It is said in this practice lineage that all Buddha ancestors who correctly transmit the inconceivable Buddha dharma and realize supreme awakening have a very subtle and wondrous way And this way is unmade, uncreated, unfabricated. Only Buddhas transmitted to Buddhas. And its criterion, criterion of this subtle and wondrous dharma is self-fulfilling awareness, which is the samadhi of the self as it receives and accepts

[01:19]

or playing about. And in this samadhi of the self receiving its function, true gait is sitting upright, practicing Zen. This wondrous dharma pervades the entire universe and is the lives of all beings. There's no place it doesn't reach. And all Buddhas dwell in this dharma.

[02:38]

constantly, but they leave no trace of conceptualization or discriminating consciousness in this dharma. Living beings also constantly function in and use and move about in the same wondrous dharma. but this Dharma does not illuminate the perceptions. It illuminates the perceptions of the Buddhas, but the Buddhas leave no conceptualization in it. There's no traces of mind in the Dharma, but the Dharma pervades criterion for judging the realization of this dharma is this samadhi of the self being fulfilled, receiving its function, which is happening all the time.

[04:12]

itself is constantly receiving its function every moment. And the question is whether there is complete absorption in this process wherein there is no discriminating consciousness. Sentient beings are absorbed in a different kind of samadhi. They're absorbed in the samadhi of the self projecting itself, imposing itself on all things. So there are two kinds of meditation.

[05:29]

And in that sense, the word zazen is used in two ways. One way is the zazen in terms of self-awareness, zazen practiced in the realm of the belief in an independent self. Selfish zazen, selfish meditation, self-improvement meditation. The other kind of zazen is selfless. is zazen which is just about developing the entire universe. And it is the awareness of the interdependence.

[06:39]

Usually, When Bilgin Zenji speaks of zazen, the zazen he's talking about is the selfless zazen. Maybe once or twice, here and there, he might have slipped and spoken of zazen view of the self. which lives independent of all things. But usually he's celebrating this zazen, which is this standard for realizing the incomparable dharma. Zazen, which is totally unconfined, all-inclusive, and unmade.

[08:03]

This is Azen of the sixth ancestor, Huineng. has been transmitted as something which originally has nothing to do with mind or self. But having nothing to do with mind or self does not mean it's the slightest bit different from mind or self. Because if it were at all different from mind or self, it would have something to do with mind or self. This unmade, unproduced practice, this unfabricatedness is just the nature of mind itself. But the nature of mind has nothing to do with mind. The nature of mind is the same as the nature of mountains and rivers and the entire land.

[09:25]

The nature of mountains is that mountains are mountains. The nature of mind is that mind is mind. It's unmade. Mountains being mountain is unconstructed. That unconstructedness and stillness is the selfless practice of meditation. Just as mountains sit unselfishly, not trying to gain anything, that's the same samadhi as the Buddha ancestors. However, we must start the practice from where we are now.

[10:35]

And to whatever extent we approach life from the point of view of the independent self, we must honestly admit that. And before we admit it, we must We can't deny our selfishness and then practice unselfishly. If you hear about the unselfish practice which actually verifies comparable Buddha Dharma, you might want to practice that.

[11:43]

This would be a perfectly selfish response, which is fine. Especially if you can admit, I just had a selfish response when I heard that, and I'd like to... This is a self-centered response to those words. If you can completely admit that selfishness which arose when you heard of the incomparable efficacy of selfless practice, that admission is selfless. If that admission is complete. After a work meeting yesterday, I walked down into the walkway and there was a person sitting on the steps. And I asked something like, what are you doing?

[12:51]

How's it going? What's happening? And he said, I just thought I should sit down here for a minute. And I said, that sounds like a good idea. whether selfishly or unselfishly, sit down and see what's happening. And if there's any selfishness, admit it. Of course, there's some problem because if we're selfish, we might not be able to see what's going on. So you might have to sit down for quite a while before you'll be able to notice any selfishness. It might be a really long time because even while we're sitting, checking out what's happening, we're also sitting selfishly protecting ourselves.

[14:01]

If you sit long enough, you'll get to a point where you will admit what you're up to, and that admission then will open the gates to selfless practice. So if you sit in this meditation hall, we have quite a few opportunities for that. And if you sit with any idea to gain something for yourself or improve your own meditation or anything like that, you will not be kicked out.

[15:03]

I personally won't support you being kicked out. You're sitting here selfishly trying to get really concentrated or something like that. It's fine. Selfish beings are encouraged to completely admit full extent of their selfishness. And that is quite difficult because the selfishness is a very extensive situation for almost all . I don't think it's inconceivable how extensive it is.

[16:12]

I think it is conceivable how extensive it is. But it's very thoroughgoing and highly developed. And in some Zen temples throughout the world, it is also allowed that selfish people can practice and continue to deny that they're selfish for a while. It shouldn't be allowed indefinitely, though, I don't think. I think eventually, if a person won't admit that he or she is selfish, they should be put in some kind of isolated area, kicked out of the monastery. because they wouldn't admit they're selfish after, I don't know, depends on the person, how many years you'd let them deny that before telling them to go someplace else since they're perfect.

[17:17]

Some people start out kind of like normal people and then they get perfect for a few years. and then they come out of it. Other people start perfect. Some people never get into it. But the unmade, unconfined realm of the samadhi, which is the standard for judging the supreme dharma, can undo the selfishness. It is exactly

[18:32]

the awareness of selfishness receiving its function as selfishness. But only a selfless practice can support and allow full and precise admission of the current manifestation of selfishness. When that full and precise underdoing, admission of selfishness is realized, this is selflessness, and this is the samadhi of the Buddhas. This awareness of selfishness can be practiced in any situation because selfishness pervades all normal human situations.

[19:52]

But we have a kind of special opportunity offered to observe it. which is clearly for no other purpose than to understand this awareness. And that is the ceremony of sitting meditation. And I've... Talked to you before about the wonderful Chinese character that can be translated as ceremony or deportment. It's a character which is composed half of meaning. Half of character is a character which means meaning. And the other half of the character is person.

[20:58]

Of sitting meditation is a place where the person and meaning are joined, interact. It's a place where the true meaning of the practice interacts. And just as we say in the dual mirror awareness that the meaning in the word, the meaning is not in the ceremony we do here. The meaning is not in the formal posture which we assume and practice. And the person. who performs the ceremony in this traditional fashion.

[22:07]

The meaning is not in the person or in the ceremony, in the form, but the meaning comes forth to meet the effort of the person who performs the ceremony. When the person is dancing with the form, the meaning comes forth. And the meaning comes forth in proportion. If all of the person's energy comes to the ceremony, then all of the meaning of the ceremony and the person, and the person dancing with the ceremony, all the meaning comes and arrives at that time. without taking up residence in the form or in the person.

[23:12]

It completely inundates without getting stuck in it. And the process then is liberated from itself, which liberates the ceremony and the person and everything else in the universe. However, if the person's energy only comes 99% forth, then the meaning only comes 99%. The meaning is very kind. It never outdoes us. It meets us point by point. 80% is meant by 80%. Never more or less. However, if there's 1% missing, variation is sufficient for fitting an entire universe of suffering.

[24:25]

You can pack a whole universe of suffering in that 1% that's being repelled. Of course, you can fit the same universe of suffering in 2% or 10% or 90%. If you don't try at all, that still will be for the world of birth and death and misery and cruelty. But the slightest bit of holding out, you can get the whole world of suffering in there too. But when the effort, when the whole life is full, or in the coming forth of the whole life, there is a coming forth of the full meaning, there is no discrepancy, and birth and death can't get in. And birth and death are totally inundated and liberated too, without being manipulated or tampered with. But there is no foothold for birth and death in this dharma.

[25:30]

And no foothold means also no exclusion of birth and death, no meddling. The question is simply whether there is total devotion to this moment, to this action. When you sit, is that it? When you're selfish, is that it? When you're selfish, is it just selfishness? Or is actually there a kind of like maneuvering around being selfish?

[26:49]

I'm selfish, but if selfishness doesn't work very well, I'm going to hold back a little bit and be a little unselfish too, just in case selfishness doesn't work. See, that's selfishness on top of selfishness. When you join your palms together, which we do quite frequently here, is that it? Is that it? Or is there somebody there still waiting to see if this is going to work? Will they bow back? Will the people bow back? Will the Buddhas bow back? Let's see. Let's check it out. No. That's not it. Plus somebody there joining the palms. Somebody doing something for somebody. Not just joining the palms. And it can be completely.

[27:59]

I join my palms. That's fine. I, me, separate person, join my palms. Is that it? Anything left out? If nothing's left out, and totally just there doing that, even dualistically. That's the gate to awareness. That's how you enter the samadhi, self-receiving dysfunction. The meaning of the practice will come to meet you. However, once again, There's no trace of conceptualization in this meeting session.

[29:01]

There's no trace of discriminating consciousness. Just to come into that meeting and the realization of the meaning and get to say, oh, there it is. No traces of consciousness gets into the gassho, which is just the gassho. Even though that illumination totally pervades the entire being, nothing gets in there. Which is another example of the selflessness, because you do that, though you cannot know about it. This dharma is not known by a person. This dharma is realized by the person who is just the person, which is the Buddha. And also, just to get this on the record, although this practice is selfless and unmade, fabricated beyond causes and conditions by the very fact that it is just whatever causes and conditions are happening being themselves.

[30:33]

That's all it is, and that's exactly the reason why it's beyond them. It's just what's being made being made, and that's how it's unmade. It's just whatever fabrication is happening, and that's how it's unfabricated. Although it's unfabricated, it can talk. It can walk. It can do the laundry. However, this walking and talking and washing comes from unconstructedness in total motionlessness. It's selfless. Being settled in this unconstructed stillness is very close at hand all the time.

[31:39]

And yet to give up worldly affairs, in other words, to give up selfishness and to accept your selfishness, that's very difficult for us to do. very close, and very difficult to attune exactly. But there it is. And we have three months to try to settle the selfish self in the self. Selfish self is right nearby. It's not the slightest bit away from you. And yet, how can you completely accept, settle, witness? How can you give away concerns, except for that settling and accepting, honestly accepting?

[32:45]

How can you give away the selfishness and admit the selfishness? That's what I will And perhaps I should say also that there are many what people might call techniques. for taking up residence in selfish existence, many techniques for grounding ourselves in mud of selfishness, and

[33:52]

These are so important that I think that they are actually a meditation practice of the Buddhas. And in a sense, they are, because the Buddhas must do these grounding practices. But in a sense, these drowning practices are not the meditation which liberates a person. But they must be practiced in order to do the meditation practice which does liberate us. There was a... I guess you could say, I don't know what to say, but if you were a person who was teaching at Green Gulch, I was going to say a Theravadan teacher or a teacher of Vipassana.

[35:00]

And she said at one point, in the midst of teaching many techniques, that all these techniques are not the meditation practice. And yet we must deal with and admit. So it gets a little confusing sometimes, because the actual meditation practice doesn't say that it's different than anything else. It includes all other things. The liberating meditation does not push away, put down any activity of the human being.

[36:05]

And yet there can be an understanding that a particular practice itself is not liberating. The only kind of practice we can do is a practice which is not liberating. The only kind of practice we can do is a selfish practice, a self-centered practice.

[37:18]

That's the only kind of practice we can do. And since we're doing selfish practices all day long, we need to, what do you call it, make a virtue of necessity. We necessarily must do selfish things all day long. So since it's necessary, we make a virtue of these selfish things. And then there are opportunities for liberation. if we simply let them be practices and let those practices which we can do be done completely thoroughly. Then they become points of departure for the liberating practice. But I think we need to understand, I think we need to understand, maybe not, but I'll just put this out and say the opposite.

[38:34]

I think we need to understand that what we're doing is selfish and be willing to wholeheartedly do something that's selfish and a waste of time. Another possibility is you might be able to wholeheartedly do something without knowing. Even though what I just said, whatever you do must be self-centered because in order for you to do something, you have to think that way. You can't do anything without being self-centered. If you weren't self-centered, you wouldn't think that you could do anything. All the things you think you can do are based on self-centeredness. Because aside from that delusion, you never do anything by yourself. In fact, it is not the liberating reality that people can do things alone. The liberating with the meditation that you don't do.

[39:42]

You're doing the meditation which is given to you, which you receive, not the meditation you do. So all day long, you and I do things. So maybe it's possible to wholeheartedly do, you know, completely give yourself to doing something without noticing that it's selfish. That might be possible, but I don't think so. I don't think you will give yourself wholeheartedly to anything until you notice that what it is. Because, this is my proposal, because since you're selfish, you'll always hold back a little on whatever you're doing because you don't trust it.

[40:51]

It's too, it would be unselfish and foolish from the self-centered point of view to give yourself completely to anything. It just doesn't make sense. And you're smart. You would not make that mistake. So you always hold back a little on every selfish thing you do. You selfishly hold back on your selfishness because you know any particular selfish activity might not be beneficial to you. And you're right. So it's wise of you to hold back some of your selfishness to get ready to make a change in case it doesn't work out for you. To take everything and put it into something selfish would not be a good idea for you. But if you selfish, then you might be able to notice, since I'm doing this selfish thing and this selfish thing and this selfish thing, I notice I also hold back and I'm ready to play some other way in case this doesn't work out.

[41:53]

Once you are aware of what you're up to, then you say, oh, look, since this is what I'm up to, I think What I have to do now is do this kind of foolish thing of doing it completely. Just maybe for a second in the middle of a session, just for a second or maybe five seconds, do this foolish thing of doing any selfish act, or whatever anyway, and just give myself entirely to it, plus all my other holds. I'll just toss it all in there. I don't think we'll do that unless we notice that we don't usually do that. This is a pretty good selfish thing, but I know you never can be sure. Just be completely selfish, which means just simply admit that you are.

[42:56]

is unselfish. That is called sitting upright. And that's the gate to the awareness of the self, receiving . OK? So maybe you understand that. I have no idea. But I don't mind going over it again and again. Before we conclude this morning's event here, Dharma event. Yes? Yes? Yes, the practice of being compassionate with yourself and being kind with yourself.

[44:05]

Yes, okay. That's part of this. In order to pull this off, of admitting your selfishness thoroughly, you have to be really kind about this. This meanness in the situation, it's self-conceit. I don't trust this. But there's really a feeling of, you know, this is actually the best thing for you. This is actually not going to hurt yourself at all. This is going to be a good deal to yourself. This thing you ever did for yourself. Because not only are you going to have yourself after it's all over, as usual, but yourself is going to be totally unburdened and free. Totally happy. and be this great thing, which won't even be concerned for how great everybody's going to think you are. And they will. You're going to be free of doing things to get people's approval. You're going to be free of presenting yourself in deceptive ways so that people won't like you.

[45:12]

You're going to be free of hiding how selfish you are because people might punish you if they knew. Plus still be able to be selfish. It's just that you'll be selfish and you'll be admitting it moment by moment. Which is a great way. That's a happy way to be selfish. Honestly selfish. I want this. You know, that kind of thing. Give me the pickles. I want the pickles. I want my hat. Like what is that gorilla, you know, what you mean, Coco? People come and interview her. Good morning, Coco. She says, good morning. Can I have your purse? You know, nicely. Once you're this way, once you're free of selfishness, you can be selfish nicely.

[46:14]

You know, nicely, really nicely. Not deceptively. Well, you know, I'm going to be unselfish, right? I mean, unconsciously, you're totally cruel because you don't admit that you're selfish. Now you can just say, hey, good morning. I want you to know something about myself. I'm selfish and arrogant. I just want you to know that right off. Can I have your purse? What do you have inside? Oh, a barrette. Can I wear it? This is called You don't want the purse for the benefit of all beings. You want the purse to play with. What did you want the purse for? That's where you're at. No problem. When I first came to Zen Center, she told this story about the Zen master who, after the war, Japanese people were hungry. Second World War. One Zen master made friends with this, I think it was a U.S.

[47:17]

admiral or something. The admiral came to see this. Zen Master would say, did you bring me some cakes? You know, as a new Zen student, I thought that was kind of weird. Zen Master would say, can I have my cakes now? All the more, I thought it was weird. Not if he was like, you know, filled the room, you know, like piled to the sky with cakes. And then the admiral came and said, give me my cake so I could see it. But if he's just like a hungry, you know, post-war Zen master, being so concerned with these cakes, I thought, weird, you know. But now I think, you know, Zen master, hungry Zen master, give me the cakes, please, quick. But they know they're selfish. They don't think, oh, this is some, you know, great thing. Just give me the cakes. Please. You did bring them for me, right? This kind of thing. Get that way by being kind to yourself.

[48:21]

Yourself is going to say, no way. You're not going to spill the beans. You're not going to tell other people. We're not going to tell you. You're not going to find out anything about how selfish you are unless you're kind to yourself. You've got all kinds of ways to not show yourself any stuff that you might say might be good for you. If you can't be trusted with your lies, you don't know about them. But if you can be trusted with your lies, if all the lies about yourself, and you would be kind about it, then you can tell, then you can become aware of your lies. And now you can tell other people when it's relevant, like, you know, like, oh, I want this. You can't lie anymore. It was a lie before you were told. Now you're told it's not just a simple fact. No big deal. Ordinary human being. Kindness and gentleness, which we're talking about this, is two together.

[49:24]

Kindness and honesty. You can't have one without the other. You can't have one without Except a very low level of development could have a little bit about being kind, a little bit kind, a tiny bit kind about being honest. But what's to be kind about if there's nothing except about what's honestly the situation, right? To be kind about what's not happening isn't really kind. Yeah, I'll be nice to you as long as you don't tell me who you are. Just lie to me about who you are. Tell me who you are. great this and great that, you know, what a wonderful Zen student. Everybody would be nice to me. You don't have to worry about that. That's not kindness. That's just, you know, more selfishness. But when the activity really had some selfishness revealed and became kind of like that, that would cause more selfishness to be revealed. You basically could tell yourself, no matter how selfish you turn out to be, I'll hang in there with you.

[50:26]

Then little by little, it would come out. Not all at once. I didn't trust this. Try a little bit. That worked. Try a little bit more. Okay. Anybody else? Yes? Yes? Well, the first thing that comes to mind is that, again, to let yourself be the way you are is generosity. is generosity. Not to let your breakfast be your breakfast because somebody's going to come over and whisper in your ear that you're enlightened.

[51:32]

But just let things be the way they are. If you don't have any idea, that's generally true. That's true giving. And there's no gain in that or loss. Is it possible to give to another in a non-gaming way? And what I'm suggesting to you is that part of giving to another in a non-gaining way is to be aware of any selfish motivation that might come up, which almost always comes up. Again, every time you do something, if you do the thing of giving, there's action already.

[52:42]

It's already there. As soon as you think in terms of you give to another... If you actually believe that's happening, then you believe you exist independent of the other. So already, this is a diluted process. If you admit the selfishness that's involved in that action, you feel like, I want to get something back, which is probably there too, because it's how you can extract that from your self-centered system. But even if you don't see that, you can at least see, I think I'm separate. You can admit that. And let that be. That will also be a situation. And that will be the great joy of this little theater piece of you pretending to be an independent person from this other person. It's like a little theater thing. I'm going to be me now, and you're going to be you, and I'm going to give you this thing. We're going to play. And I actually . Then you might also notice

[53:45]

Perhaps not necessarily, you're trying to get something from it as a result of that. But the zazen in the situation, the true generosity, is just what's happening. So if there is any gaining thing going on, the fact that that's that way, and letting it be that way, and honestly admitting that, that's the generosity. And that's the great joy. And that is innovation. But are you present enough to notice the selfishness involved in acts of charity and generosity? So that's why acts of charity and generosity are good to do, because they actually bring to light, I'm doing that. And also, I'm doing this to gain this thing for me.

[54:46]

I'm doing this to see the look on my grandchildren's face. I'm doing this for the love that they'll have for me afterwards. Oh, grandpa, you're the greatest. All that kind of stuff. What are you doing this for? And not being cruel to myself and saying, you bad grandpa, you selfish grandpa, trying to manipulate these kids by giving them presents. No. We have a selfish grandpa coming in with all these great presents, watching these kids, manipulating these kids. That's what's happening. We're committing this. And it's not this selfish manipulation of people that they're giving. That is like the ground in which the actual practice of giving happens. You don't have to bring them. You can also think of giving the Tassajara National Forest away to a friend. Say, here, you own the forest now.

[55:48]

Just think of that. And you can do that and realize there's selfishness in there and the admission of selfishness. And letting yourself be a selfish person, letting what you give be what it is, letting it all be, that's what giving is. That's the freedom from selfishness. But it comes from admitting the selfishness. We have to start. And until further notice, it looks like where we are is we are in the samadhi. We're absorbed in this belief in self. We're naturally yogis of self-centeredness. People want to practice concentration. They can't get concentrated. They're totally concentrated on their self-concern, including they're totally concentrated on trying to be able to do the Zen meditation or whatever.

[56:54]

People are concentrated, absorbed in self-concern. Deeply. I mean, not just up in the head, you know, across the... in the intellectual realm, in the tissue. In your tissue, you're a yogi of self-centeredness, as far as I can tell. I mean, some people have gotten beyond that so that they have no problem drinking gallons of other people's saliva. But most people... Most people have not got to that point. And the people who can do that are people who have faced that interface, who have faced the visceral cellular repulsion of the ungoverned other. The people who have faced that and embraced that and got close to that, that's selfishness.

[57:59]

But they got there by admitting that they were selfish humans. I haven't heard of any that have got there without going down to the ground of admitting normal human selfishness. If you just admit your great relative powers, you will become harmless and a great beneficence in the cosmos. But it's not easy to thoroughly admit what you're up to. It's not easy to catch up with this fantastic group. But it's possible. It's possible to give with selflessness if you can admit how selfishly you give everything. And give up the joy of going around thinking that you're going to make these donations selflessly. It doesn't mean it goes away.

[59:02]

You still feel it. Watch the little faces. You still feel it. But you give it up. But you don't throw it away. You just give it up. You give it up in the process of admitting what you're actually up to. So this way, you get your cake and you can eat it too. The other way, you just got to eat the cake. or difficult, couldn't help but choose. This way you could bolt. But you have to tell the truth about what you're up to. And for starters, you can admit it once in a while. But in order to go really deep and make sure it's 100%, you kind of have to do it, I think, pretty much nonstop. Because if you take breaks, then maybe you're taking a break take breaks all the time. So it's hard to really get into it and just be the evil one walking around.

[60:09]

Anything else now? No less? It's 10 more or less.

[60:24]

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