It's a great success. It's a great success. I want to talk about something which I think confuses us from time to time, about the emphasis or purpose of our practice.

[01:14]

and how we practice in ordinary, everyday life, and how we extend our practice from zazen. Usually, or quite often, if we come to some kind of practice or want to learn something, Most practices will put emphasis on how to solve problems. People these days are very keen on problem solving. But in our practice, we don't really put the emphasis on problem solving. We'd rather put the emphasis on character, developing character.

[02:19]

Problem solving is included, of course, but we don't... It's not the main subject. The main subject is how we develop our character. So sometimes we get confused about practice and we say, well, I've been practicing for ten years and I still have these problems. As if we started to practice in order to get rid of these problems. So when you ask me that kind of question, I always turn it toward your character. What's happened to your character in that time, in ten years? How have you developed yourself in ten years?

[03:28]

How has your character developed through practice? So for us, a problem is something we use to develop our practice. It's like a grindstone. And we use it to sharpen our knife, so to speak. So we always appreciate our problems. Rather than trying to get rid of our problems, we always appreciate our problem. If we don't know how to do that, then we don't know how to practice. And sitting with our problem, you know, whenever we sit we have some problem.

[04:40]

Even though you may have a lot of experience sitting zazen and can sit pretty easily still in zazen, there's always some problem in your back or your legs or your breathing or your mind, something. And when we're a new student, we're always looking for how to get rid of our problem and make our sitting easier. But then as we become more mature, we see that the problem somehow is always a problem. And it's like Getting rid of the problem is like digging holes at the seashore. We make a nice hole, but unfortunately it gets filled up again.

[05:50]

And so no matter how much we dig the hole, it's always getting filled up again. So getting rid of problems is a little bit like digging holes at the seashore. one problem fills in for the next, for the last, in a continual stream. So to, of course, we're always working on our problem as well as on our character, but We don't really put the emphasis on getting rid of the problems. If you want to get rid of your problems, you should see a psychiatrist or a psychologist or maybe someone, therapist. Some people aren't ready to practice with their problems.

[06:59]

They need to get rid of their problem before they can practice. But for someone who is really in practice, we bring our problem and face our problems. And over and over, we practice with the problem that we have, not ignoring it and not being attached to it, This is what we learn in zazen, without problem. Not ignoring it, and at the same time not being attached to it. So our life goes on, on and on. And we develop our character. I'll explain what I mean by character. Kind of like the way an oyster develops a pearl. There's some little problem.

[08:02]

There's some problem. But the oyster deals with the problem. And dealing with the problem creates something very beautiful. It brings forth kind of our natural treasure. And sometimes we feel if we get rid of all the problems, then life will be very beautiful and easy, and naturally we'll feel good. That's a kind of childish dream that we all have and still cherish. If we get rid of all the problems, everything will be okay. Just don't rock the boat.

[09:04]

Just don't let in any leaks. But unfortunately, the boat itself turns into a problem. The peacefulness itself becomes a great problem. So there's really no way out, no escape from this world once we're in this world. This world is the world of problems, the world of one problem after another. So we, instead of chipping away at the problems, we work on ourself. Of course, we don't want to. accumulate more problems. You don't want to... Accumulating more problems is called creating karma by

[10:13]

indulging in unwholesome activities. So we always try to make the effort to do wholesome activities. Wholesome activities beget wholesome activities. Unwholesome activities beget unwholesome activities. So our effort is to steer ourselves into the wholesome sphere. But no matter how much we steer ourselves into the wholesome sphere, we still have the other side. We still have an unwholesome side, or we still have some undesirable thing. it's pretty hard to find someone who is completely 100% wholesome and still a human being. We can develop ourselves in many ways, in a refined way, but when we do that, something else suffers over on the other side.

[11:34]

We can maybe become a wonderful person in our field, but our personal life stinks, or something like that. We don't know how to get along with people. We can become a wonderful professional, but we don't know how to get along with people, or we don't know how to handle ourselves in situations. So, pretty hard to find somebody that's really perfectly balanced in all situations, who is really in control, perfect control of themself, of themselves in each and every situation, knows exactly what to do on every situation, and has perfect composure no matter what's happening. Character is like the bones of our personality.

[12:41]

Personality is the way we think of ourselves, the combination of all the mental and physical factors and attitudes. And character is the main posts of that personality and what it depends on, honesty and integrity and so forth. And sometimes we think of personality as, sometimes personality can get divorced from the bones, and we just have the skin, you know, wiggling. And we call it personality. But in our Zen practice, we try to bring the skin back onto the bones and root it so that the face that we present is

[13:59]

exactly the same as what's inside. That's called straightforward behavior. Sixth Patriarch says straightforward behavior is the essence of Zen practice, the essence of Buddhist practice, straightforward behavior. Meaning there's no difference between your activity and your intention and what... No difference between inside and outside. So integrity is something that we develop inside. And problems are the connection between the inside or the relationship between the inside and the outside. So when we have straightforward response and activity, it means that inside and outside are not two things.

[15:23]

means to become completely one with our problem is straightforward activity. Not to try to get rid of our problem, not to avoid our problem, but to face it in a straightforward way by becoming one with it. No inside, no outside. So the problem is not an object. And we're not the subject. But there's no gap between ourself and the problem. This is what we learned in Zazen. And this is how we should extend our zazen into our daily life.

[16:33]

People feel sometimes it's all well and good when I'm sitting, but when I step out, you know, and start to engage in the world again, I have all these problems. It's just natural. Of course we have all these problems. My teacher, as I said before, whenever I went to him with my problem, he would always say, give me another problem. And he'd say, I'm sorry, I'm just giving you another problem. and left. But I always enjoyed his giving me another problem because I understood what he meant. So practice is something that is continuous, just continuous activity.

[17:50]

It's not that in two or three years you'll have all your problems solved. If you don't, if you stop working on yourself, if you stop working on your character, then that's when you're not practicing Zen. Sometimes, you know, people will create a kind of facade of practice. Sometimes it's easy to create a kind of facade of practice going through the motions, but then the real person is standing behind creating a different kind of scenario or just trying to get by in some way. But that becomes obvious right away. And we should avoid that kind of split personality, actually.

[19:03]

Our personality should be right up front. If we do hide, you know, if we hide behind a facade, then it's very unhealthy for us. And even though we were healthy before, we become unhealthy by not being straightforward. Being straightforward doesn't mean to not be ethical. It doesn't mean you just say what's on your mind without thinking about it or to just act in some compulsive way. But to act with honesty and integrity and to try to be truthful to yourself and truthful to others.

[20:10]

If you're truthful to yourself, you'll be truthful to others. and to keep our commitments. And then if you bring that kind of straightforwardness into your everyday activity, that's very helpful in the world. The most, you know, we wonder, how can we be helpful in this world? And our practice has two sides.

[21:15]

One side is that we work and develop ourself, work on ourself and develop ourself. That's the arhat side. And the other side is that we extend that into the world. That's the bodhisattva side. So the arhat side is actually part of our practice. We don't really ignore arhat's practice. The Mahayana practice includes the practice of the arhats, but extends it. and develops it to the world. So first, the best way that we can help people is through our own straightforwardness and integrity, which influences people to have that in themselves.

[22:21]

So working on ourself is the same as working with everybody else. And then, of course, to do good works is another way to stop the world from blowing itself up and so forth. But if you lose your calmness of your mind in any situation, it's not practice, it's not... you're losing your practice, you're losing your purpose. So, you know, in a situation where There are a lot of people very emotionally tied to some issue, political issue, or something like the nuclear, anti-nuclear, the nuclear freeze campaign, that kind of thing.

[23:45]

And there are a whole bunch of people from different backgrounds trying to do something in common. Unless there's a pretty good order, kind of strict order and procedure and calmness, the whole thing can get lost and blow up in its face. So a lot of people here are involved in that, and I think we're all involved in it in some way. in one way or another. So how we bring our practice, our sense of practice, into that situation is very important. You shouldn't lose yourself. You shouldn't just be carried off by someone else's carelessness. But you should have your own sense of integrity

[24:54]

and influence people with that. I think that's a very important contribution, that it's nonviolence. People that are in the freeze campaign take nonviolence training. But we have that nonviolence training every day. You should bring that quality to your nonviolence training and to anything that you're involved in. So practice doesn't stop at the zindo. And when something's going some wrong way, you should always come back to yourself. And always use the situation as a way to practice.

[26:16]

If you always use every situation as a way to practice, then you won't lose your meditation. That's called constantly meditating. Constantly sitting zazen, whether you're walking, standing, lying down, no matter what. Maybe you'd like to discuss this a little bit. So recently you talked about, at least from your lecture on one of the case records, about the true student of Zen not avoiding errors.

[27:25]

Specifically, thinking about that, in regards to extending our practice into something highly charged like nuclear disarmament. And joining with people from different backgrounds, sort of mixing up the families and trying to do something together. But meeting in that process all the fears and frames and boundaries that we have that we may not even be aware of until we start trying to break them down, start trying to do something. And a lot of things come up to challenge our sense of doing what we're doing as practice. It seems

[28:33]

And a lot of swords and arrows get flung around, and people get stuck, hurt. And we've had an experience like this recently with the nuclear disarmament group here, where that turbulence borders on the unmanageable. borders on what you can't feel good about as extending your practice. Yet to be too cautious and not ever put yourself in an extremely challenging situation seems dead, seems like there's no life there. So I'm asking a question about how to... keep a balance between being courageous enough to go ahead and and stick your neck out and uh or risk it's not even not even talking just about uh extending our practice to the sovereign i'm talking about for instance sashimi and the way that we uh mix it up during the sashimi and arrows and swords flying around somewhat how do we be uh

[30:03]

courageous and straightforward enough to go ahead into that, it seems like a battlefield, without having it get out of hand. What's our instrument that tells us when it's enough and when it's too much, when we have to go ahead and have a confrontation, and when it's better to keep your mouth closed and retreat You know, what we say when we're sitting zazen, all of the stuff that goes through our head when we're sitting is not necessary, you know, and we call it makyo. All those thoughts, all those dreams, all the ideas and feelings, you know, just kind of phantasmagoria that goes on in your head during zazen.

[31:10]

Call it makyo. Don't pay any attention to it. Just let it come and go. Just, what are you doing? Well, I'm sitting zazen. You attack all this stuff? This is called violence. If you attack it, it's called violence. If your stomach has a bottom, then it'll all end up there. But fortunately, we have an anus. Thank goodness. It all goes in, but it all comes out. Constantly coming out. So the cleaner, the more easily we can let it go out, the easier we live our life.

[32:20]

The more we contain it. grapple with it, fight with it, chew it, hate it, love it, desire it, don't want it, the more it gives us a big problem. All that stuff that comes up during Sashin, it's not just in your head, is also makyo. It's not just the stuff that's going on. that kind of bump up against somebody, you know, and try and make things right. Somebody gives you a lot of baloney. If you're the director, somebody would give you a lot of baloney, you know. But you can't, you know, you're sitting zazen, even though you're talking to that person. And you can't let yourself get thrown off by what somebody does or somebody says.

[33:27]

Just let it go. We have to deal with things, you know, and we have to deal with them correctly. And we have to make decisions. But Most of the stuff that comes our way, we can digest, and then we put it here, or we put it there, or we spit it out, or something. But most of it, if you don't hold onto it, most of it will disappear. And you don't need to remember everything.

[34:29]

And you don't have to see everybody's faults. Yeah. There was a saying flowing around some time ago, if there wasn't a God, we'd have to invent him. I can't hear you very much. There was a saying? There was a saying, in recent years, if there wasn't a God, we'd have to invent him. That's changed for me recently into, if there were problems, we'd have to invent them so that we could use them to grow. And as soon as you brought up the subject this morning, The most awesome example of just such a problem came to my mind, and that's the did-here situation. And I can't help looking at it as this thing that we created in order

[35:45]

to realize the necessity for overcoming our differences and all the things that create problems for ourselves. That's right. Sometimes I'm just involved in trying to counter it in some way, to work against it. But in my common moments, I'm just overwhelmed with that reality. It's the inevitable outcome of the way things go. I think so. And it's really the opportunity for us to learn how to do something very big that we haven't been able to do before. That nuclear disarmament issue here keeps coming up again and again, and it always reminds me of getting involved in a protest against the Vietnam War.

[37:03]

I wasn't very involved at that time, but I was sort of on the periphery. I saw a whole lot of violent demonstrations happening. And the one time I did decide that enough was enough, one had to do something, was right after the Cambodian bombing. And 300,000 people showed up and sat out in front of the White House. And they just sat there that day. There was maybe 20 people got involved in violence. But it was a very peaceful day and a very special feeling to it. And I don't know whether it was that demonstration specifically that had the most effect. But right after that, they started talking about, well, we better listen to this. It seems to me that the violence just sort of caused the people to react badly. They brought out their guns and they started shooting people. But when a whole lot of people got together and they were very consistently nonviolent about it, but adamant that they felt very strongly, that had the most effect.

[38:10]

I fear that if one takes this nuclear issue into violence, then that's not going to be very good. Yeah, I did. Gandhi really proved that in India. I wanted to ask about the business of habit, maintaining the common line in the midst of turbulence. I'm finding that there is a sense in which trying to maintain the common line is just to get away from the turbulence. It's just another way of resisting it. So there's, I'm trying to find what's the difference between, I've got to calm down, you know, I don't want this, and it's kind of a rigidity, or it's kind of a holding against the turbulence, and what is maintaining a calm mind which is not a dual opposition? That's, it's like saying, relax!

[39:16]

That's not what I mean. What I mean is that through your practice, you know, the only way that you can really practice, if you do it correctly, is to resume that calm mind. It doesn't mean that there's nothing going on in your head or that you're not involved in activity, but within the most active activity. You're not frantic. You're not possessed by anything. You're not carried off by something.

[40:21]

And you're resting in your own calmness. I don't know how to explain it exactly, but it's the same mind that when you're at your wit's end in Sesshin, you can still remain calm. without giving it up, without resorting to something else. It's getting at the bottom of your mind. So if you're always at the bottom of your mind, no matter how much pressure there is, you don't get thrown by it. You understand that? Okay. No matter how great the pressure, instead of losing your mind, you find yourself going deeper and deeper into your own mind, not your brain.

[41:36]

Here, you know. I think when that kind of thing happens, say in a situation that's turbulent, At some point, if you feel yourself being caught up in it, you have to come back to yourself. And for me, that usually means admitting that I feel kind of frantic because you get carried off not admitting it to yourself or thinking that you're calm. And it's like the center goes and you spin outward with the activity. But if you can recognize that that's happening and admit that... you're not very calm, then maybe you can kind of go inward and regain it. But if you can't admit to yourself that something's going on, then you just kind of go further and further off.

[42:36]

Yeah, it's like when a musician gives a concert, you usually take a few deep breaths. And by doing that, you throw everything off and resume your natural state so that you can start out of calmness. So sometimes, if you have training in sitting zazen, counting your breaths, when you get into a situation, difficult situation, you find that you've become very aware of your breath. You become aware of your breathing and you may even start to count your breath. But you start locating, you know, relating to this mind and you find some calmness. And then your actions come out of that calmness rather than out of the frantic.

[43:40]

quality of the confusion in your head. So how you come out of confusion is always to come back to this mind. You know, come back to zero and start again. And when we sit sashin, we're constantly doing that, constantly coming back to zero in every breath. And then from zero, we start out one, two, three. And then because you appreciate that kind of order, you create some kind of order that makes things work. So then when you come back to the calmness of your mind and you think, well, how can I do this?

[44:53]

How can I make this stuff work? And then you start doing something logically and orderly. So we have to do that over and over again. We have to keep coming back, resuming zero, resuming our zero nature, and then start again. Time after time, actually. Otherwise we end up building off of something that's crumbling, you know? The Leaning Tower. And we build an end up here, you know? So we have to keep straightening the building down all the time by coming down to the foundation, keeping in touch with the foundation all the time.

[45:59]

And that's what our zazen is, just keeping in touch with the foundation. Don't get carried away. Thank you.

[46:35]

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