So we'll be sitting for three days. And so I thought I would talk about harmonizing of body, breath, and mind, which is what we're doing here. This is what we should be concentrating on. in our zazen. So I just want to remind everyone of what we're doing to keep mindful and aware of breath, body, and mind, and feelings. Feelings are also included. So there are four things body, breath, feelings, and mind.

[01:10]

And these four are always interacting with each other and always affecting each other. So, breathing affects our mental states It affects our feelings, and it affects our body. And our mental states affect our breathing, affect our feelings, and affect our body. And our body affects our breathing, our mental states, and our feelings. And feelings affect our breathing, mental states, and our body. So, these four aspects are constantly interacting and affecting each other in subtle and not so subtle ways.

[02:26]

But the key, actually, is breath. As a matter of fact, breath is called ki. We say this part of our anatomy, where our breathing feels to be, is called the ocean of ki, or the sea of ki. Not to be confused with F sharp. Suzuki Roshi called it rice paddies, the place where you settle, the place where actually happiness and joy arise from. It's the place where the monkey is at ease.

[03:45]

It's a place where the monkey is at ease. You know, we say the mind is like a monkey swinging from branch to branch. and very restless. And it can only land somewhere for a little while, for a moment, and then it's off again to another branch. And our Thinking apparatus is continually evolving like a roaring stream and new thoughts are constantly flooding into the mind and overtaking, occupying our mind. So, this is the balance point.

[04:55]

our mind, and our emotions, and our body. So, awareness of breathing is to be aware of the breath in our lower abdomen. Of course, the breath doesn't reach to our lower abdomen, it only reaches the bottom of our lungs. But it feels like when you inhale, the lower abdomen should expand like a balloon. This expands, and then when you exhale, it contracts like a balloon. You suck all the air out of a balloon, and it contracts. So this is the breathing process. And the breathing process is affected by our mental state and by our body and our feelings.

[06:06]

So when we feel anxious or abused or afraid or criticized or uneasy in some way. The breath rises up. Then we're panting. We're feeling the breath up here in our chest. So we become unbalanced, top heavy. In Zazen, all the weight goes down. So from here up is not much, but this is where the weight and the profundity is, down below this point.

[07:15]

So it's not so important to dwell on thinking mind. And it's not so important to dwell on feelings, but we can't ignore thinking mind and we can't ignore feelings. So, when the mind, whatever mental state we have, mental states are continually changing. Mental state is whatever I'm thinking right now is a mental state. Then the next moment is another mental state. Mental states change so rapidly that we can't even keep track of them. But we do rationalize certain mental states as this is what I'm thinking now. But within this is what I'm thinking now, there are numberless mental states that are continually changing.

[08:34]

But we recognize certain mental states like happiness or unhappiness or I'm thinking about someone I like or I'm thinking about someone I don't like or I like cake and I don't like ice cream. or I like somebody, I don't like somebody, or somebody said something about me, or I said something about them, or they don't like me, and so forth. And it just goes on and on and on. Or I would rather be someplace else. And these mental states affect our breathing. So to be aware of the breath all the time, is to find a settled mind.

[09:46]

We settle the mind by settling the breath. And we settle the feelings by settling the breath. Usually we think that the mind leads, which is true. The mind does lead. But sometimes the breath leads. Sometimes the emotions lead. And sometimes the body leads. sometimes the body seems to have a mind of its own. So when we settle with the breath, settling with the breath means when a mental state arises, to be aware of that mental state with the breath. to breathe with that mental state. So I am thinking this thought, you don't think this way, but the process is thinking this thought, I am breathing deeply.

[11:05]

Feeling this feeling, I am breathing deeply. Holding my body in this posture, I am breathing deeply. We really notice this and it really comes to our attention when we have a lot of pain in zazen. When we have a lot of pain in zazen, there's nothing else to do except concentrate on the breath. Feeling this painful legs with the breath. Breathing into this painful feeling. The mind calms down. The mind loses its attachment. So the key is to be one with.

[12:10]

the mind observes. But the observation and the thing observed are not two things. So when the mind is observing a painful feeling, the pain and the mind are not two things. And the pain and the mind and the breath are not three things. So when one breathes with the pain, the pain and the breath are not two things. The breath draws the poison. out of the pain.

[13:26]

It draws the astringency out of the pain and settles the mind. The problem that we have is not so much the pain as our state of mind. a lack of concentration on the breath. This is why, although concentration is not the most important thing, concentration is very important. When we lose concentration, then anxiety takes over or mental states take over.

[14:28]

So, in Sazen especially, we should be aware of the breath all the time. Just to always keep coming back to the breath. to be aware of the breath within every mental state, to be aware of the breath within every feeling, and to be aware of the breath within every bodily posture. So, you know, during Zazen, we go around the body, checking our posture. So we keep our back straight and we are aware of the breath within the spine, breathing within the posture of the spine, breathing into the posture of the spine or with the posture of the spine.

[15:52]

And then I check the mudra and I'm breathing within the posture of the mudra. And keeping my jaws together, my tongue at the roof of the mouth, I'm breathing with the position of the mouth and the tongue. so that the breath and the posture are not two things. Breath is posture, and posture is breath. Breath is joy. Breath is pain. Breath is my thought, and the thought is the breath.

[17:00]

Dogen says, the art of zazen is think not thinking. What is to think not thinking? Actually, this is a question to Daoshan, Cao Shan. What is think not thinking? What do you think of in thinking? Think not thinking. What is not thinking? It's the not thinking. It's beyond thinking and not thinking. It's the thought and the activity are not two things. When there's activity, there's the thought.

[18:15]

And where there's a thought, there's the activity. You can't say which is which. This is called not straying. It's the same with the breath. The breath and the thought are the same. The breath and the body are the same. Not the same, but they're one, not two things. So this is how our concentration should be in zazen. Continually adjusting and continually letting go and settling the mind and the body and the feelings with the breath down here.

[19:17]

So this way, everything comes to rest here. Everything comes to ease in the hara. The thoughts are composted in the hara. The feelings are composted in the hara. You may feel, I have an important thought, or I have an important feeling. I don't want to let go of this feeling, or I don't want to let go of this thought. But if we don't let go of this thought or this feeling, this thought or this feeling will eat us up. There's nothing wrong with having a thought or feelings, thoughts and feelings. Thoughts and feelings simply arise. Good thoughts, good feelings, bad thoughts, bad feelings, they arise.

[20:23]

But they just get turned over, turned under. And when they get turned under, it loosens up the soil and allows our Buddha nature to emerge, our non-dual Buddha nature. So, breath, paying attention to breath, you know, we say sometimes when we begin to sit, You should count your breath. We should learn how to count our breath, but it's not necessary to count your breath all the time. We should just allow the breath to settle.

[21:29]

Counting the breath is a way of accessing, but it's not something that needs to be continued. So once we access through counting, we let go of the counting and simply let the breath be, just like we let the body settle, we let the mind settle, we let the feelings settle, and we let the breath settle without interfering. So it's difficult to let our mind be subtle enough to follow the breath. It's not controlling or not controlling, neither controlling or not controlling. Sometimes we feel like the mind is controlling the breath, but And sometimes we feel that the breath is controlling the mind.

[22:42]

And sometimes we feel that neither is happening. But just to let the rhythm be and follow that, in order to do that, we have to just let go of everything. And just let the boat drift down the river We have to paddle out a little bit in order to get into the stream, but then we just let the boat drift down the river. Sometimes we're aware of the breath, and sometimes we're not. Sometimes the breath just disappears, which is okay as long as the harmonious activity is working.

[23:49]

As long as the harmonious activity between body, breath, feelings, and mind are smoothly in accord, then you can forget the breath in the same way as you let go of the feelings. and let go of the thoughts. In this way, we let go of self and just experience our true self. without interference. And this is also how we can live our daily life, even though in our daily life we have to tune into our brain power, discursive thinking, discriminative thinking,

[25:14]

It can be based on this non-discriminating mind, non-discriminating activity, non-discriminating harmonious activity. Also, we can study the non-duality of birth and death with our breath, with each breath. And when we really are turned into each breath, our life on each moment, just as it is, without anything extra.

[26:26]

This is called peacefulness. Not bothered by birth and not bothered by death. You know, Dogen brings up this question in Shoji, his fascicle on birth and death. The two statements, there is no Buddha within birth and death. And yes, there is a Buddha within birth and death. This is his koan. Within birth and death, there is Buddha.

[27:29]

Well, Buddha means beyond birth and death. Just the reality of this moment. Within birth and death, within the birth and death of this moment, there is Buddha. And there is no Buddha within birth and death at this moment, which is true. They're actually two sides of the same statement. In order to solve this problem, Just allow the breath. Appreciate the breath.

[28:32]

Be one with the breath in whatever you're doing. When we feel some emotion, some strong emotion, and we can't free ourselves from it, we can't find a solution, always come back to the breath. Always come back to the breath. Here. If you have some daunting task to perform, just stay here. in Zazen, during the Sashin, you feel that you have to move.

[29:57]

Before you move, come back to here. Just give everything over to the breath. Just give your whole life over to the breath. The most difficult thing in that position and the most wonderful thing at the same time is to just be in that breath. One breath at a time. This is called thoroughly living this moment. Sometimes the breath feels like it's just here.

[31:22]

And then sometimes it feels like it fills our whole body. When you have some problem, you know, you can push the breath down like a silent hum. pushing the breath down with the diaphragm. It's a kind of aerobic experience. And it evens out the breath through the whole body. And when it evens out the breath through the whole body, it evens out the feelings through the whole body. It evens out the mind through the whole body. It evens out the body through the whole body so that there's not one special place.

[32:30]

And so the body, mind, feelings come to help you because all the other parts take some part of the problem. so that it's not all concentrated in one spot. The rest of the body shares your problem. Your feelings share your problem. Your mind shares your problem. Equally, So there's always a place to go to. You know, when we die, what we think about is our last breath.

[33:35]

When we are born, what we think about is our first breath. So from beginning to end, breath is the thread. Breath is the touchstone. You can also think of the breath as being circular. When you exhale, you breathe 80 percent, exhale, and then inhale again 80 percent, and then exhale 80 percent. So it's not all gone, but it's kind of like a circle, a cycle, in and out. But at the same time, we don't think about it going through the nose or all the way up, but it's a circle here.

[34:43]

It's kind of like when you have a hand pump and you pump water, there's a downstroke and the upstroke, but the water just goes in one direction. Is there breath before birth or after death? No. No breath before breathing. The mother breathes for the child. And then when the child is born, the child breathes for itself.

[35:52]

This is why, I don't think they always do this, but remember they used to always give the child a spank. And the spank was to induce the breathing, start the breathing. So the mother breathes for the child, or the mother's body breathes for the child. And then the child separates from the mother and breathes on its own. Ross? Thank you. Thank you for 15 years of teaching. Today's talk for me was very easy to follow and the rhythm of my breathing felt in harmony with your talk. And I think about the talk a week or two ago when you started speaking about It may be projection on my part, but it felt like the energy coming out from you and perhaps the air and how that moved was very different.

[37:08]

And it reminds me of my own breathing when I get animated or agitated about things that cause me discomfort, either a direct... ago and now. Can you share with me and us how to deal with things that cause this agitation and discomfort and when to like maybe not push down on the diaphragm to get the breathing but just to say that hurts or something is wrong here. It's like when to take a step forward and when to take a step back. And I know it always changes but it just It just, it feels different to me today and last week. And I checked it out with other people and said, yeah, Sojin was really kind of animated and there was something there.

[38:16]

Animation, I don't know even about animation, but animation is okay. Yeah, animation is okay. Did you feel that I was unsettled? Well, it's just projection. I just feel that in my hearing you, I'm breathing and there's a certain equanimity in what I feel in my practice in connection with you. And during that talk, it just brought up things for me in my agitation around other people and places and institutions and such. And it's not that same kind of even-handedness and groundedness. That's interesting. Someone else told me that my talk was so sweet and gentle. Interesting. Different perceptions. Yeah, they're different perceptions. And maybe 15 years ago it may have been less sweet and gentle, and over time, because I know from my own experience when I've had problems with people, I can respect them in a certain way where my expression is contained more or less harsh.

[39:33]

Well, you know, I think that when there's reason to be critical, we need to be critical. But at the same time, our critical attitude needs to be grounded. So, if we let our critical attitude stop our activity or upset our activity, then it becomes a problem. or if we let it obsess our mind so that we can't operate, or that it moves us in some way, then that's a problem.

[40:50]

But that doesn't mean that we shouldn't be critical when we need to be critical. But we shouldn't let that critical attitude create, push us off of our true place. So in other words, we need to be critical with composure. We need to maintain our own composure at the same time that we're dealing with things that we feel are not correct. Otherwise, we can't just say, well, everything is okay, you know, even though it's not. Is that Paul back there?

[41:53]

Yeah. You have to speak up. I'm feeling that my breath, this isn't my breath, and it isn't my body. It's the whole idea of holding on to and possessing it. Right. That's true. It's not your breath, it's not your body, it's not your mind. It's this body, this breath, this mind. These feelings. Yes. That's called the harmony of body, breath, feelings, and mind. There are these four rivers, but they're not a person. They're not a real entity.

[42:55]

They're just these flowings, these four rivers that flow together. And they have a name called Paul. Nothingness? No, no, there's nothing called nothingness. When we get into nothingness, then it's kind of draws us away from... It's not that there's something there. When a feeling's there, it's a feeling. It's not nothingness. It's just that it's not real. But it's there. What happens when you get into no eyes, no taste, no touch, no... Yeah, in emptiness, there are no eyes, no ears, no touch, no feelings.

[44:03]

That's right. Because feelings are dependent on something. Eyes are dependent on something. Nose is dependent on something. Smell is dependent on something. Seeing is dependent on an object. An object is dependent on the seeing. But that doesn't mean nothingness. What does nothingness mean? What? What do you say about nothingness then? I have nothing to say about it. But it's time to go, so take care of your breathing.

[44:58]

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