Good morning, everyone. Good morning. Welcome. So we're somewhere in the middle of our three-day session, and also closing of our two-month practice period. And we've been talking about stories about suchness, just this. So I want to go over the story we talked about yesterday, about Yuen Yong saying, just this is it, we don't try looking into the stream. And I also want to talk a little bit today about our sense of the path that we're all involved with here. So again, the initial story that I've been talking about a lot is when Dongshan was getting ready to leave after studying with his teacher, Yunyang, and asks, later on, if I'm asked to describe your reality, your teaching, what should I say?

[01:11]

And Yunyang paused and said, just this is it. So that's actually, you know, maybe enough. I could just stop the talk now. Just this is it. Just remember that. Just this is it. And Dok Cheon also didn't, you know, had nothing else, nothing left to say after hearing that. Young Yan's then said, you are now in charge of this great matter. You must be most thoroughgoing. So, you know, part of this is all of the care we try and take with all of the details of our activities during Sushi, and serving food, and receiving food, and getting up from our cushion, and walking, and meditation.

[02:12]

To take good care of this, just this. But the Dongshan, after leaving, was waiting across the stream. He looked down. He saw this reflection shimmering in the stream and realized something. And wrote this verse, just don't seek from others or you'll be far estranged from self. Now I go on alone everywhere I meet it. It now is me. I now am not it. One must understand in this way to merge with suchness. So I've been talking a lot about this sentence, it now is me, I now am not it. And actually it can be read as a personal pronoun. Don't try talking about his teacher. He now is me, I now am not him. But I just realized that some people were turning it, which is a good thing to do with these stories, to play with the words and turn them around.

[03:17]

But actually, I don't think this works in both directions. So I heard this from a couple of people this weekend. I now am it, it is not me. That's not it. So the it here, well, it could be the teacher, but it also is just this reality of suchness. It now is me, I now am not it. So this I that we carry forth into the world, this self, this sense of self that we cherish and hold on to, and all of our stories and identifications of some person you think is sitting on your chair right now, or your cushion, that's not it. I am not it. So the order has changed, and the Precious Mary Summary will challenge it. I am not it, it actually is me.

[04:18]

But the direction is the same. It now is me, I now am not it. And it doesn't work the other way. You can't say, I am it, it now is not me. That's the opposite of what he's saying. So this is really slippery, really subtle, but I wanted to make that point. This is about our sense of self, or non-self, however you want to see that, and reality itself, such as itself, wholeness. Any word that I give it is not it. So we say it. But this sense of the ultimate or the universal or, again, lots of words I could use and none of them actually cover it, but we get a sense of that.

[05:26]

We experience that. Somewhere between sore backs and aching knees, we feel, sense, glimmer justice, this suchness, this possibility, not possibility, this actuality of wholeness as something that goes beyond all of our cares and pursuits and aspirations and dreams and all of the stuff that makes up this me that we cherish. I'm not... I am not it. I am not the ultimate. I am not universal. Some people, you know, have thought they were, you know, conquered vast, you know, areas of territory and proclaimed dynasties and so forth, but they all crumble eventually.

[06:27]

So... Anyway, I just wanted to make this point, that it works in one direction. I am not it, but it actually is me. It, this wholeness, actually is each one of us sitting here. But we don't encompass it, you know. But we're part of it. So, Dogen says that to carry the self forward and experience myriad things is delusion. He doesn't say that's enlightenment, he says that's delusion. That the many things come forth and experience themselves is awakening. Now we have both sides, we're not trying to get rid of delusion, because how could we do that? Even if everything drops away, the next day you're going to wake up and there'll be more problems. If not, you're somebody else's. So, anyway, I am not it, but it now is me. Just this is it. This suchness is.

[07:29]

It's not just me. It's everything. It's each one of us. It even includes Hector and Kate. All of us. Everything. Just this. So, I wanted to make that point about the direction of it. I'm not it. It is me. I don't know what else to say about it, so maybe we can discuss this more this afternoon in tea, but it's slippery. It's actually interesting to say it the other way around. I am it, it's not me. Well, look at why that doesn't work. So, here we are, engaged in this practice of settling into how it is to be present, how it is to be part of everything arising.

[08:39]

And then our stuff comes up, and we have to face that stuff. The I that is not it. All of the pieces of the I, all of the confusion, the fear, the anxiety, The craving and grasping, the anger and confusion and frustration, you know, all of it. That's not it. But, we have to face both sides of this. And, you know, one of the things about our tradition the Dongshan, Dogen, Suzuki Roshi, whatever, tradition is, it's not step by step. You learn this, then you learn that, then you learn that. There are lots of things in the world and lots of spiritual traditions that are about that, that are about making progress.

[09:45]

And eventually, great enlightenment and illumination throughout the world or whatever you think might happen. This is different from that. So our path starts at the top of the mountain. So a couple of stories about that. Don't try to ask the monk, where have you come from? And the monk responded, from wandering in the mountains, Dongshan asked, did you reach the peak? And the monk said, yes. Dongshan asked if there was anyone on the peak. The monk replied, no, there was not. Dongshan said, if so, then you didn't reach the peak. Of course, if there was no one there, how could this monk have been there? But this month, I wish I knew his name.

[10:49]

He didn't become a famous teacher, but he was pretty good at something. He said, if I did not reach the peak, how could I have known there was no one there? So you kind of start at the mountaintop. You start just sitting. And whatever happens is OK. There's no object, and there's no objective. It's just OK. Here you are. You can't do Zazen wrong. Of course, we imagine that if our mind is racing, or we're sleepy, or there's a pain here or there, somewhere on our seat, we think, oh no, this can't be it. But actually, just this is it. This is a really challenging path, because we all want something to do. No. We all want some activity that we can take it on and learn about and get good at it and then we feel, oh yeah, this isn't like that.

[11:57]

Sorry. So this monk said, if I did not reach the peak, how could I have known there was no one there? So after this revelation, Dongshan asked why this monk had not remained on the mountain top. And their monk was very honest. He said he would have been inclined to do that. But there was someone from the West who would not have approved. So he was probably referring to Buddha or Bodhidharma, who came from the West. And Dongshan praised the monk. So yeah, this is an important story for us. So on some level, we start at the mountaintop. There's no one there. And yet, we make up stories about someone. And it's much more comfortable to have some program that we can follow that we'll get to somewhere.

[13:03]

So there are lots of practices like that. And practically speaking, there are lots focusing tools, meditation objects that we can use, and I talk about those. You can follow your breath, or you can count breaths, and that helps, helps settle, helps remain present. Or just come back to posture and breath, or listen to the sounds, sounds of the air conditioner turning off and on, or somebody coming into the room, or whatever. Or, I encourage mantra during zazen. Take a phrase from the teaching, or the mantra at the end of the heart sutra, or you could just say, just this is it. Just this is it. Just this is it. Just this is it. Or some other phrase. This song of the grasshopper has this wonderful line.

[14:10]

Let go of hundreds of years and relax completely. Let go of hundreds of years and relax completely. Let go of hundreds of years and relax completely. So you can say that to yourself silently, please, while you're sitting. Anyway, there are lots of, and there are many, many, many, there are libraries full of meditation objects through the Buddhist tradition. And I'm not saying that that's bad at all. In fact, when we see that here we are, just this is it. You know, it's kind of interesting to go and look at some of those programs of making progress and stages of the path. And it might be good to study them even too, you know, because you might meet somebody who would be helped by that and you can share it. Or, you know, sometimes we need to use whatever helps.

[15:11]

But fundamentally, this tradition is about just this immediacy. This is sometimes called sudden awakening. It's not about something that's going to happen if you come to lots of sashings. Eventually, someday in the future, huzzah, you know, that's not it. Now, it's true that we start at the mountaintop and over time that the richness and the wonder and the enjoyment and the skill of conveying what that's about and how we express it in our everyday activity does develop. So I also emphasize sustaining practice, sitting regularly. Because it does deepen, it does flower, it does open. But it's not about getting to somewhere else. That's the point.

[16:21]

So the monk said he would have liked to have stayed there on the mountaintop. And when we see just this, sometimes it's wonderful. So some of you, during the course of a day or two or three of sitting, may have some experience of just relief and pleasure, and enjoy that. And during a retreat, or especially sometimes if you go to some mountaintop in Tibet or California, go to Tuscarora or someplace where you can do a lot of meditation for a long time, you get to sense what that is. You know, you can say metaphorically, the mountain top, even if you're sort of somewhere on the side of the mountain. And it's wonderful. And you want to hang out there.

[17:22]

That's natural. But it's dangerous. So all the Buddhas and ancestors say, don't do that. You can hang out for a while. And, you know, when I was living in Tessachar, I used to feel that way. I've told people, stay there as long as you can, but don't stay forever. You have to come back and hang out on some street corner in Chicago or wherever. But just sitting one period of Zazen, in some ways, here we are. But then, you know, Buddha or Bodhidharma would say, Bodhidharma went all the way from India to China because we can't hang out there forever. But we start there in this tradition, in some sense. And then you can get confused and have all kinds of questions and, oh no, you see all the stuff that you don't like about yourself or the world or, you know,

[18:33]

And then you have to sit with it. But the point is that it's not about something else somewhere else. So there's another story. This is Dongshan and one of his main disciples, Yunzhu, who is, you say in Japanese, ungodoya daisho. He's the disciple of Dongshan, from whom I am each comes. And once Dongshan asked Yunzhu where he'd been, And he replied that he'd been walking in the mountains. Don't try to ask if he had found a mountain to reside on. It's a place to settle. Start sitting there and have other people come. And... Yenju said, very definitely, that none of them were suitable for residing. Dongshan asked, oh, have you visited all of the mountains in the country?

[19:37]

And Yanju said, no, I haven't. So Dongshan said, oh, then we must have found an entry path. And Yanju again said, no, there's no path. Dongshan said, if there's no path, how could you have come to be here, in my eyes, on this old mountain. And Jung just said this interesting thing, if there were a path, then there would be a mountain standing between us. Dongshan approved, saying that henceforth, not even 10,000 people could hold down Injun. So the very idea of a path assumes separation. There are various ways to see the path. In Buddhism, there are various descriptions of the path. There's the Eightfold Path, for example, which is the fourth level, which includes right action, right effort, right mindfulness, right speech, right livelihood.

[20:48]

But it's not a sequential path. It's the circle of all of the practices that are beneficial. towards liberation, or the six perfections or the ten perfections, generosity, ethical conduct, patience, energy, meditation, prashna, wisdom. But it's not that you do one and then you go to the next. Some people approach these things like that, and there are some versions of the path that are like that. trying to get to some goal. It's okay if you have goals in your life. Of course, in our everyday activity, we have jobs, we have relationships, we have families, we have things we want to get done, or do, or aspirations. That's fine. It's not that you shouldn't do any of those things. In fact, why this is so difficult, this Southern practice, is that

[21:51]

Well, almost everything in our life is about trying to get somewhere else. We start with going to school. They force kids to go to kindergarten, and then first grade, second grade, third grade, and go through all these different grades. Anyway, our whole way of living is about doing something. getting somewhere else. Now, we can talk about that in terms of our acquisitive consumerist culture, but I think it's part of human consciousness. We want to get something, or we want to get rid of something. So it's very deeply ingrained that we want to be somewhere else. So I want to suggest to you, along with possibly looking at I Am Not It, It Now Is Me, and seeing how it's not the opposite, that one of the things that might be useful as you sit, period after period, today and if you're staying tomorrow, is to look at this sense of separation.

[23:03]

Yonju was saying that if there was a path, I would be on a different mountain. I wouldn't be able to meet you. And he's celebrating his communion. She's right there. So as you're sitting, look at how it comes up all the time. Thinking about how you, you know, if I can only make it through the next period, then I'll get lunch. You know, we're always, we're always, it's just so deep in us that we're thinking about being somewhere else. Being some time else. If only the bell would ring and I could get up. Can you look? So, you know, one practice might be to just actually be where you are, sitting on the seat you're sitting on, with the body and mind on your cushion or chair, and enjoy that.

[24:12]

There you are, on the mountain top. Just this is it. Cool. However, practically speaking, it's like studying patience. Practicing patience is about studying your impatience, seeing how the impatience arises. So as you're sitting, look at all the ways in which you want to be somewhere else. If I only did this, then I would get to there. It's very deep in us. And it's not that that's bad, but we should just see that this is how we are, and that actually it's also possible to just feel this present situation. And then, you know, almost by necessity, some other thought comes up or some feeling.

[25:28]

Eventually. You know, sometimes you might hang out in a space where there's not much going on. What is that talking head song? Heaven is a place where nothing really happens. Nothing ever happens. Well, you know, stuff is happening. The air conditioner clicks on. There's some ache in our shoulders or our knees. Stuff is happening. But here we are. And, you know, you could be outside enjoying the beautiful weather. Actually, I guess it's raining now. You could be outside singing in the rain. But here we are. And it's okay. Actually, it really, really is okay to be right where you are.

[26:34]

You might be uncomfortable, and you might have some problems, and you might, you know, there's all kinds of things we could complain about, every single one of us. But just this is it. And again, when you feel that, you know, Buddha doesn't want us to stay there. Actually, Buddha wanted to stay there. The story was that Buddha awakened and he had this great enlightenment, and he thought, nobody's going to understand anything I say about this. Well, maybe so, but... And he was going to just check out into Nirvana. They say in Buddhism, the most dangerous attachment is the attachment to non-attachment. So when you reach some place of, you know, where you actually are occupying your mantra, you're seeing just this. Enjoy it, but then, you know, when the bell rings, please get up and walk with us.

[27:38]

So maybe it's a little difficult to, reach such a state, you know, in a storefront temple in Chicago, with people coming and going, you know, everyday excision, and with, you know, all kinds of situations in your life, you know. So maybe we're, we have some immunity from this disease of wanting to hang out in a mountaintop. It's hard to be a saint in the city. But here we are. So again, I'm suggesting this as a practice. And it's not about accomplishing this practice and making progress in it. Every time some practice thumbs up. Some part of us wants to get it right, to get better at it.

[28:49]

It's so deep in us. But just notice when you want to, as you're sitting there and the brain is secreting its thoughts and you're floating down some thoughts stream, it's trying to get a hold of something better. This idea of progress is particularly ingrained in our society, or it used to be, I don't know, maybe it isn't anymore, things are falling apart so much, but the idea that through science and technology we'll have more better inventions and a better way of life and be able to communicate great distances and know what's going on in China and in Houston and in Nepal and in Palestine or wherever. And we'll be able to send emails to friends across the country.

[29:54]

And then, you know, so does that progress make our life better? Well, maybe. but also never get very busy trying to keep track of it all. Next week I'm going to be staying with an old friend of mine in New York who I started practicing with years ago. I sent you there. And he has a telephone, but he doesn't use computers. He doesn't have email. He doesn't Twitter or Twitter or whatever that is. He doesn't do Facebook. But he doesn't even have a message machine on his telephone. I have to try and call him until he's actually gone.

[31:03]

He just doesn't do any of this. It's possible. So I'm not saying that progress is bad. I'm not saying that you shouldn't try and accomplish things. In fact, when we when we taste this, this, just this, it's right here, it's right now, it's somewhere right around your seat. It's kind of what brought you here. But then, you know, this also is natural, it's not just that justice is it, is that somehow we need to convey it, we need to share it, we need to express it.

[32:08]

So, Jung Hyun said, you are now in charge of this great matter, please be most through it on. Now you have it, preserve it well. How do we take care of it? So yeah, so there is stuff we need to do in the world. It's not that we're on some mountaintop and everything is just lovely and, you know, there's suffering in the world. That's the other starting point for our practice. And we're all suffering in various ways. And there's people who are suffering in severe ways nearby. And so, when we have a taste of this suchness, it's not that we should try and escape to some other place, but naturally, We want to be helpful. We want to not cause harm or stop others from causing harm. So this isn't about, you know, passively sitting on the top of a mountain.

[33:14]

It's about seeing that we are connected, seeing that I'm not it, but it now is me. It includes each of us in everything. respond and be helpful in the world? How do we take care of the difficulties of the world? And then, you know, once we enter into that, then of course we need to look at programs and, you know, engage in various steps of how to be helpful, and there's lots of stuff to do. So it's not that you should... So if you are paying attention to how you want to be someplace else, well, what's that about? When that comes up in the middle of your zazen, some plan or some project or some progress or something else, okay, well, is that coming from appreciation of just this and of wanting to share it?

[34:21]

Is it helpful? How does our... We chant the Bodhisattva vows at the end of each of our events. Beings are numberless, I vow to free them. What is it? What helps beings? And then we have to look at all the different kinds of beings, and it's complicated. So yeah, then we get into programs and progress and all of that. But can we do it from having seen the mountaintop? taken some time to just sit, to commune with just this. So anyway, this is something we can actually look at as we're sitting here. And there's lots of aspects of this. And it's OK if you don't do any of that. Just sit. So I don't have anything else to say.

[35:23]

right now, amazingly. But we'll have time for discussion this afternoon over tea. But if anybody has a comment or a question or two, we can do that now. Any responses? David, just an observation. Couldn't hear you. Just an observation. This is a koan that I wrote. First case that I'm studying, this is, now I heard a third, this is the third understanding of the corona I've had. I had my own, then I had another one, now I'm having a third. It seems like it's, it's developing. Yeah, the world is alive, yeah. So these old stories, the point isn't to figure them out. They're not nonsense riddles.

[36:27]

They're sort of a logic to awakening. But it's not our usual way of thinking. So don't worry. Don't try and figure out anything. I mean, if you do, that's fine, if that's what you like to do. to allow these stories to be part of your presence, and things arise from that. And, you know, play with them, see where they lead you. So, thank you all very much for your efforts here today to just enjoy this suchness.

[37:27]

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