Transiency

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Serial: 
BZ-02585
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Day 3

 

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good you want him
and i have like three things going on here
my glasses my hearing aids and this thing
i'm trying to fit behind my ear
the

this is caught by region
do
a chip the fl up here
dear
well
i love
how's that
that's good okay
thank you
so last night when i came in zendo for and two and a
our evening
i got to just about where raghav is
and my legs felt robbery or you know like i couldn't i don't didn't feel like i could keep going with them there was very a sudden suddenly and so then i sat down at the time then
disha shifted and i gotta happen with continued nicole okay so that i just wanted to let you know that i'm okay i think
so far and i don't know exactly what had happened
but my guess is that
i know i wanna go on about it but my guess is that
i've been sitting in my chair doing docusign and doing a lot of sitting in that chair and they had a new cushion which is very stiff
and because it felt like that question was
the impression and my back of my leg appeared
my upper thigh with with it was pushing give me what and it was can offend him
i'm feeling
so that he was cutting off something like that nuremberg or something so it really feel like a nerve was big blocked and i've felt that before over the years you know it was an oil and truly
the the
there was blocking symphony and and i'm in a it was hard to move so
datalogic also a very tired
i realized that i would very tired i already did a seven-day session about two weeks ago
with a girl runs down he asked me to help to participate with him which i've done before her with it was nice to have a half hour
i'm working in between thousand period
a different the but the way we do it but i'm not sure i like that but then you just a different way of doing things
so
ah here i am and who we are and so to continue

how's that

that
za better
some people say yes i'm usually know it's really hard
good love
i think
yeah so today
i'm going to continue
can i come in and a suzuki roshi talk

my bookmark here
is very oldest book public nineteen seventy seven my beginner's mind
this is original copy it was dull is gonna be actually and she had her it isn't he signed his name in it and it says three dollars seventy five cents
the you might find that amusing
so this is about trenches see is titled trench the
the basic teaching a buddhism is the teaching of transparency or change i remember he urges to say that
ah
no am
the one thing that is
ah
original in buddhism as a bit the basic thing is change
no matter that the only real truth is in vitro to change
that everything changes is the basic truth for each existence no one can deny the truth and all the teaching of buddhism is condensed within it
the us wherever we go is teaching is true that this teaching is also understood as the teaching of selflessness
because each existence is in constant change there is no about himself in fact the self nature of weeks each existence is nothing but change itself and the self nature of olives the self nature while existence there is no special separate
what self nature for with for each existence and this is also called the teaching of nevada
so that's an interesting
people often ask well what is nirvana and we try to think of things to say
ah nirvana is basically a total acceptance of change
you can say other things as well
when we totally accept ah
that everything is constantly changing and accept and flow with a change
with ease and a
a n
joy
that's nirvana
when we don't enjoy it it's suffering
it really that is either you do or you don't and either you have freedom or you have separate
the freedom is called nirvana and the separate and not ended an inability to go with the change is called suffering

so
when we realize the everlasting truth of everything changes
and find ourselves or our composure in it we find ourselves in nevada
so superior she's always talking about composure you'd always find your composure and never lose your composure that was one of his basic teachings maybe his most basic teaching
i'm
to flow with the changes
ah so
and ah
over that we call freedom freedom is to flow with everything as it manifests
how something arises and simply a the rising and falling away
rising and falling away of everything moment after moment that the input a diamond the abbey damaged
m
think they have the right and number if the whole city or abby damage that maybe they had the right number of changes that happen in a minimum many second
have entered it but that the and lab numbers you know they really loved them so they have enormous numbers for
that are metaphors for distances
and time and space
and it that maybe six hundred thousand i don't know the number is it's an enormous number of
moments in i'm in a moment
many moments within a moment six hundred thousand or something like that so and probably the right you know it and the number they have is simply a large number to indicate that there's large number
so it's really uncountable how many moments that i've changed there aren't any moment
because there's nothing but change
and we we tend to think the things are some other didn't steal and we look for solid solidity and stability
but we have to find our solidity instability in each moment it's it's not guaranteed
so that's our task that's a basic task and they are like to say
gravity is pulling everything down to it and a unethical spirit or energy or ma'am
ah
inherent motivational energy is he's pulling us away from gravity and so how we work with the chain that the disgrace changes continual changes
we live in a world of a gravitational ball and we always
finding our balance with it
ah so our task is to always find
our stability in an ever changing environment
and so it whatever we do is determined by that and some way
so if we want our freedom
if not somewhat intense in bodhidharma freedom is not so much the freedom to do whatever you want is the freedom it's it's the ability to be free of being cut
by change
that that's freedom to the ability to be free from being
a victim of change
so without accepting this fact that everything changes
we can't find perfect composure
but unfortunately
although it is true it is difficult for us to accept it because we can't accept the truth of trenchantly you suffer
so the cause of suffering is or non-acceptance of this truth
the teaching of the cause of suffering and the teaching that everything changes are thus two sides of one coin
subjectively chancy is the cause of suffering
objectively this teaching you simply the basic crews that everything changes so yes these are the two sides as a we talked about yesterday
subjectively we have our ideas and her her desires about how we want to live
an objectively things has happened the way they happen
so we rail against the deities
speak outcome you're so mean to be but things just happen the way to happen and we accept things are dumb to where they happen
so sometimes we think that ah
if we just flow with the way things go
that's weakness
and so and we feel that by exerting ourselves in opposition his strength
let's sometimes just one way or the other but actually strength is in
but sometimes a weakness is really strength and strange sometimes weakness
i'm insecure she talks about this to about
sometimes what we think is weakness is really strange and what we think and streak is really weakness
we think of a war and strength and peace as weakness but actually piece is strength and ward with all its effort is weakness

so
isn't this teaching is simply the basic truth that everything changes
doug and then she said teaching which does not sound as if it is forcing something i knew is not true teachings
teaching which seems like it's forcing simply i you is not true teaching

you know what we say that a buddha is an obstacle
but is an obstacle
we think that buddha is kind and wonderful which is true
ah
but if the buddha doesn't accord with our idea of what we like
then requested whether buddha stewardess
so truth is is an obstacle to ourselves because our wishes and our desires are not necessarily reality
so because we live in an indicator of delusion
ah movie come up against buddha buddha tells the things that we don't like to hear
in our practice
the practice is open and welcoming kind of welcoming
but not necessarily
i remember when we first started to practice with suzuki roshi a hit at the so gg i'm in psychology and even a patriot
there was a kind of
people would enter the practice but there's always a kind of aloofness
and people they a as instance are really called you know the no word to them
because when you enter the practice
you have to find your way
it's not welcoming with open arms is welcome in
but that would open office
we don't have that we don't embrace you because we don't want to fool you into thinking that you're entering simply wonderful
true this not this not some easy kind of you know
a lovey lovey-dovey practice it's a practice that
challenge you your your understanding your opinions and your understanding of who you are and where you are and what the truth is so you come up against yourself
cause good is not doing anything to hurt you you just simply come up against your own resistances and your own delusions about who you are and what you want
so boot is an obstacle
when when you
ah
i enter into the practice
and you find yourself challenged does not boot a challenging course it's just reality and since buddha is reality reality is an obstacle
reality is an obstacle so we do a lot of studying and we think we understand what buddhism buddhism is
but when you come up against the practice it's a different story
another the questions in a minute
it's a different story when you come up against an obstacle when you come up against the practice practice is an obstacle you sit in the middle
obsession
and your legs i heard a to say
how'd i get into this
there's always the a day or moment when you say how'd they get into this i want to go home
this so practice is an obstacle
but it is an obstacle so we have to take except the challenge of buddha and find our way how do we deal with this problem
john

yeah that's the obstacle basically
if herself
should practice looks like at the a a tall silver mountain which you can can clap is typical to climb up it's a assured and here
an obstacle but it's really only a piece of paper and you could walk through it if you understood how to do it
it looks it when you when you are facing you your ego it looks like a thousand foot cliff
and a high mountain and when you let go you you can actually just walk through it
the hard part is how we let go because we're so dependent on her self-centeredness in our ego and are a misunderstanding partiality
that when we come up against the reality of ah
we either go through it oh we kind of slip after the said go away
that's the challenge is a l
the penultimate challenge is when
you face that place where you can't continue and you can not continue
that's when you get than the question is whether you do
that's the on a i live
we have all these guns that demonstrate for us that that problem
the problem of the self
and we studied discounts and maybe even pass this costs and but ah
the real co on the to cry that all the collins or about is what you do when you face the place where you can continue and you can't go away

so sometimes we go away and then we come back and then we
get to that place and we go away and we come back and that's normal fairly normal
but look because you enter the practice once you can never leave it even though you go thousand miles away
you can't you can't leave it because you always have the problem
and a going away doesn't help
so objectively this teaching is simply the basic truth that everything changes and dog as a teaching which is not set the teaching which is not sound as if it is forcing something on you is that true teaching
the teaching itself is true and in itself does not force anything upon you are on us but because of our human tendency we receive the teaching is that something was being forced on us but whether we feel good or bad about it this truth exists if nothing exists
then this truth doesn't exist but buddhism exists because each particular existence
sometimes we say that your teacher is your enemy
we'd like to think that our teachers are frightened but you did your is a friend
and you bet your music will my teacher is my enemy because my teacher doesn't understand me
when you say my teacher doesn't understand me that maybe so but probably not
i'm
because
we don't want to see ourselves we we say the teacher doesn't see me but it's me that didn't see myself
ah
so teaches an obstacle
and teacher isn't necessarily a teacher you know in as usual sense of the word
what with a teaches in know teach
like a mathematics or physics or something like that does not what the teacher is in zen teachers simply someone who blackshear waves
someone who stands in the way
ah so you know sometimes you have to argue either teacher sometimes you hate your teachers sometimes you love your teacher whatever but the teacher doesn't have all those relate or if a teacher has feelings they don't they
don't the teachers not hang on to help teacher feels about you
it's not about that at all
it's just about either something works or doesn't
that's all
either works or doesn't
and then the gate works or doesn't
and the teacher
is a had just have to be somewhere
just happens to be in your way

so ah

and it's really important for a teacher not to get caught by liking and disliking a student
or to complain about the student's behavior in a way that you're attached you have to complain about the you know this behavior that behavior but nevertheless you not attached to your feelings about it and at any moment
you ready to see when the student changes
your cease immediately when it's will a student is changed has some kind of transformation he noticed right away
because the teachers always tracking the student but is not interfering or is judged not judgmental
people don't understand that are always
so sometimes the teachers your friend sometimes a teacher is
duluth or seemed disinterested or whatever
maybe angry but the anchor is simply
momentary it's not
ah a grudge student teacher she's never have a grudge against the sin
cause a student the teachers always ready
to acknowledge student
one way or another
so the teacher can you can see the teacher as your enemy
because is not accepting what you say
not acknowledging you as you want to be acknowledged
we all want a big knowledge you won't wear way or another
but when the teacher is is the seventy must be wrong with a teacher because he's not acknowledging me
so
i'm josh you said
oh one time
you can it's okay few slobber all over me i added it the fire of me at am i don't mind so much

so
the keep them the the teaching itself is true and in itself does not force anything upon you upon us but because of our human tendency we receive the teaching is if something was being forced on us but whether we feel good about it or bad about it this truth exists if nothing
exists this truth is that exist yeah peter's really exists when there's something there buddhism exist because of each particular existence we should find perfect existence through imperfect existence
we should find perfection and imperfection
i'm
suzuki roshi gave this example
ah ah
do we think of of zen masters being some perfect person who does everything perfectly
like drawing a straight line
without a ruler i can do that but that's not that doesn't mean anything to eat
sensibility i was taught how to pay a straight line by may
a contractor
be paid straight line without using tape but this is the some skill right
didn't mean much but it should when a child draws a line is not a we don't see it as perfect it is just the line and it's so pure because he's not trying to do anything except express himself in a very pure way that's perfection
the child scribble is perfection
oh ability to strike late draw a straight line not necessarily perfection is just a straight line but the child told being is in the this crooked line
which is perfection within so-called imperfection
so sometimes
trying to be perfect is not then
i'm
as someone you know who can sit
a perfectly still
full lotus straight back over
we admire that michelle avoid if i could only do that you know on alert
looks perfect but someone who just struggling to walk in the zendo
and making every effort
the even until they have big problems
ah is
if we ordinarily would think of that is imperfection but their effort and there at the quality of their activity
is so total and a
ah
complete
that's perfection
within the imperfection to the imperfection doesn't hinder the perfection
the imperfection is
we live in an imperfect world is trying very hard to to do it has to do
it's an imperfect world but it's totally perfect everything is perfect as it is
so we can't improve on it
however at tassajara someone said both physically russia would you like to make it a a zen garden here
and he said
this place is perfect as it is it's the perfect zen garden why should i ruin it with my ideas
so is that we should find perfect existence through imperfect existence we should find perfection and imperfection for us complete perfection is not different from imperfection
the external a turtle exists because of an an eternal existence
in buddhism is the heretical view he likes to use that word heretical i think he is it's a little too strong but he uses it the eternal the
what am i the it that the in buddhism is a heretical view to expect something outside of his world so
what to expect something else at this world made this where we exist and this is where we should find out or true being
ah
there are various
practices
where people think this world is imperfect so there must be a perfect world outside of this world
called heaven
heavenly place outside of this world where god exists
and so this is the forsaken world or something like that so he said
i'm
it's a heretical view to expect something outside of this world we do not think seek for something outside of a where we are our says ourselves
we should find the truth in this world through our difficulties and through are suffering
so
rather then
ah putting off trying to make this a a to find our truth here
people say well in the next world will find our truth will will be comfortable but how do you find it in this world how do you find yourself in this world so this is the the this is called religious practice
without a deity without anything supporting you how do you find your way and it a perfect way in this world
it's not that nothing is supporting you
but as as a because everything is supporting us everything is supporting it would took everything is interdependent and supporting us that's called emptiness so in this world of emptiness where nothing is permanent and everything is changing
and everything is supporting everything else how do you find your way how do we find my way and and the highway and limit the way for everyone because whatever i do affects everyone else and whatever anyone else doesn't fix me
i'm so we should find the truth in this world through our difficulties in through our suffering so he should have difficulties and suffering or equipment
there are tools for finding a way

if we don't have any
a difficult to your suffering
that's either die mit or enlightenment
a
sosa america can go through the whole you know the whole thing up to one hundred years old and never have any problems but that might be like my by don't think so
that can't happen it doesn't happen although some people happier than others and through various circumstances and their ability to deal with circumstances some people are more capable than others from the beginning but still
we should value are suffering we should find our happiness through are suffering with a person in her hood and a lot of suffering physically or whatever and can smile and see their suffering
as it is an
ah be somewhat light hearted about it is a kind of enlightenment
ah
it when we accept are suffering as oppression we have problem
the all we can find our freedom in are suffering that's enlightenment
not to get rid of are suffering but use are suffering to find our way

so we should find the truth of this world through our difficulties in through our suffering this is the basic teaching of buddhism even though
ah
the
buddha is reported to have reported to have said i only teach suffering and the and the freedom from suffering
that's all i did
so this is a basic teaching a buddhism pleasure is not different from difficulty good is that different from bad bad as good and good as bad they are two sides of one coin
so enlightenment should be in practice
that is the right understanding of practice and the right understanding of our life so to find pleasure in suffering is the only way to accept the truth a and see
you may say i don't believe it
and you must they must be a different way
that the obstacle of the dharma
if we think that

so without realizing how to accept as truth you cannot live in this world
even though you try to escape from it your effort will be in vain
if you think there is some other way to accept the eternal truth that everything changes that is your delusion
this is the basic teaching you how to live in this world and whatever you may feel about it you have to accept it you have to make this kind of effort
a member master hua
that was he was called to learn before he established himself in
ah in san francisco and or and city of ten thousand buddhas than he became master hua but he was stolen when i do him
but he he had a very nice thing that he printed of he said everything is a test to see what you'll do
everything that you face is a test to see what you will do
test you freedom test your anger test year
intentions and your understanding
ah
ah
and to test your understanding of a cruel world cruel world means the objective side as opposed to the subject of side
the objective side just as what it does regardless of who you are or what you would like
things just are they are the way they are fruit
because the various causes and conditions and a subject inside is i like it i don't like it
so until it becomes strong enough to accept difficulty as pleasure
we have to continue this effort
actually if you become honest enough or straightforward and have it is not so difficult to accept as truth you can change your way of thinking of a little bit it is difficult but this difficulty will not always be the same
sometimes you will be difficult and sometimes it will not be difficult if you're suffering if you are suffering you will have some pleasure in the teaching that everything changes
when you are in trouble it is quite easy to accept the teaching so why not accepted at other times
you know we can say this toolpath where we are talking about the political situation
we think that was that the world as it is coming to an end
but this too will pass
so we have to have big big mind to encompass
the fact that everything is changing and will change and will not remain the same and a pendulum is always swinging back and forth
we take over he's gonna go this way now it's great that boom and are things the other way with the oh my god terrible everything changes come back again
that's a big view we have to be able to
exist in the big view as well as the small view this estero thoughtful and or it's really great
at the big view is everything will change and we have to have enormous patients
enormous patients
it's like sassine session is big patients enormous patients it will change
we do and prepared as i said and it's excruciating and we do some kid head that we come back said again and it easy wonderful and then it just kind of you never know if you say all all it's gonna be this way again then you are causing trouble for yourself but if you
simply say this is the way it is now moment to moment if you just on each moment just practicing breath and posture and letting go of thoughts moment by moment when the other be one moment at a time when breath
at a time
so
in that way
we have some freedom from suffering
because when i caught by our own mind
so
when you are in trouble it's quite easy to accept a teaching so why not accepted at other times it is the same thing sometimes you may laugh at yourself discovering how selfish you are
you bet when he says selfish he means self centered
but he likes to that's good to use the word selfish because you i'm not something i may be self centered but i'm not selfish
this way i thought when we were sitting in doesn't wear diamonds and you you don't know how selfish you are and i thought
well i may be self centered but i i don't think i'm selfish
but that was something i had a kind of go on for me
but no matter how you feel about this teaching it is very important for you to change your way of thinking and accept the truth of trenchantly so it's interesting when he says
until we become strong enough to accept the difficulty as pleasure we have to continue to several self masochistic
you know i'll just make myself painful so i can think of it is pleasure that's not that doesn't that's not it
ah painful comes and asked for
and ah
the how we respond to life is practice
you know without the difficulty there's nothing to respond to
james james you might say

really sounds to me that's the opposite

eight

why i
why not
ha
it said
hello
like
well it's good question
yes
i'm
ah
when dogan when to china hear this question if everybody has the buddha nature
why should we have to do anything
there was just go on
if everybody had had if if everybody has the buddha-nature why do we have to do anything is that that indirectly address your question
it's like if if if bum we just accept
everything and put why do we have to do anything well if you really do except everything as it changes
then
ah it doesn't mean
you can accept
while the things you want to do
if you know how to ride the wave
you don't have to do anything that will cause suffering

yeah
yeah

ah

you know are built so call used to say and kpfa back in the fifties
if you don't like the news gotten mixed up your own
he's a better present day after a pack
he he ended his back program so
you know i'll give you an example i'm that while i'm not tooting my own horn but i say if you weren't you can go to as many
programs to learn about all this is you want but it won't do you any good
unless you do something
yourself
when ah my example which will be the of my dog is i gave a talk of green gulch last sunday i think it was last sunday
and there was when i got out of the zendo there was a little afro boy sitting there are the steps but his hadn't felt like this and i just went over to him and i said you okay
he said well eg make a sad little stomach ache
and i said well
ah when he doing here how'd you get here
and he said well i came with my class
and i said oh well would you like some tea
and he probably never drank tea daily he said okay i should you want something to eat a hungry and he said
no i said well i'm gonna go over to the to the a dining room because it is raining so the meeting within the dining room afterward
and so i came down and i took him over to learn your room and then he was filled with people and i take him over and as some hear somebody give him some tea and stuff and i can guide him through this thing and he said would you like me to get my class
last let it here so he went over negative five people they're not a class exactly the kind of like a group of people from sixty the fifteen about five or six of them and it was an interesting bunch appeal because everywhere in and was different
the asian girl and he was black and and the other guy was an old musician and
ah to then he started asking questions or i should they have any questions and they are gave me some questions and then
he started asking me questions that he wanted to write down in a book he started coming to life actually he was i like what i saw him he was
really morose and sitting on a steps he didn't know what to do and by the by the time we see start asking questions he started writing down my answers and he started getting more and more interested and ah
the older guy who was kind of the leader said well
let him answer the questions in this little handheld thing you know that we use
when he called era
the held hell how do we could cut you know i don't have much i'm not familiar with it but
yeah and then at i said no i want to talk to the kid himself i don't want to tuck into the machine so that he could write down the answers afterward
i want to talk to him so he could heal i can have
ah that the interaction between us and the interaction of him asking questions and be answering him he'd just get brighter and brighter and brighter
then they'll have to leave and when i lived he gave me a big hug that was
so wonderful it was like
i didn't have to go to a class to learn all this i just put my heart out for this kid
hell
ah he responded and they wanted to come back to the the if they're from oakland and the leader said you know i'm a musician a week will come back and play for you guys
so this kind of tests
interaction between people
i'm said
take some are just response him to each other that's what makes things happen
and we make all these you know
yeah
hum
ah intellectual ideas about how to make things happen if it doesn't work
but when you actually engaged people one but one at a time things work
does the end of my dog
the truth of trenchantly

once
richard baker asked me what where did you where did you get your education
and i said as a taxi driver
you meet people one one at a time and anything can happen
i rarely recommended