It's one syllable? Kvetch. It's kvetch. That's great. Do that practice. So in some ways it's hard to separate from right effort, because mindfulness is just right there with this not complaining. Mindfulness is just being present with it. But it's also, somehow, in some sense, the possibility of the mind to remember and to have developed some continuity in the practice of right effort.

[01:19]

So right effort is happening just in this moment, and mindfulness just happens in this moment, and yet mindfulness is saying that we have the possibility of developing continuity in this. But there's somehow the ability to remember that we would like to practice right effort. There's possibility to remember again and again to not complain. And I don't want to like, you know, strongly separate the two.

[02:30]

But in a sense, I kind of feel like the right effort is this way of being with things, this non-reactive, non-judgmental, non-grasping, non-seeking way of being with things. And lots of things are still happening, but the things don't really reach the practice. Lots of words are still arising and falling. There's this quiet clear awareness in the middle of them all that's not reacting, that's not attaching.

[03:34]

And mindfulness is when the phenomena kind of like unveils itself to you. But effort is like the way to be with what's happening such that it will tell you its secret. And the secret becomes available to you. The secret being the truth.

[04:49]

or at least the next unfathomable truth. And then you say thank you for the next revelation. And you just say thank you. You don't say thank you and give me another one. You say thank you. And you say thank you by continuing to practice right effort. And then the mindful presence with what you're not complaining about, brings you another revelation, deeper and deeper revelations. More and more information about what's going on. More and more intimacy with what's going on. you penetrate more and more deeply into what's happening, more intimate.

[06:01]

That effort makes it possible for you to become intimate with what's happening because you're not stirring things up and fighting with what's happening. You're not trying to get something or avoid something. You're steady And you start to, you know, not disturb what's happening. And then mindfulness brings you into more and more intimate and accurate relationship with things. And you start to see what the relationship is. and you're able to remember to keep working on intimacy with what you're not tampering with anymore.

[07:05]

So the right upper is not tampering, the mindfulness is moving more and more deeply into what you're not tampering with. Okay? And then, concentration. And there's different kinds of concentration. One kind of concentration, which you sometimes hear about in Buddhist texts and from Buddhist teachers, concentration where you choose something to focus on and you exclude other things. Like you can choose your breath or a color or any of these various possibilities. There's 40 traditional topics. You choose one, and then you focus on that and exclude other things. That's a certain kind of concentration, which I'm not teaching you, although if someone wanted to practice, I'm willing to assist you.

[08:21]

Another kind of concentration is where you attend to what's happening. moment by moment. And you have continuity in attending to what's happening. Your mind is one-pointed on what's happening and you experience that. And actually the mind is always one-pointed but you develop again an intimacy with that one-pointedness and you experience the continuity in one-pointedness. And the mind becomes more and more concentrated, which means also that the mind becomes more and more open. The funny thing is, is that when we're frightened and protective and closing off to many things, we're dispersed.

[09:28]

when we're out, you know, worrying about everything and trying to control everything, we're dispersed. So being dispersed and closed, concentrated and open. So this concentration practice... into your body and mind. So the intimacy you have that's being developed among all things then becomes like, what is it, it's like you marinate yourself in it. You steep yourself in this intimacy. and then wisdom dawns which is right view you're back at right view again but now right view is the right view that goes with having been meditating on your relationships having been meditating on

[10:59]

and how the self does things and the consequences of that having meditated on right intention having practiced watching right speech right action right livelihood and then through that training having entered right mindfulness and right concentration now you look again at what you looked at have been looking at all along But now, there's no attachment, there's no seeking, there's intimacy with what's happening, and you're totally steeped in this intimacy. And now you see what you've been looking at all along in a radically new way. Now you see that everything you see is yourself. You've heard about it. before, and now you see it. Now you see the other is not other.

[12:03]

Now you see that your karma is not your karma. Now you understand the four noble truths. Now you understand suffering arises, the cause of it, and the end of it. So we finished, correct? Thank you. And so I have kind of some general cosmic remarks, but maybe you have some questions before I do my summation. Yes, go ahead. Yes. You sit down and your thoughts are racing, yes.

[13:08]

Yes. Yes. Well, if they're racing, then you can't stop and gate at one. You have to, you know, one race is by. So the thoughts, the mind is constantly changing. So one method of meditation is to choose something to focus on, and the mind is changing all the time, but you stay with that one kind of topic. Even though the mind is changing, it's as though Since you stay in the same object, you by excluding all the other changes that are going on. The other way, which I find myself seems to be more appropriate to the people who live here in America, is to try to stay with the changing mind.

[14:16]

So I often use the example of calm the ocean. or to sit by the ocean and look at a pile of sand in front of you until perhaps the surf comes in and takes it away. But maybe for a while you can look at a pile of sand and focus on it. I would say go out in the ocean and learn to surf. So learn to surf the ever-changing mind. to try to find a way to stand up in the constantly changing situation of wave and wind and body and gravity. Everything is constantly changing, but you find a way to be balanced no matter what's going on. You find a center, a calm center in the middle of the nauseation of human life.

[15:19]

You find the center in the middle of your anxiety. You find a way to balance in the constant change. That's the kind of meditation, that's the kind of concentration that I feel is most appropriate to most people I meet. Another kind where you, you know, go away from the city, you sit down, you pick an object and you stay in that one and you exclude everything else. It's both obsessions or compulsions, but one is an obsession which is adjusting to change more and recognizing the change. The other one is an obsession to, in some sense, ignore change and pretend like it doesn't change. that's called sometimes also trance practice.

[16:27]

And it's something that the Buddha did, Buddha practiced, but it is possible not to take enough concentration besides that one. That's the one I'm telling you about today. The other one is... is something, like I say, if you're interested, I can show you where you can start reading about it. You can look into it and see if you want to do it. It's called Transfactus. I'd like to hear this mind that has no authority in the context of a relationship. Sometimes we could be involved in a relationship that at the present moment we're not happy, but we think that there could be a change. So we see the possibility that in the future the relationship can change.

[17:34]

Thinking of the mind, developing the mind, you know, at the present moment, the relationship is not working. You know, we think of kind of not the relationship or ending the relationship. I've also been asking myself, what is a good reason to end the relationship? Okay, so that was, how many? Maybe three. Three, okay. What's number one? What's the first question? About the concept of developing a mind that has no alternative in the context of a relationship that at the present moment is not working well. Okay. So you have a relationship and you have this thought, this is not working well. Okay? So the thought, this is not working well, is a little bit more actually concrete than a relationship. But we do have this very clear thing, this thought is not working well.

[18:41]

So how do we develop no alternative when we have a thought, this is not working well? Pardon? Let it go is good, yeah, that's good, just let it go. But just before you let it go, there it is. This is the thought. My mind has this thought right now. This relationship is not working. And another one would be, possible relationship in the world. Another one is, how could I have possibly gotten to this relationship? Another one is, of all the relationships in the world to have, I've got this one. Another one is, boy, I managed to pick the worst possible relationship. How did I do that? Thoughts that can occur. To look at that mind and say, that's what I'm thinking.

[19:45]

That's it. And then if you feel that way, actually you do let it go. Now, that's over. Now what if the thought comes back again? Something similar. Yeah, but that really is an unworkable relationship. So how do you practice an alternative with that? That's what you're dealing with. That thought. Again. And again. And again. Those kinds of thoughts come up. You just let each one be what it is. That's what I'm saying. And the more you do that, the more you get good at that. This is freedom from your own thoughts that this relationship doesn't work, isn't working well. Now what about if you have a relationship? This relationship is working well. You have those thoughts. This relationship's great. We're so happy. What do you do with that? Huh?

[20:50]

What's the practice with that? What? Same practice. Same practice. This is a fantastic relationship. There is such a thing as a relationship besides your thoughts about the relationship. There's me, there's my thoughts about the relationship, and then is there a relationship too? Maybe so. Maybe there's me, my thoughts about the relationship, the other person, his thoughts about the relationship. Maybe all that together is a relationship. Meantime, I've got my thoughts about it. great, not so good, the worst possible, the worst possible, so-so, various things. The practice is you let your thoughts about the relationship just be your thoughts about the relationship. And the more you do that, the closer you get to this time when you do not identify with the relationship or your thoughts about the relationship.

[21:50]

And then there's no here. and over there, or in between, and at the end of suffering, even though you're still in the thought, this is not working, it's still happening. But, I would say, this will be a little quiz, would I say, if you're in a relationship and you think, this is a great relationship, and you don't just be like that, Then is there a here and a there in between? Is there? And is there suffering? Yes. So you're in a relationship and you think, this is a great relationship, but you're suffering. You're suffering. You're anxious. You're anxious. You're afraid of losing the relationship that's so great. You're afraid of making one fast move and destroying this great relationship. Or whatever, you know. Anyway, you're scared. You're afraid the other person will change their mind and it'll go from the greatest relationship to the worst relationship.

[22:54]

Anyway, you're anxious because she or he is over there. Relationship are over there. There's things outside yourself and they're attacking you. They're threatening you. You're anxious. Even though you're in quotes, a very nice relationship. The relationship I've always been looking for. I finally have it. This is your thought. But your thought is not just your thought. It's out there. It's not just a thought. It's out there. You're grasping it. You're suffering. Now, if you're in a relationship like me, I have relationships that are the worst relationships. Not just not working, the worst. You know? Students I could possibly find. Okay? But in those relationships that I have that are the worst possible, you know, super hell relationships, in those relationships,

[23:56]

I let those relationships and my thoughts about I let them just be that. So then, in the relationship of having no alternative and they're not out there, I'm not suffering. I'm perfectly happy having these terrible relationships. Completely happy. I'm so happy. You know, I tell my wife, I go all over the world and tell people, I say, I tell everybody how mean you are. She says, you do? I say, yeah. And then she says something else to me and I say, I'm going to quote you on that. But I also tell them that you say, yeah, but you're thriving. Now, and you just let hell be hell, you'll be free of suffering. So. If you're in a relationship that's, quote, not working, this is a perfectly good opportunity to practice the Eightfold Path. And you can achieve freedom from suffering in a relationship that's not working.

[25:00]

And when you're free of suffering, you might be able to come up with a few wisecracks. Like, I'm going to tell everybody how mean you are to me. I'm so happy. I'm so happy to be with you. You're so mean to me. We have the worst relationship. But I'm so happy. And I love you so much. And I'm going to tell everybody. And they're going to thank you for being so mean to me and helping me become free. Because not only are you mean to me, but you're mean to me in a way that I can see I have no alternative. never get away from you because you're so devoted to me you're totally devoted to being mean to me I know you love me it's just that you think I'm weird and you can't help it so you tell me and it hurts so much you're so mean so when what's the next question

[26:07]

When it would be a case... When is it a case to end a relationship? It's a case to end a relationship when it benefits all beings. Was that the third one? No. No, you could end it if it had been, if it had all been. That'd be fine. You could have a wonderful end of relationship ceremony and everybody could be invited to come and celebrate the end of this relationship. Everybody would be so happy, you know, including the two people that were separating. each of us has to work on intimacy.

[27:18]

You know, for us. And if we'd work on it, somebody will want to play with us. Bodhisattva's practice is wisdom and means. Wisdom and skill and means. Wisdom is when you finally understand who everybody is. But they're not out there. that they're you, that they're your body and mind. We're all one. That's wisdom. Means is the way you attract yourself to the practice of intimacy, and it's the way you attract other people to the practice of intimacy. Means is the way you attract yourself to this situation right now. Make it attractive to be here, and you attract other people to come and be present. If you have skillful means, you attract yourself to the practice, you give yourself to the practice, you think the practice is a good thing to do, and you can attract other people to it too. You will have people to play with, to practice with.

[28:25]

And if you don't have anybody to play with, then you should just keep working on your means. And what are the means? Giving. conscientious, careful of every karmic act you're involved in, observing carefully everything you think you're doing, patience, enthusiasm, concentration. Those are the means by which you attract yourself to the practice. Those are the means by which you attract yourself to the eight-point practice. And you attract playmates by that, by those means. And if you don't have any playmates, you keep practicing patiently until you get more attractive in your practice, and they'll come. It's a Tom Sawyer thing, right? Do you know Tom Sawyer? He once had to paint a fence. And he started painting the fence, and he said, oh, this is so much fun.

[29:31]

Oh, boy, this is great. But he said all the boys in the village were painting the fence for him. Yeah, they paid him to let him, to let them help him do it. That reminds me of a thing that, you know, they say God heals the disease and the doctor gets to collect the bill. He heals you and God heals you. So Tom Sawyer got, you know, got God to paint the fence and then he got the jackknives. Anything else that you want to bring up now? Yes. Oh, that's right. Yes. For the first time, you've been both patient and being patient with pain and anxiety. And perhaps I've missed something here, but I still don't know how Well, for me, the main ingredient is, related to some other things I said, it's basically to experience the present moment of pain, the present moment of discomfort.

[30:54]

That's the main way I work on it. And what a lot of people do is they use their imagination to think about how long they've been suffering and they use their imagination to think about how long they might continue to suffering or what sufferings may come in the future. Just using your imagination that way makes your pain stronger and almost intolerable and overwhelming. So then when you think about your pain that way, you can't help but run away from what's going on and try to distract yourself. It's too much. Now if you're fairly comfortable, you can indulge in thinking about how long you've been suffering a little, or about how long you've been happy, and how long you will be happy. But that's not patience, that's just using your imagination to take yourself away from the present moment of relative comfort.

[31:58]

But in pain, especially if the pain's strong at all, you can't afford to do that. Otherwise you won't be patient, and then you'll just evacuate the reality of your experience. You'll run away, or you'll dull yourself, or just, you know, or do something that's more intense, like someone was saying, that, you know, if animals are pleasure-seeking, how do you explain that they do masochistic things, that they inflict pain on themselves. And sometimes when people are in pain, especially emotional pain, they sometimes do things to distract themselves physically, to distract themselves from the emotional pain, to mutilate themselves or to get in some kind of aggressive situation because it takes them away from the pain. Of course, then there's also pain dullers, like alcohol and drugs, which dull it.

[33:02]

So in order to stand that pain, we have to just take it in the tiniest possible doses. And it turns out it really does come in these tiny doses of moment by moment. And if you really can't stand it, you'll just pass out. But it's not because you're running away from it. It's because your nervous system says, unconscious but usually we don't pass out if we take it in small increments so then we can find then then if you can stand the pain then you stop fighting the pain you stop running your energy to run away or to ward it off or to dull yourself and all that energy that you use to fight the pain and wiggle in the pain and try to get rid of the pain becomes available to your life So that's why enthusiasm and energy comes up out of successful practice of patience. So mainly you get to the center of it.

[34:05]

So the center of it in time first, the present moment of it. So as I often mention, in a Zen center we have sometimes long sittings, you know, sometimes for several days. or have difficulty, and they often learn in these long sittings, they learn that if they're in pain and having discomfort in their sitting, if they're in a period of 30 or 40 minutes, if they think about the next 20 or 30 minutes, it's too much. If they think the rest of the week, it's way, way too much. So they learn not to think of the rest of the week, the rest of the day, or the rest of the period. They learn, if I just handle this moment and this moment and this moment, it's workable. There are other benefits, too. But first of all, it's the most comfortable way to be in your pain, is in the present of it.

[35:07]

And also, if it's located in space, it's also good to be in the center of it in space, too. So the space location and time location, try to be in the center of it in time. That's the best place. So then you get relatively comfortable in your pain. And then also, as I say, when you're practicing patience, you're not using your energy to fight the stuff away. You're not doing it, you're just feeling it without any resistance when you get good at it. Then also, since you're not wiggling around and fighting it, things start to clear up. So you start to clear up and settle down and energize. Signs that the patience is starting to work. You're feeling relatively more comfortable, less wiggling and resisting.

[36:08]

more energy and clearer and finally get clear about the deep source of your pain so wisdom actually is very closely related to patience because again in terms of right effort it's like patience in the sense of something's happening and you don't you don't jump away from it so you can see it clearly so seeing things clearly and patience are very close. And at the highest, one of the highest levels of insight in Buddhism is called the patient acceptance that nothing actually happens. Ultimate truth is that nothing happens, that there is no arising and ceasing of phenomena. That's ultimate truth. It's only our mind that makes things appear and disappear.

[37:11]

So you have to have a lot of patience to accept that. That's like the most difficult thing to accept. All other pains are warm-ups to that. So you start with your regular little pains, physical pains, social pains, emotional pains. And as you learn to accept them, you can gradually accept that nothing's happening. That everything is fundamentally quiet. that everything is basically nirvana. It turns out that you have to have a lot of patience to accept the good news. Is that okay on patience then, for starters? Okay. Yes? If you're in physical pain, there's a biological element to that. What doesn't exist?

[38:22]

I didn't say the pain didn't exist, did I? I said, do you mean when I said nothing arises? Is that what you mean? To accept that things don't arise, that things don't happen? Your physical pain, like I said, patience with your physical pain is a warm-up to understanding that nothing happens, including your pleasure. But you have to start with the fact that you think things are happening, right? You start there, you start where you are now, and you warm up to ultimate truth. And what's happening now is pain. It's not that we deny the pain. It's not that... If patience isn't to deny the pain, what most people do is they're impatient, and their impatience is to deny the pain. Patience is to accept that we feel pain and to feel it and to not look for an alternative.

[39:26]

And also to feel just one little piece of it, not the whole range of it. So patience isn't denying pain at the beginning. If there's... If patience... If... then you don't have to accept that pain is not appearing, because pain is appearing. You have to accept the pain is appearing. That's how you start with patience, okay? And you develop with the pain that you feel, which is a biological phenomena, right? And you get more and more patient with that, and as you get more and more patient with that, you start to see more and more clearly. And someday you get to see that nothing happens. And by being patient with pain, you can accept this more shocking thing finally. Okay? So, no more questions at this time? Pardon?

[40:30]

Would I explain nothing happens? Um... So we have this sutra at Zen Center which you've chanted quite a few times, but apparently you haven't been chanting it recently. It's called the Heart Sutra, which could also be called the Heartless Sutra, or the No Heartless Sutra. And in that sutra it says, in emptiness, no form, no feelings, no perceptions, no impulses, no consciousness. No birth, no death, no coming, no going, no increase, no decrease. Remember that part? No increase, no decrease, no arising, no ceasing, no birth, no death. Emptiness. In ultimate truth, nothing happens. In ultimate truth, there isn't a Judy appearing and disappearing. There aren't such things. There's no Judys. So there's no comings and goings of Judys.

[41:33]

There's no Buddhas coming and going either. Nothing's coming and going. in emptiness there aren't things things are things are things things are what is separate from other things that's what a thing is but when you see emptiness you can't find anything anymore you reach for Breck and you get the whole universe you reach for the whole universe and you get Jackie You can't find any things. In emptiness, everything's interrelated. Nothing has a substantial core. You can't actually get anything. And therefore, you can't get the beginning of things and the ends of things, and the start of things and the finish of things, and the arising of things and the ceasing of things, and the increase of things. You can't get anything. It doesn't deny the world of appearance and disappearance. It's just that when something appears and disappears, when you see its emptiness, you can't find its appearance and disappearance.

[42:39]

It's ungraspable. It just means you can't grasp the appearance or the disappearance. No, it just means that if you watch disappearance and disappearance, you can't find the disappearance and the appearance. OK? Most people can accept, some can occasionally accept appearance and disappearance, especially the appearance of pleasant things and the disappearance of unpleasant things. People can accept these appearances and disappearances. And some people even have trouble accepting the appearance of unpleasant things and the disappearance of pleasant things. They have trouble accepting it, but at least they say, well, I guess it's happening, right? So this part you've already accepted. really well so you practice patience patience with the appearance of unpleasant things and patience with the disappearance of pleasant things okay this is patience with pain with with this and pain with that and pain with this and pain with that that's patience all right with films that are appearing and disappearing as it gets developed you get to open up to the other side of the story namely that in these appearances for example of pain

[44:10]

In that appearance, when you look at that appearance with wisdom, you can't find it. It doesn't mean that there's no appearance. There is appearance, you know about that. And if it's pain, you know about the pain. But there's another thing going on there too, namely, you can't find the appearance. So in emptiness, in other words, when we can't find the appearance, there isn't one. It's very closely related to this whole mind. Very closely related. That everything's, nothing's separate from you. Therefore, you really can't get anything. So, anyway, you already know... ...disappearance, and if you practice patience with that, then you might be able to practice patience with the fact that in the appearance, when something appears, if you look at it carefully, you can't find it. And not being able to find it is what we mean by emptiness. So in the emptiness, you can't find anything.

[45:18]

And everything that happens has this empty quality. And when you realize the empty quality, you can't find anything. And nothing happens. And it turns out that when you accept this, you are what we call liberated from suffering. It's ultimate truth. That's the hardest, yeah. So we warm up with the hard things that you're already having a hard time with, and as you get more patient with them, your vision improves, and as your vision improves, you dare to see that actually you can't find these things, which you think you can find when you don't. You look a little bit, you say, yeah, I think it's probably there. I mean, yeah, I think it's there. But if you look carefully, actually you can't find anything. You can't find anything. But if you don't look carefully, then it seems like stuff's happening and not happening. And we already see that that's from not looking really deeply.

[46:23]

If you look really deeply, you can't find anything. Yeah, and especially with that person is you Yeah, and also if you have a relationship and you look deeply into Really deeply you can't find anything Yeah, and especially if that person is you.

[47:26]

Yeah. And also if you have a relationship and you look deeply into the relationship, you can't find it. It doesn't work. There's no relationship left. And the relationship, then, is the place, is the address of your enlightenment. Heavy? Uh-huh. Or going to the dentist just for a regular checkup. Okay, so here I am. Here I am, you know, I'm suffering, and I'm practicing patience for my suffering. And, well, I've already made an appointment with the dentist, so they call me up and they remind me. You have an appointment day after tomorrow.

[48:31]

Will you come? Yes. So then I hang up the phone and continue my practice of patience. And then a couple days later, I remember, or my assistant reminds me, I have a dentist appointment, so I go to the dentist. And I'm practicing patience as I walk over to the dentist's office, I'm practicing patience, and as I sit down, I'm practicing patience. And then, after the appointment's over and they tell me that my teeth are falling out, I'm practicing patience while they're telling me that, you know. You're old, you're going to die soon. And I practice patience while they tell me that. But they also say, but you're taking good care of your teeth. That's really good. I practice patience while they're complimenting me. And then I practice patience as I walk out of the dentist's office and they say, well, when's your next appointment? I make an appointment. So practicing patience, I take good care of my teeth, even though there's a limit to how long they're going to stay. I take care of them, but I'm not taking care of them by running away from my pain.

[49:33]

I'm patient with my pain, I'm patient with my aging, and I take care of myself. If you're in pain, like you break your leg or something, be patient with the pain. And if you're patient with the pain, then you may say, I think I should get some medical attention here and get this leg set. But if I'm impatient with the pain, I'm not able to take care of my leg. because I'm going to get angry and start saying, you know, oh, that was so stupid what so-and-so did or what I did to break this leg and, you know. It doesn't help, right? So patience helps you take care of your pain better because you're not getting depressed. You've got energy and clarity to see how to take care of your pain, okay? So let's have a little bit of a meditation interlude, shall we?

[50:42]

Okay? So we can start by doing walking meditation. The principle of practice is that intimacy with X, with anything, is freedom. from that thing. So intimacy with delusion is wisdom, intimacy with delusion is freedom from delusion, and intimacy with delusion is realized by practicing the Eightfold Path, a way to become intimate with our delusion and the karma based on that delusion.

[51:47]

So by practicing right effort and mindfulness and right concentration, we complete the process of becoming intimate with delusion and the karma based on delusion. By practicing right concentration, we begin the process of turning our attention towards our karma, our intention, and our delusions. We begin the process of becoming intimate by practicing right speech, right livelihood, and right action, we try to become intimate with our delusion and our karma in practice, and we see

[52:58]

We have problems in these areas until we become intimate with the delusion at their base. Intimacy with delusion is wisdom, and intimacy with wisdom freezes from wisdom. Intimacy with delusion is the perfection of delusion. Intimacy with wisdom is the perfection of wisdom. By becoming intimate in our relationships, we have the perfection of our relationships, and we go beyond our relationships. with the world of independent existence and suffering is the world of interdependence and freedom and happiness.

[54:15]

Not intimate with the world of freedom, being at a little distance from it, the slightest bit separate from the world of interdependence and happiness, we're in the world of suffering again. Intimacy with what we call samsara is nirvana. And in nirvana it's not that there's no samsara, That samsara is fundamentally not samsara. Samsara is fundamentally nirvana. Samsara fundamentally doesn't happen.

[55:25]

And nirvana is not fundamentally samsara, but nirvana is also fundamentally not nirvana. To open to this, all we gotta do is be intimate with everything. That's all. And you'll see these amazing truths. And you'll be an amazing Buddha. It is not easy. It's not for sissies. It's for heroic people. It's for people who can face awesome possibilities. For example, the possibility that you will not realize intimacy in this life. You have to face that, because if you don't face it, then you're going to think, well, I don't have to face it, so it's not possible that I'm not going to have intimacy.

[56:31]

Therefore, I guess I'll just relax and wait for my intimacy to come. You might not. You can't cower from that possibility. You have to face that possibility and still say, I might not, but I don't care. I'm still going to keep working, and I might even have to have another life if necessary. frozen at the end. And another thing I want to mention is that the Eightfold Path in a sense addresses different levels in the development of of karma, and the right view at the beginning gets you tuned into the world of karma.

[57:46]

Right view at the end, you see through the root of the world of karma. So the root of the world of karma is dualistic thinking. And from that root comes these five hindrances. Comes greed, hate, and delusion. And these five hindrances. And from these five hindrances comes all kinds of unwholesome action. and these five hindrances.

[58:48]

And they're addressed by right effort, right mindfulness, and right concentration. And then you can move down to the root, which is this basic dualistic thinking, basic delusion, and that's addressed by right view and right intention. after having practiced the whole path through once. So you start with mundane right view and right conduct, right intention, go through mundane right speech, right action, right livelihood, go through into mundane right effort and right mindfulness and right concentration, and then wisdom arises And then you can go through the Eightfold Path again.

[59:50]

But this time through, there's not an isolated person doing it. This time the Eightfold Path is the life of compassion. And you go round and round, practicing skillful devices to attract other beings into the circle of practice. Round and round, round and round, round and round. And it repeatedly comes up when I talk about practicing no alternative, or practice mind like a wall, or practice patience, or practice, you know, letting the seen be the seen and the heard be the heard. People say, but then that sounds so passive. Do something. And so I think Maybe some of you people aren't very active, I don't know, but you're active enough to get here. So probably that's active enough.

[60:52]

You either drove a car or rode in a car, and I suppose most of you ate something this weekend. That's active enough. But then you think, well, if I did these practices, would I become passive? If you actually did these practices and got skillful at them, And as you think about that, then people think, geez, the more skillful you get at it, the less... You didn't do anything, you used to be passive. When you're first doing them and you're resisting them, you're still doing something. At least you're fighting, or doubting, or rebelling. But if you really gave yourself to these practices, there wouldn't be anything left, it seems like. There wouldn't be any you left to do anything. And, you know, it's not that you're not there, it's just there's no you left. You're totally included in the life of all beings. But from this all-inclusive presence and all-inclusive being that's not separate from you, and you're not separate from it yet, from this interdependent life, action arises.

[62:03]

It just isn't done by yours truly. Number one, the little peanut. But it happens. Big time. And the activity radiates the entire universe and liberates all beings. It's big time good. It just isn't done by me or you. It's done by us together. So I'll conclude with some stories about this kind of life. So one of our ancestors, my great, [...] great grandfather.

[63:07]

His name was Medicine Mountain. And one time he was sitting in meditation, and his teacher walked by. It was called Stonehead, because he sat on top of a stone. Or maybe he had a stone head, I don't know. But anyway, his teacher walked by and said, what are you doing sitting there? And he said, I'm not doing anything at all. Passive, huh? Watch out. This is a passive tiger. So the teacher says, then are you just idly sitting? And he said, if I were idly sitting, then I would be doing something. If you're passive, you're doing something.

[64:12]

We don't do anything. It's very active. What do you call it? It's the full Monty of not doing anything. The teacher said, what are you doing? He said, I'm doing all. The teacher says, then are you idly sitting? And he said, if I were idly sitting, then I would be doing something. And the teacher said, you say you're not doing anything. What is it that you're not doing? And even the 10,000 sages don't know. Nobody knows what this is.

[65:16]

You can't say it's passive or active or in between. Nobody knows what this is. His teacher was very happy and composed a poem. The poem was... All along... just according with the flow of things, I still don't know his name or who he is. Even the 10,000 sages don't know him. How could impatient, hasty people know? I read this book one time, it's called, I think, In Reverence for All Life.

[66:39]

It's a meditation on respect for animals. And one of the stories of the book was about the author visiting... It looks nice that way. He was visiting some natives, I think Navajos, I'm not sure, either Navajo or Hopi, in the southwestern part of the United States of America. And he visited them many times, and one of the things he found among these people was how the young men could ride ponies bareback. They were so skillful, and they were riding around with no saddle. And he was friends with the chief of the group, and he asked the chief, how do these people learn how to ride horses like that?

[67:49]

And the chief was silent. And then he said, after maybe two hours, question. And that was all he said. Then a couple years later, he was with the chief again, and the chief said, I've been thinking about your question, and I can give you an answer now. I think he said something like, first of all, you'll never be able to do it. Or maybe he didn't say that.

[68:59]

But anyway, you have to be born with these horses. You have to grow up with them. You have to play with them. You have to groom them. You have to clean up their shit. In other words, you have to be intimate with them in whatever way. And then you have to keep living with them for years and years before you can be intimate enough to ride these horses. So, unless you grew up with them, you really can't do it. So I guess who didn't grow up with ponies are never going to be able to ride ponies bareback. But there is somebody we grew up with, that we've been with all along. We don't know her name, but we've been always together, and we can become intimate with her.

[69:59]

So we can learn how to ride her bareback. So anyway, she said, so you won't be able to learn how, but I can tell you a little bit about it, maybe. So then he took his hands like this, opened palms, and he brought the palms together, like we do in Buddhism when we bow, joining the palms. And then he interlaced the fingers, like some people do, I guess. People pray like this, sort of interlocked fists. And then I think the two, what's the first finger called? Index. Then the index fingers came up together as one. and then they made a circle.

[71:06]

So this is the kind of great activity that can happen in intimacy. We meet, we become intimate, and from that intimacy a great thing comes. Whatever. Even the 10,000 sages don't know what it is. So there is great activity supremely wonderful activity. It's just that intimacy, not me, not you, but us together, creates the great activity of the Buddha way, and of amazing horseback riding, and a lot of other wonderful things happen through intimacy. But when these two palms meet, there's no asking for something other than this. They're just meeting. The one palm doesn't say to the other, would you move over a little bit, please? They just meet, and they entwine, and they act together in wonderful ways.

[72:18]

This activity is just not this personal power trip type. It's where you give up control and enter the way with all beings and watch what happens. And one more thing I had written down here was that one day a while ago I gave a talk at Green Gulch and in the talk I was kind of making the point, which I had been making here too, about how human, quite human, to err or to err. You know that expression, to err as human or to err as human? In other words, it's quite normal for human beings to be deluded and therefore make mistakes. I did this this weekend.

[73:21]

Did you hear me? I hope I didn't. talk about it too much. But anyway, that day I said, I've been talking about this and I feel like I've been kind of rubbing it in how it is human to err. And that night I went to some kind of dinner with some people from Zen Center And I think Linda Ruth Cutts got this Chinese restaurant, and she opened it, and she showed me the fortune. And the fortune was, one of these Confucius says things, you know? The fortune was, to err is human, to rub it in is divine. No. To rub it in is to become intimate with human delusion and error.

[74:35]

If you become intimate with error, you realize wisdom. You realize accuracy and non-error. Could this be true? Could this be the Dharma? Who knows? Even the 10,000 sages don't. So is there anything else you want to bring up before we hit the road? Well, I think the way I apply it is, am I present with my own suffering? And if I feel like I am, then I naturally open to yours.

[75:38]

And if I'm settled with yours, I open to another layer and another layer, and finally I open to Kosovo. And that's what I'm doing. But what a lot of people do is they skip over their own suffering and try to worry about Kosovo, and they just feel overwhelmed because they're not facing what's right in their face. I think, first of all, you settle with your own suffering, and then the next person you meet, try to be present and intimate with them and their suffering. And if you can do that, you'll naturally spread to the next person. In the meantime, the next person you meet is a member of the State Department. Who knows? or might be a friend of somebody who knows somebody who knows somebody and you might be able to meet them and convey your compassion to them and they to them and they to them and maybe in that way through some mysterious or even some rational means effect some positive effect on this terrible situation but you have to start here i think otherwise

[76:50]

or just being, what do you call it, sentimental. And this is a story, you know, I don't know if it's true, but this is what I heard from somebody who, anyway, somebody who's connected to the government, and it's just one story, okay? But the story I heard was that during the Cuban Missile Crisis, I was... during the cuba mission crisis and the united states was was heading down to cuba to bomb cuba i have a friend who was on a ship and they were they were he left florida and they were heading towards cuba and they were getting very close to cuba and they got this message to turn back so close and i heard that that two guys two men in washington a Russian and an American went to a bar to have a drink.

[77:55]

And in that bar, one of them said to the other one, Do you want to do this? No, we don't. Do you? No, we don't. You don't? I thought you did. No, we don't want to do this. We just, you know, don't dare to back down. Really? Yeah. And they both went back to their bosses and told their bosses, and their bosses told their bosses, and their bosses told Kennedy and Khrushchev. And they found out that the other side didn't really want this war. And in the last minute, they stopped it. But two people, maybe they turned it around. I don't know how this is going to work, but that's one story. but they had to be honest and they had to meet and all of us can meet ourselves and others all day

[78:54]

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