a tactile sensation of the breathing in the body. If you come where the in-breath and then the out-breath. And see if than in being aware of in-breath and out-breath. You could also like to rest in the awareness of the tactile sensations of the breath and that resting could be spoken of or understood also as letting go of any kind of grasping.

[01:19]

Grasping of the breath or grasping of any objects. So, one way to develop this tranquility is given to be aware of something, for example, the breath. And then, once aware of it, Then try to, moment by moment, in that awareness, to relax, to release any gripping tendencies of the mind. Once again, gripping tendencies towards the breath, which you're paying attention to, but also gripping or the grasping impulses towards anything else that comes up.

[02:29]

And grasping could also include reject. If something comes up and you reject it, in a sense what you've done is judge it as worthy of rejection and grasp that. judgment and then wishing to reject it. In being intimate with the breath, being close to the breath, another way to talk about gripping it or grasping it would be that you try to control it. For the sake of developing tranquility, again, I would suggest you relax the impulse to control the breath. So in the particular meeting with the experience of breathing, that meeting

[03:52]

with whatever experience of breath is available and meet that experience with breath with complete relaxation. Now, if you become aware of something else besides the breath, then I would suggest the same meeting namely whatever comes in this relaxation or this releasing of any gripping or grasping of it. In a sense, when one moment you're aware of the breath and the next moment you're aware of what might be called a distraction from the breath, In some sense, you could say anything was a distraction from the breath.

[05:01]

So, being aware of the breath and then being aware of a sound, of music or someone's voice or an airplane or a heater, heating system, or a bell, one could consider those phenomena as distraction from paying attention to the breath. But if they're met with this non-grasping, which is the same way of meeting the breath when it comes, when you are paying attention to it, then they're not distractions. If you're not paying attention to the experience of the breath, because you don't have one at that moment, you have some other experiences. What turns these things, other than the breath, into distractions is the grasping of them or the rejecting of them.

[06:08]

Then you get carried away. If you reject them or grasp them, you're carried away by them, carried away from the practice of tranquility. But if you grasp or reject the breath, you also get carried away in the tranquility. It's not actually the fixing of the attention on the breath that's important, although this is a useful opportunity. Choose something like the breath and then try to remember pay attention to it with the aid of mindfulness. But it's really the non-grasping way of being with the breath that is what stabilizes, calms, invigorates and clears the mind and makes it, makes the type of attention now very useful for living.

[07:20]

What I'm leading up to is another way to think about or another way to understand the practice of tranquility, which does not depend on using the breath as an object. But I'm cautious to take that step. until I feel like you're ready. So I want to make more sure that you understand that you can use the breath as an object. You could often use some other objects to develop tranquility. For example, sometimes the image of a Buddha is used of the image of an enlightening being, a bodhisattva's view, as an object in the practice of developing concentration.

[08:30]

You can also use colors. And the breath can also be used. But the key factor in developing tranquility is not to be able to stay with the object, although that is very helpful, but to stay with the object in a way such that you are getting in touch with the way the mind knows that you're actually training your attentions into the very simple way that awareness knows objects. And that way that we know things is uninterrupted.

[09:33]

We always, whenever we are having an experience, that way of knowing is there. The reason why I'm bringing this up is because that way that the mind is all the time is always available, whereas you may not be able to always follow your breathing or focus on the image of the Buddha or color. So in order to develop tranquility, it may not be necessary to pick one object which you're using as a continuous thing you're paying attention to, but rather to train the mind, to train the attention onto that quality of consciousness which is always there.

[10:35]

And you can find that and train your attention onto that when you're looking at the breath. Once again, when you pay attention to the breath, without grasping it, without trying to control it. And then again, when any kinds of thoughts come up about the breath, about your meditation practice, you don't grasp those either. So you learn to treat everything, including the breath, the same way. And that way of training things is to train your attention onto the way that awareness is operating in each case. So when awareness knows the sound, it just knows the sound.

[11:37]

When it knows the tactile sensation of breathing, it just knows the tactile sensation of breathing. When it knows a judgment, it just knows a judgment. When it knows a value, that's it. It knows an opinion, a view, whatever. It just knows. And then the mind has the ability to then get involved in grasping those things, any of those things, rejecting those things, trying to control those things, further judging those things, wishing something else was happening, wishing that this thing would last even though it might change. You wish it doesn't. and so on. And when the attention is looking at these abilities of the mind, which are also available all the time, that tends to promote turbulence and instability and non-tranquility. So the functions of mind which, if your attention is drawn to them, which disturb it, are almost always available.

[12:48]

And the function of mind, which when you attend to that, stabilizes, it's always available. So you can actually always be calm or always be obsessed. Both upset and calm are available. actually not available, but you can be upset and be calm because the kinds of things which you intend to disturb, you can always do those, and the kinds of things which you intend to tranquilize are also all available. So, I mean, maybe I don't have to tell you that you don't have to worry about not being able to be upset or disturbed in the future. you won't lose that opportunity because the mind is operating in ways which, if you look at that, you could easily become upset. So if you took a break from that, you don't have to worry that you're going to lose those abilities.

[13:50]

You won't lose those functions of mind. If you don't attend to them, they won't go away. Plus, the opportunity of paying attention to them and getting upset, that won't go away. All you have to do is look at them again. They'll always be available. So you don't have to worry about not being able to be upset, which some people actually do worry about because they imagine they have this image of what it would be like not to be upset, and they grasp that. And the image they have is that they'd be a zombie, or they would be cold, or they would be, you know, insensitive, or, you know, arrogant, you know, something like that. They see that image and they grab it. then they get frightened. You're such a person. As this one they imagined over here was not reactive and not hysterical and not upset and they're kind of proud of it. So that's still, again, showing you that you can always grasp these things and get yourself upset, but don't worry.

[14:55]

You'll always be able to. So if you take a break from it, it won't be the end of that style of life if you want it back. So I guess maybe I'll stop now and see how you're doing before I, in some sense, step off into a slightly, not slightly exactly, but somewhat different take on this, instructions and tranquility. I'd like to introduce more material, but I'd like to see if you have any questions before we go any further on what's been brought up in previous classes or so far this class. Question? I don't know if I go so far as to say the person stops grasping, but just that I think one can become fairly consistently

[16:13]

are letting go of this grasping tendency. It's not even exactly that you stop grasping, but more like you just let go of grasping. You don't get caught up in it. And I think that's possible to have that be something that goes on for a while, just like It's possible to follow the breathing and not grasp other things that are going on besides the breathing and experience that you're not being taken away from being aware of the breath. Even though, while you're paying attention to the breath, you're still aware of other things. For example, you're aware of your breath, but you still can see the room. And you can still hear sounds. Strictly speaking, you're not trying to focus on those. But even though you can hear these other things and also various thoughts arising in your mind, all this is going on in addition to the breath.

[17:17]

But if you stay with the breath, you don't get caught up in those things. I'll put it the other way. If you don't get caught up in those things, you feel like you stay with the breath. Even though I'm looking at your face, at the moment of seeing your face, I'm actually not aware of my breath. I'm seeing your face. But if I just see your face and then feel my breath, then I don't feel like your face is a distraction. But if I look at your face and start thinking about it and get caught by it and wish that it was different or that it would be the same or that I could possess it or get rid of it, then I'm caught by this face. And then I feel taken away from my breath. But it's possible, isn't it? You're with the breath, and you feel like I am with the breath, and other things are happening, but I'm not really with them. They're just happening. And so I don't feel distracted by them or taken away by them.

[18:20]

And then I might even feel like, well, actually, I'm with the breath, but I'm not even like I'm with the breath, but I'm not like attached to the breath. And if you're attached to the breath, that takes you away from the breath. So you learn, actually, that you're more with the breath when you don't attach to it. When you don't attach to the breath, that helps you not to attach to other things besides the breath and be taken away from it. So attaching to something actually takes you away from it. It's like rejecting from something kind of takes you away from it. If you practice this way for a while, you might find that gradually you find that you can experience more and more things in this mode of just knowing them without then in addition grasping them, or then without in addition commenting on them and being involved in that comment.

[19:23]

And so you more and more get into this non-grasping mode. And that stabilizes. So it is possible to pick up more regular edits. OK. Anything else you want to bring up about this now? In fact, I can't tell if you just, you know, can't even ask a question because you understand so little or if you're ready to make stuff. If you feel like you don't know enough even to ask a question, maybe let me know. Yes? Well,

[20:25]

Walking meditation is many kinds, but basically the easier way to get into it is to start to notice that your body is standing up. And then one way that I would suggest then is also then to notice that the standing body is breathing. If you notice the breathing, you can notice that part of the breathing is inhaling, part of the breathing is exhaling. So there's in-breaths and out-breaths. So you're standing up and you start noticing the breathing. And then when you notice that you're on the inhaling phase, at that time, Lift the foot that's in the back.

[21:34]

Start lifting the heel of the back foot as you feel the inhale. And then, as you lift the heel of the back foot, you're also shifting more weight onto the lead foot. And then, at the end of the inhale, that's what's ready to step. So when you begin the exhale, at the beginning of the exhale, take a step. And then, as you continue to exhale, finish the step, putting more weight onto the lead foot now, which used to be the back foot. And as you finish the exhale, then you watch and see when the inhale starts. And when the inhale starts, you then start lifting the heel of the back foot. Again, lifting the heel on the back foot. Until the end of the inhale. And then when the exhale starts, at the start of the exhale, start that step.

[22:39]

Again, continuing that step through the exhale. So that by the end of the exhale, the foot you just stepped with has quite a bit of weight. And then on the inhale, start lifting the heel again. And lifting the heel, you're taking some of the weight off the back foot. checking even more weight on the lead force. So by the end of the inhale, almost all your weight's on your lead force. So the back foot can easily move as it's getting your exercise. So this way, you need the walking coordinated with the breathing. So this is a palpable thing to be aware of, your body and your breath together. And so, If you do that, then you feel quite present with your body and breath. In that sense, it's similar to sitting and falling on your breath, but in some ways even easier, because in some sense, the added prop of your legs connecting with your breath.

[23:42]

Good luck. Yes, yes. Ginger and Michael, Yes, the hand. Well, you know, I could, but before I do, maybe you could tell me the difference. Put your hands into this mudra. of where, this is called the cosmic concentration mudra, this one where you place the hand, maybe the, in your case you have your right hand in the palm of your left hand, right? Now you switch, now you have your left hand in the palm of your right hand, right? And now you switch again. You're switching back and forth. Anyway, right now again, now you have your left hand and the palm of your right hand and you have your thumb tips touching, right?

[24:54]

And so your hands are making, your fingers and your thumb are making kind of an oval, okay? So you feel your hands there, okay? Now feel what it feels like to have it in this mudra. And I'm going to suggest that you move, but before you move, I want you to, like, feel how it feels different when you move. Feel what this is like, and then when you're ready, then take your hands and place them on your knees and see the difference in those two ways. You can go back and forth if you can't remember what one was like, but see what the two different ways are like. What difference does your feel hold the difference between them?

[26:08]

How would you characterize the way the three different ways of holding the hands? Focuses your mind a little bit more. And then, and then when you move them back, put, place them on your, on your knees. How does that change? Do you feel, how would you characterize that change? With the thumbs meet you felt very focused, yes? Feel more of your body? Uh-huh. [...] So, the position of the shoulders change, yes.

[27:14]

Anybody else have some feeling about the difference between those two ways of holding, of having your hands? How are they? So Andrea is saying that with her hands, with her palms on her knees, she feels kind of like tense and ready to go. And the other one, she says she feels calm and gentle. And more peaceful. Any other comments on the difference between the way these two feel? When you have your hands together in your center, you feel more that you're focusing on the center of your body, isn't it? You feel it's more grounding. And it's the way you feel kind of floating.

[28:17]

It feels more casual to have the hands on your knees. Anybody have any kind of, in some sense, contradictory feelings to these that have been mentioned? Yes? So I think that's part of what Ginger was saying, too, that when you have your hands in this mortar at your center, sometimes people feel tension in their shoulders. And you are holding your shoulders somewhat differently. Most people would hold, you might be able to keep them the same, but for a lot of people it shifts when you have the hands on the knees or you have them in this concentration mudra. And a lot of people feel more tension in their shoulders when they have the hand joined at the abdomen than they do when they have their palms on the knees.

[29:19]

And we can say a lot about this. One is that, although Andrea said kind of the opposite, that you've got more tension with the hands underneath than the hands that's in here. I myself, when I first started to do this concentration with Andrea, I felt tension in my shoulders, too, and had trouble holding it there without tension building up. So then I actually put my hands on my knees to rest from that. So when I put my hands, still when I put my hands in there, it feels kind of like, in some sense, kind of nice in a way. It's like relaxing. It's relaxing from the effort that I make when I do the mudra here. but it also feels somewhat more dispersed. And so for me it's more casual, a little bit more dispersed, and in some ways it's a relaxation from the other kind of thing which takes some effort from me.

[30:28]

And also my hands are like, my legs are taking the weight of my hands, you know, arms a little bit, so there is less pull on my shoulders. But the Southern Buddha does bring my attention into the center of my body now, too. And it's interesting that Andrea says that it was peaceful because it actually takes quite a considerable effort to do this, that she could be peaceful even though she's making an effort to make the mudra. And I think that sometimes we associate peace with... So, you know, an easier posture, even though sometimes it would be possible to be peaceful, making more effort. So anyway, these are two different ways, and they're both okay. But the way of holding the hands like this pushes you into a more dynamic situation because you have to take care of more.

[31:41]

If I think of the effort it takes to sit with my hands on my knees, I mean, there's a certain amount of effort there, but basically I'm not really making any effort with my arms. I can be aware of them being there, but I don't have to be, and they'll stay there. pretty nicely. I can go to sleep and they'll stay here. And sometimes actually in the path, I don't do it much anymore, but when I used to work outside Zen Center and come back to Zen Center to go to meditation in the afternoon after working, I used to go in my room and sit with my hands, cross my legs and sit with my hands on my thighs like this or on my knees and just go to sleep for a few minutes in this posture. And so it's very easy to sleep in this posture, and it takes care of itself quite nicely. You may nod a little bit, but the hands will stay pretty much where they are. Whereas the hands in this mudra are much less likely to stay there when you go to sleep.

[32:46]

Usually they'll droop, or the hands will fall apart, or the thumbs will collapse when you start going to sleep, especially if you aren't really asleep. And the hands, you could really drop apart, and the drool comes out of your mouth. So that's one big difference between these two. I think one takes a lot more attention. Especially for the first few years you practice, you will not be able to do this when you're asleep. Whereas the other one, you can do it when you're asleep. So it takes more effort. It takes more attention. And also then, it takes more skill of finding a way to hold your shoulders such that The tension which, sometimes you, like Mary said, the tension she has in her shoulders shows up when she does this. Right? That's the way you put it. Someone else might feel like they don't necessarily have tension here, but the way they hold their shoulders is kind of an intense way.

[33:49]

So anyway, whether you usually hold tension there, or you hold, or when you make this mudra, you put your arms in such a way that you're, that you're tensing your shoulders, tensing shows up. And if you keep working with this long enough, you find a way to sit such that you're sitting with it relaxed. Or if you put your hands on your knees, which is OK, you still don't know how to hold your shoulders in a relaxed way when they're in this position. So this position brings up a lot more to be dealt with. In that sense, it's much more energetic and requires much more attention. So I try to do this one if I can, but sometimes if I'm prepared or too lazy, I can't do it. Doesn't mean that everybody who puts their hands on their knees like this is lazy, but just that

[34:50]

People who hold their hands in the loggia are not, you know, they're making a big effort, that's all. Okay? Michael? Mm-hmm. Sure. You can... Did you say concentrate or focus? You said focus. Yeah. Well, I, again, I haven't talked too much about this, but sometimes the introducing tranquility meditation, one of the first things we mention sometimes is the posture. So sitting, with what you might call an upright posture might involve you being aware of your posture.

[36:08]

Some people might sit down like, I don't know, my grandson, as is often the case for little kids. When they sit, they just have really good posture. So, you know, he's like naturally, I guess, aware of his posture. He's not sitting there thinking, you know, it's my back straight. He just sits down, his back straight. And it's relaxed. And he's a happy boy. And so he is aware, and there is awareness in that, but he's not like training himself to be aware of his spine so that he can hold it up. But somehow his mother... also had a posture like that when she was little, but now she doesn't sit up like that anymore. She kind of curves her spine now. She's a pretty tall woman, so sometimes when she's sitting in the posture which she has adopted now in the last decade or so, when she's sitting in that posture, sometimes

[37:17]

I go up to her. She's sitting in a chair. I go up to her, and I lift her head up. One time I lifted her head up, and it made her about six inches taller. And she let me do that. And then when she was sitting in that posture, she said, My God, that table's a long ways away. So she's actually a pretty tall woman, and... And when she stands up straight, she's very elegant looking, too, because she's got a nice, tall, you know, great body. But she doesn't very often, like, put it up there. And in order for her to put it up there at this point in her life, she'd probably have to, like, pay attention, because as it is now, when she doesn't pay attention, it kind of, like, goes into some sort of a slouch. Whereas your son sits up perfectly right now. And he is aware, but it's natural for him. So at the beginning of practicing sitting upright, after some number of decades of slouching, you may have to pay quite a bit of attention in order to sit upright.

[38:30]

Even for one moment, you may have to pay quite a bit of attention to actually get it into actually upright posture. And then to get an upright posture that's not stressing you, that like it's just like, It's like a little boy is not stressed when he's in that position. It's just completely like... You can hardly believe that he's sitting straight because it's like, how could a person sit straight like that without making a big effort? So as you actually look at it, it's just like you just... Perfectly upright and perfectly effortless. Even though effortless means making no additional effort over being the person he is. He's just an upright little guy. And he's happy. He's not trying to be happy. He's happy because he has a good posture. And he has a good posture because he's alive and hasn't found out how to slouch yet. Little bodies, they have trouble spouting.

[39:33]

It's hard for the little fat tummies to bend over. They can't actually bend forward. But it's actually quite nice for him with a big, relaxed pep and then just like sits there. So for us, trying to find that upright posture, we may have to pay attention to it and check it every now and then. You could focus on it, but you don't have to focus on it all the time. You can just check every... every now and then to see that you're sitting up straight. And then if you find tension, you can notice the tension, but I wouldn't necessarily focus on the tension. I would suggest that you be aware of the tension if you'd like. If it's coming to you, be aware of it, but actually I would then not try to get rid of the tension or try to hold on to it. And that way you can treat your tension without giving in to the impulse to control it. That goes with relaxing and finding a posture that would release the tension just because it's in a position where it's not necessary to be tense.

[40:43]

But the tension could go on. Sometimes we tense things that we don't need to tense. Tension might go on for a while, but with the continual releasing around the neighborhood of the awareness of the tension, the tension might get the idea from that meditation you're doing. So then you might be upright, attending to the uprightness, noticing the tension, releasing all the impulses to control the posture and control the tension. And that, in the new year, the releasing may happen to the muscles too. Okay? Any other questions you want to bring up now? So maybe I could shift then to this other way of talking about this, and that is that, as I mentioned, I think, a little bit in the description of the course, you don't very often hear the term tranquility and insight meditation mentioned in Zen.

[41:53]

But I'm more of the understanding now that actually these factors of meditation are playing a part in Zen meditation. But we, for various reasons, which again I may get into later, how it comes that we don't use those terms. Anyway, we don't so much. But I think that those factors are in the meditation instructions of the Zen school. So, for example, We have a practice in Soto Zen called just sitting. Just sitting. And you can understand that it means like you're sitting, and when you're sitting, you're just sitting. So the body is sitting. And it might be sitting upright, it might not be sitting upright. But whatever way it's sitting, it's sitting. And then sometimes it is said that what that means to just be sitting, or what just sitting means, is it means body and mind are dropped off.

[43:07]

Sometimes people translate that into dropping off body and mind, like the meditator drops off the body and mind. But it's more like the body and mind are dropped off. In other words, there's a body and mind there In the sitting, there's a body and mind, just sitting. But even when somebody's sitting and there's a body and mind, they're sitting, if the body and mind are not being dropped off, it's not just sitting. What it is then is a body and mind sitting with clinging to the body and mind. So the body-mind experiences are being generated in the sitting posture, and the usual thing that people are doing are grasping and rejecting those experiences. So the body-mind are being held, held and maneuvered or manipulated or, you know, I wouldn't say interfered with.

[44:21]

being involved with. And in some sense, that way of being involved with the body and mind that's sitting, that way of being involved with the sitting body and mind, in a sense, takes you away from the body and mind which is just sitting. Like again, the grandson, he's just sitting there. He doesn't know how to grip his body and mind to be taken away from just sitting there. But later you learn how to like, you know, grasp the body-mind experiences and then somehow you're taken away and then actually, you might actually start bending over in your posture. Like you might think, you know, I'm sick. Anyway, you get involved in your body and mind. So the just sitting is actually to, the just sitting is not something you do, because again, that's kind of grasping. It is actually the body. The just sitting is actually the body. The body letting go of thought.

[45:33]

And this body that's letting go of thought is always there. So to sit and in some sense appreciate this body which is letting go, is another way to speak of tranquility meditation. But there's a little bit of turning the attention towards this body which doesn't grasp anything. which doesn't grasp various thoughts that co-arise with it. So again, you're training your attention to the way the body is. The way the body is for its thoughts is the way awareness is for its thoughts.

[46:41]

But if you think the body can grasp thoughts, And that's not the body we're talking about. We're talking about the body that doesn't know how to grasp thoughts. And that body is available. Just like the awareness, which knows without adding or subtracting, is also available. And there also may be a body that's clinging or gripping or tense that's also available. And there's also aspects of the mind which cling and grip. That's also available. So training the attention onto the body which doesn't grasp thought is training the attention on not grasping thoughts. But to put it physically that way might be helpful. So there's a busy body and there's an un-busy body.

[47:55]

And the sitting practice, which is just sitting, is emphasizing the un-busy body. It's emphasizing the body which isn't going any place and isn't grasping anything. It's celebrating the body which is letting go of thought, which means you're also then training the attention towards the mind which is not grasping. For the mind which functions and is aware without grasping, without getting distracted by all kinds of elaborations on what's going on. And once again, another way to put this is simply that to tranquilize the mind or to stabilize the mind and to bring life and flexibility to the mind by giving up those things which make it heavy and rigid and inflexible.

[49:01]

Things that make the mind heavy, rigid and inflexible are when the mind grasps. So by training the mind, by training the attention towards non-grasping, you start to rest in non-grasping. You start to rest. You start to calm down. And that, of course, includes, sorry to say, that you might be listening to what I'm saying and continuing the practice of trying to grasp what I'm saying, which is understandable. But that way of listening to me would be antithetical, just being aware of what I'm saying without trying to grasp it. And there's part of you which wants more than just to hear these words and to be aware of them.

[50:03]

Part of you wants to grasp them and have them for future reference, which is okay. But the tranquility meditation is to listen without trying to get anything, without trying to grasp the words you're hearing or the teachings that are to give it. And you could... This would be a good example of the difference between the mode of tranquility and the mode, the usual mode. It would be to switch from... maybe trying to get what I'm talking about, to just listening and knowing what I'm talking about, but not grasping. You can see how it's, in some sense, really hard to shift, because you kind of want something. And if you want it, if some thought arises and you actually want that thought, or you think there's something good about that thought, then you're going to have trouble letting it go. But I'm actually suggesting that you give it a try.

[51:10]

In other words, try out taking a break from grasping those interesting thoughts that go by, and try out taking a break from getting rid of those uninteresting thoughts that go by, or those repulsive thoughts, or those thoughts which bother you. See if you can release getting rid of them, and release getting hold of the ones that you think are going to help you. and notice that, you know, it's not so easy to not try to get rid of the ones that are bothering you and not try to grasp the ones you think might be helpful. Be clear in the instruction of not grasping what you think might be helpful. So can you tell me the reason why I might be suggesting to you not to grasp helpful things that are in your mind?

[52:15]

Is there a reason I'm suggesting that to you? Is that clear? Gabriella, is it clear? Huh? It's what? Oh, Christa, you're Gabriella. Christa, is it clear? Yes. It's the point that you don't understand it in logical ways. Right, I'm suggesting that, but I'm also now asking you a question. And without grasping what I'm saying, maybe you can answer the question. The question is, do you have some sense, or can you respond to this question? What is the reason why I'm suggesting to you that you don't grasp useful things in your mind? What is the reason I'm suggesting that to you?

[53:18]

To grasp. Right, it's goal-oriented. And why would I suggest that you take a break from goal-oriented activity? Huh? Because it's about the future, right? And why might I suggest you not work with the future, not grasp future things? That's right. And there's another reason Ron suggested you give this a try, which is... Is the answer coming? Okay, that's good. So maybe I'll ask Gabrielle since she's sitting right near you. Do you know why I'm suggesting this? What's my reason? So Christie just said one breath is enough. That's all you need. And if you want more than that, what happens? You know? You're grasping. What happens when you grasp? Yeah, you grasp.

[54:25]

And then after you grasp, what happens when you grasp? Huh? You lose your calm. It disturbs your mind to grasp. So goal-oriented activity, goal-oriented goals are okay as long as you don't grasp them. So when you have goals in this practice, this meditation practice I'm talking about with you. We have goals there. We'd like to learn how to do the meditation. But part of the meditation is to not grasp anything in the mind. In particular, don't grasp the goal of this meditation. That would be antithetical to achieving the goal. Because when you grasp things in your mind, it causes turbulence. Now, the positive way to put it is One thought, the present thought is enough. Positive word, got enough. So that's another aspect of this meditation is, another condition for this meditation to be achieved is a sense of contentment.

[55:32]

You know, like, this is fine. This is, and not fine even, but this is enough. This is what I've got, I'm content with this. Why am I content with this? Because, This is what's given. So a sense of working with what's given goes with not grasping what hasn't yet been given. So again, a kind of strict interpretation of the practice of not stealing is don't reach for the future because it hasn't been given yet. Wait. Wait for the future to be delivered. Don't start dabbling in it before it has arrived. And then it's also saying, thank you very much for a present. I got a present, I'm content with it, and that helps me in my contentment. I'm content not to take the future where it hasn't been given. Now, when I'm not content and I reach for the future, it's part and parcel of, number one, I'm not content already. That's why I'm reaching.

[56:37]

And second of all, once I grasp, I'm even more upset. So, the grasping the future It goes with not being content with the present, but also grasping anything destabilizes. You could also grasp the present. So, okay, I'm content. Yeah, good. And I'm going to grasp my contentment. So then that was a strength. So contentment helps you be present. But then when you're present, even if you've been walking around about it, not grasping the present, because it's going to change. It's again so, okay, I'm not grasping the future. I'm not grasping the goal. I'm just going to grasp what I've got now. That's not going to work either because that's going to change. So don't grasp past your future and don't grasp the present. Don't grasp any other thoughts but your breath and don't grasp your breath.

[57:39]

Don't grasp anything. And don't grasp these instructions to not grasp anything. But still, you hear these instructions. They've had an effect on you. And you're a person now who's heard these instructions, and you've also heard the instruction of how to work with the instructions, namely, don't grasp the instructions. But I'm also asking you, have these instructions sunk deeply into you so that you are now inhabited by the instruction, don't grasp anything? Has it taken effect on you yet? such that you have a little bit of a feeling of not grasping any thoughts, a little confidence that your mind would be like healed, that your mind would be healed through not grasping anything that's available to it. Do you have a feeling of that?

[58:40]

Great. I'm glad I didn't grasp that goal, because I got it. Patty? Sense of dullness, yes. But if you like, if you like, try to remember everything I say, you feel more, more kind of energetic. Yeah. Well, this is similar to what you brought up last week. It's a similar version of the same story about how if you have some value, think something would be good, and you grasp it and you're sure it would be good, you get some energy from that, being sure that this good thing is good.

[60:01]

So, like, you know, if something is good, But if you really grasp it as this is for sure good, then you get some more energy out of it. From that grasping, you get some energy. If you just say, well, it's good, I'm not going to grasp it, then it kind of might go a little bit, I don't know, your commitment might be a little flimsy. I think it's good, but I'm not attached to it. It's attached to it. So again, that's sort of like, as I mentioned, That's like self-righteousness. Self-righteousness has a certain power. Righteousness, in some sense, is hard to say. Righteousness... Put it the other way. Self-righteousness is righteousness on caffeine. It's righteousness juiced up. It's like righteousness plugged into the power system. But this would be good, and then this is good.

[61:03]

It feels good. It feels good to have that extra juice there in that thing. But the dangers in that, though, as I mentioned, if I think it would be good to do such and such for Terry, and then I become sure of that, then when I come to execute it, execute that good deed, even though it's for Terry, Terry might get sort of knocked across the room by the charge on my good deed. Now, if Terry didn't want me to do it, it would really be a problem, because what I want to do for him is not just right or good, but it's something I know is good. And because I know it's good, I've got a lot of energy on it. So if he doesn't want me to do it, it's like... it's not that easy for me to deal with. And it's not that easy for him to deal with me being sure that this thing I'm doing for him is actually absolutely good and for sure good. Because he's not sure it is, and it has to do with him.

[62:07]

So, you know, it's kind of, he'd like a little bit more openness on my part. But I can't be open because I'm attached to this rightness. And also, it's hard for me to be open because if I would open up, around this thing I think is right, I'm going to lose a lot of energy, which I don't want to let go of. That energy is nice. I don't want to be a flimsy do-gooder. I want to be a high-potency do-gooder. And you don't want to be like a flimsy, kind of like, dreamy student of meditation. You want to be like an electric, turned-on, bright student, right? And if you're, like, trying to get each word, there's that energy of that greed makes you, you know, get some juice out of it. Or that energy of that attachment, there's juice in that. But that juice is antithetical to, for example, at the beginning, it's antithetical to calming down.

[63:08]

And also, not only does it cause turbulence to grip onto things you're hearing, but it also, after a while, you get burned out of it too because you're overusing energy. But in this particular case, it's interesting because what we're talking about here is tranquility, and grasping is antithetical to it. So we have to sort of be careful here because we have to let this instruction in, And as part of letting the instruction in, there's probably going to be some grasping of it along the way, because we have not yet learned how to do anything without grasping, so we're going to grasp the instructions. But it's not all bad, because you're getting the instructions, even if you're grasping, you still can get them. What we don't understand is that you can get it without grasping, and that you can speak without grasping, too.

[64:12]

Just like Krista. Is it Krista or Krista? Like Krista said, she doesn't understand what I'm saying. That's what I thought she was saying, but she doesn't need to. She can answer my questions without having grasped what I'm understanding. But she did understand what I was saying, even though maybe I didn't understand what she was saying. Maybe she was telling me that what I was saying is that her grasping it was not the point. She understood that. But it's also possible for you not to understand what I'm talking about, for me to ask you questions and you'd be able to answer them perfectly well without having a sense of, I got what you were talking about. We usually think you've got to get it in order for somebody to ask you what it's about and be able to retrieve it. Just like we also think, believe it or not, some people think that if they don't remember, keep remembering what their address is, they won't be able to tell people they're asked. This is a real kind of significant mental illness, but some people are afraid.

[65:19]

to stop thinking of their address, their name, and so on, because they think if they do, they'll forget them. And it's true, you might forget your name if you don't remember, if you don't keep saying, my name is Rep, my name is Rep. If somebody walks up to you and says, what's your name? You might, if you're saying, my name is Rep, my name is Rep, and somebody says, what's your name? You say, well, right? But if you don't say that all the time, and then somebody asks you, there might be a gap there. Like, what's your name? You might go, well, Rep. There might be some time there between when they ask you and when you answer, because in fact you're not geared up to answer that question. There's only a few things that you can keep in mind that way and be ready to answer. They may say, okay, I'll just pick probably the most important ones and then I'll be ready on those. But you see, that makes you rather inflexible and not ready to adapt to very many situations, plus you're stressed. Whereas actually, the information you have is available to you.

[66:22]

You're not going to get any more until later. You've got everything you know you already know, and if you let go of it, it's going to be more available than if you're holding on to it. That's the principle. When you relax the mind, all everything you know is more accessible and more available. on the average if you took a couple of things to have them be like up around the front all the time then those would be more available in than they would be if you just let go of them but if you hold three things up front even though they're quite available infinite number of other things you know are blocked by that if you let go of those those three might be sort of a little bit more in the background but everything else can come at its right time which might be a different timing than you would like In other words, it might be the right timing rather than the time you think it should be. Sometimes a pause before you answer something might be better than the time you'd like to have, because you're grasping to that.

[67:30]

But it's hard for us to wean ourselves of holding on to things. Isn't it? That's this practice of thought, is to try to wean ourselves from holding on by training our attention towards not holding on. Try to like, pay attention to non-grasping. And also, once again, a big part of paying attention to non-grasping, to learning how to do that, involves noticing what? Right, noticing, grasping. So that's part of the path of realizing not grasping anything, which stabilizes your mind,

[68:33]

and that opens it up to insight. Part of learning that is learning and noticing a lot of moments of grasping. And Patty's noticed, I think, that when there's grasping, there's a lot of energy. And he did that when there isn't grasping, it's less energetic and less bright. But I would say that That's probably the reason why it's a little hard for you maybe to let go because you think you're going to be dull. But you won't be dull. You'll just be temporarily dull compared to being on this stuff, on this gripping stuff. It might not be as exciting as being self-righteous, but it won't stay dull. You'll gradually... and we'll gradually find a way to bring vividness back into the situation. But there might be a temporary kind of like dip in vividness in this practice.

[69:40]

But it doesn't have to stay that way. And I'm a little concerned because next week we're not going to have the class yet, right? Because it's Thanksgiving next week. I'm a little concerned because it's so long until the next class. two weeks instead of one. And so I feel like, you know, in opening this up this way, that, you know, it's kind of a dangerous situation because, you know, you might all just sort of like drift off into dullness and Because I told you, you know, don't grip this, don't put these instructions so like in the next two weeks you might like, heck will be able to remember anything I said, because you're not trying to remember anything, you know. And you're, all these instructions are going to be passed to the wind because you're not gripping them. And the thing I'm really worried about, of course, is that these instructions will be the only thing you're not gripping.

[70:49]

And you'll be gripping other stuff. But if you would forget what I've told you and forget what you learned here, just let go of it all, and then do that with everything, you would be realizing this instruction. So I guess I would say, if you're going to be gripping anything for the next two weeks, if there's anything you're going to be grasping, I would say, if you're going to keep grasping, grasp these instructions first. Grasp these instructions, which are, you know, never let go. Never let your grip up on the instruction, do not grasp anything. If you're going to grasp anything, grasp that. But actually, I'd like you not even to grasp that. Okay? Just don't grasp anything. And see what a life that is. And again, meet everything that comes.

[71:51]

Know everything that comes. not without grasping. Okay? That's the basic thing. That's letting body and mind drop away. And appreciate that all the time without grasping. And without grasping that instruction to appreciate it all the time without grasping. So if you notice yourself grasping anything, then stop that and go back to grasping this instruction, which is stop that grasping So I vow to try to practice that myself for the next two weeks so that, you know, I'll be beaming that intention out to you wherever you are. And I hope you are also beaming it back to the rest of us so we can continue this practice of tranquility by not grasping anything in the mind.

[72:57]

by meeting every situation, every moment with no fixed view of what it is. Okay? Good luck. I hope you come back.

[73:16]

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