I am proud to be a Citizen. Dogen says, here is the place and here the way unfolds. The boundary of realization is not distinct, for the realization comes forth simultaneously with the mastery of Buddhadharma. Means you only can see what you can see. Here is the place, and here the way unfolds.

[01:05]

So, right here is where we have our opportunity. Sometimes we say, well, as soon as things get better. In the future, or some other time. But actually, right here is where the way has to unfold. I'm with you. I was talking to Medha, and I realized, we're talking about priest's training, and I realized priest's training is just the development of character.

[02:36]

We tend to think, because of the organization of Zen Center, that there's some priestcraft that what a priest is supposed to learn is priestcraft, so that you'll know how to do service and know how to do ceremonies and handle incense and so forth. But priestcraft, a very minor point in priest training. Priest training is the development of our character. based on enlightenment practice. And it's also layperson training. It's not the province of any particular group of people. But why it's priest training is because this is what a priest dedicates their life to doing.

[03:43]

This is what a priest's life is about. Some people say, well, my life is about making money, or being an architect, or being an artist, or being a mechanic, or whatever. That's a layperson's life. A priest's life is just the perfection of character, just the development of character based on enlightened practice. And there are various ways that we have of training ourself and training with each other. There's no special form of Zen. We think maybe that the setup at Tassajara is the form of Zen practice. It's not the form of Zen practice, but It's just the form that we have to work with that helps us in this development of character.

[04:54]

It's an ancient form, and because it has worked for our ancestors, it works for us. But we have to bring it to life, otherwise it's just some kind of routine that we go through. And we think that the various positions that we hold have some meaning, some special meaning. So in Tassajara, the various positions that we have are to help us train in order to help develop our character. based on enlightened practice. And ideally, we rotate through these positions. The older students gradually take the more responsible positions.

[06:07]

So we kind of start at the bottom and gradually we take more responsible positions. And so we have a kind of hierarchical succession. That's a vertical succession. But on the other hand, the other side is that there's no one position that's any more important than any other. If you understand this, then you're enlightened. That from wherever you are, you control the whole universe. If you think that by taking some special position, you have more control, or more power, or more prestige, then that's just delusion. One of the problems that we have sometimes, that we've always had at Tassajara, is when someone is very talented, we let them work in the position that feeds their talent.

[07:40]

We used to have that problem with carpenters. When we first started Tassajara, carpenters were very important people, and we really catered to them. And they didn't have to do all the things that other people had to do. They would just go right into doing something that they were very skilled at. So they missed a lot. In their training, they missed a lot. They did a lot. They got a lot done. I don't say they didn't have any training, but something was missed. Suzuki Roshi used to say, we never put a professional cook in the kitchen. If you're a wonderful, famous French cook, you don't go into the kitchen. The kitchen is for amateurs.

[08:43]

If you have some special talent, then the best thing that we can do for you is put you someplace where you feel very awkward, where you have no ability, where you're just stumbling around. When you finally get some understanding and when you get to the place where you can no longer be pushed off where if someone goes like, you don't fall down, then you can do something that you can start using your talents. But until that point, it's doing a big disservice to use your talents. So, we have to find our way without any crutches or without any background.

[09:49]

So when we come to Tassajara, we take everything away, hopefully. Not always, but ideally. We take all your prestige away, all of the background that you relied on up to now. And you just become nobody. And from nobody, you can start to develop your character. But that's very difficult. Our first practice period is just learning how to be with ourself at Tassajara. So we're always going back and forth. Should I stay here? Should I leave? Should I stay here? Should I leave today? It's terrible. I think I can't stay here any longer. The next tomorrow, oh, it's great. I think I'll sign up for another tour of duty.

[10:53]

And the next day, oh, shit. That can last more than your first practice period, but that's the characteristic of our experience. It's very frustrating. We don't have anything to rely on and we have to find our way with no crutches. So we kind of hobble along. Some people make it better than others. But we all have something. We all have something that can be taken away from us. And when you no longer have something that can be taken away from you, then you can be the abbot. But I don't recommend it. I think I still have something that can be taken away.

[11:57]

So I have my problems too. when Suzuki Roshi was at Zen Center, we all understood this fact. I think that some of us understood it. There was no Well, let's say Zen Center was started, it grew up around Suzuki Roshi's character.

[13:06]

And that's what sustained it through all those years and made it into what it, gave it that solid base. It just built up around his character. And he would often say, I have nothing to give you except my Zen spirit. And that's really all there is. All the rest is just to help us to develop, to bring out the Zen spirit and help us to develop our character. So there are three aspects to our Buddhist life. Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha, the three jewels or three treasures.

[14:14]

Buddha is a person. Sometimes we say the teacher is Buddha, but also the student is Buddha. Teacher and student are Buddha. And the teacher helps the student to realize that the student is Buddha. And the student treats the teacher as Buddha. So the student and the teacher treat each other as Buddha. That's a relationship between teacher and student. And then Dharma is our understanding and our study.

[15:18]

And Sangha is each one of us individually and collectively. So each one of us is Buddha, Dharma and Sangha, because Dharma is not something that we learn, but something that is brought forth from us. We study Dharma. We go into the study hall and we study books about Buddhism. But we don't learn something from the books. The books bring forth the Dharma out from us. So the trap of study is to think that we learn something from the books, or that we fill our head with information from the books. But the freedom of study is that when we study, it brings forth the dharma that we already have.

[16:32]

It reminds us of the dharma that we already have. It stimulates our dharma mind. And sangha is how we see each other as different and as ourself. You are you and I am me, and I'm you and you're me. So, All three together is our Dharma self, our Buddha self, our Sangha self. And some of us have a propensity for Buddha.

[17:44]

We like to follow a teacher, and we maybe don't care so much about the Dharma or the Sangha. but we may be teacher-goopy, or we like a guru, so we kind of follow a guru around. That's a kind of unbalanced way to study Dharma, to study our, perfect our character. We also need to study the Dharma and to relate to the Sangha. Some of us just like to study, and we don't care so much about the teacher, because maybe we really know how to study well. So the teacher is out there someplace. It's okay. I'll listen to his lectures. And the Sangha doesn't matter so much. Maybe someone doesn't like to relate to people or finds it difficult to relate to people.

[18:55]

So that kind of person needs to be put with other people and occasionally talk to the teacher to check in. And someone has the propensity for just social interaction, but maybe doesn't like to study, doesn't care about Buddhism, and doesn't see much value in the teacher. So in these three cases, each one of us finds ourselves somewhere in there. Some of us are well balanced and can find the right balance.

[20:04]

But in our training, if you are unbalanced, then we try to help you to put you in a situation, hopefully, to balance your character. So sometimes it's hard, when people come to Tassajara, to be with others, to interact with others. So you have a hard time that way. Sometimes it's hard for people to study. They're always falling asleep at the table, or you just can't read. It doesn't make sense to you. And some people just shy away from the teacher. They don't particularly want to have any interaction for one reason or another. But all three are necessary in our training.

[21:14]

And we don't always get around to helping everyone. It's hard to always balance our practice. Not always easy. And if some of us are very good at avoiding avoidance, very astute, and manage to avoid things for a long, long time, You know, what can you do? So we try to help people as much as possible, but we can't always help everybody in the best way. And sometimes there's the old saying, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. But the other side of that is,

[22:23]

that we all have difficulty. And so, as well as appreciating our good side, we should also appreciate the difficult side that we all have. We have a lot of trouble with somebody, and they really run us up the wall. But we should appreciate that side. We would like it if our teacher was somebody very sweet who gave us love strokes. But actually our teacher is the person that we don't like. It's the activity that we can't stand. It's the thing that drives us up the wall. That's our teacher. I may not be your teacher.

[23:28]

I may be too sweet, too nice. I'm sorry. But our teacher is everywhere. Your teacher and mine. And our teacher, who is Buddha, abides in our difficulty. abides in that thing out there that's giving us such a pain in the ass. So, one good example in Buddhadharma of how to develop our character is exemplified by the six paramitas.

[24:39]

You know, of course, the six paramitas. Six prajna paramitas. One is generosity. The first one is generosity. I may not be giving them an exact order, but generosity and precepts or ethics, ethical behavior, and kshanti, which is patience. It doesn't mean waiting for something to happen. It's a little different than that. It means real patience. the ability to be where you are and accept what you have, and enthusiastic energy, and meditation, and wisdom or prajna.

[25:45]

Those are the six examples we have of how to develop our character. Basic Buddhism. Generosity is giving. It has to do with giving material things, but at bottom it Not withholding. No withholding. No stinginess. No grudginess. Just giving without thinking about it. Without expecting anything. Just giving and forgetting.

[26:48]

But it really has to do with how you offer yourself to any moment situation, with something or with nothing, with a million dollars or a blade of grass. And ethical behavior is following the precepts. which is a whole other complete area. And patience is the ability to, without anxiety, to accept everything as it is. And this is the basic quality of zazen. great patience, not ordinary patience, but great patience. Patience is actually the most important factor of developing character.

[28:07]

Not trying to get ahead or behind. And enthusiasm, of course, balances patience. It's doing something with your wholeheartedness. really putting yourself in to doing whatever you're doing with energy and good spirit. And then meditation, of course, is not zazen. Zazen is not one of the meditation practices. Sometimes scholars misunderstand zazen and try to equate it with one of the meditation practices of Buddhism.

[29:30]

But zazen is much bigger than that, and it means everything you do. Specifically, it means sitting cross-legged on the cushion. But in a broad sense, it means everything you do. It means genjokolan. Genjokolan is zazen. Zazen is genjokolan. And sitting cross-legged is the basic practice of our life. But zazen is everything we do. It's not limited to some lying down or standing up or sitting. Prajna is the ability to let wisdom manifest. Step out of the way.

[30:34]

I used to practice selflessness and to see, to harmonize with your surroundings. To not stand out, but to harmonize with your surroundings. And this is the practice of sangha. To harmonize with your surroundings and with each other. That should be what we're practicing, not how to get ahead or how to take some position. All the positions are exactly the same because wherever you are is where you are. They're just different activities. But you can't escape from yourself. If you are the garbage man and you have enlightened practice, everyone will want to be a garbage man.

[31:55]

If you're the abbot and you don't know what you're doing, nobody will want to be the abbot. You control the whole place from your position. It doesn't make any difference where you are. We're all equal. Everybody has exactly the same opportunity. So Dogen says, here's the place. And here the way unfolds. There's no special place. Where is the gate of Zen? The gate of Zen is a gateless gate.

[33:01]

Truly, the difficulty that we have is our biggest asset. If we understand that, then no problem. You can't find your way without difficulty. So it's important to appreciate our difficulty and to appreciate everyone else's difficulty.

[34:34]

If we can accept our own difficulty and appreciate it, then we can accept everyone else's difficulty and appreciate it. So again, it just all comes back to ourself. You can't change somebody out there. You can only deal with yourself. And when you change, everything else around you changes. Because it's all connected. Sometimes something out there changes, and you change. That too. But the easy thing to work on is this one. Although it looks like the hardest. It looks like this is the hardest thing, but it's really the easiest. So that means none of it's easy.

[35:47]

It's just hard work. and that people who have the most difficult time derive the most benefit from the practice if they stay with it. If practice is too easy for you, you should probably go do something else. Find something that's a little more difficult. Anyway, sooner or later in our practice, we come up against a very difficult place. But that's when our practice begins.

[36:52]

That's when real practice begins. So, don't worry too much. Don't worry about it too much. Don't think, ah, this is so hard, I should quit, or why is it getting so hard for me? It's a good spot, but you must respond to it. You must respond to your difficulty. Don't hide with it, because sooner or later you have to come out. Ideally, someone who is hiding with a difficulty, we put out in public and take their clothes off. Someone who is walking around with their clothes off, we put in some place where they can be a little more discreet.

[37:53]

Anyway, today, in this zazen, let's practice patience, just being where we are, just completely being where we are, without trying to get ahead or behind. Do you have a question? Can you talk about what the connection is between the character building of the priest training and the Bodhisattva life? Same thing. Could you elaborate? Yeah, you already know. I'm not telling you something you don't know. You said that it's necessary to respond to the difficulty.

[39:16]

I'm wondering how. How? Well, how to respond to the difficulty? Well, when you have some difficulty, you can come in in not taking the difficulty away, but helping you to deal with it. That's the benefit of having a teacher. And the teacher should be able to help you see it as a koan. help you to point out the deeper meaning of your problem, of the problem.

[40:23]

Not so much to answer your questions or take your problem away. That's what's so valuable about our problem, because if you can see down to the depths of the problem you have, it becomes your koan. So that's the value of working with the teacher. The teacher can help you to see down there. When you say character, How is that related to personality? Well, there's two kinds of personality. One is ego, and the other is true character. And true character is like our original way, our innocent way.

[41:34]

without anything built up around it. And personality is the accumulation of what we think we are. The kind of things, qualities we've added to ourself in order to get along in the world, in order to make it through in the world. Our compensations, false faces, and little acts that we put on, and this is our personality. Our true character is what's left after all that falls away. That's what I mean when I say perfecting our character, or what did I say? Not perfecting. Perfect is a little too much. But developing character doesn't mean to add anything to ourself.

[42:40]

It means to grind away all the stuff that doesn't belong to us. That's developing character. When you have nothing, how will you feel at ease? When you have no place to hide, how will you feel okay about it? We have no excuses for what we do. So perfection of character or development of character means just getting down to our original self and accepting ourself. Suzuki Roshi, I say this to people a lot, you may have heard it before, but he said, when you finally get enlightened, you may not like it.

[43:54]

You may not like it. You see yourself just exactly That's why we create a persona, isn't it? We create a persona because we don't like her. We don't really accept ourself. So we have to create another self that stands for ourself. So our purpose is to just let go of that self.

[45:06]

This is dropping body and mind. This is what Dogon means by dropping body and mind. Just let go of it. But in order to let go of it, we must trust our nature. It's called faith. What will we trust? Completely. It's a little bit scary to trust, to have confidence. But when we sit Zazen, there's nothing.

[46:09]

Nothing but this. No name, no personality. Just this. And then when we move out, extend our life from Zazen, it's still Zazen. Just this. whatever you do. But don't think that whatever you do is just zazen in an ordinary way. So, Dogen says, even though we all have buddha nature, it doesn't manifest. unless we do something about it. But that's the next part.

[47:19]

Maybe I'm talking too long.

[47:23]

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