Things to be Mindful of in the New Year
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Is a Six-pack and Pornography Practice?, Saturday Lecture
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Good morning. This is the last talk of the year. So I made a list of things that are worthwhile for us to think about going into the next year regarding how we practice. You know, over and over again the question comes up How do we practice out in the world?
[01:05]
How do we practice in the Zen Do? And those kind of questions which are continually coming up. So I want to address those questions so that we have a good understanding of how to practice going into the new year. This question came up during Satsang of how do we deepen our practice? And my response was, don't try. Don't try to deepen your practice. Just simply practice. Practice doesn't go anywhere, so to speak.
[02:12]
We practice with a non-gaining idea. As our old teacher said, no gaining idea, not to acquire something, but simply to express the reality of the universe. You know, Zazen is simply doing something with everything. The whole universe is practicing Zazen all the time. So that's all we're doing, is practicing zazen with the universe. But then you say, well, no, it's not. All those other people are running around doing other things. No, it's not true.
[03:19]
Everybody's doing something. Everybody's running around doing something. But at the same time, the whole universe is practicing zazen. Zazen is simply the practice of the stillness, the profound stillness within all the activity. Because we don't see or we're not aware of the profound stillness within all the activity, we think that everyone's just running around doing stuff. To have a satori or enlightenment, is to realize the profound stillness within all the activity, which is the basis of the universe. So when we say, settle the self on the self, zazen is to settle the self on the self.
[04:27]
means to settle on that profound stillness, which is the basis of all activity. All activity rises out of stillness. When you listen to music, music is sound coming out of stillness. What makes the music is the space between the notes. And when the sounds are over, there's just profound stillness again. When the dog stops barking, there's profound stillness. What is it that's hearing the dog bark? So, When we practice, we don't just practice for our own sake.
[05:30]
We practice with everything, with the whole universe, the whole... When we let go of the activity of body and mind, drop body and mind, and just settle, into this stillness, which is sometimes called infinite light or infinite stillness, we come to rest at the center of all life. This is where all life meets. This is called oneness. all life meets in this place. And then all the activity arises from this place and there are all these differences.
[06:34]
And there's war and fighting and arguing and opinions and partial understanding and partiality and me and mine and yours. But when it's all let go of, It all sinks down and levels off as profound stillness. Sometimes if you go into the country where there's no sound at all, or no perceptible sound, it's eerie and wonderful. You just listen to the silence. And it's like, what a relief. So, activity has stillness as its base.
[07:43]
And to realize the stillness within our activity, to always be embedded in the stillness within our activity is called practice. It has nothing to do with whether you're out in the world, so to speak, or in the zendo. It's all one piece. So to talk about zendo practice and daily life practice as two things is incorrect. When you're in the zendo, you practice that way. When you're at home or in the world or whatever, that world, this world, we step it from one world into another continuously. But all those worlds, in all those worlds, it's the same practice, not a different practice. You don't have to do something different. All you have to do is stay centered at the bottom of the universe.
[08:50]
This is also called samadhi, to always move within big mind. So that way, we don't succumb to pettiness. Pettiness, a big obstacle, picking at each other, criticizing each other, fault-finding with each other. When we are at that place, we recognize ourself in each other. And we can treat everyone as Buddha, even though You know, we may get irritated at Buddha.
[10:01]
We still address Buddha as Buddha. We don't lose ourself. So this is also called continuous practice. In every single situation, we give ourself wholeheartedly to every situation. When we give ourself wholeheartedly to every situation, there's no duality of subject and object. I'm me and you're you. I am me and you are you, but at the same time, we're connected at the base. It's like this hand is one hand, but it has five fingers.
[11:07]
But all those five fingers are connected to the hand. They're the five fingers of one hand. And if I want to do something with this hand, all those fingers have to cooperate. If this finger is fighting that finger, I have a hard time. So in order for these fingers to do their work, they all have to harmonize. And if I have two hands, that's 10 fingers, then those fingers have to harmonize. If they're fighting each other or criticizing each other or not skillfully working together, it causes a big problem. So practice is to harmonize with your surroundings, no matter what situation you're in, and realize that wherever you are, your situation is reflecting you, is a mirror.
[12:20]
And when we see people around us as other, or I don't like you or you irritate me and stuff like that. It may be true, that does happen. But how do we create a positive situation rather than a negative one? Because creating the situation is up to us. What we do with the raw material is up to us. There are people that we get along with really well. There are people we get along with sometimes and don't get along with sometimes. There are people that really irritate us. So how do we skillfully make it all work? That's practice. How do we not fall into egotism
[13:31]
and small mind and pettiness. So that's the basis of, you know, practice. And then there's like, what do you do? Like, what are the things that you can do to make practice work? Like scheduling your life. You know, if you take practice seriously, then you have to incorporate practice into all the activities of your life. Or as, you know, Zendo practice is important because it's a practice of the Sangha. And the Sangha supports your practice, and you support the practice of everyone else. I was talking to somebody not long ago and said, and this person was thinking about the support they might get from the Sangha.
[14:56]
And I said, well, you know, the Sangha depends on you. The person, it does? The Sangha depends on me? Yes. There's no Sangha without you. Every one of us adds something to the Sangha. And when each one finds their place in the Sangha, it changes the equation. Each person's presence changes the equation. And then we all adjust to that equation. and we're adjusting constantly, making constant adjustments to the equation. So whoever is present at any one time determines how we will respond in any given situation. So each person is important, both in supporting the situation and being supported by the situation.
[16:02]
So people feel, well, I come to Zazen and you guys are all here, you know, and the doors open and I walk in and I sit Zazen and then I chant the sutra and do bows and then I go home and you're all taking care of it. But actually, you are taking care of it. Your presence is meaningful. Because you're here, it works for everybody. Every single person's presence makes a difference. And you create the practice. It's not like there's a practice going on here and you can join in or not join in. You create the practice. So there's the passive side and the active side. The passive side is, yes, we're all here and you can join it. The active side is, you are making it work. So to schedule or design your practice so that you can actually participate in a way that works for you, given all of your other activities.
[17:19]
I have to say this over and over again, and you've heard it many times, but you schedule your practice. Because practice is something that you do intentionally. It comes from your intention, considering your feelings, taking your feelings into consideration. You actually practice according to your intention. You don't ignore your feelings, but you can't practice just based on your feelings. Practice has to be based on your intention, because your intention is non-partisan. Your feelings are partisan. You know, I like it, I don't like it, I want to do it today, I don't want to do it. Those are feelings which are wonderful but you can't count on them. What you have to count on is your intention and to keep your intention, keep your
[18:28]
your promise to yourself so that your feelings don't dissuade you from doing what you intended to do. Even though I don't feel like doing it today, I will because I said I would. That's practice. And that's what makes practice strong because it's through determination. And everyone knows that in order to actually practice, actually siddhasan, you have to have determination. Someone once said, or many people have said, well, you know, practice just becomes an endurance contest. Right. Endurance is very important. That's how you strengthen yourself, is you strengthen yourself through intentional practice and through endurance.
[19:47]
Even though it's difficult, you do it anyway. And the more you do it, the stronger you get. And the more adversity you have and continue through adversity, the stronger you get. That's what's so wonderful about adversity. That's what life is about. It's about overcoming or dealing with adversity. If we only have an easy life, we don't get very strong. But through our adversity and facing our adversity and dealing with our adversity, we become strong. The life of the world is like that. We say the best apples come from the north where it's cold. and the trees endure the winter and then when they produce their apples, their apples are really delicious. Of course, that analogy doesn't work for everything, but you get the point.
[20:53]
So, I always appreciated my teacher. who would always gently push me through adversity. So another point is not to overextend ourself, to know just what is enough. We might become greedy for zazen, And so we should be careful about that. I remember when we were first sitting at Sokoji, there were people who would leave their families. They wanted to leave their families and just do Zazen. Suzuki Roshi would never let them do that. You have to take care of your responsibilities, you have to take care of your family, and then figure out what amount of zazen you can do.
[22:02]
And it should harmonize with the rest of your life, not just be greedy for doing something spiritual, so to speak. Spiritual has to manifest within the mundane activities of your life. That's where the spiritual practice actually manifests, is through all the aspects of your daily activity. You know, it's one thing to look like a saint, you know, going around like this all day long, but to sublimate all that wonderful stuff into all the activities of your life, so it doesn't look like anything's happening, but it's all there. but also, you know, to limit your activities so that you actually can give yourself space to do Zazen.
[23:09]
The problem we have today, as I've said many times and as you already know, is different than the problems that most which is we have the problem of overabundance. Overabundance of goods, overabundance of choice and activities and so forth, and everything looks so good, you know? And you look at the, you can take 500 different classes in wonderful, interesting things, and you can buy as many automobiles as you want if you have the money. You can have three television sets in your house, So how do we make a choice? What do you do? In order to practice, you have to limit all that stuff so that you can actually have the time and the space to practice. So it's wonderful because in practice, there's a certain amount of renunciation that has to take place.
[24:16]
We've all heard of renunciates. Those are monks, right? But we practice kind of a middle way. It's not a monk's practice, but it's not exactly an indulgence practice either. You have to let go of things. You have to have some amount of renunciation in order to allow yourself to practice. You have to decide what it is that you're gonna let go of and not do in order to actually do what you wanna do. and not get turned around by that, by greediness. Fundamental to practice. This is a kind of non-profit practice, where you give everything, but you don't get anything back.
[25:21]
The more you give, the more you don't get. But on the other hand, as I've always said, if you want the biggest commodity or the most precious thing, if you want the most precious thing, you have to pay the highest price, big price. So if you really want realization through practice, practice realization, you have to pay some price for it. And then of course there's honoring your commitment. In order to practice we have to make Which doesn't mean that you ignore the rest of your activities, but you make a commitment according to your ability to do that, given all of your other activities.
[26:36]
I told you, that's what I talked about, but you should honor whatever it is that you commit yourself to, and that is called practice. Or when you sit, you say, I'm going to sit down here for 40 minutes. That's a commitment. You don't get up and walk away because you don't like it. You can, it's all right, but you see it through for 40 minutes, then you walk away and say, I'll never do this again. And then there's staying with the breath. To keep returning, reminding yourself of stillness. Even though we must realize stillness within our activity, we also have to realize stillness within stillness. So at times during the day, to find a way to just sit down.
[27:44]
Just stop everything. You know, nowadays we have the mindfulness bell when we're talking or doing something, ding, but in a practice situation, everybody stops. But you can do that just with yourself during your day. People, we get going, mm, mm, and then the day revs up, you know, mm, mm, mm, and then stop. And sit down, close the door. If you're in the office, close the door. and just sit down for a few minutes without doing, you know, do a little zazen in the chair. Chair zazen is good. Also, you know, people sit in chairs a lot. If you're working in an office, sitting in a chair a lot. So to just take some time to not do anything while you're sitting in that chair, five minutes can make a big difference. Five minutes is a long time to just come back to stillness.
[28:46]
And if you can take those kinds of breaks, it's like doing a little zazen all throughout your day. And you can stay with your breathing when you do that, just focus on the breath. You know, one way of extending practice throughout your day to be in conformity with how we practice as in on the cushion is to stay with your breath, because breath is going on all the time, whether you're sitting on the cushion or working or walking or whatever you're doing, you're always breathing. or as you say, the breath is always going on. We don't breathe. We are breathed and allow ourselves to be breathed.
[29:54]
This is the universal activity that's going on with everything, trees, people, animals, everything is breathing, being breathed by the universe. And we can join in this universal activity of being breathed with everything else. with all other life. Just allow that to happen and join the big breath. The universal breath that's happening all the time. And just get on that line and allow that to happen for five minutes. And then within your activity, you're also breathing. So how do, to breathe with your movement, to breathe, breathe within your activities, to have a consciousness of breathing within your activity. The more you can do that, the more you can do it.
[30:55]
And to have awareness of your breath down here all the time. So, you know, when we get busy or when we get anxious, we start breathing, the breath starts coming up and we're breathing out just shallow breathing. and that adds to our anxiety level. So to get the breath down so that we're always breathing here, no matter what our activity is, then we don't have such a tendency to react, but we can respond more easily because we're centered in our breath. So when something happens, we immediately come to our breath. And then we do something. Then we respond. So to know where your breath is all the time is important.
[32:00]
And that's a form of practice that you can do. You don't have to cross your legs. You don't have to do anything. All you have to do is be aware. And you can practice conscious breathing anytime a day or night. When you go to sleep, when you go to bed, if you have any problem sleeping, just focus on deep breathing. Get your breath down here and just follow your breath. And it's possible that you'll go to sleep. I don't guarantee it. I myself just, when I go to bed, I just won't. I'm out. So I don't have to worry about that. But I know that it works. I leave the world behind. No matter what's happening, I'm going to turn off the world and I just go to sleep. So sometimes people say, how do you compare your worldly activity with Zendo practice?
[33:28]
How do you make that comparison? Is Zendo practice harder or is your family practice harder or what? When I hear that question, I think of R.H. Blythe's response. He says, comparisons are odorous. They stink. You shouldn't try to compare the difficulty of your life with the difficulty of practice, because it's all one thing. When you're in the zendo, you have one kind of problem. When you're in your daily life, you have a different kind of problem. And when you get really refined down to it, you realize the same The problems you have in the Zen are the same problems you have in your daily life, basically. And the problems you have in your daily life are pretty much the same problems you have in Zazen, basically.
[34:34]
And the basis of all those problems is ego. I don't like those kinds of comparisons. So whether we're in the zendo or whether we're in the world, to support, to be a support for people, to be a support for the situation you're in and to let go of self-centeredness is the basic kind of practice. And to let go of fault finding. We do find fault, you know.
[35:37]
Everyone has a fault. Everyone has a place where they're not as good as some other place. And some people, we don't like the way they do things, blah, blah, blah. But fault finding is something within ourself. Some part of ourself that we see in others. So because we may have some self-criticism, self-critical attitude toward ourself, we project it out on others and then we look for that fault in each person. And so we're just looking for a place to find it and then when we focus on somebody, boom, you know, boom, boom. So when we find ourselves doing that, that should be a wake-up call to look at ourself and why am I doing this? It's not that all these people are at fault, although they may have a fault, but the fault-finding problem is within myself.
[36:47]
And what that does is block any kind of skillful way of creating harmony. You know, it's easy to have a happy situation when everything is going my way. But how do you create a good situation when things are in chaos or when things are not going your way? when there are a lot of difficult problems. That's where you have to have some skill. And the way to not acquire the skill, but the way to allow skill to come up is to let go of our self-centeredness. As soon as we let go of our self-centeredness, all kinds of things just happen. And we just know how to do something.
[37:57]
Because we're taking care of everybody, even though we may see people as creating problems or trouble or something. We do something with a compassionate attitude, which comes out of the stillness. The stillness, we reach that stillness when we let go of self-centeredness. That's called dropping body and mind to let go of self-centeredness and settle on profound stillness, which produces compassion indiscriminately. This is called residing in big mind continuously. and taking personal responsibility for ourselves.
[39:06]
And it's called being grown up, letting go of childishness and being grown up. So do you have any questions? I've been sitting here writing forward to your next book. You started out talking about practicing inside and getting outside, blah, [...] blah. I did say that, yeah. Blah, blah, blah. I guess that's what I heard. You did. I won't put that part in the book. I've been talking with someone like me who has these pets that she's thinking she needs to give up. I'm having a little bit of a hard time because somewhere inside of me I know that accepting responsibility is where we grow up.
[40:14]
And it doesn't have to be a sacrifice in place. And there are so many things that you said in this, like spiritual practice manifests through mundane activities of life. Which, when exactly, but close enough. And I understand that, but I don't know how to talk about it in a situation that's not sitting Zaz in. Like, I can get, okay, you sit Zaz in, it's sort of mundane, blah, blah, blah, you have to force yourself to do it, and something happens, but things outside of here, I'm not really sure how, except you said something about how to create a good situation when things are not going your way, that's sort of the kicker. And one way to do that is to let skill take over. To let skill come up is to let go of self-centeredness. So we reach this place of stillness and this indiscriminate compassion arises. So from indiscriminate compassion, is that where we get, does the skill just come up when we reach that place and the knowledge and the responsibility?
[41:29]
Skillful means, you know, upaya. Skillful means to handle a situation in a way that allows everything to come together without you interfering. So that the natural balance of things, you allow the natural balance of things to work itself out. I can't tell you how to do that. Yeah, so you make a decision or you allow a decision to be made, you know, when there's no self-centeredness then
[42:32]
All that comes up naturally without your ego interfering. But I can't explain it. Yeah. You know, and it also means having a lot of patience. You know, sometimes it's not doing anything, sometimes it's doing something. Sometimes you have to do something, sometimes it's better not to do something. But if you allow the elements of the situation to come up, then sometimes all you have to do is do that or do this rather than make a big assertion. So sometimes it's like timing and knowing exactly when to do the right thing.
[43:50]
So that means patience to let things work out just to the right moment where you just do the least amount of work to make the thing happen. David? Could you say something about what it is that arises in the mind that blocks intention to practice? That arises in the mind? That blocks intention to practice. Intention is easy. Yes. Well, I think it's sometimes doubt and sometimes more interesting things, you know? The world is so full of interesting things and sansen is not that interesting. As you notice when you sit down to do it, your mind fills up with interesting things. And so what you focus on is the breath and the posture, well those are not so interesting.
[45:00]
I remember in the old days we used to talk about boring. Zazen is boring. Well, it's supposed to be boring, but it's not boring. It's only boring if you're expecting something. If you don't expect something, it's also if you're not, by being totally focused, if you're really involved with posture and breathing, then it's not boring. It's only boring when you're not wholeheartedly there, present. As soon as you're wholeheartedly present, it's not boring, because you're connected, and boredom comes from not being connected. And then, well, what's next? There's a gap. What's next? What'll I do now? I'm bored. But if there's no gap, then there's no boredom. Maybe a little boredom, What is spiritual practice?
[46:07]
Oh, I don't know. Don't ask me. We don't make a distinction between, you know, but we speak in those terms, right? So it's a kind of term that's used in Basically, there's no such thing. What's the best thing we can do for peace in the world? The best thing we can do for peace in the world is not to feel sorry for ourself. and to help everyone else according to what comes up.
[47:12]
Is that different than what you said? Is that different than to have peace in ourselves? Well, to have peace in yourself, don't feel sorry for yourself. If you want to have peace for yourself, don't feel sorry for yourself. I'm referring to the question from the back, what comes up in the mind to block the intention to practice? The first thing you said was doubt, and I thought, no, that's not the problem. I just want to say that my experience of what comes up to block the intention of practice is, these are just the words I use to understand it, is a kind of addiction to creating unwholesome states. When I'm in the grip of that addiction to create unwholesome states, I create them.
[48:23]
And if you ask me if I have a doubt about practice, I would say no doubt about practice. I don't have any doubts. And even if you test that, you'd probably find it in all different states of mind that I don't. But that thing that I've described as addiction to creating unwholesome states, that is also experienced as blockage. Do you understand? I understand exactly what you mean, but it's never stopped me from practice. I have unwholesome states of mind all the time, but I just practice through them. They don't stop me from practice. There is no stopping from practice. If you're really practicing, then you practice with wholesome states of mind, you practice with unwholesome states of mind, you practice through doubt, you practice through everything. Otherwise, you would be a Martian or something.
[49:26]
Human beings have unwholesome states of mind. That's what it means to be a human being. I think that point of intention, you're creating it. You say, oh my intention is blah, and then I do anti-blah. Yes. That's practice. Anti-blah. It's all practice. It's all of it. All of it is practice. You know, people say, oh, I'm so bad, I cannot go to Zen. I'm so bad, I can't practice. That's self-defeating. Bad as I am, I'm practicing. Bad Buddha. I'm bad Buddha today.
[50:30]
The Buddha will always pull you up, you know. As long as you're Buddha, Buddha will always pull you up. We're always falling off, you know. I can't tell you how bad I am. I won't tell you how bad I am. You think I'm kidding. But I just keep practicing, because practicing is what you know, keeps me there. It's practice, you know. The bad things that come up, that's what you're practicing with. They're not bad things. They're just things. We just call them good and bad. And if we do something bad, we get thrown in jail, you know, because society says this is bad. But they're just things that we do.
[51:37]
And they're things that hurt us and stop us and hinder us and all this and hurt people. But that, we just have to practice with that stuff. If you do that, then you realize that your life is not good or bad, it's just all practice. That's what's called practice, is whatever you're doing, whatever's going on, you're practicing with it. It's your practice. And it's a big word. It doesn't mean practicing the piano to get better. It just means your activity of your life. It's your life. You can't get rid of your life. You have to practice with your life, with what's going on in your life. It's not like there's a good side and a bad side. That's how, if we realize that, we can accept everybody, because I'm no better than you are, so how can I criticize you?
[52:44]
Paul? I'm starting to feel like you're saying that it's not possible to not practice. If practice is what you do, that's true. Unless you abandon it. But even though you abandon it, it's still practice. I'm tired of feeling lousy, so I'm going to drink a six-pack of beer and Yes, that's right. That is practice? Yes. How is that practice? Because it's your life.
[53:44]
May not be good for you. It may not be good for you. No, of course it's not good for me, but I'm choosing to do that just because I'm tired of trying and I just want to numb myself and just feel good for a few for some short space of time, even though I know later down the road I'm going to suffer. Is that still practice? Yeah. Then it loses its meaning. You know, you can't get out of it. Whether it loses its meaning or not, it's just meaningless practice. It's Buddha doing meaningless practice and when you're tired of it you can come back and do some meaningful practice. I've never understood this word
[54:54]
I would know a lot more about myself than I do. The explanations that I offer for practicing, I would never call that, I would never use the word intention. So we can't deepen our practice, but what about our intention? Yeah, you can honor your intention if you have one. You may not have one. but for some reason you're here. You know, intention is no matter what happens, no matter how good I am or how bad I am, practice is my intention. Yeah, vow.
[56:06]
Intention, vow. Absolutely. How is that any different than brushing my teeth? Why should it be different? You have an intention to brush your teeth. Matter of fact, you probably have a vow to brush your teeth without knowing it. Well, my mom told me to brush my teeth. My mom told me to brush my teeth too, but I didn't do it. And then later, my dentist told me to brush my teeth. And that was my vow. I didn't always do what my mom told me, but I'd do what my dentist said. Well, you told me to practice too. But I'm not your mom. I'm still trying to sort out your exchange with Paul.
[57:11]
And it centered around the word practice. And it sounded at times like, well, there's a kind of practice in which we're always practicing. You can say what you practice is what you become. And if Paul said this to me, mother in me would probably say, well, you don't want to practice that. You might become that. You might be stuck in that. But there's also a sense in which, in the conversations that I was hearing, there is a practice or a kind of practice which is valuable for us to pursue. And it seemed like the distinction, at least in my mind, the distinction between those two was getting lost in your exchange. Yeah. The distinction should get lost. You know, we become Puritans, we become one-sided, we become blind, you know, we put on blinders, this, this, that, you know.
[58:18]
And every person, no person has, almost nobody can do something in a straight line. There's expansion and contraction and there's a little leaking and there's a little discouragement. We have to give ourselves room to expand and contract, so to speak, to be bad. We have to allow ourselves to be bad sometimes, so to speak. To be off. And accept the fact that we're off. And it's okay to be off. Yeah, it's acceptance of your decision to do something.
[59:39]
We have to give ourselves some space, you know. If we give ourselves space, then we can come back. If we don't give ourselves space, then we're liable to it's easier to get discouraged and just boom, you know. So don't let yourself get discouraged by trying to maintain a certain line without ever deviating. And you also have to allow yourself to be bad because it's good for you. That's what I want to do. But I didn't have to tell you that. I remember Suzuki Roshi used to say, a good Zen student should sometimes be mischievous.
[61:00]
We're not talking about mischief. I know, we're not talking about mischief. I understand we're not talking about mischief. We're talking about killing. Killing? Yeah. Killing who? Look, when you say practice, and it's almost always synonymous with mindful awareness, so Paul's example is killing mindful awareness. No, I don't think so. You don't think so? No. No, I don't think it's that serious. I don't think it's that serious. Paul, you know, is at the Zen Dojo every single day. Sometimes ... listen to me ... his practice is very strong. Sometimes ... it's not like your practice ... You're very hard on yourself. You're really hard on yourself because you feel guilty.
[62:07]
So, stop feeling guilty so much. Just accept the way you are and you'll be much happier and you'll be able to practice more easily. You're very hard on yourself. Because no matter how much guilt you have, it's not going to help you. You punish yourself. So feeling all that guilt is like punishment. I thought this, I did that, so I'm going to punish myself by feeling guilty. When you do something, we should feel some remorse or whatever, but it's better to right now, accept who you are. Because I will accept who you are. We'll all accept who you are if you accept who you are. Then you feel some ease.
[63:12]
And when you feel some ease, then you can change. You can't change until you feel some ease. It's not possible. Because The guilt is restriction. And as long as there's that restriction, you're finding yourself out of a bag, but the bag is too tight. Can't do it. You have to accept who you are, walk out of the bag, breathe the fresh air, and just accept who you are. And then you can walk this way, you can walk that way, you know, get some ease into the situation. Don't be so hard on yourself. Maybe what you're doing is not so bad after all. You just think it may be, or you may just think it is. Anyway, whoa. Things are numberless.
[64:27]
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