I vow to taste the truth and vow to talk it to the spirits. Good morning. Good morning. Today, can you hear me? Is this on and up? Okay. Today, I'm going to talk about, comment on a talk of Suzuki Roshi's, which is labeled, wherever you are, enlightenment is there. So he says, in our practice, the most important thing is to realize that we have Buddha nature. Suzuki Roshi and other teachers in our school have said that it's really not possible to practice unless we have faith in our Buddha nature, faith in our true nature.

[01:16]

So faith actually is a big part of our practice. Matter of fact, sometimes faith It's said that faith itself is enlightenment, but faith has several connotative meanings. Not faith in something in particular, but Buddha nature isn't something in particular. not describable, but since all things exist interdependently, and since this great interdependent mass of existence

[02:27]

is our true body. To have faith in this true body is not unreasonable. Buddha nature is not describable, but we recognize it through all of its manifestations. So we say there's the gateless gate. You can enter anywhere. There's no place you can't enter. And if we trace anything to its source, we find our nature, our Buddha nature.

[03:31]

So we can recognize Buddha nature with our naked eye just by seeing the reality of each thing. That's why Suzuki Roshi often talks about seeing things as it is, When we see things as it is, it means we see the Buddha nature, which is the essence of each thing. But we don't see something called essence. We simply see the reality of each thing. Not in a scientific way, necessarily, but in a subjective way. So he says, Intellectually, we may know this, but it is rather difficult to accept. Our everyday life is in the realm of good and bad, the realm of duality, while Buddha nature is found in the realm of the absolute, where there is no good or bad.

[04:41]

There is a two-fold reality. He says it in this way, it would sound dualistic. Actually, Buddha nature includes. the realm of good and bad and duality. But he says there is a two-fold reality, which is, of course, the objective and the subjective. There's the objective reality, which is the realm of things and existence, the existent things. And the subjective reality, which is the nature, beyond good and bad, and beyond division, beyond discrimination. So we have these two truths, or two aspects of reality, and sometimes we get confused because of that.

[05:42]

So subjective reality and objective reality. If we stick to subjective reality, then we're ignoring how things operate in this world. And if we stick to objective reality, we miss the essence of each thing's reality. So, two sides of reality, subjective and objective. multiplicity and non-duality. So he says Hashimoto Roshi, a famous Zen master who passed away in 1965, said that the way we Japanese cook is to prepare each ingredient separately. Rice is here and pickles are over there.

[06:48]

But when you put them in your tummy, you don't know which is which. The soup, the rice, the pickles, and everything gets all mixed up. That is the world of the absolute. As long as rice, pickles, and soup remain separate, they are not working. And you are not being nourished. That is like your intellectual understanding or book knowledge. It remains separate from your actual life. So things have to lose their form before they become effective. Everything has to lose its form before it becomes effective, before it can really function. So even as we move, we are losing our form and transforming. So transformation is energy, creates energy. And transformation is change.

[07:52]

Everything is constantly changing. And this is how everything becomes nourished. When things don't change, nourishment doesn't happen. So we have all these separate things. But unless they're working together, As the example in the tummy, the tummy is actually a cooking pot. It's very warm down there and there are various juices that create this transformation. So we have this a big pressure cooker, big or small, inside our body, which transforms all of these separate entities and they lose their identity. And then they can actually create something.

[08:53]

So Zen practice is mixing the various ways we have of understanding and letting it all work together. A kerosene lamp will not work merely because it is filled with kerosene. It also needs air for combustion, and even with air, it needs matches. By the aid of matches, air, and kerosene, the lamp will work. This is our Zen practice. So, he says we put it all together, and we, just to be able, just to sit up straight is good, but it also needs attention to breath, attention to thinking, attention to alignment, all these qualities together create zazen, not just one part. So sometimes people think that just to sit down is zazen, just to sit down and go limp.

[10:05]

But that's not tsa-zen. It's not enough. In the same way, even though you say, I have Buddha nature, that alone is not enough to make it work. If you do not have a friend or a sangha, it won't work. When we practice with the aid of the Sangha, helped by Buddha, we can practice Zazen in its true sense. Then you will have bright light here in the Tassajara Zendo, or in our daily life." So he leaves out Dharma. He says, Buddha and Sangha. But Dharma is actually the practice. Dharma is your activity in practice, aided by Buddha. Buddha is your teacher or your example or your inspiration.

[11:11]

And Dharma and Sangha is your community. So, you may have Buddha nature, but it needs a fertile ground to manifest. It's like, you know, in order for your Buddha nature to come forth and manifest and become apparent, it needs this fertile ground. So to have a so-called enlightenment experience is, of course, important. But what is more important is to know how to adjust the flame in zazen and in our everyday life. It's an enlightenment experience. We may have enlightenment experiences that we don't realize. And we may have enlightenment experiences which are very strong and graphic and have a big impact on our life.

[12:24]

But what is more important is how we adjust the flame, how we bring all these elements together and practice harmoniously with them. Sometimes people have an outstanding enlightenment experience, but because they don't have a practice, a harmonious practice, a fertile ground in which to nurture that experience, it fades or it becomes ungrounded and actually can cause more harm than good. Someone can be very eccentric and have this experience and we may think, well, that experience should balance them, but maybe, but often not. So to have a fertile ground or a practice that one is grounded in can contain an enlightenment experience so that it becomes nurtured and valuable.

[13:45]

So when the flame is in complete combustion, you don't smell the oil. When it is smoky, you will smell something. You may realize that it is a kerosene lamp. When your life is in complete combustion, you have no complaint, and there is no need to be aware of your practice. If we talk too much about zazen, it is already a smoky kerosene lamp, or if we talk too much about enlightenment. Suzuki Roshi used to criticize a lot of these enlightenment experiences that people, a lot of Zen masters would verify someone's enlightenment experience, but he said, I think most of those enlightenment experiences are not what people think they are. And if you really are, have, when your life is in complete combustion, when everything is working together, harmoniously, and there's no smoke, no dragging, no partial combustion, then you're not even aware of your practice.

[15:05]

I remember Suzuki Roshi saying, when you go out into the world from the zendo, don't even think about practice. Just do what you have to do. Just live your life. People say, well, I forget to practice. People have loose ends. But if you actually have faith in that, and put yourself into what you're doing totally so that there's no leaking and there's no partial combustion, then whatever you do is practice. But if you say that whatever I do is practice, and you're not practicing, that's not practice. So he says, maybe I am a very smoky kerosene lamp. I don't necessarily want to give a lecture.

[16:08]

He's doing this. This is a talk he gave at Tassajara. So he's talking about at Tassajara. He says, I just want to live with you, moving stones, having a nice hot spring bath, and eating something good. Zen is right there, but here he is right in the middle of the community, so he's actually demonstrating his ease within practice. When I start to talk, it's already a smoky kerosene lamp. As long as I must give a lecture, I have to explain, this is right practice, this is wrong, this is how you practice Zazen. It's like giving you a recipe. It doesn't work. You cannot eat a recipe. So, he's always giving the suggestion, always kind of pointing to things, but not really saying, do this, do that, this is how you do this, this is how you do that, this is right, this is wrong. So, he's acting out as a living demonstration of practice, and those people who understand it will get it.

[17:19]

But for some people it goes over their head. Some people will pick up, and other people will want something more. How do you do this? How do you do that? But that's not easy to explain. Usually, a Zen master will say, practice Zazen, and then you will attain enlightenment. If you attain enlightenment, you will be detached from everything, and you will see things as it is. Of course, that is true, but our way is not always so. We are studying how to adjust the flame of our lamp back and forth. Dogen Zenji makes this point in the Shobo Genzo. His teaching is to live each moment in complete combustion, like a lamp or a candle. To live each moment becoming one with everything is the point of his teaching and his practice. So

[18:23]

Suzuki Roshi once said, of course we should have an enlightenment experience on each moment. This is how you have an enlightenment experience, moment to moment. Not something special, but something that's your normal life. So as long as we're expecting something, nothing will happen. This is called the practice without expectation, which is the hardest practice of all. This is why practice is difficult, because it's the practice without expectation. You just simply do the practice for the sake of the practice. Enlightenment is not something you grab and extract. It's within the combustion. When everything is in perfect combustion, harmonious and focused, enlightenment is there.

[19:30]

So moment to moment, we have an enlightenment experience. And then there may be a moment when you don't. So this is why, how you can trust that practice and enlightenment, practice is enlightenment and enlightenment is found within practice. We don't practice to attain enlightenment. We practice the practice of enlightened practice. Without expecting anything, Even though I'm not enlightened, I can practice. It's more important, actually. The important thing is how we live our life. So Zen practice, Zazen practice, is a very subtle thing.

[20:38]

When you practice Zazen, you become aware of things you did not notice while you were working. Today, I moved stones for a while, and I didn't realize that my muscles were tired. But when I was calmly sitting zazen, I realized, oh, my muscles are in pretty bad condition. I felt some pain in the various parts of my body. You might think you could practice zazen much better if you had no problem. But actually, some problem is necessary. It doesn't have to be a big one. Through the difficulty you have, you can practice zazen. This is an especially meaningful point, which is why Dogen Zenji says, practice and enlightenment are one. Practice is something you do consciously, something you do with effort. Right there is enlightenment. So without effort, it's not zazen. So effort is to stay focused, to sit up, to keep your mudra from falling apart, to give yourself zazen instruction continuously, to give yourself zazen instruction continuously and not let yourself just get lazy and think.

[22:02]

Well, I don't know. Why do I have to keep this form? I can just sit here. That's smoking. It's very smoky. To really find your true combustion, where there's no smoking, we should put up a sign that says no smoking. You put effort into your posture. really sit up, make big effort to sit up straight, and keep the form of zazen. And that's giving yourself zazen instruction moment to moment. That's effort. Without that effort, there's some form of zazen, but it's not complete. There are many places where people just sit any way they want, which is okay, but it's not zazen.

[23:07]

When we really sit strong zazen, then we have lots of energy. It induces energy. Sometimes people say, Sashin, I feel so tired. But basically, you should feel energized if you're doing Zazen correctly. So many Zen masters missed this point while they were striving to attain perfect Zazen. Things that exist are imperfect. That is how everything actually exists in this world. Nothing we see or hear is perfect. But right there, in the imperfection, is perfect reality. It is true intellectually and also in the realm of practice.

[24:14]

It is true on paper and true with our body. So even though we can't sit perfectly, we make the effort to do that. You know, there's no perfect posture that we can keep, because our posture is always changing. As soon as we have perfect posture, it changes. So we have to keep renewing our activity moment by moment. and this renewing our activity moment by moment, adjusting our self moment by moment, that's enlightened practice. But if you say, this is enlightenment, then it's no longer enlightenment. It's just practice.

[25:16]

The thing is, we want to peek at enlightenment to see what it looks like. but as soon as you start to peek, it's no longer there. You can be it, but don't try to see it. As soon as you become self-conscious about it, it's no longer there. So you may think that you can only establish true practice after you attain enlightenment, but it's not so. True practice is established in delusion, in frustration. If you make some mistake, that is where to establish your practice. There is no other place for you to establish your practice. So this is continuous effort. We make mistakes. That's where we put our practice. That's our practice, right there. You may think, oh, I'm no good. I keep making these mistakes.

[26:19]

I'm not good enough to practice. No. The problem you have is the vehicle for your practice. So we talk about enlightenment, but in its true sense, perfect enlightenment is beyond our understanding, beyond our experience. Even in our imperfect practice, enlightenment is there. We just don't know it. So the point is to find the true meaning of practice before we attain enlightenment. Wherever you are, enlightenment is there. If you stand up right where you are, that is enlightenment. That is, if you really stand up right where you are. This is called, I don't know, zazen. We don't know what zazen is anymore. I don't know who I am. To find complete composure, you don't know, when you don't know who you are or where you are, that is to accept things as it is.

[27:23]

This is like Bodhi Dharma's, I don't know. Even though you don't know who you are, you accept yourself. That is you in its true sense. When you know who you are, that you will not be the real you. You may overestimate yourself quite easily, but when you say, I don't know, then you are you, and you know yourself completely. That is enlightenment. So when we say, I know who I am, maybe, but that limits your understanding. That limits your knowing who you are because there's no way to know who you are. There's a koan, who am I? But this is an endless, if you understand that this is an endless koan that has no definitive answer, then it's okay. But if you think someday I'll know through this koan that who I am, you may or may not.

[28:31]

A better koan is, what am I doing? Or what is this? What am I doing always brings us back to the present. So a koan that always brings us back to the present is a very good koan. But who am I can become very philosophical. So we say not knowing is the highest knowledge. I don't know who I am, but I do know what I'm doing. I hope.

[29:39]

So to find this composure when you don't know who you are or where you are, So he says, I think our teaching is very, very good. But if we become arrogant and believe in ourselves too much, we will be lost. There will be no teaching or no Buddhism at all. So Suzuki Roshi felt that Buddhism is very good, but not because it's the best. It may not be the best, but because it works. and because it's not finished. Although Buddhism is totally complete, it's not finished. And each one of us must find it ourself. Each one of us must try to find what the meaning of Buddhism is by ourself, even though we hear a talk or read a book or we use fancy words like emptiness and non-duality and

[30:54]

so forth, we really need to find out ourselves what Buddhism really is, what Buddhadharma really is, experientially. So it's not complete. I mean, it's not finished, even though it's complete. But each one of us has to find that completeness for ourselves. So when we find the joy of our life in our composure, we don't know what it is. When we don't understand anything, then our mind is very great and very wide. It's like reaching for the pillow in the night. When you don't know where it is, your whole body mind is fully functioning. Our mind is open to everything, so it is big enough to know before we know something.

[32:07]

We are grateful even though before we have something, we're grateful. You know, there's that line in the precepts, in the 10, in the clear mind precepts, to honor the gift not yet given. To honor the gift not yet, I always wondered, what does that mean? Even before we have something, we appreciate what we don't have yet. Even before we attain enlightenment, we are happy to practice our way. Otherwise, we can't attain anything in its true sense. So I was very gullible, and I swallowed Suzuki Roshi's words. And that was my food for a long time. But I never worried about enlightenment, so I guess that's why I'm not enlightened.

[33:16]

But something I never worried about, I just always felt that I have some kind of faith. I don't know in what. I can't say that it's Buddha nature or enlightenment or anything. I don't know what it is. But you know, there are faith types and doubt types. And Suzuki Roshi was a faith type. Dogen was a faith type. People who just naturally manifest optimism. And Rinzai was a doubt type. Doshan was a doubt type. Hakuin, I think, was a doubt type, and these are people who need some kind of strong experience in order to dispel their doubts. So we have these two different types, and Suzuki Roshi is speaking from this position, I think, of being a faith-type person. And I think Soto Zen is pretty much based on faith-type principles because of Dogen.

[34:24]

And because of Rinzai and Hakuin, we have the koan system. And yet with Dogen, he did start out with a long quest. Right. Right, he did have a question. Like, if all beings have Buddha nature, why do we have to do anything to do it? Why do we have to seek it? Why do we have to practice, actually? That was his question. That's the way his question is framed. If everyone has Buddha nature, why do we have to practice? So why do we have to practice to attain something? And then when he went to China, that's what he He discovered that practice and enlightenment are always together.

[35:27]

Practice brings forth buddha nature, and buddha nature is the expression of practice. But it's true. It doesn't mean there's no doubts. It just means doubt type or faith type. I think even though Dogen had his doubt, he was still a faith type person. But Rinzai also definitely advocated faith as the expression of enlightenment. I mean, all Zen masters advocate faith as an expression of enlightenment.

[36:33]

But one of the tenets of Soto Zen is that in order to practice, it's necessary to have faith in our Buddha nature. So Suzuki Roshi is always talking about Zazen is simply returning to our true nature, resuming, he uses the words resuming our true nature. So resuming our true nature means having faith in Buddha nature. So Zazen is simply total faith because you're letting go of everything and putting yourself in the hands of whatever it is. There's no seeking. There's no fear. There's nothing but resting comfortably

[37:42]

in your true nature, in Buddha nature. And you may not even know that you have faith. You may not even think of it that way. You may even deny it, but you still have it. Suzuki Roshi talked about it, like being in the hand, sitting in the palm of your, like a bird sitting in the palm of your hand, or like sitting in your mother's, resting in your mother's bosom, or having that composure which is the faith that Buddha nature is supporting everything. Things are anomalous.

[39:29]

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