Remembrances of Suzuki-rôshi

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BZ-01289A
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Addressing One's Buddhanature, Saturday Lecture

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Morning. Today, I've been asked to talk about our ancestor, our recent ancestor, Suzuki Roshi. During this aspects of practice period, in order to bring this out, the ancients put together a lineage of Buddhas before Buddha. And in our recognition, in our chanting, we say the seven Buddhas before Buddha, because seven Buddhas before Buddha simply means all those Buddhas, countless Buddhas who preceded Buddha. So Buddhas appear not just in certain places at certain times, they're always appearing.

[01:01]

Buddhas are appearing in every age. So this is kind of the meaning of lineage. And a Buddha will appear, or many Buddhas actually, in a certain age, and that's like the Buddha who makes the teaching or the practice available to that age. So Shizuki Roshi is like the Buddha who appeared for us and allowed us to rise up to that occasion. He didn't really do anything, frankly, but he created the space for the practice to appear for us. So we call him the ancestor. So there's this whole lineage of ancestors.

[02:04]

My generation is the 91st from Shakyamuni according to this system, which doesn't mean that, you know, and it doesn't mean that Suzuki Roshi was the 89th or 90th person. It simply means in that generation. So when we look at this lineage, we say, well, and read the stories of the old ancestors, the Indian ancestors are somewhat vague, because the further back you go in time, the more misty it gets. I think that, my feeling is that the way the ancestors lineage was developed was looking back in time and saying, well, this one fits, and that one fits, and those ancestors whose practice fits with the authentic dharma.

[03:11]

So it's kind of a made-up lineage, but it's not made up of, out of our head, they're elements. And those ancestors, I'm sure, did exist. but the stories around them are kind of made up out of certain elements. And the more elaborate the story, the more made up it is. But that's good because it's not like we're being fed something, but the stories of the ancestors are the germ for us to add something or to create something out of our response. So sometimes scholars will think that all this is baloney, and in a certain sense it is, because things should go in a linear way that way, from up to down, but actually it goes from down to up, as well as from up to down.

[04:20]

So the myth is always more accurate than the fact. The myth is what's important. Myth doesn't mean untruth, it means the truth that allows us to understand something. It's the story which is created around an act that allows our response brings forth a response from us. So we pay respect to the ancestors in that way. In China, family is very important. Everybody has to belong to a family in China. So Buddhist family was the same. When Buddhism came into China from India, the family people were getting upset because here were these monks, Chinese young men becoming monks and not working for the family, not getting married, not creating a family, not tilling the fields, and they were very angry.

[05:45]

So it changed, Buddhism changed in China and became more Chinese and family the family lineages in Buddhism became important, and also for legitimacy of one kind or another. And when Buddhism came to Japan, Zen anyway, of course Chan was developed as a form of Buddhism in China, and then Zen continued that in Japan. And so lineage became very important in Japan as well, family lineage. There's a Japanese term for the feeling of our practice, menmitsu no kafu, which means family way, family style, ancestral style.

[06:54]

that which has been handed down. So in our practice in America, we still retain that influence. So this has gone through three or four countries in 2,500 years of handing down the teaching. and it being transformed in whichever country it comes to. And our transformation will be unique, and our society will add something to our influence, our practice, and our practice will influence our society. So, when someone becomes ordained, either at lay ordination or priest ordination, they receive what's called a Kechi Miyaku, which means a blood vein document which connects the person who is ordained to all the ancestors, and one becomes part of that family.

[08:31]

This is what it looks like. This is the circle of emptiness. And then Shakyamuni Buddha, all the Indian ancestors, all the Chinese ancestors, all the Japanese, both Rinzai and Soto schools, because after Dogen, Dogen felt that he received the transmission from both the Rinzai and Soto schools. And then it culminates here in Suzuki Roshi, our ancestor. And then your name is down below. My name is after him. So, And this red line is like the blood vein that runs through all the ancestors and through you. And then back up, all the ancestors are standing on the head of the following one.

[09:32]

And then you're standing on Shakyamuni's head because this big red line that comes up, back up. So it's a circle. So that's the feeling. So in our practice, we're always considering that our practice has a strong foundation. It's not just coming out of nowhere. Even though it's coming from emptiness, it's not just coming out of nowhere. It's the effort of many, many practitioners to 2,500 years. So we have this wonderful basis for our practice.

[10:34]

And so then when we verify teachers, it's based on this experience So Suzuki Roshi, our ancestor, recent ancestor, endured the Second World War. He actually went to Manchuria as a priest during the Second World War. He grew up in Yaizu, a small fishing village, which actually has the second largest fishing, fish, store in Japan, a wonderful place to visit. And he studied with some good people in Japan, but he was just a country priest, really, but a very unusual person.

[11:51]

I think just after the war, there were a lot of mendicants roaming around Japan. You know, the country was kind of devastated, and people were, a lot of crazy people. People had gone, you know, really disparate people. And he invited anybody to come. Monks were wandering around. And one monk that he invited was very disturbed, and he killed his wife, killed Suzuki Roshi's wife. And that was, I think, a big turning point in his life. And he also was a houseboy to a woman who was the, I think, an American woman who taught English

[13:00]

to the emperor or somebody? Yeah. And so they had created a relationship and he learned about America from her and to speak English and she learned a lot from him. So when it came time, I don't know if he was actually thinking about coming to America or not. I think it may have been in his mind, but when he was about 50, 60, almost 60, 50-something, there was an opening for a priest. at the Sokoji Temple in San Francisco on 1881 Bush Street, which was the old synagogue, one of the oldest synagogues in San Francisco.

[14:02]

The Japanese congregation in America, who were in the concentration camp in America, saved their money and when they got out they bought this synagogue and it became Sokoji Temple. And they had a few priests there from time to time, but they needed a priest in 59. So somehow Suzuki Roshi answered that and came over to be their priest. And he would sit zazen every day. The congregation of Sokoji was just like a church. It was a Soto school, but the Soto school in Japan had kind of degenerated into a church rather than Zen practice. But he liked sitting Zazen. He was in the phone book and people would call him up on the phone.

[15:08]

There were people interested in Zen, but there was no Zen in America. And he would say, well, come on over. I sit at 545 at that time in the morning and you're welcome to come. So little by little, people started coming and they would sit with him. And then they moved into the room on the top floor, which became the Zendo. And that was about 59. And little by little, practice started. And 62 or something like that, they had their first session. And I came in 1964. And Zen Center had just been incorporated, and there were maybe 25, 50 students. And it was wonderful. It was so difficult to practice.

[16:09]

At that time, people didn't know how to sit very well. I mean, it was hard to sit. When you begin to sit, practice, it's hard to do that. But I was really engaged. I knew this is what I wanted to do and I just did it. But it took me for many years. I had a lot of pain in my legs and hard to sit still. And he was always encouraging us. When I think about the characteristics of Suzuki Hiroshi, he was very calm, very settled, very nice, nice person, but very, strict, but not strict in the way that we usually think of strict. He wasn't domineering or something like that. It's just that he knew exactly what to do and he was always encouraging us beyond what we thought we could do.

[17:17]

Like we'd be sitting Zazen And we were always waiting for the end of the period. When is this gonna end? And then you'd hear the door open and he'd walk out of the room. And then you think, did he forget about us? 10 minutes later, he'd walk back in. Well, maybe he's gonna ring the bell now. Shuffle around, maybe walk out again. It was great, wonderful, the way he put it all on us. And we didn't move. And we just had to get down to the reality of life. And that's the way he taught us. And I can remember him saying, during Sashin, he'd say,

[18:23]

Don't chicken out. He loved to use these kind of terms, you know. Don't move. Don't chicken out. So that was his strictness. His strictness was in just keeping us in line without being harsh or without being... It was all up to us, you know. He didn't force anything on us. He just gave us this practice in which we had to come up to it ourselves. So it's a really unique teaching, really unique way of teaching in that he handed it to us and we had to do it. And if we didn't do it right, it was okay too. Don't move doesn't mean that you can never move. But you just keep going. If you fall off, you just keep going.

[19:25]

Fall off, you just keep going. Always encouraging us. Never heard him say, get out. Well, he would say, get out, but he didn't mean it. So, the main thing that he was, I would say the main point of his teaching was to let go of ego. Don't be egotistical. Don't be self-centered. He used to go around and hit us all the time with his stick when we were sitting Zazen. Everybody loved it. They loved being hit by him because it was like being kissed. The only thing he would criticize us for is being egotistical or self-centered.

[20:47]

And also, to not think of our practice as something special. Everything in the universe is practicing Zazen together. There's nothing special about this, and there's nothing special about you as a Zen student. You shouldn't think of yourself as doing some special practice. You're not special people doing some special practice. It's just, this is the practice that is being practiced by the universe, and when you sit Zazen, you merge with that. in a way that is not egotistical or self-centered. Zazen is simply letting go of self and realizing that the whole universe is your true body. So he didn't think of himself as a special person either.

[21:56]

He didn't think I am the patriarch or I'm the big teacher or something like that. He was just a very ordinary, plain person, but this ordinariness was what was so special. Then this nothing special, everything was special. Nothing stood out against anything else as being more special. So you could appreciate everything that you meet as something to take care of and respect. So he could see, you know, everybody was wondering, like, what is this special quality that he had? And it wasn't really a special quality at all. It was simply, seeing the true nature of each person, addressing everyone as Buddha.

[23:01]

Actually, when he spoke to you, he addressed the Buddha in you, the Buddha nature. And that's what everybody responded to. So everybody felt that they were special without being special. Also, he would emphasize non-duality. Big mind, non-duality, and emptiness. Big mind is like the basis. Shikantaza is like the practice. And non-duality is the truth or the reality. Shikantaza, it means just doing without gaining mind, without trying to promote something or getting something from it.

[24:17]

The reason we practice is to practice. And what you get from practice is what you do. without expecting anything, just simply being, arising afresh on each moment. That's shikantaza, just arising fresh on each moment as a new person without the baggage of what came before. Of course, you can't, we come to this moment based on our past. But nevertheless, we arise fresh on this moment and include past and future. But the most important point being, this moment, without desiring anything, trying to get some place, or acquiring something,

[25:19]

So just to let our life force bloom, so to speak. And this is what Zazen is. Zazen is just pure existence. So he never deviated from this understanding, and that was his strictness. He was very strict not to fall into dualistic thinking, very strict not to fall into compromising his understanding. He also talked about ordinary mind and Buddha mind, that we think of ourselves as ordinary people, but actually we're also Buddha.

[26:35]

And then comes the idea, well, I don't feel like Buddha, I just feel like an ordinary person. It's like, my understanding is Buddha, we're both Buddha, both Buddha and ordinary person. And we have these two feelings. But Buddha is, when we start to practice, when we give our desire over to practice, It's way-seeking mind instead of desire. And way-seeking mind is Buddha mind. When we put our effort into practice, we're raising Buddha mind. And Buddha leads our ordinary mind.

[27:38]

Buddha mind leads ordinary mind. Buddha leads person, ordinary person. And then Buddha and ordinary person merge as one person, as one Buddha. When we have some idea about Buddha, that's not Buddha. When we have some idea about ordinary, that's not ordinary. To just do the practice without thinking about Buddha or ordinary, then practice brings forth Buddha, and Buddha initiates practice. So there's no gap, there's no duality, there's no subject, no object. Just ordinary is Buddha and Buddha is ordinary. Nothing special. One of the things that Suzuki Roshi emphasized a lot was composure.

[29:10]

You should always find your composure. So what is composure? Composure is to find that self or find that quality within yourself that can't be moved. They can't be upset, can't be turned over, and it's not some thing. And this is what we find in Zazen. This is what I was always talking about. The quality of Zazen is composure. No matter what comes up, you can't be overturned by it. And you go deeper and deeper until you find the ballast point.

[30:13]

So the ballast point is heavy, like on a boat, like the keel of a boat. The boat can go over this way, go over that way, but the boat doesn't turn over. In the heaviest seas, the boat always finds its composure. It doesn't fall apart. This is what he was always insisting on, finding your composure. You can't do that. You can't sit comfortably in Zazen all day without finding your composure. But this permeates our whole life, this composure. It's not just something when you're sitting. He also emphasized composure in our daily life, in all of the aspects of our life.

[31:19]

Whatever we meet, we should meet it with composure. Then we can deal with anything that comes up. And this comes up in our life and in our living and in our dying as well. How we live our life completely and thoroughly on each moment. Living your life, he always said, living your life little by little. Zen practice is living your life little by little, moment by moment. The one thing that makes the most difference is this moment and how we live on this moment. And then when we live on this moment with composure, then we move into the next moment with composure. So this moment is the basis for the next moment. And then he didn't talk so much about dying, but he did talk about breath, breathing, as inhaling, we come to life, and exhaling, we let go.

[32:40]

So my understanding of that is that each moment of, each breath is a moment of birth and death. We experience birth and death on each moment. When we inhale, we come to life. This is called inspiration. And then when we exhale, it's called expiration. Inspiration is to come to life. Expiration is to let go. But letting go, Totally living our life within birth and death is one complete continuous life. Continuous life, which includes birth and death. And we experience it on each moment.

[33:45]

On each breath, it's there. So maybe, do you have any questions? Laurie? How do you practice with Suzuki Roshan now? Well, I think that I embody, I just feel that he's inside my body in some way. So you remember him, you think of him a lot. Oh yeah, my whole... You know, people sometimes, when Suzuki Roshi died, it's not like I try to be like him, I try to be like myself. But people said, you know, like, well, do you think you need another teacher? I didn't feel like I needed another teacher because I felt like I embodied his teaching.

[34:50]

And I always refer to his teaching And that's the basis. When you say that, do you mean words or something else? Well, attitude. And just, you know, when I was with him, I practiced with him for seven years. And I just merged my practice with his practice. So there wasn't like, you know, something separate, actually. I really felt like I merged my practice with his practice. Not that I could come up to his practice, but it's the basis of my practice is that merging with him. So it's in my bones. It's in my bones, but I always refer to him. And I remember. I don't remember very much, but I do remember that. Many of the stories about the ancestors relate to enlightenment experiences.

[36:03]

Yes. Did Suzuki Roshi ever share any of his experiences? Well, that's an interesting point. He didn't think much of enlightenment experiences. We have enlightenment experiences all the time, and that's good. That's all. People really make so much of enlightenment experiences that it becomes a kind of travesty on enlightenment. And then, you know, when you read the stories of the ancestors and their enlightenment experiences, these are myths, and they're meant to make a point. like so-and-so came up to so-and-so and said this, and then the teacher said, well, you're my successor. Well, I think that's rare, because somebody can have good understanding and express something in a way that sounds like good understanding, but what about the rest of their life?

[37:15]

It's usually someone who is a successor to a teacher. It's someone that's practiced with a teacher for a long time, and they know each other very well. And when that experience that they have, something that triggers an experience comes, it's after a long period of practicing together. And it's kind of like the culminating point. But even so, you know, someone, Suzuki Roshi used to say, we should have an enlightenment experience moment by moment. You should have an enlightenment experience every moment. So there are these special, you know, experiences, which we term, quote unquote, enlightenment experience. And there are those, you know, those experiences which open your mind and transform you and so forth.

[38:20]

But if you keep looking for those, then you feel that the experiences you're having now don't amount to much. If you want to have an enlightenment experience, you have to realize that what's happening to you now is wonderful. That's why Dogen says, practice is enlightenment. Enlightenment is practice. One moment of enlightenment, one moment of practice is one moment of enlightenment. But I don't feel enlightened. I practiced for one moment and I didn't feel enlightened. So there's a difference between enlightened practice and understanding that is enlightened practice. That's the hardest part. is realization. Enlightenment is not so difficult. Realization is more difficult. A lot of people practice enlightened practice but they don't have realization.

[39:26]

But in the 12 years that he was, 10 years or whatever since Linzer started and he was alive, he must have done something, sometimes saying, well, this is going in the wrong direction, or what? Not much. He gave his talks. You said it's aura that influenced people. I don't know. He gave his talks. And he had his students. He didn't create Sokochi, that was already there. And some people said, it'd be great if we had a monastery. And he said, well, yeah, that would be good. But he didn't create it. The students did that. He was the inspiration behind everything, right?

[40:48]

That's what he was. He was the teacher and he was the inspiration, but he didn't do all that stuff. He just went along with it. Tassajara was Richard Baker and the students, and of course his input and so forth, Suzuki's input and his okay and his inspiration. But he allowed us to do everything. None of that would have happened. He would have just been there. If people hadn't come and done stuff, he would have just been the priest at Sokoji. He didn't get out and lead the troops. He just inspired people to do the stuff. and he used to come over to Berkeley and Zendo was in different people's, you know, houses.

[41:57]

On Monday morning he would come over to Berkeley and then he would go one day a week to Los Altos, one day a week to Mill Valley, Bill Kong, and so he'd come over on Monday morning. We'd sit Zazu in and he'd we'd give a talk, we'd have breakfast, and it was very nice. And then he asked me to find a place, and I found a place on Dwight Way. But I did that, he didn't do it. And then I started developing the practice. I said, well, is it okay if we sit, we were sitting in the morning, I said, is it okay if we sit in the afternoon too? He said, yeah, you can do that. So we started sitting in the afternoon too. And then we started working on the place and he said, you can do whatever you want. I don't think so. Not really. I don't remember any bad ideas. The only thing that he didn't want us to do was become egotistical.

[43:03]

or self-centered or dualistic. Those are the only things that I think that he didn't want us to fall into. Otherwise, everything we did was fine because we were doing it from that understanding. Everything went pretty smoothly. Did he drive a car? No. We used to drive him to Los Altos, and people would drive him here and there. Somebody would drive him to Berkeley. No, he didn't drive. That's another thing. People just drove him around. He would just, wherever he was, I have to tell you, he just was wherever he was, and he was fine with wherever he was. You know, Suzuki Roshi, when he came, he knew a little English and he stumbled around with it, you know, but it wasn't very long before he could speak really well and more eloquently than anybody else.

[44:23]

He was very eloquent. You know, his English wasn't perfect, but he was very eloquent. No, there was no language barrier at all. He spoke really well. Alan? Let me go back to another part of our question. Did you have any difficulty with him? Well, you know, that's a good question. I never had any difficulty with him, but sometimes he would be angry, but not very often.

[45:28]

Sometimes he would get angry. He would get angry at people, and occasionally he got angry with me. I don't remember exactly why. You know, he was not judgmental. He was not a judgmental person. And he was very patient. In Japan, he wasn't so patient, but when he came here, he became very patient. And he would just wait for things to develop. And I remember, you know, everybody was smoking. It was the age when people were still smoking. I don't know if you've experienced, many of you may have experienced that age, but everybody's house had ashtrays. When you were a kid in school, you made ashtrays. But he'd say, well, when you're ready to quit smoking, you will.

[46:38]

He just had that kind of patience. But his suggestion, that was his suggestion. And you knew that his suggestion had some weight. But it was up to you, it wasn't up to him to tell you to stop. And he wasn't judging you as bad because you smoked or because you did various things. People would sometimes have sex out of line and so forth. He was not judgmental. I remember there was one guy who was a womanizer and he was proud of it. And he asked Suzuki Roshi, well, what do you think of that Suzuki Roshi? And he said, well, as long as you remember the name of each woman, So, you know, people came in, students came in as hippies and all kinds of walks of life.

[47:58]

And as they entered the practice, there was transformation. And they became Zen students, and monks, and priests, and lay people, and they just became transformed, little by little. Of course, you know, some people more than others. Everyone according to who they were. He didn't try to get everybody to be the same. He recognized that each person is different. Each person is in a different place. Each person is in a different realm of development. And you can't compare. He said, don't compare yourself with anybody else. So he treated each person as an individual, as who they were. Didn't try to force people into some box. Is Buddha nature particular in every person? Say that again? Is Buddha nature particular to every person?

[49:00]

To every person? Yeah. Yeah. And the same.

[49:04]

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