Each person has their own light. Everybody has her own light, as we say. Actually, another title for this case is Uman's Storeroom and Temple Gate. Anyway, this is the way this translator, titles it. So Engo introduces the subject and he says, controlling the world, allowing not the least speck of dust to escape, cutting off the deluded streams of thought, leaving not a drop behind, If you open your mouth, you are mistaken. If you open your mouth in a dualistic way, you are mistaken.

[01:04]

If you doubt for a moment, you have missed the way. Tell me, what is the eye that has pierced the barriers?" And then the main subject, one man spoke to his assembly and he said, Each one of you has your own light, but if you try to see it, it's in utter darkness. Everything is utter darkness. What is everyone's light? Later, in place of his disciples, he said various things. He said, Temple storehouse and the Temple gate. And then, again, he said, it may be better not to say anything, even if it's a good word. And in a poem of Setso, he says, it illuminates itself, absolutely bright.

[02:18]

He gives a clue to the secret. Flowers have fallen. Trees give no shade. Who does not see if you don't look? Seeing is not seeing. Non-seeing is seeing. Facing backward on the ox, riding into the Buddha hall. Controlling the world, this is the introduction, controlling the world, allowing not the least speck of dust to escape, cutting off the deluded streams of thought, leaving not a drop behind. If you open your mouth in a dualistic way, you are mistaken. If you doubt, or actually if you hesitate for a moment, you have missed the way. So how does one control the world? and allowing not the least dust to escape? And how does one cut off the diluted streams of thought?

[03:27]

If we relate this to Zazen, how do you control the world? How do you control this world of Zazen? And how do you cut off the diluted streams of thought? If you utter a dualistic word, you're lost. So, pretty easy to get lost, because we're always uttering a dualistic word. What is a dualistic word? I don't like this. Uh-oh. I wish that if only, these are all dualistic words,

[04:44]

wishing for something else, wanting to control the world, but not being able to. So, he controls the world. Uman, Master Uman, controls his world by not controlling. If you try to control by controlling, you lose control. If you try to cut off by cutting off, you leak. So, you know, Our biggest complaint is, I can't control my mind.

[05:49]

I have so much trouble controlling my mind. In Zazen, I can't control my mind. That's because you're trying to control your mind. So, What is not asking a dualistic question? You know, we still have this idea that there's some special state of mind that's called clarity or stillness.

[06:57]

In the main subject, Uman says, he spoke to his assembler, he said, each one of you has your own light. But if you try to see it, everything is in darkness. So, this light, you know, is called Komyo. Komyo, radiant light, or divine light, actually. It's translated either way. Divine Light or Radiant Light, Komyo-Zo. And Zazen is sometimes called Komyo-Zo Zamai, Samadhi of Radiant Light. Dogen talks about this. Minzan talks about this. Angeo talks about this. in very wonderful language.

[08:21]

And it's what we usually think of as enlightenment, komyozo, samadhi, samadhi of radiant light, which is the expression of zazen, when there's no dualistic thinking. But if we have some idea about what that light is, then we're in utter darkness. If you try to understand it, or if you try to delineate it, or give it some concept, if you call it red or blue or white, or some special attribute, then you can't see it.

[09:29]

Matter of fact, you can't see it. You can only be it. This is the thing about Zazen and about reality. You can only see it through its attributes. So, it's just another name for Buddha nature, which has no special characteristics, but everything is a characteristic of it. So it's not dark and it's not light in the usual sense. And it's not like a lamp, but it's the essence of each thing, of all dharmas.

[10:36]

It's the dharma of all dharmas. It's the activating principle of all dharmas. And it's your true nature. And this is what Dogen talks about when he says, It only, although it's there in each person, it's stimulated through Zazen. But wherever you look, there it is. This is Tozan's verse when he crossed the stream. He saw his reflection in the mirror.

[11:42]

He saw his image reflected in the stream. But, you know, if you look in the stream, the water's running and you don't really see your image. The stream itself is the image of Dozan. If he looked at a tree, the tree would be, he would see himself reflected in the tree. If he looked at a tile, he would see himself reflected in the tile. So this world of Komyo Zo, Zamae, is all-inclusive.

[12:44]

So sitting in Zazen is the all-inclusive world. Your big mind that includes everything. So is it mine or is it not mine? Well, the whole universe is yours. Belongs to you. And you're free to use it. But be careful. Because it can hit you. So, we have various terms, you know, komyo-zo-zamae is one term, and then there's ju-ju-yu-zamae, the self-fulfilling or self-joyous samadhi.

[13:59]

But self-joyous samadhi is also an aspect of Konyozo samadhi. You know, Vairochana is the Buddha of radiant light, Konyozo. So that's a kind of, you know, idealization. Vairochana Buddha is the source the light Buddha, the source of light, source of, is the Dharmakaya. So, Self-Joyous Samadhi is an aspect of our Bhairavachana nature.

[15:04]

Actually, Vairochana is also our self. So, when we are settled in this Konyo-Zo, then we have Jiju-Yu, which is self-joyous Samadhi. And the other side is ta ju yu, which is expressing or reflecting the samadhi of others, or influencing others, or awakening samadhi in others. Kind of like your light touches the light of others and awakens that light. That's bodhisattva practice. So, we put our egos into practice, and bumping up against each other, we awaken the light in each other.

[16:14]

This is sangha practice. So, Guru Nanak says, everybody, each one of you has your own light, and if you try to see it, but if you try to see it, everything is in darkness. So, what is everybody's light, is the question. And later, in place of his disciples, he said, the halls and the gate, or temple storeroom and the temple gate, In other words, is there some place where it's not? We say, don't, Suzuki Roshi used this term, don't try to see yourself as an object.

[17:20]

Don't look at things as objects. Everything is subjective. In other words, everything is an aspect of myself. If we just practice for our own self, for our own sake, we don't awaken that in the same way. Because then we just practice reinforcing ego. So this is one of the dangers of practice. There are several dangers of practice. One of them is egotistical practice in the name of practice. Practicing to get somewhere.

[18:22]

Practicing to attain our own enlightenment before others. or in order to have some position, or people will mystify people in some way. So the hall is in the gate. Why not? And then he said, but, you know, It may be better to say nothing, even if it's something good, so that his monks, his students wouldn't attach to some special thing, some special answer. And then you tuck the answer in your belt and you say, now I have the answer. So, as soon as you have the answer, you should burn it.

[19:27]

As soon as you feel that you have a stroke of enlightenment, you should forget it. You know, to have an enlightenment experience and then tuck it away in your pocket as your treasure will burn a hole through your pocket. So what we do with the enlightenment experience is put it into sweeping the floor, or washing the toilet, or cooking a meal, or serving a meal, or relating to some people So this is, you know, how we illuminate.

[20:51]

We allow, induce, or let loose, enlightenment and it fills practice. Let loose of enlightenment and it fills practice. And you don't see it as enlightenment. You only see it as practice. This is the meaning of hide your light in the mud. and let your faults hang out. If you see someone using enlightenment as a self-enhancement, you know that it's not enlightenment.

[22:00]

And, you know, in Zazen, the more difficult the Zazen, the brighter the light. So, you know, we sit, and no matter how adept we are, there's always a point we come to that's tough. So this is where, when we really accept that difficulty and stay with it, just stay with it, not falling into one side or the other, the light is pretty strong.

[23:17]

Squeezes the light out of us. So, although, you know, Our instinct is to have things easy. We just have to deal with the hard stuff. But when we deal with the hard stuff, we feel good. That's why we keep coming back to Sachine over and over again. So, Sancho says, it illuminates itself absolutely bright. He's talking about this Comiarzo. It doesn't need anything else. And Uman gives a clue to the secret. The clue

[24:23]

The gate, the storeroom and the gate, that's his clue. Flowers have fallen and trees give no shade means there's nothing standing in the way. It's all very clear. Who does not see if she looks? Seeing is non-seeing. and non-seeing is seeing. Facing backwards on the ox, you ride into the Buddha hole. In other words, no need to control the ox. You just sit on it backwards and the ox finds its way in. That's controlling the ox by not controlling.

[25:48]

That's seeing by not seeing and non-seeing by seeing. Sekito in the Sando Kai says, God, don't. Right within light there is darkness, but don't see it as darkness. And right within darkness there is light, but don't meet it as light. Don't get confused. We don't make a distinction between what is spiritual and what is material.

[27:05]

We look for a kind of spiritual And we can find one, but we can easily go astray by looking for it. So, just stick to the ordinary. How do you find the most spiritual practice within the ordinary? That's our practice. But we always want something more. We always want something more.

[28:14]

It's very hard. So you can tell a student's progress when they stop looking for something else and just settle in the moment with what's here. without being restless. So when we sit, even though we have difficulty, even though it's very, you know, we all have difficulty, just to be very still, very still. Just experience this.

[29:18]

Come as though they're mine. Do you have a question? You mentioned some of the motives for sitting, which could create danger. What I'm interested in, I'd like to know more about what are the dangers that could be created? Oh, well, the danger of egotistical practice, in other words.

[30:21]

What I think I mentioned was just practicing by yourself, which is doing something for yourself, that in itself can be dangerous. What is the danger? Well, the danger is coming to self-improvement. gratification. This practice is the practice of not just... it's like letting go of ourself and Practicing with others. That's the practice.

[31:26]

Letting go of our own idea and just practicing with others. So that it doesn't just benefit me, but we practice for the benefit of all of us. So the danger This is the Elizabeth Suzuki version you just said. He said, just practicing with others is, you know, you don't have to worry about your ego. The ego gets taken care of in the process. But just to practice by yourself is, can easily inflate your ego. It reinforces ego practice, because it's for your own benefit. We don't practice for our own benefit.

[32:33]

We practice for the sake of practice, which benefits others and ourselves. But just to practice for your own benefit looks pretty good, you know. And sometimes you do that, but it's not what we call practice. Well, you know, gradually he would sit less and less and stop doing a lot of the things, you know, and just dealing with the cancer became his practice.

[33:57]

That was his practice, dealing with the cancer. But he wasn't able to sit for, you know, So when you're in bed and sick, that's your practice. How you stay, how you practice as a, with your illness. This is, there are many, you know, tales about that, stories about how people practice with their illness as practice. understanding. So I think it's obvious you're not saying that to come to the Zen Do and be in bodily contact with others is necessarily preferable to practicing at home alone.

[35:19]

One can have a large empathic practice anywhere and one can come to the Zen Do and have a selfish practice. You're in no way suggesting that a practice in the Zen Do is necessarily preferable. I am. Yes, the ripeness, when your practice is ripe, then you don't do it just for yourself. You don't practice for yourself. Yeah, you know, always seek out others to practice with.

[36:20]

Yeah. I never, I rarely sit by myself. To me it's, I don't want to say a social practice, but it is. It's kind of, you know, something that I do with other people. I don't do it by myself. But I'm sure you know, have known people who do practice by themselves. I do. Who practice as large and inclusive. Well, I do know people who practice themselves. I don't know if their practice is large and inclusive. And you don't know whether it isn't either? No.

[37:20]

Okay. I do it. Lastly, you made reference to something that I've heard before, like in Cultivating the Empty Field, I think I read it, a light emitting from within a circle. Yeah, from the center, standing in the, sitting in the center from where light issues forth, from Hongjue. What is that? That's Zazen. Coming from, sitting within the center, sitting in this, standing in the center of the circle from which light comes forth. It's a great statement.

[38:22]

Could you just read the quote from Suzuki Roshi again? He says, egolessness does not mean to give up your own individual practice. True egolessness should forget egolessness. As long as you believe my practice is egolessness, that means you stick to ego, because you stick to giving up ego-centered practice. When you practice your own practice together with others, then true egolessness happens. That egolessness is not just egolessness. It also includes ego practice. But at the same time, it is a practice of egolessness that is beyond ego or egolessness.

[39:29]

So before that, he says, we put emphasis on selflessness. So if a teacher's or a disciple's practice of ritual or observation of precepts is not selfless, then it's not the true way. When we practice together, we should forget our own practice. It is each individual's practice, yet it is also others' practice. For instance, when we practice chanting, we say, recite the sutra with your ears. Then with our ears we listen to others while our mouths are practicing our own practice. Here we have complete egolessness in this true sense. So, it's how you interact and how you do your own practice, but you also interact with others, the practice of others. I want to follow through with a composer, a poet, a painter of necessity, practice, and solitude.

[40:58]

And I've often thought of this as another expression of self-centeredness. And so what is the difference when you say that we should direct our efforts to being with others in Zazen? Well, painting is painting, poetry is poetry, and Zazen is Zazen. And each one is a different discipline and has its own way of practice. So if I was painting, I would just be painting. I wouldn't say, this is Zazen. I would say, this is painting. Since they're not social then, would you say that they don't stretch out into the fertile area that we cultivate in Zazen?

[42:02]

Well, you know, they're equating apples and oranges. of those fruits. Yeah. That's right. An apple is an apple and an orange is an orange. You know, they're both delicious. And they both have their way of—resign for being. Then if one wants to be a composer, You have to make a choice. But you can still do Zazen and be a composer. It's just that when you're composing, you're composing. When you're doing Zazen, you're doing Zazen. And then, composing is also Zazen. And Zazen is composing. Will you write a book on that?

[43:04]

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