Good morning. Did Julia leave? Did Julia? Is Julia here? One of the members of the Sashim was called away due to her father being critically ill, so Julia Summers, who was sitting on the floor, the first seat here, had to leave. So maybe we can do a well-being ceremony or something. So, this morning I was late to breakfast and I didn't hear the Han ending,

[01:07]

soji, because I was deep in a conversation about karma, which was just an everyday event that happened in my family, and just looking at what the response would be to this event, and was there any leaning towards greed, or what was the appropriate response. So, I was deep in this discussion, and then I thought, you haven't heard the Han, and then when I got down here, the clappers had clapped, and so I decided not to come in late, but I missed having breakfast with all of you.

[02:10]

How was breakfast? Good? Yesterday at tea, right before tea, the period right before tea, the room, the Zenda, was bathed in golden light coming in through the western windows and falling on the altar, and Shakyamuni Buddha was glowing, and all of you were glowing. It looked like a golden palace filled with beautiful beings sitting quietly, and then there was a lovely rhythmic noise, and we all turned,

[03:15]

and then kind people came and brought us hot beverages and delicious treats to eat. Did you notice this yesterday afternoon? And I had a kind of upwelling of appreciation, watching the servers bow to you, and you bowing back, and taking your food and drink, all very harmonious. So, this is the third day of Sashin, and you may have noticed a kind of settling. You may have noticed that your eyes are clear.

[04:16]

You may have noticed that there's little green plants popping up all over, and newts that are woggling around. You have to watch out for the newts. And quail, and a pale sky washed with clouds, and a waxing moon. Have you noticed? Have you noticed? Did you see them? You could hear them? There was a kind of yip-yip over here, and yowl. The first part of the song was a yip-yip. Coyotes, and wolves, and owls. So, we may be feeling alive, more alive.

[05:25]

this is not the purpose of our sitting, to appreciate the world. We're not sitting in order to appreciate the world, but this happens. In fact, this is our sitting. But if we're looking for some special effects, some heavenly feelings, some heavenly sights, this is extra. Extra. So, let's not go looking for the heavenly sights,

[07:00]

but allow whatever arises to arise, and without sticking to things, without grasping after things, just being clearly aware. I think this is a point well worth repeating, which is not to use our zazen for things, not to use our practice to create alternate states, or heavenly realms, or to lose weight, or something. You know, to use our zazen practice for some purpose, something we want. I remember being at Tassajar when I was Ino,

[08:07]

and somebody saying that they planned to lose about ten pounds during Sashin. They had their meal kind of set up. So, this is not an elaborate diet, South Beach, West Coast, Green Dragon diet. Yeah. But we get, when our mind gets, we begin to stick to things. So, letting go, even of the... We're happy to let go of what's uncomfortable and painful, but we stick, we get a little sticky around the beautiful, the so-called beautiful and marvelous. So, the first day I read that recipe for unhappiness

[09:26]

and how to get rid of unhappiness, today I wanted to read, this isn't really a recipe, but it's Master Hui Tang's letter to Master Jiang. And it's kind of a recipe for being in the world without misery. And there's five points. The first is, these are things to remember in order to be in the world without misery. Are you interested in being in the world without misery? The first is, what has long been neglected cannot be restored immediately. What has long been neglected cannot be restored immediately. And the second one, which is similar,

[10:28]

is ills that have been accumulating for a long time cannot be cleared away immediately. The third point is, one cannot enjoy oneself forever. One cannot enjoy oneself forever. And the fourth is, human emotions can never be just right. Human emotions can never be just right. And the last is, calamity cannot be avoided by trying to run away from it. And then at the bottom of this letter, this is a letter Master to Master, he says to him,

[11:29]

anyone working as a teacher who has realized these five things can be in the world without misery. But I don't think it's necessarily for anyone working as a teacher. I think these five things are for all of us, and we're all in the world as a teacher. In some capacity or not. So in Seshin, we have a strong determination and resolution to sit and to practice hard, to follow the schedule, to harmonize with the Zen Do, to accord with conditions, and still remembering. This isn't necessarily cutting ourselves some slack, but just remembering that what has been long neglected cannot be restored immediately. So changing our habit mind, changing and transforming our karmic life,

[12:34]

to give ourselves some space around this. What has long been neglected cannot be restored immediately. And in our posture, areas where we're stiff or not so flexible, maybe through injury or just not... just we're not flexible in that way through years of not... I don't know, years of what, just we're not. So there's no need to criticize, to be angry at ourselves, just working with this, working with this with a loving, spacious way. Ills that have been accumulating for a long time cannot be cleared away immediately.

[13:38]

And I think these ills are... all kinds of ills, including ill will, I think. We just work on it over and over and over and over, not putting it off or procrastinating, being willing to go over and over. Things. And I think also these ills can be ills between people, you know, misunderstandings, sangha relations that are not harmonious, that have been accumulating for a long time. It takes work, it takes work. I received a call yesterday,

[14:39]

and I think it was a mistake to pick up the phone, and it was some Zen Center business, some difficulties, and it has all sorts of tendrils and areas to look at and take care of and follow up on, follow through with. And it can't be restored immediately. It can't be cleared away immediately. One cannot enjoy oneself forever. This is the suffering within pleasure or the suffering... the pervasive suffering, you know, knowing that things will end. We often have suffering right in the middle of enjoying. But just to know one cannot enjoy oneself forever

[15:41]

is a kind of enjoyment. And human emotions cannot be just right. And... we make effort, you know, over and over and over to... get to know another being, get to know ourselves. And sometimes we think, oh, finally, all is well, but then there's the next moment, and human emotions and relationships need tending, need...

[16:43]

tending, or they tend to unravel or fall apart. And if we haven't been tending carefully, maybe... there may be lots of work to do. Calamity cannot be avoided by trying to run away from it. I think that's a kind of dream we have, you know, okay, I'm just going to pick up, I'm going to get on a train, I'm going to head for Canada, you know, or wherever, some mythical place where there won't be any trouble, where there will be no hot or cold,

[17:45]

where I'll be able to avoid hot or cold, hot and cold. It's like Dorothy, you know, somewhere over the rainbow. But calamity cannot be avoided by trying to run away from it. So we sit, not trying to run away from anything, just being willing to allow our life to flow.

[18:50]

Our life to unfold. I can tell as I'm talking that I'm preoccupied with something. Calamity cannot be avoided by trying to run away from it. So maybe I should bring what I'm preoccupied with into the room. Maybe that will help. Well, I don't know if it will help.

[20:06]

So I'll just say a few words. Yesterday, I got a long email from my daughter who's in Columbia, South America, in a peace community, a community that's in the conflict zone. she wrote a piece that hopefully will be published in Turning Wheel, the Buddhist Peace Fellowship newsletter. But anyway, she was telling about a situation where these communities have experienced human rights abuses and many of their members have been disappeared and killed. So she was in a situation where the paramilitary had been in the village

[21:39]

while the peace accompaniment people were at a meeting in another village. And there was a decision that two of the three members of the team would stay in one village and she would go back to the other village to do her job as accompaniment. And night was falling and they had to ride a mule up the mountain about an hour and a half in the dark to the village. And she was describing what was going on for her, which was she was filled with fear. Night was falling. The path that goes to the mountains is lots of vegetation that could hide beings on either side.

[22:41]

And her mind was going towards kidnap and torture and the worst. And also chastising herself for not being, for being afraid. So as she was riding up the mountain on her mule with the other villagers who were with her trying to get back, I think she took refuge actually is what she did. She began practicing something that she learned at a Thich Nhat Hanh family practice day many, many years ago when she was about seven, I think, which was a practice of breathing and saying on each breath. And there's a song to it.

[23:45]

You say, in, out, deep, slow, smile, now calm, ease, smile, release, present moment, wonderful moment. So that was her practice. And then, which helped, I guess, and then she began to chant the Enmei Juku Kanon Gyo for protecting life, which she surprised herself by knowing all the words, all the... So she's riding her bestia, which is the generic term for mule and horse and whatever goes up and down the mountain, her beast,

[24:46]

in the dark, like chanting, you know, kan-ze-on-na-mu-bu-tsu, you know. So, another thing she said in the article was that she has picked up these Buddhist practices through osmosis, you know, just by living in this community but never being formally made to go to the Zen Do or... Anyway,

[25:48]

they made it safely back, and I feel very happy that she has this resource of her own body and breath in the middle of fear and real, life-threatening kinds of situations that she could draw on returning, returning to this very mind, is Buddha, this very body, the fruit of many lifetimes, as a means, as the way. May she continue to practice in this way.

[26:58]

And each one of us, as we sit on our cushion, on our bestia, our little mule, riding along with danger on either side of us, not your neighbors, yes, but danger arising, you know, fears and distress of all kinds, you know, can we return, can we find our way to draw on our resources that we have, you know, that is our birthright. I've been saying, you know, we have a right to sit here, we have a right to breathe, and this is, you know, Buddha touching the earth. We have this wonderful practice figure of Shakyamuni Buddha touching the earth. Dhyanja Nancy was telling me this morning that

[28:08]

I think this is another practice, maybe it's a Thich Nhat Hanh practice, for children when they're having difficulties and anger, like on the playground, to go and touch the earth, you know, call on the earth for help. So this is, you know, what is our touching the earth practice. Yes. So I would like us to find our seat. Isn't that what they say about riding a horse? People have their seat. I'm not a horse woman, but... Find your seat. Take your seat and ride your bestia, ride your animal. Find your sitting bones. You know, when we rock our body right and left, what's contacting the cushion or the chair,

[29:12]

we have these sitting bones there, and I think to notice what's happening with those sitting bones. Are they even? Is there even pressure? If we're tipped a little too forward, the sitting bones will feel pointy, pointy on the cushion. You can try that. And then when you tip back, they kind of flatten out. And you might notice one is pointy and one is flattened, you know. So to actually find your seat. And check out your sitting bones. Are they... where's the pressure? Is there pressure in the front, the back, the sides? Right-centered is where the sitting bones can best support.

[30:19]

And also our head, you know, which is a very heavy item. I've told this joke before. Want to lose 10 pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head. But I think your head may be 20 pounds. Actually, it's pretty heavy. So if we're too far forward, we can feel the front of our face kind of heavy, heavier. And if we're too far back, we feel heaviness behind. Either way, if our head is not balanced, it's a strain, you know, and our neck and muscles have to hold it. We do sometimes a very elaborate thing of being too forward on the bottom and then compensating back and forth. So to have our head evenly situated,

[31:25]

not hanging back, not forward or back. And one image is this head like a ping-pong ball on top of a fountain of water, you know, just bubbling along there on the top, even. So the bottom part of ourselves is rooted on the earth and then raised, pulling up on the spine and the side bodies, I love that term, the side bodies are lifted and, you know, the front and back and side bodies are lifted from the sitting bones up. You know, if you picture the sitting bones kind of centered in the middle of our bodies

[32:30]

and then even with the side bodies coming from up, the sitting bones pulling up on the side and front and back. And then the hands are very light, you know, and touching the belly, but there's lightness in the hands and they're resting and the shoulders are not holding the hands up. Hands are light and thumbs light. So, the Buddha,

[33:37]

how did the Buddha find his way to this Bodhi seat? You know, there's two stories of the Buddha's, or probably more than that, of the Buddha's enlightenment and the one that we know very, very well was picked up by Western scholars and it's a kind of quest story that's very particular of leaving home, leaving wife, leaving son and going off to accomplish one's spiritual quest. And it's a very, I think that story is archetypal but there's other stories, one that's from an older strata of the Pali Canon. The story that we know is post-canonical. There's other stories where the Buddha leaves his parents crying as he goes off,

[34:37]

which is another archetypal thing, I think, to leave our parents. But there's another story that I'll just mention that which has the Buddha leaving his wife but not creeping away in the nighttime while she and the baby are asleep but actually talking about it with her in the night and they don't have a baby yet. So this story comes from... I'll find it. Anyway, it's from an earlier description

[35:40]

of the Buddha setting off. So in this story, his wife Yasodhara, she wakes up and she has this dream and they talk together, the husband and wife talk together, a kind of a family situation, how that might happen where you have a bad dream and you wake whoever you're with and say, I had this terrible dream. And he listens to it and tries to interpret her dream. And this is from the Sangha Bhedavastu. Sangha Bhedavastu. So in the dream, she has dreams that things are going to happen to her, like her necklace breaks and different things.

[36:43]

And she asks him to take her with him. And he says he will take her with him but then he leaves without her. But the idea is perhaps that in his heart she's with him on his quest for enlightenment. But that night, when she wakes up and they talk about their dreams, then they make love and she gets pregnant, she conceives that night and he goes off. So during his quest, he does ascetic practices and all the story that we know, and she meanwhile, she sends a messenger to see what her husband's up to and how he's doing. And the messenger keeps coming back and telling her things. And he tells her he's doing these ascetic practices,

[37:45]

he's only eating one sesame seed a day or something. And she starts doing that. But it's not good because she's pregnant, right? She has to take care of the baby. So they decide not to tell her what he's up to because it's going to interfere with her pregnancy. So this idea of conception, this new life, new birth, well, not the birth yet, but new life growing, and for him it's the spiritual quest of new life, and for her it's a new being. And her pregnancy lasts as long as his quest, so she's pregnant for six years. Yeah. So this is a little problematic for the family, I think. At the end, when he's

[38:50]

about to have his enlightenment, at that point, this extended pregnancy is very unique in the Buddhist tradition. And at the end, when he has his great enlightenment experience, she gives birth to to the baby. And then there's other things about him recognizing the child and was it his own child because he was gone for six years. It's interesting folkloric motifs there of paternity and so forth. And Rahula does recognize his father. And in this story at the end, Mara,

[39:58]

we'll tell the story of the Buddha, but Mara sends things to make the Buddha get off his bestia, and the Buddha isn't moved by that. And Mara, as a kind of last nastiness, sends word to Yasodhara that he's died, and she faints and everything, so she falls to the ground in a faint, and is like wasting away. And because of her grief, she's in danger of losing the child. And then other celestial beings come and contradict what Mara said, and she revives. And, in fact, they say not only is he not dead, but he's accomplished the great enlightenment. And in this story, they don't name the baby Rahula,

[41:09]

which means fetter. They name the baby Ananda, which means joy, because she gave birth at the time that the Buddha had his great enlightenment. So the baby was named Joy, which is interesting in the story of Psyche and Eros, when, it's interesting, Psyche in that story is also pregnant, and she does her tasks and her quest to rejoin her husband Eros, or relationship. And she has a number of tasks, gathering the golden fleece, and getting something from the underworld, and a flask of water, and separating seeds. These are all part of her quest. And at the end, when she's joined with Eros, and she has her baby too, and that baby's name is Joy. So, interesting archetypal patterns here.

[42:14]

So, I think it's good to keep in mind a variety of stories of individuation, or fully realizing ourselves. So, does anyone have anything they'd like to say or ask about? I have here a copy of the five items to live in the world without misery.

[43:49]

Okay, we can post those, or put them out. I see a hand. Yes? Suzuki Roshi's what? Cough, yes. Yes, I agree, yes. Yes? Thank you. I think I said it, but I'll say it again more clearly, that I wasn't imputing nervous coughs on any of the symptoms of people's flus and colds

[44:53]

and things that have been going around here. Thank you. I think sometimes it's interesting to notice, even with our cough from sickness, when it arises and when it doesn't, and is there any pattern to it at all? That's something to just watch. Not that it's about nerves, but it's just something to watch. Yes? Could you say something about the difference between stoically being really difficult people and psychologically difficult people? That word stoic is... I think of stoicism as a kind of rigidity. Do you?

[45:54]

Is that when you think of stoicism, stoicness? So a kind of clamped-down, rigid, grit-the-teeth, dig-the-nails-into-the-skin, white-knuckled thing, something like that. And I don't think that works very well, actually. But there is a way to... And I was trying to talk about it yesterday, this relaxing into whatever is going on, like lying on a beach or embracing someone you love, or breathing into it, allowing yourself to breathe, and just, what is it? Just be open to whatever is coming up, that kind of feeling. And you might see, do I have to move or not? I think that the stoicism-clenching thing, which can also be an endurance test

[46:58]

or some kind of comparative mind, and there might be shame, you know, if I move, then feeling ashamed, and a whole bunch of other stuff. Anyway, I think I'm asking for us to experiment. At the first signs of pain, do we quick get away from it? Calamity cannot be avoided by running away from it, so is there running-away feeling, or is my practice now moving? And I think those are two things. So it's not about stoicism or competition or endurance tests. It's being willing to experience what we experience. And if we feel like it's time to move, it's time to move. But that very moving isn't really moving.

[47:59]

Uncrossing your legs at that point, where you're completely with moving, you stay completely with the moving, in an unmoving way. I think the more we sit, the more we play with that edge, and actually we can find like... We often have pain or discomfort with, stop, get rid of it, done, go. And to see the difference between working with pain and not changing it, that they don't have to be laminated together. There's another way, there's some space in there. Can you also post a recipe for unhappiness?

[49:07]

Yes, I'd be happy to. I sort of know, but... Yeah, we can have the menu of the day and then the recipe for unhappiness. Yes? Also post that you're keeping up on... The In-Out Deep Slow? We could even sing that. How many know that song? It's really pretty. My question was about your thing most right now, the power of self. You always seem so relaxed and not in pain. Is that true? What would be the most encouraging thing to you? The truth. I have pain. I experience pain.

[50:08]

And in my salad days, when I was younger I had a certain kind of pain, and as I've gotten older the pain has changed. And I think everyone can attest to this, that it's not always the same. Now it's very different. It's not me so much anymore. It's other things. Is it still a question of the old... Yeah. I don't remember exactly... Falsely accusing them. I think that's how we end up... I don't know exactly in Greece what their practice was, but I think that's how we use the word now. Yes? No? You don't use it that way?

[51:11]

Really? So it sounds like the real meaning of stoicism is equanimity and calm and not being perturbed. Thank you. Thank you, Daniel. I don't want to cast disparagement on any Greeks of any... Any time. Not during Satsang, don't find out. I'll find out. I get to look things up. Yes, the Stoics. Well, then it may be a misnomer how we use Stoic. And... Yes.

[52:14]

So, Shannon, stoicism. Yes. Could you say a little bit more if you don't mind about the thing about not running away from calamity or you can't avoid it and you're trying not to... Yes. Calamity cannot be avoided by trying to run away from it. I don't mean to... say that there aren't times when we... There are times when we remove ourselves from situations of danger, right? That doesn't mean we go after and try to, you know, get over our head into dangerous situations. I don't mean that.

[53:17]

But to have the idea that we can avoid anything or run away from our life, I think that's what I'm pointing to. How it... relates to Sarah's situation... I don't know. I don't know. I think, you know, what's skillful in a situation and running away from things may be a skillful thing at times, but that's not real running away. That's just skill in means. That means you go here rather than here. That's not running away. Do you know what I mean? But it does mean you move and go to another place. It's different than running away. I think trying to avoid our life and running away doesn't work. But it doesn't mean that we don't

[54:23]

accord with conditions. Okay? No? Yes? Well, I... I guess I was wondering whether you were talking about yourself or her, whether you wanted her to avoid coming back home. Oh, oh. Or whether it was her practice. I think I was talking about her practice of, you know, finding some way to be there in the moment fully and how that supported her. And for me, I think my practice is not indulging in fantasy that is, and future, you know, calamitous things in the mind, you know? I think that kind of indulging is a running away,

[55:31]

even though it looks, you know, thinking about the worst possible scenario is a kind of off-balance thing. It's what's going on right now. In fact, that's what she said, I'm okay now. Everything's all right. I'm all right. But, you know, that's what she... as she's riding along. Wonderful moment, present moment. So, indulging in certain kinds of thinking is a kind of running away and kind of courting calamity, I guess. Not that real calamity will come, but our own calamity of mind. Would you sing a song? Would those of you who know it sing it? Do you want to hit it when you hear the cuckoo today? In, out, deep, slow,

[56:34]

calm, ease, smile, release, present moment, wonderful moment. It can be like a dirge and not a dirge. Keep it light. Yes? When that song came up in the retreat that you were talking about, some of us were meeting and sitting at home before the retreat, and he said, if children sing Buddha as Superman, they'll never see that they can be like Buddha. What is the practice that will help them recognize that Buddha is not a human being and that they also are human beings, not Buddha's necessarily, but have the capacity to be God like a Buddha? And then that song came up as the practice as a way to teach meditation to quite a number of children.

[57:38]

That's how they followed it. It shouldn't be a sad song or dragged out at all. Would anyone like to try it? Can we try it again? I would like to hear it, just to join in. Could I just do it once the way we did it? Because it always drags out. In, out, deep, slow, calm, ease, smile, release, that quickly. It's almost like really rhythmic like the breath. And then when you're breathing on your own, you can do it really slowly. Okay. Should we try it? Also, for service, we should be going briskly, too. I've noticed in the morning we're beginning to drag. So let's everybody keep up the pace, especially the Dahi Shindhirani, which gets very dirge-like, too. So this will be good practice for our service. Okay, hit it. In, out, deep, slow,

[58:41]

calm, ease, smile, release, present moment, wonderful moment. Thank you very much.

[59:08]

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