Alleluia, the taste, the truth, the life, the time, to this world. Good morning. Well, this is my first talk of the year, and so I thought that I would talk about our practice and refresh our mind about how we actually practice here and give us an opportunity to think more about what we're doing and how to participate. in a way that's practice.

[01:02]

When we first started this practice, 1967, in Berkeley, this Tendo, I kind of modeled it on quasi-monastic practice. In the monastic practice, everyone is in the same place, practicing together like in a little town, a little self-contained city. So everyone has a position. And within these positions, we interact and create a practice. It's a self-sustaining kind of practice. So, position is very important in this kind of practice, this style of practice, because this is how we interact with each other,

[02:23]

by taking some kind of position, and how we are seen, how our teacher sees us, and how we interact with creating a practice. Actually, each one of us, when we take some kind of position, some position, creates the practice. So, in this lay practice community, of course I've talked about this many times, and I know I'm going to be repeating myself, but repetition is what helps us to remember. So, everyone has, each person, each member has their own life. which revolves around each one of us.

[03:28]

And at the same time, we have a life as practice, Sendo practice. So, you know, when we're in the world, in our normal activity, we have what we call a job. of one kind or another. But in the practice community we have a position. A position is different than a job. A job is more like something that you have to do to earn money. But in a position you're simply letting go of any kind of re-enumerative value. So all of your positional activity is to support the community without thinking about returns, without thinking about ... it's simply virtue without value.

[04:45]

So, we don't try to gain something through our position. We simply take on the position and practice thoroughly with that position. The highest position, actually, is the toilet cleaner. And as Suzuki said, not always so. But actually, I say this for emphasis, not for practicality. So, we ask people to take a position. If you're a member, you may not have time to take a position. Your life may be so busy, all you can do is come to Zazen. So in that case, that's your position as a Sazen practitioner.

[05:52]

That's a good position. We all have that position. But nevertheless, if that's your only position, that's fine. So as a layperson, or as a person, I don't want to say layperson, as a person practicing in a worldly way, we have only so much time. and energy to devote to anything that we do. So we have to be very careful to restrict ourselves to what we can actually take on. And this is a form of practice. The first form of practice is how we actually manage to do all the things that we do. And of course, in our society, because there are so many things to do, so many things to get caught by, and that demand our attention, that it's very hard to actually decide to do something like practice in a way that works.

[07:14]

It's not easy. Because most of our lives, activities, are devoted to gaining something from our activity. And practice of Dazen, or our Buddhist practice, is the practice of not gaining something. So it makes it very difficult. And also, it's like going upstream, you know, against the current. So one has to be very dedicated in order to actually make a practice work. So I want to really acknowledge all the effort that people put in to make this practice work.

[08:17]

To me it's rather amazing that we actually have made this practice work for so long with people's participation. I picked up this sheet, actually it's a big sheet, five pages, and it says, BZC Current Position People. And I thought, oh, this is interesting. It doesn't have a date, but it lists all of the activities that people participate in that makes the practice work. I'll just read it off, and you can see. There's the abbot, and then there's the art coordinator.

[09:23]

This is by alphabetical order. The art coordinator, the bathroom attendants, the board members, the librarian, the bookstore person, the CD recording people, like this gentleman over here today, the cheat-ins, people who take care of the altar, the community room cleaners, the coordinator, the DG facilitator, I don't know what that is exactly, or Dharma group, facilitator and coordinators, and the dawans, the kokyos, the ear council people, those are the people who hear your complaints, the front seat people, the half-day sitting coordinators, the head qilin, the head gardener, the head jikido,

[10:33]

the head resident, the head servers, the health and safety person, the kitchen keeper, the lecture scheduler, the mountains and rivers coordinator, that's mountains and rivers sashimi outdoors, the newsletter distributor, the newsletter editor, the office manager, the two office managers, the person who puts the oryokis together and sews the cloths, the oryoki instructors, the practice leaders, the president, the recording person, the repair and maintenance person, the Saturday director, the sashin director, the sewing teacher, the special projects person, the tape librarian, the tenzo, That's the head of the kitchen, the treasurer, vice president, the Wednesday class person, the work leaders, the zazen instructors, and probably some that aren't on here. But that's quite a lot.

[11:37]

That's a whole lot of positions and activities that actually keep the place stable and working. And sometimes when we walk in the gate, and we come into the Zen Dome, we sit zazen, and we go home and all that, and it seems very simple, but it's really all dependent on all these peoples taking positions and making it work, and we don't see all that. Some of it's visible, but most of it's invisible. but it's all there. And it's not only what makes things work, but it's what gives us a way of practicing. This is how we practice together. Each position

[12:43]

should take your full attention, your full participation. When you are participating in your position completely, then you're driving the whole practice, because it's all totally interconnected. Your position is not isolated, even though we don't necessarily see how our position turns to practice. But because it's all connected, it works that way. And this is the fundamental way that things work. This is what we have to understand about the interconnectedness of all things. This is the teaching of Indra's net. where every connection, every item is reflecting every other position.

[13:53]

So each position that we are in, that's the position in which we view the whole practice and relate to the whole practice. And then our positions change, and then we see the practice from a different perspective. and then it changes again and we see the practice from a different perspective. So we get a full and rounded way of seeing and understanding how our practice works and how we're influenced and how we influence each other and how we are sustained and how we sustain each other. And this is our model for creating society. Our practice is called the ground. The ground means a bare-bones practice.

[15:03]

Suzuki Roshi talked about the ground, and he talked about taking care of the ground, just taking care of the ground. We want nice plants to grow from our garden, but the most fundamental thing about the garden is the ground. When we really take care of the ground, the ground for us is emptiness. when we touch that ground and realize the empty quality of all things, then beautiful plants will grow out of that emptiness. So, you know, when I look out here, I just see all these flowers, all these beautiful flowers. growing out of this empty ground.

[16:05]

So, you know, each position is different, but each position is equal at the same time. This is the understanding of non-duality. You say, what's so good about non-duality? That's a good question. non-duality is the actual reality of things. So sometimes we ask people to take a position. We don't usually say, what position would you like, because what we try not to do is promote ego, or self-indulgence, or picking and choosing. So, in the spirit of no picking and choosing, we just say, please take this position, and it may not be what you want.

[17:15]

We think, well, I'm not very good at that. What I'm good at is this. But we don't ask you to take necessarily the position that you're good at, that helps you to feel pretty good about yourself. Well, I'm really good at that, so I'll ... No, please take this position that you're not so good at. Well, maybe I should practice somewhere else, where I'm really needed. sometimes we favor the position and sometimes we favor the person. So it's very intuitive and observable, observationable. So we observe who you are and then intuit what would be the best place for you. So if you're a person who

[18:18]

who doesn't believe in themselves, then we encourage you to do something that will help you to believe in yourself, you know, successes. If you're a person that believes too much in yourself, we give you some little problems that helps you to reduce that, to normalize you. So, this is how we practice, you know, the practice is how you I like the term humility. I talk about this a lot. Humility, to me, my definition of humility is to be just exactly who you are, not to think that you're more than you are, not to think you're less than you are, and to just be on each moment to know who you are. You know, Suzuki Roshi, in his wonderful talk, You talked about when you don't know who you are, then you have a good opportunity to find out.

[19:42]

If you think, I know who I am, then probably you don't know who you are. Your understanding is too superficial. So I'm going to read a little bit about what he said. He said, you may think that you can only establish true practice after you attain enlightenment, but that's not so. True practice is established in delusion, in frustration. If you make some mistake, that is where you establish your practice. Isn't that wonderful? You have all these great opportunities for practice, which we often think are hindrances, but they're opportunities. So we talk about enlightenment, but in its true sense, perfect enlightenment is beyond our understanding and beyond our experience.

[20:51]

So don't worry about it. Even in our imperfect practice, enlightenment is there. We just don't know it. So the point is to find the true meaning of practice before we attain enlightenment. Wherever you are, enlightenment is there. So if you stand up right where you are, that is enlightenment. In other words, if you stand up not knowing where you are or who you are, but you stand up anyway, So the purpose of practice is to help you to stand up right where you are. I don't know. I don't know mind is true mind. When we don't know, then our mind is open for everything. In Zen Mind Beginner's Mind, Suzuki Ryoichi has a well-known statement.

[21:54]

In the expert's mind, there's little room for true understanding, but in the beginner's mind, you have great opportunity because you don't know anything. So he says, this is called, I don't know Zazen. We don't know what Zazen is anymore. I don't know who I am. To find complete composure when you don't know who you are or where you are, that is to accept things as it is. Things as it is is a kind of koan statement because things is plural and it is singular. Things as it is. Even though you don't know who you are, you accept yourself. That is you, in its true sense. When you know who you are, that you will not be the real you.

[22:56]

You may overestimate yourself quite easily, but when you say, oh, I don't know, then you are you, and you know yourself completely, and that is enlightenment, which is humility. I think our teaching is very good, but if we become arrogant and believe in ourselves too much, we will be lost. There will be no teaching, no Buddhism at all. When we find the joy of our life in our composure, we don't know what it is, we don't understand anything, and then our mind is very great and very wide. Our mind is open to everything, so it is big enough to know before we know something. We are grateful even before we have something. Even before we attain enlightenment, we are happy to practice our way. Otherwise, we can't attain anything in its true sense. So, this is actually the basis of our practice.

[24:02]

This is like giving up, letting go of self-centeredness. purpose of practice is to let go of self-centeredness so that we can actually find our center. It's like, you know, reaching for your pillow in the night without knowing exactly where it is. We don't know exactly where we're going. but we make this effort in the dark. So when we allow ourselves to practice together, knowing who we are, knowing that we don't know who we are, knowing that who we are is what we do,

[25:07]

So our participation is our field of practice. This is like a Buddha field that we are all creating together. When we come to the Zen Do, it's very what the practice is, because this field creates an atmosphere for practice, and then you participate in that. Now, when you go out the gate, it's wide open. How do you create practice from that raw material? So, if we are always grounded in our practice, then whatever situation we meet becomes a situation for practice. So practice is continuous. And without having to do something special, when we are grounded in our practice, it

[26:59]

flourishes in our daily life. So, our practice is called, what Dogen called shikantaza. There are many names for this, shikantaza. But it's the samadhi of just doing. just doing, which is a koan in itself. So we have this koan of just doing, but you can't answer that koan, you can only respond to it. You can't say, well, all just doing is... You have to present just doing.

[28:08]

This is our koan. How do we present just doing, or just this? This is called great generosity. Generosity means Just give and forget. There's no giver and no receiver and nothing given. It's just the way we are. This is called non-attachment and renunciation. So when we receive something, thank you. When we receive something that we like, thank you.

[29:17]

When we receive something that we don't like, thank you. I didn't say practice was easy. This is actually why practice is difficult. In Japan, when you say, I do Zen practice, inevitably the response is, difficult. So, I like to tell the story which I've told you many times, but it's, Aesop's Fable. There was once a farmer who had a really nice layout farm and he had three sons and he was about ready to die.

[30:26]

So he called his three sons to him and he said, boys, actually I had two sons and a daughter. He said, boys and girls, there's a treasure hidden in this field on the farm somewhere, and it's ... and then he died. So, the two boys and the girl went out and they said, well, we don't know where it is, but let's start digging. So they went out and they started digging for this treasure. And they dug up the whole place. And they looked at each other and they said, must be somewhere. So they started all over again. Dug up the whole place. And then nothing. And they said, one more time.

[31:28]

So they dug up the whole place. And then the daughter said, Hey, boys, you think... Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't finish. And then, that year, they had the best crop that they ever had in their lives, you know, immense, you know, beautiful vegetables and, you know, a place with just the greatest crop. And she said to that, boys, you think this is what the old man was talking about? when he said, there's a treasure here. So to me, that's the essence of our practice. And sometimes, you know, the Buddha, like in the Lotus Sutra, there are several stories where the Buddha fools people. And he says, if you do this, you'll have that. And so they work for that incentive.

[32:33]

But then he says, well, that's not enough. And then he gives them another little goal. And so, okay, that's not enough. So he keeps leading them with these little false goals that's kind of, they're not exactly fibs, but they're incentives. Suzuki Roshi never used incentives. He said, if you practice, what you have will be practice. If you sit zazen, what the reward will be, will be zazen. If you look for something beyond, it's just delusional. So, this is related to just knowing. It's related to generosity.

[33:38]

Zazen is a great act of dana, generosity. You're simply offering yourself to this activity in order to be free. When we want something, it inhibits our freedom. when we do something in order to gain something, then we get caught by that thing that we gain. So it's not liberation. Liberation is simply offering, giving, and forgetting. So you arise, and when we can give ourself in that way, we arise new on each moment. That's the purpose of practice, to let go and arise new on each moment. and not worry about the insult that you had or the person you don't like or the anger you're harboring and so forth.

[34:44]

Simply let go and arise new on the next moment without carrying around baggage. This is called leaving no trace. And it's how we save ourself and it's how we save the world. Do you have any questions? Yeah. Last fall, Jim Tomlinson, another resident here, and I took a class at Lincoln College, and there was a young man, we were waiting for the bar, and there was a young man, and he said, I don't know, we sit together, you look kind of maybe, are you related? And we said, no, we, you know, live together, we live at the Berkley Zen Center. He said, oh, what do you do there? He said, oh, what do you get from doing that?

[35:48]

Nothing. Why would you do something to get nothing? There was nothing to get. And then we were talking about no gaining idea. So he was a smart guy. And I thought about it for a minute. And he said, I see. So what you get is you learn how to do something without getting anything. It's not so complicated. But people do recognize you, even though you just feel ordinary. That does happen. This is how Bhaika came to practice. She saw us in a restaurant, and she was a waitress. It was like, it was now and then. and our wives. So those are interesting people. So we do have influence in the world, just doing our practice.

[37:04]

Somebody else said, we had an informal meeting the other night, and Jane said, you know, you don't ask for a lot of money, but you ask for a lot of presents. That's true. We don't ask for a lot of money, but we ask for a lot of participation. But the first thing about participation is knowing how much you can actually offer and not going beyond your abilities and getting discouraged. So each person has to define their own way of practicing given their responsibilities and activities. even though when you actually are practicing, Zazen is the center of your life.

[38:15]

Otherwise, you don't get it. And Zazen is not something special. It's simply the ground of your being, and everything comes out of that. So, knowing how much to participate is really the key to practice and shouldn't be ignored. And sometimes people will, because there's a guilt factor that is inherent in the practice, which I think we should be careful of. It's like, oh, I'm not doing enough, or people don't think I'm doing enough, or something like that. And we should be careful not to get caught by that. Whatever you decide that your participation is, you should honor that and not put yourself in a bind by thinking you should do more.

[39:32]

So if you practice, if you decide to practice, to sit at the Zen Dojo once a week and say, that's what I can offer, that's great. You should feel okay with that. Or once a month, or once a year. Or never. On the matter of being an expert and being a beginner, as you know, I teach in a university where being an expert is highly valued and expected. So I was wondering if you have any suggestions about how to be knowledgeable and take care of that and also be a beginner.

[40:36]

Yes. You know, the most wonderful thing, the way to trust a person who is an expert is when they say, I'm just a beginner. then you really feel confidence in that person. That's what I feel, confidence in that person. I feel confidence in a person who is really an expert when they say, I'm just a beginner. Like Suzuki Roshi. I'm just a beginner. Yeah. I do want my heart surgeon to say that. I want him to say, I don't know what I'm doing, but there's a difference between I don't know what I'm doing and I'm a beginner. Even though I don't know what I'm doing, even though I'm a beginner, I know what I'm doing.

[41:37]

Because every time they do something, it's a new beginning. So, yes, we do the same things over and over again, But each time it's new. We can't repeat anything. There's no repetition. But there's a kind of idea of repetition. I do this every day. I go da-da-da, back and forth. The wheels are going around and around. But each time the wheel goes around, it's a different activity. So, the difference and the sameness at the same time. the stillness and the motion at the same time. Yeah? You talked about refusing a job out of ego or concern. What about refusing a job out of humility? If you know your ability would be difficult for the rest of the group or lack of ability?

[42:41]

Well let me say, sometimes we acknowledge someone's ability and have them do something because of that. So it's not just one or the other, right? So it has to be gauged according to what the need is. Yes, and we allow that to happen. And I used to stand up here doing the service and I would start tapping my foot. So, you know, ideally we want to have the expert doing the bhikkhu view. but actually we don't. Otherwise you get into this ability thing and then someone is there because of their ability.

[43:47]

That sometimes is good. We have to have people doing this who are examples of ability to help everybody, but not just keep them there in order to do that. So, you know, for me, great suffering sometimes, because I think, why can't they do that right? But I can't hang on to that. I know better. It's OK. At the end, it's OK. So I just drop it, drop all that. Yeah, because I'm more concerned about the person than I am about what they've done. So, that doesn't help the person for me to get angry, or for me to get, you know, even though that happens. So, patience is generosity, well.

[44:53]

So, You know, because we all have our life in the world, we offer a certain amount of time to PTC. And some of that time we offer is, you know, Zazen and Mizendo. And some of the time we offer is our positions, which aren't necessarily Mizendo. And how do we, should one, should you You know, for example, should you see those as a whole and just kind of let the time fluctuate between them, or should you try to protect whatever your commitment is to Zazen and Zendo, and then fit the position in after that? Let me try again. Yeah. Yeah, let me try again. If you let your position, should your position, should positions take away, say you have a commitment to do Zazen and Zendo every morning of the week,

[46:01]

and then you get some position, which keeps you very busy, so then you only have time to do two mornings a week. Is there potential some kind of harm in that? You know, to use your foundation, your ground, because you're getting busy with responsibilities that are very generous and great offerings, but are taken away from your... Well, a beginner should spend most of their time in the zendo. When you have maturity, then you can spend more time doing other activities, which is also zazen. So when you said harm, I thought of harmony. I don't think about harm, I think about how do you create harmony with what you have. how we create harmony with what we have instead of how we're harming, then that's what we do.

[47:07]

It's simply a mental shift. How we think makes all the difference. If I'm doing dokesan in the morning instead of sitting in the zendo, but I don't see that as harm, I think it's harmony. I'm sitting zazen while I'm talking to someone about their practice. And because we're both sitting zazen and having this dialogue at the same time, to me, it's all one piece. So we have to think of our practices. I remember Suzuki Roshi saying, cleaning first, zazen second. And everybody, what? It's like when we create this differential between zazen and our activity, that's the split.

[48:12]

But if you're only doing this activity and not doing zazen, you probably should get into zendo more. So you have to find the balance. And sometimes it's heavy on one side, sometimes it's heavy on the other side. But when it's heavy on this side and light on that side, there is a balance. So everything has a balance. Any two or three activities all have a way of balancing each other out. And you have to find that balance. That's called finding your composure. When you find your composure, you can balance all those activities without in a harmonious way. The only problem with worrying about if you're having enough is the problem with self. So when you are a mature practitioner, you can let go of sitting all together if you really need to do other things.

[49:30]

because that's your zazen. You find your stillness and empty ground within your activity. It's what we should be doing all the time. Okay. Well, you didn't do it to take pleasure, you just are pleased. Just enjoy yourself.

[50:36]

It's pretty rare, you know, so take advantage of it.

[50:40]

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