Yesterday, I mentioned that we are living in the ultimate extent. Where there is no way out of it, where no helping hand can be reached. Taking a couple of examples. At least, in Buddhism, if you seek for the relaxation and assurance of your existence,

[01:23]

simply speaking, a peaceful mind, you have to find it in the domain of ultimate extent. That there is no way out of it, where nobody can reach, no matter what kind of helping hand you use. In this domain, when you are confronted with this ultimate extent, ultimate fact, in life,

[02:32]

there is a very crucial point, how we should behave. If our practice has some purpose, which we are expecting, the purpose of our practice is to find a little security when you are absolutely confronted with the ultimate fact that nobody can help you. So far, I explained the anjin in Japanese, which means a little security, assurance or

[03:57]

relaxation of our existence. The anjin doesn't mean that you merely feel comfortable by sitting on a chair which you made by yourself. The anjin, a little security, is not to feel comfortable without any suffering, sadness, joys and sorrows. In the big world, where there are many things, suffering, pleasure, joys, sorrows, we have

[05:20]

to find a little security, how to do, how to behave. We have to find a peaceful mind. From this point, the letter an of anjin is peaceful patience, an-nin in Japanese, peaceful patience. According to Buddhist ideas, as mentioned so far, it is called anupatika dhamma prasanthi. Today, in Gakudo Yojinshu written by Dogen,

[06:22]

he mentioned how to practice, why we need to practice. In Gakudo Yojinshu, a chapter is devoted to the explanation of the need for training to attain the Buddhist way, Buddha's way. Those who study the way must first know whether the way they face is right or wrong. Shakyamuni, who subdued himself, sat under the Bodhi tree and saw the morning star.

[07:30]

He suddenly became enlightened in the way of the highest vehicle. His enlightened way cannot be equaled by the Shravaka and Pratikabuddha. The Buddha enlightened himself and transmitted his enlightenment to other Buddhas and patriarchs. Even today, the transmission has not been disrupted. How can those who are enlightened help from being the Buddha? To face the way is to know the basic source of Buddhism. It is to clarify the approach to Buddhism. Buddhism is under the foot of every man.

[08:35]

If you penetrate the way, you will find Buddhism at that place. If you penetrate enlightenment, you perfect yourself. But if you take pride in your enlightenment, doesn't it still fall within half-known enlightenment? This is the tenor of facing the way. Those who study the way do not understand whether the way is open or closed. They strongly desire to see miracles. Who of these is not mistaken? They are like those who forsake the father and escape, and those who forsake the treasure and wander.

[09:41]

Though the only son of a wealthy father, he becomes a beggar who seeks for things outside. This is a true picture. To study the way is to try penetrating the way. To penetrate the way is to forget even the trace of enlightenment. Those who train themselves in Buddhism must first believe in Buddhism. To believe in Buddhism means to believe that one is inherently within the way, and is not lost, eroded, and upside down, and that there is no increase or decrease, and no mistake.

[10:44]

Train yourself by arousing such belief and qualifying the way. This is the ground for studying Buddhism. It is the method of cutting off the function of consciousness and facing away from the road of knowledge. This is how to guide Navityas. After that, we free ourselves from the dualism of body and mind, and forsake the dualism of illusion and enlightenment. This is the second method. Those who believe that they are within Buddhism are quite rare. If you truly believe that you are within the way, you can naturally understand the opening and closing of the great way.

[11:53]

You can understand the root of delusion and enlightenment. Try to cut off the function of consciousness. If you do this, you can suddenly almost see the way. The most important point is to believe in Buddhism means to believe that one is inherently within the way, and is not lost, eroded, or upside down, and that there is no increase or decrease, and no mistake. This is a very important point which I will want to explain. And related with the talk so far, related with the subject that I have spoken so far,

[13:06]

to believe in Buddhism means to believe that one is inherently within the way, and is not lost, eroded, or upside down, and that there is no increase or decrease, and no mistake. In this case, the way is, simply speaking, the Buddha's way. Plainly speaking, it is a way of human life. Or more plainly speaking, this way is the ultimate fact in life. From where the all-being all proceeds, from where the suffering, pleasure, amusement, joy, sorrow, proceed.

[14:27]

This is the ultimate fact, this is the way, which is called Buddha's way. So from this point, the universe exists already in the ultimate fact, where you cannot escape from it, you cannot get out of it, and also nobody can help you. You have to have standard, you have to have to stand up by yourself, by your foot. If you fall down on the ground, you have to stand up by yourself. I think life is the continuity of,

[15:43]

what would you say, ultimate fact, continuity of ultimate fact. For instance, as mentioned yesterday, yesterday, I shot to my master's arm with the intention of venous injection. But unfortunately, I took, I took artery for vein. As soon as when I shot, when I gave the venous injection into his arm,

[17:04]

blood came out, and sudden burst. I was really upset, but my master was very calm. Oh, oh, it's wrong place, he shot. He didn't shout out, he didn't say out, just he said very calmly, oh it's wrong place. Even though he, my master shot out crying, pain is pain, pain is always in his arm. But to say what he accepted without saying anything, just it's wrong place.

[18:12]

It's to say what my master accepted, I think, something more than pain, conceptual pain, conceptual pain. So Buddhism says maybe this pain, this is painless pain, painless pain. Sometimes you use the word voiceless voice, or mind with no mind, mindless mind. If you shout, if you say out, if you burst out crying, out, out, out, going around your room, it is really conceptual pain, because your pain, the pain already advances in your thought.

[19:25]

Right after when you shout, when you cry, when you burst out crying, when you burst out saying out, but actually it's too late, you know, pain is already here. So no matter how you shout, you cry, pain is pain, pain doesn't, crying, shouting doesn't get rid of, doesn't make your pain keep away. So I think this case master accepted painless pain, then just look at the blood which was coming out in sudden burst.

[20:32]

But in our day, there are many people who are too kind, kind too much, because there are many choices. If you cry, if you cry, doctor give lots of things, candy, various kind of candy. Without any patience, without tasting, without tasting what pain is. But I don't mean, I don't mean that I want to refuse medical treatment in our day, you need. But whatever kind of treatment you receive, important point is that you have to get taste of what pain is.

[21:49]

For this, sometimes you must be patient, you must just accept. At least during crying, there is vivid fact that you have to accept, you have to accept pain itself. And then also this is, the painless pain is something that nobody can help, no helping hand can be reached. Even though I gave kindest sympathetic word to you, I'm sorry, you know. Utterance, sympathetic feeling, don't make you feel so good, you know.

[23:12]

Now last, what you have to do, what should you do? You have to, all you have to do is just to accept it, with silence, that's all. Uh, the... You know the, while in my temple to help my master, day in and day out I practiced Chinese character. I practiced calligraphy by myself without any teacher. Uh, so now, thanks to my practice, now I can write, can write some calligraphy with brush.

[24:43]

If you see it, now all of you think your calligraphy is very beautiful. But if I see it by myself, I don't think it is beautiful because I can't feel, I feel something from my calligraphy. I can't feel something more than calligraphy, more than calligraphy. I can, I can learn, you know the, my life, which I have been or I had been or I will. Uh, uh, the one of my friend, uh, became the priest 23 or 24 years old.

[26:02]

His master's master was very strict, very strict. If my friend shouldn't answer, shouldn't take answer yes when he was asked by, he was called by his master's master. This master throw, throw, throw him into the, into the pond in the winter. Wow, terrible, you know. Before throwing him into the pond, this master gave a throw several times with the kyo-saku stick.

[27:05]

And throw him away. So, my friend, so my friend has been very good at taking a good, taking an answer yes, you know, when he was asked by someone, when he was called by someone. His name was, his name is Rev. Yukoi. I call him, Yukoi. He said, yes, hai, to me. Very quickly, immediately. And at the same time, he bowed, you know, he bowed, yes. Even up to now, you know, he is, he is a great, one of Buddhist scholar at Komodo University.

[28:07]

And the student asked, asked him, Yukoi, Yukoi sensei, you know, Yukoi sensei said, yes. As soon as when he take answer yes, already his head is hanging down, like this. Sometimes I ask him, why do you, why do you make a bow? Right after the answer, answering yes. Because you are teacher, you know. It's not necessary to bow to the student. How about this? How about this?

[29:13]

When I was in Sokoji Temple, next to the Sokoji Temple, there is a company, there is a company of transformation? A transportation company. Every morning, I said, I said, good morning. He said, good morning, but he didn't bow, you know. He said, good morning. Good morning. Very funny for Japanese, you know. Particularly for me, it's very funny. For me, I have been, I have been at my temple with my master, you know.

[30:22]

I never, I have never done that way, you know. When I say good morning, good morning like this, you know. But this guy, good morning. That's funny. But this is, I think, usual way for American people. Yeah. But... You know, even though I ask again and again, why do you make a bow toward anybody? You know, he can't, he can't take answer, he can't, he can't answer to this question, you know.

[31:28]

Because his life impels him, impels him to take answer yes immediately and at the same time to make a bow, you know. There is no reason why. Just do it. I can't help it. I can't help. Sometimes I wanted to hold his head like this before he make a bow. But when I was aware of this fact, he already bowed. So... So... We have accumulated a lot of things through our experience.

[32:39]

After your birth or before your birth. Since before your birth. You know, if you reflect upon yourself strictly, you know, sometimes some of you may realize very awful karma. Which has been handed down from generation to generation anyway. Even though you don't like... The moment when you are born in this world, you have already, you know, something.

[33:44]

Even though you don't like, you can get rid of it. Then until the death, you have to carry it. Not only until the death. Life after life, you have to carry it on your back. Then between the birth and death, you are always struggling, looking at your karma. Help, help. But nobody helps you. I'm sorry, but I can't help. This is the truth. Then at that time, the important point is what to do, how to behave. How to behave. The place where nobody helps you, no helping hand can be reached.

[34:48]

It's not merely always bad things, bad place. Now all things exist in this ultimate extent. The sun, the moon, the mountain, the river, the bird. Everything exists in that way. When you reflect only yourself, I think you can look at the bad things, bad side of your life. But in the ultimate extent in life, nobody helps you, no helping hand can be reached.

[36:00]

There is, you know, there is, there exists the, just only something which you cannot give some name, you know. This is pain or enjoyment or amusement or something like that. The conception of pain, when you say out, at that time this pain is something which advances in thought already. But before the pain is, pain is anywhere in your brain. What could you call this? What could you call this? Pain or enjoyment?

[37:09]

No, I don't think so. No name. That's why you say you have to accept no name. If you can say something, if you may say something, I think even this pain is just aggregation of many things. In caption, you know, my master's arm, you know, vein, and my master's disciple. And the aggregation of many things and just something happens.

[38:12]

This is completely no name. You can't give a certain name to it. That's why in the pulsating fact, in the pulsating fact of your life, how to accept this? How do you accept? How can you deal with this? Before pain, before pain is in the consciousness, in the consciousness. Just accept it, you know, regardless of the idea whether you like, dislike. This is real truth, you know.

[39:17]

The other day, one month, one week ago, I think I experienced, I think, what would you say, a western dance. Western dance, what would you call this? Hippie dance or what? I enjoyed very much this hippie dance. I have never experienced, you know, dancing according to the western music. I just tune up, just tune up. The stream of the rhythm of music. That's very interesting, you know. On the other hand, I thought, oh, yeah, this is, I think this is a sort of amusement for me.

[40:44]

On the other hand, I thought, oh, sort of something, it's sort of, you know, bubble. Just bubble. Continuation of bubble. Bubble. I asked by myself, what is the point, why do you enjoy? What is, what do you think, what do you think about hippie dance? I can't, I can't answer to this question. I just tune up. And enjoy, but this enjoyment is like a bubble, that's all.

[41:51]

What is enjoy, what is amusement? When I tune up, when I tune up the rhythm of the music, there is some amusement, sort of amusement. Before, I tune up, you know, the rhythm of the music, stream of the rhythm, musical rhythm. What could you call this, amusement, sadness or exhaustion? I can't call, there is no word. It's pretty difficult to explain it. If there were Japanese, I think they would send me to the Napa hospital.

[43:05]

Katagi was, Katagi became crazy. Anyway, so anyway, whenever you experience amusement, sadness, we have to, we have to receive, we have to receive amusement or sadness before those conception is in your conscious. At that time, the best way and the only way for you to do something,

[44:22]

is to experience a willing acceptance, willing acceptance, a wholehearted acceptance. Wholehearted acceptance or a willing acceptance is Buddhist patience, a peaceful patience. Concretely speaking, you have to be a soft mind, as if you were a bamboo. You have to curve in order to accept a painless pain, amusement. Even though you don't understand painless pain,

[45:38]

you have to, your mind must be flexible enough to accept painless pain. In other words, your mind must be curved in maximum in order to accept pain. Even though I shat, I shat into your artery, instead of veins, instead of veins. Of course, I can understand you feel pain, ouch, you want to shout, ouch.

[46:42]

But nevertheless, you find, you find painless pain. You find the, I think, flexibility, you find the mind of flexibility in maximum. So, as Dogen Zen says, to believe in Buddhism means to believe that one is inherently within the way, and is not lost, deluded, or upside down. Katagiri is Katagiri. No matter how I study Buddhism, no matter how I practice Buddhism,

[47:46]

Zazen, Katagiri is Katagiri, forever. It's not necessary to be upside down, to be upset. But Katagiri, the conception, when the conception of Katagiri is in my conscious, I have to upset. Wow, terrible, please help me. But this real Katagiri is living in the ultimate fact that no helping hand can be reached. Can you help me? You cannot. I want to help you, I want some help, but even though you cannot help me.

[48:49]

You know, if you, for instance, if you think of poor English, Katagiri is poor English, so someday you ask me, I want to have an English lesson for you. I said, oh yes, thank you very much. But I am not a child, high school student, or junior high school student. I am already a very old man. So old man, the brain of old man is very stiff, not flexible. So anyway, I answer, thank you, to your asking, to your question, thank you very much. Then I accept your lesson. But, unfortunately, she is safe. I study Buddhism, I practice Zazen, Katagiri is always Katagiri.

[49:59]

But as mentioned before, when the conception of Katagiri is in my conscious, sometimes, oh, how wonderful Katagiri is. I think by myself, oh, you are great. Sometimes, oh, poor boy. Sometimes despair, I want to go back to Japan. Sometimes I want to use Japanese instead of English. To believe in Buddhism means to believe that one is inherently within the way, and is not lost, deluded, or upside down, and that there is no increase or decrease, and no mistake.

[51:03]

Don't worry about your life. This is Anjin, this is religious security. Whatever kind of difficulty you are comforted with. And also, I want to tell you the important point. What is religious security? If I say religious security, first subject for religious security, you think, oh, there is, I want to find, I want to look for religious security. Where is religious security? Where is peaceful mind? Nothing. If you look for, if you strive for finding, where is religious security, where is Anjin?

[52:05]

Nothing. No Anjin, no religious security. If we say that there is something, it is very quiet things, very quiet things. No shouting. Nothing. Even no silence. Very quiet things. And also, no shape, no form. And also, it is always shining over you. It is not Buddha. It is not God. What you have thought. Always, this religious security is giving the light to your life. Without saying anything.

[53:09]

With silence. Silence. Whatever kind of difficulty you are confronted with. Seemingly, even Zen master, even Zen master when, when even Zen master face difficult things, he said, what shall I do? Maybe he is a little upset. This upset is a little different from your upset. But anyway, upset is upset. But I always mention, you know, your upset is always like this. Forever. So long.

[54:10]

Upset. But maybe the most enlightened person's upset is very quick. His upset, he can't stop swaying his own upset. Very quick. Like this. Your upset is always like this. That's trouble. But upset is upset. The same thing. So Zen master is not superman. Seemingly, even though whatever kind of difficulty you have, you face, there is something more than the difficulties.

[55:15]

More than the upset. It is, I think, something which enables you giving very refreshing light to your life. You cannot tell what it is. You cannot explain what it is. But you can express it. You can find it. You can realize. This is, sometimes it is called Zen-gyo. Zen tranquility. Sometimes Buddha nature. Sometimes Buddha. Sometimes it is called self-nature.

[56:24]

Sometimes it is called awareness. Self-awareness. Plainly speaking, it is called stillness. Impotent nature. You can't explain what impotence is in words. But in Buddhism, impotence or Buddha nature or the willing acceptance or the patience is not the positive and negative meaning. From this, even the avoiding acceptance or the anti-religious security

[57:29]

is something like quiet, stillness, with giving the constantly refreshing light to your life. Behind your life, somewhere anyway, or within your life, behind the puppet show of states, you know. Religious security is, even though religious security is something like that, it is not the negative meaning. It is a very positive power.

[58:34]

It has very positive powers. As if the water, the water which is filled in the river, because of heavy rain, destroyed the very strong bank and came out in a sudden burst. This is the power of patience. Patience is not a negative attitude in life. At least in Buddhism, patience has very positive meaning. Like this water. So if you find this religious security,

[59:37]

which is giving the very tranquil illumination, anywhere within your life is providing you with new life, moment after moment. This is religious life, religious security. So, as Togenden says, if you want to believe something, you have to believe this point. To believe in Buddhism means to believe that one is inherently with the ultimate fact.

[60:40]

Where nothing can help, nothing can be helped. Nobody helps you. And is now lost, deluded, or upside down, that there is no increase or decrease, no mistake. And also, nevertheless, on this base, you have to make every possible effort. This is important. Don't make every possible effort on the basis of your own level. At that time, for instance, if you want to help someone, you have to understand what help is.

[61:48]

You have to first of all understand that completely you cannot help anyone. And then try to make every possible effort to help with each other. At that time, this is real help. Okay? Thank you.

[62:17]

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