May 1st, 1999, Serial No. 00074, Side A

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What are you doing in there? What are you doing in there? What are we doing in here? Kala Rinpoche said, we live in a world of illusion and the appearance of things. There is a reality We are that reality. And when we realize this, we will realize that we are everything. And in everything, we are nothing. That is all. I want to talk to you here today about diversification with regards to the hindrances.

[01:13]

And the best way to talk about diversification is to share my story, or some of my story, about 25 minutes of my story. But first, let me just mention the hindrances. One of the many sutras that the Buddha talked about. First is desire. Then there's aversion. Then there's sloth, restlessness, and doubt. Given the benefit of the doubt, if you don't have one of these, then you're not here.

[02:28]

You're not human. It's like, it's one of the many keys to be on this plane. is having these five hindrances. Born in Pawleys Island, South Carolina, one of the sea islands along the coast there. Gullah is my native language. English was hard to come by. It was an interesting culture that I was raised in. My family system ran a temple, a Methodist church, to the present day, over 100 years, going back in time. Presently, my aunt, she's the bookkeeper. If you ever seen the movie The Blues Brothers, the classical one, that's the kind of environment the church scene was then when I was coming up.

[03:43]

It's pretty incredible. If you haven't, I encourage you to do so. Sort of isolated childhood, community setting, just like in this neighborhood here, this is sort of a community conversation center. And I noticed there were other temples in the neighborhood, pretty much similar to the community that I was, that I came up in. But there's the other side of that coin. Because of the isolation, it was isolation mainly because of the color of your skin. Even the beach was separated. The bathrooms at the gas station, I think that was pretty expensive, two sets of bathrooms.

[04:47]

Actually, we need that today, not the separation. After I joined church, and that was going from boyhood to manhood, that's a very special time. A very, just like your rites of passage, which I think every human being should go through some type of rites of passages. It was a powerful scene. The men deacon was called Babas, B-A-B-A. The women was called sisters. Left home, my mom remarried because my dad died, and married a person in the Air Force. And so we begun to travel. It was involuntarily on my end as far as leaving home.

[05:51]

It was very, very painful. Ended up in Alabama for a year. James Meredith, George Wallace was the governor and Martin Luther King was just beginning. Peace march and so forth. It was interesting to live in a city, homes close by, friends that I met in the neighborhood. For example, I said, Ralph, let's go and climb some things. And I said, great. And I was used to climbing trees and jumping from one tree to another tree, you know, in the swamps. And he took me to a park. And it was all these metal equipment. So it was my introduction to jungle gym. left there and went to Montgomery, Alabama. I'm sorry, left Montgomery, Alabama and went to Bakersfield, California.

[07:00]

It was my first time in a school that was, I would say, 99.8% European American. One percent me and one percent a person. First, my introduction was a Hispanic person. I didn't know that culture. I was awestruck seeing that. I was really dealing with a lot of restlessness and aversion in my mind. You know, aversion brings on anger and feeling guilty. And restlessness is just a combination of the guilt and the aversion, the guilt and the anger inside of myself, just what's going on here in other words. Went from there and went to, left there after a year.

[08:08]

It was an intense year because of being marked in the classrooms, not by the students, but by the teachers being made fun of because of my language. I did have a group of friends that sort of embraced me, a group of people. That was very interesting. but still, even though they embraced me, but because of the restlessness inside of myself and the doubt, not trusting, not understanding, it was just difficult for me to just open up. After a year, I went to Japan and Three and a half years of that, of being in Japan, was high school for myself.

[09:12]

And I was in high school sports, you know, jog, football, basketball, mainly where I acted out my anger, my aggression, dealing with, really dealing with that aversion, not wanting to look inside. but also being so young, not knowing how to look inside, and not being at home on the island, not having my elders to give me some advice on how to begin to look inside. So doubt and aversion was intense. It was very intense. I was very good in football. I would knock him over. All that anger. And basketball was a turning point. It was two major turning point that happened for me in Japan. Someone got in a fight at a Christmas basketball tournament where all the schools, American schools converged and I was blamed.

[10:28]

And because the person got burned by a cigarette. And the coach, I told the coach I don't even smoke cigarettes, which I didn't at that time in high school. And he didn't believe me. It was really a shock of someone that I trusted that didn't believe me. And so I quit sports. It shocked the school. I probably would have been done retired from some type of professional sports by now because I was pretty good. Anyway, I ended up in the base gym with the GIs in the Air Force and I was in this room. I heard some noise going on upstairs in the gym. The basketball court was down below and Up beyond the bleachers, there were rooms.

[11:31]

And one of the rooms was just yelling. So I was attracted to that sound. I ended up standing in the doorway. And once these guys throwing punches and yelling, this Japanese guy in the front of the room, I was watching them. It was a little basketball game was going on down on the floor, scrimmage. And I turned my head to look at the game. And when I turned back around, this Japanese guy, his body was just complete, making his completion of his feet coming down and standing in front of me. I almost wet my pants, because I've never seen anything like that. He came over all these bodies. And these other guys were still throwing the punch. And he said something in Japanese. Of course, I didn't understand him. He had a translator, and the translator said, what are you doing here? And that's why I'm asking you, what are you doing here?

[12:38]

What are you doing in there? What are we doing in here? It's important. Are you paying attention? I ended up getting in his class. I had to take three months of judo. It was a prerequisite to get in his class. And I finally got in his class. And the sparring was on the basketball floor. And we got in a circle sitting down and he pulled me in a circle. And he started slapping me around. And I ended up knowing why I took Judo, because all the times I ended up in the air, I had to learn how to fall, so I wouldn't break my legs and arms. And he would hold my head as I come down, but then he would jump back and say, get up, get up.

[13:41]

And he kept doing that and doing that until I got so angry that I just charged after him. Of course, the same thing happened again. And after a while, I just broke down. And at that moment when I did that, he bowed. And there was the teacher, and there was the student. The second turning point Of course, in that martial arts setting, that was an introduction to Buddhism, an introduction to Zen. I mean, he would levitate, and he would jump up and kick the basketball rim, which is at least as high as his beam. Just stand there, go straight up, kick it with a side kick, come right back down like a butterfly, but he comes down real slow. I see it, but I still didn't believe it. That kinds of things.

[14:43]

The second turning point was the 1964 Olympics in Japan. No metal detectors. Not even any sensation of thought about terrorism. The reason why it was a turning point for me, because it was people from all race, all culture from around the planet. It really was a family gathering. I'd never seen anything since then. So sweet. I fell in love with this French girl. She and her parents took me out to dinner. I couldn't speak French. But the diversification there, it was, it's like going, it's like no self, it's beyond words.

[15:51]

It's just being. It's the wisdom mind, it's walking in wisdom, it's dancing in wisdom. It's just all being expressed from so many different dimensions. It's taking the hindrances, all of them, and you begin, because of the wisdom that arises, you just finally maintain this balance, this harmony within the hindrances. You know they're there, the Tao, the version. But you go, you open up towards it, excuse me, with just kindness. And that was so special.

[16:55]

And it wasn't until after Vietnam, when I got into undergraduate school in Santa Cruz, and graduate school at Santa Clara, I still lived in Santa Cruz, where I began to get into the practice real seriously. Covincino Zen Center, I would sit there. Stephen Levine was teaching meditation there at the time. A person came through one time and gave a talk at Stephen Levine's sitting group. Gradual Awakening, a book, came out of that sitting group. That talk, after the talk, I asked, as I was walking out the room, who was the person, what was the person's name who gave the talk? The whole room just stopped as if, don't you know who that is? Everyone looked at me, and then they said, that's Ram Dass.

[18:03]

I said, oh, OK. I ended up taking some of his retreats and working with him. But it was a wonderful time there in Santa Cruz with regards to my own practice, getting into the Vipassana tradition. and sitting. However, I was always the only person of color. Going to retreats in Yucca Valley, a hundred people, I'm the only person of color there. The 70s, that what kept me coming back was the practice, the sweetness in the practice, that sweetness.

[19:04]

Time went on. I began to, in New Mexico, I began to teach with Jack at Lama Foundation. The reason why, I took a retreat in Yucca Valley And a Metta retreat was a month retreat on loving kindness. It was about maybe five years since I've taken a retreat. It was about 200, 250 people there. I looked around the room and it was one other person of color besides myself. He was Vietnamese. And I shared it with Joseph. I said, Joseph, something is wrong here. Something is very, very, very wrong. And we got to do something about it.

[20:09]

The Vietnamese felt the same way. And so I felt that I needed to teach for me to stay in the practice. I needed more motivation. Because in reality, I alone cannot diversify the sangha, the community. It takes a community to make a community. It takes you, it takes us to make a community. So I told Jack, I said, Jack, I want to learn to teach. teach this. And that was 11 years ago. And here I am now. I think it was about six years ago we put together what was called

[21:16]

Buddhists of Color. I don't even remember the name of it. Sitting Group. We did a one-day retreat for people of color at Spirit Rock. And about 60 people showed up. And it was no predominant culture or race that was there. It was pretty even. Of course, Jack and I, we lost it. He was pretty much crying all day long, sitting up there. supposed to be teachers and all they were doing is asking questions, just the kind of questions you would ask about pain, about suffering, but it was how they asked it. It was the flavor, the tone, the words they used. The reason why we were crying is because we knew something was missing. It's not complete yet. is really something that's really missing with regards to really helping us to heal.

[22:25]

This is why we were such big radicals back in the 60s. And here now in the 90s, we're talking about diversification. Because the work was never completed this way. We thought that if we could do physical things out in the community, different kinds of program, that it would take care of itself, but it didn't, obviously. It has to happen this way. So we're on our last leg here, people, you know, pretty much all of us. There's only one thing that's guaranteed in this room that I can say for all of us, and that is, we're gonna die. And we're in the community, and we all know it's sweet. It's very sweet.

[23:35]

And it's up to us to make it complete. Diversified not only in culture, but also in all other levels. The gays, the lesbians, all other levels. At least there's more men attending. The first half of the 70 was pretty much women at most of these retreats, the Vipassana retreats. 100, 150. You would, the men, we would think it was a good way to pick up women, but. Because they would see, yeah, we'll give him another two, three more years sitting in practice. So I found

[24:40]

And working with the hindrances, desire, aversion, the grief and the guilt, all of that came from Vietnam, from my heroin addiction 30 years ago, smoking five packs of cigarettes. That's when it was two bucks a carton back then. You'd have to take out a loan to do it now. It's a process of mindfulness. A process of mindfulness. And mindfulness brings in understanding. With understanding and that perception there, there's that mindfulness. And with that understanding comes wisdom. Because of the understanding, there's investigation. But the other part of mindfulness, the other side of that coin of wisdom, is kindness.

[25:50]

Kindness. You can call it compassion, you can call it loving kindness, but the two go together, wisdom and kindness. We all know if it's just kindness, and we've been that route, you just walk the path of kindness, you're gonna get stepped on. Is there anybody in this room that hasn't been stepped on? At least a hundred times. And then we've walked the path of just wisdom, just that path. Usually nobody wants to be around you except for the other one who think they're very, you know. With wisdom and kindness, that's really the delightful

[27:02]

And the healing way of dancing with the five hindrances, with doubt, without restlessness, without, with sloth, laziness, or lackadaisicalness, with aversion, and with desire. Wisdom and kindness brings one into the body the body in the body, where one began to walk and live a life in a non-dual relationship, just being, not trying to be something, just being. I want to begin to bring this to a closure, but at the beginning of this year, I wrote a letter to about 25 or 30 of the senior teachers in the country, across the lineages, the Western teachers, with regards to what I've shared with you.

[28:23]

And I want to leave, I brought this letter here and I want to leave it here with the center because I just talked to Alan and he didn't get a copy because I didn't mail him a copy. And I want to read this, make sure it's on tape and if you all want a copy, you can have a copy so it may give you some insight in helping you to Get our community the right way. Because California is the first diversified culture in the nation. And it's moving. Dear Berkeley Zen Center, Receiving several flyers annoying of teachers who have undertaken the task of passing on the Dharma in teacher training, motivated me to write this letter.

[29:26]

This letter went out to about 25 senior teachers in Zen, Theravada, and Tibetan tradition in January of 99. I would like to begin by mentioning the first Western Buddhist Teachers Conference at Spirit Rock and Green Gulch Centers. I refer to that experience as the modern-day Big Bang One realization from that bang that struck me is that we are the first generation of emotionally wounded Western teachers. That's quite a different situation compared to the first Teachers Conference after the Buddha. At the second Western Teachers Conference at Mount Madonna, which was four years later, The second teacher's conference after the Buddha was a thousand years later, just for your own information.

[30:31]

The message was that a special quality of compassion and wisdom is expected of the contemporary Dharma teachers. What an awesome fact that we are the first generation of Western Buddhist teachers. Our coming together shows that we have taken on a responsibility. This responsibility is great indeed. We, the first generation of Western Dharma teachers, will affect the turning of the wheel of Dharma for centuries to come. Presently, our Western culture is becoming more diverse by the moment. California is already more than five years old as a state without a dominant culture. And racism is increasing in California. It is a fact that cultural diversity will continue to grow at a rapid rate. We already know that according to statistics by 2040 or 45, the United States will not have a dominant culture anymore.

[31:37]

By then, many of the first generation teachers will be gone. I might still be here. What can we do to cultivate a diverse sangha? Is that of interest of you? Presently, the teachers and practitioners of the Dharma in the U.S. are 95% European Americans. If we don't initiate change, the Western Buddhist Sangha will cultivate racism unintentionally. We all know that Buddhist culture in America did not develop based on the wisdom of diversification. The past can't be changed. However, if we do not begin to work on change now, we will promote cultural separation. Even in the American Christian community, we find more separation than diversification.

[32:45]

Their initial perspective did not include cultural diversification. And until recently, no one would dare give this any attention, as I am doing now. After completing my double undergraduate in psychology and religion studies, I was still searching for the meaning of existence. Sitting in a meditation group while in graduate school, I found a doorway that opened into compassion and wisdom through theory, the sutra, the Abhidharma, and methodology, the practice. After many years of practicing, I began to lose interest, struggling with my perspective, struggling with my perception of being a practitioner and member of a community. I began my studies as a Dharma teacher in part to address my personal problem of being a stranger in a strange Sangha.

[33:50]

So Ketch, Nauman Fisher, and Jack Kornfield are the only two elders who are actively working for greater diversification. Several elders have expressed their concern about the lack of diversification, but no right action, speech, or effort has yet resulted. Jack Kornfield and Zoketsu Norman Fisher assisted in founding and supporting what was known as the Interracial Buddhist Council in San Francisco Bay Area. I observed a profound lack of support from the Buddhist community at large and most other elders. I am not saying that this council needs to be repeated, but it stands as an excellent example that helps us understand that it will take the majority support to bring this important issue to the forefront of our discussion.

[34:54]

I feel that in a song where the elders refuse to seriously address this issue, they are unintentionally supporting the suffering of racism. Racism is just another word for rejection. The emotional pain generated by racist behavior on a large scale is generationally deep on our planet. Presently, several training programs are taking place. Training European-American teachers exclusively will have an effect on how the Dharma develops in the West. This document is sent to alert elders of all lineage May it generate right intention and skillful action as our elders take on the responsibility of turning the wheel. There's a poem by Gilardine Rumi.

[36:05]

There's nothing ahead. There's nothing ahead. Wondering this world, wondering that. Lovers think they are looking for each other, both in one transparent sky. The miracle of Jesus is himself, not what he said or did about the future. Forget the future. I'd worship someone who could do that, If you can say that there's nothing ahead, there will be nothing there. Stretch out your arms, take hold of your cloth, your body. The solution to the pain is in the pain. Good and bad are mixed. If you don't have both,

[37:09]

You don't belong with us. When one of us gets lost, is not here, not in front of us or behind us, he or she must be inside of us. There's no place like that anywhere in the world. questions. This is a time where you may have some questions and I might, I'll pretend I have the answers. We have a few minutes, just a few, but do you have any?

[38:12]

Please, yes. You mentioned Covachino, studying with Covachino, Simone. I wondered what the positive, the positive approach seems to have been most helpful to me. And I wondered if that had something to do, well, I'm interested in the whyhood of people of color, in particular, Why would they want to come to the Berkeley Dental Center? I mean, it's a different culture also, I mean, for all of us.

[39:20]

But there is a lot of formality. And there is a tradition of not going out so much as being here. I've done extensive training and in various cultures. Religious studies was one of my major, so it was always intriguing from a child listening to my cousin talk about the Ku Klux Klan and go to church on Sunday morning and I would see, excuse me, this white person and under it it said, suffer little children, come under me.

[40:31]

And I was just confused. So I really wanted to find the truth, which I have. And it doesn't matter what path one chooses. I gave to Karmapa my rosary, and he I've done extensive training in the various different, I don't want to get into that too much. But the practice, another word for meditation is purification. And so, when one would say, why would people of color, you need to understand the mind is being too general. our ordinary mind cannot comprehend the fact that one thing is five minimum five billion people on the planet and so when you when any time the mind starts to generalize why would a million people want to do that when

[41:48]

You have no idea. Just think about that. Remember hatred, greed, and delusion, and that's definitely delusional thinking. I've met quite a few of old practitioners of color, quite a few, quite a few in their 50s and 60s that was practicing long before me in this culture. And because of not feeling comfortable, they became closet practitioners. And so be careful when you say things like that because it doesn't make sense. This is a community. Yes, please. Alright.

[42:51]

Yes. Alright. How many people in this room have friends of color? More than half the room. And you ask the question, what can we do? You know? You have friends. It's up to you. If you say we're not supposed to, that's your choice. Understanding what you're doing. You know, understanding that when we're taking the precepts, there's the Buddha, the Dharma, and the Sangha. That is for real. We're talking about our ancestors. We're not talking about a few hundred people that went ahead of us. We're talking about a few million, or several million, that has went ahead of us in this practice.

[44:00]

So this is for real, the Buddha, the Dharma, and the Sangha. Please. Who want to go first? Yes. I find that occasionally here at the Berkman Center, and I'm assuming here, that we can engage a light-skinned black person because we can kind of melt in, but the dark brown-skinned every time and I think that there's a fear in the general culture of dark-skinnedness.

[44:47]

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