Before I give my talk, I want to just talk a little bit about our serving. When we serve the tans on the floor, I think it's good to go down on your knees and serve from that position rather than standing up when the other people are sitting down. Sometimes we feel that we don't want to go to the trouble of doing something. We just want to get something done. And I think that we have to be careful to go through the trouble of doing something.

[01:02]

even though we want to get something done. So we have two aspects, you know. One is efficiency, and the other is presence, or just doing, or taking care of. And in our busy world, we try to narrow everything down to efficiency, which is okay. Efficiency is important. You know, we cut off all the decorations from the buildings and we have blocks. It's true. In the 20s, up until the Second World War, people thought about how things looked, you know, and how actually went into our buildings and expressed, there was some expression.

[02:11]

And after the war, efficiency, which was developed during the war, actually became the mode. And it has its good aspect, you know, when the tree gets heavy, you have to prune it. And so in that respect, very good. And now, you know, decoration's coming back, but there's no mythology in it. So it just looks like strawberry crates. You know these little strawberry baskets? If you look at the downtown architecture of Berkeley, it looks like these little green strawberry baskets are put on top of all the buildings. And everybody thinks that's great architecture. But it doesn't express anything except arbitrariness. And it's a kind of fundamental, actually, it expresses a kind of fundamental structure.

[03:16]

But there are lots of fundamental structures that express our mythology. But we no longer have a mythology. It's a problem. The common mythology that we can have faith in, or expresses our faith. So it's a kind of jumble. But anyway, efficiency is important. We want to get something done, naturally. That's good. But the other side is to take the time to do something, regardless of whether it's efficient or not. This is an important part of our practice. So the balance, you know, how you serve someone carefully and for no particular reason. And how you take the time to do something.

[04:22]

You know, efficiency is to load up your arms with as much as you can carry and take it from one place to another. But practice is to pick up one thing and take it over and put it down, and then go back and take up another thing, and pick it up, take it over. And in the handling of this thing, and in the moving, and in the putting it down, practice is just doing something, regardless of the efficiency. It's easier, it's more efficient to take three things over, but it's more mindful and careful to take one thing at a time. So sometimes... But we get into that mode, you know, we can't help getting into the efficiency mode because we live in it, we're immersed in it.

[05:25]

But it's... It's a good idea, you know, to stop the efficiency mode and just be efficient with one thing. Totally efficient with one thing. When we try to carry too much, in the name of efficiency, we're really not being efficient with anything. It's total inefficiency in the name of efficiency. To carry one thing at a time and do one thing carefully mindfully, even though you have to walk back and forth six times, is total efficiency with mindfulness. So in that spirit, I would like us to do this stuff. So when we serve the middle tone on the floor, You can go down on one knee, that's okay, if your knees hurt, you know, or if you... whatever, but the main thing, you know, is to maintain your balance.

[06:38]

Always maintain your balance in whatever you're doing. Always find your center of gravity in whatever you're doing. So Zazen is, moment by moment, finding your center of gravity. And when you move with pots and pans, you're always finding your center of gravity. And when you serve someone, you're aware of your center of gravity. When you serve someone in the middle time, you go down on both knees. If you just squat, you're in a very vulnerable position. Somebody could go push you right over. No one will do that. But you could lose your balance. It's very vulnerable. It's really unbalanced. It's not a good way to do something.

[07:41]

So practice is like water. Zen practice is the practice of being like water. And it's called clouds and water. Water is always seeking its lowest place, the lowest center of gravity. And then it conforms to whatever shape it meets. It's the practice of zazen and the practice of daily life, taking the lowest place. the most stable position and acting out of the most stable position. You know, completing one act and then doing the next act. Our life looks like a continuous wave, but actually it's this continuous wave is made up of discrete momentary actions.

[08:53]

and we do one action and complete that action. This is what Dogen says, right? Do one action and complete that action. And then we do the next action and complete that action. So, when you're serving, you walk in with the pots, carefully, mindfully. When you walk in a zendo, you should walk on the Not walk on your heels. When you bring the pots up, it's not boom, boom, boom on the floor. You should listen to the sound of your feet. Not on the toes. Not in a delicate way, but in a way where your foot goes down without making a sound. I say on the front of your foot, not on the ball, You know, put your foot down, not the way we usually walk.

[10:01]

Usual walking is to put your heel down first. So this is a little unusual to walk on the front of your foot so that you cushion your body and you don't make any sound and you're aware of not making any sound. And you don't walk too fast and you don't walk too slow. And when you come up to the person, you bow, and that's one complete total act. And then you offer the pot. That's one total act. And then you step back, and you bow. That's one total act. And then you go to the next one, and that's one total act. So often, before we're finished with this one, we're already into this one. That's not. mindful practice. There is a flow, and at the same time, we are concentrated on each moment's activity, and there's a beginning and an end to each act, each discrete act.

[11:17]

So this is how we should practice. And when you pour water with a pot. What we like to do is hold the pot with one hand and a little napkin up at the top of the spout with the other. And then when we start to pour it, we pull it, hand down a little bit, little fingers down a little bit. Sometimes we don't. You know, I always wonder, are you going to burn your fingers? But you never do. But anyway, I would like us to hold that other hand down at the bottom of the spout, because that's where the fulcrum is of the pot. That's where the balance point of the pot is. And when you pour the water, you're holding the balance point of the pot down below the neck.

[12:24]

And you can pour it easily. These teapots don't really drip. They're very good teapots. They don't drip much. So you don't really have to worry about water running down. The main thing is to hold the pot at the bottom of the spout so you can tip it nicely. That's what I would like too. If you want to do it the other way, it's okay. It's just my preference. And I won't think you're a bad Zen student if you do it the other way. But try it out. Somebody said that if I express a strong preference for something, it's too much control. People will want to get on my good side.

[13:27]

Don't do what I say. I hope not. I hope that you can keep your own opinions, your own point of view, without being turned around by what I say. Nevertheless, if you don't... So, in our movement, in our activity, the key is a simile, a well-known simile is riding the waves, pushing the wave, and riding the wave. Driving the wave and riding the wave.

[14:31]

Driving the wave is taking initiative. And riding the wave is allowing something to happen. Allowing yourself to be moved. Allowing... It's like, as Dogen says, turning and being turned. You know, when we... chant and use the Mukugyo, the one who keeps the beat drives the wave, and at the same time follows the wave, rides the wave. So, surfing, you know, is a great simile for Zen practice, for Zazen. When you begin to sit, first begin to sit, it's hard to stay on top of the wave.

[15:39]

As soon as you get up there, you get turned over and inundated with water. Overwhelmed. Flipped over. And then you get back up and you ride the board again, and then you get flipped over again. And over and over until finally, you learn to ride on that wave. Sachine is like driving the wave and riding the wave. You make the effort and then you ride with whatever's there. You ride with the pain in your legs. Instead of being overwhelmed by it, you have to learn how to ride with it.

[16:40]

Otherwise, you get drowned over and over again. So, this is the third day of Sashin, and we should be riding the wave by now. to ride the wave to drive the wave means to be fully present and fully engaged in zazen posture in alertness and riding the wave is to expand, to include everything. You know, the way to expand is to be continually alert to whatever feelings are passing through the body.

[17:55]

You open up to whatever feeling is there at the beginning of Zazen. And moment by moment, you open up to whatever feeling is there. In the beginning, it doesn't hurt, just some feeling. And then as Zazen, the time goes by, your legs start to hurt. So if you wait, your legs start to hurt, if you wait to be aware and accepting before your legs start to hurt, until your legs start to hurt, then there's no way that you can deal with it. And so you end up suffering. But suffering is also enlightenment. So don't worry about it.

[18:59]

Your difficulty, your enlightenment is within your difficulty. This is a very important point. The problem is that we want to get rid of our difficulty. We want to get rid of the tough parts. And as long as you want to get rid of the tough parts, you're going to suffer. So the tough parts are the important parts. but you can make it easier on yourself if you just open up to every feeling from the beginning gradually gradually open to every feeling that appears and accept every feeling moment by moment and then when there's appears

[20:04]

what appears to be a very painful feeling, you open up to that in the same way. And it's not this shock of suddenly something very strong descending on you and overwhelming you. That way, everything is received equally. You don't discriminate between the easy feelings and the difficult feelings, or the nice feelings and the hard feelings. Everything is accepted equally. This is what Zazen is. You just accept everything equally, without discriminating it. You say, well, how was Zazen for you? Well, you can't answer, right? Oh, it was really hard, or it was really easy, Well, it was just what it was, right? It's just what it is.

[21:06]

It's not easy. It's not hard. And it's not pleasurable. It's not painful. It's just wavy. But we get caught. As soon as we get caught, then we know what it was. So long as you don't get caught, you don't know what it is. Only when you get caught do you know what it is. So don't let yourself get caught. And as soon as you get hooked, let go. As soon as you get hooked, Let go of that discrimination and just keep opening, opening to whatever is there.

[22:12]

It's the only way. So Zazen is to cut off the discriminating mind. As long as you hang on to the discriminating mind, You wonder what it's all about. As soon as you let go of the discriminating mind, you understand. Yes? Yeah, start out from the very beginning, not discriminating.

[23:21]

See, like someone says, well, this is my first session and I'm scared, you know, and what should I do? How should I think about it? And I say, don't think about it. Don't even think about it at all. Don't even give it a thought. Just come to Sachine and sit down and keep that mind all the way through. Don't think about it. As soon as you think about it, you set up the conditions for getting caught. It's just like walking down the street without any idea about where you're going. And you're just wandering. And whatever comes up, you meet. And you don't know what's going to happen.

[24:32]

But whatever comes up, you just meet it. So in the beginning, to be aware. That's exactly what I mean. In the very beginning. to be aware of what, and accept whatever feeling they have, and accept each feeling moment by moment, consciously, with awareness, without discriminating it. Oh, this is nice. Oh, yeah, this is comfortable. Oh, this is good. Oh, this is awful. None of that. Just follow the waves. When the waves are high, you go high. When the waves go low, you go low. But if you're staying here, when the wave goes high, you get drowned. So whichever way it goes, you have to go with it. This is it. This is it. And then, instead of worrying about the feelings you have,

[25:42]

You direct your energy into your posture. Strong posture. Oh yeah. You can do something that's driving the wave. You're actually doing something. You're not just being passive. Passivity is one side, but being active is the other side. Being active means you really put out your energy and direct your energy to your posture. That's why posture is so important. One reason. You have some place to put your energy and total energy into posture. And then you fall asleep and you wake up and your mind wanders and you come back. But you always keep coming back to putting your effort into the posture. And then your legs hurt.

[26:45]

Or they have some feeling in them. You know, we call it hurting. It's just what we call it. You say, oh, my legs hurt. But you know, Zazen is like a magnifying glass. We reduce our activity down to this narrow scope. And then we're looking through this magnifying glass. And the magnifying glass is on our posture and the magnifying glass is on our feelings. And the least little feeling that comes up that we don't want becomes terribly magnified when we can't get rid of it. And then it overwhelms us. But it's really not much. It's not as much as you think it is. We think it into huge proportions. Everything is controlled by mind.

[27:49]

My legs hurt too, you know. I have pain just like you do. And sometimes, you know, I think, God, you know, this is really hurting me, you know. But then I think, wait a minute, wait a minute. Just open up. Instead of complaining, just open up. Instead of complaining, just open up. And it's a different story. So stop complaining. You can accept everything if you open up. Consciousness, our mind, is buddha nature.

[29:00]

And we can realize the vastness of buddha nature by opening our minds. When our mind is closed or restricted by discrimination, we only realize a small part. Discrimination, discriminating mind is what closes us down. So, if you accept everything from the beginning, you accept the nice things, you know, the easy part, consciously, then You can accept the hard part, consciously. What we discriminate is the hard part. When you stop discriminating between the easy part and the hard part, then you can sit comfortably. Quite comfortable. You can sit comfortably with what we call pain, ordinarily called pain.

[30:14]

And what we ordinarily that ordinarily, what we ordinarily call pain, is just another feeling. But we hold on to it. Grab it and clutch it to our breast. I don't want this. I don't want this. And at the same time, we're clutching it for dear life. Because it's attachment to the pain. We have attachment to the pain. It sounds funny. We don't want it, and yet we clutch it for dear life. So just try jumping off into space. I don't know. Don't close down.

[31:32]

When it comes at you, don't close down. And it doesn't mean that it's going to go away, but it becomes something else. When you breathe easy, You can accept a lot. Things are different. When difficulty arises, you know, our breath tends to rise up and our shoulders tend to rise up and our muscles tend to close down, tense up. When you find this happening, you know you're going the wrong way. That's when you go ride the wave at that point. If you feel like your legs are opening up, sometime when you feel painful legs, just feel like your legs are opening up.

[32:53]

As a matter of fact, you should do that as soon as you sit down. Just feel open, open, open, open. The container, you know, when something goes into a container and the container is not big enough for it, there's a problem. And that's the problem. The container is not big enough. You have to open up the container. So you say, open sesame. Open, open up. and you're relaxing, as long as you're tense and limited, well, you know, the whole universe is pressing down on you.

[33:56]

It's a fact. The whole universe is pressing, and when you feel, when you get overwhelmed with pain, you feel the whole pressure of the universe pressing down on you. because you don't have the pressure within to neutralize it. So how do you contain the whole pressure of the universe? If you have a self, you can't do it. You know, it sounds easy when you say so.

[35:02]

But you can do it. And you have to keep trying over and over. And sometimes you'll get caught. And so it's a kind of bumpy road. But it is a bumpy road. You get caught and then you remember. But the more that you do that, the more you remember. And then, at first, as I said, the road is narrow and you fall off, you know, a lot. But then after a while, the road gets a little bit bigger, a little bit wider, and you can go down the road without falling off so much. And then you can, pretty soon the road gets pretty wide, and you hardly ever fall off. And then, whether you have pleasure or pain or whatever it is, is a deep joy in Zazen. And you feel it anyway, otherwise you wouldn't keep going back.

[36:07]

Even though you're continually falling off, it's still there. But this is, I'm telling you, from my own experience. I've gone through lots and lots of pain in Dzogchen, and I probably experienced everything that everybody experiences in Dzogchen. I remember going through excruciating sessions and excruciating periods as well. Until I learned how to ride instead of hold on.

[37:12]

I learned to let go instead of hang on. And if you make that effort, something will happen, something will open up for you beyond your effort. You will get a response. If you really make that effort, you will definitely get a response. If you don't give up, So, painfulness and difficulty is right within the midst of enlightenment. Your difficult, painful practice of not knowing where to turn is right in the midst of enlightenment.

[38:22]

That same thing, which is confusion, difficulty, discriminating mind, clutching, when turned around is enlightenment. So I was talking about the recugio, and I got off a little bit.

[39:39]

Driving the beat and following the beat. When you're doing this, you're creating the rhythm. And at the same time, you're following what everyone is doing. If you're only doing, you're only creating, then you get way ahead of everybody. And if you're only following, you get behind everybody. So you have to listen to what everyone's doing, and at the same time do this, and everything works. As soon as you stop listening, it doesn't work anymore. And you're at sea. And everybody says, what's happening here? So all of us have to participate in the same way. We are all leading and we're all following at the same time. And the same thing with zazen. You're leading and you're following. So keeping that balance of leading and following means to be in the right place at the right time on each moment, doing the right thing.

[40:49]

So everything we do has the same aspect. And that's how we say it's all zazen. Same practice in everything we're doing. Same practice in the kitchen. Kitchen practice is zazen practice. When you're cooking, you say to yourself, I'm going to be done. I have to do this and I have to be done at this time, and you trust that, then your clock will help you, your internal clock will help you to know how fast to go, at what pace to go, and when things should be done in order to come out at that time. If you really trust yourself And you won't go too fast, you won't go too slow.

[42:01]

So an accomplished Tenzo should have that ability. So when we establish that inner harmony, then it extends to our whole sphere of activity. And we're in touch with and harmonizing with everything around us. I intended to talk about something else.

[42:51]

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