March 17th, 2007, Serial No. 01425

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I bow to Jesus, crucified as He is. First I would like to say good morning to everyone and it's nice to see you all and especially for our little young people here.

[02:16]

and especially for someone who is sitting so beautifully, and always try to keep that. And that way, when you get older, you'll still be able to do it. So my first talk is aimed at trying to say something for you, for you guys. And the most important thing I can say, I can think of right now is that Everything in this world and in this life is fairly new to most of my young friends here. There's millions and millions of things that you are going to learn as you get older and older and older. But the most important things that we need to learn is how to be kind, Cookies.

[03:31]

And when we are kind, we get big cookies. And when we are not kind, you get tiny cookies. Not Oreos. A what? Oh, just the crumbs? Now that's when we are really bad. That's when mommy or daddy say time out. Then we get a little crumb. So we have to, there's going to be times when you're going to wonder about many beautiful things that you see every day. And there are many beautiful things for us to see and many beautiful things for you to learn and to learn these things. and to try to remember these wonderful things and keep them in your heart, you always will know that you can be whatever it is you want to be.

[04:42]

Last weekend when I was coming back from Los Angeles on the train, I met this little boy and he was with his mother and he said he wanted to be an astronaut. He wanted to go into space. And by going into space, this is his little dream. But if you have a dream right now, try to maintain that dream, whether you like to draw, whether you like to sing, whether you like to paint, whatever it is that you like to do. And if you have a great imagination like someone I know who's sitting here with us today, And they have already the aspirations to be someone very important. And they know who I'm talking about. So I'm not going to mention any names. I hope he wants to be like Buddha one day.

[05:48]

But right now he has very limited ambitions. He want to be somebody famous in our lifetime first in the world first. Like Martin Luther King? Maybe. Maybe like Martin Luther King, but he has this strong desire and I think he's accomplishing it and he will grow in it and he will benefit in it. So I don't want to embarrass him. I don't want him to blush, but he knows who I'm talking about and I wish him every success and happiness in his ambitions in life. Just like for each one of you. You know, when I was little, I wasn't too sure what I wanted to be. But I was into a lot of these very strange comic books. Like werewolves and vampires and all these things.

[06:49]

Yes, I like that too. Yeah. And so when somebody asked me when I was a little boy, What did I want to be when I want to grow up? I wanted to be a vampire. But instead, I ended up becoming a Buddhist monk. So I didn't realize my original dream. No, thank you very much. I can have a cookie after? Thank you. You're so kind. So you have to keep that kindness in your heart. Always keep kindness in your heart. Always keep compassion in your heart. Always keep friendliness in your heart. Always ask questions. Always find someone you can talk to the most, whether it's your mother, your father, your grandparents, or what. Always try to find a good friend.

[07:56]

Someone who will try to guide you and be truthful and friendly to you. Always try to find these things. And always smile. Smiling is the best remedy for anything in life. My grandmother told me when I was a little boy that I should always learn how to smile. Because when I get older, my wrinkles will go like this. And not like this. Yeah, exactly, exactly. And so that's how we have to do it. See, you're the type of young man that asks a lot of questions. So I'm sure you're going to become somebody very important in the future. Maybe even the president. You know, we have to be able to ask a lot of questions and get the right answers. And so this is what I hope for each and every one of you.

[08:58]

And for the older kids, if you're older than 13, I'm not talking about those 18 and over, but if you're up to about 18, you know, the same goes for you. You can be whatever you want to be. You can dream whatever you want to dream. When I was a kid, we made up our stories and our dreams. We made up our toys. We used to play cowboys and Indians one day. We used to make mud cakes the next. We used to make our own little dolls and ride our bicycles. But then it was quite different from today. Now you have all kinds of electronics. So first, do your studies. And then after you finish your studies at home, then you can play your Nintendo. or whatever different types of Xbox or whatever different types of games you might have. And always remember, if you want the key to open up anything in life, the key to life is knowledge itself.

[10:06]

And that means education. So I'm going to stop my little talk for you all right now. And I know you want cookies. So I'm going to let you be free. And may you be happy. and you can go and have your cookies. I don't know if you're getting milk with those cookies. I'm not sure. You have to check the cookie box and see what they have inside. So may each and one of you be well and happy, okay? I don't know how easy it is to get kids to come to service on Sundays, but I think it's a very nice thing that this little group of kids were here with us this morning.

[11:17]

And it's very, not only surprising, but it's very pleasing at the same time because They might not really want to pay attention that much and they might ask a lot of little questions and things like that. But the seed is planted and it's up to us and the parents, friends to help nourish that seed as they grow older and older in life. And maybe one day they might be the ones that could change our planet. I was going to talk, well, I always talk about compassion and method because those are two very important things for me. But I also want to talk about contemplation and action.

[12:19]

That's very important. Because right now we're sitting in the Zindo, it's very calm, it's very peaceful. We are amongst groups of people that are kindred in spirit somewhat, otherwise we wouldn't be sitting here together this morning. Everybody be off doing the various things they need to do in their daily life. But the question is this, what do we do? Once we leave the Zendo, and you walk through this gate of BCC, and then you turn down Russell, and then you hit, I guess that's Adelina, and then you walk down to Ashby. Then you get down by the BART station. Then you have to maybe get on BART, or you're going to ride your bicycle, or you're getting ready to go in your car. And just as you're getting ready to turn on one of the main streets, someone cuts you off.

[13:24]

What are you going to do? How are you going to feel? How are you going to react? This is what I like to call contemplation in action. That means every single thing we do for 24 hours a day is built towards us to build this compassion, to build this loving kindness, to build this quiet mind, and turn it into activity and something that we need to do. Every morning since I've been living here, I walk down to the Buddhist Peace Fellowship to work, and it seemed like I don't see happiness. It just seemed like it's like a negativity that's surrounding us. It's like we're living in a time when there's fear,

[14:26]

There's anger, not knowing what's going to happen this day or the next. And there's this, but we don't know how to react to it. We don't know what to do with it. So then this is what we contemplate on and thinking as we are walking. Not necessarily to be in a hurry, unless you're late for work. But then, we'll just calmly walk. And then as we walk, we contemplate. We don't have to, we can try to change the nature of our environment. Let me tell you a story, and it's a true story. Back in the very early 80s, A group of Thai monks from Wat Phaknam, Bachisharan, moved to Chicago to start a temple.

[15:36]

And they bought a school, a small school, not really that small, but a nice size school, about four or five acres of school. And they moved into this neighborhood where there was many problems and many situations. There was crime and there was people robbing. There was all kinds of negative things going on. But the monks moved there. The people came and helped them get their temple in order and put it together very nicely. Now, this is the middle of a neighborhood. And the people, they didn't know. a Thai monk from any other kind of anything. They didn't know what that was. And they used to see them. And the monks used to walk quietly around. They were always nice and kind to the people. And the people kept looking. Then they decided to have a small festival, you know, because in Thailand they have a lot of festivals.

[16:43]

And they are very nice festivals. And this was Bhagaten. This was the water festival. and little peoples looking and everybody was going around and playing the Thai music and the drums and then the ladies was doing their little Thai number dancing around and everybody was going around the circle around the temple. Three times going around and then they were, excuse me, they were throwing water on each other. Like, Happy New Year, choke me, choke me, choke me. That is the best thing you can say to a tired person. Choke me, that's the highest compliment. You're wishing them the best of everything. And they were just throwing water and everything like that. And some of the people came to see and they were throwing waters on the people. So slowly, bit by bit, the people say, there's something about this. And then slowly they started to come.

[17:47]

And then when the parents came and saw that it's a good place, it's a wonderful place, people are nice and kind, the food is delicious and everything, and all these wonderful things about it, then the young people started to come. Well, this went on and on and on for about three years. Within the fifth year, the Thai Temple changed that entire neighborhood. Not through mouth, not through condemnation, not through having committee meetings, neighborhood watch meetings, or whatever have you that we have around with us, but it was through the example of loving kindness and compassion in action. This is what changed it. They'd done such a wonderful job in changing this community in Chicago that the mayor of Chicago himself gave the Thai temple a special award for the work that they'd done just through their actions.

[19:08]

in changing a community for the better. And if you was to go to this community today, you would find none of those things. The whole community just changed. But it's not instant. It's not overnight. This is just one example of how we can change a community. So if you can change a community, but first we have to think, how can we change ourselves, our hearts? How can we change that? And this is the way I was instructed by my teachers. We have to change our heart. We have to be willing to do the work and come face to face with the realities that's within our own personal heart. My experiences in meditation, in Buddhist practice, spiritual practice, religious practice, Catholic practice, or whatever other kind of practice I may have learned and done in my life depends on what happens within me because of the conditions that needs to be corrected within me.

[20:23]

In other words, we have to go within to the cave of our heart and face the demons. And all of us, all of us have demons. All of us have demons. And it doesn't matter whether you're a monk, a lay person, or what have you, we still have our demons. We're human. We all come from different environments, different places, and we are all trying to find out some type of an answer to something. And this is why we go forth to spiritual centers, spiritual communities, monasteries, convents, ashrams, churches, temples, synagogues, or whatever. This is what we are searching for. This is what we are looking for. Some truth, some reality that can put us on stable ground so that we can begin our walk.

[21:27]

And then we tried to become the good friend. We tried to become kind. But first, if we want to become kind, we have to become kind with ourselves. A lot of us feel, and I used to feel that way myself when I was very young. I would feel, and growing up a Catholic, and especially a Catholic from the old school, I was always felt feel guilty, you know. And the sisters would tell me, now that's a sin. That's a sin, Anthony. That's a sin. I said, oh no, sister, that's not a sin. And she'd say, that's a sin, Anthony. That's a sin. You should not question God. I said, but I'm talking to you, sister. I'm not talking to God. I did, of course. I would have to go through my famous punishment. Oh, I used to carry on terribly when I was growing up.

[22:30]

And I used to carry on. I was like Dennis the Menace in the Catholic Church. But I was one of the best altar boys they ever had. I was very good. I could work it. Believe me, I could really work it. Could work it from the time for a pope was to come, I knew what to do. Bishop was to come, I knew what to do. A priest was to come, I knew what to do. I learned all of those. And this is one of the things that helped me overcome a lot of major serious things when I was growing up as a kid because of my environment. my surroundings. And with the help of my grandmother, with the help of Sister Mary Joseph, and with the help of Father Francis and a number of others, it helped turn things around. But it was through the actions of these people at that time.

[23:31]

At that time I began to think I wanted to know why do we do the things that we do to each other to make ourselves so miserable? Why? That was my major question. That is the question I want to know is why? And then some years later I learned that misery loves company. And once I learned that little tidbit, then you put me on the right steps. I don't want to be miserable. Yes, I have pain and suffering. We all have pain and suffering and things that we have to deal with. But do you want to be miserable? My teacher asked me one time, do you want to keep it or do you want to let it go? I said, keep what? He said, keep your misery, keep your suffering.

[24:35]

Do you want to keep it or do you want to let it go? I said, oh, super. I said, you know I want to let it go. I don't want to keep it. I don't like the feeling. I don't like the emotional attachment that I have to this misery. I wanted to let it go. And then he began to teach me. And my advice to you, for those of you who are coming here, not only should you see with your eyes, listen with your ears, you have to always be mindful to watch the Roshi, to watch the teacher or teachers, to watch them like a hawk. You don't turn your eyes off of them for one second. Watch every movement they make. Listen to everything they say.

[25:39]

And then when you come in here, and then when you do your practice and you sit down, these things are going to rise and going to come up. And just like the Buddha said, e hi pa si ko bi ku we, come and see for yourself. And once you come and see for yourself, nothing in life will ever change that. This is what we will take away with us when we leave this planet. When we begin to make our transition, this is what we take with us. You're not going to take the Mercedes, million dollar home, forget it. Billions of dollars, forget it. You know, that stays here. And all your relatives will fight over that. But you will be gone. So this is what we have to realize. How happy do we want to really be?

[26:41]

And also, for safety and security, how happy and safe and secure do we want to be? Because once we find that for ourselves inside, Don't have nothing to worry about. A lot of things can get taken away from us. Our life could get taken away from us. Our freedom can get taken away from us. They even tried to beat down the mind to a certain extent and part of that can be taken away from us. But that within the Aliyah consciousness that's deep within The nature of each and every one of us can never be taken away from us. This is why you see such courageous things in life or read about such courageous people in life. How could you deal with certain situations that we are confronted with in life?

[27:45]

And then we ask ourselves, why? What are the causes? What are the reasons? And like I go back to what, like I said before, misery loves a company. And the reason why I always keep pushing and saying that is the most evil human beings in the world, deep down inside, they are the most miserable of people in the whole world. And therefore, They wish to inflict upon us and others that same misery, that same suffering. If I'm not happy, why should you be happy? This is the concept. Or you mistreated me, so now I'm going to mistreat you. We come up with all these ideas and all these views, and these pop up in each and every one of our heads.

[28:53]

And when it pops up, what do we do with it? Do we hold on to it? Do we let it grow and build up into something that later on we might not be able to control? This is why we run into conflicts and this is why we run into trouble. This is the lesson that I learned from a lot of people by just working with them who have been in certain, you know, have been in prisons and things like that. We entertain the wrong thoughts. We say the wrong things. Our mind will tell us one thing, and then we'll turn around and say that thing, and then the mind will sit back and look at you. And you just say, now why I'm such a fool? Why did I fall into that trap? Life has a lot of little traps. And we have to be very careful in what we do and what we say through body, speech, and mind. This is why they always emphasize in this body, speech, and mind is we have to be careful.

[29:59]

Don Mummion, famous Benedictine novice master, said in one of his books, there's a very thin line between wholesome and unwholesome, good and bad, saintly and evil. It's a very fine line. And we have to be very careful when we are walking that line, because it's like walking a tightrope. You can fall either way. And then in some meditation practice, we say, when we sit, you have to sit like a rock. But sometimes some people misunderstand. If you sit like a rock, you'll become a rock. So we have to sit like a rock, but we have to maintain that balance and become like the bamboo.

[31:07]

So whatever situation we fall in, we can just flow like the beautiful bamboo. When there's a storm or when there's deep, deadly conflict, the bamboo don't just crack and fall down. No, it's bending all over the place. And then when it's over with, it's standing tall and standing strong. So how do we do this? We try to balance out our practice individually. Because what we are all doing as a group we are all going through certain things differently in our hearts. So we have to balance it. We have to balance it. And once we're able to balance it, just a tiny bit, that's all we need, just a little bit. And once you see it for yourself, then you'll really start working on balancing it. And then again, this is that contemplation and action where you put everything.

[32:12]

My teacher, Dr. Thich Thanh, from Vietnam and he made, in fact, all of my teachers that I've had over the years, they all put emphasis on compassion, metta, service to others. This is the one reason I think, now this is me talking, the Buddha picked this color because I noticed when I lived in Asia over the years, If you see a line of Buddhist monks and nuns walking across a field about three or four miles away, you'll see it. You'll see them going there. And you'll see people sometimes stopping. It's a reminder. This is why a person that maybe is not interested and maybe it's hard, it's not set in the exact place, they get kind of upset when they see this color. So some of the monks we see in the early days had to darken our colors just a little bit.

[33:20]

No, no, no, no joke. See, it's like a bull, just like a bull seeing red. You know, it just made some people agitated for some reason. And then you had to figure out, oh, he's agitated. Maybe the color's too bright for him, might be hard on his eyes. You know, you make up some kind of little story that way, and then you go on about your business. It'll still be kind and nice, and hoping you can turn that person's heart around one day. And through planting these seeds, see, that's the reason why It's like a rice field, you know, picking and planting, [...] you know. So that's what we do first, you know. We don't have to go and knock on any doors. We don't have to beat you down. We don't have to tell you you're going to hell.

[34:23]

Because the hell that we go through is with each and every one of us. We all have our own little hells. And being the way I was when I was growing up, and I was quite a hellion, I had my own personal little hell that I had to work out for myself. And this is what each and every one of us is trying to do in this life, is to work it out. And once you work it out, You know, try it for six months, try it for a year, 50 years, you know. Don't expect, it's nothing instant hit, you know. Of course you might get a little kinshaw, a little something, you know, a little like, boom! And then you're feeling all elated and you're all wonderful, you're walking on a cloud. And then all of a sudden, after a year or two, you'll find out you're still trying to hold on to that first wonderful experience that you will have.

[35:27]

You hold on to it, and it's very hard to let go. I've been there, I've done that. So you hold on to it, and then finally, one day, something else will change, and you are able to let that one particular experience go, then you can move forward. and then you're moving forward. But it's not like little instant things here and little instant things there. Not at all. Not at all. Remember they tried that in the sixth tube with LSD, God in the test tube? It didn't work. It's not instant. It's hard. It's painful. It's suffering. But yet at the same time, when you build up that compassion and that love in your heart for you and your fellow men and the animals and the birds and the bees and everything else you might like on this planet, once you start identifying and connecting to all of these things, this is what keeps us going step by [...] step.

[36:41]

And then we will grow. And then we one day we will understand. There will be no fear. There will be none of these things. Of course. There's always a certain amount of fear, you know, let us have a little shaking like this little room shake for a couple of seconds. We'll have a little earthquake. We all nervous, you know, we might want to run out the door. You know, maybe it will agitate us. It will make us nervous. It will upset us. It will frighten us. Yes, it will do that. But when I'm saying no fear, it's different. It's a different feeling. It's a different attitude. It's a different way of looking at our world. At our world. And then we try to think of ways that we can change that world. And once you find a way to change that world, whatever little teeny bit you can do, you do.

[37:44]

This is one of the reasons why I was thinking that the Coming Home Project, why I came up to help with that, why it's so important. Because pretty soon over 600,000 inmates are going to be released. And within that 600,000, there's a number of them who have developed certain practices and spiritual paths. Meditation, whatever have you. So when they come out, where are they going to go? What are they going to do? Are we going to be there with open arms? Oh brother, come on in. Are we going to feel that way about it? How are we going to feel? So what we're doing is creating a space to bring them in and train them so that they can work with other men and other women. Because you have to remember, even though they have made mistakes, and some of them are drastic mistakes, I give you that, is the fact is they have undergone a very traumatic experience.

[38:58]

And you can see how traumatic it is by just going to some of these prisons, some of these places. And you're waiting there, and they opened up this big door, and you walk in, and bam, this big thing blows behind you. And they live a life where there's a lot of violence. You can't tell from one second to the next what's going to happen. There's hatred. There's anger. There's rage. There's greed. There's good people. There's bad people. You know, and there's people in the middle, they just try to get over. And there's all kinds of things going on there. All kinds of things. So they are dealing with just traumatic. So to help them overcome that, we try to help them and we try to train them so that they'll be able to help others at the same time. There's a lot of them right now in San Francisco who are homeless. You know, it's just a matter of time. for they can't stand that pain and suffering any longer, they'll do something to get back in.

[40:06]

I have some right now. Not only San Francisco, but Oakland, or, in fact, anywhere you can think of on this planet, there are people like that. So what are we going to do? We try to do the best that we can at this moment in time to try to be of some service. And it's through that service that you learn how to be service to yourselves. It's the same if you're working with people who are sick. It's the same if you're working with people who are homeless. It's the same if you're working with people with AIDS. It's the same if you're working with people undergoing all kind of pains and sufferings in other countries, such as Africa and other parts of the world. or living under the fingers of some dictator. And there's the pain and the suffering that we are going through.

[41:09]

Because by us living in the richest and the most brightest of countries in the world, they say, why is it? We have so much pain, so much suffering, so much misery, so much hunger, no homelessness, so much drug abuse. Well, I know why we have drug abuse, because we grow up taking pills. So it's easy to fall into the wrong trap, or with that, you know. Anything we need, or anything that's wrong with us, the first thing somebody say, take a pill. You know, take an aspirin, or whatever, or what have you, we have to take a pill. In order to survive, you have to take pills. So this is part of the cultural thing. So what do we really do, and how do we do it? Before closing, because I think I'm getting close to that time, I wanted to introduce you to two books I recommend to you guys. This is a controversial book.

[42:16]

This is by David Lloyd. lawyer, a good friend of mine. It's a beautiful book. It's well written. And if you get a chance to get it and read it, and I'm sure you're going to want to reply and send letters and emails. I guarantee you that. This one. It's called The Awakening. Yeah. And I'm thinking about, I'm trying to write a little book, you know, but I'm thinking about calling it The Rude Awakening. After reading his style, I think about changing it. And this one, this one is great. This is vice from a spiritual friend. This is how we can develop spiritual friendship so each and every one of us will have some kind of support system. Not only the group system, but true spiritual friend. I have a very good spiritual friend sitting in this room right now, but I'm not going to say who. But I do, and I would suggest and advise you if you have a chance to.

[43:21]

Which one? Okay, Geshe Robin and Geshe Dorje. I think it's Wisdom House. Anyway, Amazon.com. I'm not pushing them right away, but that's the easiest way I can get my books, so I just mention that. And so, thank you very much. And may you all be well, happy, peaceful, free from any disease and grief. And may you guard yourself happily. And may you have a good day. We want to take a couple of questions. Oh, okay. It's a big question. A big question? Can I give you a little answer? Well, I wonder if you could just give us a little glimpse of how you got from being that hellion and the, you know, altar boy in difficult circumstances somewhere or other to this, you know, yellow robe.

[44:32]

And also doing the kind of work you do. Just a little glimpse of what she did. I'll make it, okay. I'll make it short and kind of quick. By being Little Hellion, I was an altar boy. That paid for all of my Catholic education, just being an altar boy. Because the fathers would say, oh, this guy might be a good priest one day. So then we had a special, they had a special group of us. And it was during this group that I decided, I read a book by Thomas Merton, of Order Cecilo. It was about the history of the Travis Order. And that threw me for a loop. and I joined the Trappists. And it was through the invitation of the Pope, Pope John XXIII, who invited contemplative monastics such as Trappists, Benedictines, and different artists like that to have people volunteer to go to the East to study the art of Eastern meditation.

[45:37]

And so that's how it all began. So now I call myself a Budalic. Because I do have a lot of Catholic students and I work a lot with a lot of Catholics in different parts of the country and the world from time to time. So I do call myself that from time to time. That was a word that was created by some of my Thai friends in Thailand. But that's how it began. And then my teachers taught me. to be of service to others by doing different work. And it just grew out of all of that. And in working with the Indochinese refugees when Vietnam fell, that was really the thing that really made the change. So one of the things we were looking at is how Buddhism came to America.

[46:39]

And a lot of it has to do with, you know, privilege and coming through like, you know, 1960s beats and all these different groups of people. But I was interested in how your experience as a person of color has shaped your experience Should I be nice or should I be honest? Okay. In my earlier days, in the States. For one thing, to make it really quick, do you know Buddhism actually been in America over 150 years? Actually 150 years. But it didn't start to take hold until the 60s.

[47:43]

Actually it started before. No, no, it started before that. It started with the Chinese. Chinese came in 1849. And then there's some controversy about this other part that's going on, about the Chinese coming in to help discover this continent. But there's some controversy there. They're still trying to figure that one out because there's examples of that in Mexico, if anyone wants to do the research and go see for themselves. But anyway, as a Buddhist monk walking around, A lot of the young people, it wasn't sure, it depends on the type of robe. We have a different dress that we wear when we go out, but it's a robe, but it's sort of shorter than the other. So sometimes they wasn't sure if I was Muslim or Buddhist, in some cases.

[48:46]

In other cases, they knew I had something to do with the East But they wasn't sure I did not know Kung Fu. So they treaded very lightly. That was my little protection. But then once I was able to know, the people was able to know me and see where I was coming from. Well, I didn't have too many problems, you know, except unusual dress. Sometimes people will make remarks, you know, or they ask me, they say, oh, I like your uniform. Does it represent something? And then I'll talk to them and tell them what it was all about or something like that and those things. But I never had a really bad experience. I don't know if it's because of the way I carry myself or whatever the cause, because even working with homeless and a lot of people I work with in dangerous areas over the years, I've never had a really bad negative experience.

[49:58]

As far as going to, as a person of color, going to the different centers and places and I'm learning about a lot of the controversy and things that's going on with that, you know, and from what I hear and from what I learn and from all these different things and they have the groups for this and groups for that and all these things. This is a new learning experience for me because I've always been the type of the person, my grandmother told me, she says, whatever you want to do in life, go and do it. And then tell everybody else what you've done after you've done it. And that's been my motto. I just go and do what I need to do at that time and at that moment. So, that's probably the best I can answer your particular question. It's all in that family. But I never had a bad experience or anything like that. And even if I did, it wouldn't make no difference. Because I'm there for one reason, and the person that's trying to portray or give a bad experience just has something they have to work out.

[51:11]

We all come with some kind of baggage, but some come with trunks. So, if we look at it like that, then we can understand. We all come here for something. Okay. Okay, thank you.

[51:24]

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