Welcome. I wanted to talk a little bit tonight and have some discussion about one of my favorite sections from Zen Mind Beginner's Mind by Suzuki Roshi. This one, this chapter is called Control. And Suzuki Roshi says, to live in the realm of Buddha nature means to die as a small being. moment after moment. When we lose our balance, we die. But at the same time, we also develop ourselves, we grow. Whatever we see is changing, losing its balance. The reason everything looks beautiful is because it is out of balance. But its background is always in perfect harmony. This is how everything exists in the realm of Buddha nature.

[01:05]

Losing its balance against a background of perfect balance. So I love this phrase. Losing our balance against the background of perfect balance. And the reality of our life is that we're always losing our balance. We're always a little off. So this section applies to our life and our attempts to function in our everyday life. It also very much applies to Zazen itself. Maybe they're not different, but it talks about losing our balance against this background of perfect balance. And somehow, in the midst of our losing our balance in Zazen, we get some taste of this background of perfect balance.

[02:09]

So we can talk about, you know, the two truths in terms of foreground and background. Or we can talk about this background of perfect balance as like knowing the one who is not busy. In the middle of our busy everyday activity, we There's this famous story of Yun-Yan sweeping the ground and his brother Dao saying, too busy. And Yun-Yan saying, you should know there's one who's not busy. So this one who's not busy is another way of talking about this background of perfect balance. This settledness. Yeah, we can't get a hold of it. But just to have some sense, some sense that there's one who's not busy. To remember that as we lose our balance, as we get caught up in this or in that, it makes a difference in terms of how we navigate the confusion and suffering of our life and the lives of the world and all those around us.

[03:30]

and also how we can respond to the imbalance. Tsukiyoshi says the reason everything looks beautiful is because it is out of balance. So, you know, it's like in Japan, they love, they appreciate flowers most when they're just starting to fade. So to actually give ourselves to the world of impermanence. In early Buddhism, they tried to escape from samsara. Nirvana was seen as getting free from the cycle of birth and death. But the Bodhisattva, Mahayana, especially as it developed in China and even more in Japan, is there's this sense of, okay, here we are. We're losing our balance. We're in the middle of this world of suffering.

[04:31]

And yet, there's something beautiful here. And as Suzuki Roshi says, the reason everything looks beautiful is because it is out of balance. But his background is always in perfect harmony. So if we know There's one who's not busy. If we see this background of perfect balance, then there's this interplay. And actually, there's a way of working with our imbalances. So he says, this is how everything exists in the realm of Buddha nature, losing its balance against the background, the perfect balance. So if you see things without realizing the background of Buddha nature, everything appears to be in the form of suffering. But if you understand the background of existence, you realize that suffering itself is how we live and how we extend our life. So in Zen, sometimes we emphasize the imbalance or disorder of life. We don't try and make everything perfect, because as that great American yogi said, if the world were perfect, it wouldn't be.

[05:42]

So Sugiurshi continues, nowadays traditional Japanese painting has become pretty formal and lifeless. This is why modern art has developed. Ancient painters used to practice putting dots on paper in artistic disorder. This is rather difficult. Even though you try to do it, usually what you do is arranged in some order. You think you can control it, but you cannot. It is almost impossible to arrange your dots out of order. So there's this, you know, the wonderful Japanese rock gardens that were one of my own first inspirations towards the present practice. There's just this kind of sea of gravel, raked gravel, and then there's these rocks that are arranged. And sometimes they're arranged in sort of to represent kind of forms, islands, or cranes, or dragons, or tigers. And those are beautiful too, but the ones that are really abstract are just rocks.

[06:47]

And there's a, so students of Japanese aesthetics sometimes try and you can get these little trays with little gravel and rocks and try to arrange them with no order, you know, without, but it's pretty hard not to find some pattern there. the great rock gardens like Ryoan-ji in Kyoto, which is just amazing and it's wonderful and you can't explain why it's so wonderful, but you can't find some pattern there. It was unknown for a few centuries. It was built, I think, in the 1300s or 1400s and then somebody realized what it was. Anyway, Tsuki Roshi says, even though you try to do it, usually what you do is arranged in some order. You think you can control it, but you cannot. It's almost impossible to arrange your dots out of order. It's the same with taking care of your everyday life. Even though you try to put people under some control, it's impossible.

[07:50]

You can't do it. The best way to control people is to encourage them to be mischievous. Then they will be in control in its wider sense. So I'm trying to work it with everybody here. Sometimes my impulse to try and make things all work, get the better of me, but really, I just want you all to do what you're doing. The best way to control people is to encourage them to be mischievous. Then they will be in control in its wider sense. And then this wonderful line, to give your sheep or cow a large spacious meadow is the way to control him. So it is with people. First, let them do what they want and watch. This is the best policy. To ignore them is not good. That's the worst policy. The second worst is to try to control them.

[09:08]

The best way is to just watch them, just to watch them, without trying to control them. The same way works for you yourself as well. If you want to obtain perfect calmness in your zazen, You should not be bothered by the various images you find in your mind. Let them come, let them go. Then they will be under control. But this policy is not so easy. It sounds easy, but it requires some special effort. How to make this kind of effort is the secret of practice. So, this is a really important aspect of Zazen. In some ways this is advanced teaching about Zazen, but it's also Zazen instruction, basic Zazen instruction. People start sitting Zazen and they think that the point is to control their mind.

[10:12]

There's an impulse to want to concentrate on something. So, you know, we have things you can do. You know, people want to have something to do. What am I doing? What am I doing sitting, just sitting here? So, you know, okay, count your breaths or focus on a mantra or, you know, listen to sound or, you know, there's all kinds of things, kinds of, there's actually libraries for concentration objects in Buddhism. And, you know, it's okay if you want to try and control your mind, control your thinking, But one of the first best lessons of Zazen, which I'm sure you've all experienced, is that you can't control your thinking. You don't know what you're thinking. It's not exactly that your thinking controls you either. Your thinking is just your thinking. So when he says, give your cow a white pasture, this also applies to what to do with how your mind works in Zazen.

[11:16]

So this applies to, this teaching applies in so many ways. It applies to how to work, you know, in a work situation, you know, as a supervisor, how to control, you know, people working under you, or people working with you, or how to take care of, you know, relationships too, not to try and control things, not to try and control others, but also not to try and control yourself. And it's, it's kind of, it continues to surprise me how often people, you know, when they ask me about Sawson, want to know how to control their mind. It's kind of very common too, that people think that Sawson is about controlling their mind in some ways. And you know, it's possible to, To do concentration practice, it's possible to be very, very focused, very attentive to focus on... There are many ways, many concentration tools.

[12:33]

Focusing on visualizations or focusing on breathing in various ways. And doing that, it's possible to become a very accomplished, skilled meditator and be very, very, very concentrated. And the Jhanas in early Indian Buddhism are about this, getting very, very concentrated. But that's not what Zen is about, and that's not conducive to liberation, even early Indian Buddhism says that. That may help you get to very exalted states of mental states, but that's not liberation. So, what Zakya Raksha is saying here is, on some levels obvious, this background of perfect balance, is not achieved by trying to reach some perfect balance through control, but it's giving the cow a spacious meadow, a wide pasture, giving the mind a wide pasture to wander in.

[13:52]

This is subtle in terms of applying it to meditation. So actually, all of you here tonight happen to be pretty good meditators. You're all pretty experienced meditators. So this is a very useful meditation instruction. And I don't want to say that the side of focusing is, side of focusing is important too. We need to settle. And during the course of sitting all day, for example, there are times when you need to focus, settle, or even in a period of zazen, just focus. So the side of concentrating a little bit is important, but that's not the point. That's at the service of then allowing this wider, open, spacious mind. So again, he says, if you want to obtain perfect calmness in your zazen, you should not be bothered by the various images you find in your mind.

[15:05]

So thoughts are just images, you know. You could just see them as various scenarios arising and falling. Let them come, let them go. Then they will be under control. They're not exactly under your control, but they're in this, you know, they're in this wide pasture, you know, munching on the grass, wandering around. But this policy is not so easy, Suzuki Yoshi says. It sounds easy, but it requires some special effort. How to make this kind of effort is the secret of practice. Suppose you are sitting under some extraordinary circumstances. So we've all experienced that. Some difficulty in your life, or it could be just a lot going on and it's difficult, or not feeling so well, or even just feeling sleepy, or sometimes some real loss or some crisis or something that you're really struggling with.

[16:13]

He says, if you try to calm your mind, you will be unable to sit. If you try not to be disturbed, your effort will not be the right effort. The only effort that will help you is to count your breathing or to concentrate on your inhaling and exhaling. Or I like to say to just enjoy your inhale and exhale. To really feel your inhale and exhale. We say concentration, but to concentrate your mind on something is not the true purpose of Zen. The true purpose is to see things as they are. Whatever's going on. to observe things as they are and to let everything go as it goes. This is to put everything under control in its widest sense. Zen practice is to open up our small mind, so concentrating is just an aid to help you realize Big Mind, or the mind that is everything. So as I was saying, this concentration helps us to allow this spaciousness that a lot that allows more options, that allows us more flexibility and more sturdiness, actually.

[17:23]

If you want to discover the true meaning of Zen in your everyday life, you have to understand the meaning of keeping your mind on your breathing and your body in the right posture in Zazen. You should follow the rules of practice and your study should become more subtle and careful only in this way do you experience the vital freedom of Zen. So what this What he's talking about here is the vital freedom of Zen as opposed to control. So we all have some impulse to want to be in control. That's very human. We want to have things under control. We want to know where we are and how to take care of things and what's going on. But vital freedom is letting ourselves lose control. or the control that we think we have. Let Buddha have control. Let life have control. Let our breathing have control. Let go of our idea of control.

[18:25]

Allow the spaciousness of what Siddharishi calls the big mind. Just this open-heartedness. that we can have when we're not trying to manipulate things to be the way we think they should be. So just like he says, the best way to control people is to encourage them to be mischievous. Then they will be in control in its widest sense. Give your sheep or cow a large spacious meadow. Do the same thing with your thoughts. Allow yourself and your own thoughts to be mischievous. Then there will be control, in control in the wider sense. Don't try and force yourself to be, force your thoughts to be some certain way that you think is right thought.

[19:28]

The point isn't to be some perfect Zen zombie or whatever. The point is to be present with reality as it is, and that includes what's going on on your cushion, your thoughts, your feelings. And this also applies to how do we respond to the difficulties in our world. So all this stuff I've been talking about in terms of the mountains and waters and the landscape and the difficulties of planet and so forth. How to respond to that is by not trying to be in control of it, but by being willing to just be present and be in a situation as it is. And each of us, by being willing to be open in our own way and present with this sense of this wide pasture, can be more helpful, actually. can be more creative, can be more flexible, and as difficulties arise, and as the world gets more difficult, we can have more of a capacity to respond, to be helpful.

[20:46]

Again, to live in the realm of Buddha nature means to die as a small being, moment after moment. Whatever we see is changing, losing its balance. The reason everything looks beautiful is because it is out of balance. But its background is always in perfect harmony. Buddha nature is losing its balance against a background of perfect balance. Inhale after exhale. So, again, this is one of my favorite passages in Zen Mind Beginner's Mind. So, comments, questions, responses, please. Feel free. Just to be yourself. Just to, you know, what you... Maybe Laurel doesn't have any mischievous bones in her body, I don't know.

[22:00]

I think I've seen a couple. So harmless... It doesn't mean causing harm, you know, we still have the precepts, but you can be playful and be, you know... What's the quality, though? I'm just... I wonder about that. Like... Can anybody help Laurel with examples of playful playfulness to this mind? I'm reminded of a talk from a couple of weeks ago where Yeah, that was a mischievous talk.

[23:05]

What was the joke you started out the talk with? I liked it. The joke was, why was the Zen coroner fired from his job? Because he kept writing down, the cause of death was life. It was worse. It was worse. I'm sorry. Great. Good thing you guys were there. Yeah, I've been thinking about it again, so I've been dipping into it, and I think I'll be doing more of that this year. Other comments on balance and losing balance and wide pastures or anything else?

[24:40]

The thing about the best way to control people, to just let people do what they want, just watch. I think the same thing with ourselves, to just watch what we're up to. Watch yourself. Pay attention. Attention is much more important than our idea of control. When we're paying attention to what our mind is up to. We get to be friendly with ourselves, and we can be creative with There it is again, that thing, and oh, how can I, what can I do about that? And not try and fix everything. That's part of this too. We have this, I think we're, our culture, we're trained to problem solve and fix things. And this is about allowing things to...

[26:15]

get a little broken. In some ways, everything is broken in our society on a certain level, or so much is broken. Okay, so how do we just watch that? And then we can respond from a place that's not trying to be in control, but actually seeing what's real, what's really happening in our own lives. So Will, I don't know how this, maybe you can give examples of how some of this might apply. You mentioned your work life and being a new dad. Yes. So with being a new dad, I would say, to some extent with the baby, You know, move her body for her, and obviously that's not how you're going to crawl her or do much else.

[27:28]

And it's also been interesting to watch my own reactions and see how, even at seven months, I want everything to be perfect for her all the time. my, uh, posture versus ignoring neglect.

[28:42]

Ah. Um, because, uh, there's- there's a constant tension for me where I feel like I can- I can cover all sorts of laziness by just saying, well, I'm- I'm giving them all the work they need. Uh, we- we have a saying in work that, um, the busier you get, the smarter he is. Uh. Well, how does that work? In other words, if you're too overloaded, Suddenly you just say, oh, you can handle all of this, right? I'm going to ignore this completely now because that's how good you are. Whether it's actually because you're that good or just because I don't have the time and attention that I need to really take care of this. So it's a principle that I really agree with and try to practice all the time at work. But even within that principle, it's hard for me to know when Thank you, yeah. It's a real art. Other responses?

[29:47]

Anybody else have work situations where some of this applies? Yeah, I mean, I think that should be in the handbook for manager training. I mean, it's a secretive thing. You have to just be paying attention to everything, but not doing very much. Resist the urge to hedge. And more mistakes are made doing things that you're compulsive, right? I don't know if you can put that in the actual scan, but I'll have to translate for you a little bit, I suppose. One of the boxes would want to say, personally, who do you miss the most? Anybody else, any other responses?

[31:15]

So Suzuki Roshi says that everything is the secret of Zazen. I mean, it feels like all the lots and lots of talks in there that end with, and that's the secret of Zazen. So lots of secrets. Or discover new ones on your own.

[31:49]

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