We tend to get involved in projecting, which is natural and, of course, necessary. He talks about when you drive to Los Angeles, you know, I'm going to drive to Los Angeles and there's Highway 5 or Highway 1 or various ways to get there and you choose which way you're going to get there. And then all you have to do is drive. So you're not thinking when you're driving, I'm going to get to Los Angeles. I'm really going to go to Los Angeles. I'm driving because I'm going to... You don't think that way. You just think, now I'm driving. And I'll get to Los Angeles if I just follow the road. So, the most important thing is where you are and how you're doing what you're doing at the moment. Los Angeles will appear in six hours.

[01:03]

You don't have to worry about it. All you have to do is do what you're doing now. Which reminds me of, like, when we cook in the kitchen. We know we start breakfast a little earlier than, you know, while people are coming in the Zendo. And we know that breakfast is supposed to be done at a certain time. You know that. And you know that you have to cook the cereal, and you have to make the... get the juice going, and the tempeh going, and the vegetables have to be chopped, and everything has to be done. And you're working with two or three people, and if you think, keep thinking, this has to be done. at a certain time. This has to be done as in, you'll be late. Because instead of just doing what you're doing, you're worried about getting on time.

[02:06]

If you set your mental clock to, this meal will be done at this time, and then you forget about it, and just do the work Almost all the time. But if we keep thinking too much about the goal, we lose moment. And when you lose the moment, you lose the rhythm. And the rhythm that you set up, once you decide how long this is going to take, the rhythm, you set up the rhythm automatically. come out on time. So doing that kind of work is pleasure.

[03:08]

It's not a chore. And you can live your life completely in that, and pleasurably in that space and in that length of time. Everything you do works out quite well. It's like when you want to wake up in the morning, we do set our alarm clocks because we don't trust ourselves, mostly. But you can trust yourself if you say, when you go to bed, I'm going to wake up at five o'clock. And you go to sleep, and at five o'clock you wake up. You can do that. So we have, once we know what we're doing, and we forget or let go of constraints. We tend to work harmoniously and let the work appear.

[04:10]

Let the work and the activity become one and the anxiety is gone. It's the same when we're serving in Zendo. to set a pace which if we know what time the meals is to be served and how long it should take and we say well we should be done by this time and you just let that happen then the rhythm and the pace with which you do the serving is easy and relaxed. And yet it's not too fast and it's not too slow. If we have this hurried feeling that everybody gets uptight, you know, do I have to, I really have to start in order to get done, you know, and then we're all sitting there waiting for the next thing because the rhythm is off.

[05:22]

So, and if it's too slow, everybody can kind of drooping. So I wish the servers would come. I wish they'd get here. And the other way is, wait a minute, whoa, whoa. So to find just the right pace, how do you find just the right pace to be in each moment, to be in each step so that it's actually a pleasure to serve and it's not a hurry kind of trying to get done for some What's the purpose? It's nice if the meal ends on time, so to speak, so that we're not cutting time off of the break. Nobody likes to cut time off of the break. So to have that, to be in our activity, to just be totally in our activity, So that it's not too fast, not too slow, and it's comfortable, but it all gets done in exactly the right amount of time.

[06:29]

So, it's not skill. It's not skill. It's simply being in our body, just totally being in our body. And totally being in our consciousness. And it's called forgetting ourself. It's really forgetting ourself. and allowing the activity itself to flow easily and smoothly. And when we do that, even though we may have various resistances, and our minds and emotions are not always calm and at ease, But when we allow ourselves to flow in that way, our mind and our emotions and feelings fall into place and we can forget everything else.

[07:32]

And Zazen is the same way. I always like to say, when we sit down, we give ourselves Zazen instruction. And when we give ourselves Zazen instruction, we become... we let go of everything else. When you're giving yourself Zazen instruction, you're not thinking about your friend, or somebody you hate, or the bad things that happen to you, or the good things that happen to you. You're simply being one with Zazen. Being one with the position. Putting your whole body and mind into the activity. And then you can forget yourself. And then you keep giving yourself instruction for 40 minutes. Zazen is not just being a lump.

[08:37]

People used to refer to Zazen as rice bags, you know, sitting in a row. As if, you know, in one sense, you know, maybe you've forgotten yourself, but there's no energy, no effort in it. There's no spark. As long as it should be alive and vital. It's not just, you know, being a lump of clay. So the energy and Vitality is the active side, and the letting go is the passive side. So active and passive are balancing each other, totally, perfectly balanced. If you slump, you know, when we're sleeping, you know, it's really hard to... When we just slump, there's no vitality.

[09:42]

So although we are doing 40 minutes of sitting, it's not really zazen in a fundamental way. Anyway, I want to read some of these quotes of Suzuki Roshi that are very interesting. When I opened my old Zen Mind Beginner's Mind, I found this poem called Rohatsu by a guy named Norman Schaefer. I don't know who that is. He says, day and night in this chilly hall, the little group sits cross-legged. I try to forget myself, press on with the task, but the week goes by without enlightenment. Knees aching, and tired of making the effort. A woman asks this morning, why am I doing this?

[10:46]

I know better than to try to answer. When I open my mouth, it will be for lunch. So, he talks about, he said, he gave, there's a little quote here, he went to Reed College in Portland in 71. He said, the Bodhisattva way is many ways, but the most important point is to become one with others, to be kind and to have a warm feeling for others, with your mouth or with your life.

[11:52]

to give teaching or to give material things without any idea of giving or receiving. This is called true dhana, is to give and receive without any thought of giving and receiving. We don't say, would you give me a receipt? When we give something, we don't expect anything. We simply give. Just giving and forgetting. Just receiving and expressing appreciation. The hardest thing, you know, for many people is to receive. And the hardest thing for other people is to give. But knowing how to receive something is very important because otherwise it's pretty hard to give. So how to accept kindness and how to accept when people offer something.

[12:59]

So giving and receiving, just giving with a warm heart to help people in various ways, making tea or scrubbing the floor or cleaning the restroom without any idea of this restroom is dirty. is the Bodhisattva way. Just with a warm good feeling you clean the restroom. In that way you can help people and you have no confusion or suffering. This is how you extend Zazen practice into your everyday life. So, this is always a big question for people. How do I extend Zazen practice into my daily life? Just let go of self-centeredness. is to extend your practice into your everyday life. Just to let go of selfishness and self-centeredness and be generous. Just be generous. It doesn't have to do anything special.

[14:07]

There's no special thing that's a Zen practice in your daily life. You just simply let it go of ourself. and acting with a warm heart and realizing that all those we practice with other people, with people and with stones and trees and our surroundings. So we plus myself plus my surroundings is myself. Myself minus my surroundings is not myself. This is why often we, I think, Japanese Buddhists always don't like, they always reject doing practice by yourself.

[15:10]

Because when we do practice by ourself, it can easily lead to isolation. and then can easily lead to self-centeredness, which is the opposite of what practice is about. We're simply doing something for ourself. So the reason we practice is we've come to practice for ourself. But once our practice matures, we understand that practice is not just for myself. Practice is to forget myself and to merge with my surroundings. So that whatever I do has a positive effect on my surroundings. And so each one of us, the practice of each one of us is a Buddha field. And it's a field of influence. If we're always cranky and nasty, that's our field of influence.

[16:18]

And this is what we project into the world. If we have loving kindness and compassion and generosity, that's what we project into the world and it affects our world. So what we project is what comes back. So we're always projecting something all the time, moment to moment, all of our activity is creating an effect on our surroundings. And sometimes we say, well, what's the sense of practice? It looks like we're just isolating ourselves when we sit satin. But actually, we're influencing each other, and we're encouraging each other. And the energy and influence of doing satin has far-reaching effects which are not visible.

[17:22]

They may be visible to some, but not visible to most. Because Zazen is not simply a personal act. We don't do Zazen just to help ourselves. Zazen is a generous act which connects us to the whole universe. And we realize everything in the universe is practicing Zazen. If we just feel that we're doing Zazen in an inanimate world, it's not Zazen. So if the restroom is dirty, we don't.

[18:28]

This is why if we have some special intention, it doesn't work. This is what is really, I think, important about Samu or Soji. Soji is like, you know, when we all get out there with a broom and sweep the grounds. Samu is working. in a more extended way. So, although we know that we have a project to do, well, this is the project, and so we want to get it done. But when we actually start doing the work, it's just doing the work. We do the work for the sake of the work, not necessarily for the sake of the result. But if we do the work for the sake of the work, there's a wonderful result. If we just did Zazen for the sake of Zazen, without thinking of the result, or worrying about the result, there's a wonderful result.

[19:40]

But if you think, I'm going to do Zazen for this result, there's no result. You're actually blocking Zazen. So there's no special purpose. When we wash the windows, although they get clean, we simply put the emphasis on washing the window, on the activity itself. As he says, when you clean the bathroom, you simply put the emphasis on the activity itself, and you can enjoy I'm going to clean it up, make it smell good. That's okay, but then you forget that, and you simply do the activity for the sake of the activity. Then there's no problem. There's no self in it.

[20:43]

This is how we practice without self. Even though there is a self, there is no self. And when we let our nature do the work, it's selfless activity. So when we let go of aggrandizement or pride, When those are there, we're actually blocking ourself. Because we're creating a self. When we say self-creating, it means that we're creating a self all the time.

[21:47]

And it's the self that stands in the way of Our small self stands in the way of our big self. So Zazen itself is letting go. If we want to get something, we simply block Zazen. It's like, how do you stand without leaning on anything? So the most important thing is, what do we depend on? What do we depend on? Well, I don't depend on this, and I don't depend on that, and I don't... Until you peel everything away, and so you can see what you really depend on. So we have many crutches.

[22:50]

You know, we eat with our eyes, we eat with our ears, We're hungry for our mouth and for our touch and for our smell and our ideas. But what do we really need? What is it that supports us, that really supports us? When we understand what really supports ears, we can eat with our mouth, we can eat with our feelings, our smell, and our ideas. But until we find out what is really fundamental, the most fundamental, we're really lost in our appetite. He says, to help people in various ways, making tea or scrubbing the floor or cleaning the restroom without any idea of the restroom is dirty is the Bodhisattva way.

[24:12]

Just with a warm good feeling you clean the restroom. In that way you can help people and you have no confusion or suffering. This is how you extend Zazen practice to your everyday life. He says, in another talk, he says, the most important thing is to confront with yourself and to be yourself. Then naturally, you know, you can accept things as they are and you can see things as they are. If you have perfect wisdom at that time, And he also says, so each time you sit, you know, it is necessary for you to do your best in your practice. Anyway, if you only sit, you know, in the cross-legged position for 40 minutes, that is Zazen, you may think. But that is not Zazen.

[25:14]

If it is preparation, OK. Like you practice yoga, it is OK. But you know, the most important point should be all your effort physical and spiritual. So, this is what I was taught. Zazen is your whole body, mind, with all your effort. Effort doesn't mean to put excess energy into what you're doing. It means to find exactly the right level of energy that you need. Total effort is to find the right balance between exertion and relaxation. I don't like to say relaxation, but because all... Relaxation is to find ease.

[26:23]

within the effort. So, it's like the conservation of energy. Conservation of energy is just the right amount of effort to do the most work. It's like when you're trying to move a rock, a big rock, and you have a pole under the rock So how do you move the rock? You know, you can put the pole in such a way that even though you exert all your strength, you can't move the rock. But if you know just the right balance to where the pole, you have a rock and then you have another rock and the pole is going under the rock and on top of the other rock. And then you put the pole in such a way that you're using just the least amount of energy to move the rock. That's what you do with your body in Satsang. You use just the right amount of energy to sit up straight and continue to sit up straight so that the energy or the effort is not so much.

[27:36]

It's simply balance and conservation of energy. But the energy is freely flowing and not excessive. The effort is not excessive. But the work that it does is perfect. So you're always looking for that balance, that place where you're balancing. And so you always, you know, it looks like stiff and rigid, but it's actually very fluid. Your body should feel very fluid, and at the same time, the form is upright. And so, what you do in Zazen is continually look for that balance, because the balance is always changing, always shifting. So, okay, I sit up, and I put my hands in the mudra, and I push my lower back forward, and I keep my head on top of my spine, and do all these things.

[28:46]

That is the perfect form. But within the form, it's all ease. It's all easy. It's not rigid. You don't need to pour yourself into concrete. And you're always looking for that place where the balance is. Where is the place where the balance is between the upper body and the lower body? And there's a rod that goes from your belly through your lower back. And that's the place. That's the fulcrum. That's the place of balance. And so you're continually coming back to that balance. And when you work that way in Zazen, you let go of yourself. It's simply this body.

[29:47]

Taking good care of this body. So he says, each time you sit, it's necessary for you to do your best in your practice. That's the most important part. Well, he says, I want to explain about our posture. He says, when you sit, left foot is on the right side, and right foot is on, he's talking about full lotus position, and right foot is on your left side. This is why it's nice to sit in the full lotus position, if you can.

[30:52]

When we cross our legs like this, although we have a right and a left foot, it is actually one. So when you cross your legs with one like this, you can't tell which is which, because it's just one thing. But it's still two things at the same time. Although we have right foot and left foot, it is actually one. So it means oneness of the duality, not two and not one. This is the most important teaching. Not two and not one. Our body and mind is not two and not one. If you say it's one, that's only half right. And if you say it's two, that's only half right. So it's not just two or just one. It's two and also one. So if you try to keep this posture, you'll find some difficulty

[31:56]

in your breathing, but by the time you get accustomed to the right posture, you will have natural deep breathing. And you pull your chin in. This is a very important point. If you sit in this way, in this way, if you sit like this, with your head up, we used to call that ego. But now we call it something else. If you sit in this way, with your head tilted up, you will never gain strength in your posture. This is a rather dreamy posture. You are dreaming of something. The most important point is to own your physical body. If you take this posture, slumping, you will lose your body. Your body is somewhere else and your mind is too. Your mind and body are wandering around somewhere. The key point is this. You must have your mind and body.

[32:59]

Everything should exist in the right place. When every existence is in the right place, in the right way, there is no problem. But if this microphone exists somewhere else, it doesn't serve its own purpose. So everything should be located in the right place, in the right way. In other words, when you sit Satsang, all the parts of your body should be in the right place, in the right way, in relation to each other. That's Sazen. Everything, all the parts of the body, 365 bones, or whatever it is, and all the limbs, and trunk, and head, and so on, all should be harmoniously lined up with each other, and in harmonious conjunction. Because each piece is independent. Each part of our body is independent. There are hundreds of parts, but they all are doing one thing together.

[34:01]

Doing one act together. So, that's what it means. If you continue that kind of practice, in that way, you always feel ready for things. And you don't have a lot on your mind that causes you a lot of pain. Do you have a question? How do you know you're making enough of an effort? What tells you that? Well, you ask a question. Am I making enough of an effort? That's called confronting yourself. So you should always be confronting yourself.

[35:04]

Am I making enough of an effort? You have to question yourself. The answer is generally no. Okay. Okay. That's better than I don't know. It's better than I don't know. I don't know. You see, you don't feel like you are, right? Generally, you know, I don't feel like I am. Yeah, there's always more, right? You know, if there wasn't always more, then the practice would be useless. There's always more. No matter how far we get, there's always more. You know, everything crumbles. When everything is built, it crumbles, eventually.

[36:07]

And so, when we say, oh, this is right, five minutes later, it's wrong. Oh, okay, this is right. Five minutes later, oh, it's wrong. So you have to keep exerting yourself moment after moment. If you keep exerting yourself moment after moment, you know, that's right. That's Shepherd. But, you know, everything is falling out of balance moment by moment and regaining its balance. So there's never a right or a wrong moment. We expect that things will crumble. We expect that our effort on this moment will give way to the next moment. We have to expect that. So that's why we have to find our place and our way on each moment.

[37:08]

There's no extended time. There's just this moment, this moment, this moment. Satsang is just this moment, this moment, this moment. And when we follow the breath, it's just this breath at this moment. This breath at this moment. So there's no right or wrong. It's simply, if I lose my awareness, the next moment I find my awareness. I lose my awareness, the next moment I find my awareness. That's the rhythm of life. So I noticed you mentioned best several times. You just do your best. Best, yeah. And of course that gets me to thinking about what about just doing something good enough?

[38:15]

Well, that's your best. If you can do something good enough, that may be your best. You're not trying to be an athlete. You're simply trying to exist with presence, moment by moment. You're not trying to do the 100 yard dash in 10 seconds. You're simply living your life completely, moment by moment. Good enough is alright, whatever that is. Where's the measure for good enough? What good enough? For one person, good enough means one thing. For somebody else, good enough means something else. A person in a wheelchair is always sitting down. What is good enough for that person? What is Zazen for that person? If you don't have any legs, what is Zazen for you?

[39:19]

So, each one, each person has their own abilities. There's no comparison. We should not compare ourselves to each other. We do encourage each other. And there are certain standards that we have. But there's the ideal and the actual. This is a good subject. What's the ideal and the actual? Ideally, you have Zazen instruction. fundamental way to do something. And then you have your own actual abilities. So you pay attention to your own actual ability. You know what the standard is, but you can do this much. And you should feel satisfied with what you can actually do. That's why, you know, we straighten people's posture and all this, but actually... Go back down again.

[40:27]

So when I work with people's posture, I work with the ideal. But when I see how they cannot, a person cannot come up to that ideal, then I see that, well, the actuality of what that person can do is what they're doing. And I leave them alone. I don't try to straighten out people over and over again forever. I know that the person has found the way they can sit, which is good enough. So everybody has to find their own good enough within the ideal. And that's good enough. To say good, that's good. To say not good enough, that's good. Really good. Good enough has the feeling, well, you know, it's okay, but no, it's really good.

[41:31]

Good enough in this sense is really good. So, I know it's time to go. I just want to read this poem again as a conclusion. Day and night in the chilly hall, the little group sits cross-legged. I try to forget myself, press on with the task, but the week goes by without enlightenment. Knees aching and tired of making the effort. A woman asks this morning, why am I doing this? I know better than to try to answer. When I open my mouth, it will be for lunch. So, you know, enlightenment is within our effort. It's really within our effort.

[42:33]

You're not striving for enlightenment. You're simply making the effort to do what you're doing. And that's where the enlightenment is. If you try to grasp it, or even recognize it, you lose it. That's what it means to be unselfconscious. practicing this life.

[43:02]

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