May 26th, 1990, Serial No. 00505, Side B

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Side A #ends-short

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I love what you taste. This is the third week of our practice period. It's just begun and it's almost over. We started by talking about the koan from the Mumonkan, Ordinary Mind is the Way. I'd like to read it one more time and I'm going to talk about the poem today.

[01:07]

Joshu asked Nansen, what is the way? Nansen answered, ordinary mind is the way. Should we direct ourselves toward it or not, asked Joshu. If you direct yourself toward it, you go away from it, answered Nansen. Joshu continued, we don't try. How can we know that it's the way? Nansen replied, the way does not belong to knowing or to not knowing. Knowing is illusion, not knowing is blankness. If you really attain the way of no doubt, it is like the great void, so vast and boundless. How then can there be right and wrong in the way?" At these words, Joshu was suddenly enlightened. Mumon's poem. Hundreds of flowers in spring, the moon in autumn, a cool breeze in summer, and snow in winter.

[02:10]

If there is no vain cloud in your mind, for you, it is a good season. This is another version. Spring flowers, the moon in autumn, the cool breezes of summer, the winter snow. If idle concerns do not cloud the mind, this is man's happiest season. Spring flowers, the autumn moon, summer breezes, winter snow. If useless things do not clutter your mind, you have the best days of your life. So we all come looking for something good. What are the vain clouds and useless things to keep us from having the best days.

[03:12]

The translations are interesting. Most of them use vain. Some of them use idle or useless. So vain can mean useless, like it was all in vain. Or it can also mean self-centered, like people who are vain look in the mirror a lot. And from the point of view of practice, both of those are really the same. All our self-centered thinking is really useless. So what's all that stuff that clutters our mind? in zazen and the rest of the time our mind is cluttered with the past what just happened, what happened before that and how we feel about it it was good, it was bad, we have some regrets and the future what's going to happen all our lists of the things we need to do or get or take care of

[04:41]

I spent an entire practice period at Tassajara with my mind full of menus. I was planning menus. I didn't like the menu they had, so I was planning better menus. Then there's all our feelings and opinions about the various stuff that comes up in our mind, the analysis of it. For some of us that's the big big cloud. And in zazen, and also in everyday life, there's our feelings and opinions and worries about the physical sensations that are going on in our body, and about our state of mind. We don't just have some state of mind or some pain or some physical sensation, we have all our various ideas and interpretations of it, that, oh, this is a good sign, or it's a bad sign, or I'm on my way, or I'm on my way down, whatever.

[05:50]

And those are reflected, those are our, all our mental activities are reflected in our posture. If we're full of lists and things to do and in a hurry. We tend to always be moving forward like this. And we may even look like that in Zazen. You can always see somebody thinking. Mel's always talking about your head's like this, it's always pushing you back. But even with your head pushed back, if you're a good Zen student, you can still be worrying about things and thinking about the future. So, you know, it's what's inside, maybe, that counts. But the common denominator of all this stuff is me, I. I feel this, I want this, don't want this, I need this.

[06:54]

And we identify with that stuff. It's what we call ourself. The content of our consciousness. And Zazen, focuses us on all these mental processes which change like the seasons. Suzuki Roshi says what we call I is just a swinging door which moves when we inhale and when we exhale. Usually we're concerned about the surface of that door. We have our eye on the surface of the door. But that's not what's really important. The surface of the door, in some sense, is always the same.

[07:59]

It may be in good shape, or it may be in bad shape. We may think, oh, this door needs refinishing. or, gee, it looks very shiny today, don't you scratch my door? But it's the activity of the door that gives the door life. So it's the process what keeps it swinging. So doors are on hinges, and the hinge attaches the door to something solid that doesn't move. And then there's some energy that makes it move. Something pushes it. And the energy is transformed by the action, by the hinge. If the hinge is rusty or dirty, then the door can't swing freely, or it squeaks and creaks and complains a lot.

[09:08]

Breathing in, Suzuki Roshi says, the air from the outside enters our body, and breathing out, inside, air from the inside, stale air, is released to the outside. Where's the boundary, he asks, between what's you and what's not you? What pushes the door? Is the absolute nirvana on one side of the door and samsara or the world of suffering on the other side of the door? If so, where do they meet? Where in the door do they meet? Keep your eye on the hinge. We talk in Buddhism about the three bodies of the Buddha. the Dharmakaya, the Sambhogakaya, and the Nirmanakaya.

[10:20]

The Dharmakaya is the absolute, the source. The Nirmanakaya, you know, in the meal chant, we chant all the names of the Buddhas. We chant the Dharmakaya Buddha and the Nirmanakaya Shakyamuni Buddha, that's the historical Buddha. And that's also all of us, the physical manifestation of the Absolute. Sambhogakaya is sometimes called the bliss body or the transformation body. You can't see it. Sambhogakaya. The transformation, the relative and the Absolute. One thing, three is one. This is the activity of our breath. It's our actual life process.

[11:28]

We can't see it, but we can experience it. It's moment to moment transformation. If our eyes are on the hinge, not on the surface of the door, If we're always busy refinishing the door, keeping it from getting scratched, we can't see the process, and the movement of the door is impeded. The vain, useless thoughts of self are like dust in the hinge from our constant fiddling with the finish. Suzuki Roshi said, if you want to discover the true meaning of Zen in your everyday life, you have to understand the meaning of keeping your mind on your breathing and your body in the right posture.

[12:29]

And he, of course, emphasized right posture as Dogen did and as all the teachers in the Soto lineage do, very specifically put your left leg on your right thigh, right leg on your left thigh, put your hands like this, put your shoulders like this. And this very posture, they say, is enlightenment itself. What can the meaning of this possibly be? In the middle of his very specific instructions for Zazen, after he's told you exactly what to do with your feet and how much to open the window. Dogen says, it has nothing to do with sitting or lying down. Suzuki Roshi says, if you want to understand zazen in your everyday life, you have to understand the true meaning of holding this posture.

[13:45]

What can this possibly mean? Does it have to do with crossing your legs? How can it have to do with crossing your legs? It has nothing to do with sitting or lying down. It has nothing to do with whether the door is open or shut, whether it's shiny or shabby. Keep your eye on the hinge. Zen master Mazu says, the way does not require cultivation. Just don't pollute it. What is pollution? As long as you have a fluctuating mind, fabricating artificialities and contrivances, all of this is pollution.

[14:50]

If you want to understand the way directly, the normal mind is the way. What I mean by the normal mind is the mind without artificiality, without subjective judgments, without grasping or rejection. Normal mind. Champa used to talk about basic sanity, We sit to regain our basic sanity in this crazy world. The normal mind, don't pollute it. The way does not belong to knowing or not knowing. Dovin reminds us to stop the activities of the conscious mind. Not to think about becoming a Buddha.

[15:52]

Not to think about anything. To think not thinking or non-thinking. The way does not belong to knowing or not knowing. Knowing is illusion. Not knowing is blankness. Knowing is illusion. I learn that every time I give a talk. In order to give a talk, you have to pretend that you know something. You have to have a sentence that goes from one end to the other. come up with some idea. So as soon as you get to the end of that idea, if you really think about it, you see what's wrong with it.

[16:57]

And then you end up with not knowing. And when it's your turn to give the talk, the mind of not knowing is not very useful. You want to say something. You want to help people. And, of course, one never likes to look like a fool. But knowing is illusion. I'm always amazed for all the talk in Zen about words not being it, ideas not being it, and that you can't talk about it, whatever it is, We sure do talk about it a lot. And we sure do put a lot of emphasis on being able to talk about it in some way. And it's very hard to know what to say.

[18:03]

There's something There's some great pull to want to help each other. We all sit together to help each other, and we want all of us to realize the way. And yet, each of us is completely, completely alone with it. No one can really help you. This question of how to realize the way was really Joshu's main life question, and there are a whole bunch of koans in which he explores this question more deeply.

[19:10]

This particular one, what is the way, and should we direct ourselves toward it or not, comes apparently from his early life. And from his later life comes a koan, the true way is not difficult, it only pours grasping and attachment. And that was not his originally. It comes from an earlier poem by the Third Patriarch. The ultimate path is without difficulty. Just avoid picking and choosing. Just don't love or hate, and you'll be lucid and clear. So Joshu gives this to one of his students.

[20:17]

later on. And the student can't say anything. He just says the poem, or part of the poem. Maybe it's the student who says it to him. He says, with a single word, choice and attachment may arise, or clarity may arise. Usually with words, it's choice and attachment, because our words, our language is very dualistic. Some people say English is more dualistic than the Oriental languages, but language itself has to do with discrimination. It's very hard to say something that's not dualistic. So the monk and Joshu got entangled about it, and the monk couldn't say anything. And finally, Joshu dismissed him and said, you asked the question, that's enough.

[21:25]

Bow and go home. And this is always Joshu's point. Ask the question. Pay attention to the questioning. Pay attention to the process. That's what he learned. Answers aren't so important. In another koan in the series, somebody answers his koan brilliantly. The next day he comes back. The teacher asks him the question again and gives the same answer again. The teacher won't accept it. Hits him. But it was a good answer yesterday. Yeah, yesterday it was a good answer. Today it's not a good answer anymore. continuous practice every day. When your mind is free of attachment and clinging and desire, these are the best days of your life.

[22:44]

These are the days when you can use the 24 hours, as Joshi would say, rather than being used by them. When your mind is full of stuff, what you want, what you need, what I have to do, how can they expect this of me? Then we're being used by the 24 hours, led around, exhausted, it's too much, can't do it, The way is not difficult. If you don't see it, you don't see it, though you're actually walking on it, Sangha Kai says.

[23:50]

The way is not difficult. It's right in front of us. Don't be fooled by all the pointing fingers. Please see the moon for yourself. Is there anything you'd like to talk about? I sometimes have the experience of being inside looking out. So my question is, what is the door hinged to? What is it that doesn't move? It doesn't change.

[25:01]

Everything changes. So throughout that constant change, what is it that doesn't move? That's what the doors hinge on. In spring, there are flowers, but then the flowers die. And in summer, there are cool breezes. But there's also sometimes unpleasant heat.

[26:05]

in the autumn, the leaves are beautiful and the moon is beautiful, but it doesn't last. And it's because the flowers die that we can see their beauty. And right there, Shivana Roshi talks about this really well. I'm really glad you asked the question because I meant to read this part. He says, The ordinary mind is in the vortex of good and evil, beautiful and ugly, happy and sad, joy and pain, right there in the middle, right there at the turning. And I think that's what I see as the hand. right there in the middle. It's not that those things, it's not that you cut off one side and you only see the beautiful flowers and you stop caring that they die.

[27:19]

It's not that you only see the good side of life and you just plain don't see the pain or you never hurt again. It's right there where they both meet And I think that's what's really hard for most of us. We just get stuck so easily in what we want, or if we have some good experience wanting to hang on to that, some success, or if we have some failure getting just really stuck in that, and to see to the posture of containing both sides, of tolerating both sides, that there's pleasure and pain, and we have all these various confusing, contradictory experiences and feelings.

[28:36]

That's what's expressed in this posture. That's why we hold our hands like this. One side holds up the other, one whole piece. It's not really about being cut off from something. But it's funny, none of these Enlightenment poems talk about, well, some of them do maybe, but most of them talk about the pretty stuff. They don't talk about the pile of dead leaves in autumn The dark of the moon, summer's intense heat and sweat. It's implied there. I've noticed that all of these enlightenment stories take place after Satsang, not during.

[29:43]

Do you know of a story where a monk was enlightened in the Zazen posture? Well, there are some stories about masters dying in Zazen posture and saying some brilliant word at the end. The parting line is that it takes all this training and all this hard sitting. to know enlightenment, and it has to do with all the sitting. Although there are stories, even in the traditional literature, which I don't know so well, but there's certainly the story of the Sixth Patriarch, who got enlightened before he ever heard of Zazen. And as you listen to people on Monday morning talk about how they came to practice, Many people came to practice because they had some experience they needed to make some kind of sense of.

[30:50]

So I think the important part about practice has to do with how that experience actually lights up our life and what it does to our life. And in all the taishos on this poem, koan about ordinary mind, they talk about how this was one of Joshu's early enlightenments, maybe not his first one, but that it took thirty years for him really to get it. And, you know, I can hear that as, you know, this enlightenment is just so beyond us that, you know, we'll never get it. At some level we get it, but to get it at the level where it really lights up the dark corners of our daily life and we act in accord with the way more and more of the time, that seems to be what this constant sitting is helpful for.

[32:08]

Even if there were lots of monks who got enlightened during zazen, that just doesn't make it such a good story. So they don't tell about those ones in the literature. It makes a better story to say that they had to do all this sitting. Well, then you get to tell about the dialogue and what happened when they were enlightened. If they were just enlightened while they were sitting on the pillow, it's kind of short. Well, I think the other interesting thing is that all these stories are dialogues. And I think that the enlightenment or the experience that we have doesn't matter what it is. It's not relevant unless it's interactional. And I really think that the dialogue process is what makes this understanding come alive. And that's why we sit together and why it's so much more vital to sit together and why all this talk about practice in everyday life is, it's not just about walking with stillness or sweeping mindfully.

[33:28]

It comes to life in interaction with other people. There's the line from the Lotus Sutra that Dogen likes so much about, only a Buddha together with a Buddha can understand it. That's it. I don't think it's an accident. I find this term plain. at times seeming hypocritical. I think we cling to Zazen in a way. What do you mean by clinging to Zazen? I think that there is a real emphasis to be very committed to it and in a very faithful way be very committed to that. To Zazen in terms of coming to the Zendo and... And I think that

[34:31]

the term clean can have such a negative connotation that it can make us have the impression that to be committed, to be very responsible, to be very faithful to each other or to ourselves can at times be negative where I think maybe not so. So where does clean to Zazen come in? I compare what I see here to a principle, I think perhaps a good example would be, I think Sister Teresa said to one of her nuns, cling to God as if you were a wife clinging to your husband. I think that in Zazen we do the same thing. I think the term clinging gets used almost as a sounding board, and at times too harshly.

[35:37]

So you think it's pulling us away from ordinary kinds of commitments that the clinging can cause? And can also create in us a very hard heart. Can also decrease our ability to be compassionate. I think you're right. I think that we often do cling to zazen, to formal zazen, and to formal practice. We get to believe that our commitment is to the schedule, the institution to this form, and that's mistaking the pointing finger for the moon.

[36:40]

And I think it's responsible for a lot of the problems that we've had with Buddhist institutions and with the development of the Sangha in our life. There's something important about commitment, but the question is, what is your commitment? What is your actual commitment? I've been really moved and impressed in these last couple of weeks that I've had a chance to be here and talk to people and meet people that I don't usually get to see.

[38:02]

the intense commitment and deep questioning and real sincerity of so many people. And it's just, it's really inspiring to me to see so many people living ordinary lives and really asking these questions and trying to understand their life. So if I can help, please make good use of me. I think that how we help each other is by encouraging each other's questions.

[39:14]

There may not be any answers, but that's okay. Thank you very much. Oh, did you have another question? Well, we talk sometimes about enlightenment, and it seems to me that there's a whole set of expectations around that, and I was wondering if you think that enlightenment can be a burden? Well, it's not a burden to me. I don't know so much about it. Is it a burden to you? I don't know. Do you have some expectation about it in terms of yourself? Well, I'd rather not say. Suzuki Roshi used to say, don't get too excited about enlightenment.

[40:26]

You might not like it. Don't wait for enlightenment. You may be disappointed. Peace.

[40:50]

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