought you know our practice is really light
zam has a cutting of the head rap for being serious and stir and strict but if we're able to move to that place that he's talking about even for a few moments and we tastes what that jewel
it's like there's a lot of light and stare and it seems so obvious in the transcripts in the way that he laughs it doesn't come across as like nervous laughter that's kind of different but just as lightness out you know this is just our lives and less in
joy our lives and must pay intentions and let's not trash ourselves when we fall down with just stand back up and be proud that

so then he says every day is a good day this is a famous you know co on every day is a good day it does not mean don't make complaint even though he have some difficulties even though it's hot you shouldn't complain even though it's cold you shouldn't complain whatever happened
you shouldn't complain it does not mean something like that everyday is a good day what it means is don't spend your time in vain i think most people are spending their time in vain if he's saying no i'm always busy that it's a sure sign that he's spending his time
habitat africa
i think it was in one of the teas that someone started talking about busy-ness and certainly in our culture we can mostly probably all of us relate to
busy-ness and this person was saying that you know it's hard to commit to practice period because if i already have a busy schedule and i add more sobs and several events than my wife feels a little bit cry
easy and that's certainly true you know ah but the the beauty or the value practice period spiritus for us to try as best we can to put aside some of what we do in our busy lives as much as we can and then
and feel the ah
the effort of everyone doing that you know that kind of collective community effort is quite wonderful and then to watch what happens when we're able to intensify practice in that way
i certainly have a lot of trouble with their seen as you know
several past times that i enjoy and there's always somebody else was saying we live in the bay area and there's so much out there to take advantage of and so many things to do so it's a great practice to try to pare down and great challenge
he goes on most people do things you know with some purpose but even so i don't think they're doing things with the proper understanding of their activity when you do something with the usual purpose which is based on some evaluation or useful or useless or
good or bad or valuable or less valuable that is you know not perfect understanding you know if you do things whether it is good or bad successful or unsuccessful because you feel you should do them than that is real practice not because of buddha not because of yours
self or because of the truth or because of or for yourself or for others if you do things for the things that is true way
do things for the things what does that mean do thanks for the fence kind of means to me like no particular reason and on
can get our culture we have a lot of resistance to that idea of not having a reason
to do that sometimes people i hear people complain about some of our forms not understanding why do the forums that we do later on in the lecture on like and have read that part but there's a kind of question back and forth between students
and himself and someone brings add up like i want to understand why i'm doing it and suzuki roshi basically says just do it and the student argues of course and on suzuki roshi says it's because of your small minded
a nurse your small minded
i'm thinking that you want to know why and if you can put that in something bigger
you know if you can think of all the ancestors that came before us you can just do it because it's what we do than watch and see what happens

many and i cannot explain so well maybe i shouldn't explained some watch and he laughs you shouldn't do things just because you feel good or you shouldn't stop doing things just because you don't feel so good whether you feel good or bad there's something which you should do unless if you don't have this kind of
feeling if you don't understand this kind of feeling of doing things you know whether it is right or wrong or good or bad if you don't understand this kind of feeling you are not yet started our way in it's true sense

on
you know as i as i
continue to study the cohen and read these lectures and come to the classes i noticed that on
i was starting to feel some fear i guess fear arose around the idea of on
okay well what if something really terrible happens in my life like something much much greater than i've ever experience
i'm here i am talking about this column but how am i going to practice with that and the thing that came to my mind was if something happened to our daughter and i thought i just feel that i wouldn't be able to handle it if i would just
to completely fall apart than i would collapse
and then i thought well the cohens not saying not to do that
collins not saying that once i believe the corn or one side taste what it's like to practice that way that line for the rosy
and sometimes maybe we do need to follow pyre
but the on saying that practice is always right there
right with us available and whole thing
even those times when we fall apart
and on
i find that really comforting i find that a great relief actually to know that underneath everything on
big mind is right there
ready to support our practice

on the other hand
when
my father was maybe about two or three weeks before he died one day he said to me
susan are you going to fall apart when i die and i said absolutely not dad i am going to miss you a great deal but i'm not gonna fall apart and he was so relieved to concede in his face and his body something he didn't have to worry about
and i realized you know our practice sometimes our practice is able to support the people around us who are falling apart
and so it's kind of a mix isn't it we have
our fears or our
disappointments or our
anger or whatever edge we have and we have our ah our great effort and support it were able to offer one another and ah
that's kind of like the way small mind and big mind were together hand in hand

he says at sackey toes time there were you know naturally ah zen buddhism was very polemical the background of the teaching is always some discussion we're kind of fight especially in chinese buddhism you can see this
kind of context in their teaching there were many schools have sam
because they were involved in some kind of right teaching or wrong teaching or traditional teaching or some heresy they lost their main point of practice so that's why second dose as don't spend your time in vain sacrificing as
actual practice for some idealistic you know practice to attain some perfection of what kind of understanding is traditional understanding told by the sixth patriarch some tests and when i read this i felt such relief like oh we're just this step
eddie stream of people that do the same thing fall down and stand up this divisive thinking has been going on forever were not so special
and it's kind of a relief to realize south
without being you know caught by some idea some selfish understanding or practice or teaching to follow right practice is our way
i think we've been studying
with surgeon
on thursday nights and ah i wanted to leave a little time to ah let people speak or ask questions because my mind signers really an overlap of the class and co on i'd like to hear it
you have to say thank you very much
come surgeon
new nearest is okay rome she maybe there's something you'd like to send reuters appreciates your brilliant virgin have resorted to have
should have builds computers
on my buoyancy for the pounds
you can call the written once you give a worry too much to lose
well
you know regular trash the harm
it began to walk up the road you to repost you know which steep
the moon
you getting the second switch mag the go nowhere to go
you remembered as a photo to show or ministry where my fifties
the golden just be buoyant than the case worker who is not a problem remind starts with my researchers
the introduces since you some pretty murky to
patna the prisoner just weeks with corruption is released
i'm very my hundred in sometimes both at the same time now
he said if you think you should take our practice irritation that if you take too seriously
the problem
oh
brass inserts to take you rock i was taken by your father's comment that he was done playing the violin was he able to get to sound he wanted to have and i was thinking about the courage that they took because the section important thing to him then i would say about artist
aw who walked away from his clarinet playing as a peak of his career and he could have continued on but there's something is going to walk away from all the hubbub around that or what have you know and you'll be all have these these admirations and dreams in relationship and work and creativity and the be read
your point where we're not kidding
the sound or decision or or the thought that the what and i if you can say a little bit about how do we deserve between letting go of something with an upright feeling and kind of letting go are dropping something
resistance or frustration and to various infant come up in that world
well that's certainly a good question for anybody to contemplate and time
do now
i'm
ah are now to seems that and example i worked as a teacher and i'm not ready to retire but i've i've worked with our teachers him
hi opinion should have retired and don't and some of the way i think about it is i don't want to hold on to the work when i know it's time to pass it on to the younger crowd
ha
yeah that's kind of up a meeting place of having
finish used up everything there is to use up in that activity and being ready for the next activity i guess

kika you don't think about soldiers comment that my of stops us and you know something attract me knows i just know that a roller skating and i learned that when you turn your head to buy all of us
hey tyler to do the turn that you'd look in the direction where you want to turn in that the mind it's going to stop the body or or go the body is it became really provocative thing and non-slip and said that
because without the mind body just will go on the hill without being deterred but also he said i think that he gave himself some advice some little incurred in a he said to himself oh
oh stop thinking that if i just re of the mind the other you ready for it but are yeah our initial and the way he told him he didn't a little himself
right which we often do if we make a mistake or we can't do something that's kind of like the extra isn't it
yeah so if weekend
give ourselves encouragement
yeah so the mind can work both ways right yeah my both wings
yes i don't know your name and john hunter
i think i just wanted to say about using timing gay i have a busy doing a wonderful job delivering pizza and everyday i have the opportunity to face my own greed and you will and aversion whether i received tips or whether the
traffic is good etc and
the beauty of that practice though is that i can see my aversion coming up and i'm not wasting my time pretending it's not there
and yet i can deliver that pizza and go the next guy and maybe i've recovered in high
and see my newer version or maybe gratitude beginning of the other situation and recognize each moment whether i'm in a version for agree or ill will or otherwise carrying the dharma and not wasting my time
he and why for the ticket and protection
now traffic us up
having a challenging place to watch how we stay in the activity in i for years took my daughter to san francisco to dance classes after school on you know sometimes we would hit heavy traffic and i really don't like that and ah
all she would just say relax mom
well now and that was like that little reminder and i realized oh i'm spending time with her so we get stuck in traffic i can just say i can realize that you now and i i can appreciate the time we have together because soon enough she'll be go
gone
it it's hundred yeah my daughter said where's your stand now
where's sam hanna
not good for her
a enlisted into the matter your race
let them what's the use of this find that thinks and articulate and plans
does all these things
what's the use the base mind
you know where
working hard it letting go of
what these mental activities that get in the way of practicing
this every moment
pretend to be friend that mind you know
like some kind of juvenile delinquent
is that how you think
i try to provoke the
real for all time from
i think oh
what things struck me the other night the class is like it's not going to go away
and so we have some choices about how to work with it
and down in a maybe it's kind of like a neighbor that isn't your favorite neighbor and you know it's not gonna go away
no
you don't have anything very positive to say about the
well i just think that there's a
you can do
you're talking about the eat you're talking about man of throw you're talking about the ego
well i guess so
and on
you know we can develop a kind of relationship with the ego such that ah maybe the ego is afraid
they were going to move into that realm of living are actual lives and leave the eager behind
you know and so it fights hard
and it's tricky in it's always trying to talk us out of
ah
those ways that we're moving into that realm so i just think we have to find some way to be friend it
two on
talk to it to ah
you know because
when big mine is working
ah
mama's moves into wisdom
somehow we have to
help behind us realize that minus is included
what do you think
have you work with it
when when there's that painful struggle and i i seek your advice is really helpful
questions you know i get paid for being a sinker
so that's something i've
have is a continual
so that's why living at least
have you been to think their needs and arrest said that even to baker needs a rest
peter
this is very topic
i generally think that movie viruses really trying to good care of and old world and know perhaps we can have some gratitude for their and at the same time
there's this there's a there's a kind of self importance that goes it's kind of like that that neighbor you were talking about really trying to watch out things to take care of things but somehow it just getting under way
so somehow convinced that around
a importance way this kind of started to feel to us are very
have you get from there dead
maybe we can just say thank you
thanks but no thanks
yes is it hannah is
aflac bottled up from at as that question is that they say it's the price we pay for consciousness
and down and that that i also really like this idea at ten
then if shifted into his to a
are you more friendly companion of our consciousness

seems like it's inclusive that you know that the wisdom includes it hasn't pushed months away clubs him
he now has embraced as it or hold center however however you can envision it smart like it's thrown it away
it is
it keeps it within
so in that way
maybe com sit down maybe you can save something more
it is my third novel
so i thought was one of the to path
he will the parents day with a very easy to get my tv show didn't know roughly what you've grown
after
this is just too retina
right
not for now is a for
do you know at first when you started talking to you were talking about when we're when we practice and you several times instead suzuki suzuki he said when we practice and i've started thinking about that when we also practice with small nine and we practice with big mind and small mind like when i decided i'm gonna have a pint of ice cream for day
enter the just a small mind and then i bite this i'm going to have vegetables i could find a see that as big mine and it's not that fun
and it's kind of like both of them have consequences and both of 'em there's there's fall out from each one and i'm just i'm going to live with the fallout from me to one and it's kind of like am i going to choose the fall out from it with a pint ice cream or the fall out from vegetables and i see
think that when we're when when linda said that while i'm thinking and i'm get canister i'm still practicing just a small mind and the consequences are going to be hell and it's that it's still there and maybe that's the thing is that it's helpful because i'm still practicing it's
just that i'm going to i've learned to be aware that yeah you're going to do this and there's only a price and that sort of monessen wisdom and thing that kinda sorta
i am a i'm still and when i'm a nice cream as well meat vegetables on guess still practicing right what comes to mind his works and zucchini or she since about the attitude whatever your added to this about what we're doing in the actual moment that's what's most important so it
if i make a mistake or i do something on wholesome or i offend you in some way then i'm caught by small mind but then if i feel bad about it or reflect or review
what i've done and even apologize then big mine has moved in and we're always going back and forth we're not getting one or dropping the other we're moving and
there was a line where he said
as soon as you are already reflecting about you're wrong deed then you're in that next actual moment and what you've done or said is over
so move on
and when i read that it made me just realized how easy it is for us to hang on to
whatever it is were hanging on to and his point is ah the actual practice is
realizing that practices continuous
when i see the striker is up
so it's probably time to stop and thank you all very much