It's on. I didn't turn it on. I turned it off to put it up here, and then I didn't turn it back on again. When I look at these talks of Suzuki Roshi, I get a little confused as to which one I want to talk about. I haven't decided yet. Well, this was the one I was thinking about. Okay. No, it's not. I'm going to talk about the one I was thinking about. So he says, all the teachings come from practicing zazen, where Buddha's mind is transmitted to us.

[02:10]

To sit is to open up our transmitted mind, and all the treasures we experience come from this mind. To realize our true mind, or transmitted mind, we practice zazen. So this is a very interesting opening statement. All the teachings come from practicing Zazen, and it's where Buddha's mind is transmitted to us. So, you know, to sit in Zazen is to receive transmission from Buddha. Buddha's mind is transmitted to us, even though there's nothing transmitted. is simply opening our mind to Buddha mind, to our innate Buddha mind. That is called, you know, transmitting. It's a nice way of expressing it.

[03:17]

When we talk about Dharma transmission, we say Dharma transmission, but that's just a way of expressing it because We transmit Dharma to ourself. No one can give us anything, actually. So, teacher helps us to find our own way. And as a kind of guide, I don't like to use the word teacher. I think that's a misnomer in Zen. There's a koan. In Zen, there is Zen, but there are no Zen teachers. In all of the line of Tang, there are no Zen teachers. It's a wonderful koan. And it's quite true. There are no Zen teachers.

[04:21]

But aren't there people who have disciples and blah, blah, blah? Yes, but there are no Zen teachers. So a teacher is a kind of guide that helps you to be your own teacher. When you are your own teacher, then you can guide others. But until you have the confidence to be your own teacher, and to affirm, and be affirmed by someone else. You can affirm yourself, but you must be affirmed by someone else. Only a Buddha, and a Buddha. Then you can have some, take some leadership. But it has nothing to do with your knowledge. This has to do with your, or even your understanding.

[05:29]

It has to do with who you are and your faith and understanding in the sense of what practice is. And of course your enlightenment, which is not knowledge, it's something else. So, we sit Zazen and open our mind, empty actually, empty out, so that Buddha can take over. Buddha nature can express itself. So all the teachings come from practicing Zazen. Our Buddha's mind is transmitted to us.

[06:34]

To sit is to open up our transmitted mind and all the treasures we experience from this mind. To realize our true mind or transmitted mind we practice Zazen. When we do have Dharma transmission from a teacher, the teacher confirms this mind. This is simply confirmation. I like to call it confirmation or entrustment. Many people seek for a special place and become confused. This was in In these days, in the 70s, I guess he gave this talk, 60s and 70s, 60s actually, the Zen centers were, you know, there were a few teachers around.

[07:37]

and in Los Angeles and New York and San Francisco and each center was gathered around its teacher and there was very little interaction between the centers. People knew of each other, you know, but no one traveled back and forth very much. and each center developed itself around this teacher's personality or teaching. And then later, after the original teachers had died, not altogether, but there came a certain time when the students started going to other centers and interacting with the other teachers and so forth. but after they had gotten the confidence of their own practice, not before that. There was a reason for not interacting before, so that the students could find their way with the teacher and have their own confidence, and then they could go and visit other places and other teachers without being

[08:53]

seduced or easily taken off their seat, so to speak, by the vortex or the power of another teacher. They can have their own confidence. So it's important to have your own confidence before you visit other places and other teachers. so that you know where you stand, and you know how to accept another teaching, and you know where your roots are. That's very important. You may want to practice with another teacher, which is good, but you have some confidence before you do that. And Suzuki Roshi and others would criticize people who went from hopping from one teacher to another, trying to gain a little bit from this one, a little bit from that one, and you put all these parts in your little basket, and then you have a bunch of parts, but there's no taproot.

[10:17]

You have all these little fruits, or all these little branches, but no root. So they criticized that hopping around like that from one place to another and never really settling down. So he said, many people seek for a special place and become confused. As Dogenzenji says, why give up your own seat and wander about in the dusty realms of foreign countries? When we are sightseeing, We are involved in an idea of hasty attainment. Our way is to go step by step appreciating our everyday life. Then we can see what we are doing, where we are. So, for Suzuki Roshi, the main thing was to find your teacher and then settle down. And the difficulties you have become your practice.

[11:23]

So a lot of people, because they feel they have difficulties here or there or with this or with the teacher or the students, they'll go to another place and practice. It may be easier or better. It may be. That's okay. But Then we get to that place, and then we say, oh, I don't think that teacher is so good either, you know. Or we see his mistake, or her mistake, and we want the teacher to be perfect. We put this person up on the pedestal, or the practice on the pedestal, and then we can't, that doesn't match our idea, and so we go to some other place. It may be that, you know, no place is perfect, and no body is perfect, and no teaching is perfect. even though I say the perfect teacher, the perfect teaching, Buddha. But wherever you are is where you can find yourself.

[12:27]

So it's good to have a good teacher or a good mentor or a good guide and good people to practice with and a nice place to practice. But the point is how you settle yourself and deal with what's going on with you as practice right in the place you are. Sometimes it's good to just toss the person into some place and then that's where you are. Deal with it. That's best. No picking and choosing. It's like we're born into this world. And some people are born into this wonderful California. You know, like me. I was born in California. I never wanted to leave. I never had any idea of leaving to go someplace to do anything else. This is where I always wanted to be. Every single day I've been grateful that here's where I was born.

[13:30]

I never wanted to go anywhere. But some people are born into wars, into poverty, into all kinds of terrible situations. But that's where you have to find yourself. whatever situation. So I'm lucky, you know, I feel very fortunate that I was born into this wonderful Garden of Eden and I have this opportunity to find myself here. Some people are born into these terrible situations, but that's where they have to find themselves. That's the opportunity, as well as the tragedy of their lives. And even though a person may be born into the Garden of Eden, they still commit suicide. So, you know, our situation is here. No matter where we are in the world, this is where our situation is.

[14:31]

So, if you go someplace else, that's where you'll be. Suzuki Roshi used to call it, we just are changing our equipment. Even though we go someplace else and take up a different style, we're just changing our equipment, because we're still the same person and we bring our problems wherever we go. So it's best to face them where we are and deal with them where we are. So he says, when we are sightseeing, we're involved in an idea of hasty attainment. Here he's, you know, knocking attainment again. Our way is to go step by step, appreciating our everyday life. Then we can see what we are doing and where we are. People often think it would be best to study Zen in Japan, but this is rather difficult. Why don't you stay at Zen Center?

[15:35]

I asked them. If you go to Japan, mostly you will encourage them to build more new buildings. They may be very happy to see you, but it is a waste of time and money, and you will be discouraged because you cannot find a good Zen master. Even if you find a teacher, it will be difficult to understand him and study with him. It's easier these days than it was in the 60s. It was impossible, almost impossible. It's easier these days to do that, to go to Japan and find a good teacher, and that can be very, very beneficial. Sometimes, if you go to Japan and you find somebody, they'll say, well, why don't you go to San Francisco Zen Center? Sometimes people think there's more Zazen in Japan, but actually, there's more Zazen in America. Anyway, you can do true Zazen practice here, watching yourself step by step, one step after another.

[16:40]

We practice like a cow rather than a horse. Instead of galloping about, we walk slowly and steadily like a cow or an elephant. If you can walk slowly without any idea of gain, then you are already a good Zen student. The elephant is the Buddhist symbol. Of course, from India, when King Ashoka built his columns, which still exist to this day, believe it or not, sometimes he had an elephant at the top of the column, or sometimes lions, or the eight-spoke wheel. But the elephant moves very deliberately, one step at a time. In China, at the end of the Song Dynasty, many masters, responding to their students' desires, encouraged them to attain sudden enlightenment using various psychological means.

[17:58]

It may not be a trick. I shall be scolded if I say a trick. But I feel that kind of practice is sometimes like a trick. I think he's referring to a kind of koan style. practice. So those Zen masters would be good friends with the psychologists who try to explain the enlightenment experience. But originally Zen was completely different from this kind of practice. The Koan study started maybe in the late Sung dynasty or something. Dogen Zenji makes this point strongly, referring to a story about the first ancestor in China, Bodhidharma, and the second ancestor, Taiso Eka. Bodhidharma tells Eka, if you want to enter our practice, cut yourself off from outward objects and stop your emotional and thinking activity within.

[19:04]

When you become like a brick or stone wall, you will enter the way. You see this calligraphy by, oh my goodness, Shoyan Shaku, thank you Roshi, was learned to us by Grace and Shoyan Shaku was a the teacher of D.T. Suzuki and Nyogen Senzaki, and descended from a long line of Rinzai teachers. Hakuen was from, at least from Hakuen, and he came to America. I'm going to talk about him at a later time. I'm not going to talk about it now, but the calligraphy says just this. It says, this is of course a Bodhidharma, right?

[20:09]

And it says something like, if you want to enter our practice, cut yourself off from outward objects and stop your emotional and thinking activity within. When you become like a brick or stone wall, you will enter the way. There's also a kind of I'm not sure if it's in the calligraphy or not, but it says, Bodhidharma is watching you, so you better be careful. Anyway, so Suzuki Roshi kind of talks about this in his own way, and he has his own take on this statement, which is very different than I've ever heard before, and very nice, actually. He says, for Eka, this was a very difficult practice.

[21:13]

You know, Eka is, Taiso Eka is Bodhidharma's first disciple. So for Eka, this is a very difficult practice, as you must have experienced. But he tried very hard until he finally thought he understood what Bodhidharma meant. Then Eka told Bodhidharma that there was no break, no gap in his practice, never any cessation of practice. And Bodhidharma said, then who are you? Who does constant practice? And Eka said, because I know myself very well, it is difficult to say who I am. And Bodhidharma said, that's right. You are my disciple. Do you understand? The Buddha said, do you understand? There's this story of Eka coming to Bodhidharma and saying, I'm very troubled and it's very hard for me to pacify my mind.

[22:15]

And Bodhidharma says, well, show me this mind that needs to be pacified. And Eka says, well, I really can't locate it. And Bodhidharma says, well, there you are. I pacified your mind." So that story sounds like this story interpreted in a slightly different way, because Eka told Bodhidharma there was no break or gap in his practice, never any cessation of practice. But if you look at it, he's saying, I can't locate my mind. In other words, I can't find out who I am. I can't really put my finger on who I am, is what he's saying. There's only some continuous practice.

[23:19]

There's continuous practice, but within this continuous practice, I can't locate me. And Bodhisattva Dharma says, well, who does this? And Naga says, I know myself very well. That's why it's difficult to say who I am. Because I know myself so well, that's why I can't locate who I am. When we don't know ourselves so well, we say, oh, I'm this or I'm that, and we have these ideas about ourselves. But because I know myself so well, I don't really know who I am. So this is the kind of not knowing which is great knowledge. The highest knowledge is not knowing in this sense. Suzuki Roshi says, we do not practice zazen to attain enlightenment, but rather to express our true nature.

[24:29]

Even your thinking is an expression of your true nature when you're doing zazen. Your thinking is like someone talking in the backyard or across the street. In other words, there's a mumbling going on, right? Someone talking over across the street. You can hear it, but it's distant. or someone's in the backyard while you're in the house and you can hear them talking, but it's distant. It's not really something that you're doing. It's something that's happening. You may wonder what they are talking about, but that someone is not a particular person. That someone is our true nature. The true nature within us is always talking about Buddhism. Whatever we do is an expression of Buddha nature. When Eka, the second ancestor, came to this point, he told Bodhidharma that he thought he understood a stone wall itself is Buddha nature. A brick is also Buddha nature.

[25:31]

So this is a different take. Usually the stone wall is, you know, inaccessible, is about inaccessibility. And here, Suzuki Roshi expresses it as the stone wall and the brick are Buddha nature expressing itself. When you are like a brick or a stone wall, then you will enter the way. In other words, when you are expressing yourself fully like a brick or a stone wall, then you will enter the way. When your true nature is being expressed fully, So everything is an expression of Buddha nature. I used to think that after attaining enlightenment, I would know who is in the backyard talking. But there is no special person hidden within who is explaining a special teaching. All the things we see, all that we hear, is an expression of Buddha nature.

[26:37]

When we say Buddha nature, Buddha nature is everything. Buddha nature is our innate true nature which is universal to every one of us and to all beings. In this way we realize our true nature is constantly doing something. So Eka says, there is no cessation in practice because it is Buddha's practice which has no beginning and no end. Buddha's practice has no beginning and no end. Our practice may. But Buddhist practice doesn't. Then who is practicing that kind of practice? Personally, he may be Eka, but his practice is constant and everlasting. So that's interesting. Eka is personal. And practice is personal. But practice is more than just personal. even though it's personal.

[27:40]

Practice is totally personal to you. And my practice is totally personal to me. But practice itself is beyond personal and impersonal. And it just goes on and on. And the transformation keeps going on and on. There's no person who is practicing that you can point to except as a transformation in time. It started in the beginningless past and will end in the endless future. So it is difficult to say who is practicing our way. Dogen says, who is practicing our way?

[28:44]

If you want to know the answer to Zen questions, sometimes it helps to just see them as statements rather than questions. The who. There's a band, right? The who. I always think of that. who is practicing our way. That's right. It's a very interesting statement. Personally, he may be Ika, but his practice is constant and everlasting. So, it brings into question, well, what is practice? that is going on forever, that has no beginning and no end. It's Buddha nature expressing itself in these various forms as you and me, and all the transformations that are continually taking place.

[30:03]

And from the human level, On the human level, there is good and bad and right and wrong. That's very personal. And on the Buddha nature level, things are just what they are. It's only on the human level that it makes a difference, because we're human beings. It doesn't matter to rocks. They don't care. allow themselves to be transformed. Well, the plants do yet scream, but, you know, the sentient beings have this problem of right and wrong, good and bad, like and dislike, and should and shouldn't. And that's as it should be. We should care about what happens. But on the other hand, everything is just as it is.

[31:08]

So to really be concerned and responsible and caring is very important. And on the other hand, to be unattached and letting things come and go is also important because you cannot stop it. So everything that's bright and shining today will be dull and disintegrating tomorrow. This is the process. A process of continual transformation. Some days are bright, some days are dark. and causes a lot of problems. But the problems are here. How we deal with the problem, how we see the reality and work with things according to what's real, what's truthful, not just according to our desires or how we would like to see things.

[32:28]

So when we practice Zazen, we are practicing with all the ancestors. You should clearly know this point. You cannot waste your time even though your Zazen is not so good. You may not even understand what it is, but someday, sometime, someone will accept your practice. I accept your practice. So just practice without wandering, without being involved in sightseeing zazen. Then you have a chance to join our practice. Good or bad doesn't matter. If you sit with this understanding, having conviction in your Buddha nature, then sooner or later you will find yourself in the midst of great Zen masters, all the ancestors. In other words, just do the practice and stop worrying about it. people worry a lot about, you know, my practice, my zazen. Just do it. So the important point is to practice without any idea of a hasty gain, without any idea of fame or profit.

[33:38]

We do not practice zazen for the sake of others or for the sake of ourselves. Just practice zazen for the sake of zazen. Just sit. That's the hardest thing for people. We want to practice for the sake of it. We do. That's Avalokiteshvara's compassion, to practice for the sake of others. If we practice Zazen for the sake of Zazen, others are included. And our self is included. So it takes it out of the realm of self and other. You just do the thing for the thing. And then Buddha takes care of everything. It's like, I sometimes think of it as shoveling coal in an old tramp steamer. They used to shovel coal.

[34:45]

They use oil now. The guys are down there now. 120 degree heat, shoveling coal into the bunkers, into the ovens, to drive the ship, day after day. That's kind of like what we're doing. Down in the bowels of the ship, just shoveling the coals, just doing the work. And the ship moves, and it goes from the right place from this shore to that shore. It's very hard to let go of gaining mind. Very hard. But that's the essence of enlightenment. For Suzuki Roshi, that was the essence of enlightenment, is to let go of your gaining mind.

[35:48]

And we think, well, let go of gaining mind means, well, not have a lot of things. Let go of gaining mind means let go of gaining mind. Not gaining, it doesn't mean so much material things, but it means gaining something spiritual. Because then we're dividing the spiritual from the material. So no gaining mind means don't divide the spiritual from the material. Don't divide enlightenment from practice. So no gaining mind really means non-duality. Because in non-duality, there's nothing to gain and nothing to lose. So, Siddhiqui Maharaj is always talking about non-duality. When you sit sadhana, you simply sit.

[36:49]

If you want something, then you're in the realm of duality. If you want a peaceful mind, you're in the realm of duality. If you want anything, you're in the realm of, you split the mind. So it's very hard to not split the mind. But if you simply sit with what comes and accept it and are open to it and let it come and let it go, you know, it's like when we sit Zazen, we feel certain pressures. You know, there's the pressure of bearing down on our legs, you know, at some point. We call that pain. You know, it is. We call it that. And how do you control the pain?

[37:52]

How do you control that feeling? It's simply a feeling. Psychologically, we construe it as pain. We invent the term, and then we buy into it. We can't help it, you know, but we do it. But if you let go of that idea, then it's just a sensation, some kind of sensation. And if you allow yourself to fall into that idea, then the whole universe will come pressing down on you, because we have the same pressure inside as outside. That's what keeps us from collapsing. If we didn't have the same pressure inside, we would just collapse, like an airplane up in the stratosphere.

[38:56]

Before they invented the pressurized cabin, they couldn't go very high, because the pressure up there would close the cabin. That's why airplanes have pressurized cabins. And we're the same. We have pressurized bodies. How many pounds per square inch, inside and outside, that keep us from collapsing? It's the same with our enzazen. You have this pressure inside and outside, and if you allow the pressure from outside to become too strong, then the whole weight of the universe is pressing down on you and it just continues until you can't stand it anymore. But if you equalize the pressure, keep the pressure always equalized, then although there's sensations and maybe some pain or whatever you want to call it, it doesn't overwhelm you.

[39:59]

So the only way you can do that is to let go of wanting. It teaches us the reality. Just let go of wanting anything and then the pressure becomes equalized. And you can feel the pressure equalizing. I don't know how to explain it other than that, but that's just a kind of pointing. So I hope that I have the time to talk about this calligraphy, this Sumi painting of Sohyan Shaku and a little bit about his life and his significance in America.

[41:16]

Pretty interesting. Do you have one question? Anybody have a question? I want to know what is. How do I let go of it? How do you want to let go of it? You want to know? Well, just be what is. Okay. That was very kind of you.

[42:00]

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