Okay, what should we talk about? Oh, yes, that's right. First I'm going to speak about what we spoke in the group about. of how we practice. So there were two basic different varieties of how to practice. One is to practice with the background and foreground and the other one is practicing with breathing. So what's actually residing there?

[01:06]

Do we have a filter through which we live our lives? Just like this morning he said was famous and happiness and stuff like, what are the filters? And my filter about which I thought about today is kind of well-being, feeling well. So for myself and for other people who I work with. Then we came to the conclusion that this background spirit is often not conscious, but also empty and still there.

[02:20]

Empty? Not empty, but not really conscious. What's going on there now? The story of well-being is not always there, not always consciously there, but simply as a background noise or background rhythm. So that this background mind is not always conscious or present to yourself. What's going on back there, you know, this idea of well-being or whatever, what's going on there? The other thing and maybe my more natural thing of practice is the breathing practice. And when I forget about it, then I notice I don't feel well. Now there was an attempt to link both of those.

[03:33]

Okay, so an example is I am supposed to write an article since a half a year and I just don't get to writing it because I think if I was able to breathe this text to breathe the knowledge I could just write it down. But this is extremely difficult for me. In the end we got to the point where we said true practice is where we have forgotten all concepts. and thus the directions are no longer present.

[04:39]

And then there is also the direction of it is no longer present. And then I go into resistance because there must be a direction, otherwise we couldn't be doing this, what we are doing here. We couldn't build it in, what we're doing here. Here, this place? Here, yes, for example. Okay, finished. Okay, thanks. Thank you. Yes. I was in this group. And I'm in that group. And I would like to say something about the background, because it was a bit complicated. I'd like to say something more to this background mind because it was a kind of more ambiguous.

[05:42]

And there was this concept that came to an end that this background mind consists of It consists of the concepts that we come from through education, through experience and so on, and also the precepts, motivations and intentions. and I think I felt that there was a second concept to which I might count myself more, that all this does indeed have an effect on the background spirit, e.g. vows or intentions. that this kind of sort of functions through this background mind like precepts and intentions.

[06:56]

But the background mind cannot be the sum of previous experiences and concepts. And I define this background mind for myself as this Zazen quality or mind that comes into everyday life. and which enlarges or extends the everyday mind. And because it was also part to speak about our ingredients which we put into our own practice.

[08:11]

I find it incredibly valuable what I've heard in Tayshos yesterday and today about breathing. because I'm trying to get into this front, this background mind, to get into the day-to-day by trying to be breathable when I come to it. Because I'm really working on this front or this threshold to bring this background mind into my everyday life through the breathing practice whenever I have an opportunity for that. Which is just by the way rather difficult. I thought of something of the second question from yesterday that wasn't discussed any more. When do you perceive something like those billboards? For me, this is like sitting in zazen.

[09:32]

Then thoughts and sense impressions come, which would be the billboards. And between it is the intersection between those billboards. And this is in very close relationship to that what we discussed, I think, as background mind. Okay, yeah. Thank you. Yes? It was in the same group. Was it the other group for partying? Yes. Go ahead. I would like to say something about the rally.

[10:36]

Hans spoke very nicely about how he organises the spirit of the background at home. And in that context he mentioned what for him, as I understood it, was a very visual motive for development, the feeling And then he said that as a developmental motif the separation was for him very helpful. The feeling of separation was a developmental motif for him.

[11:37]

Separation between what and what? I can't tell you that now, it was just a topic. The separation from life, the feeling of being a kind of satellite without any connection in life. Oh, okay. And we are sitting next to each other in the seminar and it didn't surprise me that much. This has touched me because this topic is certainly of a different quality for me, but the topic of separation is also a very central topic in my life. So this, we sit beside each other in the Zen Dome, it didn't surprise me that much. But also, I was so touched by it because this theme of separation is very central to my life. And this can be articulated in my case, for example, that I always have great contradictions, also here in the Sangha,

[12:48]

It can articulate itself that I have big resistance, also resistance even here in the Sangha. Resistance to what? Resistance against the path. Oh, the practice, the bath, yeah, everything. You seem to be doing it quite a lot, though. You must enjoy resistance. Anyway, please. For me it was because of this encounter here in the winter branches and now here in these groups, especially triggered by this dialogue today, or by this small group today, that Sangha had something very vital. So this meeting here in the winter branches and meeting in the afternoons, but in particularly triggered through this meeting and this little group this afternoon, the feeling of Sangha became something very central.

[14:06]

Okay. Okay. Yes. We spoke about very fundamental ingredients about practice, zazen, as a practice, the teacher, and the sangha, the German sangha. In effect. These are the basic ingredients. And another thing that is related to this, with the teacher and Sanma, is learning from each other in the presence. Another aspect to the Buddha and the Sangha is the learning from each other through a presence.

[15:23]

I think that's very important. Practicing with a teacher and a group, that's the thing that keeps you with it. Also that you shouldn't have too many concepts or ideas about practice, and I will add, because I was in the group, what you think practice should be. Okay. And for that the Sangha is also very good.

[16:33]

Because it shows you what practice shouldn't be. I mean occasionally. Thank you. In our group In our group we mentioned similar aspects. But what kind of came out more was this question, where is the shift between normal life and a life with practice?

[17:35]

What happened at that moment? and what I noticed in discussion was what was an important aspect, to experience another human being for whom practice works or who makes practice work. Almost everyone had some kind of experience in a kind of encounter with somebody that triggered us. So that, I would say, was one of the main ingredients for practice.

[18:40]

Yeah, that's good. One question sort of remained open or we didn't finish discussing it. Where is this place of emotions in practice? Are they ingredients or aren't they ingredients? That was the question. So I want this to remain as a question to you. Oh, you'd like me to respond at some point? If you want. It was just an open question. Well, okay. Someone else?

[19:41]

Yes. What became clear to me today, before, again and again... It became clear for me today, but before it came up before too. I did not grow up in an environment where the world was explained to me in a convincing and understandable way. I grew up in a context where the world was never in a satisfying way or understandable way expressed to me or explained to me. I made excursions in various directions, politics and so on. I experience what you teach or what I learn about literature, for me, on a theoretical level, next to others, on a theoretical level, so far for me as the most convincing model, where I think, yes, I also feel what I am reading, and I can understand it for myself.

[21:02]

So this is what I hear from your teaching and what I can find in the literature. On a theoretical level, this is the most convincing model I've come across and it's something that I can also feel that it's like that. So something, I think, that I have been looking for over large parts of my life and I just have this in my head that I can still use it and but also really this understanding, being able to relive what sounds a bit melty to me now, something like a So I have a head and I can make use of it, but this, that is something that you can feel, and this might really sound a bit small, see, but I really found a location or something like a home or base to reside.

[22:09]

Yeah, thank you. Yes, Crystal. I was in a group with David. For me, the essential is said and I want to say something else. It becomes more and more central to me For me it gets more and more central that things for me are about the breathing. And your last three teshas are very, very important and I'm very happy about them. and for me in the practice it is about coming with the breath from the background mind into the foreground mind

[23:25]

And I'm very inspired at the moment through us all and I feel like we're really incubating this koan very well together. So that parts can really unfold from it. that there is this sentence that the Honourable Prajnatara only mentions the head and the tail, but that the in-between is quietly included. And so this phrase comes to me that the Honorable Prajnathara only mentions the head and the tail and the middle part is in silence included.

[24:53]

The middle part is what we're doing. She is going to say what she wants to say. Yes, and as I understand it it is about the skandhas and the ayatanas and so on, and what I find so beautiful is that they are embedded in the breath. And what I find so nice now is that all these ayatanas and skandhas and so on are embedded in the breathing. And also that the understanding grows And that the understanding grows that not only the breath is read, but that everything is being read. and the whole world is the student's eye.

[25:57]

And that is so fine, because it simply changes for me to practice again, to do it now with these scrolls. And this is so beautiful to me because this changes everything now to do all this with the scrolls of scriptures. So it was very beautiful in Oryoki. I noticed that there are areas in the mouth where things taste differently. That's something, of course, everybody knows. That this is sort of like a part of this reading, how this changes practice.

[27:00]

And that's an aspect for me in koan work is that something's changed. Okay, thank you. Yes. So, in our group came up many, many points about practicing and what are the ingredients of practice, and might be an important that in the daily life we are practicing handle stress and dance situations, confusing situations, and bringing the teaching in our daily life. So, and with the breathing, with the breathing, I think that it is finding life.

[28:13]

So in our group it was about living in an intense and stressful situation and bringing the practice into it and bringing it into it with the breath? Even further. and many other points. For example, practicing the non-comfort on the sessions. Another expression from very old times, a Japanese expression, practicing mushotoku, especially helps this behavior, the mushotoku manner behavior, the mushotoku state of mind,

[29:24]

So, the Musho-toku behavior, Musho-toku state of mind, we asked him what it means, it means for our language, no gaining ideas. No gaining. Okay, we call the thing that he calls, one should not have winning thoughts, one should not strive for anything. You can use... You're ahead of where he is in English. No, because we didn't know what mushotoku is, right? So we asked him what it is. Now I know what it is, a little bit. I said it's for our language. It's no gaining ideas. No gaining, no grasping, no... without hidden thoughts. And this state of mind or manner or behavior helps a lot to answer the question from yesterday, how to experience the unique.

[30:52]

This Musho-toku behavior or discipline or approach helps a lot to recognize the uniqueness in things, as it was discussed yesterday. In addition to practicing the non-comfort came up practicing Kyōsaku. during the session in Zazen. So it is a kind of hard practice, but it doesn't hurt. You know, everybody knows that Yosaku practice is very old, old method. And in a proper way, it helps a lot. So you were practicing also before I have heard.

[31:59]

And that is also a kind of weak hand. So it belongs to the non-conform. That's a two-word. A different aspect. The nail is... Kiyosaki was the stick. It's the gentlest description of sashin I've ever heard. A practice of non-comfort. If we have mentioned Kyosa Kuk, also from other direction came up that we are practicing with trust. What's that?

[33:07]

Trust. Trust, yeah. Yeah. Always, always, and everything we are practicing, getting the teaching, getting the Sangha, with trust. And with intimacy. and with intimacy, but with closeness. Another big help to practice the non-comfort is being playful. And at the end, on my reportage, came the safety feeling of having many bars of chocolates.

[34:31]

You were in the session. You were in the session. What is the main point of the chocolate syndrome? It's a safe place. But don't hide them under your cushion where they'll melt. I think we have to change how we describe Sechines. A playful non-comfort.

[35:35]

With a little footnote, chocolate allowed. It's well hidden, we are. Thank you very much for your reportage. Okay. Any other reportage here or discussion? Gibt es noch Reportagen und Diskussionen? I want to add two more aspects to our group and I'm in the same as the first group. Sort of as a background to this question, was this question of Suzuki Roshi's my innermost request?

[37:02]

And to turn this into sort of a guideline to how and what one practices. And this image that the various ingredients to practice could be watered like seeds. and then correspondingly others then don't get water. And then for me the question is when do these practices work best? And an answer in the group was That in the end we forget the practices and the seeds and all this and then we're free from concepts.

[38:18]

Like being free from any concept. From all concepts. To be free from all concepts is a concept. There comes, of course, to what you said today. That is, so to speak, the yogic experience, the yogic body, where that works and where we perceive it. So then what he said today, that this is then the yogic body where this is being experienced. I think you said the sentence concerning this, let the practice do the practice.

[39:27]

He said that. No, you. I said that. I don't think I said either of these things, but that's all right. I don't think I said either of these things, but that's all right. Yes, let the practice do the practice. I should have said that if I didn't. I should have said that the practice should do itself. Yes, Myokhin Roshi. It's a very famous phrase of Kodosawaki that led Zazen to Zazen. It's a very famous phrase of Kodosawaki that led Zazen to Zazen. Sovaki Roshi. Sovaki Roshi. Sovaki Roshi. Kudo Sovaki Roshi. Not Sovaki, Sovaki. It's all right. Sovaki. The statement is that Zazen should do it himself. Okay. Where are you headed? Um, someone else before I say, I don't know, a couple of things.

[40:41]

I think the idea of, um, practices being, um, made up of ingredients is, uh, Very important to nurture. And then your resistance to the path is also an ingredient of practice. As you don't want to view the practice as a path you're on, you want to view practice as a path you are. So you can't be off the path. You are the path. But is everyone on the path or is everyone the path? What's the difference?

[42:06]

It's not about how far you are along the path or something like that. But if you just happen to view everything you are as ingredients, then you're on the path. Then you are the path. To view whatever happens, you are, think, do, etc., as ingredients is a basic fundamental Buddhist view, viewpoint, insight. That everything you do, think, do, etc., to feel that everything that happens, that you perceive, that you think, is an ingredient, is from our point of view an insight of Buddhism,

[43:16]

and a fundamental viewpoint of Buddhism. So if you feel that whatever is, is an ingredient, you can leave all the ingredients as they are. That's also being the path. Now, one kind of ingredient that I didn't mention today are, well, we could say body points. So when you're practicing like with each hail, inhale, exhale. It helps to maintain two or three or several body points.

[44:33]

One is the roof of your mouth and your tongue at the roof of the mouth, which is a basic part of the posture of Zazen. But if you get used to it, whatever you do, you can have it talking, like right now. I'm aware of my tongue moving around this point. And there's a... It feels like the home base of the tongue, even when it's not there, is the roof of the mouth.

[45:45]

To bring awareness to a body point like that is very helpful in also bringing attention to the breath. Another body point is of course the hara and to have a feeling of intermittent and if possible pretty much continuous awareness of the hara. One of the very first Zazen instructions Sukhirishi gave me was to keep my mind in my heart. I had quite a hard time with what he was, you know, this was the very beginning.

[46:58]

I had no skills in thinking about consciousness, attention, mind, etc. So I didn't know what to do. I tried various things. Like I created an image of the brain and I put it in my hands. Like it was a big walnut. I mean, I was really quite primitive. I didn't know what to do. That's another body point. Another one is your spine, sort of between your wings or someplace in there you can feel where you lift from.

[48:01]

Another body point is how the breath feels when it inhales and sort of rubs along the spine, the upper spine. And how the exhale rubs along the front of your inner chest. So these body points, if you start being aware of them and then more and more you're sort of aware of them, they influence how you're standing. And like all these body practices, Including the, you know, I've spoken about in the past a number of times.

[49:13]

How to bring attention into your body and then explore your organs, your lungs, your kidneys and so forth. The more you do that and you're familiar with it, there almost comes a kind of inner clarity or luminosity in the body. And it helps as much as chocolate during sashimi. Because if you can bring attention throughout your body, you can sort of see what hurts and what doesn't hurt and leave the hurt alone. When you don't have an overall inner experience of the body, You know, it gets so that you don't feel the inside and outside of the body.

[50:39]

This is before you don't have a general feeling? Or later it gets to that point? After a while, it gets so you don't feel you're an insider outside of the body. I mean, attention can be on my elbow. And attention can also be inside the joint. And one doesn't feel inside or outside. It's just two different locations of attention. It definitely helps dealing with discomfort, non-comfort during Sashin. But it also makes you feel the body from the inside of other people.

[52:00]

Because if you get familiar with it, you feel it, the lungs and stomach and muscles of the other person's body you're next to. I wouldn't say everyone gets perfect at it. I'm not perfect at it. But in that direction, beginning to be, and over years of doing this practice, it gets pretty familiar after a while. You just don't have an inside-outside feeling anymore. And when you don't have that kind of sense of attention or awareness penetrating the body, Then if something hurts, it just floods the system and your brain says, hey, this is terrible, you've got to stop it.

[53:25]

But after a while it doesn't flood the system, it's just part of the system. And you can often find the muscle that hurts and then relax it. Now, that's a similar thing with being aware of body points. Because if you feel a body point in the middle of the chest or roof of the mouth. It makes you feel other people, like you see people's eyes and their ears and things. You feel these body points somehow. It makes you feel very intimate and close to other people.

[54:41]

It's maybe like it's not the intimacy of a lover, it's more the intimacy of a parent for a child or something. Feel the child as part of your body. Not the intimacy between lovers, but more between parents and children. This is all part of the package of having attention in the breath and in the body. Now, going back to years ago, and I've talked about it periodically, the practice of no place to go and nothing to do.

[55:47]

And I want to speak about this in relationship to background mind. This was... One of the first practices I did, and particularly one of the more sustained, particular practices I did, Okay, I was very busy at the time. I was a new father. I was a graduate student at the university and I also worked for the university full time.

[56:56]

And I was also practicing regularly at the San Francisco Zen Center. So to survive, I created these two phrases. There's no place to go and there's nothing to do. And I reiterated these tens of thousands of times of scrolls. I don't know. I actually don't know quite how I put these two phrases together. But what I did discover is I had a background mind where I could put it, so it was sort of always present.

[57:58]

And as I say, when I tell this story, relate this story, I was able to have it on my breast for about... Three quarters of a year, seven or eight months. In other words, whenever I wasn't particularly engaged in something, I had this phrase, no place to go, nothing to do. And I particularly triggered it to any thought of doing something or any thought of going somewhere. So if I thought I have to go make a phone call, the word go immediately, no place to go.

[59:23]

I thought, I'd better do that, do such and such. I said, nothing to do. Of course, I did things and went places all the time. I had no choice. But at the same time, everything I had to do and go, every place I had to go, triggered. There's no place to go, nothing to do. And so it was, in fact, something I couldn't have imagined doing before I started practicing. And it was possible because I had started to practice.

[60:46]

Somehow it was possible because of Zaza and impossible because of a kind of beginning background mind. and as I said I was able to have it pretty much present all the time for about three quarters of a year and then I forgot about it at some point I just didn't stop doing it And I didn't even know I'd forgotten it. Just stopped doing it.

[61:49]

And then one day I was walking in the park in the park in Pacific Heights. And I suddenly remembered to do it again. And what I liked best when I remembered it, I didn't think I'd failed for two months. I didn't criticize, you bad boy, you've forgotten to practice now. I just, oh, I started up again. I didn't criticize myself, you bad boy, you've forgotten now. I just thought, oh, And I felt, I remember feeling, noticing that I didn't, noticing that I felt I had endless time. I could just, well, do it. Who cares when I do it? And then I continued again for until about a year and a quarter.

[62:52]

And then one day I noticed I always felt there was no place to go, nothing to do. I had lots of things to do always, but fundamentally I never did. never have cared again, much to the exasperation of my wife sometimes. Wives. Since then, there has never really been the feeling that there really is something that has to be done. Very sorry to my wife Anne. Okay.

[64:11]

But when I lodged, lodged, placed, no place to go and nothing to do in the background mind, that was a background mind. War das ein Hintergrundgeist? So as it was lodged in, it turned into background light. Yeah, if I hadn't been doing Zazen, I wouldn't have had the ability to put something there that kept reappearing all the time. Also hätte ich nicht Zazen gemacht, hätte ich diese Fähigkeit nicht besessen, etwas zu haben, von wo aus es immer wieder auftauchen konnte. And I discovered it, of course, through that. I could work with my intentions and views. I had a tool to work with my intentions and views. So that's an example of background mind. But when I came to the point where I always felt no place to go and nothing to do,

[65:16]

The use of this phrase and the implicit content of the phrase generated a much, much deeper pervasive background mind, they're both background mind. One is the fruit of practice. Both are the fruit of practice, etc., One is really the fruit of practice, although both are fruits of practice. Let's call it in the second stage, I could live in this feeling of the background, in this feeling of life in the background.

[66:35]

Now, we could talk now about senses that are more than or other than or more subtle than the six senses. But I think that's for tomorrow. Or the next winter branches. Okay? So let's ring the bell. The sound of the trees is an ingredient of practice.

[68:29]

Thank you, thank you very much Thank you for translating. Your brain didn't explode this time. This is good. Before we came down, she said, I'm not sure I can do this. I was taught by a practice of non-comfort.

[70:04]

Gentle non-comfort.

[70:11]

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