Public Dokusan 10

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hey i'm looking to find surgeon roshi
my dear oh they're york
okay my sugar or soda rosie
wonderful it's to see you
oh so
my topic his composure
i am
it's something that i sometimes find a sitting zazen i'd try and composure to our composure finds me so i'm interested in for though maintaining some sort of composure off the cushion and i came across
but not always so ah
oil something that suzuki roshi wrote about calmness of mind and
i like this i'm sure i'll read it he says first practice smoothly exhaling
then inhaled
calmness of mind is beyond the end of your exhalation
if you exhale smoothly without even trying to exit you're entering into the complete perfect calmness of your mind
you do not exist anymore
when you exhale this way then naturally your inhalation will start from there all that fresh blood bringing everything from outside will pervade your body you are completely refreshed
i like that a lot
oh and
i find it it's it's true i really enjoy the the exhalation is my favorite part reflect breathing exhalation until the next part then l
but i find when i'm off the cushion
oh and something unsettles me it i don't go to my breath i don't try to find my breath
oh
do something else because me how for example just a minor thing that ruffled me a bit i was in line at trader joe's outside to do some shopping and everyone was moving forward
as somebody got a car at the front and there were these lines every six feet and suddenly the line stopped and the gentlemen and trying to make a turn round and said
please maintain your six foot distance sir
and
i was maybe a photo realized as i didn't say anything i backed up to my line he turned rush
but what i find helps me is depakote my initial reaction was what are you talking about we're just moving at a i'm going to get to where i'm supposed to be don't worry and then another wave of well the jerk
to talking to me like that used like thirty years younger i'm an old guy in oh c'mon gimme a break
and then
almost media i say don't say anything
ah but my composure was taken away for a little bit and then i also you know
forget about it will forget about it in and a better go which i did but i thought it was a good instance of how for me
ah not becoming overly reactive sometimes system the best just not say anything for and then i can find my composure after watch but please be your thoughts oh i'm two things come to mind
would say is that am
sometimes i'll say i forgot my date measured
check
a everything i do to say thank you and to take a step back and then i have my composure by letting out myself
that's good it is a i don't know that i'm that quick sometimes anna with a comeback like that
anyway to keep my and she's not to say anything is it is a good practice for me as long as they don't think anything
ha a ash yeah
while some from so i think it's hard not
the thoughts come by the reaction
and so i don't know that i cannot think anything amiss the but
but yeah i think first not to say anything then not to think anything when i'm not thinking anything i'll know i upvote
hush money but yeah
i've moved along
let's go do i think are best is not to defend yourself yeah the first thing we think i was defending myself i am not what do you mean i have the right last already but if the second thing is to
and said well maybe he's right
did we know he's younger than me
you know and he was right
we were technically technically he's got it for you to argue it now or you lose your composure yeah losing your composure bins defending islam ah
ah yeah i didn't know the out of that that's really unnecessarily yeah yeah bug good opportunity to forget yourself
yeah yeah yeahs like a gift and why did of course again did you for your gift that's why when somebody criticizes you know i say thank you any merchant bow him from
yeah
oh my thank you so much as great to see you you can thank you
ross your next okay thank you sir john roshi
at the perimeter of the khashoggi which translates prices patience is a good practice to help maintain was equity and i've been thinking about patience and also tolerance and i'm wondering if you
could say a little something about the difference between the two of patience and tolerance and how they inform one another and support each other
look i would say patience is the ability to be where you are

our tolerance is to a except that which bothers you
that's the difference according to surgeon
so it's patients doesn't mean reading presenting right so as kind of state of mind
patience is the ability to be where you are so this is a dozen is the ultimate patients ah
and tolerance
at the same time
because you accept whatever it is
that is presented to you moved by moment and it's the same time
ah you
you are just where you are
it seems like patience is a a place of as you say acceptance and a stillness a deep stillness and then
if something arises that your tastes then there's this
ah intention to or desire to tolerate or bear with yeah say yes yeah right to bear with us told lose more like to pair with or with that's helpful no thank you very much so georgie
susan marvin are your the next questioner please don't beat yourself
don't read certain roshi i can't see you
are you was speaker new i see that you
the surgeon roshi it's good to see you think you
am
in our practice is not about giving up it's about letting go
when i'm
i don't know it seems like ever since the pandemic started we've been watching you letting go letting go letting go it's the ironed us a lot so i wonder if you have something to say about the difference between letting go and
giving up
no
well would you like go give up
i'm a go
a bot builder and they do have several meetings
you know an inner am
no
she come
do often when when you register the commentaries and the searchers
the commentator was ill
no throw away and throw away this throw away that so instead of throwing away and everything you throw i go someplace like so why throw something away by hit somebody so
ah let him go with simply walking away or not picking up
in a it is really hard
to move around without picking up
well
and illiterate don't let go of desire don't don't throw away desire don't cut off desire
the book's always they cut out desire and on credit offered the route which can damage or sprouts come up but actually his desire is so important we can't live without it
that means don't get caught by anything so letting go means don't pick up
pick up would pick up watch have
and that harmful
oh and letting go
instead of throwing away you simply the go
that's that susan
just like whoa
walkaway don't pick it up
but use it
should i let it use you
would you say that as accepting things as it is now accepting things as it is nothing lacking nothing extra that is going
thanks as they are things as is you can go and what else
hmm
come when the guy in front of you
chess you know yet your cookery crowding me in the line know step back up for it
the simply not go the more back of flint
and thank thank you s letting go
it's called renunciation it's an older an old old term renunciation
laughing helps what does laughing while they are laughing thank goodness for laughing right now so even if you don't see like laughing you can practice laughing well hum you know to come and hung is to talk about have smile
while
yeah
and you mentioned humor
humor is
we tend to think of humor is bidding twenty
but just their the humours
which are are hug
what the humans owner
kind of like am
settling into
i'm a good humor or
and a bodily humor or
yeah humor over a body and her mind yeah and so when we don't let ourselves get too upset
does equanimity
and so-so
ah
no the question i don't know i forgot but i'm i'm always going to appreciate your good humor yes that's it i mean that's what i enjoy probably most of all is laughing with you
is my that my good humor
yes the urge the ability to flick over himself and participated what's going on
so how you relate to finishes by letting go of yourself
then everything that everything is your friend it's to something else but
years you're connecting with your surroundings and which whoever you're dealing with
just a little bit in good humor relax with people and then you can flow with things
sure to not a good way to forget the cells that the that's it
not defending anything i

going you think about all the turmoil of the world so much of it is
just a trend in defense department of defense but the department of defense because the department of offense
so it's always a battle
so where'd young where is your department of defense and where's your department through ah fridge
it's kind of a privileged place where in though isn't it i mean when we say there's nothing lacking in nothing at extra and that
that doesn't enlight that's it enlightenment
that's are many people that's not true the threat because the knowledge that they don't realize their enlighten or their situations is full of suffering i mean we have that now theater in l boil down to himself
drought boil them to ego
phones
all the prompted the personal problems we have our own self-centeredness
just just trace it to its source

greed is also known ill will and shortsightedness delusion
is the time go
so renunciation we not listed beijing dharma
let go all these questions are related to region
lol i didn't really have a question garry asked me if i would ask the question but this is pretty good thank you for all the good reminders know and thank you for your good humor
loose and i hope you have many more days of good help i you
when i was a kid we used it a good humor man used to come around and and
filling an ice cream
i remember that yeah like i've said no punishments
thank you sgt version or the
a jedi's kenny your the next questioner please on beat yourself
oh can you really sure i a higher died and the ahem
there are weapons it together a long time
have questions
over those years
what is the question i sheriff asked you

arms
lift dumped me
fireplace
find a job in vienna
a thank you so much sir
murder
a james please meet yourself and jerry is the next questioner where are you i don't know you tell me although you are
so did i'm going to ask you when i ever ask you about to situations
and not to be audacious one has to do with a story about the buddha and the other has to do with me
so there's a story in a categories book returning to silence about our the buddha
ah learning that a king from a neighbouring province was going to come and invade his his town and his his area and
so the buddha sat under a dead tree
and the king was coming and buddha just sat under the dead tree and the kings came upon him and said why are you sitting under the dead tree
and the buddha said i feel cool even under the dead tree because it's growing near my native country
so the king was very impressed now the king was very impressed with his piece ah and he's he was totally disarmed and turned around and went back
but then one of his counselors
ha said to the king you're crazy that that the king from this other country a insulted you we have to get vengeance have to come back and conquered at territory so the king came back and the buddha was still sitting under the dead tree
but this time the king just went right past the buddha
and caught and conquered the country can't conquer the province so it seems to me it's like a fifty fifty chance sitting under the tree right
it's kind of like well i sit under the tree on the buddha you know the i as a when i live with countries saved i sit under the tree it's not saved
so
still here we are
and it reminds me of a question i once asked you a long time ago and chose and show son
so
ah i was in a kayak
and the currents were coming
and battering my boat
and i was stuck i was terrified
ah and i didn't know what to do
and so i i started off by just sitting under the dead tree so to speak and being really peaceful
but then i realized that i needed to paddle as fast as i could to get out of this crazy the crazy seems so do i just sit under the dead tree oh or is there a time to act now
are living in crazy sees the you're always sitting under the truth
his lusciously you're not sitting under the tree present student
and the fact that you suddenly felt that you didn't know what to do
and you and you set just so true love you allowed you to escape
was the basis for years good
so this is sitting under the tree
doesn't preclude acting
no it isn't getting out the tree
and oliver activity
if you not doing that your nose in instrument
some time sometimes we we say you know some doesn't just said
so i think it's important you know for me up
the said this is sitting has to involve sometimes discernment and skillful action that comes comes from that
no you're always at the base
and soon as you live as soon as you leave your seat last
never leave your seat no matter what you're doing
the was always the place where you are no matter where you are
so when you say i don't know what to do
the highest kind of wisdom i must be really i
mountain to do it or know what to do needed well i'm going to do than from i know what to do
men simply comes up for you yeah
no allow all of your experience to come up
and can't help you

that that is that requires a lot of a deep faith well so yeah but what's the word new
nothing
and everything and everything because every situation feels new
ah going to my horror one more horror a day ah feels like a one more one too many
sitting under the tree
you know it also
antimony going it is bhagavad gita
yeah
so the winds and the the winds the hurricanes
under the dead tree and something and wait
well we talked about reading do
what is waiting
will these kids don't like not to lose your composure

and blue to be able say i don't know
and then you open your bag that's that's that's the key to opening your mind
i don't know
which is the ultimate truth
an extremely humbling

excuse me fuji roshi before the next questioner i'm hearing of a somebody talking it may be lived in the background note the addressed her to move to another room perhaps live
who's the door

okay
home practice thank you so much
oh mitch greer please i meet yourself and ask a question of zojirushi oh my god
zojirushi i'm so i'm so grateful i get to speak to you ah you know i don't have a big questions and in this is the whole thing just like preparing to talk to your is just been so great for me but the only thing i have to say is like i'm starting a painting pract
dislike pretty seriously
i wondered if there's anything you can share the you know about zen and painting well before i was doing when i was doing pages
i did not know that i did not know that i think i've read something in your bio about it but i didn't do that much i didn't do that much research you know so that was a painter ford
good period of time in so your question is
the advice
not not really just like is there a zen to painting or is there nothing like the sauce and explore yeah seriously depending
oh is
when you are painting
oh that's your whole world
so you entered into the painting
and
the painting is is a total experience
that that's the basis
it will take many forms but
oh

when i was doing painting a home it was
avoid they called not object of pity
and so there was no precedent for good for what the painting much
yeah
to to allow
the colors and shapes to harmonize
and and the way to me to allow them to harmonize is that it comes from your guts
then from your hand and from your heart but
the harmony comes from the guts
yeah and am year they're kind of
get inspiration and fell the inspiration
don't be too critical
have fun
awesome thank you surgeon he wasn't the first half an eye open separate okay thank you saw it again
ah rogoff would you please i meet yourself and as such a roshia question
right gone so erosion
i
ah
ah maybe a lotta out on we just one second a mich could you please hold authority
okay okay regard please continue
i was thinking about surgeon this arm
i was trying to see if ah
i can catch my own our tendencies and ah
ah kind of keep an eye on it and i
when i was kirby had from time to time and ah
ah i'm what i was noticing is that
he didn't feel quite natural
ah
and

what i wanted to ask is that
it can appears that
like you were saying earlier
i just have to follow my desires i'm not to an extent that are
allred status so so so after for my desires
but what i feel is i will only learn
when i get burned meaning ah so if i put my hand on the stove a hostile ah
my hand is gonna burn and the next time i'm not gonna do it
ah
it seems to me like that would be the only way that i would really learn you know what to do and what not to do or something like that i'm just like how maybe a child learns ah
we we learn by getting hurt and then we'd maybe try not to do that again
ah so so where where i'm going s
it appears that
there's no i'm ah
you know off the cushion for example
there is no specific way of being ah
it's just interacting with whatever is going on right now i'm and ah if i get to help somebody it's not necessarily because of me and if five com somebody it's not necessarily because of me ah
yeah so like i i feel like i can not
create or called a way that i should be ah
towards a certain outcome or something like that

is that the and yes
i didn't understand where he said but
i can understand what you said but i want to sum up a little bit i didn't say that if you should just follow all your desires
i said the desire is necessary but desire in order to be satisfactory has to
far away that's wholesome
my incidents said something like that
so it's not know schnatter you cut off desire
it's not that you cut off does allow but you use desire
single doesn't use you
so when you talk about should i be watching all of china all of them i would say yeah
that's that's called practice
practices to always know what's going on in your with your our desires
and you know
in buddhism desires is is canon is it's clever
am
often look down because it will we put ourselves in control of our desires or we put it desires in control of us that's what damage but you should be in control of your desires
so that when a
desire
oh
we have so many things one so many
no desire to spread and so whether the desires that are beneficial and this as an open a bishop so we call we will return ourselves over to the dharma desire becomes were seeking mind
because their desires pointed in that direction a practice in this compilation can mine and so
ah in
ah like in the tour school towards her our school
the noticed everything that happens you notice everything they do you don't say this is good necessarily this bad necessarily but dinner then and sometimes it gets to be little too fussy but at the same time it's like know this is anger now this
the missions whatever it is so you're always noticing what what's going on in your body mind
it's not that hard
now i have the baby
no interest in the baby
and so you just is just loaded just noticing
it doesn't have to be home
no
go expanded but simply noticing
so that's that's very important practice
that is the same as doesn't
just simply noticing

so the curbing part that is
so even if it is not ah
completely if the even if it's dawn hunt old some say for example i'm eating something and ah
to eat somewhere you know even though minds even though my am
ah my stomach is for yes so curbing that
am
would you say you curb gonna do what's needed for the moment and what's needed for the for the situation i would say greed is no arising to me
that
so you just know that greed is now rising me or anger is just a rising to me
hi
and as first judgment goes the problem is that if you use judgment
not to notice then you creating a bias
so you simply
notice what's going on the distance arising now arising in it and so you get to and to know what's going on and then you can you make your judgements
according to your knowledge
then you later you figure out well as he is it going to be greedy or not really no it's not so you don't have to say so this is not good you don't own a bad boy and
the my dollar suspicious now what is arising in may
and similarly with respect to our
say i'm with somebody else and
i see them stating something wrong
and and i'm defining what's right and wrong the and
and
but i feel i really feel strongly that the look they're going down the wrong path yes
and i've done both and and then again i'm not sure there's a right answer but
just allowing them to go down the wrong path
feels bothersome for me read three do i do that
so good friend always says something
when they see your friend when you see your friend going down the wrong path do you what you think is going down the own bed you said i think you are going down the wrong path
i i observe you can observe what's going on you and i can see that you are going down the wrong path
hi
and if somebody construes that as being whatever that's wonderful that that is that as whatever gets the uk
yes does two things one is this is what's happening period and the other is
judgmental
get judgmental for making a judgment because even though everything is just as it is
there's still right and wrong

no

ron pleased to meet yourself and sog roshi a question
a mute
okay so generation oh
it's been awhile since i see fit
ah
this is sp kind related to a little bit too are you answered my god and also when you're confrontation with susan i just wanted to mention the department of the interior to go along with the department of defense and they both can work together
here's my questions
i'm in the plasma practice or fear of vodden practice
there is bear attention know and their attention is what you were as a contained rogoff is that you perceive or you are aware of such front of you or in your mind or physically and you just are attended to that without passing judgement on it
and without the word they use air is proliferation without proliferating into a story or a drama the were on the all arrested it that we do really
and i in mindfulness practice one commentary i read this is the beginning of mindfulness practice the first step and mindfulness practice my question is is that exactly what size is or zero difference well it is there's a difference so what's the difference

because a man is because that is more than that
that is an aspect of doesn't okay but surgeon is more than that in a suzuki roshi
i'm actually in the soto school
mindfulness is just is a in a
other price met other buddhist practice our to what they are
mindfulness is a bitch is the center
this is
but in just and mindfulness is an adjunct is one of them one of the aspect that
is is present in zazen
mindfulness is one at one component is president version
am
yeah
posture is one aspect is present in possession
like volition
there are many other components is what create season so
as a mud mindfulness is not the center of doesn't it's one of the components from sudden
i'm not talking about
i'm not talking about mindfulness because mindfulness or you can be now the beginning of mindfulness which is a joke your attention bear attention and then mindfulness can continue and expand from there okay
oh well what about it is that what doesn't is
not completely so what what what would the and other than the pair attention of what's happening in your body or you might
settle this
equanimity
well you know you and you pay attention that you would not have was happening right yeah in a mug mindfulness is is apparent or is a m
it is a central aspect of all well buddhist practices hell yeah
however i don't know what you're asking to you to well it's pretty simple when you when you talk about settled the statue result i'm that's a quality of you're sitting practice which you would be aware of know which is bear attention
well then i'm not i'm not saying that deters and there can be many conditions of your as your body and mind but their attention just as aware of
a making an effort to be aware of that lush so very tension actually you gonna call it mile we don't usually call my mantra little you can call it meant for list
is a bear tension is a
at the center of them
certain
a huge you just your voices from zapper that
nickel moment it's could you repeat what you just said yeah bear attention here is a to set her obsession
okay the code of just a little bit argumentative what would be on the periphery probably what what will be on the periphery nothing okay that's what i was asking know
strict observance that is at the center
right
this no periphery
i think that's that's interesting representing that later
because because doesn't covers the whole universe
eh
eh
teddy continued okay century
the last question or for who signed up for the sydney is daniel could you please a meet yourself daniel and sog rocio question
and wrong could you please meet yourself
hey certain i am
no
you gave me a story icon then
maybe i'll talk about a now along with
the oh there's the anecdotes that of and coming like the memory a story be so one of those along with it
like so mountains are mountains know then mountains are not mountains and rivers are not reverse and then
mountain czar mountains and rivers rivers but they're different
with the difference but there's a difference with the difference with the different
hmm
the same with the difference
i'm mounted the mountains
just like you ordinarily experienced him
chris the area experience
then when you start to practice
when the is security of your practice everything comes apart
where you felt what you felt mountain first like about what is out rivers were the underlying the rivers
then we come to maturity
you realize that mountains or mountains just towns and rivers joan rivers but with the difference

sort of return
and that's a connects to the an anecdote or an ice the frame it as that but adjusted about lake
just add
like there it's having a lens and then the the lens as sort of dissolving or something like that but
oh like
i'm
about
sort of returning to
not
putting a lens on something did that can blind you to
they did
do they do the same zahra and nirvana that are present in the
moment
well
ah
taking yes taking the blinders off
to reality

oh
i think
you need a teacher
a good one
that you can be in contact with up a lot
yeah yeah
there will be be go

thank you so jobs the pros okay would you have something you wanted to add daniel please
no the internet just froze i think
oh okay thank you thank you all for your inches
we have a few more minutes left the city grew up with the on the list would like the sog rogier question
you can i get my attention by just waving your hand i'm going to scroll through and see the city waving hands for a question
ah nancy to please them beat yourself in sog rocio question and then den will be next
good evening social see on
we quit my question is i guess one more self centered aspect of the plane of questions but i just noticed as i get closer and closer to thinking about the election the and its aftermath that i find that what's arising is as real sense of deep despair
and
and i notice it and i can let it go but it just keeps filling filling me up over and over again
i'm so i love to hear some words of encouragement to hear another your you know i stood perspective such things as well as how that possibly could how hope fits him
there's hope also fit in
i'm
yeah
yeah
we see the monster and hope for the best
yeah
oh
it's gonna get worse
oh but
it's always good to
i'm
you know if you have
like a good
no talks by somebody that you trust and that you'd look up to
and
study their words
you know an average to keep in contact with not exactly optimism or pessimism but when we help with reality
like hum
studies suzuki roshi talks read one every day
you know just go through read one every day
and so you're commuting with somebody that has some wisdom
and that will actually help you
the really really really will help you
no so many wonderful didn't know
words of wisdom after dinner that are true and will help you
know what's your perspective about hope and he isn't something that we should try to cultivate or
well you know it typically in in and we don't talk about all right but the reason we don't talk about hope is not that we don't think about home
he says that
if you give yourself over to hope then the it's easy to stop that actually practicing
because they depend on hope
but it's fine to happen we should have hope
but it shouldn't interfere with our work at the moment
cause hope is it in the future i hope you know just good but shouldn't depend on it
you know it's important it's an important aspect permission depend on it so don't just don't give yourself only over the hope
yeah didn't work
thank you you will share
a bed before you ask your question i just wanted to mention that are rather than doing the wave thing it actually will be easier for a people raise their electronic hand which is in your participant a bot for the lower part of the screen i'll find you on on my street is result of that food is raise your
electronic can if you want to ask a question a bet if next
please meet yourself and as such rocio question

ah banner you there he is there but it is is i'm not a new
right the middle where all been the your screen but not mine
the sydney on ask him to a mute again
could you meet yourself a ben
we'll come back to you
i joe you have a question please ask it by a meteor yourself first when you did
i
have such an own shape
oh
our listen
this is so beautiful on so many of the questions and your responses came true
my struggles with politics and the construction and my house
and on
they
both throw me off days for sure and sometimes like a little thing like the well we say little like the construction like a more mundane thing throws me off sometimes for and on
oh yeah a bigger son
oh like a cancer okay fine okay theorems of might not have been true thirty years ago my
but the construction you know the thing is i was reading and physicians i think as she should on energy and she said okay with the whole thing is being there really being there in this moma
to being time and opening your eyes and i thought that's great
that's so clear
the hand on the so this is not formulating itself into much for question but it just seemed the like with the thing with the construction like mundane things that get many it's sort of seems like not kind of way
respecting oh
i
so stinky word with the sacredness of every moment of being time
in some way when i don't wanna be there this moment because at this moment i'm thinking about something that this kind of in some way boring or i think it's unimportant turns getting in the way of things i think are very important
so i don't know if this a question and all that but i with this being there in
being tried being time big time being there
just being there and opening the i was so evocative so you know anything you can say would be wonderful
you

yeah
right when am
when do you play music
i'm speed up
i do a lot as you know where do you think i just say
the exactly that
oh yeah you're on my case man
yeah you know i got back thinking that everything was cool and after week to way and now it's going on another week at israel real frustrating the first thing i saw when i got back on the piano was the buck sweet
an assets
a is i can't wait to make music with you again mash
yeah
i can talk you the if you'd think hip hop jaw before could be or f the next question i way to invite people who typically i don't ask questions that shows on who are here on the screen with us tonight i encouraging them to razor electronic
can and asked the question
a kabir your the next question or please
thank you well thank you i saw your machine
eric i can hear you but i can see you are using see now wave your hand
no
must be in the next page yeah
i'm no longer and a front page
i took the also front page nine year old man trial
ah had to
that's okay as long as you can hear me when okay

the go back to the front page
could be are you can just wave your hand very demonstratively
here
okay to speak
well it will take a frozen
oh there you are as think we can a deeper of that been using little office here i
hello i know
i got you okay so i know you love your blog hi i have i hit my question originally was a note of and for it will not if not have again if we try to stay away from a gaining mind
is it also true that we try to stay away from the getting rid of mine right now which brought me which brought me to the idea of finding a balance between attachment and letting go and then tonight you mentioned renunciation live
which has it's an amazing
playing but it's it's it's gonna it's it's always a doesn't matter but so my question is
the buddha taught pronunciations that it can bring balance between attachment and letting go
below average
sure that between what
attachment and let it go more attention and go
in a balance between that so what was announced creation was a tool that is it's is designed for that or anyone else's identity from downstairs and renunciation been split go of self centeredness
letting go of frank centered nerf death renunciation doesn't have much limited or taking other for insurance or and in the lake
we're giving on your body weight check
the has any better
cover your ego said the bounces between
your true self and your ego
now when you look on your ego your true self
takes over
there's a search blackfin big self and flosser
well so it's not like you don't leave no longer have a know working on part you know know it's something you don't have an ego the ego is more under control of your bookshelf
so you're always referring to your big self rather than to your ego
what should i do too big son an that's the same what desired well yes desired is the balance between m
ah
ah
self centered designer
and links a big self-centered desire
and ten so you know
ah you're always asking your picture of which i do
you also have to ask you smarter when she when should i do
so
that's to went to do
is that than it comes to
i'm sorry so that that's is that is that when we come to a place where we try not to gain and we try not to let go and just deal what's at hand
really check in with a barbecue chicken with the breath
in know excited yourself on the breast
always release of the bread
and that get gives you access to big know it
hmm
when you when you're over with is always ask you where do i want to do why would i want
i'm referring to your ego as the sender so we step up by reconciliation is to step up from self silliness
are your senators and
i'll be considered in your buddha mind
you switch from so the buddha centeredness
thank you and for for jag already but he's interested and bay first nineteen eighty two you gave a talk about composure
and i cannot recommend enough and it's under a jump drive that on was you know you guys were selling soap it's an amazing talkie game on may first ninety two but composure in style with at home where he is somebody a palm i get up and take a shower i go to work or something like that
and then the whole talk anyways
so
but i have another question i'll save that for the next time but for now thank you so much it's wonderful to see you as always thank you will take a surgeon thank you and thank you ask you could be are indeed been on your back please so i meet yourself in eso joshi a question
can you hear me i can
i can see you in here you
search brushing
ah
i've heard you teach and speak about
the chara before oh and posts on obviously offered a class not too long ago on that
but i recently was reading an essay that was looking at the guardian his teachings which i'm less familiar with you and i wanted to know if there's some small thing you can share of your understanding of the garden is teaching
ah
of the decay understand the advantages to choose
me either
a
well thank you so much for your teaching and saw when i would say though
and in retrospect and will said the what i understand of the guards in his teaching
is home
just become buddha center

i've been thinking a little bit
recently about a practice life being or life if the place as practice practice his life as a sort of a realignment or of sort of a changing of allegiances sort of what you're saying from self centered to buddha centered and

you could also say
all sentient being centered could you not
hmm i wouldn't ah
i would say wouldn't be centered
hmm
so
myself and still included but it's just one among the many were all you know is one in this money
oh
there's only one building
and in many meanings
that's no guard during this teaching
well one be
when many presents
the most of the multiple wins
no chance
stay with the one been
and you also be anchored
thank you search your machine
here i two more questionnaires to end the evening the first one will be nina nina pleased to meet yourself and sog roshia question
to
can you hear me now
okay well if i had waited long enough before racing my hand and would have that my answer
that usually happens but i will ask any way so vigorously time because i don't usually do this and they responded to ross's encouragement to and to overcome my own reluctance to
participate openly like this
so oh
self centeredness and self-care little yes i think you really addressed it but perhaps you have a different a slightly different take on and that is a difficult to sometimes tell the difference or is it always clear
air
well it's not always clear
oh
you know when you find an airplane
they always give you this little talk first
and as a
if we go down the do the ocean or something
little am a jacket comes down right
and if you have children he always put the the oxygen and a child
on yourself first yeah so that you can take care of the child
so which from throat
so you have to take care of yourself otherwise it it's really hard to take your other people
so when is when is it confusing when i actually can't
i'm not sure that i can think of when it's not clear but you did say it's not always clear well didn't elicit always clear oh
railroad
make definitive statements were it was good car no know this
thank you so much it's wonderful to see you go to see you do know i give me your question
a heather are you have the last question for the sibling please don't beat yourself
i'll second she say
ah i am a question about help
and helping him
and it's based on the an experience i had this week but it's meant as a universal question
i have a friend who lives in a lot of pain she is
a single mother with a very demanding job and was already at a breaking point before kovac happened
and
now she seems to be
worse off than i've ever seen her and i recently did something that was an act of support
and
she's so beyond her capacity that even the act of support which was baking her a blackberry cobbler the act of coming to the door and receiving it was more than she could bear no and
ah
and i know that people around her have fallen away because she is so
irritated all the time
and i'm sitting in this question i didn't take it personally but but i'm sitting in this moment of of wanting to understand how to be in relationship with her when she is in this much pain and how to stay presence
without adding more injury so i'm sitting with a balance question is it term mostly
and psychological pain or physical pain
psychological
no
well one thing too
you could do
this just be with her and let her do the talking
no just just can hear her out and the moreover am
a neutral ear you are
the horses more she'll be able to you know
say something about a new boat deeper into her
no problems
no
the way just be close to do nothing
yeah then it's such an independent you
oh the last dog
oh
tibet he referendum or long
even if she pushed you away again to pursue age okay
don't insist
donations
because it you know
there's some people you can help and some people that you can
do you have to know your own limitations offering yourself as an arab and jewish you can do woman and for her but be the burst
and mm
yeah if she rejects you you know you can i do it can do
everything comes into being it goes out in here
and and a whatever we can do and in between us is good but we can't do everything
oh no
thank you know good
i am i just saw another hand so i'd like to call on carrying dakota's this will be definitely the last question about this evening
i'm open to that
hi
nice do you know i had i thought i signed up but i don't think i got on the list and then i had a question and then i forgot it so i thought i would just say hello
am i don't spend a long evening and it's late it's even later where i retire cheese it's almost midnight here and just good
i have just enjoyed this evening so much i feel a great weight lifted like the the pleasure of not knowing the joy of not knowing and i just feel like i wanna i want to reflect back or give
back other love you keep pouring out to all of us and helping us
it's it's some such great nourishment and food so
well
can also nourishes me
because they don't you get her to do actually you know it's it's any jersey yes
it's i liked what you said a couple of shows sons ago like but it doesn't matter that i think you said it is susan it doesn't matter the question you are just listening the teachers teaching
so that's helped a lot know you know it almost i get that when i do some teaching a the question is not as important as the meeting yes yes
notch
and i'm so glad in this time that we can meet in this virtual real reality weasley brutal reality but it's reality you're right there is a
yes the ureter i am i'm right here i am taking care of my teenage boy and his difficulties and i wanna get to texas my mom who you met many years ago when i was getting married when i
thought i was getting married two hundred isn't she told me i didn't shave for the day trippers a bit bridge yes she wasn't she said you didn't shave and you looked at her and she said what are you looking at and you said i'm just looking at how beautiful you are because she had so she's turning nine
d go and she got out of assisted living because my family ran out of money and she's living with my brother and she's in a wheelchair and i want to go see because no one is hugged her for seven months and now she's with my family so i want to go to
texas but i don't want to go to texas if you know what i mean years ago
and i would love to come to see you too but i'm so grateful for let you do this i just wanted to say hello and good night and thank you
i to go