This Little Light of Mine: Serial No. 01093, Side B

00:00
00:00
Audio loading...

Welcome! You can log in or create an account to save favorites, edit keywords, transcripts, and more.

Serial: 
BZ-01093B
Description: 

Includes Kid Zendo

Photos: 
Auto-Generated Transcript

are numberless hey guys

the time
this the first for me i get to or speak
to the children
ah for a bit before we are open up to the bigger children her hand

hi
no are you

a little louder perhaps

does anyone know what an anniversary is
leo
yeah very good a wedding is an anniversary can be an anniversary david birthday yeah a birthday is kind of an anniversary
does anyone know what a birthday is
mira
oh you think

well yeah that's the way of putting it
while the way i was looking at anniversaries and birthdays
is that on january eleventh nineteen eighty four i started sitting zazen
and not too long ago this last month i was my twenty fifth anniversary of that pay
and
does he would know at how they recently passed
i last weekend they will find anything yeah
we also had found time stay right
so presidents and valentine's day was celebrated with a today's machines were
and that was my twenty fifth anniversary sushi the first time i sat seven thinking a lot about birthdays and anniversaries

a birthday you don't have to do anything your parents do something in order to
bring you into this world and they when you come into this world that days mark in his birthday
in every year you get a new one you go one two three it is keep going
as right
now how long
now how how long does it take to have a birthday for wonder too how many days does anybody know i yeah
a year that's right does it mean know how many days they will be updated to die exactly as a lot of days okay now and anniversaries old different an anniversary is marked something that happened after you'd been born so for instance let's say your mom
i'm and dad meet somewhere and they like each other a lot and they want to get married so they are gonna get married and that day becomes an anniversary day
and an expression of that anniversary and their love for each other is what
one expression of that expression of love
you guys
have your you're coming into this world is an expression of your mother and father's love for you
so
i wouldn't tell you a little story
that talks about the love that my parents had for me
and
this magazine came into my mailbox by mistake it was a supposed to be in my box but i opened it up and i found something really interesting to share with use i think somebody is helping me with my talk today
this is a little story by master sheng yen he was a zen master who died not too long ago we have his name on the altar
to mark his passing and they'll be an anniversary of his passing every year
he said when a candle is lit in a dark room it illuminates the room to some extent but it's power is limited but if you use the same candle to light another candle the total brightness increases if you continue to do this you can fill the room with brilliant illumination
some merit to others is like this if we keep our own light scent selfishly hidden it will only print provide a limited amount of illumination but when we share our light with others we do not diminish our own life rather we increase the amount of light available to all thereof
for when others light or candle we issue forth light
when out of gratitude we use our candle to light other people's candles the whole room gets brighter this is why we transfer merit to others this kind of light is continuous and inexhaustible
so have you ever looked at your birthday cake
and seen the light coming from the candles
and as the years go by it seems to get brighter and brighter with my a half hour
he dumped will check it out next time and save us a little brighter

well back in october there was a particular moment in my life that changed forever my father passed away so he died on october eighth and as can be the anniversary date of his die
and whereas he gave me the gift of birth with along with my mother the two of them helped to bring me into this world i have tried to grow up and to help him and support him in his life all these years and
when i was home last before he passed away he said ross when i die i wanted you to have a gift and
he said i want you to have these nuts geese which are these little objects here
he had a cabinet with the little figurines that he collected and i said okay dad i'll take them when you when you pass away so he died and when i went home for the funeral i left the cabinet on the wall but i took out this one here of the buddha to remember him by so if you handle it really carefully
you can pass it amongst ourselves want to grab it and passed it to your friend sir
for with that is what that is if it's the buddha and there are a bunch a little people all around him and those a little children that are kind of washing him and tending to his robe and making sure that he's looking okay so the father was taken care of the sun and the little children
are taken care of the father
so as a gift that keeps on giving it goes both ways
yeah for our children there so you think about birthdays you think about a gift right you can be probably given a gift by your mom or dad or maybe some friends but even when somebody dies i give can be given as well as my father gave me that
gift so even though he's not around anymore there is that gift that i can always remember him by

those holes are for a little string to go through because nuts gif or little weight so have you ever seen a a someone put on a row when they have a little string wrapped around if you look at underneath the robes of our priests of little string there and the strings go through that little hall within that little
nevsky hangs down to keep the thing fat straight as also kind of a and it also tells his story and each nevsky has a particular history and story

you have any questions about the light and candles for birthdays
where's leo
yeah

that's right and if you look at the person who's about to blow out the candle they'll be brighter and brighter as well
they'll probably be happy or to yeah
career path you think they're paler than anything
give a home
no yeah that's a good point david yeah would be lighter and paler
hi not
well what happens with the light on the outside as the actually get really bright inside so when if you look at your mother and father and they're smiling that's their light inside coming out because they're so happy to have you in front of them
and they when you smile as probably because you like having your mom or dad or a dear friend near you to help support you in your life
it's all about the life and as we're approaching springtime is they get longer and longer the days as be lot more light for us to enjoy
to thank you all very much for coming today i really enjoyed telling a little story or two with two guys
cool
i am

i'm i'm sorry i forgot something don't go quite yet
a little more show and tell
no
so
i am fifty two years old
but there was a time when i was one year and three quarters old
so
this this is a stuart this is another story about
everyone
do you
that's right we gather really smart yeah
yeah so anyway this is one one last story i want to share with you guys
years ago my father's mother died and he got very very sad and depressed and so his light cut kind of diminished in dark and he didn't really know what to do about that and my mother got very concerned about his sadness and being canada a little dark and gloomy
so they had this idea let's express her love to each other and bring a third child into the world so they went down to williamsburg virginia
and they
i said okay now the time and that i was born
a little a little later
and my dad's light went from dark to light and he got brighter and lighter and so he and i always had a very special relationship because i knew that i helped him get a little lighter and he also helped me get a little lighter as well so there's a picture of me
hi my little light

what does that look like me
hello
not by why he's not bald and i am
and i got more teeth and for teeth right
that's right and i don't think i could fit in that close either right
though
that's right and my hair my hair turn color anyway
am i wearing like i change the law did not
our cat who is this guy

yeah so anyway
it's the
okay guys thanks love for sticking around for to see my little pictures

me
anthony jason fisher
back in your sack you go

the most kids are getting smart
the voice been sadly even more so

why included with this sense of birthdays and anniversary and history and family at the thought of ancestral home comes up and that comes up of for me from time to time especially poignant now
a few months back in my recent visit bakkies to virginia where i grew up to see my mother and brother
i'm back in ninety five i was at the
later of my life i was really sad and depressed my my light was not particularly bright but i hung in there somehow and other and to the power of of them the mysterious power involves and i got through it somehow as well as with the support of a friends and family and maya my teacher
zojirushi
we have as a shame in december conroe hot shoe which commemorates the buddha's enlightenment and oh i was sitting that for sheen and we have a plum tree the patio out there and ah back east the term flurry is
associated with snow flurries or rebuilt see what snow here in mature flurries typically or and people's ah vocabulary around that
so let's look to the back story for what happened to me at rahat suits with after a pure dissolve them i got off the todd and i looked out the back window and the the tree was in its complete elimination of a plum blossom
and all three back bend over to filled up with these verses of white
and this poem came to mind
logging for the snowflakes of my ancestral home there in the zendo window a flurry of plum blossoms

ah
so when we've been in for when i go through some challenging time i think about what saved what what i can go back to but what will like experience can i am
ah tap into to help me through a difficulty
and you know calling out mommy and crisis a classica expression of a child and thinking about home if with a if we with a loving and supportive on which my fortunately was comes to mind
then i started thinking about people asking ubuntu what did you discover a your through your practice what what new new developments or new new path that you discover
and story goes that his response was well actually it's not a new path it's it's the same path has been there all along as just been covered over by vegetation and by searching
i've returned home
and
the thing that can sustain us is returning to the ancestral home down here in oh the horror of breeding center of our life
because of appalachians of life
are just that they're constantly changing and how do we keep our equanimity when things are falling apart
where we can run up to the mountains and look at snowing ah maybe reminder some some more pleasurable experience the kid running a sled
but actually the the best way to to go about it is to is to tap in here to the snowflake center in our belly

also in this tricycle magazine there was an article about bernie glassman who was before zen teacher in new york
can bernie does things in a really big way he's involved with socially engaged buddhism and creating then houses now which are places where people can can practice zen and learn about the waking up and lessen their suffering in depressed areas around the country
and i admire his word but it's not my calling my my ways is rather quiet and
a bit more invisible for like have a better word but we all manifest or own expression whether it's big or small it's all our own expression of our understanding of the teaching
and as we move along in our practice we
find that way

have we we need a platform to find our way to express ourselves
traditionally the back in china the the monks with and nose would stand while the the teacher with lecture
from a platform i hear this egalitarian society we are on the platform either the low platform of the upper platform but it's all the same height
tossing about platforms and a venue to express oneself in our express an understanding of the teaching
as they as many of you know
i have photography as a queer many years ago and i recently purchased a little camera and take pictures from time to time
and i had opportunity to take some pictures of friends who i greatly admire
i had the good fortune of having a platform to express that
ah capturing my two friends and the bcc newsletter
in the january newsletter there was a picture of nap well ah he was our his number of here
not he was our gardening back here and that in the subsequent month i took a picture of agnes catching ah cleaning the focus on that
and
what i saw and felt when i happened to come across his to people is to fund members was his light coming out from them in their selfless offered
to take care of our temple
i'm
it both case he was a out in the abbot's garden which is proud outside my bedroom window and it was a saturday it was about nine thirty or so
but unlike a work period saturday's this is during the two-week interim when there's no formal schedule here
so i got up sleeping in which is my favorite things to do during the interim i pull up the shades in my apartment and there's not a working diligently in the garden
and i i went outside i said napo thank you for kenny the garden but what are you doing here it's it's if interim we got us no schedule he says oh it doesn't matter schedule and no schedule i from here this is this is what i do i take care of the garden
so i used to be a photo journalist so i said well here's the opportunity to record this this bodhisattva working whether there's no schedule or not
it reminded me of someone asking suzuki roshi about of them starts and he said well it never ended you know we have schedulers we just keep going so they were so i took a picture lab wrote down my reflections and have the good fortune to have had at her vulgar newsletter
editor to put on a page and share the light of novel to our sanga
because i felt that if i got illuminated watching him work
other people get illuminated as well and the light would would grow as a master sheng yen ah taught in this piece some tricycle
ah
some weeks later again just outside my door i saw
agnes working diligently in her
nice quiet understated way
clean focus on her
and in that image
in both cases because of their personality and that sorta understated quiet invisible way
i had ah
some hesitancy about recording it because the very private intimate moment that somebody's putting out
and that was kind of the little coanda i had when i was a photo journalists know the best some of the best pictures and photo journalism are taking when people are and like a major crisis anguish situations
but i am push myself in
found an opportunity to get picture of agnes when her head was down she didn't see me and but using a flash so she was even aware that the picture was taken
and when i saw the results the picture and i apologize for those who seen the see the picture and read the little piece i wrote on a bit are some people here who inhabit the picture shows or someone brushing the tatami mat but the heck covers the heads you will see
and i was immediately struck by when i went to japan and as a picture of a monk doing packard so which is begging with the big hat over their heads they don't see the person making the offering and the person giving the he doesn't see them so as his selfless i give and take
so you feel the light and the energy transmitting back and forth but you don't but it's not personal
it's not personal

so small ways or big ways lot a lot of light or a little light it doesn't really matter is this week we practice and make an effort to be true to our own expression
and
we have a lineage that we recite every day in our liturgy
that
celebrates the anniversary of a person's transmission and carry on the teachings through the generations for twenty five hundred years
and i was talking to a friend of mine about lineage and the preciousness of that back
an effort that those people made to bring the teaching on we done to us
and he said you know there are a lot of people that were practicing that we don't get better can of lost in antiquities now we don't we don't know their names we can't recite their names so we have an echo that commemorates there are celebrates their practice you know to all the cooperating foot founder
years both hidden and reveal who made this practice place possible
when we make this practice possible
so we have candleholders we have candles we have weeks and we have the light
and they're all of a all of a piece

ah the peace

does anyone have a question or comment without but with brought up when the torture error
when the big children's day to the rest of the top
yes fulani
when
where
right

mila
thank you
that reminds me of something that i was
hello hesitant to say but are ah i will say it you know our are teaching here is one of
that promotes humbleness and just to practice and to give and make offerings and things come back to you when you offer though that's not the intention of the practice is it does it does happen
and part of my hesitancy about taking pictures of the two people have mentioned was that it was kind of a
not that they would have egos created in certain going on about themselves and in the practice and celebrating what they do for that i know that well enough to know that they would not do that but it's like bringing to light someone's efforts of other people see that and
we don't do that so much and because it loses to the potential that we become like just back patters and as kind of glorifying everyone's accomplishments and let it be that liquids apartments that it becomes kind of andy ethical to what we're trying to do so it's a it's a balance to how do we make the effort
be seen be acknowledged and let go and go back to sitting on the cushion so i appreciate your in a mentioned the
feeling that you you got up in patients i'm sure the caffeine helps to betray yeah
because you're not come here there just to see me i know
to thank you anna would you his richer com
longing for the snowflakes of my ancestral home there in the zendo window a flurry of plum blossoms

it snowed the last day i was in new york and that was a day that i went to visit the first synagogue built in america that have been restored recently and
it was i don't pretend to follow the jewish faith but showing going in there with with very powerful
and after that
experience our this is sure
i walked up the lower east side path katz's delicatessen where i can't see anything in there because i'm of our vegan vegetarian i appreciate the here ancestor ancestry and and all the history of that place and then to the lower east side
past charlie parker's house where they are alto saxophone player live for a few years to a special joy that i like to go to and drink coffee
and just a walking this sort of path and history of where my grandmother and grandfather live not too far from at temple up to the ah
a area where the ah charlie parker lived
i'm
hip sounds and well we all have our stories walking through history and looking back and seeing what splits influence does he know when i was back home i visited a george washington's mother's grave who she's buried in my hometown and as a place behind her grave called meditation rock
and it's as big rock omen it was a kid with a big rock and just have the street from me now it looks like pebble but nevertheless it is rock that my friends and i used to play around on and there's a plaque there now at it since this is meditation rock where mary washington use the meditates praying for her sons
a safety during the revolutionary war
and also in my hometown as a slave block
he just heard to belief that thumb there's a slave block they are invisible plaque there it says this is where people and goods were auction
and
ah
james monroe has a law office down the street from the slave black mana fifth prison united states
and i
going to you know and music i listen to his music of the slaves in the jazz music that came up from five and the thing that i spin
my
ah a lot of time at
his on the cushion i meditated for the safety of her hobbies
and myself
so i don't i said i ah
i wouldn't one last thing and i recently joined facebook i was invited to a lot in life and i just sit down and i finally did it and so i've contacted a bunch of high school and college friends haven't seen him thirty some years forty some years
and if code exciting to go back and connect with people that i once was connected to a they have a lot in common with or nothing coming away from initially selected after alone but nevertheless i was in new york and i was visiting with my where a stay was there's a forty year old boy living there
and i was telling you about my facebook experience and and i think you know
dylan this is like great i haven't seen these people in thirty years of alex it's all it's very exciting to kennedy reconnect with old friends as said have you ever connected to your old friends and had a similar
and he looked at me car large life if no i haven't been around here for thirty years
and i i forgot that you know i'm a little older than canada has his ancestry and i think the one of the beauties of continuous practice and
determination to continue to practice is having that that history in that path to look back on to see where we've come from
and see how we've transformed
now birthdays and anniversaries
yeah
go
ha
work
time
oh
how about that found this little light of mine
surgeon would you like to
commenter question everything for
okay of feel free to maximize are a few if you do
yeah
yesterday showing his video of your dad you will have to go you will say to him you will come it to you whether he disappointed about you can become is not
or a professionalism sarnia
a white comprehension
so i was thinking how i wish your family's role was here today to the line
and then i realized that that is in class
oh and wouldn't say that the your father's life is not see itself

ha thank you all
my
my parents were married sixty one years and at their fiftieth anniversary which of course is a
big number and in our the way we categorized numbers anniversaries and birthdays and things
i want to do something for them and you know quite often children have parties for their parents that they live nearby and there's people around that we're all kind of spread out and this wasn't going to happen and i thought at it and forget about it but that's this way of life now turned out
so i i collected some letters that i've received over the years from from people that helps my things to say about what i do and but of have helped them and that cursor of involved we all have these experiences but i opened that kind of put them together and made a little card out
of it and i gave it back and i further it so for the anniversary i'm
presented them with this little collection of thank you's ah from people because
i wanted to show them that even though i didn't become a oh my current professional commensurate with my education and the jewish or cliche and all they're the sort of stuff
there's something something got transmitted something that transmitted
and
want to close just reminded the story of my system that are visiting my parents and they my parents generally supported desam and love this lot that they'd always have a little dig or questions about what we could be doing or why we didn't do this match
and so one night my sister got up the middle of the night to go the bathroom and she overheard my parents talking in the bedroom
and my father was going through
each child with their three of us and how and just in a simple way acknowledging that he or she turned out okay
and my mother sent you're right clayton know that they do and i was reminded of this friend of mine who we get it is
discussions or arguments with his girlfriend but when they were lying down together there were no arguments it was an east it was a very useful kind of time between them and it wasn't just a sexual thing they weren't like ebbing
sexy that was just lying down together and there's just something about the vertical where this the world discrimination and picking and choosing and then the horizontal where things just kind of come together and everything is ok
and as us and that's what we we get to do become vertical into the zendo and we sit down and seen this posture of horizontal and vertical together in the matrix is no the breathing center we've we've heard that a million times and something kind of gets it kind of levels the playing field
so

ha

yeah thank you so yeah well as a bumper sticker says it's never too late to have a happy childhood right
yeah
pick up