Good evening, everyone. Welcome to our second class on birth and death and total dynamic working. I like that interpretation. That's Dr. Abadie's. I think it's not the title, but maybe in the translation that we do. So, two things before we begin. First of all, just to say we're going to have midnight and mid-practice period dinner on Saturday. And everyone is invited, everyone in the summit is invited, so long as you sign up, because it's important to know how many pizzas we're going to make, the pizzos we're going to make. So, please do sign up. And we also need help with... We need help in the kitchen?

[01:04]

I think we're pretty good. We need help on clean up. We really need help on clean up, yeah. We might need one or two more servers. Yeah. So, please think about that. Sign up on one of the sheets out there. Just for the... class itself, what I noticed, and I noticed this in myself, is that some people are very quick to come to a question, and in response, and some of us are slower. We need more time to get to that. So, if you are quick, encourage you to just hold back a little and give a space for people who are slower to come to what it is they're thinking or asking. It's not a question of intelligence. It's more a question of neurological wiring, perhaps.

[02:05]

So just keep that in mind. And I'm very interested in hearing from people whom we haven't heard from But I'm also interested in hearing from people who have thoughts and feelings about this. Okay, before we go on, are there any questions open or continuing from last week? Anything that's carrying over, that's on your mind? death is a settled matter for you, right? No problem. No problem. So, once... Yes, Dan? Your Seesaw. Can we do the first class over again, because I really didn't care. Well, you know what, we're kind of going to do the first class over again.

[03:10]

Yeah, anything else? So I'd like to go ahead and read for you the second half of this fascicle. And we will continue from there. I'm looking for the So I remember last week, I'm pretty sure it was last week, that you made that story of almost dying, or dying and coming back in a way.

[04:19]

As I recall, you said it was OK. You had this sense of sensation of this is OK. And I'm wondering if since that event many years ago, when you've been in situations that are either emotionally difficult or physically challenging, I know that you were in a car situation with a surgeon pushing an exit, if that experience arises, some memory of that, or some sense of that okayedness goes through your whole life, or the moment, and it's just a memory, and how does that inform your life as it comes down to you now, having had that really intense upburning experience? That's a good question. I don't know. I mean, part of the reason that it was okay, and I'm going to talk about this more on Saturday, but part of the reason that it was okay is that I was not in pain.

[05:29]

And in that thought, people don't know, I was so, I mean, you're an ethical person, we went to very low scenes, benefit concert at her place in Vallejo. And a soldier was driving in on the way back. We got hit by a car by somebody who went through the stoplight. And I saw it all unfolding. And I don't think that he did, but that's neither here nor there. I saw it all unfolding, and my response in that instant was, oh, you know, and really having a clear flesh, I don't know what's going to happen here, yes. And I did shout, I shouted a warning, but it wasn't a warning out of, I don't think it was out of alarm or fear so much in that case, and just realizing

[06:40]

I mean, the flash came through my mind, anything can happen here. And that was okay. But somehow I think, yes, is that... At that moment, yes. Yeah. Anything is okay because this was what was happening. But I do think that the absence of pain is a significant factor. That's just my personal feeling. Personal preference. Well, it certainly is a personal preference. Mine too. Thank you. Ron was encouraging me to think a little bit about my experiences professionally and bring some of that into the room. And when you're talking, what comes to mind for me is that when you're in a situation where you can die, you have no control over that.

[07:49]

It just is what it is. And that's a place where one's attention becomes very focused, and everything else becomes very clear. Neurologically, that's a well-described phenomenon. What I hear is grappling within this fascicle also includes, and maybe puts a little heavier weight on, when we think we have some choice. Living our life in this life with the recognition that at some point we're going to be confronted with extinction, the ending of things. And what's the quality of mind, how do we face that with the same kind of mind that has no birth and no death, that is willing to accept whatever it is on any given moment. which is quite different, because we think we have a choice. Yeah, I think that that's true. I'm going to speak to that a bit more on Saturday. But also, that's really at the heart of, to me, at the heart of the koan that Carol is working with.

[08:53]

Because at the heart of that koan, there's a choice. This is, I don't know if you're aware, her koan is about a man up a tree, is being asked to respond to a fundamental question I'm saying. So, we'll hear what Carol comes to in two weeks. Anything else? Yeah, Karen. Well, I also had an experience where I thought I was dying. I was working at the computer planning a Girl Scout weekend overnight. And I stopped breathing for a brief period of time. And I thought, oh, I'm leaving. I'm dying. Slight regret, but only slight regret.

[09:55]

Just oh. And I had a highly qualified first aider in the adjacent room that didn't occur to me that said, hey, perhaps, you know, just oh. I think that's, I wonder how many people must have that, where, again, no pain of course. I agree. Yeah. Howard, you know what I, what I discern, and it's interesting because I wrote a poem about this in 1969, that how simultaneously durable and tough our consciousness is, and how fragile it is. That it can, we think of it as something that just goes on, but then, you know, when you see, if you've experienced fainting, it's like, it just

[11:07]

goes away in an instant. There's this fragility too. And we're both. We have this fragility and we have this toughness, this greediness that keeps us going. Let me go on from here, okay? So I'm going to read from the Um, it's only one page. It's only one page. Classical, right? What? Cos and Arnie. Soji. Soji. Okay, not thank you. Not thank you. We haven't gotten to thank you yet. Thank you next week. Don't worry. It's a mistake to suppose that birth turns into death.

[12:09]

Birth is a phase that is an entire period of itself, with its own past and future. For this reason, in Buddhadharma, birth is understood as no birth. Death is a phase that is an entire period of itself, with its own past and future. For this reason, death is understood as no death. In birth there is nothing but birth, and in death there is nothing but death. Accordingly, when birth comes, face an actualized birth, and when death comes, face an actualized death. Do not avoid them or desire them. This birth and death is the life of a Buddha. If you try to exclude it, you will lose the life of Buddha.

[13:12]

If you cling to it, trying to remain in it, you will only lose the life of Buddha, and what remains will be the mere form of Buddha. Only when you don't dislike birth and death, or long for them, do you enter Buddha's mind. However, do not analyze or speak about it. Just set aside your body and mind, forget about them, and throw them into the house of Buddha. Then all is done by Buddha. When you follow this, you are free from birth and death, and become a Buddha without effort or calculation. Who then continues to think? There's a simple way to become Buddha. When you refrain from unwholesome actions, are not attached to birth and death, and are compassionate towards all sentient beings, respectful to seniors and kind to juniors, not excluding or desiring anything,

[14:27]

With no designing thoughts or worries, you will be called for Buddha. Do not seek anything else. So this first section, the mistake is to suppose that Buddha, that birth turns into death, birth is a phase and the entire period itself. This is very much Like what we know in Jacobon, where Tolkien says, Firewood becomes ash, and it does not become firewood again. Yet do not suppose that the ash is future, and the firewood past. You should understand that firewood abides in the phenomenal expression of firewood, which fully includes past and future, and is independent of past and future. Ash abides in the phenomenal expression of ash, which fully includes future and past.

[15:33]

Just as firewood does not become firewood again after it is ash, you do not return to birth after death. So birth is a phase that's an entire period of itself. We were talking about this last week. We were talking about these two positions. the position of birth and death as moments as particular dharma moments and we were talking about as part of the process an ongoing process of where things do flow in time. And Daubin's argument is that it is both.

[16:34]

It's both. Depending on which perspective we're looking for, it is simultaneously, or alternately, the momentary awareness, the momentary perception or the one that delineates the flow. So in this paragraph, in these two paragraphs, this one and the next one, birth here is nothing but birth, and death here is nothing but death. Accordingly, when birth comes, face and actualize birth, and when death comes, face naturalized death, do not avoid it, or reside in them. So that's kind of delineating the dharma moment of these experiences.

[17:41]

That they have a particularity. They have a future and a past, but in a moment we are born. and in a moment we die. When do we delineate the moment of birth? From our provisional basis it's, you know, when the baby emerges, you slap it, and it takes its first in-breath. And the death is when it takes its last exhalation. And so, in the entirety of a lifetime, there's an equal number of annihilations and exhalations. We enter an annihilation, and enter an exhalation. That's what we provisionally delineate as So this is one of the formulations that Dobin is laying out.

[19:01]

I also want to point out that somebody, or a number of people noted, this is very philosophical, what we're talking about here. And the question, of course, comes back to how does this, what's the relevance of this in our own life? So I just want to leave it open for us. Well, you know, there's a discussion going on now about abortion rights, and when is birth detected, and thinking about when our parents got together, and when we were conceived and before that. And so, can you say a little bit about the beginning of the birthlessness of our birth? Or do you think that's irrelevant in our day-to-day?

[20:02]

I'd actually like to hear what other people think. Yeah, Andrea. As you read that, I was thinking about the question, who then continues to think? That whole line, I had underlined that last one, but I thought you were going to start at the beginning of the book. But I underlined that line, and the line before it, when you follow this, you are free from birth and death and become a Buddha without effort of calculation. But it made me think about, as you read it today, it made me think about relationships, all relationships, and how You know, they have like birth and death too. And when you think about what's being said here, it sounds really simple. Like, oh, OK, I can do that, and then after, you know what, I'll care for it in calculation, OK? But no, you can't really do that. So it just makes me think, like, why I practice?

[21:07]

You know, why do I even come here and do this and practice out there? I think about that sometimes, but when things happen, like I've had a lot of things happen at work. I've had a lot of things happen in my personal relationships in the past six months. But the way I confront it is different. So for example, I used to be a lot more aggressive than I am about things now. And I used to be a lot more stingy than I am now. I'm not just saying that I'm not still selfish. But the way that I relate to it is different. So I guess my point is, you know, after you've studied it, I see it in my life. I can't really think about it. I just kind of have to keep living my life to see it. And, you know, coming back to class and reading these things, kind of, I have moments where it's like, oh, OK, I can see that that happened here. Or maybe I experienced that there, possibly.

[22:09]

So with that question, though, who then continues to think, that's a question that kind of scared me, because the more I see myself change in certain areas, and if I don't see myself change in other areas, I wonder who, you know, what's going on with me, or who am I? But it continues to think, I don't know. Yeah, that's the question. It continues to think. I don't know. [...] And I suppose that if someone asked her about burning firewood, that also has its own thing, its own aspect, even though there's transformation happening.

[23:12]

So that's how I relate this philosophical text to my practice. Alex? In response to your point, Andrea, I'd like to compare the two translations on this question. And that made it clearer to me, because the other guy says, who would want to become stuck in their own mind? And that's a little bit more like, okay, yeah, I see where you're coming from. Where would that be in the other translation? The Nearman on the top of the last one. Yeah, but where would that think was the cause of their thinking? Well, that's the translation of who then continues to think. I mean, I think there's this valence to the word think, which gets a little mixed up sometimes, where a lot of times when people are talking about thinking, they're talking about extraneous thinking. I think that's what cause means. He's talking about who then continues to apply extraneous thought.

[24:15]

That's how it gels with near-miss cancellation. I think it's focused on the who, not the thinking. I'm sorry, where is the mulligan? It's on page 7. It's at the bottom of the second to last paragraph. It's the end of the paragraph. Oh, yeah, yeah, I got it, I got it, I got it. The rest of us don't have it. Where is it? No, it's at the bottom of the next to last paragraph of the Kotler translation. Page 8. And it's at the top of the last paragraph. If that paragraph reads, let me read the paragraph. However, do not analyze or speak about it. Just set aside your body and mind, forget about them, and throw them into the house of Buddha. Then all is done by Buddha. When you follow this, you are free from birth and death and become a Buddha without effort or calculation.

[25:16]

Who then continues to think? What's the Nirman translation? who would want to become stuck in their own mind. Okay, before that, however, do not use your mind to measure this. Do not use your voice about it. When you simply let go and forget all about my body and my mind, relinquishing them to the life of Buddha and letting them be put into operation from the vantage point of Buddha, then when we rely on this, following where it leads, without forcing the body or laboring the mind, we free ourselves from the life of death and become Buddha. And who would want to become stuck in their own mind? You know, I don't want to skip over the paragraph before that. So let me go back before we take this on. So that paragraph, the first two paragraphs to me are laying out this Dharma moment, the momentary

[26:19]

approach to birth and death, that each is a dharma moment in and of itself. This paragraph is putting forward to me the other view, the other perspective, the perspective of flow, where he says this birth and death is the life of Buddha. So the life of Buddha includes living, being born and dying. If you try to exclude it, you will lose the life of Buddha. If you claim to it, trying to remain in it, meaning if you're stuck on any of these particular moments, you will also lose the life of Buddha. And what remains will be the mere form of Buddha. The form of Buddha is like that statue that we have on the altar, which seems unmoving.

[27:24]

It seems fixed. in a posture, in a mudra, in a position, and this is how we think of the Buddha. We think of the Buddha as unmoving. That's the form of Buddha. Only when you don't dislike birth and death, or long for them, do you enter Buddha's mind. So Buddha's mind includes the complete flowing reality of birth and death. So this is putting forward this other perspective. I think that clarifies for me the meaning of the word undivided. Because undivided, like actualized things, perhaps have to be. But when you think of it as the division of life and death, not being divided, the meaning of the word is clarified to me.

[28:25]

And the fact that it's active, that there's this constant motion. Yes, and I think that will become a lot clearer when we get to Zanki next week, which we could translate as undivided activity, or as the whole works, which is really an interesting play on words, or total dynamic working. I just wanted to comment that it seems to me that total dynamic working is describing the activity of the moment, whether that moment is encountering death, resisting death, dying, clenching, using the toilet, wiping, all those things are not just dramatic life and death, so if we are just doing one thing,

[29:28]

then the next moment comes, who is the next thinker? It's not the person who is just dying. It's the person who is now resisting death, or living, or wiping, or cleansing. And the point is, is that if you're mixing up any of those, you're denying dynamic, total dynamic working, which is the action of the being in the present, including everything that's there in the present. So, whether you're resisting, or hoping to live, or dying, I think he's not saying don't not do any of those. All of those are okay, but just do one at a time. Is that straight? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think we will get to this, I think, when we talk about thinking more. John? Do we need the Dharma moment to get to this? Is that something that's needed for understanding this text? Or can we understand this text with just the I think that it's... I'm curious to know what other people think.

[30:36]

I think this is a key part of, yes, the non-duality of Dogen's teaching. This is an essential part of his thinking. But wouldn't the flow be undivided as the non-duality? Not necessarily. because it implies continuity. And what Dogen is saying is there is continuity and there is discontinuity. So it's important that we try to get our minds around both perspectives. Because if it's just continuity, it seems like it has an almost inevitable, almost an inevitability that it's just flowing.

[31:36]

Whereas if it's discontinuous, then there is this miniscule space where mind can intervene and make decisions that are redirecting the moment. And I think that discontinuity allows us that. I think it allows us that space. One quick question. Continuity, what if it's absolute change? Absolute change, is that the same for you as continuity, as continuous flow? Because absolute change would have there's no, there is no possibility, absolutely. Let's hold on, let's hold on and we get to thinking. Because I think that that addresses that. You know, and we can all go there and work on that together.

[32:40]

I always come back to particularly with Dogen, the context that he's teaching. Like, what's the emphasis of the good medicine that he's giving in this context? And I always think about this historical context and the sangha context and, you know, where in his life he was. Because to me, it's very moving that all of this culminates in this paragraph that, to my ears, really emphasizes And the point of all this is behavior, you know, sort of diverge to what I heard Andrea and Alice name, just about relationship, you know, self and others, so to speak. And particularly, this is about bodhicitta. I mean, this is actually about, are we coming from the interconnectedness of all life and responding appropriately? Ethics, therefore precepts, therefore compassion, respect, kindness, wholesome.

[33:48]

You know, and also that it's framed both in terms of negation, you know, like refrain from unwholesome. You know, why not say do good, you know? Why say refrain? But we have that in the precepts, right? We start with... In the pure precepts. In the pure precepts, we start with cease from. Before we get to that, let's look at the paragraph before. Because there's something else to me happening there that sets the stage of that which is very interesting. So, however, do not analyze or speak about it. Just set aside your body and mind, forget about them. and throw them into the house of Buddha. Then, all is done by Buddha. When you follow this, you are free from birth and death, and become a Buddha, without effort or calculation.

[34:56]

Who then continues to think? Can someone read Meermont's paragraph? However, do not use your mind to measure this and do not use your voice just to mouth it. When we simply let go of and forget all about my body and my mind, relinquishing them to the life of Buddha and letting them be put into operation from the vantage point of Buddha, then, when we rely on this, following where it leads, without forcing the body or laboring the mind, we free ourselves. from life and death and become Buddha. Great. So, I wonder what this suggests to any of you before I posit something. Yeah, Susan? To me it sounds like he's talking about don't hesitate. Okay. And that kind of relates to what you were saying earlier about we have a choice.

[36:01]

Bruce? To me, this kind of points to the question of why we practice. If life always happens in the moment, why do we do all of the studying and kind of training the way that we use our incarnation, our mind, body, kind of pushing us in the right direction so that we're slowly becoming more able to encounter that moment. I think the freedom from life and death is the freedom from anything. And what I get when I read this is that, OK, I'm free from life.

[37:13]

I'm not going to sit here and worry about keeping it going. I'm free from death. I'm not going to sit here anticipating its arrival. So in this moment, what's going on is what I'm doing. So it's not like we're going to suddenly become beings. I certainly don't get that from this at all. We're not free to suddenly become beings. We're free from death. It's the same as being free from your fear of the opinions of others. You could be living in that all day long, or you could have opinions come your way and you deal with them, or, you know, something in between, you know what I mean? So, if we're always worrying about preserving life, we're not living. If we're always worrying about opinions, we're not really free at all, either. I think one thing he's doing is acknowledging the limitations of the verbal constructs he's been setting up so far. I think a lot of the structure that people have been finding frustratingly abstract or philosophical, I think part of that is because he tends to posit something and then immediately posit its opposite.

[38:27]

That's just sort of how that's his way. It's his way. And I think it is, you know, it's because he doesn't want to take any particular figure and identify it with non-duality. If continuity is non-duality, well, continuity has an opposite of this, which is discontinuity, and then you're dual once again. So I think after a certain point, where I think at this point he brings in experience as a way of writing. So my focus has gone to my body and my mind, and I'm thinking about Someone that I took care of, who I knew through her early to mid-90s. And when I met her, she was a very capable, competent poet. Very verbal and very able to express herself. Very comfortable in that. She'd studied mindfulness as part of a meditation group that was in her assisted living. And over the time I knew her, she began to lose her mental abilities.

[39:28]

She began to lose her ability to focus, to be able to verbalize. You could still tell that she had a way with words and was a poet, but she had a hard time pulling it off. She developed heart failure. She wasn't so capable physically anymore. Her energy wasn't so good. And sometimes she struggled with that. Sometimes she would come into clinic and she'd say, you know, I'm ready to die. This life is really not meaningful to me. And sometimes she would come in and she would say, no, when I'm just present, I don't have those worries. My mind, her idea of who she was, how her mind should work, her idea of how her body, a burden though it was, painful though it was, when she wasn't caught up in it and she just would show up for it, she was completely in the house of Buddha. I want to share with you something that came up for me as I was reading this, which is that this paragraph is pretty much akin to a Pure Land Buddhist perspective.

[40:50]

However, do not analyze the speech. Just set aside your body and mind, forget about them, and throw them into the house of Buddha. Then all is done by Buddha. This is very much a kind of, in the midst of all this, the recognition of an other power perspective on freedom. Do you know what I'm talking about? So Japanese Buddhism is generally categorized as having two tendencies. The Zen tendency is seen as self-power. That it's strong, it's energetic, it's based on our energy and our commitment and our sitting, our posture, our determination, what? Yes, right.

[41:56]

The Pure Land tradition, which is actually out of which Zen tradition arises, both in China and Japan, is generally characterized as underpower. In other words, the fundamental act of Pure Land Buddhism is surrender. is throwing yourself into the house of Buddha, is putting yourself into the hands of Buddha. And it's not even seen, if you go to the Jodo Shinshu temple, which is around the rock, it's not even necessarily seen, their Buddhism is not it's just affirming their reliance on Buddha and to put themselves in Buddha's hands and so this seems to me and also this the relevance of that

[43:12]

is the context in which this classical was presented, which was for lay people, who were probably quite familiar with the Pure Land traditions in Kyoto, because they were the dominant traditions. And so, everybody was likely to have had some exposure to that. And, you know, here, so this is, the more I think about this passport, the greater it is, because, like in this paragraph, he's saying, you don't have to do anything, you just surrender. And then the next paragraph, he's telling you, here's what you can do. You know, it's quite wonderful, he keeps presenting something contradicting it, and then presenting an alternative to fill out the picture.

[44:18]

So I would call this other power as identified by the Pure Land School, and in contrast to Zen, which is self-power, I think that's I'm not, I don't do that. I'm just telling you what it provisionally is broken down. I totally do not believe that. So, good, we agree and I'll just finish my sentence here. Zed, as I've encountered it, has always included surrender and effort. or grasping and grabbing. These are actually Zen formulas. So this reminded me when it said, throw it away, or get it through, or whatever. It didn't sound like other power at all to me. It reminded me of an experience I had.

[45:22]

It might have been 1996 or something when I was practicing with Joko Beck over at Diane Mazzetto's house, and we had sashimis there. We were never stuck on the sashimi, but 20 years later, At the end, we were having a little conversation, an informal conversation, and I said something just like that, but I was coming out of a several-day sashimi, so it actually had more conviction than it does right now. But every time I would think something, every time I would grasp or attach to something, I'd just throw it away. Just throw it away. Just throw it away. That's what this meant to me. I just want to be clear that I'm not, I do not subscribe to that division. And I will tell you what I've used for, because I've thought about this quite a bit and I've studied it. And, you know, it calls in the self-power school.

[46:26]

It's hard. But, how on earth did any of us in this room get in this room? We had to walk here, or drive here, but there's something mysterious beyond our understanding that called us to the practice because we needed it. And it offered something and now it enables us to offer something back. And that, to me, is the interpenetration of self and other, if you will. And actually, D.T. Suzuki, late in his life, wrote a book about these two sides of Japanese Buddhism, you know. I think Japanese Buddhism has a propensity for breaking things down into distinct schools.

[47:32]

Like every practice is a distinct school, whereas if you go over to the Berkeley Buddhist Monastery, which is a half mile away, which is Chan, they practice all the schools, and to them it's just Chan. You know, so they do devotional practice, they do precepts practice, they do Pure Land practice, they do formless meditation. They do all of that in the course of the day. And that is closer to my ideal Buddhism. One more and then let's take a quick break, because there's a koan I want to share with you. I was thinking about it from the perspective, as I often think about it, about societal transformation and this disaster. So it's curious to me, you know, how this relates, say, to the phenomenon of Soka Gakkai in Japan, or Tsuchii, you know, as incredibly huge organizations with a very specific vision and mission to care in some of the hardest places and disaster zones and so on.

[48:51]

And it's so incredibly popular as a path of, I don't know, what is it called, service or practice, that's deeply rooted in lay Buddhist expression, one in Japan and one in China, and how it connects to this teaching. And I say this because of the context. I think I remember that Dogen emphasized that he wasn't that what he was teaching was Buddhism. We can call it Zen now, but he saw it as, well, I don't know how he saw it, but what I've heard is that he saw it as Buddhism. So, it's interesting to me of why, which of these Dharmagates, which of these emphases appeals to the arising of really wanting to create Sanghas that are devoted to, you know, these principles of compassion and that have to do with transforming society and doing that.

[50:00]

It's hard to say. All I can say is today, I got an email from Kodima-san, one of the priests, a Sokyo Zen priest, at the Soto International Center, and they are beginning to take up the work of the Sustainable Development Goals, which used to be called the Millennium Development Goals. You know, it's like they're, as Sotoshu is taking that up. So, you know, there's all kinds of development. Let's take a break, I've got to find something upstairs. The reason we didn't pause No, it's just Japanese tourism. Okay.

[51:02]

Before we move to that last paragraph, I want to read you something I came across from this wonderful book, The Zen Teachings of Homeless Kodo, by Kodo Sawaki, which has commentary by Uchiyama Reiki and commentary by Choako Mura. This first part is from Sawaki Kodo. Once a monk asked Master Momiya, How did the ancient master finally cease doing things and completely settle down? Longya replied, it was like a thief slipping into a vacant house. A burglar breaks into an empty house. You can't steal anything.

[52:06]

There's nothing there. And there's no need to escape, because there's nobody chasing you. It's nothing, understand? It's nothing. Satori is like a birdwood breaking into an empty house. Although he had difficulty getting in, there's nothing to steal. He doesn't need to run. Nobody's after him. The whole thing is a flop. Isn't that great? It pays. is actually case 93 in the Book of Serenity. And it's here's a commentary about it. So the story, show off and we'll do some commentary. Lumya, known in Japan as Ryukei Kotan, was a disciple of

[53:10]

In case 196 of the Book of Serenity, Xi Shuang said, Cease doing, stop the separation between subject and object. Be like one moment is ten thousand years. Be like cold ashes and dead trees. be like a strip of white silk. To be like cold ashes and dead trees is to be without discrimination. To be like a strip of white silk is to be without defilement. The koan continues. After Xishuang's death, his attendant asked the head monk. The head monk was somebody who was aspiring to be the the teacher and become the teacher after Xishuang's death.

[54:18]

His attendant asked the head monk the meaning of the saying. The monk replied, it clarifies the matter of absolute oneness. The attendant did not agree. And then in the story, in the Koan, it says, if that's not true, then how is it that I can light this stick of incense and just die in Zazen? And in fact, that's what he did. He lit the stick of incense, and he sat there, and he died. Who's he in that? The head monk. The head monk. Yeah. The attendant, after he died, the attendant patted his back and said, you don't understand the lay teacher's meaning, even in a dream. So it's pretty hard to disapprove of somebody's death.

[55:29]

Later, a monk asked Longya about the meaning of Qishuang's cease doing. Longya said it's like a crook slipping into a vacant house. This shows that Longya's understanding is very different from the head monk's. He understands ceasing as relinquishing the struggle for gain based on our desire in settling down here and now. For the head monk, ceasing is equivalent to death. I would say, for Lungya, ceasing is equivalent to life. But as Sawaki Ushi and Uchiyan Roshi have said, our zazen is not a negation of life. It's simply stilling ourselves in the here and now without chasing satisfaction.

[56:38]

According to Uchiyama Rochi, this is the attitude of living out our lives by ourselves, without relying on others for any particular talk. The Japanese poet Masaoka Shiki, 1867-1902, died of tuberculosis at 35. In his final days, he suffered unbearable pain caused by spinal decay. He couldn't even shift in his bed. About three months before his death, he wrote an essay for a newspaper. Until now, I have misunderstood Satori and Zen. I mistakenly thought that Satori was to die with peace of mind in any condition. Satori is to live with peace of mind in any condition.

[57:44]

Okura says, I think this is the difference between the understanding of the head monk and monja. In shoguns or shoji, or birth and death, Dogen says, just understand that life and death is itself nirvana, and neither dislike life and death, nor seek after nirvana. Only then will it be possible for us to be released from life and death. This present life and death is the life of the Buddha. I thought this was really beautiful. case 96 in the Book of Serenity. But it's... The one dying kind of reminds me of that merging of principle and still-life enlightenment in a way. It's not just cessation, you know. That's not what we're talking about.

[58:50]

No. I thought that Masaoka Hiki's Misunderstanding of Satori is very powerful. You know, one thinks, oh, I can die. The real difficulty is, can I live? And I think, for those of us who have had encounters with people at that end of existence, we've seen that to be the case. that the real challenge is living until that turning moment, that last breath. And the same thing is true for us. Not just for the person who's dying, but for us as we are with such a person. Can we bear?

[59:51]

How can we bear? I'm just coming back to this thing of pain. It gets very real in my experience. The pain really very strongly in the picture. Because that's the whole movement of palliative care and Western hospitals. It's all the dimensions of pain. is that in order to assure an eternal quality of life as a goal of care, pain needs to be front and center of addressing that. Whatever the person's system or that person's circle of loved ones deems is

[60:55]

most important. So for instance, one of the sort of cultural competencies is around someone who might be Muslim, where it's really important in order to meet Allah at that moment, to be as conscious as possible. And so part of the recognition needs to be that if a person is devout Muslim, and they would state that, They're willing, not wanting, but willing to tolerate greater pain than maybe the medical providers really want to have. Because it's a different standard, because what's most important is that moment of consciousness. So I feel like this is really this question of pain. Because for me, what comes up is bodhichitta needs to be front and center. in my moment of passing, because that's all about relationship with self and other.

[62:02]

And so, what kind of pain would I be willing or able to tolerate in order to place what we cheat on as the most important thing? I don't think we can go until we're there. I mean, it's like I didn't want to... I wouldn't want to propose a a theoretical approach. And really in Buddhism, it's not so different than Islam in that way. But it's like, at a certain point I think it becomes counterproductive. But that's my opinion. I also think on this subject, I feel like part of how it ties into shoji, especially towards the end, is like It's easier to bear the pain when you don't also have to deal with the Dukkha. Like what Dogen is attesting to here is liberation from Dukkha.

[63:05]

That's what he means when he says you're going to be liberated from birth and death. And he talks about how you need to don't analyze it and speak about it, just set aside your body and mind. That's referring to And once you've gotten rid of all the stories you're telling about the pain, then the pain is going to be a little, you know, and it's a much smaller, much smaller, I mean, maybe not much smaller. Maybe. Maybe not. Now we're in life danger. Now we hate it more. Yeah. I agree with him that the lack of focus on the pain as something to get rid of or something that's continuing to happen, that kind of awareness makes it harder. I think my experience is that the underlying principle includes pieces of all of this, but the underlying principle is, who am I? What is my life about? What's the essence of my life?

[64:07]

And how do I move this moment from that place? And then you weigh in, all of these considerations are considered, you're writing what the response is. Helping the person, helping ourselves come back into the essence of what our life is about. And we need a moment in that place. I want to read the last paragraph because we have about 15 minutes left. There's a simple way to become a Buddha. When you refrain from unwholesome actions, are not attached to birth and death, and are compassionate towards all sentient beings, respectful to seniors, and kind to juniors, not excluding or desiring anything. With no designing thoughts or worries, you will be called of the rest. Do not seek anything else. Such a lovely passage.

[65:08]

And it puts it, throws it back into From throwing yourself into the house of Buddha, this throws it back into the territory of your activities. How will you live? Karma. So long as you're alive. Karma is... Yeah. All of this is... Karma is the implication of all of this. Yeah, I like what you said about how he, I mean, I remember feeling, even though I really like this basketball and I was happy, it also seems kind of like a dishmash, but like what I like is the way you're saying it's like he keeps going in one direction and then he balances out in the other instead of, it kind of felt like to me like he's pulling things out from all over, you know, just kind of dishmashing them off together.

[66:18]

Yeah, the idea that throw yourself in the middle and put a Buddha, but that doesn't mean that you don't have respect for your juniors or something. Right. Like that doesn't mean do whatever you want, you know. No, I mean if we think of... Or do whatever. If we think of, uh, there are other fascicles of, of, uh, Dogon, uh, form-raising. Dharma's eight, uh, what is it? The eight, uh, Awareness of Bodhisattva, the 37 Wings of Enlightenment. Is that right? I think that may be the last fascicle. It's like in all of these he's emphasizing actually what we do. That there is a practical side that shapes our life and our impact on the world. And we can't ignore that.

[67:24]

But I do think, you know, as I, as we investigate this, I feel like I'm seeing a structure that I haven't previously seen. Yeah, I know. The other ones seem much more carefully constructed than this one. I didn't, I wasn't getting that. Other festivals just seem to kind of roll out and be very carefully laid out. Yeah. Hannah? Well, I'm thinking about our friend who died not so long ago and didn't want a hospital bed. Do you remember? He did not want a hospital bed. Dead? I'm assuming dead. Pardon me? Dead? Yeah. He didn't want a hospital bed? He did not want a hospital bed, but he realized But his caregivers were disadvantaged in their own body comfort by having to turn him in a regular bed, and so he got a hospital bed, which is really nice.

[68:35]

But the idea that he states one thing and kind of negates it, those last paragraphs, one of these says, throw your body into the house of Buddha, and all is done by Buddha. And then you attempt to become a Buddha. And then how do you become a Buddha? You have to do these things. The way you throw yourself into the house of Buddha is you have to do it yourself. And they're both true. Another angle on that is when I see that paragraph that says, there's a simple way to become a Buddha, and then all those things get listed, and I think, yeah, right. The next one is, yeah, right. And the way to do that is to throw yourself into that. I mean, really, they may just intersect like your fingers. is the implication that you can become a buddha and in order to do that you really have to pay attention to how you are acting in the world and by paying attention to how you are acting in the world you will activate your buddha nature you will activate your bodhichitta

[70:16]

I feel like your question helped me to connect with it. That question and then the reinterpretation of it is the same question. You just said, how do we live? To me, that question answers all of that and then helps me to understand that last paragraph as well. Because we live in a society that forgets about our symptoms and don't really take care of our children. And this is old. But this was written a long time ago, but it don't really matter, because if we're not living our lives by honoring our elders and taking care of our babies, then who knows what's next? And we can't really collectively point fingers to do that. We all just have to do it one by one in our own lives. So to me, that's the heart of my practice, just the simple thing. I feel, you know, it comes up when you're saying this, I just feel incredibly grateful for all the dysfunction of my family of origins that it was a feeling that that elders

[71:43]

acknowledged and respected the personhood of the children and granted their capacity and intelligence and their willingness of having opinions and views and that enabled us to respect them. There was a reciprocity there that was really It was and was not special. It was ordinary within that setting. But I am so grateful because we see lots of settings in which parents and children do not reciprocally have that transactional respect. Where do you want to find that? not excluding or desiring anything.

[72:57]

And I think that's really, that's so much at the heart of Suzuki Roshi's teachings. You know, including everything, acknowledging everything that comes our way without especially desiring it or pushing our way, but really including it in our lives. I think that's really what we learn indirectly from Suzuki Roshi and I think that's what we learn pretty directly from Soji Roshi and it sets a really high standard for all of us. So, next week we get into Zenki.

[74:04]

Let's close with the Bodhisattva's house.

[74:08]

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