Your expectation. In other words, the other day I mentioned life in itself supports, sustains your life, means life itself, life itself takes of your idea, fixed idea or thoughts without reserve, without reserve. In other words, life in itself is life force, life force. So position whatever you, whatever kind of occupation you follow. Occupation, the position in itself takes off your thoughts or fix the idea.

[01:00]

Moment after moment, at that time you learn something from position in itself or life in itself. That's why Dogen Zenji first, we have to receive this life itself, life in itself or position in itself, the task in itself, which takes off human thought or fixed idea. Because this life force always sustains your life in order to lead, to live your life under better condition, better condition. Then Dogen Zenji first tried to receive this life in itself or position in itself or occupation in itself.

[02:14]

Because they teach you something, teach you something. Then logically speaking or philosophically speaking, that's why Shakyamuni Buddha teaches about this, teaches this point using the philosophical words, technical words, nothingness or root of no abiding, no abiding. So regardless of whether or not you love your life, the root of no abiding, without deserve, takes off moment after moment your thoughts. For instance, you are the Zen, you are doing the Zen, you feel pain.

[03:21]

This is very actual aspect of your life. You feel pain moment after moment. Then at that time you say, wow, I can't, that's more than I can bear. Sure, you know, wow, please help me. But this is still your conception, thought. Thought compares you to say, hey, say something, say something, wow, that's it. But regardless of your thought, pain is going on. In other words, let's imagine the death itself. Death itself is like this, you know. You can't explain or describe what death is because you are alive.

[04:22]

You believe I am not dying. I am not dying. That's why you can't describe, you know, die, death, what death is. But if you confront, if you are confronted with death completely and there is no room to escape, what do you think that death? The same is to be said your pain, what you have experienced in the Zen, you know, pain, wow. That's why Buddha or patriarch Dogen says, life is like a dream. Let's imagine this statement, life is like a dream, wow. Why? Why is it we have to make effort? Effort, whatever you do, everything is a dream.

[05:25]

Help, please help. I always feel, I feel always, wow, death, wow. Why? Ask yourself, to yourself, why do you? Why are you doing, are you doing Zazen? Zazen is, Buddha says, Zazen is a dream. Zazen is a dream. Pain is a dream. That's really more than I can bear, you know, you can bear. That's why you say help, please help. You should consider this point again and again. Through your practice, through your pain, that's why the master says, stay with pain, stay with pain.

[06:36]

Don't escape, please stay with pain as much as you can. This is very important, you know. Wow, wow, you know, death, no. Your thought compels you to say wow. Just thought, but pain is here, you know, pain is here. Then you can, you try to get some ideas. Is it okay to go out of the Zen-do and take an exercise in order to escape? Then I said, no, please stay. Yes, I think so, but you should stay there. Because the problem of birth and death is the same thing.

[07:45]

Same thing as the experience of pain while you are doing Zazen. Same thing. Whatever you think, wow, you know, the root of not abiding takes off immediately, you are wow. Next moment, pain is here, you know. Next moment, your thought says wow, but pain is here. The root of not abiding takes off your wow, help takes off. Then, next moment, pain is here. Very real, very real. You can't escape, there is completely no room to escape. You have to, everybody, everybody must confront, face this aspect. Real pain, real pain.

[08:48]

Real pain is based on the root of not abiding. In the sphere of the root of not abiding, there is completely no room to put a certain idea. Whatever you say, how wonderful Zazen is, wow, how terrible. Whatever you say, nothing. Just do Zazen, just feel pain. Zazen takes off. And also you can't escape from it, you stay there. This, and also this pain, sustains your life, sustains your life. No abiding, no abiding always sustains your life and educates yourself.

[09:56]

It's funny, terrible, you know, but it is true. It is real true. When you face this pain, real pain, real death, it absolutely sustains your life. Then Dogen Zenji first receives this pain, and death, and birth. Before you may complain, wow, or how beautiful, or how terrible it is, whatever you say. Before you say, please accept. Accept. Then this, the root, always takes off your idea, and also at the same time sustains, helps your life.

[10:58]

That's why the root of no abiding turns into, it is turned into Buddha's aspect, Buddha's word. Because it is very helpful for us. That's why Buddha accepts it as Buddha's work, as Buddha's work. Because Dogen is the person who realizes how great, how great the root of no abiding is. Because always it is, it is always teaching you, sustains, sustains your life. No room to escape. When you see something, there is, when you see something with your eyes, with your eyes.

[12:16]

In Buddhism there are five kinds of eyes. One is physical eyes. Second is heavenly eyes. Third is wisdom eye, wisdom eye. Fourth is Dharma eye. Fifth is Buddha eye. First is physical eye. It is, it is your eyes, your eyes with which you can see something. I can see your zazen, I can see your zazen. At that time I think, what is he doing? What is he doing? What is he doing? What is zazen?

[13:18]

And someone says, that? It is called zazen. Zazen? But nevertheless I don't understand, what is zazen? Zazen is great, but I don't understand why I said. But he seems, he seems just to sit without doing anything, you know, without doing anything. It's waste time. Waste time. That's understanding, that's, there is, there is my understanding with my eyes, physical eyes. What is he doing? He's doing zazen. It's waste time, that's all. But it is alright, it is alright, it is also a part of my life. Seeing something with my eyes, that's okay.

[14:20]

In a sense, we need, we need to see something with my, with physical eyes, that's all. But actually, okay, you know, I think, well, what is he doing? Zazen? It seems to me that he wastes time. But someone says, let's, please read this book. Then someone give for Zen Buddhism, give for some book, written by Suzuki Roshi, you know. Then you come back to your home and read. And then you will, you will get something more than, more than, you know, more than understanding through your eyes, physical eyes. It seems to, it seems to you that zazen is, well, something good.

[15:28]

At that time, you have some doubt. What's the, what is my eyes? What is the function of one's physical eyes? Actually, you can stay, you can stay at the level of only one's physical eyes, you can't. But you want to stay, you know, you want to stay. For instance, you see, if I am rich man, I'm very happy. Then I see some person who is very poor and like bigger. Oh, he's poor guy. I am very rich. Then I am always, you know, staying rich level. And then someone, some poor guys try to get in my house.

[16:37]

Don't get in. Get out. Then he, I want to stay at level of rich man. But actually, I can't, I can't stay in the sphere of rich man which I created by my thoughts. Because always something compare you, compare you to see more than rich man, more than rich man. If you can, if you believe, if you believe that you can stay forever at the level of your own, you create. You are really like a frog who is enjoy, who enjoys his stay in the small well.

[17:46]

But someday, someday a big flood comes and fill your small well with water. And water let you go out of the small well. At that time you were very, very surprised. Wow, what shall I do? It's too big for me. Please let me come back. So no abiding completely takes off your ideas. There are many kinds of no abiding. Flat stones, fire, strong man, strong animals. Many people, many things.

[18:51]

Then at that time you have a doubt. What? What is my eyes? What is the function of my physical eye? At that time you can open your eyes a little bit wider, a little bit wider. Then you can see anything, something, something more than, more than your experience which you have had so far. That eye is heavenly eye, heavenly eye. Then, for instance, you can see the rays of the sun. With your physical eyes you can see the rays of the sun, that's all.

[20:01]

And then you think how wonderful it is. And you can see the stars, beautiful stars at night in the sky, how beautiful it is. If you see the stars with a special telescope, through the telescope you can see something more than stars. You can see lots of things through the telescope. Using the telescope you can make an astronomic observation and find the movement of the heavenly bodies.

[21:09]

When I was at Stanford, the people, the parents told all these beautiful children stories about the moon, about the moons. The moons, it says that there are two pure white rabbits who always bound rice, mochi, rice cake, like this, to offer to the moon. I believed, how beautiful. Then I look at the always moon, at the thought that two pure white rabbits bound those rice. It's beautiful. But now you can go there.

[22:13]

It's a rocket. And then look at your earth, look at the earth. At that time the earth is pretty little, very little, small. Then you think, wow, 100,000 billion people live and occupy that little, small place. Then you think, you have some doubt, what I have been doing there? Are you crazy? I am always fighting with people, but now I find, I find more bigger than the earth. How little, how small the earth is.

[23:17]

At that time you feel sad. You feel very sad. Then that's why the Shakyamuni Buddha says, everything is transmigration, transmigrating. Everything is empty. Even though you believe how wonderful the earth where you live in is, the moment when you go out of the atmosphere, you realize that how small the earth where you live in is. Now only according to, not only Buddhism, but also according to the physics and biology,

[24:34]

biology, biology, and any other science, they teach you, they teach you that everything is completely emptiness. Yes, they tell you. Physics tells you, everything is completely empty, nothing. Then they said, there is nothing. Why? Why do you practice Zazen? Why do you practice Zazen? Everything is nothing. The more you can see the new things through the heavenly eyes, through the telescope,

[25:37]

the more you feel the, what would you call, impermanent, impermanent. With your eyes, with your eyes you read the book, then you think of how wonderful Zazen is, and you come here. Then Zazen is, what is Zazen? Completely crushed, you're crushed through your Zazen. Because Zazen always creates some trouble for you. If you put it into practice, this is true. So everything is nothing, emptiness, emptiness.

[26:49]

All of us, including me, are like a frog. See something with our eyes, and look at it, wow, wonderful, enjoy very much. Next moment you can see something else, more than your experience you have had so far. Then you are surprised. Then you try to run to the practice, then frog come to the tassel hall and sit. Then a frog completely experience, experience his life based on emptiness, emptiness, completely emptiness. Yes, this is true. You can learn, you can learn many things at the college,

[27:57]

through the grade school, junior high school, senior high school and college. What are you studying? What did you get? Are you satisfied yourself with your study? The more you have lots of knowledge, the more you feel something funny, something unsatisfactory. Then at that time you feel everything is nothing, emptiness. Then you want to really practice by yourself, escaping from the society, escaping, dropping off the school, then living in the deep mountains, then sleep by yourself,

[28:59]

isolated from completely society, or your friends, your parents. This is a person who experienced through the heavenly eyes. In heavenly eyes, very wonderfully. There are many, many people who is called heavenly eyes. Then he enjoy their stay, their stay in deep mountains and their practice. But nevertheless, no abiding, takes off their ideas. The practice, isolated practice by himself, completely isolated from others, human beings,

[30:05]

and live just with nature. Listening to the birds, listening to the sound of rivers, how wonderful. I'm sorry. No abiding, immediately takes off his ideas. And then at that time he feels unsatisfactory. What? What is practicing? The moment when he comes back to the city, what is practicing? What is practicing? I need something. This is the first step, which he finds the wisdom eyes. In terms of emptiness, as a physicist and biologist,

[31:11]

relax, do as you like. Very nice. Then they do, that's hippies. That's hippies. Then they are very relaxed. Then they do as they want to do. I'm sorry, but the root of the no abiding takes off. Without reserve, immediately. And then they need something. What? What is life? What is life? Then they start to open their eyes. I need something.

[32:19]

So there is something they start to find, realize. Realize that there is something more than emptiness, which they have understood. Emptiness is something more than my understanding. Maybe so. Then they need, they think, I need practice. Then come back again to the tathagata city. The second time when you come back to the tathagata, you feel something different. Foreign American students go to Japan, the first time they experience,

[33:22]

they feel so good from monastery, particularly A.H. monastery. They feel so good because the circumstances is completely different from United States. Very different. Very calm. Listening to birds. Many people sit. Very wonderful. The second time they come back to the A.H. monastery, they are very surprised at seeing different things, many things. Sometimes they thought, they see the monks drinking sake at the monastery, eating the cookies, many cookies. Then they start to suffer. Where is practice? Where is practice? I'm sorry. But anyway, you come back to the tathagata and start zazen.

[34:36]

At that time, you can, through the zazen, you can realize that there is something more, something big, bigger, than a bigger experience than that which you have had before. At the level of the understanding, which is called everything is emptiness, something like that. So, maybe we need, you think maybe we need something which makes, which guides human beings to live in peace. Not to live by individuals, according to the principle of individualism.

[35:40]

Individualism. You see? Then you can find the whole picture of human life, which is even a dim image, dim image. It is called, it is called wisdom, it is called, what would you call, the jizo in Japanese. Jizo is real reality, real reality. Jizo is reality, true reality. You can find what the human life is like. How, in what attitude we live our life with others. This is wisdom eyes.

[36:41]

Then, but nevertheless, then you want to stay, you want to stay tasaha, as far as your circumstances permit, I want, I don't want to go back to San Francisco, please let me stay in tasaha. Because you are afraid to go back to San Francisco, because San Francisco is very, you know, out of way, that out of way daily life, busy life. You can feel your life with strong confidence. You are always afraid, so please let me stay here. But I'm sorry, sometimes if you are, if you don't have so much money, please go out.

[37:50]

Make money and come back. I'm sorry. Completely not abiding takes off your ideas. I'm sorry. This is true. With wisdom eyes, this wisdom just stays within yourself. It doesn't work. It doesn't work towards others. Wisdom is just within yourself. So you want to keep it. You want to keep it warm within yourself. That's why you are always afraid to go out. Please let me stay here.

[38:51]

But anyway, unfortunately or fortunately, the root, the truth of not abiding takes off your ideas. Then you go out. At that time, you have to learn something, you know. The city life, out-of-way busy life, from the out-of-way busy life. Then at that time you will find, you will find that others, how busy others are, more than you. You are very quiet. You know. As compared, as compared with others, then you are very wonderful. You feel so good. But on the other hand, you realize how busy others are,

[39:56]

how poor others are, you know. Then you want, you feel, I have to help them. I have to help them. I have to, I have to. Then you say, you say to others, why don't you come to the Tathagata and sit with us? But they don't like. They don't like. Then they ask you why. What should I do in Tathagata? You say, Satsang. Satsang. Then they ask you, what is Satsang? Then you say, well, I don't know. I don't know. In city life,

[41:05]

you can learn something, something bigger, bigger scale, bigger aspect in life, more than before. At that time, your eyes are cold, dumber eyes, dumber eyes. Nevertheless, I'm sorry, no abiding, takes off your eyes. At that time, you feel sort of enlightenment. Yes, I feel. How great I am, you know. The moment I compare with others, how wonderful, how wonderful I am. But I'm sorry, completely the truth of no abiding takes off your ideas, which is called dumber eyes,

[42:06]

which is called enlightenment. For instance, while in Japan, one of friends had a pet of a cat. A cat as a pet. This cat was very beautiful. Then one day, I visited his house. Then cat, when we had dinner, the cat just sit by the table. Sometimes, he tried to poke his neck, you know, like this.

[43:07]

Like this. Because it has very good smell, you know. Like this. But he didn't take it. Take some food. Then I said, how great, how wonderful this cat is. Because he has very good behavior. He knows. He knows very good manners. Then he said, our friend said, yes. He proud. He proud. He proud himself on how great my cat is. But let's imagine this point. After I left his house,

[44:11]

how, let's imagine, how does he teach him, teach the cats? Day in and day out, the cats always sit by the table. Then every time when he had meal, he like this. That time, like this. Like a turtle. Next moment, like this. Day in and day out, he trained like this. Stay there. Then at last, he mastered very good manners. Very good manners. Very good. Very good manners.

[45:13]

And then, the moment when the cats go out of his, his master's house, then visit to the next door, visit the next door to his house and find fish. Let's imagine what, what does, what this cat do. Immediately, cat. Take it. Run out. This is cat. In this respect, cat cannot, cannot stay, cannot stay at the level of certain fixed idea, good manner, given by his master, always hitting his head. Don't, don't, don't. Don't do that.

[46:23]

Don't do that. Yes, you can, you can be completely broken, broken in. Very good category. One of our students said, you know, since the way, when she was in childhood, her parents always put, put her in front of the TV. At that time, TV show said, you should be good. You should be good. Like us, now we have a children's program, Sesame Street. Sesame Street is very good. I don't know what. But her parents always put her

[47:24]

right in front of the TV. And a moment, TV said, you should be good. What? But she didn't understand what, why. But always unconscious advertisement into her brain. You should be good. You should be good. Then, at last, when she grows older, she's completely good. But actually, I'm sorry. The root of no abiding takes out. This idea too.

[48:25]

What is good? What is bad? Because everybody cannot live by themselves without having relation with others. Relation with others. Completely, it's impossible. Even though you are absolutely broken in by your parents, you should be good. You should be good through the unconscious advertisement. You can't stay there. You can't stay there. Because everything is based on the no abiding. In other words, you are entitled to live

[49:27]

in the sphere of freedom. Freedom. Country is country. This morning, one of our students said to me, I laughed. His parents all wanted him to be a writer. To be a writer. Then the parents always said to him, He should be a writer. [...] But actually, he doesn't want. He doesn't want. But parents always say that. He should be a writer. He should be a writer. Then, at last, before he was aware of, he becomes a writer already. But his true nature,

[50:29]

his true nature is always liberated. Free. Because he is a man. As well as others. As well as parents. As well as his brothers and sisters. As well as President Nixon. The same things. Then he started to suffer. Yes, that's true. No avoiding things often. A certain fixed idea, you should be a writer. Even though he becomes a good writer, it's pretty hard. Then, we are completely entitled

[51:33]

to live in this world within the liberation, freedom, which is called, in other words, the root of no avoiding. You can make a choice. You can make a choice of what to do. And you can do anything what to do. Then yesterday I mentioned, now the Zen, this is the Zen man. Next moment, I smoke. Smoke man. Someone go to the movie, or to see the movie, instead of the Zen. At the Komusawa University, we had the Zazen class, course of the Zen. Everybody had, it is required subject. But students don't like to sit.

[52:38]

Then he always escapes from the discourse. But he takes, they take the discourse in order to take the unit. But they don't sit. Instead, when the time comes to sit, they go out of the university and go to see the movie. Then, go to see the movie. Movie man, movie student. The other guy sit in the Zen dorm. The Zen man. Many men. Zen man, movie man, and pickpocket men. Immediately, you can do that. Whatever you want. Don't pride yourself too much

[53:42]

on what you are doing. I am the Zen. Very great Zen master. Don't say that. Next moment, I smoke. Smoke man. Next moment, I drink beer, wine, whiskies. With writings, you relax completely. Even though when the time comes to do the Zen, you can do everything. You can do anything what you want. Right now, right here. So, it looks like a craze. Craze? It's like a craze. You can make anything with one thing. One thing which is called craze. You can make a Buddha.

[54:45]

You can make the Zen. You can make a movie. You can make a smoking. You can make a drinking. That's why, as mentioned yesterday, the Buddha, if the boss, the Buddha and devil are completely based on one essence of faith. One essence, which is called craze. Which is called sort of craze. For instance, in Japan, right after Second World War, young students, college students, respected so much to one of the Bodhisattva statues, which is one of national treasures. Very beautiful statue.

[55:46]

Its face is woman's face and hands are very slender, beautiful, like this. You know that? You know this statue? Very beautiful. Then, he always, day in and day out, went to that temple and paid respect to the Buddha statue. Whenever he enjoyed his life, he was confronted with difficulties. He was always staying up there. Every day, he went to the temple and respected this Bodhisattva. At last, he broke the Bodhisattva's fingers and took it. What do you think it is?

[56:56]

It's very funny, you know? It's incredible, but this is true. In other words, you look at the Bodhisattva's, stare at the Bodhisattva's face like this. Always. Bodhisattva's face gradually doubles, making doubles. And then, wow! Then, I thought, what is it? In other words, if you look at, if you look at whatever, the Bodhisattva's face or Buddha's face, or Buddha or Bodhisattva, you look at four lines, like this. Gradually, the Buddha has horns. Buddha turns his face into a beautiful face, a lady's face.

[57:57]

Instead of the object which should be respected, before you are aware of, Buddha's face turns into, then gradually horns appear, long teeth appear. Yes, this is true. Then, he always, every day, he paid homage to this Buddha statue. At last, he took it. He took it with one finger. At that time, this Bodhisattva statue is not the object which he has to pay homage to as a Buddha, as a Bodhisattva. It is already a beautiful lady. It turned.

[59:02]

It turned into a beautiful lady. Then, he took it. It's funny, but it is true. This is the demise, okay? The demise. You can save. You can control. You can save yourself, concretely, in your daily life. You know so well what the wisdom is, what the Buddha is, what the Zazen is, with your head. Then, you can teach. You can speak. What emptiness is like, you can. This is true. But actually, you cannot save all sentient beings. You cannot save others, yourself. In concrete daily life, something wrong happens.

[60:03]

Then, you need Buddha's eyes. This is Buddha's eyes. That's why we have to be very careful to take care of your daily life. Be careful. You understand? This whole... Try to consider one by one. Physical eyes, and each level of the eyes. That's it. Let's consider again and again what happens. Heavenly eyes, and wisdom eyes, and Dharma eyes. At the level of Dharma eyes, you can attain enlightenment. Attain enlightenment. It is called Inca Shomi, certificate of enlightenment. You can attain it. You can attain it.

[61:09]

Then, you must be enlightened. Then, you get it. But it's not enough. It's not good enough. From now, from this level, you have to... Your practice starts. This is beginner's. This is beginner's level. Because enlightenment must share with yourself and with others, which saves yourself and others from their suffering in their daily life, concretely, not in an abstract way. Concretely. If someone shows their troubles, then you have to save them.

[62:10]

What shall I do? It's pretty difficult. Even though you understand what wisdom... I speak. I give lectures many times. You look correctly, you understand completely. Thank you.

[62:30]

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