You know, one of the most frequently asked questions to me is about how do I control my anger? How do I control my resentment? How do I accept criticism? How do I give criticism? This is like the mire or the real nitty-gritty of human relations. It's basically the relationship between myself and others. So we have two precepts which deal with this kind of question.

[01:17]

The sixth precept and the seventh precept. The sixth precept is, I resolve not to dwell on the mistakes of others. And the seventh precept is, I resolve not to praise myself and downgrade others. So if we think about this, we realize that so much of our human contention with each other revolves around these two precepts. So to resolve not to dwell on the mistakes of others. And the creative side of that precept is to create wisdom from ignorance. How do we create wisdom from ignorance?

[02:27]

Because what is ignorance? Ignorance is, in this case, only seeing the subject-object distinction between ourselves and others. I am right and you are wrong. I have my idea, you have your idea. I act in this way, you act in that way. So, in this way, we only see the distinction. which is the basis of contention. So as long as we only see this distinction, we're caught in the attachment to our self, hard as it is to realize.

[03:31]

We're caught in the attachment to self, into self-righteousness, and the distinction between right and wrong. There is right and wrong, but there's also the attachment to right and wrong. So how do we relate? How do we accept criticism and how do we let others know when we think they're not correct according to our understanding. How do we find the balance without creating

[04:40]

a contention. How can we, you know, each one of us has faults. And each one of us has a place where there's no fault. This is in the realm of comparative values. In the realm of comparative values, there's fault and no fault. In the realm of no comparative values, there are simply things that are correct and things that are not correct. But when things which are correct and not correct are turned into, I'm right and you're wrong, then it puts the case into a whole different perspective.

[05:49]

So to be able to see clearly what is correct and not correct from both a subjective or an objective point of view, one has to let go of the idea of self and other. But we really cling to self and other. There's a story of Tokusan. Tokusan was a very famous Zen master in the Tang Dynasty. And originally he was very feisty. But in his old age, He became very mellow. And he had two very good disciples, Seppo and Ganto, who were both also very well-known Zen masters.

[07:00]

And Seppo used to go around to various monasteries and cook the rice. Anyway, without getting into who Seppo and Ganto are too much, they're great people. A lot of good stories. But one day, Seppo was cooking, and he ran over the time. And Tokusan said to himself, it's time for dinner. So he took his bowls and started walking toward the dining room or the zendo, or wherever they were having dinner. And Ganto encountered him and he said, where are you going? And Tokuzan said, I'm going to dinner. And Ganto said, well, the bell hasn't rung yet.

[08:08]

So, Togasan turned around and went back to his room. And Ganto thought, I've taught him something. This is a longer story, but the point is, Ganto didn't, Tokusan didn't say anything. He didn't say, why, how come the bell hasn't rung yet? He didn't say, well it's really time for dinner and we should be eating now. He didn't say anything to Tokusan, to Ganto. He simply turned around and walked away. walk back to his room.

[09:11]

This is an example of not holding anything. Not holding, I am right, he is wrong, you're right or you're wrong. There's no right and wrong involved here. There's no blame and no praise. There's simply, oh, This is what happened. So he allowed his student to correct him. He didn't feel that he was being put on a lower level because his student was correcting him. Simply nothing. Simply, oh, this is the thing to do now. So this is an attitude, example of attitude, which is not concerned with praise and blame, with holding something up and putting something down, with somebody being right and somebody being wrong.

[10:28]

Simply acting according to the situation, doing the appropriate action according to the situation. It seems like a simple no-brainer, but that's exactly what it is. Simple no-brainer. Just set the brain aside. But we always get into it. We always feel something. How come he's telling me what to do? Things should have been different. We run into this all the time. All the time. The servers in Sashin, always having a little

[11:35]

arguments. They're little so-and-so telling me what to do, always telling me what to do. They never do anything right. So we get this stuff grinding up in our emotional box. And it just kind of sits there and grinds away. So this is because We think in terms of them and that person and me. Someone's a little higher, someone's a little lower. But this gets into the seventh precept. I resolve not to praise myself and downgrade others.

[12:38]

So praising self means to put myself into a certain position. And downgrading others means to see someone else on a lower position. And the person in the higher position doesn't want the person in the lower position to tell them anything. And the person in the lower position doesn't want the person in the higher position to tell them anything. Don't tell me. So this is, you know, hierarchy exists wherever we are and wherever there are more than two people or two or more people, there's hierarchy. In a marriage, there's hierarchy. one person has strength in certain areas, another person has weakness in certain areas, and the person has strength in certain areas as an edge in some way.

[13:45]

And so you're always finding the balance. But when you fall in love, you let go of all that. You fall in love and then you let go of you and me, because we're one. But then as... when the honeymoon is over, then we fall into you and me. You're always bugging me, you know, about this, and you're bugging me about that, and you want to do this, now I do that, and so we start criticizing. And then we fall into the duality of you and me. And then when you make up, you re-establish your relationship, and then you're in love again, and that doesn't matter.

[14:51]

You can say whatever you want to the other person, hopefully, without it falling into criticism. So criticism, we all have faults and our faults need to be pointed out to us. But there's pointing out a fault as a fault, not as you, but simply as something that's not working right. So we have to see where things are not working right and we call that a fault. But when we think, I am at fault, then we cling to our ego. So how do we express or point out when something is not balanced or not correct without

[15:55]

falling into, I told you so, or, you see, if I tell you so, then it puts me on a higher level than you. How do we remain on the same level without creating, while at the same time, not eliminating the hierarchy. So what these precepts are about, you know, is about not clinging to the duality of you and me. There is you and there's me.

[17:02]

But when we cling to that, then we cling to separation. When we point out a fault, we have to realize that it's my fault as well. If you realize that it's my fault as well as your fault, then you're not creating a separation. So only you're creating a separation when you see the fault of somebody and then you see the good of yourself. As soon as you see the good of yourself or cling to the good of yourself, then I'm good and you're bad. And then there's no way that the person is going to accept what you say. So this is called identification. Dogen talks about identification with whoever it is that you're responding to.

[18:11]

If you are talking to a criminal, you have to identify with that person, with the criminal in yourself. pointing out a mistake to someone, you have to identify with that mistake within yourself. You have to become that person. And then you can let go, hopefully not make the same mistake yourself. But we're all prone to making these mistakes or the faults that we point out to others. And often the mistakes or faults that we point out to others are mistakes that we really have ourselves.

[19:16]

Sometimes it's a way of distancing ourselves from our own mistakes. But to identify is the most important thing. So when you point out something to someone, you both look at the fault, and you're both sitting in the same seat. And this is pointing out a fault, but it's not fault finding. Fault-finding is when you're looking for faults or when you're objectifying the faults of others and not identifying with them. So there's a difference between looking at what faults are or what a problem is

[20:26]

and trying to find fault. Because one way of raising yourself up is to put others down. If you can't find your own place, which is high enough, you have to put others down in order to be up there. And this is quite common. So both praise and blame are a dualistic way of thinking. People say sometimes, well, we hear a lot about false, but we don't hear much about praise. And I think that's true. We usually point out false. We don't usually point up praise. we should be careful not to be attached to either one.

[21:30]

So we're not looking for position and we're not looking for faults. Most of the things, most of the faults, if I were to point out all the faults I see, I would be doing nothing but fault finding all day long. But the faults are, in one sense, they're faults. In another sense, they're simply the way things go. So if we can see that faults are simply the way things go, and at the same time work on correcting them, And there's no praise or blame. So in the seventh precept, I resolve not to praise myself and downgrade others.

[22:46]

The creative side is to maintain modesty and put others first. Maintaining modesty means to not compare yourself with others. Just because you're bad doesn't mean I'm good. And putting others first is to be concerned for the welfare of others and to let go of needing to be acknowledged. needing to be seen or needing to be in first place or to win the game.

[24:06]

Sometimes we have a need to be recognized. And so we scrambled to be in first place all the time. So you give your seat to someone else and you stand up. This is the way it used to be on buses. and you open the door for someone else. Or I remember this profound thing that a student said one time. She said, my mother always taught me that after you brush your teeth you clean out the sink so that the next person that brushes their teeth will not have

[25:23]

residue in the sink. It's profound. Something that Robert Aitken said was, when you let go of your old perceptions, you give people a chance to change. when you don't let go of your own perceptions, I'm sorry, when you do not let go, you are participating in the continuation of their faults. So, this means we have an idea about somebody, You know, we have a first impression, second impression, knowledgeable impression, and then we say, this is the way this person is.

[26:33]

And when we stick to that perception, we act out through that perception and Whenever we meet that person or see that person, we say, I know who this person is. I know what their reactions are going to be. I know what they're going to say, blah, blah. And often because of that, they act out that way. But to be able to see somebody for the first time, every time, is to allow them, to give them the opportunity to not be what you think they are. This is enlightened attitude, is to have no preconceptions, not to hold to preconceptions, and not to have some fixed idea.

[27:48]

just because you know something. That person may act the way you think they're going to, but you always give them the opportunity to act differently by not having any preconception, even though it always turns out the same. This is called patience. Great patience. And the only way that we can bring forth transformation is through this kind of great patience and without preconceptions and leaving the space for something to happen. That's called creating wisdom from ignorance.

[28:53]

Ignorance is to think that you know what's going to happen. So then, You know, what do I do with my anger? How do I deal with when somebody criticizes me and I have anger? Or they do something and I have anger. How do I let go of anger? Well, anger is a very strong emotion. And the strength that comes up through anger can be turned. And if we have the right perspective, we can turn the anger toward

[30:09]

doing something correctly. Anger is blind, blinding. So if we can just step back and combine anger with patience, we can really allow ourselves to see what's happening. And that strong motivation allows us to not back off, but to pursue something to the end. In other words, the anger can be turned to work for something good rather than destructive.

[31:35]

So anger can, you know, we can either bomb people or the anger can lead us to find the correct solution. because it's a highly motivating force. So how do we respond with anger to what we feel is unrighteous? It can lead us to find the correct solution They can go either way. And our stubbornness can be turned into perseverance. Stubbornness is a great quality. You know, like a mule.

[32:45]

Mule won't go the way you want him to, but if you try and hold him, very powerful. He'll drag you all over the place. I have rope burns to prove it. But that stubbornness is also what gives you staying power and determination to stay with something all the way to the end. And passivity can be turned into patience. great patience to persevere, to stay, to not be pushed around, not be moved, to not be in a hurry.

[33:51]

Patience means staying in your place on this moment without anxiety, or with anxiety, or with fear. Just be there with it. And insincerity can be turned to great love. and conceit can be turned to real leadership when we let go of self-centeredness. What is real leadership? Real leadership is being on time, being in your place,

[34:57]

taking care of what needs to be taken care of, being careful and alert and responsive. You don't have to lead. All you have to do is lead yourself. And just do everything the way you're supposed to. And then that's leadership. without complaining or, you know, getting upset at things. No need to be conceited because you're not doing anything special. But everything you do is the way it should be. That's leadership. But if you take the wave the flag and say charge, that's not always leadership.

[36:06]

Leadership is just ordinary activity done sincerely. When we all do that, we're all taking responsibility. So, you know, when we come to the Zendo, we may think they have a zendo and they have a practice and I'm going to go there. But actually, you have a zendo, you have a practice. It's you, it's not somebody else. When you realize it's not somebody else, but it's me, just showing up, just doing what things as correctly as I can. I'm the leadership. It's not them.

[37:11]

We have to get rid of this idea of them and us. Each one of us is in a certain position, vertically. But we're all the same, horizontally. So, when each one of us takes care of our practice, just as our practice, we're teaching everybody how to practice. and everybody is a teacher. That's all you have to do. You don't have to do something special. All you have to do is demonstrate your practice. You don't have to know a lot.

[38:18]

You don't have to know all the doctrines of Buddhism. Because all that those doctrines are about is doing your practice. So when you just practice without doing anything special, you're writing the Sutra. This is fertile ground for questions, but we're having sashay today, so we don't have time for that. Thank you.

[39:17]

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