The Womb of the Tathagata #5

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Description: 

Torei's vow; bowing in humility in the face of cruelty; meeting monsters with lovingkindness.

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Transcript: 

We just chanted a vow written by the leading disciple of Hakuin-Zenji, his name is Tore, Zen Master Tore, and he said something like, Then, on each flash of thought will grow a lotus flower, and on each lotus flower there will be a Buddha sitting, glorifying the Pure Land. And then he says, may we attain maturity in Buddha's wisdom. Give me the chant card back. So, part of what he said in that chant is, you know, now he sees everything.

[01:06]

Now, as a student of Dharma, he sees everything, as everything in the universe, as a manifestation of the mysterious truth of Tathagata. So, people might think, well, what about cruelty? What about cruelty? So the form of the universe seems to sometimes have cruelty appearing. But cruelty appearing includes that I have the thought that that's cruel. I have the thought I'm being cruel, or she's being cruel. I have that thought. And so, let's say I have the thought that someone's being cruel to me,

[02:17]

and he says, I should sincerely bow down, and with humble language, in reverent belief, that he or she is a merciful avatar, who uses skillful devices to emancipate me from my own egoistic delusion. So I see someone who's being cruel, I bow down to them, and with humble language, you know, relate to them. I have this thought, this person's being cruel to me. On that thought, they're being cruel to me. If I practice this way, a lotus flower will bloom,

[03:23]

and there'll be a Buddha up there telling me how to talk to this avatar, in the form of cruelty. The Buddha's coming to me in the form of cruelty, and I'm respecting the situation and speaking humbly to the situation, and then relating to this image of cruelty. In this way, respectfully and humbly, a lotus flower will bloom, and there'll be a Buddha sitting there telling me how to talk to this person, which would probably be, continue to speak respectfully and humbly to this person. Now look down on them, now look up at them. Maybe look up at the Buddha, who's telling me how to relate to this person.

[04:24]

Yes, yes, teacher, thank you for guiding me, thank you for suggesting to me how to talk to this cruelty, how to speak to this cruelty. Thank you. Thank you. Or injustice comes to me, appears to me, and I see this as the Buddha giving me a skillful means, saying, can you relate to this with compassion?

[05:26]

How about this? Can you relate to this with compassion? Can you be respectful of this? Can you be tender with this? And if I accept that offering, and I practice that way, a lotus flower will bloom, and the Buddha will be there teaching me, and the Buddha might say, yell at that person, and you might shout, you might shout, stop, you might stop, you might shout, no! But this is coming from humility, this is not talking down to the cruel person, this is coming from compassion. It's a no, and you're speaking for everybody, including the Buddhas who are telling you,

[06:30]

say no, say stop. But there's a lot of other things you can say, like, excuse me, I have something better for you to do, come over here. Or, you know, if that's beneath you, you can do better than that. Could I talk with you? But it could be, stop, it could be no. Why? A lot of possibilities, infinite possibilities, when you practice this way, infinite possibilities are given to you, and because of the way you're relating to this, you pick a good one, not necessarily the best one,

[07:32]

just one among perhaps several appropriate responses, appropriate to what? Appropriate to maturing all beings who has wisdom, maturing this cruelty into wisdom, or this cruel person into wisdom, or the person who's seeing cruelty into wisdom. So, the practitioner who's being respectful and seeing this as an opportunity for the Buddha way, not an opportunity to kill this cruelty, not an opportunity to look down on it, not an opportunity to slander it, not an opportunity to turn away from it, not an opportunity to, etc., lie about it, deny it, but an opportunity to not do any of those things,

[08:33]

and rather do something that will bring this person and that person and all people to maturity and wisdom. Have a compassionate response that's coming from this way of relating to this appearance, this avatar in the form of cruelty, finding a way to relate to it that matures everybody in the situation, which might include that somebody might say, you know, I feel terrible about being so cruel. I'm so sorry I was cruel, and I'm so sorry. Thank you for helping me see that. Without even accusing me of it, you woke me up to my cruel acts. When I am awakening to my cruel acts, this is a growth in wisdom. And the people, generally speaking, the people who wake us up to our cruelty

[09:42]

are people who are kind to us. If we're being cruel and people disrespect us, it doesn't make us usually think, oh, I was cruel. It makes us think, they're being cruel. They're being disrespectful. And they're stupid. They're telling me I'm cruel. They're stupid. Is someone coming from... Yeah, there's a cat over there. There's a cat. You must remember, you must remember not to leave the cat in the house at the end of the day. You don't want any trapped cats or trapped rats. So that was an easy avatar, right? You had no trouble being compassionate to the cat. Good job, guys! That cat didn't fool you. You realized what that cat was asking for.

[10:43]

It was calling for compassion, and you were up for it, right? What about a rat? Same story, really. We can mature this cat in Buddha's wisdom. We can mature a rat. We can mature all beings if we relate to them as though all beings are offering us an opportunity for reverence and humility and humble language and a reverent belief. When you look at the person, they're giving you an opportunity to practice Buddha's way, which again might take the form of... No. No! No, no, [...] no!

[11:47]

But it also might come in the form of... Come over here. Let's have lunch. Who knows what it will be? It might even take the form of... Oh, I just hate it when you're cruel. It really bugs me. Or, you know... Could I take over? You're not being cruel enough. Could I do it for you? I think I can be more cruel than you. Wouldn't that be nice? And they say, yeah, go ahead. Then you try to do it. But maybe you're not too good at it. And so you have a conversation with this, whatever you want to call it, avatar in the form of a bully, in the form of a brute, in the form of an insane person. You develop a conversation with them. And because of the way you relate to them, you've got Buddha telling you how to talk, guiding your speech in conversation.

[12:48]

And in that conversation, everybody matures in Buddhist wisdom. Is this an amazing vow of an amazing person who is a Zen master? This is a type of Zen master that he was. He was very devoted and very amazing. And we have his vow, at least one of his vows. He wrote some other ones, too. Maybe, if somebody wants to, I'll tell you where you can try to find more of his vows and share them with me. I mean, with us. It's amazingly early. We have approximately 5.6 billion years

[13:52]

before the next Buddha comes. We're on the early side. You know what I mean? The last one was only 2,500 years ago. We're like in the beginning phase here. We've got a lot of time to get ready to make a Buddha appear in this world. In the meantime, we practice what the last one taught us. And the next one, by the way, the name of the next one is Loving Kindness. That's the name of the next Buddha. We already know what the Buddha's name is. Maitreya Buddha. So get your Loving Kindness ready and start using it on all monsters and terrifying beings, terrifying thoughts, terrifying feelings. Treat them in such a way that on each one, a lotus flower will bloom,

[14:54]

a Buddha will teach, and we will work together to achieve maturity, or attain maturity in Buddhist wisdom. Wouldn't that be just up our alley? Down our alley? Is it down our alley or up our alley? Up. Up? It's not down? Yes? Good. Can you tell us now where we could find some more of his writings? Yeah. It's called, his works are called, there's two translations, one by a Japanese person and one by, if you can excuse the expression, an American person,

[15:55]

named Tom Clarey. And the other one is by a Japanese person, but they're both in English. I'm talking about English translations. It's originally in Japanese. And I think they're both called The Inextinguishable Lamp. And one of them has a commentary. So one of them is a big fat book, which is Torres Enge's words, and there's quite a few vows. He wrote quite a few vows in that. So maybe if somebody wanted to pull those vows out, we could have a collection of Torres Enge vows for us to be amazed by. Do you recommend either one of those more, like Thomas Clarey's? I don't, but I would think, well, you could look at the two. Actually, what I recommend is look at both and find out, look at the vows you find in both. And then give us two sets of vows,

[16:59]

if you wanted to do that. Or your minions. By the way, minions basically means darlings. Get our Zen vowing practice, get it working. Oh, you guys can write vows too, by the way, and share them with us. Yes? I don't know, for me,

[18:00]

vows or promises bring some kind of anxiety and kind of obsessiveness and kind of like holding, to me it's like holding on to something that holds me tight. Whereas when I hear the vow, like when I'm reading, but I'm not taking the vow, but as I hear it, the hearing of it and listening to it without giving my vows to it, it's more lucid and I can be playful with it, I can understand it better than just giving my vow. And I'm wondering how people can do that by giving their vows and being lucid about it. Thank you for that statement. And so for now, just enjoy and play. And then when you're done playing, we can do the scary stuff.

[19:02]

And promise. And once you promise, things do get scarier. So play with the fears you have now, with the vows, enjoy them, and at some point, you make a commitment. And part of the commitment is that once you make a commitment, then if you don't follow through, you feel things that you don't feel when you haven't committed. Say it again? Once you make a commitment, and then if you don't follow through, you feel a certain way, which is not comfortable. Because you promised, you vowed, you committed, and you didn't follow through. So there's some discomfort there. But that discomfort is an essential ingredient in making Buddhas. But before that, you can enjoy the vow without that discomfort. And then when you're done

[20:04]

practicing that way with the vow, you can try this other way. But that discomfort... Like when somebody... If somebody just shows you a jewel, or shows you something beautiful, you can enjoy it. But if they actually give it to you, and you don't take care of it, you feel kind of embarrassed. Somebody gives you something and says, do you want to take care of this? And you say yes, and then you don't. You feel kind of embarrassed. Like, you were so kind to me, and I didn't take care of the gift you gave me. That's part of what it takes. Part of what it takes to become a Buddha is to feel that sorrow, which is called repentance. And the other one is, if... Well, first of all, even if you don't... I take it in two parts.

[21:04]

First of all, they give it to you. They give you a bodhisattva precept. And you don't take care of it. You feel embarrassed. Next one is, you aspire to practice it, and you don't follow through. And then you feel a different kind of pain, which is in between you and this activity. So both inwardly and in relationship, the discomfort you feel when you don't take care of the gifts that are given to you, which you really appreciate, and commitments you make, which you really appreciate, that discomfort is something which we should tell people about beforehand. So part of this process of making these vows is that people are mature enough to know, like you do, that there's going to be some discomfort. And without that discomfort, we avoid something in the process. But isn't that what is naturally happening

[22:09]

within everybody, whether they keep their vows or not? Isn't that something that is like enabling us that process? Well, we come back to what I was saying this morning. Actually, we already have Buddhist wisdom. Fully. We already have it fully. But we don't realize it because we have some attachments and some views. Like we think, well, maybe I'd get uncomfortable if I promised to do something and didn't follow through. You might be. And also, I don't want to be. I'm attached to not being uncomfortable. I'm afraid of the pains of samsara. Yes. And so in order to realize that you already are doing it, you have to promise at some point and be willing to feel what it's like when you promise and don't follow through. And that will be part

[23:10]

of being the person you already are. The person you already are is fully possessed of Buddhist wisdom, but if you don't want to, if you want to avoid how you'll feel after you promise, then you're avoiding being the person you are, and then it's going to be hard for you to realize that you already have Buddhist wisdom. In order to accept Buddhist wisdom, we have to accept what comes with being me and not avoid part of me. Avoiding part of me is avoiding part of Buddhist wisdom. And so, many people are practicing the precepts quite well, but have not promised. They're not really into it yet, even though they're better than me or better than some of us. Some other people are not too good at the precepts

[24:12]

but haven't promised. They're into it. And also, promising gives people an opportunity to have a conversation with you. If you're practicing the precepts and you haven't promised to practice them, people don't feel invited to talk to you if you aren't. But if you promise, they say, did you promise to be kind? And you say, uh-huh. Could I talk to you about what you just said? Uh-huh. So, that's a difficult area. There's something about us that... Yeah, there's something about us. And the way we are, being that way, is what has Buddhist wisdom. That there's something about...

[25:14]

When we want to do something and we commit to it, if we don't follow through, we have a problem. And that's the way we are. And we're already that way. But if you don't practice it, you don't feel it. Like my granddaughter, you know. She... She was swimming in public swimming pools. And she peed in the swimming pool. And she told her mom that she peed. And she was... As they say, she was beside herself with remorse. She was like... It was just... She felt so terrible that she had done that. It was very hard for a little girl to feel all that. She was barely able to stand how bad she felt for doing that.

[26:15]

It's hard. But also it's so beautiful that she actually really felt bad about that. And she wasn't getting punished by her, by anybody. She just felt really bad that she did that. There's something about us that's part of what we are like when we're not being psychopaths. Or sociopaths. We're not really that way. But some people really have a hard time waking up to that. Very difficult for some people to really feel bad about being cruel or uncareful. It's hard. It's hard for all of us to feel bad about being uncareful. We all have a hard time with that. You can get better at it. But the way you get better at it is by feeling it over and [...] over. The great beings are ones who have felt that pain

[27:17]

of not living in accord with their aspiration over and over and over. They get more welcoming of it. They get more patient with it. They get more tender with it. They're more loving of it. Of the pain of not being in accord with the way we want to be. So, the more you practice that, the more you can practice that, the more you practice that, the more enlightened you are. And generally, people say, well, you stop making mistakes. Well, actually, you start noticing ones you didn't even notice before. You may stop some that you used to do, but then you start to notice ones you didn't even notice before. And then you may stop those. Then you notice ones that you didn't notice before. It's like endless refinement. Endless. And in our chant, in our ceremony of confession and repentance,

[28:20]

when we receive the precepts, after we do the confession and repentance, we say to the people, from now on and even after realizing Buddhahood, will you continue this truthful practice of confession and repentance? And they say, whoa, whoa, whoa. Buddhists have to continue the practice after being Buddha? That's what it says. It's an endless practice. It isn't like, okay, I'm Buddha. I don't have to do that anymore. I don't have to do that anymore. I have a question over here. Yes. What if somebody naturally is very much so like that, very, very sorrowful naturally, almost immediately physiologically sick when they kind of know... Like my granddaughter. Yeah, as a child. Yes, what about that? Do you think it's still helpful to take the vows?

[29:24]

My granddaughter's not ready to take the vows. She's too little. It's not time for her. What she needs now is several years of that kind of disclosure and receiving compassion for it. She needs to say she's sorry quite a few times and feel that sorrow and show it to her mother and her grandfather over and over and realize every time I show this repentance, this sorrow over my mistake, every time I do that, I get back love. That's the reality of the process. The more you confess, the more love you get. And you have to see that for many years before you really should take the leap

[30:30]

and make a commitment, which is going to give you new pains that you didn't have when you were a little kid. So I would say, yeah, if someone was like that, I would say, I think we need to have more confidence that if you do practice confession and repentance, you're going to be rewarded for it by the Buddha's compassion. I remember when I was a kid, I actually enjoyed Laurel and Hardy movies. Do you know Laurel and Hardy? They're from your home country, right? Are they? I don't know. I think they're English, or Scottish. I don't know. Anyway, I think they were born on that island. And one time, in one of the stories, it's getting late, but anyway, in one of the stories, one of the movies, Laurel and Hardy's spouses went to some kind of convention.

[31:37]

No, no. They went on a convention to some place. And they were carrying on with, you know, dancing ladies and stuff like that. But somehow there was some kind of filming of this convention that they went to, and their wives somehow saw it on a newsreel. They saw their husbands cavorting with all these scantily clad ladies. And then when they got back home, their wives confronted them and said, What were you doing during this vacation? And I think one of them, Mr. Hardy, said, I wasn't involved in that. And the other one, when his wife asked him, she said, Were you involved in it? And he went... He usually respects his husband.

[32:42]

And she said, Honesty is the best policy. And he said, Yes, I did. I'm sorry. I was involved in that. And he got rewarded with love. Mr. Hardy did not tell the truth. He said, I had nothing to do with that. And he got rewarded with love in another form. So, I think that's a good point, that the preceptors who are giving out teachings for people to commit to, be careful not to give them to people who have not experienced, that they can confess their shortcomings and be loved. Not loved because of your shortcomings, but loved because you're not hiding. We should love people who don't, who we do, we do love, but we should practice loving people who are telling us about their shortcomings, so they can do it more.

[33:46]

And I think that that's really where it's at, is to share our shortcomings, and when other people do them, to witness it with loving kindness and with eyes of compassion, so that they'll do it more and more, and this way they melt away the root of their shortcomings. That's what we chanted in the morning, right? So it's pretty far out, I know, but the more I talk about it, the more I think it's true. I'm really happy that people are raising their hands and they want to talk more, but it is past the time when we said we would stop. So, maybe we should stop and do one of our favorite songs.

[34:38]

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