This is the beginning of the year and I just want to set a tone for the beginning of the year for our practice. And from time to time, I talk about this list of ways of letting go, which John Rubin gave me some time ago. And I've talked about it before, but I want to elaborate on it Again, you probably forgot all about it. So, I've been thinking about this, various ways, what it means to let go.

[01:11]

But when I, I like this, but as well as letting go, there must be ways of taking up as well. So, really this is a list not just of letting go, but also how to take up, how to hold something and let go at the same time. How to hold something and let go at the same time? What is there to hold to and what is there to let go of? So, I see this as how, you know, we talked about abiding in our essential nature. The sixth ancestor, Hui Neng, talks about not straying from our essence of mind. And Suzuki Roshi talked about it in the same way, by saying you should always abide in your big mind, not stray from your big mind, through all of our activity.

[02:23]

So I see this as 15 ways to not stray from our essence of mind, or how to practice within our big mind. You know, it's the same with breathing. It's a wonderful way to look at this, because exhaling is letting go. Inhaling is taking up. When we concentrate on our breathing, we usually concentrate, we do, in Zazen, concentrate on the out-breath, the exhale. When we concentrate on the exhale, we let everything go. And someone said that when you actually let go, when you exhale and let go, then your heart actually stops for a moment, and then you inhale again.

[03:36]

And Suzuki Roshi said that, like to say that, more important than inhaling is exhaling, but you can't prove that. They're equal, actually, but he put that emphasis, putting the emphasis on letting go, so that you're always emptying out. And then, strangely enough, you come back to life. So, inhaling, exhaling is how we study birth and death. There's a continuous, birth and death is continuous, even when there's no breathing. And so the other side of that is, or another way of expressing it is wisdom and compassion.

[04:39]

We talk about essence, when we say essence of mind, this is more abstract in a sense. It seems abstract, it's like emptiness. And then there's emptiness or there's essence of mind and function. Essence and function. Essence is the background, so to speak, and function is the activity. So we say wisdom or prajna is How we express the essence of mind is through wisdom, and the function of wisdom is compassion. So how do we let go, which is actually wisdom, and at the same time hold what's necessary, which is compassion? So in other words, how can we actually relate and help each other and help ourselves through wisdom and compassion?

[05:52]

And I also like to think of this as how we maintain composure. Maintaining composure is like how we balance our feelings and emotions and our thoughts. so that we never can be upset thoroughly. We may become upset, but we always find our way. This is composure. We can always come back up. these 15 practices of letting go and taking up or sustaining. So the first one is to let go does not mean to stop caring. It means I can't do it for someone else.

[07:00]

So this is actually the essence of our teaching. is that practice is something that you have to do yourself and no one can do for you. Your life has to be lived by you and nobody can live your life for you. And sometimes, you know, within our practice, it looks like the teacher is not caring about you. because the teacher will not answer all of your questions the way you want them answered or take your side in every instance. Sometimes when people have problems with each other or want some verification for themselves

[08:08]

they'll come to the teacher and the teacher will not agree with who they think they are. But that doesn't mean the teacher doesn't care. It looks like rejection. It looks like rejection. And we do that with each other. We have some kind of disagreements with each other. And it looks like we don't care about the person from their point of view, but actually the friend or the teacher is very compassionate, being very compassionate by being straightforward. What is compassion? That's a great question. Sometimes what looks like rejection is actually compassion. Sometimes it looks like criticism, sometimes we may criticize, but it's actually compassion.

[09:16]

Sometimes we reject certain aspects of a person, but it's really compassion. It's something that the person has to work with. So it looks like maybe we're not caring, but actually it's compassion. This happens quite frequently. So the teacher will throw the student back on themselves. This is something you must deal with. I can't give you this. I can only give you my support and my caring. So it doesn't mean that we're not caring. We're letting go and helping the person by not helping.

[10:23]

So number two, to let go is not cutting myself off. It's the realization that I can't control another person. Suzuki Roshi has a well-known statement that you should give a cow a wide field, you cower your horse a wide field, in order for them to find themselves. But it doesn't mean the teacher is not caring about the person. Although you give the student a wide field, you always know where the student is. you're not unaware of what's going on or what's happening and you're always ready to help the student at just the right moment. But timing is very important in dealing with a student or your friend or you know how do you

[11:35]

We say that a teacher fishes with a straight hook. The fish has to jump on. You can't control the fish. The fish has to want something. You can't really control that, but you're always willing to help. You don't cut yourself off. But sometimes it looks like it. Sometimes, you know, there are many stories about the teacher's coldness, coolness to a student. Sometimes when a student wants too much, you have to be a little cold, a little cool. Then they feel that it's rejection.

[12:43]

But it's not rejection. It's simply teaching about space. Teaching about relations, how to relate. We're actually all the time teaching each other how to relate. Every time we meet somebody, or have an interaction, we're teaching each other how to relate to each other. And if you don't get the cues, then sometimes you have to be cool. So we have to be sensitive to how we're teaching each other all the time, how to relate to each other. I teach you how to relate to me, and you teach me how to relate to you. But we don't think that that's what we're doing. We're just doing it. And the third one is to let go, is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences. In other words, leaving someone to learn from their mistakes.

[13:51]

How to allow someone to, you know, you see someone's going off, and you can say something, but you can't really control that. And you have to be able to contain it. I know what's going to happen. Boom. But it's like when you have, you know, teaching the baby to walk, or allowing the baby to walk, you know they're going to fall down, but you let them do that, because if they don't fall down, they can't get up by themselves. So actually letting something happen that you would rather not, you'd rather not let that happen, but it's in the person's interest to let it happen. That's difficult. So our We want to express our compassion and our help. But sometimes when we do that, we prevent the person from learning something or actually progressing.

[14:58]

One controversial, it used to not be controversial, but one controversial example is teaching people to sit tazen. When I was learning to sit Zazen, we never put any props under our knees. We'd sit like this, you know. But eventually, if you keep doing it, your knees will go down. And then, little by little, you'll be able to progress in your sitting position. And that's the way we learned how to sit. Nowadays, people are compassionate. When they do Zazen, they say, well, put some big cushions under your knees, so it won't hurt. But it has to hurt. If you don't let it hurt, you can't really sit Zazen. So you have to learn how to receive pain without being caught by it.

[16:06]

And to be able to receive pain without being caught by it is Zazen. Otherwise, you can't learn how to develop true composure. So it's a kind of hindrance, even though it looks like a help. So there are many, many examples of this in our lives. Then, to let go, I just want to say something which I've been forgetting. To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands. So the letting go is one side, but to admit powerlessness is taking up and holding, actually.

[17:16]

realizing that I can't do anything about this situation. And what do I do? And actually, this is Atman. Essence of Atman is I can't do anything about this situation. I can't, I'm powerless. But then when you admit your powerlessness, you find your power. When you can Realize you, you know, when we first start to sit Zazen, we fight the pain. It's natural. We just fight it. I'm going to stick this out. And of course, pain always wins. When you fight it, it always wins. Because it's all the way to the whole universe sitting on your legs. The only way you can deal with that is to let go. because you're powerless. And when you let go, you equalize the weight of the universe.

[18:21]

Number five, to let go is not to try to change or blame another. It's to make the most of myself. So letting go is not to try to change or blame another, and to hold or take up is to make the most of myself. And, you know, when you, during your Hatsushishin, I talked, read the Sixth Ancestor's Kanta, his long poem, in which he emphasizes, don't blame others. Just stay in your own practice. You may see, don't look at the faults of the world. It doesn't mean that you don't see the faults of the world, but instead of trying to fix the faults of the world, or blame others, work on yourself. Because when we work on ourselves, that influences the world.

[19:36]

Blaming others is not a good influence, but working on ourselves influences everyone around us. The influence that we project or just that is projected from us influences others. This is why, you know, when we say, well, who's a teacher, you know, we don't always know who teachers are. Sometimes a teacher looks like the worst student. It's true. It's not the one who knows the most. is the person who really is totally dedicated to their practice, and their practice may be the hardest, they may have the most difficult time. The person who has the most difficult time, but is totally dedicated, is the best teacher. People who have an easy time are not good teachers.

[20:39]

Not good teachers, but generally speaking, that person that has the most difficult time and who really puts themselves into the practice is the best teacher. But we're all good teachers because we all have difficult time. We do. Everybody has a difficult time. But staying with the practice and staying with the difficulty, using the difficulty, That's what makes a teacher. So sometimes I've been giving people a green rock suit as a lay recognition of practice. People who have practiced a long time and who are a good example of practice. And I say, well, what does this mean?

[21:41]

Well, what it means is that unbeknownst to you, your practice is exemplary. And that's what influences us. That's what makes the practice work. So it's not what you know or how smart you are. how you express the essence of practice through your life. So the sixth one is, to let go is not to care for, but to care about. That's interesting. Not to care for, but to care about. I'm not sure I understand that completely.

[22:44]

I think they're both important. To care for is important and to care about is also important. But I think you can care for people, but you may not care about them. True care is like caring about. But you can do something, maybe for the money, or to support yourself, or maybe you're a nurse or a doctor and you see these patients, but you don't care about them. You're caring for them, which is okay, but it's not the same. It's not as deep as true compassion. To let go is not to fix, but to be supportive.

[23:55]

How often we want to fix something. How do you really help somebody? That's the big question in Zen. How do you really help somebody? One extreme answer is you can't really help anybody. But you can support everyone. And indiscriminate compassion is to simply support everyone. You know, we support our group, or our friends, or our family, or our lovers, or whatever. But how wide is our support really? How far-reaching is our support? Metta is like wide-reaching support for everyone.

[25:02]

It's indiscriminate. Do we support our enemies or do we slay them? That's an interesting question. We would rather slay them. You know, this brings us into the realm of the Middle East, right? Instead of working things out, it's just reaction, emotional reactions. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, blow for blow, I think that the world is beginning to focus on this. As the world shrinks, the eyes of the world are focusing on this one spot. And some people blame one side, some people blame the other side. And it's so tangled and mixed and impossible.

[26:10]

Someone has to start repenting. The only way that anything will happen, someone has to be the first one to say, to back down. But then you lose your honor. How do you back down or give up without losing your honor? That's the big question. if you are all these people that are sacrificing their lives for whatever their cause is, then you have to honor all those people and you can't let go. So the conditions become worse and worse.

[27:20]

Someone has to be able to let go and at the same time support something. But it can't happen until there is... I don't believe it can happen until... People let go. They have to let go of practically everything and start new. Let go of their religious beliefs. And find out what is the essence of their religious beliefs. And it probably doesn't have anything to do with what they're doing. They've lost their footing.

[28:21]

altogether. They've strayed from the essence of mind and they can't include each other in their big mind. So they care for of their families and their country, but they don't care about everyone else. So, number eight is to let go is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being. We have to recognize that everybody is not just like me. And yet, everyone is.

[29:25]

Actually, everyone is just like me. I remember Suzuki Roshi talking about Japan and America. He said, you think that, you know, Japanese people think that Americans are different, Americans think that Japanese are different, but actually they're all the same. There are differences. But they're really all the same. We're all the same. So how do we include everyone in our big mind? And how do we allow others to be themselves? We have a lot of judgment, actually, on people's behavior. But to some extent, Japanese people seem to accept each other's They say, well that's just the way he is, or that's just the way she is. And they work with that.

[30:27]

We work with others' differences instead of trying to make everybody be like us. And I think that's also, you know, the essence of how we conduct our practice. we don't try to make everybody be the same, even though when we come to the Zen Do, we all sit in the same way, you know, in the monastic life, we all wear the same clothes, and it looks like you're making everybody be the same, but within that conformity, everyone stands out as different, and you see the and enjoy the differences in everybody, enjoy that someone is not like me, even though I may feel repulsed. There are repulsive things going on, but I can accept that.

[31:27]

We have to be, I mean, I think, I have to be very open to how people actually are before, so I can understand them. Otherwise, we just kind of cut things off, cut people off, and we live in our little channel. So, how are we doing, Jake? Start after. Okay. Well, I'm going to start at the bottom. The last one is to let go, is to fear less and to love more. I think that's a big one, how we fear less and love more and we drive, you know, in the last eight years we've been people that the society has been coerced into fearing more and loving less and we have to open that up so that we fear less

[32:36]

And a little more, you know, if you hit a hornet's nest with a stick, you have to expect that the hornets are going to come out and sting you. And as we keep exacerbating the hornet's nest, putting them all back in there is going to be really hard. So, the 14th one is to let go is not to regret the past, but to grow and move for the future. This is called, you know, our past. True repentance is like to turn around, to repent, means turning around and going straight without looking back. She had an example, a simile, of a woman in Africa or China or someplace walking with a jar on her head.

[33:49]

Yeah, they do. And the jar falls off the head and smashes on the ground. And she just keeps walking ahead. Doesn't look back. Just keeps going. It reminded me, I'll tell you this little story. When I was in Hawaii once, a long, long time ago, many years ago, maybe 50, well, 40, 50, 45. Anyway, I can't remember that far back. We went to the beach. It was very isolated. There was a restroom. It was getting late. There was nobody around. No telephones, no cars, nothing. And I went into the restroom and somehow the lid for the toilet, for the water closet was up or something and it dropped.

[34:49]

Anyway, it dropped. I dropped it. And it fell into the water tank and broke. And then the water just kept coming out. And I was sweating and everything. There was no way to turn it off. And there was nobody to call and nothing. And so there I was. This is a great example of admitting that I was totally helpless. And so I just got out of the car and ran away. Anyway, that's the end of my show. And please take care of yourselves. I want to mention that I will be eligible for the available for the discussion after tea in here.

[36:06]

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