tom came back
and start practicing again so
yeah
so
and her husband is he a
sandy is a wonderful painter
the objective painter which is what i used to be so i haven't they kind of affinity with him
but what i was a paperback in their fifties and sixties
so
and at during this practice period
we will
ah
a study the tensile kilcoyne have a dog and zingy kenzo kilcoyne mean his best erdogan's ah
am
advice i can she call it
to the head cook for ten
ah
this just a okay kilcoyne is
schaefer is not alone but
if very pithy because
it brings up brings forth
dawkins understanding of practice as
enlightenment
not seeking enlightenment but bringing forth enlightenment through our practice
so i'm tucked up before is such a seminal piece that
i think we need to continuously review it
every time we will review it we enter it
so it's not just an intellectual
steady it's how we actually do sir
so can kilcoyne is
how we practice and i've everyday life
as activity no suzuki or people said that
used to sit back and is when slick ago she came to america there were a number of
zen masters who came mostly that so the rinzai zen teachers
such a regular she was like
the anchor for the photos and teaching
in san francisco
and they were always
the teachers were often or always emphasizing can show will have an enlightening experience
can have an enlightenment thing they drove their students to have enlightenment experiences
suzuki roshi
the practice itself was enlightenment we didn't have to drive ourselves to practice in likely to drive us to have an enlightenment experience because all of our experiences are enlightenment experiences he should we should have an enlightenment experience moment by moment
why try to create some
special thing
the people would come to him sometimes they will relay their site there no enlightenment experiences to him
and he'd listened to them and lily say
yes and yes yes end
and they can never answer
he would say most of your enlightenment experiences so-called or fall short
some people would say well you know different sort of the game a tragic hero she never got enlightened that note with the kennel
now that can win around people who say like he never got enlightened
and
ah but he didn't even ever talks about enlightenment how can you teach you teach you never talks about enlightenment
ah you know those who talk about it
don't have it and those who have it don't talk about it
so for suzuki roshi and for dogan and for ah many good teachers
the
enlightenment
is within your activity is not in your head matter of fact if you think you have it you don't have it
got any idea we have about enlightenment is just an idea about enlightenment the thaw
any idea we have about anything is just an idea about anything
so
enlightenment is brought forth through practice
in practice verifies your enlightenment
and this is duggan's understanding and as such as zero she's understanding so if you're talking about enlightenment he would always talk about practice
her practice is enlightenment
even though we don't realize it problem is
we don't realize it as soon as you
catch a glimpse of enlightenment it's gone
when you don't see it is there
when you do see it if not
so you can be it
but you can't see it
it's like your eyes
you can see through your eyes but you can never your eyes can never see themselves
when we always wondering about just enlightenment thing
so enlightenment is
manifests through our ah
confusion
and through our activity good or bad right or wrong

i want to read your little of a lecture vicky really she says about it
because she didn't talk about it
and it isn't rent
but as if you talk about it too much
excuse me
so to have a so called enlightenment experience is of course important it is important to him and enlightenment experience even though you don't know what that is even though you have it and don't understand it
but what is more important is to know how to adjust the flame in zazen and in our everyday life
how do i just a flame like uninstall or if you've used to using kerosene lamps which we did touch the horror
we didn't have electricity for years and years and our monastery it does her and we use kerosene lamps so he's using as a example
how you know if you
this little round button after you turn from to adjust the flame if it's too high in flames out and blackened the chimney and was too low you can't really see so how do you adjust it
tip so that it doesn't smoke
when it doesn't smoke you don't you forget about it
but when it's smoking and you know there's something out of adjustment so how do you keep keep
adjusting your flame because we all have a flame
each man who was is the flame how do we just are flame said they didn't create a problem
but thinking if you have too much then you know that
yep net like adjusting the flame too high and he said and then stick sticking then
so you'd wanna forget all about them
death best just to the work and forget about them
flynn is there when you can forget about it enlightenment is there when you can forget about it
so they have a so called the layman experiences of course important but what is more important is to know how to adjust the flame and that and and in our everyday life when the flame is incomplete combustion and don't smell the oil
whether the smoky your smell something you may realize that it is a kerosene lamp
when your life is incomplete combustion you have no complaint and there's no need to be over every practice
if we talk too much about doesn't it's a really a smoky kerosene lamp
maybe i'm a very smoky kerosene lamp
i don't necessarily want to give you a lecture i just want to live with you
moving stones this is a tough a her we are as moving stones
having a nice hot spring bath and eating simply good
then is right there
when i start to talk it's already a smoky kerosene lamp as long as i must give a lecture i had to explain this is right practice is is wrong this is how we practice doesn't it's like every you a recipe
doesn't work you cannot eat a recipe
am
at brown just wrote another cookbook i don't know if you're familiar with his cookbooks you in a number of cookbooks good ones
and this ladies cookbook is the recipe
usually a zen master will say practice or then then you will attain enlightenment
if you attain enlightenment you will be detached from everything and you will see things as it is of course this is true but our way is not always so
catherine michael gotten into with book
we are studying how do we just the flame of our lab back and forth
don't get zingy made this point in the sheboygan so his teacher used to live each moment incomplete combustion
like a lamp or a candle to live each moment becoming one with everything is the point of was teaching and his practice
doesn't practice is a very subtle thing when you practice as and you become aware of things you did not notice while you were working
today i will stone for a while and i didn't realize that my muscles retired but when i was calmly sitting doesn't i realized oh my muscles are pretty bad condition i felt some pain in the various posts of my body you might think you can practice such and much better if you had no problem
but actually some problem is necessary
if you don't have a big one
it it doesn't have to be a big one through the difficulty you have you can practice of them
that is very important point
we're always wanted to be comfortable that's our plan
most of us that everyone but most of us try to be comfortable
and when we said we also wanna be comfortable
but unfortunately or fortunately
we have a big problem at some point at some point you will have a problem we're going to shit five the associated the end of the practice period
and our mission i'll be comfortable
but unfortunately unfortunately you will have a problem
the problem is the practice that problem really hard to practice
because when we experience life
from one after remember every moment is a problem and every moment is a solution
whether we like it or not has nothing to do it like and dislike
when it has nothing to do with like and dislike we have enlightenment
enlightenment is the acceptance of every moment as it is
without like a different regardless you're like and dislike
not like there's no like or dislike instead
enlightenment is the reconciliation of like and dislike
it's rising above are
desires
you know we keep changing your her equipment old time
with
have to keep moving because that's life life keeps moving which that's called emptiness without
emptiness bins various things but it means
forgetting to last moment and entering the next one
not being caught by the last moment
so if expressing the wish
the wish for enlightenment is to let go of
the but the last moment letting go of this moment and entering the next moment
if we can't link over the last moment
we can't enter the next moment with freedom
so when we should try them
one after moment
we enter the next moment without hanging onto the last moment without attachment to the last moment no matter how nice that is seen as
she also very nice feeling in that him we want to stay there but unfortunately or fortunately
the next moment pops up
and if we don't let go of the last moment we can enter the next moment ah
with he is
so doesn't actually is very comfortable
but only comfortable but we let go of the last moment and ended the next moment with is
the regardless of how we're feeling
it takes a long time to learn
it really takes a long time to win for most people
attachment is so subtle
our attachments your federal
and freedom is so difficult to achieve
so
problem will come up for us all the time
i'm dealing with week
you know you can't fight the difficulties go
why didn't the difficulties doesn't work because they simply may find increase more fighting
fighting creates an opposite an opposition and the opposition will always win
you will always win when you fight if you fight the pain you will always win
the whole universe is bearing down
i'm here buddy
the certain amount of pressure inside and outside with keeps us comfortable right in this universe
but
there shouldn't pressures that
make it difficult
and if you've become attached to the difficulties your suffer
the first noble truth is about suffering
and doesn't is about the four noble truths
if you fight
you will lose
so you have to be what is it a fight
it's our self centeredness that fights it's a self centeredness that creates problems
when we let go of self-centeredness no matter how now
a articulate we are at a denying it
we like over some sentiment
ah we can enjoy whatever is happening
although there are extreme things had happened to us that we can do nothing about
but even then
do you do
so life is difficult and this is you know i'm not talking about what is the truth and shouldn't be talking about how you
find is wearing your difficulties
people find different ways to do that
they don't sit further
because there's only one way to find is an integer surgeon is a great teacher
you know the teacher simply point that out
i can't help you they should i can just pointed to
how did how to deal with difficulties
in certain
to simply open yourself because it's counterintuitive when you have an intrusion
it's counterintuitive to open to it
because usually when we have an intrusion we manu
oppose it that's natural
this natural
to manage top top
but actually to open a shop till it and when you open yourself you're opening yourself to the universe
and you let the universe passed through
and that's called adjusting lamp
just in the lamp this
ah not create a smoky situation
it's got calmness a mind called various age
calmness in mind
ah
offering yourself to the universe that's what i think i'm sell dentist when you
ah put forth your effort and let the same time that he got really resistance
that's
comfort to company
i remember how many difficult times i had
when i was a little younger
lot younger
it's a hassle and trying to figure out how to be comfortable
he was so difficult so much pain sitting through a seven day rule pains
until i finally figured it out i didn't figure it out it just happened
you just open yourself up instead of is counterintuitive
but then if you open yourself up
too soon it will the than the flood of pain is it but it doesn't work that way
it's knowing how to create a balance
balance and harmony is ah really the balance always working with because everything is falling out of balance and regaining his balance moment after moment
that's enlightenment
that's enlightened practice regaining your balance moment after moment
with everything
that's how you live in the universe
in a comfortable way
you fall in balance and then you became new balance and you
harmonize
with everything
how are you harmonize with your surroundings how'd you harmonize with
all the parts of your body actually
hi i'm in az with the physical ear in live in your organs and your thoughts your mind
the balance surgeon is balance
it doesn't always follow your balance you sit well this is the right posture you know now i've got it but i'm in later exchanged
including your past there is no special right buster
you you assume the right her but then you have to continue
to find your balance
an open up i can't explain this opening
i try to explain what it means to be open by decide
is that when you you allow every sensation to be there
disallow every sensation to be there and then you by allowing it
it opens you up and said we're closing you down
when we have a a limit
then the energy funds that limit in your body
and then you have then you have problem when you have no limit then he expand to include everything that happens to you
and then you're comfortable because you don't have a limit
that shuts you down
then you're comfortable that called comfortable way
you never let yourself get caught by attachment to any really
not wanting not not wanting
anyway

he says this is an especially meaningful point which is what dog zingy since practice and enlightenment or one
practice is something you do consciously something that you do with effort
they're right there is enlightenment
hmm many masters many zen masters miss this point where they were striving to attain perfect loves him
things that exist are imperfect
that is how everything actually exists in this world nothing we see or hear is perfect but right there in the imperfection is perfect reality
it is too intellectually and also in the realm of practice is to on paper and true with your body
you think you may think that you can only establish to practice after you attain enlightenment that is not so true practice is established in delusion in frustration
if you make some mistake that is where you establish your practice
there is no other place for you to establish and practice
we talk about enlightenment but in is two cents perfect enlightenment and mint is beyond our understanding beyond our experience even at are imperfect practice enlightenment is there
we just don't know it
so the point is to find the true meaning a practice before we attain enlightenment
wherever you are enlightenment as there if you stand up right where you are that his enlightenment that knowing who you are aware you are
this is called i don't know fathom we don't know what does in his anymore
i don't know who i am to find complete composure when you don't know who you are or where you are that is to accept these as it is
even though you don't know who you are you accept yourself
that is you in his two sense when you know who you are that you will not be the real you
you may overestimate yourself quite easily but when you say i don't know than you are you and you know yourself completely and that is enlightenment
so i think our teaching is very good but it would become arrogant and believe in ourselves too much we will be lost there will be no teaching know buddhism at all when we find the joy of our life in our composure we don't know what it is we don't understand anything and then our mind is very great and
very wide
the
my mind is open to everything so it is big enough to know before we know something
we are grateful even before we have something
even before we attain enlightenment we're happy to practice away
otherwise we can obtain anything in his two cents
so dumb

tell a question
right

he said
ah
he will pointing at i don't know
you know that this is where we have a problem
we have a problem because we are thinking as always dualistic
suzuki roshi
do a dualistic thinking his delusion
holistic thinking is enlightenment but enlightenment delusion go together
the two sides of the same coin
so we have to have delusions so what he says
when he contradicts himself this is one side of the coin
if is still be at if you say
there's no left that there's no debt life or death
that's one side of the coin if you say well you know the person death like endeavored that the other side of the coin
the middle
yes it's like joshua move
just drink
the boat said does the dog have the buddha nature and judges said no
and then mother came into the video tag a wilderness is it yes yes or no no includes yes yes includes no enlightenment includes delusion division could enlightenment
i'm
yeah
i don't know who i am a that's when you know who you are
when you don't know who you are data when you know who you are if is know you are fascinated don't know you are so
this is the way suzuki or she was thinking he wasn't thinking and dualistic terms although duality is part of non-duality
yeah

so it
oh what
hobbies or feel
well
may all be
yes so like this this morning on
anyway i was rushing
get over here in osaka
some exercise
then i saw this little button i have standing right in this beautiful am saying no no
oh that pipeline effect
this ease and as s remembering that experience and then it was so much easier to out the door and then a show stopper those example that
there
yes sometimes struggle or tomorrow practices
well if
haven't you know when she did struggle i would say the effort
ever doesn't not necessarily a struggle
effort is it is putting yourself without ever there's no practice
but they didn't have to be a struggle
effort and is are the two sides of that coin
and
doesn't is the coin itself and within the code itself is effort
up straight
bell and is that let it go means opening yourself up
so was in the strictest effort to know sit up straight
is to balance said so it is effortless is effortless effort
not no effort is effortless effort means
i'm not struggling but being totally present will a this is and practice and scott
i'm
thoroughness
thoroughness means there's little left out
there's no shoe hanging over the coffin
added of get that but
i'm
virtually and too short

abstract this
hey
slide
wednesday a gothic
well
our first of all everything is just as it is
that's universal up
everything is just incidents
hundred are invariance
i love you it seems like that
ah but universal universal when you see universal can even encompass universal
in your mind that's just an idea but
if you want to experience universal love everything assistance it is to to see everything just as it is and address everything just as it is
you putting yourself
no food no
two it doesn't mean you have to like eight but you have to see it
john
and i heard you were saying it we are the too much of dialect it
no i didn't say that
you know
i heard that phrase
i the way heard to neither
i said you're you're mature when you totally open
you include everything that's what i said
remember
yeah
well this book is called not always so
somebody when the bag i think it's you yeah yeah

open to what

well
you just open to them
i don't know i'm not sure exactly
what you mean at that exactly
doesn't mean you know we should we have to address those things that are so-called injustices right
so address them
i'm dressed and fully except that everything has its opposite
we always have to remember that everything has its opposite
and when we say listen the truth is only half of the truth even though it seems like the whole truth
unless we address this opposite it's only half the truth and with the world goes off and half truth
because he a good or bad is right around
it's either hot or cold and so forth
every everything has its it's opposite and if we don't take into consideration is opposite definitely we have to buy it's opposite but if we don't take into consideration is evident that were just running around putting bandages and everything the no real cure
sure
so we have the republicans the democrats each one wants to the eliminate the other
i'd say that every day i want it limited to one that i don't like that's gonna ruin the world however
but if necessary nothing exists without as opposite
you can't keep jabbing half the things you don't like the opposite because then issues a chop off the opposite the thing itself doesn't exist
good of exists with that bad only exists within
you want everything to be good you when eliminate or bad things so we you know this the primitive thinking
really primitive
desert thinking
you kill a ago you to like
al capone
valentine's day
can get what i mean
you just kill off all people don't like but this doesn't work
that everything needs is opposite the crooks need the cops
he can't need the crux
the bad guys need a good guys and until we understand that we we can't really understood we can you think
linda
hi

well hot he has been harmful and arm on harmful or
you can tell yeah you can type any opposite you like

yes

well i wouldn't
you know
you have to understand that talking about thing even so-called truce
does not cover everything
you know it doesn't mean you don't have to do something about things
i mean when you feel it that the locomotive coming down the tracks you have to get out way
so you know
there are major understand each and so-called
mitre understandings
it
what major understanding does
is give us a big problem about what bothers us
but
reality is what it is
if you say i don't
these people should die in those people should not die everybody dies that's the whole truth
that's what i'm talking about i'm not talking about the particulars right in the particulars you make choices about what what you want to do based on but if you understand the reality you can make better choices
i'm not saying you shouldn't make choices based on what you know the things that you bring up of course but someone else thinks a different way you have to understand that yeah take that into consideration
this is the last one album

with someone's actions
heads
so
lol person
actually a reaction
so that
in our minds we the ask that
the idea that has that's funny
based on their act and are you know
how to a handy of that person
that
our
well nobody said
oh and
we've got them
happened to us but this
speech to the
nascar's disciples
and
we should have added
yes my vow is to turn trump into a living
the

a
and the other end know after incentive
i actually give him lectures in my mind
i do
but it doesn't listen to me

this is the end globe
a
okay the guy the guy behind helen
kim
and
oh that

will that note
up
what did i heard that profits
okay
go back to work
the