to taste the truth of the Tathāgata's words. Good morning. It's wonderful to be here this morning. Beautiful sunlight coming up through the fog. I'm always so encouraged by sitting in this hall and today sitting with you friends, making the world wider. We've been, for the last couple of weeks, we've been offering a class in, or actually not a class, but a discussion, which we do every summer. We turn toward the world in a very big way every summer in our Dharma class. And take a look at Zen in action. My friend, Leda Barros, who teaches at the same time,

[01:03]

says, no, not Zen in action, Zen is action. And I think that that's very true. So for five weeks we turn our hearts and minds toward looking at the huge work that's happening with meditation on the front lines. And this morning we welcomed new friends and practitioners from Sangha X. Sangha X is a Sangha that meets and has been meeting for about a year, a little bit longer. Sangha X is composed of people who have been incarcerated and are now free, so to speak. We are the so-called free people, so to speak. But Zen practice is all about going to the edge of what we know and of not being so comfortable in our freedom

[02:06]

or so imprisoned in our incarceration. So we've had a couple of hours of presence with members of Sangha X. And today in question and answer they will join me and in fact discuss during question and answer their experience of practicing meditation, practicing deep friendship, practicing camaraderie and recovery or uncovery on the front lines, what it's like to be continuing to go deeply into life with all of its pain and sorrow. Years ago poet Robert Bly came to Zen Center and said, Oh, this community has a stomach for grief, not so willing to turn away, ready to stick with it. And he said, In the old times in life,

[03:08]

in Greek times, every day people let themselves go down into the grief of the world, not in a simple way, but way down. Developing, training, practicing that capacity is Zen in action. And it is certainly our vow and commitment. Recently I had the pleasure of participating in a gathering in the Bay Area with His Holiness the Dalai Lama. A lot of people asked him about what happens when practice or when Buddhism gets famous and interesting. What happens when people get excited about the modern possibilities of Buddhist practice?

[04:10]

And it was quite wonderful to watch him listening to that question and then respond, I don't care about this at all. He said, I don't care about this a number of times. Go back to the basics and take a look at the basics of practice that are older than Buddhism. So this morning, listening to friends from Sangha X, I felt some of that return to the basics. One of the members said he's been dwelling in the gulch and willing to dwell in the gulch. And another practitioner expressed how the hardest thing was his own unwillingness to look at his life.

[05:13]

That was the hardest and easiest thing to do. So what happens, what practices sustain us when we're dwelling in the gulch? That's what I'd like to bring up this morning. And more than that, real Dharma dialogue, real practice depends on dialogue, on conversation. Without that, we're just fooling ourselves and presenting from one side only. Many years ago, in France, I had the opportunity of going to a museum in Paris. And it was kind of toward the end of the day. I went into the museum and there was a figure in a room that was guarded by a number of guards. So I figured, that figure is valuable. And the guards stood at the doors and the figure was a simple representation of Kannon or of bodhisattva of compassion, active compassion. And she, because it was a female figure,

[06:17]

she sat in complete composure in that French hall. And on the top of her head, there were heads on top of her head, also very composed. But I walked all around the statue and one of the heads on top of her head had its lips drawn back in a terrific, fearsome, fierce attitude. And I thought to myself, oh, this is why this figure is so valuable, because she dwells in the gulch and she's meeting that gulch or that edge. Anyway, that image stayed with me. I've been spending a good amount of time with poets, reading poetry. It's been very good. One of my favorite passages

[07:19]

comes from an American poet, Charles Olson. And as a gardener and meditation practitioner, I particularly appreciate this advice. Whatever you have to say, says the poet, whatever you have to say, leave the roots on. Whatever you have to say, leave the roots on. Let them dangle and the dirt, just to make clear where you come from. So going down to the root practices that sustain a meditation tradition, that sustain real life in the gulch is our work and our, hopefully, joy and our strength. And we do need each other very much. All of us have broken lives.

[08:26]

And some become strong in the broken places. All of us have broken lives and some of us become strong in the broken places. This is Ernest Hemingway speaking to modern life, to our times. I want to talk about the practice of taking refuge or of going back, flying back to what is most essential. And I'd like to ask your indulgence and bring up this practice in Buddhist terms, but free you from the very beginning of being attached to any of the Buddhist language or terms. Because the practice of taking refuge is a very ancient practice that doesn't depend on Buddhist iconography or Buddhist understanding or Buddhist philosophy or Buddhist practice. And yet, in every life, broken life, open life,

[09:32]

recovered life, uncovered life, there is the call to fly back home, come home to ground yourself in what is real, in what's sustaining, in the dirt that is life itself. Wonderful, wonderful world. We say, my gardening teacher said, don't call soil dirt. He was British. Dirt is what is underneath your fingernails. And soil is the source of life. And I think, well, I agreed with that for many years, but now I like to call dirt dirt and look at dirt and look at the practices that keep us strong, that we fly back to. In the ordination ceremony

[10:36]

and last week in this hall, following Reb's talk, there was a lay initiation, which is a form of taking refuge and receiving of the Buddhist precepts. Whenever this happens, the ceremony begins with flying back or coming home. Sometimes we call the ceremony, especially in monk's ordination or priest ordination, the home-leaving ceremony. One of my friends who practices in the heartland of America likes to call the priest ordination coming home to your true nature. So homecoming, home base, check-in, return to yourself. And the wonderful word refuge comes from returning or flying back. I had a wonderful time studying this word, to flee back. You know the word fugitive, subterfuge, come from refuge. It's a dangerous word for dangerous times.

[11:39]

The practice of taking refuge is not safe. We're not looking for a safe harbor from the world. We're looking for a way to come back home, to fly home like a fugitive to what is most essential. And a refuge is protection or shelter. It's a sanctuary. Anything to which you may turn for help, for strength, not for safety, for strength, for courage to face what's really going on, to face the dirt on the roots and the broken life. In the Buddhist tradition, taking of refuge is primary. I take refuge in the Buddha. I take refuge in the Dharma. I take refuge in the Sangha,

[12:41]

the threefold treasure, the triple treasure, the three gems, the true refuges. But how do we translate this taking of refuge so that it's not just narrowly bound to present views? How do we broaden the circle? One of the members of Sangha X this morning I noticed is wearing a T-shirt with a circle, a sumi circle. It's good, considering where he is now in his life, to remember the circle of life and a little opening, just a little opening, so that you can come, you can get out and you can come in. Taking refuge is that kind of a circle. It's the circle of your life deepened by flying home.

[13:42]

So let's go down deep into this and take a look at this old practice. And please, in every case, check out what I'm offering you to your own experience and see if it holds, if there's enough dirt on to sustain the plant. And if not, make it real, make it true and make it your own. When His Holiness mentioned some of the key practices that are worthy of returning to, he mentioned the refuges and renunciation and the six paramitas and wisdom and compassion and many other basic practices. And I think we go back to these practices because they keep us on course and give us courage. About a week ago, not quite a week ago,

[14:46]

about five days ago, I came into this room with a group of 50 children. They're part of a program called Beyond Borders. Some of you may know about this program. These kids are fourth to sixth graders. That means they're age nine through twelve. Some are a little older. And then they have peers, peer counselors, who are in their teens. And the whole point of the program is to go beyond the borders of where we live. So there were a number of kids from Hunters Point, from the Mission, from Chinatown, and from the wealthiest communities in Marin. And they spent the summer, they spent the summer studying their communities, getting to know them inside out, and then going beyond the borders of their communities. And they came here for their last week because they wanted to take a look

[15:46]

at some of the skills that we need in order to go beyond borders. So we came into this room and talked a little bit about the refuges, what it means to take refuge. And they were very alert. It was wonderful working with young people and with their peer counselors and with their teachers. And we looked at these two figures, these two Buddha figures in this room, the two main figures, and really looked at them, not as icons to be worshipped, but as conveyors of qualities that may help us live our life. We could imagine that here with a Jizo figure on this altar and Green Tara with her right foot out, ready to jump off her seat and serve, and Jizo with his right toe lifted and his ring staff banging on the ground to scare away snakes and snails and puppy dog tails,

[16:50]

anything in his way, as he goes out in the world to serve, is a representation of quality worthy of taking refuge in. And that's the courage and the compassion. And the willingness, because this figure is willing to go down into hell to protect children and travelers. And we imagined, because they're doing a lot of writing, these kids, every day they spend some time writing, and at the end of their season, which will be Thursday night, they'll do a play, producing a little bit about what's happened to them, what that process of going beyond borders has meant. So they had great imaginations. And we could imagine a bridge going from this compassion figure here all the way down to the other end of the Zen Do anchoring on Shakyamuni Buddha down there at the end, or Manjushri Buddha figures, and take some time today looking at them, representing wisdom or understanding.

[17:54]

Wisdom maybe is too great, but understanding or deep listening, willingness to look. And we walk on that bridge, looking over the edge, willing, wholly willing to be here. So taking refuge in Buddha has everything to do with flying back to what helps you wake up, what gives you strength. And it's significant that Buddha was a historical being, someone who walked on the earth 2,500 years ago, lived and breathed, was a father and a husband and a monk, was not afraid to go into prisons and dismantle prisons, knowing that they evolved in his mind

[18:57]

and spread out from his mind. So taking refuge in Buddha has everything to do with taking refuge in those qualities of awakening, fierce compassion, solid sitting and understanding, and the bridge in between them. So, this morning we talked in our gathering with SanghaX, we talked about the richness of language. One member said he wished he had a Sanskrit word to talk about. I think he said what SanghaX means is that kind of connection and communion or the awakening that comes. And Sanskrit does have a rich tradition.

[20:01]

Maybe taking refuge in Buddha to make taking refuge a little broader, maybe some of these words might help. And as long as you promise to forget them promptly, it's okay to listen to words. The descriptions for Buddha or for awakened mind, sujata, sugata, welcome in one who is welcome. Sammasambuddha means the Buddha awakened by knowing one's true nature. I mean, taking refuge in knowing your true nature or moving toward that is what is meant by taking refuge in Buddha. And vijjakarana sambhanno, they're such beautiful words. A Buddha is what a Buddha knows, knowledge and conduct lining up. That's what that one word means.

[21:04]

And this one I love, lokavidu, one who looks clearly at the world. And just when you get comfortable with the images that are coming up from your own experience and knowledge, your own commitment to looking at your life, please try to forget them. Please turn counterclockwise five or six times with your eyes closed and then begin to walk fresh. Like the Korean monk who came into this hall for the first time. He'd been a prisoner of war. An outspoken activist and a poet. And he said, for a long time he just sat in the middle of the floor, nose off of nothing. There was nobody else in the hall. We had a whole tour planned and we didn't get past this room. And finally he stood up and he said,

[22:06]

sitting here I feel like I'm standing on the edge of the world. An image that came up this morning. Standing on the edge of a cliff looking out at vastness. That's the quality of taking refuge in Buddha. It is so necessary. The quality that in the Zen tradition, when you see a Buddha you kill the Buddha. You erase everything you rely on and come back to something older and wilder and more necessary. In the ancient times it was verboten to have an image of the Buddha. And in fact, so there were no figures for quite a while. But when Buddha was being evoked there would just be a drawing of a footprint which I love because I think of that awakened mind

[23:07]

which is the Buddha mind leaving almost no trace on the earth maybe just a footprint meaning I walked on this world, on this broken world. I put my foot down again and again and again and I walk and there will be no trace of me. If you try to hold me you're surely lost. Find awakened mind in your own mind, in your own experience. And the Dharma, the teaching, the truth, the law, all beings. The Dharma is represented by a wheel, an eight-spoke wheel for the eightfold path. I love that word, eightfold. I asked Ajahn Amaro recently

[24:09]

why do we say eightfolds? And he said because a fold is a limb, like a limb of a tree and I thought now you've got me, now I'm connected, I can see it. So there are eight, at least eight limbs to the teaching and the Dharma wheel goes around and around. It's again the circle. We're coming back to that circle. And the Sanskrit words apparent, here and now, timeless, encouraging investigation, leading to liberation, know yourself. Beautiful strong words. Zen practice doesn't rely on scriptures or on any transmission

[25:09]

outside of your true mind pointing to true mind and helped by the teaching and by the truth. So take refuge in the truth, in the law, in the unknowable guidance again and again and again and make it real. Remember the wheel. I love the expression that Buddha taught for the wheel of the world, wheel being good for the well-being or the wealth for the wheel of the world. You know, down in the garden we have a new garden that we planted about four months ago. Suhiko who lives here and was an apprentice last year and works in the farm now and I went down and thought it would be great to do a garden planted by kids for kids

[26:09]

and harvested by kids and we can design it but let's let the kids plant it. So we just sat on this kind of crummy piece of land outside of the greenhouse where we've been washing compost buckets, a trash heap kind of place and closed our eyes and imagined a great wheel on the ground. So the new apprentices when they came dug these eight beds with a beautiful hub in the center with an apple tree in the middle and we made a pathway around the wheel and kind of circular beds around and one little tiny opening like a Rori Sumi circle. Come in and go out. Go out and come in. And there's no advertisement. You have to find it on your own. So good luck. I hope you find it today. And you walk in that wheel. We had a class here offering basic Buddhism to kids.

[27:10]

They went into that wheel and stomped around and chanted and carried on and had a lot of fun. And that's what true Dharma needs. A truth that is mutable, changeable, open and wild. Last of all, taking refuge in Sangha. I learned from His Holiness and from some of the students teaching with His Holiness that it's good to remember the original root of the word Sangha, aggregate, kinship of all things. Originally when the Buddha spoke of Sangha we think of that as the community of practitioners. And originally it was the monks and nuns and then laywomen and laymen or the fourfold Sangha. Again, there's that word fold, limbs. But, you know, being too defining of Sangha

[28:13]

doesn't allow for brokenness and raw roots. So it's important when you think you know what your community is to look again and leave the door a little open. Leave the door of your heart and mind a little open so that, as Soen Roshi, my first teacher, said, Sangha relations can become complete. They become complete when you give up knowing what your Sangha is. And trust in that rag-tag bunch of people that you end up sitting with every Sunday afternoon for hours. They become your home in a way. I think of Lee and Steve, two priests who trained at Zen Center,

[29:13]

who were meeting with a Sangha of about 30 prisoners in San Quentin. And let's remember, those of us who live in Marin, remember if you're driving to the East Bay, to drive slowly past San Quentin. Take your time. Maybe if you take time, you can get in that right-hand lane and creep and take a look, or better still, park and walk near San Quentin and recognize what's happening in our beautiful county. You might be able to hear the voices of some of the men that Steve and Lee sit with every Sunday, same day Sangha X meets. Thirty men who sewed their own zabutons, made an altar in the woodworking class,

[30:15]

have half-day sitting, full-day sitting. It's coming up. Half-day or full-day sitting coming up. And think a little bit about freedom, finding freedom. Think about the men and women on death row at San Quentin. There's been a hunger strike going on, especially in the last few days, because of the denial of the right of people to touch their loved ones. That's been shut off. So the people on death row in San Quentin are demonstrating against that basic loss of connection. Just think about that as we live in this county and negotiate in freedom. There are many Sanghas that help us be more alert. So...

[31:28]

I'm... I feel very fortunate to... About a year ago, on Thanksgiving, to have gone with one of my Dharma brothers and friends, who is a member of Sangha Acts, into the San Francisco County Jail, CJ-8. There were four men in CJ-8 who had been in jail for a good bit of time and had been practicing meditation and were interested in receiving the precepts. So we went together and talked a little bit, turned over what that would mean. I remember particularly a very lively discussion about the refuges, what it meant to take refuge. And I thought, maybe we'll soften this up a little bit. We'll say, I take refuge in awakening. I take refuge in seeking the truth. I take refuge in the community

[32:30]

that helps me stay strong. And they said, No, are you kidding? I take refuge in the Buddha. I take refuge in Dharma. I take refuge in Sangha. They wanted a straight shot. They were willing to engage with language that was strong for them. So that is an experience I will remember for a long time. Being in jail, in that glass cubicle, with some of the people in this room, and offering and receiving and practicing the precepts. So we did it together in a circle. And the men in CJA didn't have a woodworking shop or even the ability to make meditation cushions. They made their altar out of material that they had scrounged.

[33:31]

It was a beautiful box that had been lined with tin foil from some of the food they got, I guess. They'd flattened out the tin foil and cut out an image of a Buddha from inside of a book. And the image was connected to the box by letters. I said, the most precious thing we receive when we're in jail is mail. So each of them had taken a letter that meant a lot to him and rolled it into a tight bridge and had bridged... The Buddha was held together by four letters, four directions. And I tried to bring in a bell and a bell ringer, and they stopped me at the door and said, you're not going in with that. And I thought, oh, the bell ringer is a weapon. I never thought of that. So we rang the bell with, I don't remember,

[34:33]

something we found. A pencil, I think. I can't remember. It didn't matter. It had a huge voice. And... I trust that the four men that received the precepts are deepening them and that Sangha relations are becoming complete. They're investigating the truth and calling up the mind of awakening, taking refuge in the Three Treasures. So I would like to close with a poem. And then invite you,

[35:42]

please, to come back after tea and muffins. The real conversation happens amongst each other, with ourselves, within ourselves. We'll make a circle and listen deeply to each other. Thank you for coming today. This poem is one that comes from Kadagiri Roshi. He told the story of a medic during the Second World War, a Japanese doctor who was imprisoned and executed wrongfully. Apparently an American pilot crashed on Japanese soil and this medic received the American pilot in the operating room and was operating on him. And he was commanded not to, to let the man die, to let the pilot die and he refused. The hospital was bombed.

[36:43]

It was during the war. The hospital was bombed and they had to seek refuge. When he came back he found that the pilot had been stabbed to death. He was blamed for the death of the American pilot and not until after his own execution did it come out in his diary that he had not committed that murder. This is the poem he wrote. Thanks to lamenting over the pain in the world I'm able to become laughter when my life is happy. Due to being struck and trampled upon and biting my lips to control my temper, I fully realize how precious it is to be born. Even if I am intentionally tired of this ugly world, look, a blue sky. Even if one laughs scornfully

[37:46]

at my penniless life, there's something much more beautiful, true and worthy that everyone knows. I don't care so much about anything else except love and sincerity, the sun, and a little amount of rain from time to time. I will do my best to work without complaining about anything at all. I always consider things by putting myself in another's place without flinching, no matter how hard and heart-rending it is to live. If there's someone unfortunate, I'll be there with him with anything I can give. If I can forget myself to help out, that will surely delight me. In the morning the sun rises and I greet it. I'll do my best to live today. In the evening the sun sets. Staring at the evening glow, I want to sit still. With a little dream

[38:48]

in my heart, I sleep as quietly as a bird. If I have my own time, I want to spend it reading an old collection of poems, meditating on them alone, quietly. And he closes by saying, Let's find happiness by ourselves. Within silver tears like pearls and laughter like the sun, let's keep walking ahead each day. Certainly someday as I look back over my past, I will quietly see my life. So thank you very much. Please take refuge in whatever gives you strength and courage, in whatever is dangerous. Don't fly back to what's safe, because when you get there,

[39:49]

it won't be there. And remember that all of us have broken lives, and some of us become strong in the broken places. And to that value and virtue, our practice is dedicated this morning. Thank you very much. May our intention May our intention May our intention

[40:19]

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