Good morning. It's great to be back at Clouds and Water. I've really enjoyed getting to know some of you the last few days and glad to see a bunch more today. So I thought I'd start by hitting some of the points I've been talking about the last few days and maybe we'll get a little further. So yesterday I spoke about Great Patience, the name of this Buddha realm since Kategiri Roshi's dharma name was Dainin, Great Patience. And I feel more and more like patience is the heart of our practice. that patience or tolerance or forbearance, developing this capacity to tolerate being human beings in these difficult times, developing the capacity to respond, to actively be present.

[01:10]

So patience is not a passive practice of sitting around stoically, looking like Zen zombies. Patience is a dynamic, active practice that allows us to respond more fully and deeply to our world. So I won't be able to, we just scratched the surface yesterday in terms of talking about all the aspects of patience. But I wanted to go back to the basis of this practice of patience and of awareness and of awakening. which is this Buddha nature, which is present right now all around. So our practice is not a practice of developing some higher state of being or higher state of consciousness. It's not about getting high. It's about being present as we are. This body and mind on your Kushner chair right now today, right now,

[02:15]

With each inhale and exhale, Buddha nature is abundantly available and present right in the ground underneath your Kushner chair right now. How do we find that? How do we uncover it? How do we express it? This is a creative practice, a practice of creative expression. So one of the ways I've talked about it this week is from one of those dharma hall discourses that Mark mentioned in Dogen's extensive record, where Dogen says, the family style of all Buddhas and ancestors is to first arouse the vow to save all living beings by removing suffering and providing joy. The point of our practice is not just to find some personal happiness. Of course, it's OK to be happy. In fact, it's a wonderful thing. But we practice together with all beings. We practice for the sake of all beings.

[03:16]

This practice is very important because our world needs it right now. And our world needs each one of you to express the zazen heart, the awareness of practice and realization that's on your Kushner chair right now. How do we do that? How do we remove suffering and provide joy? This is the starting point of our practice, arousing this vow. And whatever it was that brought you into the room this morning, Even if you think you came here because of some personal problem, some personal sense of loss or stress or whatever that you need relief from, that's fine. But part of your being here, I deeply believe, is that you also care about the quality of your life and the quality of our world and the quality of all beings. So this is the starting point of our practice and the ending point of our practice. Just may all beings be happy. How do we do that?

[04:20]

How do we share that together in Sangha and also in the Sangha beyond these walls in our everyday activity through the week? This is the point of our practice. Dogen goes on to say, only this family style is inexhaustibly bright and clear. In the lofty mountains, we see the moon for a long time. As clouds clear, we first recognize the sky. People come to practice and we all have our own particular individual appropriate rhythms of practice. Some people may only come once a week and hear the dharma and do zazen. I encourage everyday zazen or several times at least during the week to actually find this space. What's important is how to sustain this space of the zazen heart. So as Dogen says, in the Lofty Mountains, when we are open to this Buddha nature, we see the moon for a long time.

[05:25]

And in Zen poetry, when they talk about the moon, they're talking about this fullness and roundness. And sometimes we say perfection, but that's a kind of trap in our language because people get attached to some idea of perfection, some idealistic practice. So it's necessary to see the moon for a long time, to settle into this roundness and completeness and this possibility of wholeness that each of us has in our cushion and chair, and even that our society and world has as a possibility, as distant as that may seem in these dark times. It's necessary to sustain this practice, to do this for a long time. Not because we're waiting for some special magical enlightenment or Kensho or something. That's not important. The point is, how do we sustain our practice?

[06:26]

We need to allow the clouds to clear and recognize the sky. Recognize the openness. Recognize the, we could say, emptiness or suchness of our life right now. So we need to have a practice that's sustainable. that we can continue in throughout our lifetime, throughout many lifetimes, because practice endlessly unfolds. The subtlety of patience, the subtlety of awakening doesn't depend on some particular dramatic experience or some particular even very excellent understanding. The point is, how do we sustain that with each situation that our life carries us into? And Dogen emphasizes this. He says, cast loose down the precipice, the moonlight, this afterglow of wholeness shares itself within the 10,000 forms. This is our job. This is what our practice is about. How do we express this?

[07:28]

How do we create our own Buddha body in our lives, in our everyday activity? And it's not that we can do it. Again, that is some kind of idealistic sense of, you know, I can only respond, I can only express Buddha when I understand it perfectly or when I have the perfect response. Right now, Buddha nature is all around you, each of you. Right now, there is some practice realization on your cushion and chair. You could not be here listening to this. You could not be here sitting zazen without some realization that brought you to express itself in practice. So it shares itself, this awareness, within the 10,000 forms. But then Dogen says, even when climbing up the bird's path, taking good care of yourself is spiritual power. So when you go out to save all living beings, please consider all the living beings on your cushion or chair right now.

[08:32]

This works in many ways. We have to find our own way of settling into this possibility of awareness and kindness and clarity. And it takes a while. So please take good care of yourself. Our spiritual power, our spiritual capacity, our ability to respond involves taking good care of yourself for a long time. But of course, when you take good care of yourself, you realize that taking good care of yourself includes that you need to do your best to express this in some way with family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, in your life, in your world, as well as on your cushion, and then in our society with all of its troubles and corruption. And Dogen says to do this even when climbing up the bird's path. So we don't usually think of

[09:37]

tracing the bird's path, when we see birds flying overhead, we don't see a trail in the clouds. When four-leggeds walk, we see tracks if the ground is wet. And even when fish swim, we can see a little trail sometimes in the water. We don't usually see this when birds are flying overhead. And yet somehow, the birds have managed to follow the same migratory path sometimes over thousands of miles for centuries and centuries. Do birds see the tracks of other birds? I don't know. I'm not a bird. Anyway, we don't know all of the tracks and traces of the Buddhist ancestors in this room right now. We don't know how to express our path, how to find our way of sharing and expressing this Buddha heart in the world. And yet, we can do that. We can climb up the birch path. We can take on facing what's in front of us and responding from this unfolding, developing sense of settledness and patience, rather than reacting out of our habits, out of our conditioning.

[10:51]

This is the work of our practice. And I like birds because, I don't know so much about birds, but I like them because they, I've learned, descended from dinosaurs. So if dinosaurs can become birds, I think there's hope for human beings too. So I can say a lot more about that one, but just that Logan first says we have to arouse the vow to save all living beings and try to remove suffering and try to offer some joy, some ease. And yet, when we do this, please take good care of yourself. This is our spiritual power. So I have a problem giving Dharma talks and that I like to get in a lot of stuff. And so you'll have to bear with me. I wanted to mention another relevant passage from Dogen from

[11:54]

an essay in Shobokenzo called The Awesome Presence of Active Buddhas. And somewhere in there he says, the only Buddhas are active Buddhas. There's no such thing as an unengaged. Buddha. There's no such thing as a passive, withdrawn Buddha. In fact, active Buddhists, practicing Buddhists, this is what awakening means, that we are expressing this in our life, in our world, in various ways that we don't even know. So this isn't that you should have some idea about how to be an active Buddha. Don't trust, don't believe what you think. It's okay if you have good thoughts, and it's okay if you have good understanding. But what's happening on your cushion right now, what's happening on your chair right now, what's happening in our practice goes beyond our ideas of it. Somewhere else, Dogen says that when Buddhahood happens, it does not happen according to your expectations. It does not happen in the way you think it will.

[12:56]

In fact, all of reality is like this. This is not the Dharma talk I expected. Is this the Dharma talk anyone here expected? Actually, our life is alive. So anyway, this passage in this essay called The Awesome Presence or Dignified Manner of Active Buddhas, Dogen says, know that Buddhas in the Buddha way do not wait for awakening. Active Buddhas alone fully experience the vital process on the path of going beyond Buddha. Buddhas in the Buddha way do not wait for awakening. It's not that if you sit long enough and hard enough and eventually sometime in the future there'll be some bing and suddenly you'll be a Buddha. No, you are here practicing this practice of Buddhas. Practice is the expression of realization. Of course, practice unfolds and develops and opens, and realization does too.

[13:59]

But don't wait for awakening. Don't wait to express yourself until you think you have some perfect response. That's not the Buddha way. So there are branches of Zen. in Japan and America that emphasize seeing Buddha nature, Kensho, it's called, and that you have to have some experience of Kensho before you can express Buddha nature, before you can realize Buddha nature. And it's fine if you have such a dramatic experience. They're quite wonderful, and it's OK. But that's not the point of our practice. Suzuki Roshi, who was my teacher's teacher, said that walking through the park, he used to go walking in Golden Gate Park in San Francisco, where he lived, and there's a lot of fog there.

[15:04]

I don't know if you have fog in Minnesota, but there's a lot of fog, and it kind of makes the climate very nice. And he says, walking through the park in the fog, gradually, our robes get wet. So whether you have some dramatic experience of awakening or just soaking it like a nice hot bath or a symphony, please express your Buddha nature right now. In fact, you are doing that. Your posture right now on your cushion or chair is an expression of your realization right now. It's never other than that. So please know that Buddhas in the Buddha way do not wait for awakening. Active Buddhas alone fully experience the vital process on the path of going beyond Buddha. So only when you put your zazen heart into action, into expression, into the creative joy of being alive, can you then fully experience the vital process on the path of going beyond Buddha?

[16:11]

So I recommend if you only memorize one sentence of Dogen, this is it. This is a good one. Active Buddhas alone, or all that active Buddhas do, is fully experience the vital process on the path of going beyond Buddha. So our practice is not about getting to some magical buddhaness. It's already here. Not that you can get it either. It's not buddhanature and kensho is not something that you can acquire. And yet, this practice of dynamic patience, of creative expression of your zazen heart-mind is about fully experiencing the vital process. on the path of going beyond Buddha. So whatever Buddha you got, don't put it in some frame and put it up on the wall and bow down to it and feel how precious it is. Please get over it. What Buddhas do is go beyond Buddha.

[17:17]

Awakening doesn't just happen one time. Even Hakuin, who founded the system of Kensho practice and emphasized that, had many, many, many Kenshos. And always he said, oh, I never understood anything before. So there's nothing to get. It's already here. There's no thing. called Buddha, Nature, or Kensho. Just fully experience the vital process on the path of going beyond Buddha. And I deeply believe that all of you, even if this is your first time here, are on this path of going beyond Buddha. How many people are here for the very first time? Oh, good. There's a few. How many of those people have never been to a Buddhist meditation, never done Buddhist meditation, or never been to a Buddhist talk before? Great. OK. Well, welcome. You're on the path of going beyond Buddha. That's great. Congratulations. It's really good for the rest of us that you're here for the first time.

[18:20]

So the point is that we need to fully experience this vital process. So in case you didn't know it, each one of you on your Kushner chair, I have to inform you that you are alive. that your heart is alive, that your life is alive. Not just you, but actually all the other people here are alive too. And the temple pillars and the fans and the lights, from the point of view of Buddhism, everything is alive. Things are not dead objects, commodities that we can try and acquire and manipulate to get what we think we want. that we can rearrange to get what we think will allow us to be Buddhists. Actually, you're alive. Please enjoy it. This is a vital process. And it goes beyond our ideas of what it is. And it goes beyond our ideas of perfection and Buddhahood and so forth.

[19:21]

So if you get involved in idealistic practice where you think that you have to match some ideal, where you think that Buddha is some perfect master radiating light or something like that, it's a big trap. We are human beings practicing together as human beings. And we're alive. And that's wonderful. And it also is very painful. So we need to feel the feelings we feel. We need to feel the sadness. that is in some way in each one of our lives and that is in the nature of reality and is certainly in our world today with all the wars and injustice and corruption. We need to feel the sadness. We need to be allowed to grieve. If you find yourself weeping, go for it. We also need to feel the fear we feel that is encouraged by our society now. And being courageous doesn't mean not having any fear.

[20:27]

It means being willing to be upright and present and still settle into our own inner dignity, right in the middle of that. You don't have to crush the fear. It's OK. You don't have to be afraid of it. And if you feel anxiety, it's OK. You don't have to be anxious about that. And if you are, don't be anxious about being anxious about it. Here we are. We're alive. Each of you has the wonderful opportunity to fully experience the vital process on the path of going beyond Buddha. And each one of you is going to do it in your own way. No teacher can tell you how you are Buddha. No teacher can tell you how you should express your Buddha nature. This is a creative practice. We, each day, are fresh and alive. And so start to discover that you really are alive, that your life is not limited by your ideas of who you are and what the world is. Of course, we do have to deal with our ideas of who we are and what the world is.

[21:29]

We have to face that, too. And yet, there is this vital process when we enter into practice, when we are willing to just sit upright and settle over time into this possibility of inner dignity, and to see, gradually, as the clouds clear, the open sky, this possibility of openness, and kindness, and caring, and meeting together. This is what our practice is about. So I talk about, rather than Ken showing Buddha nature, having some dramatic experience of it, that we need to Genjo Buddha nature. We have to manifest it, as in Dogen's teaching, Genjo Koan. So I want to say again that we need to find sustainable practice. We need to find a way to settle into the aliveness of our life, the vitality of our life, into this vital process that is our life and yet goes beyond what we think it is.

[22:32]

It doesn't mean we should get rid of our thoughts about what we think it is. In fact, we should become intimate with what we think We are, and the world is. But then our meditation naturally opens us up to something more. And so I think of this meditation, this upright sitting, as a kind of performance art, a kind of creative expression of the possibility of practice realization. Right now, in each of you, in this body and mind right now, not in some other body and mind you'll get later on when you have some fancy experience. So how do we sustain that? How do we sustain that together? The job of sangha is to support each other, each in our own way, to be present, to experience this vital process, to settle into how it is to be this person, this body and mind here today. How to enjoy our inhale and our exhale and the space right after exhale.

[23:36]

how to settle into our uprightness, how to find our own trust in ourselves. So don't trust some teaching or some teacher. Trust yourself. That's what the teaching is. Trust your own experience. But we need to keep inquiring, what is it? How can I express this? How can I more fully experience this vital process on the path of going beyond Buddha? So each of us can, through this questioning, which is another word for faith, through this being willing, trusting ourselves to question what our experience is, what our practice is, what our sangha is, we can come to find our own way, our own alive, fluid way, flexible way of sustaining this practice. So my impression is that it's not sustainable if you're relying on your teacher to push you in your practice.

[24:45]

When I first started early on in my practice, and a lot of American Zen has outgrown this, but I practiced at San Francisco Zen Center back in our days of macho Zen. Whoever could sit in the most difficult position for the longest without moving was the most enlightened. That's not the Buddha way. I'm sorry. The point is to sustain this. Our world really needs us to take care of ourselves so that we can express our kindness and our awareness and our clarity and share that with each other and the world and support each of us to do that in our own way. Not in some way that somebody tells you you should be, but each one of you has your own expression of this practice realization right now. How do we encourage each other to continue? So this is also the realm of the precepts, that we take responsibility for this expression, that we practice with others, that we notice when we

[25:54]

go off when we get a little out of whack. And the whole world is so out of whack. And our society is so crazed that I think any of you who is actually sane would be a little bizarre. Some of you might be sane, and that's OK. I don't mean to criticize those of you who are sane. But we have to acknowledge that we live in a world A consumerist society that encourages you to be a hungry ghost and need to get whatever's on the next TV commercial and that you need to acquire things. So it's okay. Forgive yourself if you think that you need to acquire Buddha nature or Kensho or whatever else you think you need to get in order to be a Buddha, in order to enjoy your Buddha nature, in order to fully experience the vital process on the path of going beyond Buddha. Still, we have guidelines in various ways, speaking the truth, not just not killing, but supporting life, supporting vitality.

[27:01]

So all of these precepts that we have, all the various systems of practice and the bodhisattva way, and the way of helping all beings, give us guidance, give us tools to help us find our way. And of course, it's important to make mistakes. And it's important to forgive yourself. Hopefully, your mistake will not be too harmful. But we're alive. So please give up the idea of being some perfect being. One of my favorite American Zen masters says, if the world were perfect, it wouldn't be. So we need to find our aliveness. We need to make mistakes. That's how we learn. And the precepts guide us into hopefully not going too far off in our mistakes and learning from them. So it's important to forgive, and especially to forgive yourself for being human beings.

[28:11]

This is not a practice for you know, plastic Buddhas or gold Buddhas or Zen zombies. This is a practice for human beings. How can we find our way of being a human being? That's quite a challenge. And yet, each one of you, as you are expressing your Buddha nature right now on your cushion and chair, is fully breathing in the humanity of Buddha nature. Allow yourself to find your own way of expressing that. That's what this is about. And then just continuing that, sustaining that. So I understand we're going to be visited by the children sometime soon. I wanted to close then before that with a few comments on some lines from another old Zen teaching, which I haven't spoken about yet this weekend, called The Song of the Grass Hut, by one of our great ancestors who lived a long time ago in the 8th century, named Sekito Kisen in Japanese.

[29:26]

He also wrote The Harmony of Difference and Sameness, which we chant sometimes in the basis of Soto Zen philosophy. Do you use a different name for that? No. The Harmony of Difference and Sameness? OK. So that chant is kind of the starting point for the dialectical philosophy of Soto Zen. And some of us like to study that stuff. And it's OK if you don't. You can still practice. But these old songs give us some support. So I may not have time to say much before the kids come in. This is one of my favorite songs, though, with the possible exception of Visions of Johanna. But one of the things that Sekito says is, just sitting with head covered, all things are at rest. So we practice this just sitting. Thus this mountain monk doesn't understand at all.

[30:27]

He's bragging, of course. He had a lot of understanding, but still. He also says, let go of hundreds of years and relax completely. Open your hands and walk innocent. So the point of our practice is actually to relax completely. We need to not be indulgent. We need to take care of how are we going to alleviate suffering and provide joy? How are we going to share our Zazen heart with the world? How are we going to help in our corrupt society? And yet, the point is to do that not from some tension, but from maybe from the tension of seeing that the point is to let go of hundreds of years, to let go of all of our ideas of who we are and what the world is, and relax completely.

[31:32]

So your sitting should be comfortable. You know, in session, I tell people, if you're in a lot of pain or if you're in a little pain, it's OK to sit in a chair. It's OK to change your leg position if you do it quietly. We don't have to push ourselves to be some idea of perfect Buddha. Let go of hundreds of years and relax completely. Open your hands and walk, innocent. This is the end of the song. He says, thousands of words, myriad interpretations are only to free you from obstructions. So Zen claims to be a teaching beyond words and letters, and we've developed a huge library full of words and letters about that. And I was talking earlier this weekend about how we use that. So the point isn't that you read these old stories in order to figure out something, or understand something, or get some special experience. Just to recognize something of your own's eyes and heart. It would not be, we wouldn't, you know, re-chant things that were 1200 years old just, you know, for the sake of history.

[32:46]

This has to do with our life today. How do we find our life today? How do we find our vital process of fully experiencing this vital path, this vital process and the path of going beyond Buddha? So Sekito ends, if you want to know the undying person in the hut, if you want to know your true Buddha being, don't separate from the skin bag here and now. He calls this the Song of the Grass Hut because this is a song about how we find our space of practice, individually and as a sangha. This is a practical song about What is it like when we build a grass hut? What is it like when we build a space where we can settle in and sustain this practice of settling into our inner dignity and uprightness? How do we do that? He starts by saying, I've built a grass hut where there's nothing of value. After eating, I relax and enjoy a nap.

[33:47]

So I personally have one of my practices that I most enjoy is napping. It's important to relax, to find a sustained way that you can manage to continue this practice. So rest and relaxation and whatever you find an enjoyment in is part of your practice. It's not other than your practice. It's your way of sustaining your practice. But if you want to know the undying person in the hut, if you want to know the person in this life who's going beyond Buddha. Don't separate from this skin bag here and now. Please don't run away from yourself. This skin bag here and now. We each can think that we have various deficiencies. We're getting old and we don't remember as much as we used to or that we're not old enough and we can't do the things we want to do.

[34:50]

or that we're too heavy or too thin or that our eyes aren't good or that, you know, whatever. It's very possible to fall into feeling like there's something wrong with the skin back here and now. But each one of you, right in your limitations, right in the areas where you have difficulty, there's a jewel. Right in your problem, there's a place where you can find your way of opening up this possibility of this vital process. on the path of going beyond Buddha. So our practice is just to sit and study the skin back, and get to know it, and become intimate with your own delusions. In Genjo Koan, Dogen says enlightened people are enlightened about their delusions. Deluded people have delusions about enlightenment. So if you have delusions about enlightenment, study those too. your idea of what would be a perfect Buddha, your idea of what would be a perfect Zen master. You should study those delusions.

[35:55]

But really, the point is just to enjoy being present here and now in this skin bag, to settle into it day after day. And we do this for the sake of all beings in all times, including future generations. So it's wonderful that in this sangha you take good care of the children. And they might be coming in any moment now. But until they do, we can enjoy our inhale and we can enjoy our exhale. We can settle into what it's like to be present and upright and feel what you're feeling. So it's up to me to welcome them in? I see. Okay.

[36:43]

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