May 27th, 1989, Serial No. 00721

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BZ-00721
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Lecture

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Good evening. Can you hear me? Does that work? It feels a little awkward to me to have people sitting over here behind the altar where I can't see them. So anybody sitting over in the corner on my left hand side who wants to sit on the floor over here is welcome to. I think you can just pick up your Zavitan and move. Just come as close as you want. Pick up the black mats And you can come even closer if you want to. Because my voice is not going to carry all the way.

[01:02]

I'm sorry. Just come right up close. It's OK. That's a little better. Well, it's a pleasure to see everyone this evening. And this is the first time I've been to Tassajara since the guest season has begun. I want to tell you how good it feels to me to see how harmoniously everyone is practicing together.

[02:15]

Of course, there are always problems, and there's always a little conflict, but the feeling here is quite wonderful. always at this time of year the strain begins to show on the students. The older students have been practicing for six months during the training periods and they've been sitting a lot of zazen. All morning they sit zazen during the practice period and People don't come or go. And the practice period has a very insular feeling, very wonderful, very family-like feeling, and hard practice.

[03:18]

And during the guest season, we open our monastery to the world. So this reflects two sides of our practice. One side is we take care of ourself and cultivate our character. Self-training. Or you may call it self-cultivation. And then during the guest season, there's an abrupt switch and we extend our practice and embrace the world. And it can be quite a shock for the students.

[04:24]

It's a very different kind of practice. One is the practice of turning inward and the other is the practice of extending ourself outward, so to speak. So during this guest season, it's very easy for the students to start losing their way because they don't have the stability that they had during the practice periods. And they work long hard hours, gets hot, and sometimes they wonder, where's the practice? So it's very important for us to know, where's the practice? For each one of us, this is the most important thing.

[05:25]

Where's the practice? What am I doing? What am I really doing? Some of the students, like the guest cooks, don't even have an opportunity to put two tzatzis in during the summer. So sometimes it feels, oh, we're just working, working, working. Where is our practice? So it's important to realize that work is practice. This is the other side of our activity. How we extend our practice and understanding into our daily activity

[06:29]

So when we cultivate our character, when we practice self-cultivation, this is also extending ourself. And when we practice work, this is also self-cultivation. So in each side, the other side is included, but it's easy to forget. And it's easy not to see it when we start having difficulty with each other, start to, when we have personality difficulties, when things are not going our way, when we're overworked, when someone is telling us what to do, we don't like it, All these little problems that come up every day should be treated as a way to practice.

[07:40]

Each thing, each thing that comes up is an opportunity to practice. This is very important to understand. Otherwise, we just start getting turned around by our feelings, emotions, thoughts, and lose our way. So what's important for a Zen student is to maintain a calm mind, stable mind, a mind of equanimity that is not partial to anything and which does not allow us to get thrown off. This is a kind of testing ground. So for a Zen student, what is very important is to always maintain a stable mind.

[09:00]

a mind of calm, stable mind, which is an extension of deep zazen. So whether or not we're sitting, we're always expressing the stability of our zazen mind. So everything is a test. If we see our whole life or our practice life as a test, moment by moment, as soon as we start to see that we're being thrown off balance, we find our balance.

[10:04]

As soon as we realize that we're getting angry or getting caught by anger, we make an effort to find our balance. Whenever we're getting caught by desire, we make an effort to find our balance. So each thing that comes up is a cautionary warning. What's happening now? What is this? Where is stability? Where is calmness of mind? So for a Zen student, this is more important than anything else. It's the most important thing. If you look at why we're here, doing what we're doing, we cannot overlook this fact.

[11:12]

We're not here to get rich or to acquire something, but to realize our fundamental nature and to cultivate our character. which expresses our enlightened mind. The true expression of enlightenment is what our character looks like. So, The question comes up, how do I remind myself how to practice in this situation?

[12:30]

Well, there are many ways to remind ourself of how we're practicing in this situation. There's generosity, following the rules, making sure that we have a patient mind. But one very concrete way to practice is to always be aware of breath. Breath is the simplest most direct way to wake up, to be aware of breath, is the simplest, most direct way of waking up. I say waking up because when we start being caught by our feelings, emotions and thoughts,

[13:46]

It's that we start dreaming. It's a kind of waking dream. We fall into a kind of waking dream. And zazen is to wake up from dreaming. Not that there's something wrong with dreaming, but To always be present in the reality of this moment is our business. So when we sit Zazen, we fall into a dream and then we wake up. And then we start dreaming and then we wake up. And the effort to stay awake is called Zazen.

[14:53]

So we're dreaming, and then we wake up. Dream, and then wake, like this, thousands of times in one sitting. And we do the same thing in our waking life. We start dreaming, and then we wake up. And something makes us wake up. We stub our toe and we wake up. So, how do we stay awake? How do we stay awake in our daily life? In Zazen, we wake up and pay attention to our breath. Just to be aware of the breath. just to be aware of the rising and falling of our breath is to wake up.

[16:10]

No need to dream about it or even think about it, just to be aware. So in our daily life, in our working day, just to be aware of our breath, which goes beyond thinking, beyond dreaming, beyond feelings, beyond emotion, to walk with awareness of breath, to pick up the pot with awareness of breath, to put on clothes with the awareness of breath, to interact with the awareness of breath. Of course, we don't have that awareness all the time.

[17:15]

But for a Zen student, we should cultivate that awareness. It's the same awareness that you wake up to in Zazen. So, this one simple direct fact of life is the same for both sitting and activity, daily activity. Breath is the link between thinking and between the body and the mind. It's the unifying factor between the body and the mind. Body, breath, mind.

[18:17]

So awareness of the body, that's also necessary. And awareness of thinking or consciousness, and awareness of breath. When these three are harmonized, then when they're harmonized with awareness, then we're awake. So to be aware of breath is to be aware of our body postures, our movement. And to be aware of our breath, body postures and feelings, emotions and thoughts is a compassionate activity.

[19:26]

And when we extend this, when we are aware of this activity within ourself, our actions extend to others with compassion. It's just pure compassion. There's nothing in between. So this unity or this non-divided mind, non-divided body, mind, and breath. It's pure activity. Just pure being. So we need to remind ourself of what we're doing all the time.

[20:39]

not lose this practice mind. This matters more than anything else to us. It's interesting about breath. When we breathe, if we have awareness of breath, we should make an effort to breathe deeply. In Zazen, our effort is to allow the breath to go all the way down to the lower abdomen. It feels like our breath is in the lower abdomen.

[21:42]

So that when we breathe, when we inhale, our lower abdomen rises, or expands. And when we exhale, our lower abdomen goes in. And when we're relaxed, or when we have no fear, no anxiety, then our breath it has more of a tendency to be deep. But as soon as we start having anxiety and fear and forgetfulness, then our breath easily becomes very shallow. And sometimes I'll ask people, where is your breath? Where is the bottom of your breath? What does it feel like? I can't locate my breath. I don't know where it is.

[22:44]

So it's very important to know where is the bottom of your breath? What does that feel like? When you inhale, what does it feel like? Is it satisfying? What does that feel like? So in Zazen, we allow ourself to take a deep breath. Every breath is deep. Below the navel you feel when you inhale the lower abdomen expands like a balloon and then contracts when you exhale. Sometimes It's actually all the time. Whenever you sit zazen, it's good to take a few deep breaths, exaggerated breaths to begin with, so that you can prime your breathing apparatus to breathe deeply.

[24:01]

When I give zazen instruction, I always ask people to, through the mouth, take a deep breath. And you can even hold your head back to fill your entire lower section. And then exhale like this. And then until you feel your lower abdomen meeting your vertebrae. Squeezing all the air out. And then when it's all out, do it some more. And then inhale again in the same way. And do that three or four times when you sit. Before, I mean right at the beginning of zazen to do that. And then resume a normal breath, a normal breathing.

[25:04]

And then your breathing will be primed. It's important when we sit zazen to cut off the influence of the previous moment so that in zazen you have the opportunity to have an unconditioned life. So your breathing is not conditioned by the anxieties that you came into the zendo with. but it's completely free and fresh. So our breathing is deep and without any obstacle, which allows our mind to be free and allows our posture to be free.

[26:06]

This is very important. So the same thing goes for our daily life. Sometimes when we're working, we say, there's the expression, let's take a breather. You know that expression? Let's take a breather. But usually, take a breather means let's light up a cigarette. But It's good to take a breather. Examine your breath. Let your breath flow freely. Give yourself a break. And if we're very conscious of taking that breather, we can do it all the time. Pretty soon you can do it all the time.

[27:10]

So that when you're doing something, you're also conscious of this deep breathing. And the deep breathing influences all of our activity. The deep conscious breathing influences all of our activity. When anger arises, instead of reacting, we come back to deep breathing. Just awareness of breathing, not controlling breath. but just awareness of our deep breathing, deep calm breathing. So, during our day, to really make an effort to be aware of our breathing all the time, even when we're not aware, we're aware enough to come back to it when we forget. And this deep, calm breathing will have a big influence on our life.

[28:21]

Instead of reacting with anger or anxiety or fear, we regain our balance through the breath. Very simple. It's very unmysterious. It's just connecting with our life. We live up in our head, you know, so much. And mental activity, our society is addicted to overstimulated mental activity. So we tend to be very overbalanced, top-heavy, up here. And when we put the weight, when we lower the center of gravity, then we have more stability.

[29:36]

And then thinking, mind, takes its rightful place in a hierarchy of thoughts, feelings, emotions, consciousness. So, breath, awareness of breath, lowering the center of gravity, allows all the rest to fall into place. So this is the unifying factor See, when you have nothing to think about, you can just enjoy your breath.

[30:42]

Suzuki Roshi always sometimes said that our life is like always falling out of balance. Everything is moment by moment falling out of balance. And although we seem in balance, Yet everything is really changing. The balance is shifting, always. Balance of our life. And when we find ourself in a place that we like, it's really shifting. And we try to hold on to it, but it doesn't work. We have to shift the balance. find our center of balance moment by moment. So I was talking to somebody about that today, and the person said, yeah, if you hold it, you can balance a stick on your finger, but you can't keep it there forever.

[32:31]

When we find our life getting difficult, we should look at why that's happening and find the center of gravity again. This is the Zen student's task, moment by moment, to find the center of gravity. in our breath and with our body. And it's moment by moment. Nothing lasts for more than a moment. So when somebody tells me, I don't know what my practice is anymore, or I've lost my understanding and my reason for what I'm doing, I always try to bring that person back to waking up to the reality

[34:42]

of finding your balance moment by moment. Sakhi Roshi says, Buddha is the center of gravity. Each one of us has a center of gravity. Where is that center of gravity? Each one of us is different, different person. And our center of gravity is different in each one of us.

[35:46]

But when each one of us is at our center of gravity, we're all the same. This is where our lives really meet. When we just try to meet from up here, without meeting here, never works. Can't work. When we can meet here, then we can meet here. This is too complicated. Everybody has a different idea, but we all have the same breath. Maybe you have some questions.

[36:58]

If you do, please... We noticed that our body is actually experiencing what happens to it when we've forgotten breath for some time. Do you recommend forcing breath down? Forcing? You know, we shouldn't have to force anything. When you force something, it revolts. So if you force your breath down, you may

[38:01]

You may be able to jam it down, but it'll come back up again. So allow your breath to go where it wants to go. Breath wants to go where it should go. But something is in the way. So what's in the way? That's in a way. Right. Right. So, then as I say, just go... It's not forcing, it's just opening. It's like taking a big step, you know, beyond your thinking mind. Let it in.

[39:02]

Breathing is like, well, inspiration, right? So inspire yourself. It's also coming to life. And exhaling is expiration. It's like allowing yourself to fade out, to die. So, we can allow ourself to come to life, fully. And allow ourself to die, fully. And then, when we allow ourself to die, strangely enough, we take another breath. And then we let go. So we take up life and we let go of life. Take it up moment after moment. We take up life and let go.

[40:14]

But it all goes by itself. Really. Just don't interfere. Just let it go. See, there's no reason to control our breath or to try to control anything. Just take care of things. Take care of our breath. Find our balance. Find our center. Be kind to yourself. No reason to force anything. When you find that you have to force something, look for a different way. Really, to allow our breath to freely go where it wants to go is just embracing life. So each moment is a moment of birth and death.

[41:27]

And to not stop either one. or to not try to hang on to either one. Then we have our true freedom. Moment by moment. Suzuki Roshi used to say, what is Zen? It's just living our life a little bit, moment by moment. Little by little, moment by moment. Completely. Can we have another question?

[43:04]

Somehow I feel that breathing has something to do with the precepts. I don't know if you can make the connection. Well, Catherine asked, she said, I think, I feel that breathing has something to do with precepts. I think you're right, but I would say simply that there's 10 precepts. There's 16 precepts. There are 350 precepts. There are countless precepts, but there's only one precept. One precept is be Buddha. Allow yourself to be yourself completely. In that sense, I say that breath is precepts.

[44:17]

Don't hinder Buddha. All the precepts are contained in that precept. So then, if you want to think about precepts, you can think, how can I be Buddha? How can I manifest Buddha? So if you keep that, that's a good thing to put in your mind, uncomplicated. And then your actions, or our actions, come out of that question. If the notion of Buddha doesn't become, should. Should. Yeah.

[45:21]

Yeah. You should, people. That's not so good. How can I be Buddha? How can I manifest Buddha? Our understanding of Buddha is that whatever, even the negative emotions, even the hindrances, are Buddha when we are there for it, when we accept it. Everything. So it's very important for us to accept ourself completely. the negative, the positive, the good, the bad, the right and the wrong. Very important. Angry Buddha, happy Buddha, jealous Buddha, kind Buddha.

[46:26]

All of our actions, when we have that question, ahem So sometimes it seems like we have such problems that they'll never go away. They just keep coming back, same problems, over and over. The problem that we have may not be so bad.

[47:36]

We're very fortunate if we have a good, big problem And we know what it is. That can be a quite wonderful thing. And we struggle with this problem, and it's always with us, and we're always dealing with it. It's great. It becomes like an old friend. And without it, we may have an even more difficult time. So we may not like our problem so much, but it gives us some really wonderful thing to work with. So we can be very grateful for everything that happens to us.

[48:46]

No problem. Thank you very much.

[48:59]

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