Last week I talked about the three stages of practice, and I'd like to talk some more about it. You can talk about stages of practice in many different ways. Actually, we usually don't talk about any stages. Basically, we say, our practice is not practice of stages. So, since we know that our practice is the practice of no stages, no step-by-step stages, then we can talk about stages pretty freely. In Mahayana practice, according to the Avatamsaka Sutra, there are 52 stages of practice, and each one is laid out very systematically.

[01:10]

And in Zen practice, someone once made ten pictures, ox-herding pictures, which describe ten stages of practice. And those are very useful as a means to talk about practice. And Suzuki Roshi simplified it, and he talked about three stages of practice. So it depends on how we want to describe something. Three stages is a pretty easy way to talk about it. And so the way he described it was, the first stage is when we begin to practice the difficulties and the procedures that arise in beginning to practice, which may take many, many years.

[02:17]

And the second stage of practice is some kind of accomplishment in some actual attainment of a calm mind. And the third stage of practice is very much like the first stage. where you're not trying to accomplish anything in particular, but you just go along with things. But your going along with things helps everyone. The first stage of practice, really, is first and second stage.

[03:22]

I would like to talk about those. The first stage, someone, a friend of mine, not long ago said, you know, the thing that characterizes all of us is resistance. The one thing that all of us have in common in our practice is resistance. And I thought that was a very poignant thing to say. The first stage of practice is really characterized by resistance. And the second stage of practice is characterized by no resistance. That's kind of like the dividing line between the first stage and the second stage. So, and you can, I think by that you can tell which stage you're in.

[04:26]

So, our practice, you know, always has some resistance, almost always has some resistance, and even if we don't want to have resistance, or even if we think we don't have, usually it's there. Resistance we call by various names. One name for resistance is ego. Another name for resistance is self-centeredness. Another name is fear. Various names. Another name for resistance is desire. Another name is clinging. In the ox-herding pictures, the ten ox-herding pictures,

[05:44]

The first picture is like looking for a way. The student is looking for a way, and he sees the ox, he sees the traces of the ox, maybe the footprints, he or she. He in this case means he or she. So, just seeing the footprints, seeing some traces, And the second one is catching a glimpse. You know, you see, oh, this is practice. I see, you know. You sit in satsang, you know, and you do various things. And the third one is where you're actually engaged. And it's like, you've got, the ox is very difficult to handle. very hard to handle the ox.

[06:48]

And so, once you really become engaged, the ox wants to go its own way. This is the characteristic of our life, you know, we want to go our own way. And coming to practice is like tethering yourself. So tying the ox to a stick is the beginning of things, where practice starts from the tethering. And this is where all the trouble begins. is where all the problems arise from, is actually staying with something and not being given your own head. In Western tradition,

[07:54]

There's a wonderful tapestry that hangs in the cloisters in New York, and it shows a picture of a unicorn, and the unicorn has a fence built around it. There's a kind of correspondence, you know, the unicorn is, in a sense, corresponds to the ox. And the fence corresponds to the tethering. There's also a tree, I believe. And the tree is kind of the tethering post. And then there's a fence. And the symbolism is that the unicorn needs to grow up inside the space of the fence. There has to be some protection or some limitation.

[09:05]

The limitation of the fence is the field of practice. If the unicorn sees something outside the fence that looks very attractive, the unicorn may get some idea that that's what it wants to pursue. But since the fence is there, it can't really leave. So it turns its attention back into the field. Zen attitude is more The symbol is more of the ox than the unicorn, but it's an interesting way of seeing it.

[10:09]

The ox is very strong-willed, and even if you try to hold him down, it easily breaks away. So it takes a lot of determination to just get a hold of the ox. So, most of us are always in the stage of before tethering, just getting hold of the ox and before tying them to the post. Sometimes we get the rope around the post, but, you know, the bull sees something, some wonderful flower in the field, and dashes off, you know, running after him again, over and over again.

[11:20]

It's like that. And sometimes, just to break the ox's will sounds terrible. To break the ox's will. You know, we love that spirit, the ox's spirit. We don't really want to lose the ox's spirit or the unicorn's spirit. So maybe not break the will, but tame the ox or tame the unicorn, and preserve the spirit, not block that off. So, for us, you know,

[12:22]

Our daily practice of zazen and mindfulness of daily life is the tether. It's really the tether. That's the post or the tree. And how we limit our activity is the fence. And this is the first stage of practice, to actually put ourself in that position. And once we accept the situation and the motivation comes from ourself, in other words, up to a certain point we're led in practice. And when you can let go of the tether, when you can untie the rope and the bull stays, or the ox stays within the field, then that's called self-motivation.

[13:46]

And when you have that self-motivation, That comes with the confidence of the second stage, where you know your own deep mind. And your motivation comes from the depth of your being, rather than just from your idea, some ideas you have. So that's what we call peaceful mind, actually, or tranquil mind, where you're not really bothered by things.

[14:52]

on the surface of your mind, even though when I say mind, I mean body and mind together. Because you have experienced consciousness, which is non-discriminating consciousness, and you have confidence in your own deep mind. This is also called samadhi. We call it samadhi when, you know, usually the level of our mind is somewhere, you know, here at our nose or at our chin or at our neck or our chest. Where the bottom of our consciousness is can be various places, but when our consciousness is really bottomless and we feel a bottomless support,

[16:22]

That's called samadhi, just being in touch with our bottomless nature. It means that we don't rest at some idea, this idea. or this level of ideas, or this level of ideas, but there's a hole that goes all the way through. It's like when you have a bamboo tube, there are these sections, and each section has a membrane, And I think this is ... Dogen describes our consciousness like this, levels, you know, segments, segmented understanding.

[17:32]

When our understanding is no longer segmented, it just goes all the way through. then our consciousness rests in samadhi, or in the whole being, rather than on some level. So instead of our support coming through in trickles, it comes... it's very big. with support is limitless. So when we have that samadhi, power, sustaining power, then we feel confident in the second stage. And so our mind is very calm, and we're not so much bothered by every little thing that comes along.

[18:44]

And the third stage is when we can not remain in some special place, quiet place, But just turn around and go back to the first stage of dealing with everything as it comes along, and putting ourselves in a position that is not ideal, not necessarily ideal, but going along with the difficulties in the world. and facing all those difficulties. This is the hardest part, because when we get to the point where we really feel good, then we have to give that up.

[19:53]

And this is the stage where most people stumble. First stage, is very good, actually, because, you know, we're always struggling. We always feel that we're putting out our effort. And the first stage is really the stage of effort, hard effort. So, you know, we never really leave the first stage. Shouldn't ever leave the first stage. But the first stage is a foundation for the second stage. And it's really always there. And the second stage is a manifestation of the first stage and grows out of it. So maybe that's a better way to describe it. We don't really leave the first stage, but the second stage is a maturity of the first stage.

[20:56]

And the third stage is a maturity growing out of the second stage. So all three stages are really there together, so we don't really talk about stages, leaving one and entering another. So, you know, even if you're in the first stage, there are always glimpses of the third stage and the second stage, kind of mixed up. But why I want to talk about the first stage so much is because that's really where most of us are. And it's a big problem how to attend to practice, how to, in a busy life, you know, to turn our attention to a kind of discipline that allows practice.

[22:02]

If we don't have the discipline, some discipline, and some fence or field, then our effort is just kind of beginning always over and over again. In order to really have some fruit, there has to be some continuity. So the amount of effort is proportional to the amount of result. Or the amount of result is proportionate to the amount of effort. So resistance, of course, is natural.

[23:21]

And as well as being a problem, it's also the problem that we have to have. we have to be able to use resistance. You know, one very important part of practice is not to just accept it. You know, you have to accept it eventually, but you should also need to question it. But to question it at the same time that you practice it, if you just stand outside and question, that's not fair.

[24:24]

It doesn't work. But to practice and question at the same time means that you're engaged in earnest battle. just to stand outside and throw rocks, you know, that's not so good, but to get in there and mess it up, you know, will show your courage. So, if you actually get in and engage with your doubts, then you have some opportunity for your strong spirit to arise.

[25:26]

You can battle it out until finally you reconcile with yourself. Once you reconcile it with yourself and give up, then your mind of the second stage will appear. You know, you may not have some doubts. It's okay not to have doubts. But even if you don't have doubts, you have difficulty, which is the same thing. Resistance doesn't necessarily come from doubt, but just from the direction that our lives have been going in, just to make some shift.

[26:38]

Even if we make a little shift, it brings up difficulties. Some of us, our lives are very flexible, so a big shift is not so much, but some of us, our lives are not so flexible, so even a little shift in the direction of our life causes a big problem. In this kind of practice, we can't make some generalization about how to practice, but it has to be individual. Each one is in a different place. Every person who practices in this way is in a different situation. And so we have to be able to determine how to practice given the situation that we're in.

[27:40]

The best way to practice, you know, is to give up everything and go to a good practice place. But given the difficulties of that, we have to practice from the place that we find ourself in. And if we do that sincerely, that's true practice. And then our daily life becomes the field of practice. Our daily life situation becomes the form of practice. And of course that's the most difficult thing for us to grasp. How do you come home from work, you know, and find two children yelling and screaming and one of them is sick and you just want to sit down and relax a little bit, you know.

[28:55]

Here, you open the door and there's all this stuff coming at you. as an example. How do you practice in that situation? What's your practice in that situation? Well, that's actually the form of practice. If you have some experience, you know, if you're in the second stage, Instead of reacting to the situation, you respond to it. If you're in the first stage, maybe you react to the situation and get lost, but then you start thinking about it and try to figure out how to respond.

[29:59]

But in the second stage, I think you would automatically respond to the situation. There's a difference between reacting and responding. Reacting is when you have some level at which the thing comes back and gets stuck. the situation lands on some level. But responding means that the situation is completely taken in and doesn't have any place to land. And you have the space to respond from your own, from that place, from a deeper level and handle the situation. And that's a very important part of how we practice. How to take care of a situation, either by reacting or by responding.

[31:08]

And when we find ourselves caught in reacting, what we do is give the other side of the situation the upper hand. And responding is to accept the other side of the situation, and that you and the situation become one. And from that completeness, you can respond, because you're not separate from the situation. And this is the field of our practice, which is very difficult and needs our constant attention.

[32:13]

And how we know what our practice is, is if we know we're reacting or responding. If you can tell whether you're reacting or responding, you can tell whether you're practicing or not. Sometimes I catch myself reacting to situations, but when I realize, oh, I'm reacting to the situation, that's mindfulness of practice. It's not that you, you know, it's wonderful if you can always respond, but most of the time, or half the time, at least we find ourselves reacting. But if we know that that's what we're doing, then we know that we have mindfulness of practice.

[33:22]

Then we can, then we can, we have the opportunity to respond. So, most important aspect of practice is to have the mindfulness of practice all the time. You know, this looks like, this is our zendo. If someone says, where is your zendo? You say, that's over there on Russell Street. But actually, your zendo is wherever you happen to be. That's our zendo. Our zendo is this big world. So one other aspect of beginning practice, first stage, is to be able to take a low seat.

[34:57]

And by taking a low seat means to not always want your own way, but to see where you fit in to the picture of practice with other people. And to, you know, One of the big problems we have is kind of repression of authority. Nowadays, we feel that we have the repression of authority. My parents always told me to do this and that. My boss always told me to do this, and in school they said this. I just want to be free from all that. there's a reaction to, no matter what, I'm going to make up my own mind to do this and that, or I'm going to make the decisions.

[36:16]

Whether it's meaningful or not is not the point, but we have that desire for a certain kind of freedom from authority. But a restriction is authority, and a fence is authority, and tying ourself to a post is authority. It's like giving authority to a limitation. And when we work with other people, or practice with other people, we have to go by some guidelines or some rules.

[37:21]

And in order to have a tight fence, without holes in it, we have to put ourself under some kind of restriction as far as giving ourself our own head. So if we decide to give ourself over to some authority, That's our decision. It's not that someone is taking us over. But it's really our decision. When you come to practice, you decide that this is the way that I want to restrict myself.

[38:29]

It's not that there's some authority over you. But if you change your mind in the middle, Or if you are always wanting to jump over the fence, you cause yourself a lot of difficulty, and then you turn around and you say, well, I don't like authority figures, or I don't like authority. And you turn the situation around to make it seem like someone is holding something over you. But actually, the whole thing is your own decision. We say in Zen practice, it's a gateless gate. You just walk in. Where's the gate? It's everywhere. The gate in is everywhere. The gate out is everywhere. But, you know, you have to have your own discipline. And, you know, we talk about Dharma.

[39:38]

Dharma in Buddhism is universal law. It's not something that somebody made up. Not some idea that somebody had, but universal law, how the universe works, the law of how the universe works, is what dharma is. Not so much natural laws, physical laws, although that too, human nature law. And if we don't pay attention to those laws, we're always lost. We're always in difficulty. And that's what we're always looking for. We have suffering and pain and problems, and we look for, well, what's the natural law?

[40:44]

What's the real natural law? Not the law that somebody made up, but the natural law. In our meal chant, we say, the natural order of mind. We pay homage to the natural order of mind. But the natural order of mind is the law, natural law. And if you break that law, then you suffer. So, Zen practice has some kind of discipline and some kind of restricted activity so that you can learn what the law is, the natural law. If you don't have that, You just wander, and you feel, well, this is freedom, to wander, to just, you know, do anything I want. But freedom to do anything you want is not the natural law. It's the natural law of suffering.

[41:46]

So, you know, it's difficult. And... difficult to bring ourselves to that point and stay there where we can... until the point where we have our own motivation. And it's always a battle between the natural law and our own desire. There's a battle between our natural law and our own desire. And when our own desire is in accord with natural law, then there's no problem. And we try very hard to practice in the third stage.

[43:12]

But we do it all together. It's all going on at once. Separately and at once. But our sincerity is the most important thing. And what brings us to practice is our suffering. Because we have some suffering, we want to know, well, what is Zen practice? Do you have any questions? Sometimes one is neither able to react nor respond, but you're just standing there with it on your face.

[44:25]

Is that a personal temperament, or is that a universal condition? It's suffering. It's suffering. So we want to know, how do I get out of that? How can I get out of standing there with an egg on my face all the time and respond? So that's a problem, but it's a problem that should help us. When that happens to me, I should have been able to say something. Zen priest. I should have been able to say something. And I missed. But I know I missed, so I have to think, well, why did I miss? Why couldn't I respond to that? And that helps me.

[45:29]

I have to really think about it. Couldn't I respond to that? One thing I can think of is, oh Jesus, you know, I'm terrible. Or I can, you know, just accept it and work on it. So that incident gives you a problem. And that problem is what you need to work on. You know, it shows you what you need to work on. Where are you missing? That's very good, actually. It's very bad, but it's also very good. And that's how we practice. That's exactly how we practice. What happened? God, what happened? Yeah? I think it's a very difficult problem to keep some kind of balance between one's self-criticism and one's confidence. And it's very easy to let the criticism to get all involved in the criticism.

[46:32]

Well, it's not so much criticism in this case as...

[46:35]

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