Well, we've come to the end of the first week of our spring practice period. Not all of you are in the practice period, and this morning I would like to have a discussion with you about if you have any questions about practice period or how you're doing or your impressions or questions, but also questions, any kind of question is fine. It doesn't have to be about that, but sometimes we give talks, but we don't always cover everything that may seem relevant to you, so if you have something that you'd like, some question,

[01:01]

something that you'd like to discuss, please raise your hand. I was talking with Ms. Lauser, and we were reading Thich Nhat Hanh's book on the Heart Sutra, and I started to answer and realized I didn't know what I was talking about. Yeah, well, good question. You know, the five skandhas, basic Buddhism, what is a human being, a human being is composed of five streams, sometimes they're called heaps because of the language, but form, feelings, perceptions, mental formations, which means thoughts, and consciousness.

[02:09]

So, feelings are both emotional, psychic, and physical. And so, the term feeling covers all kinds of feeling. So, basically, feeling is one of the five components that create what we call the person, and instead of talking about a substantial thing called a person, we use the five skandhas as a, to indicate what we mean by the person. Yeah, hi. Thank you for talking about no separate self yesterday.

[03:13]

Yes. How does one practice no separate self, minute to minute? Moment to moment, yeah. Well, first of all, yesterday, the reference here is to yesterday, we had afternoon tea and a talk, which we do during practice period. And this gentleman brought up, what do we mean by no self? Now he's asking, how do we practice no self? Follow up, thank you. So, and then I explained the five skandhas. So, the first question is leading to the second question, which was discussed yesterday, but

[04:14]

I'm going to discuss it again today. So, there's a saying, the fool sees himself as other, the wise person sees others as himself. So, the meaning here is, all those things, which are not our self, are actually our self. All the objective and subjective world, that all objects are what create our self.

[05:23]

And the extensions are called form, feelings, perceptions, mental formations, and consciousness. These are the doorways to the world, and we don't exist separate from the world. We are part of the dynamic living and ever-changing dynamic of the universe. So, when we get down to what is the person, the person is simply these streams in combination

[06:29]

with each other, which are continually changing. So, there is a person, each one of us is a person, an entity, but each one of us is continuously changing and transforming, and actually we say there's no substantial entity called the person. When you peel it all away, early Buddhism describes it as like a certain kind of tree, plantain I think, where you strip away all the outer barks that are forming the tree, and there's really nothing in the middle. Because there's nothing in the middle, we can't say that there is an entity called

[07:30]

the self. The self is a combination of form, feelings, perceptions, mental formations, and consciousness, which is made up of all stardust, basically, stardust. You know, this body actually is stardust. But there's motivation, and we feel like a person, but the person that was born, so to speak, so many years ago, is not the same person that exists now, but at the same time is, is and is not.

[08:32]

So the secret is, is and is not. There is a self, but the self, if you say there is no self, that's not exactly right. It's not untrue, but it's not exactly right. You say there is a self, that's not untrue, but it's not exactly right, because the self is a self that's not a self, and what is not a self is the self. All those elements that are not a self are what the self is, and the self is simply all those elements which we feel is not our self. So, it's sometimes described as like a table. We look at a table, and there's no such thing as a table, except in our mind.

[09:33]

To the ant, it's some kind of huge structure that, if there's some sugar on top, maybe we'll make an effort to climb it. But, so given that there is a self that's not a fixed entity, I think fixed is the key word. The self is not fixed. It's always in transformation. So, everything is in transformation. So, the self is part of the universal transformation. When we identify with the universe as a self, we don't have such a problem, and when we

[10:35]

identify with our self as isolated from the universe, then we have a problem. So, as long as we identify with the universe, we are a cosmic being. That's my self. So, we say the whole universe is our true self, which is so. The cosmos is our true self. So, people, there are astronomers who want to find beeps from outer space from people like us. I don't think that will happen. It could. Anything can happen. The strangest things can happen, and they do all the time. So, maybe there are people like that out there, but what is important is for us to

[11:39]

understand our world and our universe and how we fit into this universe as part of the universe. So, how do we actually practice non-self? That's your question. Well, unselfishly. So, the key to practicing non-no-self is non-no-selfishness. That's really the key, and my teacher talked about that all the time. He said, you don't know how selfish you are. And I said, well, you mean selfless, don't you mean no-selfish? You know, we always want something, and when push comes to shove, we'll do anything we can to get it.

[12:39]

So, practice goes against that. Practice is the anti-selfishness practice, and so that's why it's so boring. Terry? I had just one suggestion, and then I have a question. A couple of years ago, the Dalai Lama came out and talked about his own practice, and the simplicity of his own practice now. And what he said was, for every being he encountered, he just said, this is me. He just reminded himself. He used that as a practice, a way of kind of reminding himself. Well, that's right, yes. I always talk about what was so relevant about Suzuki Roshi's practice, and why his practice

[13:50]

was so attractive to people, because he saw everyone as Buddha-nature. He saw everyone as Buddha-nature, which, of course, is very similar. So, yes, the sage sees others as himself. My question was, or my request is, practice period is an opportunity for us to really express our enthusiasm and exert effort, our zeal, the paramita of zeal or effort, and also our practice of living by vow. And this opportunity for this period of time is an opportunity to look at your practice and make these commitments. I guess I'd like you to talk about why, the importance of this, or the meaning of committing

[14:59]

and following through on your commitments and vows. Yes, so within our practice, structure is very important. Structure is a very important part of our practice. There are some practices which, because people feel that they want to be free, have freedom, and so instead of having structure, they do away with structure in order to feel that that's where you have freedom. But in our practice, freedom is found within structure. So there's a superficial freedom in which you feel that you have no restrictions. But our practice is found in the midst of restrictions.

[16:00]

That's called true freedom. And that freedom is epitomized in Sazen, because in Sazen, you are finding your freedom in the midst of the most restricted posture. This is what makes practice kind of difficult, to find your freedom within restriction. When you have restriction, then you're forced to find a way without escaping. And this is, monastic practice is like this.

[17:10]

Monastic practice, you just do the same thing every day, more or less, within these parameters of restricted activity. And so practice is actually renunciation. Suzuki Roshi used to talk about no gaining idea all the time. As long as you want something, you restrict yourself, which seems the opposite of the way our life usually unfolds. So, as Buddha said in the Second Noble Truth, the problem, the cause of our problems, the biggest cause of our problems is wanting something too much. Attachment to wanting, attachment to desire.

[18:13]

And we're all caught by it. Everybody's caught by this. But it doesn't mean that desire is wrong. It's our attachments that's the problem. Desire is important. Without desire, it's really hard to exist. But it's our attachment that's the problem. Attachment to our liking, disliking, wanting, not wanting. So desire creates the dualistic environment for suffering. Having and not having. To have and have not. Great movie. So, practice is designed around restriction. I'll read you something.

[19:25]

This is from Suzuki Roshi. And he's talking about no duality. So he says, we say our practice should be without gaining ideas, without any expectations, even of enlightenment. This does not mean, however, just to sit without any purpose. This practice free from gaining ideas is based on the Pragyaparamita Sutra. However, if you are not careful, the Sutra itself will give you a gaining idea. It says form is emptiness and emptiness is form. But if you attach to that statement, you are liable to be involved in dualistic ideas. Here is you, form, and here is emptiness, which you are trying to realize through form.

[20:35]

So form is emptiness and emptiness is form is still dualistic. But fortunately, our teaching goes on to say form is form and emptiness is emptiness. Here there is no duality. This is a little bit intellectual. I don't want to get you into that. But what he's getting at is how to be one with our activity, without depending on the past or the future. How to just be completely present in the present. This is how we practice within restriction. When we can practice that way, there is no restriction.

[21:37]

That's perfect freedom. To stop your mind does not mean to stop the activities of your mind. We do not stop the activities of our mind, but even so we say stop the mind doesn't mean to stop discriminative thinking. So it does not mean to stop the activities of your mind. What it means is that your mind pervades your whole body. Your mind follows your breathing. With your full mind, you form the mudra in your hands. With your whole mind, you sit with painful legs without being disturbed by them. This is to sit without any gaining idea, as you feel some restriction in your posture. At first you feel some restriction in your posture,

[22:39]

but when you are not disturbed by the restriction, you have found the meaning of emptiness is emptiness and form is form. Everything is just what it is. So to find your own way under some restriction is the way of practice. Practice does not mean that whatever you do, even lying down is zazen. When the restrictions you have do not limit you, this is what we mean by practice. When you say, whatever I do is Buddha nature, so it doesn't matter what I do and there's no need to practice zazen. That's already a dualistic understanding of our everyday life. If it really does not matter, then there's no need to say so. As long as you are concerned about what you do, that is dualistic. In other words, self-concern. As long as you have self-concern, that's dualistic.

[23:43]

If you are not concerned about what you will do, you will not say so. When you sit, you will sit. When you eat, you will eat. That's all. If you say it doesn't matter, it means you are making some excuse to do something in your own way with your own small mind. It means you are attached to some particular thing or way. When you sit, you should just sit without being disturbed by your painful legs or sleepiness. That is zazen. But at first, it's very difficult to accept things as they are. You will be annoyed by the feeling you have in your practice. When you can do everything, whether it is good or bad, without disturbance, or without being annoyed by the feeling that is actually what we mean by form is form and emptiness is emptiness. When you are not disturbed by discomfort or comfort or grasping or rejecting,

[24:55]

just this is the hardest practice. Just to be present in that way is the hardest. That's what makes practice difficult because we always want what's next. You know that cartoon where the two monks are sitting? One monk says to the other, what's next? And the other one says, nothing is next. So, I'm going to skip a bit of this. First, you will have some various problems when you begin to practice. And it's necessary for you to make some effort to continue your practice.

[25:58]

For the beginner, practice without effort is not true practice. For the beginner, the practice needs great effort, especially for young people. It is necessary to try very hard to achieve something. You must stretch out your arms and legs as wide as they will go, that is, form is form. You must be true to your own way until at last you actually come to the point where you see it is necessary to forget all about yourself. That's why we have such great patience. And not force people. When you come to practice, it's very difficult. And to actually get the true tone of practice is not easy. Because it means letting go of everything. But until you get to that point, you have to stay with where you are. So, the teacher has great patience with the students

[27:00]

because it takes so much time. Even though the student will get to a certain place, that little tail is hard to get through the window. It's really true. So, long-suffering patience. I don't know about suffering, you know. The teacher suffers with the students. But it's okay. Because it's a joyful suffering. So, until you come to this point, it is completely mistaken to think that whatever you do is Zen, or that it doesn't matter whether you practice or not. But if you make your best effort just to continue your practice with your whole body and mind, without gaining ideas, then whatever you do will be true practice.

[28:04]

Just to continue should be your purpose. Without wanting anything, or expecting anything, as long as you're expecting something, that's the barrier. The barrier is expectation. And everything is proven to us in Zazen. Zazen is the great proof of life. That's why we sit. As long as you expect something, you suffer. Just give up. And then you're very comfortable and happy and free. This is just basic Buddhism. Zen is just basic Buddhism. Nothing else but basic Buddhism. It's just Buddhist practice. And we have the intellectual practice, because we have a thinking mind. And we need to have the intellectual practice as well.

[29:08]

But basic practice is just this. So, when you do something, just do it. Just to do it should be your purpose. So, when I was practicing with Suzuki Roshi, we would wash the windows. He would say, you're not washing the windows because they're dirty. You're just washing the windows. When you're sweeping the floor, you don't sweep it because it's dirty. You're just sweeping it. And when you're brushing your teeth, you don't brush your teeth just to get them clean. It's just brushing your teeth. Just do everything totally wholeheartedly, without any purpose other than doing. And then the whole body and mind is one piece, without before and after. You're just living each moment as it is, and completely one with universal activity.

[30:14]

And it's not you doing it. So, this is no self. It's just universal activity. Breathing is the same thing. The one good reason for following our breath is that the breath is just universal activity. It's not me. I don't breathe. I can't stop it. I can stop it, but I don't want to. Do you? No. Nobody wants to stop breathing. Because you can't. You are being breathed by the universe. The blood runs through the body. It's not your fault. And the arms and legs move. The baby starts to stand up and move and all that. The baby is co-operating. The five skandhas are co-operating with the universe.

[31:19]

Co-operating. So, when there's a self, although there is no permanent self, there is a sense of self, and a sense of ego. So, that's important. But the ego and the sense of self co-operates with the universe. This is called harmony. So, how we practice selflessness is to harmonize with our surroundings in that way. So, I don't exist by myself. I only exist in co-operation with everything else around me. The food that I eat is given to us. God, look at that. I mean, we pay for it, you know. Here's the paper money, you know. Credit card. But basically, it's all given to us. And then we devour the food.

[32:20]

We eat the food, so to speak. And then we poop. And then everything is recycled. If it's done properly, it's really great. We can save, we can continue the earth for a while. So, we co-operate with the earth and we co-operate with the cosmos. So, we're cosmic beings. And so, we should, in order to be happy, which is not our goal. Our goal is to just be present. Happiness is a result of something. It's not a pursuit of something. You can't pursue happiness. Happiness arises unasked for. True happiness arises unasked for. And it can arise in our tribulations. And it can arise in our ease. And it's,

[33:23]

as long as you're pursuing happiness, you're barking up the wrong tree. The squirrel is in that tree. So, he says, when you do something, just do it. Just to do it should be your purpose. Form is form, and you are you. And true emptiness will be realized by your practice. So, yes. Yes. So,

[34:37]

Yeah, that's a very good question. Well, there's various reasons why he means get up slowly. You don't want to fall down. Your legs may be asleep. But also the transition into the world, to go carefully, mindfully, into the world. Because the first, there are three stages. One is the stage of letting go of everything. And then the second stage is birth. Standing up is birth. When you sit, that's death. But death is life. And you realize that death is life.

[35:48]

Life is death. It's the same thing, even though they seem different. They're manifestations. Manifestations are different. And then there's decision-making and movement in the world. And then there's there are other manifestations. But the first one is arising from zero to one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. So you want to be careful how you proceed because you're a newborn. That should be our attitude when we get up from Zazen. The whole world is there for us to decide what to do because it's all new. Even though it's old. But it's all new, really.

[36:49]

And we can do anything even though we have our obligations. So to actually be centered in each moment's activity is how we proceed from Zazen. That's called Genjo Koan. And every activity becomes part of this koan of how do we maintain our mind, our attitude of emptiness within the form of activity. So within the activity is stillness. And within stillness is the activity. That's non-duality. I remember Suzuki Goshi talking about the full lotus. When you sit in the full lotus you don't know which

[37:51]

leg is which. And it's all one piece. So to proceed carefully. That's why we say when you leave the Zendo don't start talking on the porch. Wait till everybody's out of the Zendo before you say anything. So you're not you're aware of the stillness that's still there when you get up from the cushion. And I just although Rinzai practice is a little different. Rinzai practice they jump up off the cushion and start running around. You know I have no criticism but it's just an interesting difference. But I kind of like this because we don't

[38:52]

in our practice Zazen itself is the practice. Koan study is okay but it's not the main practice. The main practice is Zazen. So if you do Koan study while you're sitting Zazen Zazen just becomes a container for Koan study. But Koan study is the main subject. I mean Zazen is the main subject for us. So we carry the stillness within our activity all the time. That's why we should always be centered. And where is our breath? To always be aware of our breath all the time. So that when you're aware of breath all the time I mean all the time when you're walking eating

[39:53]

standing sitting through every activity we're aware of our breath and working with our breath. And then our body is in harmony with the cosmos. That's how we stay in harmony and with ourselves. When you get old you still feel good. And your body parts still working. Well what's the proper place of mind and speech with regard to our intention around practice period or people who are not in practice period just in one's life? Well you know speech expresses is very important

[40:55]

and expresses our mind expresses our thoughts. And you know there's a time to be quiet and there's a time to speak. When it's time to speak you should speak. When it's time to be quiet you should be quiet. But when it's time to be quiet you shouldn't speak and vice versa. So there are times in our Zen Do practice and it's a scene and so forth where we don't speak. I remember there was somebody who everybody knows very well David Chadwick was my Jisha at Tassajara way back there when I was the director in the early 70s and he took a vow of not speaking but he would write everything down and he was speaking so loud by not speaking it was the greatest

[41:56]

disturbance of all. Suzuki never Suzuki Roshi never said we should just be quiet. He didn't say that. He said talking is fine you should be talking except that when it's time to be quiet you should be quiet but there's nothing wrong with talking that's how we communicate so we better be we should be careful about what we do but not think that we shouldn't be talking when it's time to talk. Yes, talk is cheap that's right so be careful what you say take great care in how you express because you know it's nice to hear the birds and it's nice to hear the quiet but because we have this ability

[42:57]

to speak we overuse it we really overuse it and so it becomes chatter and small talk small talk is ok you know but I can go for a long time without saying anything but there are some of us can't go for any length of time at all without saying anything so it's just you know people are different but I remember one time I had a Kensho experience I used to go with Chino Sensei up to a place called Potter Valley

[43:57]

where a house where we used to do sashins for people and I was serving the food I was a Tenzo or something I was directing that and so I wasn't eating but everybody else was eating and when they were eating there was this cabbage or some crisp vegetable and there was this crunch [...] it was full of crunch crunch and I just had a big awakening when they turn up the volume on insects eating leaves have you ever heard that? anyway be careful what comes out of your mouth I agree with you I know that it's time to

[44:59]

and there are a lot of unanswered questions, but I think you get the gist. So one of the problems, I just want to say, one of the problems that we have is that I kind of modeled our practice on a quasi-monastic model, which means we have everyday Zazen and Sishin and so forth, but it's really a lay practice, basically, so it's a kind of combination, but we do have the parameters of formality, and formality can be a kind

[46:19]

of restriction, but we should find our freedom within the formality. Formality does not actually restrict us. Everything we do has a form, and when we fit the form, we find our freedom. It's called conforming. We conform to the rhythm of our life. If we don't conform to the rhythm of our life, then we think of it as restriction, but when we can find a rhythm, and that's why practice period should help us find a rhythm for our practice, and we find the rhythm, the rhythm allows us to move easily within the forms, and then the forms are not restrictions, they just seem like restrictions, but just like

[47:21]

a river bank is a restriction for the river, when the river overflows its banks, it has freedom, but it's no longer a river. It's freedom, but it's no longer a river. Sure. [...]

[47:33]

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