Well, yesterday I promised to read some more from this great book of Uchiyama Roshi's about approach to Zen. Unfortunately, I found out from Bob it's out of print, so be careful with the library copy so that you all get a chance to read. But along about this time in Sesshin, I get so carried away with the You know, the sort of unrestricted, brutal life that's running rampant around the Zendo after all this sitting, that I sometimes get a little intoxicated by it. I have to be careful. And I never got to the book, you know. I waved it around in the air and I put it down. I never remembered what I wanted to share with you from it. I'll try again today. But I do want to express my deep appreciation for everyone's sincere effort during this session.

[01:11]

I have been greatly moved by it and have greatly appreciated sitting with you and talking with you and just being here with you. I'm very much looking forward to the Jukai ceremony this afternoon, the giving and the receiving of precepts. This seems like a very auspicious day for it. It's beautiful weather and everyone is all mellow after five days of just being with your breath. But I wanted to talk a little bit about the questions come up, of course, in discussions that Ross brought up. As I say, when people are all sitting with such care, what I keep seeing is this Buddha side, and I don't talk about, well, you know, what about the fact that

[02:25]

It may be, you know, I understand on some level that I'm perfect just as I am, or I understand we're all living one Buddha life, but how come I don't feel like it all the time? You know, what's all this other stuff? And that there is an exchange between yin yan and dong shan, that that I want to bring up in that regard when Deng Xian went to Yun Yan and said, I have... I still have some habits that are not yet eradicated. And Yun Yan said, oh, what have you been doing? And Deng Xian said, I... I haven't even concerned myself with the Four Noble Truths. Of course the Four Noble Truths are some of the earliest teaching of Buddhism.

[03:37]

Suffering, there is suffering, there's a cause of suffering, there is a cessation of suffering, and there is the Eightfold Noble Path which leads to the cessation of suffering. But in the Zen school, particularly in the early Zen school, this suggestion that there might be some gradual path, this cessation of suffering, was frowned upon. So he said, I haven't even been concerning myself with the Four Noble Truths. And Yunyun said, are you joyful yet? And this word, the Chinese word that's used for joyful, is the same, is the translation of the word that's used, paramudita, for the, to describe the first bhumi, or the first level of sainthood, it says in the book. But anyhow, the first level of the Bodhisattva. The word is joyful, and so he says, I wouldn't say that I'm not joyful.

[04:45]

It's as if I've found a bright pearl in a pile of shit, you know. So sometimes this perfection or this Buddha life that we discover seems to be in a pile of mess that we have to clean up. But I think the fundamental thing is to see the bright pearl, is to see the line that connects you to this one life that we all live, this Buddha life or this universal life that we're all living together, with all being. And to see, you know, the pile of garbage that's also there, you know. And just to live this Buddha life, seeing the pile of garbage and letting it just kind of not continuing to add our energy and attention to the garbage and kind of keep it going, you know.

[06:02]

It's there, you know. We have all kinds of accumulated karmic stuff. And we wouldn't be here if we didn't, you know. I mean, that's how we got here. And it's hard really, you know, seeing where we are in the midst of this Buddha life. It's really kind of pointless to regret stuff from the past, you know. If it weren't for every single thing that's made us who we are, we wouldn't be who we are, where we are, doing what we're doing. You know? So we can only be really kind of grateful for all of it, and that all of it somehow happened to land us where we are. With the opportunity to practice, with the opportunity to discover this bright pearl in the middle of it all.

[07:09]

And with the opportunity to recognize that every being, every being is also a bright pearl. You know, in a pile of shit, you know? That's who we are. Some people's piles are this big and smell like that, and some people's piles are this big and smell like that, but, you know, it's all, you know, it's all the accumulation of our life, and, or as Uchiyama Roshi says, it's the scenery of our life. So my scenery is different than your scenery. And so I have to look at a different pile than you do. But the main thing is not to get fascinated with the pile and keep putting all of our energy and say, oh my god, what a bunch of ooh, ooh, ooh.

[08:25]

And add to it. Just build it up. Make a mountain out of a molehill. And the way we can withdraw adding to this pile and building it up out of, you know, making it seem bigger than it is or more, you know, my pile is bigger than your pile or something, is to keep returning to the foundation of our life. to this, with our body we attain the way. To put ourselves in this posture, one inch of Sazen is one inch of Buddha. To put ourselves in this posture, attend to this body and breath, and not chase after the thoughts that are really just the traces of all this accumulation of debris.

[09:34]

not believe that the thoughts are the actual life of this life, but to keep coming back to living the actual life of this life, which we share with everyone. Anyhow, I am going to read you some passages from Approach to Zen because I just like the way that Uchiyama Roshi talks about it. And I want to interest you in the book because he talks about a lot more than there's any possibility that I'll talk about, and with, you know, extremely cogently. He speaks to You know, in the course of this book, he speaks to every question that was brought up in interviews, actually. There isn't a question that was brought up in the interviews with me that he doesn't speak to in some way in this book, which is why I really want to interest you in reading it.

[10:40]

Since I can't, you know, I wouldn't read all of it to you. It wouldn't be nice to have you just sit there while I read this book. If Zazen is the self which is only the self and has no relationship with other people and things, aren't you just closing yourself up in a shell called I and disregarding society and other people? Isn't this just a kind of self-fascination and withdrawal from the world? If Zazen isn't simply a withdrawal, an escape from the world, or a kind of self-fascination and is related to other people and society, in what way is it related? I think it's only natural to be skeptical about this. And this is the essential problem, especially for people who want to do Zazen and are searching for a true way to live.

[11:43]

However, there's an even more basic question than the problem of self and others. We must ask again, just what in the world is the self? And then he talks about this, which I brought up yesterday, that our usual concept of what is the self is over and against some other which is not self. A dualistic concept of self is that which is not other and other is that which is not self. And he points out that this is not the Buddhist understanding of self and goes on to tell about the pumpkins and so forth, okay? And then again, as I mentioned, he talks about this understanding is not limited to Zen, you know, Zen understanding.

[12:53]

It's a common understanding throughout Buddhism and he talks about Nembutsu and Zen. And he quotes a commentary on the awakening of faith. The Buddha's vow is described as follows. The true mind of the sentient being turns around and awakens the sentient being himself or herself. In other words, this true mind is the Buddha's vow itself. This is referring to Amitabha's vow. Here it is clear that in Buddhism, while we might do Zazen or the Nembutsu chant, it is basically the very same attitude towards life. In other words, this small I is embraced by the universal and eternal, now he's talking about Nembutsu, Amitabha Buddha.

[13:56]

This has nothing to do with and is beyond the thoughts of the small I. It doesn't matter if I can think it's true or not, or whether I believe it or not. In fact, I am saved and embraced by the universal and infinite Amitabha Buddha. I am very thankful for this. Namo Amida Butsu. When we say this with our mouth, it is the Nimbutsu, which expresses our deep sense of gratitude. When we perform this with our whole body, it is Zazen. which is shojo no shu, which he's described before, which is zazen, which is to leave and sit. Or as Katagiri Roshi so deliciously says, just shut your mouth and do it. When people chant the nambutsu, they're doing zazen with their mouth, and when we do zazen, we're performing the nambutsu with our whole body.

[15:03]

And so forth. Okay. A person who wakes up to the universal self by letting go of his thoughts in zazen works and lives out the universal self during his whole lifetime and in each daily activity. This must be the attitude of waking up and living which a person who does Zazen takes toward his whole life and daily activities. Then he goes on to talk about how this is included in our teaching. He talks about the life at Eheichi Monastery based on the Eheichi Shingi. the rules of practice at Eiheiji, and brings up the Tenzo Kyokun, which is the book which has been translated and with commentary by him in a book which many of you may be familiar with in English called Refining Your Life, which is about living your life in your everyday activity based on the understanding that we're all living one life, based on our understanding through Zazen.

[16:17]

Um... Okay. I keep reminding myself I can't read the whole book, can't read the whole book. So what in the world does it mean to live and work as the universal self? It is living and working in the now, which is only now, and as the self, which is only the self, no matter what happens. This means that whatever happens, we live out and work through what we are now faced with as our own life. In this attitude towards life, there is no past, future, or other person before the eyes of the self. there is only living out the reality of raw life. In other words, if I fall into hell, hell itself is my life at that time and I will live right through hell.

[17:30]

If I go to paradise, paradise itself is my life, and I will live straight through paradise. This is the attitude. As long as man wakes up, or as long as a person wakes up and lives as the universal self, he or she always works in the direction where the universal is alive. Everything we confront is our life. Because of this, the aim is to make all things the world, people, affairs, etc. live as the universal life with the attitude that the self is taking care of the life of the self. In Zatenso Kyokun, this is called parental mind, the mind of a parent looking after a child. I live with your life and the universal life lives within my own life. I live within your life and the universal lives within my own life. This is because you and I and the universal are living out the life which pervades everything.

[18:34]

Well, maybe that's enough. It's wonderful, but I can't read it all. So... There's one other thing which occurred to me that I wanted to bring up. There's a... a koan in the Blue Cliff Record, number 27 of the Blue Cliff Record, with Oumon, a monk asked Oumon, what will it be when the tree withers and the leaves fall and Uman says, body exposed to the golden wind. I've always loved that. Something in me just responded to that koan the first time I heard it.

[19:43]

I love it. I don't know what he meant when he said it, but today what it means to me has something about what we've been doing. We've been talking about this practice that Suzuki Roshi brought up in the lecture I asked you to read. This practice is about exposing ourself to ourself and to each other. exposing really, exposing this fundamental Buddha life of ourself, but exposing everything, just looking at, you know, at the pile and at the pearl. And so for me right now, how I'm seeing this koan is that when, you know,

[20:46]

that the leaves flourish and grow and get thick when the sap rises up in the tree, to the crown of the tree. And if we take the sap of our attention down out of the crown of the tree and bring it down into the roots, these leaves can wither and fall and we can expose, be exposed to the golden wind of the Buddha life. So what we do in Zazen is to keep bringing our attention, you know, which is the kind of lifeblood of our life. Attention, you know, the story now, I don't remember. See, I don't know these things well enough to remember, but somebody asked somebody to do a calligraphy, right? About the real meaning of Zen and he put attention. Is that all? I mean, can't you say something more than that?

[21:48]

So he put another one, attention. Can't you say something more? And he put again, attention. The real meaning is what do we do with our attention? Do we attend to our actual life or do we attend all of these fleeting thoughts which come along? Do we believe the life of our life or do we believe these just rampaging thoughts that batter about and pushes about? I had somebody come in to interview and say, I'll have a list to do when I'm dead. That's wonderful. I mean, that really describes what we do to ourselves. We've got a list of all the stuff we've got to do, and we'll even have a list when we die about what we're supposed to do then. So are we going to believe all this stuff? Are we going to attend? Are we going to put the energy and attention of our life into where our life really is?

[22:50]

And that's what Zazen is about. It's to help us to put our attention into the real life of our life. And when, you know, when we feel in our body some of the pile coming up, attend to it. Give it your full attention. See it. Don't think about it. Feel it. Attend to it. What are the physical sensations that... How do I experience this fear, or this anger, or this sadness, or whatever it is? What is the actual experience? Attend to it. Take care of it. Be one with it. This is our life, you know. Allow... Allow the stuff to be seen to be felt expose it to ourself Care for it stroke it with your breath Allow it to rise maintain and decay which is what everything does If you just stuff it it just stays stuffed for another occasion If you

[24:20]

act on it and run away from fear or lash out in anger or something, you just kind of keep it going. But if you attend to it, if you give it your full attention, you can say, here I am, and you can say, OK, hello, this is me. Breathe it in and breathe it out. Little by little, we remove the energy from this old stuff and allow our life to have its full dimension. Are there some questions? Yeah. And I may not like you you may not like me And it doesn't matter you know that you don't have to love me

[25:29]

and we can practice again. And, you know, I'm thinking about this, too, Kai, and there are various people who are coming who I love and who know me and know me a long time and know all my stories. And, you know, I've been realizing that I sort of want all of them to love me because I don't. And it doesn't matter if any of you do, That was sort of what I was saying, thank you. At the beginning of Sechín is this is what we do for each other in Sechín. This is, this is, we allow each other to see ourselves more and be safe with each other because we're all sitting together.

[26:55]

We feel much safer with other people who are sitting, I think, than with people who are not, you know, who haven't yet made some discovery of the fact that we're all living the same life. so that in Sesshin we're more free to see ourself. I do want to say a little bit about Jukai. I hope all of you will be here for it. Although there are nine people who are receiving the precepts formally today, together with new names and Buddha's robe, When we do a ceremony like this together, those of us who have already had some ceremony of receiving precepts, and those of us who may not have yet had some ceremony receiving precepts, we all take the precepts together.

[28:02]

And you can, by your attention, you know, the root meaning of sacred is to dedicate to a single purpose. So we can, by our attention and concentrated presence at this ceremony, make it sacred for everyone. These precepts are how we practice with our life. We again and again return to our vow just like we again and again return to our breath and posture in zazen. These are not something we can do any more than zazen is something we can do.

[29:11]

These are something we can intend. And with our intention, we can work with the precepts. Once again, I don't know how to express fully my appreciation for the opportunity you've given me to sit this session with you. Many of you know this has been my first opportunity to sit a session in this way. For which I thank Mel who likes to throw people in the water and ask them to swim. And it's been wonderful swimming with you. Thank you very much.

[30:09]

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