Good morning. Welcome to the first day of Rohatsu Seishin. It's already just the feeling in here this morning, very strong and deep and quiet. It's just sort of humbling to take it in and recognize that that each of us is making this happen. A lot of us have been sitting together for a long time and so we even though Rohatsu is special the practice is not so special and we know how to do it but there's something extraordinary that comes together when we sit like this and have this intention to be together for however many days we'll be here.

[01:03]

Some of us will be here seven, some fewer, but everybody's practice affects the whole. I'm remembering, I was remembering this morning, When I first encountered an ongoing Rohatu session, it was in the early 1980s, I suspect that some of you in this room, Raoul and Ron, and maybe Richard, I'm not sure, who else were actually sitting in. James, is James still here? Yeah. And walking in for afternoon Zazen at about 5.40 Zazen, regular time, and all of a sudden I walked in and was like, wow, there's something else going on.

[02:16]

there was a kind of energy and depth and intensity in the room that I had not seen. This is shortly after I began to practice here regularly and I just said to myself, well I'm not going to miss this again. Next time it comes around, I would really like to be part of it. And that's the way I've felt year by year. I don't think I've missed too many. So I'd like to talk about Shasheen practice to help all of us and myself get settled. There's a large question of what we're doing here together.

[03:20]

And there's a wonderful lecture that I found by Suzuki Roshi in Not Always So that speaks to this. It's called Resuming Big Mind. And I looked around and found online It was the first day, it was a lecture that he gave the first day of the Seven Day Sachine in February of 1971, so 40 years ago. And he's answering this question, what are we doing here? try to do, and this sort of merges on plagiarism perhaps, but I'm going to read from this lecture, I'm not going to read all of it, but read and sort of comment interwoven my own words with his, so sometimes I may indicate where the switch happens and sometimes you'll have to

[04:34]

just accept the flow of words. For me, I'd say, when I begin any activity, some of you may have a similar experience, there's an area of passage that has to be negotiated. A time you know, at the beginning of sasheen or the beginning of a journey when a lot of doubt comes up and you know, the question of what is it that I'm doing here also the question, can I do this? and that can be very difficult I've learned over the years, I've learned to endure this.

[05:40]

I've learned that this is just the passage that I have to go through. And the faith that has arisen in me is the faith that things are not always so. That they change. That the the doubt that I may be feeling or the in a crass way you could say it's like sometimes manifests as the urge to instead of being here sitting here cross-legged to be in bed watching television that urge will pass I mean in point of fact That's not my idea of fun, and I probably wouldn't be doing that, but it's just a feeling of wanting things to be mysteriously different from how they are.

[06:48]

So Suzuki Roshi gives you a framework for this. It says the purpose of Sesshin is to be completely one with our practice. We use two Chinese characters for Sesshin. Setsu, which shortens to Sess, means to treat something the way you treat a guest, or the way a student treats his teacher. So to treat something in a respectful and careful way. another way, he says, another way of meaning another meaning of setsu is to control or arrange things in order you could use the word regulate to put things in the proper order in the proper relationship to each other in the way that we align all of the inhabitants of the altar

[07:58]

in just the right way. The way that we carefully place our Zafu at the end of a period of Zazen, and make sure that there is an even space between each Zavaton. The way we arrange our bowls during Oryoki. So that's the meaning of Setsu or Setsu. And shin means heart or mind. So shishin means to have proper functioning of mind, or the proper order of mind, or regulated mind. Regulate not in the sense of controlling, but in the sense of bringing it to balance. When we control our monkey mind... oh, sorry. So, Tse Chi means to have proper functioning of mind.

[08:59]

It is our five senses and our will, or five senses, or our small monkey mind, which should be controlled. When we control our monkey mind, we resume our true big mind. When monkey mind is actually taking over the activity of big mind, we naturally become a monkey. So monkey mind must have its boss, which is big mind. But actually what he's talking about, and he explains it, and it goes to this next paragraph, is not control, boss has a certain It has certain baggage in our language which is useful as he presents it. It challenges us. But he doesn't mean one mind exerts power or authority over the other.

[10:04]

It's the question of how to have a well-regulated mind and in a sense who is running whom. When I sit here, if I sit and think, wow, I'd like to be home and dead watching TV, that's my monkey mind. That's my small, narrow mind which is not paying attention to what I really deeply enjoy, which is just sitting here. how relaxing that is. It's not without effort, but it's touching something very deep that I don't get to touch every moment. It's always available. The question is how do we do this?

[11:10]

So he says, however when we practice Zazen, it is not that big mind is actually controlling small mind, but simply that when small mind becomes calm, big mind starts its true activity. So this is a natural activity. This is the outcome of simply sitting upright and receiving whatever thoughts, whatever senses whatever realities, whatever experience, whatever food, whatever comes our way. That's allowing big mind to manifest. And one thing I think when we talk about mind in this setting one of the wonderful aspects of the practice that we have been given is that it's

[12:16]

something that we do together. We're sitting next to each other and even though there are all of these individual bodies and minds manifesting here, there's one large mind and large intimacy with many distinct limbs that's being constantly created and recreated moment by moment in this space. And it's a rare opportunity. People, even though it's a very natural thing to do, most people don't have this opportunity to create, not just to touch or regulate mind, but to enter the space of this mind together.

[13:17]

Each sasheen that I've sat is different in ways that it's impossible to characterize or describe. It's different because the time is different. It's different because there are different people in the room. And each one is wonderful and unique in that way. So he says, that's why we should practice zazen. Well, I'm sorry. When small mind becomes calm, big mind starts its true activity. That's why we should practice zazen and be completely involved in resuming big mind. A good example of our practice is a turtle, which has four legs, a head and a tail, six parts of the body which are sometimes outside the shell and sometimes inside.

[14:21]

When you want to eat or go somewhere, your legs are out, but if they are always out, you will be caught on something. You have these things that are sticking out. walk up to, if I'm kind of rushing a little up to my house. We have these other things that are sticking out called sleeves or robes. And I may catch on the banister. Something gets caught. In case of danger, you draw in your legs, head and tail. That's what a turtle does. There are six parts. The six parts refer to the five senses and the mind. This is sasheen. For one week, our head, tail and legs are inside the shell.

[15:24]

That's great. If we can do that, that's really the way to practice. To draw them in, and really pay attention to myself and whatever is arising. Sometimes, in the course of Seshin, particularly in the course of entering Seshin, maybe these limbs are only half retracted. There's something still sticking out. So we have to be careful. We have to be careful about what might catch our attention or catch our robes or catch us in places that are habitually sticking out. In zazen we do not try to stop thinking or cut off hearing and seeing. If something appears in your mind, leave it.

[16:32]

If you hear something, hear it and just accept it. Oh, that is all. No second activity should appear in your zazen. There's always a question of, well, what is it I do when a thought arises? When I'm giving beginner's instruction, I often say, people have this idea that they're supposed to have a blank mind and get rid of their thoughts. And I say, well, if you just wait long enough, that'll happen. It's called being dead. That's when there'll be no more thoughts. but if you actually settle into practice what you find is that there's real space between each thought and the thoughts slow down you can sense this space which is miraculous and when a thought comes you may notice it, you may just be able easily to let it go

[17:57]

sit and give it a moment of attention, like hold it in the palm of your hand and say, oh, oh is enough. I see you and let it go, let it fly off. So he says, no second activity should appear in your zazen. Sound is one activity, So it's actually this receptive quality of our senses in our mind. That's the first activity and he's suggesting that is a mind that we allow freely to manifest in Zazen. So you could say Hearing, but not listening.

[18:59]

Seeing, but not looking. Cognizing, maybe, not such a good word, but not thinking or not making up stories or narratives. So the mind is receptive, but you leave You leave it in this very receptive space without trying to take it further. The second activity, he says, is what is that sound? Is it a motor car or a garbage truck or something? If you hear a sound, that's all. You hear it. Don't make any judgment. Don't try to figure out what it is. Just open your ears and hear something. Just open your eyes and see something. So then he gets to something else that happens in Sajin. It doesn't tend to happen for me so much anymore, but it really did for a long time.

[20:09]

When you're sitting for a pretty long time, watching the same place on the wall, you may see various images. It looks like a river, or it looks like a dragon. So these things appear on the wall, where they appear from. It's our mind interacting with the wall. And those images can be quite entrancing. And sometimes they can be quite vivid. Suzuki Roshi says, dwelling on the images may be a good way to kill time. But it is not Sajid. So it's like, you may as well be in bed watching television, you know, but let those images go.

[21:12]

To be concentrated on something may be important. But just to have a well-concentrated mind is not a zazen. This is something that many of us need to clarify for ourselves. Concentration is just one of the elements of practice, but calmness of mind is also necessary. So, concentration, there are many meditation practices in all traditions. All of them include concentration. Some of them are more particularly concentration practices.

[22:13]

And some approaches to Zen emphasize this very strongly. What he's saying, he says calmness of mind is also necessary. What I remember from very earliest times here, Sogen Roshi back then was often lecturing, and he still does, lecturing on these Theravada or early Buddhist systems of dharmas. So he would talk about the seven factors of enlightenment. All of these factors interact to create the spirit of zazen, not just concentration. The other factors are mindfulness, just awareness of

[23:18]

of each arising moment. Investigation, the mind that's looking at, in a very open way, at what my experience is. Energy, the energy it takes to just to sit cross-legged, to maintain an upright posture. Joy, an often overlooked one. We look really serious when we're sitting here. But joy and a kind of lightness is really necessary. I was really thinking about this. Have people seen the video of What is it?

[24:19]

The Berkley's Exeter? What's it called? Holplow Mountain. Right. That's where we are, right? Okay. People have seen that. The footage with Sojan, he's often sort of giggling. I don't think of them in this kind of Pollyanna fashion, but It's really striking in the video. There's a lightness. There's a lightness that comes with practice and I've experienced it with people that I see as really alive and awake. That's joy. Piti, I think is the word in Pali. Is that right? P-I-T-I? Tranquility. then concentration and equanimity. So all these factors are working together. They're all cooking here.

[25:19]

It may not be all of them. It's all of them in different ratio to each other at any given moment, but all of them are there. That's our practice. There are some places that describe... I read something by one quite well-known teacher about Shikantaza who describes Shikantaza as sitting with such energy that you're sweating bullets. That's not the practice that Suzuki Roshi is talking about. So this balance, it's always a balance. Concentration which is necessary. Not sitting here, that's why he says watching those images on the wall is not Sachine, it's not Zazen. That's just drifting, dreaming. So we need some concentration, but we also need some calmness to accept whatever is arising for us.

[26:28]

That's how to free your true mind when you can do so in everyday life, then you will have a soft mind. So, this is an interesting turn, because we've gone from Seshin to one of the things that he's always holding up, which is, how do you live? Seshin is not different from your life. Seshin is living right now. James? You know, I'm puzzled by the comment that if you see something on the wall, which I actually don't, but I can imagine people doing that, and you look at it, that somehow that's not Sajin. I mean, on the one hand, I hear Sajin is to accept So sheen is to concentrate?

[27:37]

So sheen is to kind of regulate? He doesn't say not look at. He says not dwell. But aren't we dwelling here? You're dwelling... I'm sorry? Aren't we dwelling here for the time that we are here? We are dwelling. You are dwelling. But in this case dwelling, as he's describing, means being caught on any particular thought or image. But isn't that part of, so she's getting caught? Only if you can let go. If what you're doing is just getting caught, yes, it's an activity. The challenge is to free yourself over and over again, to get caught and free yourself. So, don't take this too literally.

[28:41]

This is a problem that people have with Suzuki Roshi, or Sogen, or Dharma Talks, that what you're hearing is somehow you hear the should, very very strongly. One hears the should. What I believe the way Dharma talks or teachings work is they're an effort to bring you back into balance. So I've been studying this. And I would say, my mind is not, the way my mind works, it tends to be somewhat busy. Concentration is not my strength. Some people have really, really strong concentration.

[29:46]

I used to talk with Meili about this. Concentration, she was very good at concentration. That was not a problem. For me, it's not so hard to drift. So this information is really useful. It's a remedy. It brings me, it's like a homeopathic remedy. It brings me back somewhat into balance. So don't take it too literally. Dwelling, yes, we are dwelling. But dwelling means also letting go and moving, allowing yourself to move freely from one moment to the next. I mean, aren't there levels, and I have like this lowest common denominator that just sitting is helping other people, even if they're failing at meditation. On every level I can just sit still for other people and be a strength in that way, participating here.

[30:54]

I mean, that's something that we hold as a value. But I would say you can't fail at meditation. What does that mean, fail at meditation? Did I say fail? You did. And you were very successful in saying fail. You brought up an essential point. But we're constantly This is the thing, we're constantly falling off. He's giving this, not because there isn't small mind, but because there is small mind, so we're falling off into it and returning. Resuming big mind is not something that we, let me go on, but it's not something that, oh, we walk into Sikhin and we throw a switch, and we've all of a sudden It's something that in the course of seishin what we notice is falling away, coming back.

[32:03]

Falling away, coming back. That is precisely practice, sazen, seishin, and over time what you notice is that you can dwell exactly in that process. You know how to do it. You know how to return. You know how to resume big mind, which then includes a small mind. So, let me go on. If you have generous big mind, we have a strong spirit of practice, there is no need to worry. Dogen emphasized a sparse, simple life. without expecting anything we just practice our way that's not so easy that's not necessarily the world that we live in that may be the world that a monk lived in in the 13th century and even though few of us are wealthy and

[33:20]

Few of us are living really extravagant lives, but still it may be an exaggeration to say a sparse, simple life. Here, during Sashin, we sort of set that. But even so, it's relatively warm here, the food is delicious, the company is good, You know, it's simple, but it depends on abundance as well. There's no holes in the roof, the wind isn't blowing through. We're very fortunate. So, how we maintain Big Mind in the midst of abundance, that's also pretty difficult. That's the challenge of the world that we live in, in our present circumstances here.

[34:31]

Many students there asked Dogen, how would it be possible to support the temple or group without any plan? And Dogen said, if it becomes difficult to support our temple, we will think about it. necessary to think about it. So before something happens, it is not our way to think about it too much. In that we have complete calmness of our mind. Because you have something, you worry about losing it. But if you don't have anything, there is no need to worry. Well, we all have some things. And This section is a particular challenge. I find it really challenging. So before something happens, it's not our way to think about it too much. That's a really good attitude to have. It means not planning too much, but watching what arises.

[35:47]

I would say that our teacher is actually pretty good at it. For me, I don't think Sojourn was actually ever so good at planning. He doesn't have that habitual turn of mind. But unfortunately I do. And so that's what I have to work with. And it changes. I remember early Sachins used to There was a certain anxiety I had, I would come down, first couple of years, I wanted to see, oh what's my job? Does anyone still do that? What job did I have for Sushi? And you know, look at the list and see. And, you know, want to think about the job in advance. How I was going to do it or what I was going to do. I knew that was really bad sense too.

[36:49]

But, nonetheless, that was my propensity. It doesn't happen so much. Well, I have a job for this one. But, in general, I don't think about Sashim much in advance. Someone always used to say this, and I always said, oh sure, right, you don't think about Sashim. But actually, I think a lot of us have probably gotten to that place where Sachine comes. You may think it's coming, but there's nothing to do about it. There's nothing to prepare. And when it's time to show up, we sit down. So we don't have to plan in advance. Some people, I mean if you talk to Jake, some people are planning for us. You know, they're working really hard, but we delegate that job to them. But in general, we don't have to take, and that's their job, in the moment, you know, the days before Seshin, that's when the work arises for the Seshin director.

[38:04]

When Seshin comes, we sit down. When the bell rings, we get up. So in our practice we rely on something great and sit in that great space. The pain you have in your legs or some other difficulty is happening in that great space. As long as you do not lose the feeling that you are in the realm of Buddha nature, you can sit even though you have some difficulty. When you want to escape from your difficulty, Or when you try to improve your practice, you create another problem for yourself. But if you just exist there, then you have the chance to appreciate your surroundings. Then you can accept yourself completely without changing anything. That's our practice. Now, to me, that's...

[39:09]

Suzuki Roshi in Zen Mind Beginner's Mind, and not always so, he slips in these very simple, straightforward sounding propositions that are really, really difficult. The words are very simple, but the activity is just one step beyond what we can easily accomplish it's true we're sitting in this big space it's true we are in the realm of buddha nature and it's very difficult not to get caught on whatever problem we have perhaps I settle too easily, but it relates to what Nancy and I were talking about.

[40:31]

It relates to having a difficulty, recognizing I have this difficulty, letting go of it. If it really needs attention, it comes back. I don't think of it as something I need to fix necessarily, but I may work with it, I may try to hold it very lightly. And recognize that the difficulty that I have, if it's a physical difficulty, a mental difficulty, a difficulty sitting cross-legged, One thing that comes up for me as I encounter that is, oh, I'm alive. How fortunate that is, even though it may be painful right at this moment. That I'm alive gives me an ability to respond.

[41:39]

That's how I see the practice that we're doing. Suzuki Roshi says, to exist in big mind is an act of faith, which is different from the usual faith of believing in a particular idea or being. It's to believe that something is supporting us and supporting all our activities, including thinking mind and emotional feelings. What I would say is, this act of faith, faith as an action, is not just believing that something is supporting us, but recognizing that in this place of sitting upright here for these days, I am supporting everything. And in turn, that is supporting me. So it's completely To me it's the mutual accountability of my individual life and all of you in this room and all of us in this whole planetary environment.

[43:04]

It's not just that it's supporting us and me, but that my actions are making it move, are keeping the world spinning. If you are brave enough to throw yourself into zazen for seven days, a little bit of understanding will help your rigidity and your stubbornness. Well, this is what we hope anyway. It may not. I don't think anybody is going to walk out of here as hung up or stubborn as they were when they walked in, but after a few days you may find it again.

[44:07]

to learn how to let go of that place is really precious to see you know, as I said, a lot of us, we've been sitting here a long time together we see each other's, we see the places or we think we see the places where our friends and ourselves are still maybe stuck But we also, what's incredibly encouraging is to see how we are changing over time in ways that are really evident and to feel it in oneself. And to feel it in oneself in relation to our sisters and brothers, people that we're sitting with, people that we're working with in the world. Almost all the problems you create because of your stubborn mind will vanish, he says. He's very optimistic.

[45:17]

If you have even the smallest understanding of reality, your way of thinking will change completely, and the problems you create will not be problems anymore. But it's also true, okay, it's also true that as long as we live, we will have problems. So we don't practice Zazen to attain some big enlightenment that will change our whole being or solve all our problems. The problems are not going to go away, but our capacity for engaging with them and engaging with each other changes and grows. In Sistine we concentrate on having the experience of true practice. Forgetting all about gaining, any idea of gaining anything, we just sit here. That's without defining what it is that we're doing, without trying to pin it in, pin it down, but just to be receptive and to be responsive to each moment.

[46:26]

I love the way this ends. He says, if this room is too cold, we will make it warm. And if your legs become too painful, you can stretch them. And if it's too difficult, you can rest. But let's continue our practice for these seven days. So, there's no effort to make it any harder on any of us than It needs to be. He's offering a certain measure of comfort and recognizing that it's within our human capacity to just sit here and, you know, break your legs. But sit here and practice together and continue to do that for seven days and then for seven years

[47:34]

And as long as we have, as long as we have this breath and this life. So, just take a few minutes for questions or for comments. Yeah, Alan, thanks for your talk. Thank you. That image of the turtle drawing the legs, but that's also an act of defense for the turtle. And so we're not coming here to defend ourselves against the world, withdrawing, retreating to gather strength to go back and be able to deal with the world, although in some way there's something of that, but we're also It's like we're throwing away our shell.

[48:40]

I really feel this at the end of Seshin, very open, and that's when I feel like I have to be very careful, because I'm not just open to good things, I'm open to reactivity, because I've stripped away that. that shell to some degree. So I think, yeah, it's probably good not to push that metaphor too far. Right, it's not about... It's not... I mean, the important thing, I think, that I'm hearing you say, it's not about a kind of instinctive defending reaction. we should be really careful and try actually not to defend, but to open. Thank you. That's a useful clarification. James? I really like what you said about joy.

[49:47]

To me, that is the core, in essence, of what I want to is the sense of joy in this strange thing we do together. And often it isn't or sound joyous. I think that over the years I've found so much joy in that practice. Yeah, well I think that, as I said, I think that's an element.

[50:52]

The tricky side is if you positive too strongly then at any given moment somebody who's not feeling particularly joyous thinks there's something, oh I'm deficient everybody else is really having a great time at this party but me, I'm struggling a lot to just let it arise as an element is enough And to, again, if you have this whole blend and sort of co-arising of the seven factors of enlightenment, if you practice mindfulness, you will notice, oh, there's moments when I'm joyful. This should not be a grim activity, but it's

[51:57]

It's also hard. This is not so easy. But I think that over time, again, as we cultivate together, there's a joyousness in this community that I really value. And it brings it out in me. And I think I see it coming out in all kinds of people. And I see us change, and I see us being able to contribute joyfully. When you were talking about Sojin giggling in the video, I was remembering reading about the Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu, who were good friends who had plenty of hard times. And that when they get together, they giggle together. Yeah, I saw them on TV. It was like, these guys are... I don't know.

[53:02]

What were they drinking, you know? The people that I've met who were awakened, seemed like to me, awakened human beings, which is not to say that they don't have their shadows or dark sides, but they have a quality of lightness and I would say that's a good thing to hold as an aspiration. Not to judge yourself about whether you are or are not that way, but just to hold it as an aspiration because what I would say is They weren't born that way. To me, the exemplar in our family is Oitsu Suzuki, who had a very hard life, and yet, everywhere he goes, he cultivates joy, and he really

[54:15]

He communicates, he transmits it in a way that you can get it. And this is how we can help each other. Judy. An angle on some of this that's occurring to me is I think many of us, I certainly put myself in this group, have had a long history and tradition of judgmental notions and ideas of things one should do as opposed to other things. And if one is carrying around that baggage, then you're... and one is. Then when you try to let go of a thought or whatever, you may actually find that you are Assuming that all these things you're trying to let go of are delicious and wonderful and you should, like a good Puritan, deny yourself that great pleasure.

[55:26]

And it's quite the opposite in a sense. But it can be confusing because one is so in the habit of assuming that whatever you're making an effort to draw is somehow attractive, when in fact it might be a great joy. Yeah, it might be. The dynamics of, maybe we'll get, I think we'll get later in the week, we'll have the opportunity to talk about what does letting go look like? A couple more, Linda? Just about Desmond Tutu, I always remember something I heard that he said when he was in charge of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission and so many things were coming in front of him and one particularly horrible story that he listened to and it was on national TV and it said that he put his head down on the desk and cried.

[56:41]

And later, he made a comment, maybe I'm not the right man for this job. I cry and laugh too easily. Which seems like he's the right man for the job. I think that's good, yeah. Both cry and laugh. That's, to me, that's called, actually, Taigan said the same thing. That's called responsibility. Tom? By the way, it's nice to see you. You made the comment about the giggling, that they weren't born that way. So I was wondering, maybe actually they were born that way. Well, there's character and there's cultivation. They may have been born giggling, but you can cultivate joy and let it bubble up. I have no confidence in that. I think I want to stop there and just also say that lectures this week will be shared.

[57:53]

I will give some. Raoul will lecture tomorrow, right? Karen will also lecture and so we'll have an opportunity to to really hear from a number of people, and to hear how the Dharma of one taste has also an individual character, a character that's expressed through Raoul's practice, my practice, Sharon's practice, and each of our practices. taste.

[58:41]

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