Today's January 7th, so this is the third full day of this 21 days. The first two days, we mostly just sat together. I spent time meeting with quite a few people individually. by saying at the beginning of this retreat. How is it? What would you like to express about how it is now? This time?

[01:01]

At the beginning? You feel that kind of wrestling with form? Yeah. In yourself and you sense others are in that process too? I think so. Life seems dramatically simpler. Life seems simpler. Life seems more complicated.

[02:07]

And very emotionally intense. Life seems emotionally intense. Curiously, yeah. Curiously. This morning you found very different from yesterday. By the end of yesterday, I think I would have felt pretty exhausted. It was only day two. Yes, we did. Now it's day three. It feels energetic again. Yesterday evening, you felt exhausted and the day you feel energetic. Many periods of zazen was like, someone said, like climbing a mountain after having been walking on the plains. felt very exhausted and resistant and frightened.

[03:13]

I don't know if I felt frightened. I felt frightened. But today, it feels already fruitful. Resistant and frightened? Yes. Feeling settled in? So suddenly not quite as much activity after a few days. And I also find myself struggling to be every place on time, not being used to, for a while I haven't been in such a strict schedule, so it's not in my body yet.

[04:47]

It's encouraging to hear more advanced students having these problems. Yes. I'm still quite tired of coming in. I'm very appreciative that this is here. Yes. and sort of reconnect the outside world. I feel like I've had this kind of pile of paper chores that I'm trying to do on being a house part. And now it's like I'm trying to kind of put feelers out in the world. And it's sort of like your mouth is trying to sort of get into the house more, you know. And it's been, it's kind of how big. You're putting out feelers in the last few days? Yeah, well, I've been, you know, trying to sort of get more involved in the world again.

[05:59]

Well, in the last few days? Well, yeah, since I left out the heart. And you feel other people are doing the opposite? Well, yeah. great appreciation for this precious opportunity and also tripping over the challenges of the schedule, but it's familiar. I'm familiar with the schedule, so I feel like I will settle. You feel like you will settle? Yeah, it's coming. It's extremely challenging to take care of the garden the way it needs to be taken care of and to be here and do what everybody else does at the same time.

[07:07]

Do you hear her? Any other expressions of how it is at this point? I also feel a little bit at meetings, how much let go of my responsibilities outside of here while I'm here. Did you hear her? Yes. It feels like I'm alone. People who have hair don't.

[08:15]

Enjoying it. Enjoying it. Enjoying myself. Enjoying yourself. And it. And. There is enjoying. There is enjoying happening. I just want to express appreciation of the schedule, the extended periods of life. It makes it easier to feel the work. Could you hear her? Yes. Feeling very appreciative for being able to feel my body. Robbing and doing its thing and being able to really pay attention. Could you hear that? Is there another hand back there? Yes. When I'm witnessing myself, I don't know who is doing it.

[09:39]

And I'm looking at other people around me and I see motion and things are happening in that house. And so it's weird. I cannot stay in the sensation of something. It feels different. people reciting sutras and saying things and it seems to me not meaningless but as if like it's the mind reciting something without something I don't know how to express it but and it's wonderful at the same time So, but, we are residing this new trust then. I don't feel the heart connected to it.

[10:50]

Unless, I mean, if I'm reading it for myself, I need to be quiet, not to certainly be verbally, expressing it externally. So, it seems, and when we stand and we read, I feel like it's something artificial, trying to train itself to be something else. It feels like everything has measured just enough of everything. It started with making Bill Edwards in England, but then the jet lag destroyed everything.

[12:02]

I enjoy it very much here. I find this place wonderful. I'm currently in a funny mood. I hope you don't mind if I'm up all the time. Is Anne sick? I feel I'm in the warm water. You're in deep warm water. It feels good, but it feels weird and increasingly remote from where I started.

[13:37]

Probably a good thing. Did you say you're kind of confused? Some of the things that I've sensed or experienced is that quite a few people made an effort to apply for this practice period and were accepted and dropped out.

[14:43]

And a number of these people were from around, you know, like Australia and England. other faraway places? Huh? Vancouver? Yeah. Anyway, quite a few people who were pretending to come that didn't come. And one person in particular from Australia I've looked forward to meeting because it basically looked, the person looked, didn't say on the application that her name was Helen Mirren, but But there was another person besides Helen Mirren. Meryl Streep. Meryl Streep did come. So you may give to us who she is.

[15:46]

You may see Meryl Streep in the group. So a lot of people, and two people haven't arrived yet. So that's part of what happens. People are coming from around the world and from other continents. So there's that factor, you know, that we have this thing. And then most of the people, the people who are coming in from far away in some ways have a little bit of an advantage because they're so far away they can't be too involved in it and some of the people in Green Gulch have told me that they're having a hard time letting go of outside interests, responsibilities, commitments

[16:51]

friends, things like that. Because fuck the outside is not so far away from them. And so they have some difficulty with all these outside things. And then one person said that actually he's like totally into getting more outside than ever before. But we're not going to get this heretic into trouble. But then even people who are not so much in the literal sense of being involved with things over the mountain, so to speak, or over the ocean, in our own body it's like there's some tendency to like go away from here.

[17:58]

So there's some resistance to settling into really being where you are and partly you want to but partly you say you want to and partly you say you're having a hard time settling into just being there. Partly, you say you're afraid of what will happen if you settle here, if you don't want to ensure these are things which make you feel like you know where you are, which aren't you necessarily, but it's sort of your locator, so your identity. So this is going on, people are starting to settle, and also assisting you. You know it's a great opportunity, and at the same time, you're resisting it.

[18:59]

It's made it bigger to do this thing. You also have to do it. the story of you know i i made a big effort to come to zen center to study the situation and uh and i was uh put myself into zen center and was there all the time and he noticed that i was there because i was there all the time so he gave me a chance to be with him just like i wanted and sometimes they give me a chance to be with him just him and me and i would sometimes just what I wanted. I would often tell him, I appreciate the opportunity, but I didn't want to take him on his time, so I'll be leaving. And he'd say, no, it's okay, you can stay. And I'd say, oh, okay, how can I go down?

[20:02]

So, when we get to the place we've always wanted to be, we sometimes get scared and resist the place that we most want to be, so that's part of what we're trying to like settle with, they're kind of a struggle that we're going through. And I'm representing, I'm kind of like representing stay here. So people come to me and tell me when they feel like they have to physically leave the valley. And they also come to me and tell me when they feel like they're psychically wanna leave the valley. emotionally, not here. So it's difficult for me to, to like, I don't want to like, you know, be rough with people saying, you can't go. So I have to work with that.

[21:03]

And so, yeah, so that's a little struggle, particularly for the people who live here and have Zen-centered responsibilities. So like, in the last two days, the Tanto left Green Gulch, to go to meetings. Actually, she went to a meeting on a day before yesterday, but then turns out the meeting that she thought she was going to have to leave for yesterday was here, so she didn't have to leave. So my, the general thing that I say to people who are kind of residents here at St. Greenville is that, here comes the Tanta now. thing I say to people who live here is to those things which, you know, like, need to be done for the, you know, that really need to be done for somebody else's benefit, that they will be harmed if you don't do, go ahead and do them. And so people are taking children to school and things like that.

[22:11]

And people are doing, you know, town trips to get food and so on. medicine for people here but mostly people are not leaving but it's hard to it's hard for people who live here not to leave which is part of the unusual quality of this retreat is that usually when we have practice periods at green culture even sessions not everybody in green culture is in the practice period or in the session not everybody so particularly during practice period is a there's only like 20 or 30 people out of the 80 in the practice period. 30 people are going to meetings and there's some responsibilities and meetings and so on. That's the special quality of this. And yet the responsibilities are still all around. So this is another struggle. It's balanced that. how to tell whether the going out is a resistance to being here, or really what's totally appropriate to being here.

[23:37]

So I thought I might just read this poem, which I've read to you a number of times before. Seems like an appropriate thing for the beginning of entering into this formal container. Intensive. It's an English translation of a poem called How to Paint the Portrait of a Bird. First painted cage. So we have a cage here. And I'm the official gatekeeper. I'm the cager. First paint a cage with the gate open.

[24:45]

And paint something pretty. something simple something complicated something beautiful something useful for the bird then place the canvas against a tree in a garden in a wood or in a forest hide behind the tree without speaking, without moving. Sometimes the bird comes quickly. But before she can... Oh, excuse me. But she can just as well spend long years before deciding to come. Don't get discouraged.

[25:49]

Wait. For years, if necessary, the swiftness or slowness of the coming of the bird has no rapport with the success of the painting. Some of you may, for some of you, the bird may not come during these three weeks. But we have cage, and the door is open. The bird wants to come. It's not a total waste of time just to be here, waiting for the bird. The bird's alive somewhere. When the bird comes, if she comes, observe the most profound silence. until the bird enters the cage.

[26:54]

And when he enters the cage, gently close the door with a brush. So that's kind of what we're at now. So I go to the bird, and when the bird comes, that comes into the cage, when the bird actually arrives here, gently close the door. And if that can happen, maybe that might be all that can happen, let's practice period. Just get the bird into the cage and see what that's like to have the bird finally in the cage. If there's any time left over, once you have a caged bird, a bird that's really settled, then there's more opportunities.

[28:04]

For example, then paint out the bars of the cage one by one, taking care not to touch any of the feathers of the bird. Then paint a portrait of a tree, choosing the most beautiful branches for the bird. Paint also the green foliage in the wind's freshness and the dust of the sun and the noises of the insects in the summer heat. And then wait for the bird to decide to sing. If the bird doesn't sing, it's not a good sign. It's a bad painting. But if he sings, it's a good sign, a sign that you can sign. So then very gently pull out one of the feathers of the bird and write your name in the corner of the painting.

[29:17]

In English, it's called To Paint the Portrait of a Bird. And the author's name is Jacques Brevert. And this is a translation by Lawrence Berlinghetti. So one of the first ways that I approach to look at this poem is that the first part is like the first part of this time right now, and it's, it seems to be describing tranquility practice. And so yesterday at noon and this morning at morning service, we chanted the first page of chapter eight of the scripture, which is, the scripture elucidating the intention of the Buddhist teaching, it's the Samhini Nirmachana Sutra.

[30:45]

And in that, Richard Chandler, there was a question the first question in this chapter this is the chapter called the questions of Maitreya so this is a chapter where the future Buddha Maitreya Bodhisattva is asking the Buddha he's interviewing the Buddha the Bodhisattva of loving kindness and so he asked the Buddha you know relying on what and abiding in what, does the bodhisattva practice shamatha and vipassana? Shamatha, tranquility, meditation, and vipassana, insight, meditation. So when a bodhisattva is practicing these kinds of meditation, what do they rely on, what do they abide in?

[31:50]

Buddha says the bodhisattvas rely on and abide in an unshakable resolution to attain and surpass complete perfect enlightenment and to expound the teachings. For the welfare of the world. In many of the previous chapters of this scripture, when other bodhisattvas ask questions, after they ask the question, the Buddha says, oh, that was a very good question, very good question. And you ask this question for the welfare, benefit, and so on, of innumerable beings. So it's very good that you ask this question. But this time he doesn't say this to Maitreya. Doesn't say very good.

[32:54]

In this case, it's not necessary to say, but this is a very good question to this Bodhisattva. He just says right away what they abide in. And then Maitreya says that the Buddha, the Bhagavan has taught that there are four things that are objects of observation for bodhisattvas who practice shamatha and the apashana. And the four things are, in this translation of China, conceptual images, non-conceptual images, the limits of phenomena. and the accomplishment of purposes of the four things which are objects of observation for bodhisattvas who practice tranquility and insight.

[34:00]

And I think then Maitreya asked the Buddha, How many of these four objects are the objects of observation of Vipassana? And he says one is the object of Vipassana. The conceptual images. And how many are objects of shamatha, tranquility? And the Buddhist says, one, non-conceptual images. And then he says, how many are objects of both?

[35:12]

And he says, two, the limits of phenomena and accomplishment of purpose. How many of these four objects are the objects when you're practicing tranquility and insight together? And he says, two. the limits of the novel and the accomplishment of purpose. And then... goes on. I'll stop right there and just say that it seems like for many of you that actually that I hear already you telling me what you want, how you want to practice and how you are practicing.

[36:19]

It seems like for many of you, at least in the Zen world, what you're practicing actually is you're practicing trying to study non-conceptual images, which is the kind of images that you look at, that you train your attention towards, in the process of developing tranquility. So, in fact, I think a lot of you are working on developing tranquility. Some of you have asked me, you know, for some instruction on how to practice drink. So perhaps I can do some of that this morning. But I also want to say that

[37:26]

in that page you chanted, it says that the actual state of tranquility is not the same as observing these non-discursive images or observing images non-discursively. The state of tranquility is a state of physical and mental pliancy and ease and flexibility and composure. It's not actually the training in the attention to the non-conceptual image. And so if you're training but haven't yet attained that state, you actually, it's not really, shamatha, it's not really the tranquility. However, it is training which is concordant with, it's an intensive effort which is concordant with tranquility because it comes to fruit as tranquility.

[38:51]

Once you're in a state of tranquility, you can give up, at least temporarily, that type of training. And then from the position of tranquility, you can turn your attention to the second kind of object conceptual type of image, which are the images that insight meditation uses. But also on the first page it says that if you haven't attained the state of tranquility, the state of mental and physical pliancy and ease and so on, if you haven't attained that, and you're looking at a discursive image or a conceptual image, is that insight, is that Vipassana? And the Buddha says, no, it is not. And the next page, on the side, it says, It's like Vipassana, it's like insight work, because in insight work you are looking at discursive images. But if you're looking at discursive images and you're not in a state of tranquility, it's not the same as if you're looking at discursive images in a state of tranquility.

[39:54]

It's not Vipassana. Vipassana, according to this text, is looking at conceptual images, meditating on them in a state of tranquility. I just wanted to make that clear at the beginning with more details, but now I want to shift back to the tranquility side, to talk about what does it mean to be observing a non-conceptual image. Well, first of all, it's kind of almost an oxymoron, I guess, to say non-conceptual image. It's the same as saying a non-conceptual concept. So you're meditating on a concept of non-conceptuality. In fact, that's one other way to put it. But you're meditating on a concept of non-discursive silence.

[40:58]

So you have this concept of non-discursive silence. Do you have a concept like that? Being silent. Like when you hear a sound, being silent with that sound, and not being discursive about it. So that sound, for most of us, is primarily a concept, an image. It's an audio image. Or the sight of the hand. Most strongly, for most of us, it is the image of the hand. So you're training your... In transcluding work, you're training the mind to look at the image quietly with no imagination about the image. Give up your images about the images. Give up your discourse about the image.

[42:01]

Discourse, it means going back and forth or wandering around. So it's to train the attention on whatever images are appearing to you, or whatever concepts are arising to you, to your conceptual cognition, actually. You have the conceptual cognitions of things, and this training is primarily in the realm of conceptual cognition. Training in tranquility is basically in the realm of conceptual cognition, because you're in the realm of conceptual cognition, is where you can hear language and instruction about to train your mind in tranquility. And so the instruction is, and someone said to me, someone said to me that, I think she first said something like, in her meditation lately, just in the first few days here, and before that, she was noticing that her mind is not so busy

[43:05]

When her mind is quiet... Actually, first of all, she said, I noticed my mind is more quiet than usual. It's getting more quiet. And when my mind is quiet, it's almost like nothing. She didn't say almost like nothing. She said, when my mind is quiet, nothing's happening. And so I asked her, well, are there still sounds and sights? Do you still have the sensations of your body? And she said, yes. So I rephrased it as it's like, it's almost like nothing's happening when your mind is quiet. And she said, maybe better to say my mind's not so busy. So I said, again, is it like when your mind's not so busy, it's like nothing's happening? She said, yes. So lots of things happening sometimes seems related to the mind being busy.

[44:07]

And then not being busy seems like not so much is happening. And I wouldn't say really things are happening. I would say more like the appearance of things happening goes on. But it seems not quite as... as active in a quiet, not busy way of mind. And she said, is this a kind of meditation? And I said, yes, it is a kind of, it's like a kind of meditation that you're recording. It's a tranquility. And then she said, but should I be doing something more? Should I be studying something? And I said, well, there is that kind of meditation too, where you're actually, there's something, there is more to meditation than just be quiet. But maybe for you now, it seems like your destiny is that right now it seems natural for you to quiet down, settle down.

[45:19]

And once you're settled, then we may turn to actually looking at some things and thinking about them. So that another way to say it is that Training of tranquility is whatever objects you're knowing, train yourself in giving up thinking about them. If you become, if you attain a state of tranquility, then we can shift to the insight type of work where you look at things and you do think about them. But first of all, it's good for all of us to be able look at, to listen to, to smell, to touch, to taste, to imagine images. Period. To learn to do that. To learn to do it continuously or steadily.

[46:24]

We can learn to do that steadily, fairly steadily. That comes to fruit as the state of tranquility. state of really being settled. So the Chinese characters... This character is what appears on stop signs in Chinese. It means to stop. It's a character they use for tranquility. Stop. Rest. Ease. It means you stop discursive thought. And so all over, you know, billions of people over there, when they're driving around, they come to the stock corner and they enter into it. They give a discursive thought. They step in the brake, they give a discursive thought. And then they turn it back on.

[47:29]

But when they stop, they actually... Most of them don't realize it. stay even longer at the stop sign before you realize. The Chinese translations of this sutra, which we're not chanting, they say, you're speaking these four kinds of objects. The first kind of objects, Objects accompanied by images for reflection. So you're knowing some object and it's accompanied by images to reflect on the object. So those are the kind of objects that you use for insight meditation.

[48:29]

You're looking at, for example, a teaching. It's an object and teaching is accompanied by images so you can reflect on the teaching. The other kind is images or content that's not accompanied by images for reflection. So you look at some content, some object without an image to reflect on it. Of course, you could find an image to reflect on it, but you're kind of giving that up. And another translation is reflections objects which, an object which is reflections of thought, and the other one is objects which are reflections of non-thought. So, like, if you look at some image, some face, some object, can you train your mind to see this image is a reflection of non-thought.

[49:34]

You could say it's a reflection without thought, too. You look at an image without thoughts about it. You look at an image without thinking about it. You look at an image without elaborating it. But another interesting translation is an image which is a reflection of non-thought. So everything you see reminds you of non-thought, non-thought, non-thought. Everything you see reminds you, don't think about it, don't think about it, don't think about it, don't think about it. And then once you're tranquil, insight work is more like the images are now the reflections of thought. Every image you look at is a reflection of thought. This is a reflection of thought. This is a reflection of thought. This is a reflection of thought. And that's very apropos of the sutra, which is teaching us that everything is actually a reflection of thought. That no phenomena is, all phenomena depend on thought.

[50:39]

So all phenomena are actually reflections of thought. That's the insight work, which you'll find on the next page. So... You were going to have me... questions about how to practice tranquility at this time. Well, it's almost, how do you practice tranquility and shikandaza at the same time? Where do those two relate? Or how do they relate? I think that shikandaza is is the actual Shikantaza is where you're practicing tranquility and insight in perfect union.

[51:50]

So that's the... So first of all, how many objects of tranquility? One. How many objects of Hashanah, one. How many objects for both when you're united when you do them together? Two. What are the two? It's the limits of phenomena. In other words, everything that can be known is the objects when they're both practiced together. And also, the accomplishment of the purpose of the Bodhisattva way. So, Shikantazes a Soto Zen term, I think, for when tranquility and insight are in yogic union. However, that doesn't mean that in order to practice yogic union of tranquility and insight, there also has to be some initiation into tranquility. And the initiation of tranquility is not in the same mode as the initiation into insight.

[53:07]

It doesn't mean that when you're practicing tranquility, that shikantata is on its own, but you may not know it's there when you're practicing tranquility. You may not have realized it yet. But there's a certain aspect of just sitting which is very similar to tranquility in the sense that when you're sitting, if you're experiencing the, for example, you know the body that's sitting, and you experience some sensation of your body, or some conceptual cognition of your body, then if you would just not elaborate on that discursively at all, you would be meditating on your body just sitting, without any kind of comment on it, and that would drain your body and mind in tranquility.

[54:09]

The hours of the evening are advancing, but it's not yet time for sleep. The sounds of the stream pierce the ears. The light of the moon enters the eyes. Without One more thought. So that's like the instruction in Akulat. Just hear the sound of the creed, period. Just feel the breath, period. Just see the light, period. No further thought. Another poem by Dougherty says, If you don't give up wandering around in your head, you may miss the body leaping on the vital path of freedom.

[55:27]

So, actually, our body is jumping around in the vital path of freedom all day long. But if you wander around in your head, you may miss this. So a positive way is to say, stop wandering around, and you may discover the body that's leaping on the path of freedom. So those are instructions from Dogen, which are like tranquility instructions, but they're opening on to the realization of Shikantasa. And some people are walking around in states of tranquility. they can think about things from the state of tranquility. They can be discursive, because they're not really wandering around anymore. Their discursive thought isn't really wandering. It's more like examination than penetration, because they're stable and calm.

[56:35]

So there, you have tranquility inside joined, and that's the wrong machine on top, I would say. Any other questions about tranquility in meditation? Yes? Is mind consciousness the sixth sense consciousness? Is it? Is mind consciousness? Yeah. What do you say after that? The sixth sense consciousness. The sixth. Yes. Is it functioning? is functioning. If it was functioning with the five sense consciousness? It always functions with the five sense consciousnesses.

[57:40]

Except in some special transits, those formless absorptions, then the sense consciousnesses are temporarily So it's just the mind consciousness. Mostly, when you have sense consciousness, you have mind consciousness. When you have mind consciousness, it's connected to sense consciousness. They're working together. Is there a difference? The difference in how they work together, I think, would be primarily characterized by the mental factors that are arising with the mind consciousness and the sense consciousnesses. The mental factors that are arising, and one big mental factor that's arising in the state of tranquility, is actually a factor called prasrabdi, prasrabdi, which means it's this

[58:46]

this mental factor, this state of body and mind, actually, it's listed as a mental factor, but it's a state of body and mind, of being flexible and at ease. So when you're in a state of tranquility, the mind consciousness that's operating and the sense consciousness that are operating operate much more fluently and calmly and effectively. And when they're turned towards skillfulness, they operate much more effectively and smoothly and happily. generally speaking, more and more wholesome mental factors are arising with the mind consciousness that's in a state of tranquility. There's more enthusiasm for practicing study and so on, of things which would be helpful to the situation of our life. So those mental factors would color, in a sense, the quality of the mind consciousness, but the mind consciousness is just playing this problem.

[59:50]

And any kinds of delusions that are arising with this mind consciousness due to the... And this is something which some of you are not familiar with, what I'm about to say. So I'm sorry to say this to you, but... Arising with mind consciousness is a phenomenon, a condition that supports the arising of mind consciousness, which is called a mind organ, or the ability of the mind to act as a support to itself, which we call modus. If you want to study this, good luck. Lots of people here can help you with that. But basically, the manas, the mental function which supports mind consciousness, also has this function of projecting a sense of separation between subject and object.

[61:08]

So that basic delusion of self that's projected in the process of normal mind functioning is still there in shamatha. That's why we need also Vipassana. When Vipassana is developed with the tranquility, then we have what you find in the second page of that sutra, which is a realization that everything you're seeing is actually a reflection of mind. But our normal tendency is to think that things are not reflections of mind, that they're out there separate from us. We normally do not see that that no phenomena exist independent of mind. But entering into tranquility does not dislodge this impression by itself. We need teachings from the Buddhas to come into our consciousness to disabuse it, relieve it from the belief in the appearance that things are out there separate from

[62:19]

And that's what it says on the next page. When the Vipassana and the Samatha are joined, and then you practice from that place, you realize that whatever phenomena you're seeing are really conscious construction or cognition only. That's what it says on the next page. But right now, I'm not ready to open that up much. somehow you backed me into that corner by your question. Couldn't get out. So, and that understanding is in the realm of third object, which are the, we were looking at the limits of the limits of phenomena, starting to open to understanding the nature of phenomena.

[63:27]

which is the third object. And then when you completely understand that, which you can find on page 205 of the sutra that we're chanting, then you actually understand the accomplishment of purpose. In other words, then you actually, what you're aware of in your meditation is your awareness. You're aware of the accomplishment of purpose. That's your past complete perfect enlightenment. Yes. Any other questions on Shama? Yes. Well, at the beginning of the sutra, he said that he doesn't say to Maitreya this is a good question because it's a good idea for all things. And so I was wondering how this kind of practice is, is it a bodhisattva practice? It's a bodhisattva practice because it says how do bodhisattvas practice tranquility and insight.

[64:33]

And I mentioned that he doesn't say that because in this case, because of who he's talking to, he doesn't say it this time. He's talking to another Buddha, basically. So he doesn't say, next question, kid. All the other great bodhisattvas, he says, that was a really wonderful question. And this thing about you ask this question for the welfare benefit and blessings of all beings. This is the thing that the Shakyamuni Buddha said to people in early teachings. He said this to people who ask questions and questions. So even to Arhats Buddha said this. Even Arhats asked questions for the welfare benefit and so on of all beings. But he said this to the Bodhisattvas that he realizes they're asking this question not just for themselves but beings, but I noticed that he didn't say this to Maitreya. And does he say it to Avalokiteshvara? No. So the two great these two great celestial bodhisattvas, three great celestial bodhisattvas, in this case he doesn't talk to them that way because everybody knows that's all they ever do.

[65:48]

Everything they do is like that. But to the other bodhisattvas who are Of course, amazing Bodhisattva still talks in a whole way of letting everybody know, including the person who's asking. This person isn't asking this question just for themselves. Matter of fact, they already know the answer. They're just asking it for all of us. But it shifts when you get to my trail. He's totally into the same thing about asking questions. And these are questions for the welfare of the world, but also they're questions particularly for Bodhisattva. This instruction is for Bodhisattva. Some people do not want to do this type of meditation. Of Buddha's disciples. Why? Well, he explains in Chapter 7 that some people are not ready for it because they're afraid of... Huh? What were you going to say?

[66:49]

They're afraid of emptiness, yeah. They're afraid of... is they're afraid of opening to immense suffering of the world. They're not yet ready. They don't feel ready yet to be bodhisattvas. So they don't want to hear this full-scale teaching here. And so part of what's in chapter 7 is that the Buddha taught two other ways before this, which he thought people weren't ready for. Did you have your hand raised? I did. Any questions, Dr. Shama? Anybody want to ask? Yes. So, for Shama Taz, if I'm sitting there on my cushion and just trying to exercise, I'm having a whole discourse about it. If you're sitting on your cushion and what? And I'm trying to practice just hearing the sound. Yes.

[67:49]

What actually is happening is I have this whole discourse of catching myself and stopping myself and really putting things into words. Constantly. I don't know, what is our practice? What is our practice for me noticing sound? Is that a good place to begin? Notice the sound and then notice that I have a whole conversation. Well, noticing sound's a good place to begin if you're hearing sounds. It's a good place to begin. So whenever you hear a sound, that's a good place. Whatever is happening is for them to work with. It's always discursive, I don't know. There's almost always discursive thought around your hearing. Or what I'm feeling. There's discursive thought around your feelings. My body, my emotions, my feelings. So you're aware of the thing

[68:51]

Because you're aware of the objects and you're aware of the elaboration around the object. Yeah. So you're aware of the object, like the sound or whatever. Oh, that's so beautiful. And you're aware of the, oh, that's so beautiful. And the, oh, that's so beautiful is what is kind of the object of your renunciation. That's the object of your renunciation in tranquility practice. Okay. you look at something and you say, oh, that's so beautiful, and you understand, oh, that's what I can give up. That again, that's the whole other thought again. Oh, I should give that up. Well, then you try to learn to feel that way about it, maybe without saying too much. You just go like, oh, that's discursive thought. That discursive thought, that discursive thought. And then there's sometimes, there's a thing of like, without the statement, that discursive thought. Or without even the statement, without even that, there's no discursive thought.

[69:57]

Sometimes it's like this. Actually, here's an example. You see back there by the window, Liz? When you first looked, what was it like? It's like that first moment there, there wasn't much discursive thought. Not the gay person. Yeah, right. So that's what it's like. Before you had a chance to say, that's beautiful, it's on my spot or whatever. So in fact, you do have these little moments there. And so there's an opportunity to perhaps just say, well, as you're doing, I see lots of discursive thought around everything. that I experience on reading into discursive thought. So then, basically, without being dishonest or anything, that's pretty much it.

[71:08]

Well, that pretty much it is not very discursive. That pretty much it can be applied to pretty much everything. So since it applies to pretty much everything, you don't have to say it anymore. So basically, you're in a state of relaxation with being a very discursive being. So discursive thought itself can be another option. So if you don't seem to be able to find, like, seeing raindrop fall in mid-flight, which I just happen to have seen. If you don't seem to be able to do that without elaborating, then you just sort of make that whole big, complicated wad of the raindrop with lots of thoughts about the raindrop, which can happen before it hits the ground, you make that something which you're not discursive.

[72:15]

some level you start to get in touch with what it's like not discourse about something and if your discursive thought is so vivid and turned up so that it zips in there and gets going on everything before you have a chance even to do anything but that then on some level you don't add anything to that And he'd let me out. That was a big, kind of complicated response to the glistening of that light. And that's it. That's all I have to say right now. I mean, I have nothing further to say. I rest my case. Guilty. Okay. and I have no rebuttal. I'm just walking around, guilty limits.

[73:20]

All day long, guilty. Me. The discourse queen. I have no comment on my non-stop, full-throttle discourse. Well, like I said, we're in the process of resistance here. At some level, you find a place where you're not resisting resisting the teaching of training the mind in non-discursive silence.

[74:29]

So there's like... And then there's non-discursive silence with that. And no matter what happens, no matter how noisy it is, there can be a non-discursive silence with the biggest explosion. And then there's another one. And there can be non-discursive silence with that. So it isn't that you have to turn off the noise, although a lot of people find it kind of helps them to get a hang of it by turning off the noise a little bit. So we don't talk in the same time. We don't turn over to our neighbor and I'll blow in the ear. Tickle and stuff like that. Makes it a little easier. But we want to be able to find that way of being with us, training the mind in that way, because it is there all the time. One of the translations is another translation in another part of the chapter that says that you're training your attention to the mind which is always there with whatever's happening.

[75:35]

Because there's basically, no matter what's happening, no matter whether it's a little beep or a little beep with a big commentary in a moment, there's always a mind there which is basically the same. It just knows it, just knows it, just knows it. So you're actually paying attention to this mind which just knows whatever's happening and doesn't make any comments. is the simple mental cognition. The sixth consciousness does not comment on things. I have a confession, which is, I think it's as deep as my identity, and that I love it. And so to give up is to give up what I probably prize most about myself. Yeah, right, that's right. And then the question is whether you can make a deal with yourself to say, well, could I, could I like, we've got this identity well established, pretty well established, is established well enough to take a break for like, you know, five minutes. And you might say, well, I think, you know, let's try, let's see if I like lose my identity and can't find it after five minutes.

[76:45]

If you're not sure, make it one minute. If you're not sure, that one minute long enough, maybe come and see me, and I'll hold your identity for you for one minute. And you can write it down and so on, so to make sure that we get it notarized so we can cover it. And then you can enter into a state of, like, non-discursive silence, and then you forget your identity during that time, which you might. And we can just bring it up and say, remember this? There is some risk. That's part of what you're afraid of. You're afraid that you won't be able to, recover what you've been sort of maintaining all this time if you take a break from the kinds of activities which are kind of like self-maintaining. And discursive thought is basically coming from self-maintenance. That's the space of motivation, usually. But when you're tranquil, it's a little bit different because the tranquilities are rising and you're feeling a little bit more at ease with maybe thinking some thoughts which aren't directly

[77:50]

verified as self-maintaining. Because you feel, although it's risky to go into tranquility, once you're tranquil, you feel in danger to give up your descriptive thoughts. Once you're tranquil, you're kind of like, you're still in danger of losing your identity, losing track of it. Which, of course, ultimately, no one has ever found. We have a standing reward for anybody who finds an identity. I mean, there are identities, but identities are nothing more than words. There's no identity in addition to your middle name. But anyway, identities can never be found, actually. So there is a danger of losing your identity. And that's there all the time. But when your triangle is kind of like, you know and you're approaching tranquility that you might lose your identity and you're approaching tranquility.

[78:59]

In fact, you might lose it. However, you need insight to be convinced through direct perception that nobody can find it. You'll never find it. Because although you don't find it right now, you're in this kind of like fairly healthy form of sedation. So since you're so sedated, it's kind of like Yeah, I can't put my identity, but I feel fine. And that's a lot of people who are afraid of losing their identity do take Valium for that purpose. They're terrified because they're aware that they might lose their identity any moment and not find it so they take medication so they feel more at ease with that possibility. Any other questions about tranquility? Well, you were saying that it's helpful when Xander was very quiet, and I was just thinking yesterday.

[80:07]

It's helpful at the beginning. Later it would be helpful to think that's under-noisy. Well, I was going to say that when there was that Xander in Glastonbury, I had more success with this practice there than anywhere else because I had these images and experiments about putting concepts on them. And I was just feeling yesterday at this end of it was... Do I know what you mean?

[81:18]

I think so So this is a more advanced endo for you. Yeah. Something that I do with my mind that's really confused, and I've seen lots of confusion, is I intentionally try to calm it down by doing some kind of loving kindness meditation. Mm-hmm. Is this a skill for me? Is it a helpful thing? Or should I just somehow try to sit with you? Loving kindness is not limited to being a tranquility gesture, but that is one of the uses of loving kindness, is to calm down and disturb the problem.

[82:19]

So it can be used in... It is used by many people as a way to continue to develop non-discursive silence. So you're confused or whatever, you're confused or you're angry. Usually they don't recommend loving kindness if you're feeling lustful thoughts. Intensify. Not only do I want to... relationship with a person, but I also just really wish them the best. So, you know, I think probably you should really get to get on with this lustful activity as possible. But then you get more kind of excited and less

[83:20]

more discursive, like, where should we go now? And does your husband know about this? These kinds of things. But loving kindness is particularly good if you're in your particular form of confusion. It may be very good for you. But with your neighbor, it might not be good. So that's part of what... And also, if you're calm, or if you're already calm, loving-kindness also continues to be good. But if you're not common, it can be used to help you give up discursive thought. Because it's kind of simple, you know, it simplifies your discursive thought. So for many people, just going into non-discursive thoughts is too abrupt, so they do better if they have a little bit of verbal discourse, which is somewhat simplified, like, for example, the Hart syndrome. If you can just breathe and give up being discursive about your breath, that's simpler than, for example, trying the heart syndrome.

[84:30]

But sometimes if your mind is too gross or too coarse, meditating on your breath may be too subtle. So walking meditation might be better than sitting and being non-discursive about your body. So you can walk and be non-discursive about your walking. So some people, when they're walking, they can be non-discursive about the walking, but they can't be non-discursive about the sitting. Does that make sense? And some people can't be non-discursive about walking so that we have them try to be non-discursive about running. Some people can't be non-discursive about running so we have a tightrope walk. Because then they learn, if I'm at all discursive, I'll fall to my death. fall to the net anyway. So the coarser the mind is the more kind of like coarse the antidote needs to be. And then when the mind comes down, you get more and more subtle antidotes to more and more subtle discourse.

[85:32]

And so the loving kindness meditation is maybe a little bit more coarse at the beginning than, because it's discursive. a little bit discursive. May all beings be happy. May all beings be free of anxiety and fear. May all beings be at ease and buoyant in body and mind. That's discursive, but if you just stop there and don't say, and especially this person next to me, I'd like. So you just, you pick an object and then you have a standard discourse for every object you're looking for. And there's a discourse about the order of the objects, and you consult with your teacher, and then you go back to your teacher and tell your teacher how you're doing. The teacher said, well, you don't do that. Do that. Stop that part. So again, many people need to be... But in a sense, this is always discursive at the beginning because you actually have to choose an object. That's why we're talking now, we're just getting discursive instruction about how to be not discursive.

[86:39]

And so your question is, can I be, could I be this discursive? And I'm discursively saying, yes, you can be that discursive. And then when you're calm with that thing, I might suggest to you, why don't you see it now if you give up that discourse of loving kindness, see if you can also continue that same simple way of being, what's happening. And you might try and say, no, I can't. Continue that longer than you say, now I think, let's try it again. And you try it again, you say, yeah, I don't need it anymore. But you still go back and do it, even though you don't need it. go back and do the loving kindness even though you're already calm so at first but you don't have to so once again as you'll see in the text if you look at it it says that once you attain tranquility you give up that type of attention and switch over to the other kind of attention so once you're tranquil you don't have to continue giving up discursive thought you can pick it up again because the you realize the fruit of settling so once you settle you can give up suddenly meditation and start thinking.

[87:48]

Yes? If you are in a state where you are getting mostly just first impressions of phenomena with that discursive thought, yet all of these impressions are a reflection of thinking because it's a phenomenon. I would say, maybe better to say, more certain to say, all of these are reflections of thought. Of thought. Of mind rather than a reflection of thinking. Sometimes thinking is really attenuated. I meant thought. And it's so simple because our mind is alive. Before I give a discourse on that, I have a new one to say about this point. You were about to give a little discourse about the nature of mind, about being alive and so on. Is there anything else you want to say on this point?

[88:50]

No, I was wondering what is thought. You're wondering what is thought? Yeah. Phenomenal... Wondering what is thought is something... Yeah, so that's a different topic. Finquity is not wondering what is thought. Give up wondering... There is a teaching out there about tranquility, about the absorptions of tranquility, and I never hear anything about it. So I was wondering, is it just because one is not flexible enough, and it goes into those absorptions, and they don't begin to . these four different types of trances and four formless absorptions.

[89:51]

And so you're wondering why we don't talk about them? I think because very few people at Saint-Saint-Saint-Saint-Saint are actually practicing those. And that the first level, coming to the place of tranquility where you could enter into the first trance is sufficient for most of the patients. but in the full range of your development over innumerable lifetimes you probably would study those things and those in some sense more advanced states of concentration than just attaining a what do you call it a legitimate state of tranquility wherein you could develop authentic insight authentic I mean like true understanding can be attained from a state of tranquility, which is not even yet the full state of the first jhana.

[90:59]

Because in the first jhana, when you're in that state, you cannot actually... discursive thought is attenuated. So in those higher states of jhana, you cannot actually be meditated on the teachings. However, once you're in a state of tranquility... Okay, so... In a state of tranquility, you can meditate on these teachings and attain authentic understanding. You don't have to enter into those higher trances in order to attain it. Once you have authentic understanding, then you can go back and deepen your insight, and then deepen your tranquility through these trances, and then your insight will also develop without any further study. But the authentic vipassana can occur in a state of shamatha, which is not even yet the first level of trance. But it's a state of shamatha where you could easily enter into the first level of trance if you wanted to. I don't know if any people could follow that.

[92:00]

How do you enter? How do you enter? Well, basically, once you're tranquil, you basically give up the... There's these two mental factors. which you use to enter into tranquility, called vipassana, excuse me, called vichara. And vichara is the way you apply yourself to the image clearly and sharply. And then the vichara is actually a little bit of discursiveness around it by which you comprehend the object clearly. And then you peel away those... you kind of like take those two mental factors to their limit and then drop away and you enter the trance. However, once they drop away, you can no longer speak or understand verbal instruction.

[93:00]

And in that case, you wouldn't be able to maintain the teachings at that time. So you have to back up from that trance again and re-enter a place where they're operating. Those two mental factors are operating again. were saying about tranquility and thoughts. I'm just thinking about what, I feel like when I'm in an interaction and there's background images going on, background objects moving, people interacting, like somehow I'm not consciously thinking about what's going on in the background, but there's energy that feel affected by. And so I'm just wondering, I guess I'm just wondering, is that possible?

[94:04]

Or is it just that I'm not so conscious about my thoughts about this background stuff? Does that even make any sense? One of the things you said was, is that possible? And what is it that you're referring to by, is that possible? Just that there's... Well, I think it is possible that there's these background images that are going on, and I feel like I'm affected by that, even though there's no actual thinking about what's going on. Yes. Is it possible for such a situation to be occurring, such a question? And so there's... So, as far as tranquility goes, so I'm not having any conscious thoughts about all this stuff.

[95:04]

Excuse me. In a sense, you're having conscious thoughts. But you're not... In what you're describing, it doesn't sound like you're particularly discursive with this material. So that way of being with this material, where you're not being particularly discursive, is a type of mental attention which is conducive to trick moving. And so I guess my question is, can it be that it's... Because I'm not having... Well, I think I'm not having discursive thoughts about it. But if it's kind of like... If you think you're not having discursive thoughts about it, that's a discursive thought. At the time, no, I don't think I am. But now, looking back, you think you are. Right, maybe. You think maybe you were kind of giving up discursive thought, as you imagine that.

[96:07]

I'm just wondering if the images somehow can come in and cause... non-tranquil states because they're bizarre and sometimes disturbing. You're wondering if images can come in and be and cause non-tranquil states? Let's say you're in a war. Well, we're in a war every day in a way, so we're interacting and there's battles going on in the peripheral. So do you feel You feel in the periphery, in your periphery of your awareness. You feel images. And you're asking, if those images arise or come in to your awareness, can they cause a non-tranquil state? Right. The answer is yes. And that's basically what non-tranquil states are, is when images come in and they are conditions for non-tranquility because we get involved with them.

[97:12]

And we start tying them together and seeing relationships between them. Okay? And being involved in those relationships and running back and forth among all that. And to do that and be kind of caught up in that is a state of agitation. But what if we're not even getting caught up in it? It's just like... If you're not caught up in it, then you're tranquil. That's what tranquility is. when you're not caught up in it. So they don't sort of... There's no other way for them to enter except to actually be fully conscious. I guess there's times when, you know, the mind is a tricky thing and it can seem like you're not caught up in it, but sort of the battles out there... It seemed like you're not caught up in it, right? And then it might be possible to test you and find out that you are caught up in it.

[98:17]

So that would be part of the practice, too. It would be change the context a little bit to see if you're caught up in whatever context you're in. But if you actually said there's something going on, if I actually went over and did some investigating and saw what arose, it could be that I... get very much caught up in it when I'm actually... Yes, that's possible, but another way to put it is you might find out that you were already caught up and you thought you weren't. That you thought you were calm, but you really weren't. So if you think you're calm, maybe you are. Even if there's lots of stuff going on. And... And you could also be quite discursive about what's going on, but be calm. And if you're calm and you're involved in certain kinds of discursive thought, you can continue to be calm.

[99:21]

As a matter of fact, when you're calm and you start entering into discursive thought again, you'll notice there's a certain way of being discursive that doesn't disturb the calm. And that type of discursive is the type of discursive where it promotes insight. There's another kind of resumption of discursive thought which disturbs the calm fairly quickly. That's probably not skillful discursive thought. That's probably not insightful discursive thought. So if you are calm and then you pick up some teachings about the nature of mind and the nature of phenomena, it's possible that you even become more calm as you become discursive about certain teachings. that you're already calm, you know what it feels like. And then you start being discursive about certain teachings, and you also notice that you're getting calmer. And then you, again, continue to be discursive, get calmer and more insightful.

[100:23]

But if you're calm and you enter into discursive thought about, for example, how bad everybody else is, how stupid they are, how you're much smarter than And if you enter that type of discursive thought, even a fairly calm person will start to become somewhat agitated, probably. Now, if you're super calm, you may have to think some really bad thoughts to disturb your calm. So some people are so calm that they can think the most horrendous thing will continue to be calm for quite a while. But in some ways, the best kind of discursive thought is the kind which actually deepens your calm. If you're not already calm, it's hard to tell that the discursive thought is calming you. Sometimes. But some people, as I mentioned, they notice that certain kinds of discursive thought could feel calmer. At least temporarily. Love and kindness. Yeah. Love and kindness. Or like sewing is a little bit discursive.

[101:30]

Simple kinds of sewing. But because you're going back and forth, you know, in and out and so on. It's a little bit discursive, but relative to the extreme discursiveness that a lot of people are involved in, it's a step way down in discursiveness. It's much more quiet than usual to just be saying, I take refuge in Buddha, I take refuge in Dharma. This kind of discursive thought is a vast reduction in discursive thoughts, so they already start feeling a little bit calmer fairly quickly from reducing it. So it's attenuating, attenuating, attenuating it, down to almost zero. So at first you may have to say to yourself, instructions, you have to have discursive instructions about how to be not discursive. And as you become more calm, in some sense, the discursiveness that you're using to reduce your discursiveness, you're trading in extreme discursiveness for attenuated discursiveness, for attenuated, attenuated discursiveness. You trade it in

[102:32]

straight down, down, down, until you have almost no discursive thought. And then that's the place where people say, like, there's no thinking going on. But there's still maybe, still a sense that something's happening. And so we don't have full insight because we still think that there's birth and death and so on, but we're down to, like, very, very attenuated discursive thought. And when we stay there for a while, we sometimes come to the experience of feeling very calm and relaxed and really having lots of enthusiasm for all kinds of wholesome activities that might be offered. We might have an opportunity to do. So we feel, now we can turn the descriptive thought up a little bit and see what kind of descriptive thought goes with this feeling of composure and ease and even deepens it, but at least doesn't disturb it too much and Even disturbing a little bit might be okay. Because sometimes the trade-off is like, we're very calm here, and we do certain kinds of study, it's slightly agitating, but it's so helpful to do this study that I'm willing to do it.

[103:42]

It doesn't completely erode the tranquility. But, you know, like listening to somebody suffering or something, a little bit disturbing, but also feel like I think it would be helpful if I listen to this person's story about their misery. It seems to be helpful to them, willing to do it. But sometimes you might even feel calm, and somebody comes to you to tell you and share their suffering with you, and you listen to it, and you might even be calmer. But you're being a little discursive, because you can understand what they're saying. This happened, and then that happened, and then like that, there's some discursive activity going on there. Otherwise, you wouldn't be able to understand what they're saying. But you're calm with it, and you can get calmer, maybe. And that can happen. But you can also be a little bit more educated and still feel like that. It's okay to listen to this. I think it's good. I still think this is really good to do. I'm happy to do this. Does that make sense?

[104:42]

Does Kitchen Bach get to the project? No, that's an exception. And so there's one big... a big topic, which I think I can say quickly, and that is, please look at this very deep question of what is your commitment for this, now it's not even three weeks anymore. What is your commitment for the next 19 days or 18 days? What's your intention? Maybe I shouldn't even say for the next 18 days, but I just said, what's your intention for today? What's your intention for the rest of the practice period? What's your vow? What's your commitment? What's your responsibility here in this situation here? I'd just ask you to look at the question if you have a moment.

[105:47]

And you can answer. I'd be happy to hear what you find. If you don't, I kind of suggest you might look again now and then. What is your intention here? And if you find your intention, do you wish to commit to someone, make some commitment to it? Yes? Could you really clarify for me the difference between having intention and having a gaining idea? Having intention and having a gaining idea? Well, I might have the intention to be kind, to be touched, or respond kindly to everyone, but I might not see that as a gain. As a matter of fact, right now, I kind of don't see it as a game to be kind to people. It's something I kind of would like to be kind. Now I could get into how it could be a game.

[106:50]

If I'm kind to people, then I might become famous. I might become rich. I might become popular. People might be nicer to me. It might be good for my health. It might reduce stress. I could get into that. But when I just first think, well, I'd like to be kind, I could stop there and not think of it as a game. Possible. But if I did see it as a game, I'd say, well, okay, I still have that intention, and I wish to commit to that. I still have it, even though I notice that I see this, looking at it in terms of games, it's there a lot. But you see, well, that's part of what I have to be kind about, is that I'm I'm a human being, and I often interpret what's going on in terms of what I get out of it. But maybe I could, at least, maybe, before I get too deep, I just superficially would like to be kind to someone. Maybe that, you know, and then I have to commit to that before I get into, like, any kind of, like, getting something for me out of the deal here in the neighborhood.

[108:03]

So maybe I might commit to that before I find out how kind of like devious and tricky and sneaky I am about that. And then after I commit to it, I find out, oh geez, I'm just trying to get something out of that. I already put myself in a cage, being kind. And now I have to deal with any kind of impure attitude I have towards that purpose. Okay? Yes? I don't know. I hesitate to say what the bird is, but in some sense I would say it's your mind. It's your heart. And if you can put your mind into the cage and close the door, you know, you may, you know, you don't, We don't want to push the bird in there, roughly.

[109:06]

We want to let the bird come in voluntarily. We don't want to force people into this training, right? But we want to open the door and put something pretty inside, you know, like nice green galt, get the ocean nearby, you know, get vegetarian food, nice people, you know, California. So we want to encourage people into the cage, and then we want... to have the person close the door once they enter. Then, once they're in, maybe they start, how did I get in here? But little by little, they settle down. So the first part is get the mind into some container where it can feel like it's running around, and then it settles. So I think you could say the bird is the mind, which is all over the place, but we want to, like, We want to train the mind to enter into the cage voluntarily so that after it voluntarily, you know voluntarily, enters the cage, then it says, well, nobody forced me in here, and yet I came in here because I wanted to, but now I'm trying to get out.

[110:20]

I came to the place I really wanted to be for one hour or three weeks. I really wanted to be here, and now I really want to go away. So, you know, you struggle with that. As you said, struggle. And then maybe you settle down. And when you settle down, then you can paint the page away. And you realize there really is no container here. There is no actual forms. But first of all, we have to put ourselves inside before we can paint them away. So the mind has to sort of like settle before it can realize that the place it's settling can never be found. Or the heart has to settle before the heart can realize that there can be life without actually being able to get a hold of anything. We can live with that. But we have to sort of like volunteer for this course. Now you have volunteered, now you're trying to get out. But you might not be able to for a few, for 19 more days.

[111:25]

You might not be able to get out. But then after that, you'll be able to get out. And maybe before you get out, The whole thing will disappear. And you won't be tricked anymore by any limitation. And then you can sign. Thank you. I wrote the character wrong. That's it. That's great. Thank you. If you do this like this, you put a hat on it, it means true.

[112:34]

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