Leaving Home

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BZ-02471
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Well, this morning I'm going to talk about several things, all connected, but I'm going to start with talking about Shakyamuni leaving home, to begin with. As you know, anybody who has studied the Dharma knows that, according to the legend, Siddhartha, who was later known as Shakyamuni, was a very pampered young man who lived in his father's palace. They don't say anything about father and mother, they just talk about father, but men were, you know, directed everything at the time, except that women really did. But anyway, I don't want to get into that. So his father wanted him to be very happy,

[01:07]

so he pampered him and gave him everything, whether he wanted it or not. And so he did everything he could possibly wish for, which is like our society right now. Isn't that interesting? Our society, in our society we live like an average person who has, you know, some income and security, lives a little bit like the monarchs of old, and just suffered just as much as they did. So anyway, Shakyamuni or young Siddhartha had a young wife and a child in those days, and still, I believe, in India, the children got married when they were very young,

[02:12]

15, 16, but not at all in common. And our relationship with each other, with husband and wife, is not exactly the same as it was in those days. The roles, everybody played their roles. We have different roles. But Shakyamuni or Siddhartha was kept within the palace walls, and his father never let him out so he could see what was out there. So one day, he took a peek. He left the palace and toured the city. And so the stereotype is that he saw four people, I mean four significant people. He saw a dead person. He didn't know

[03:22]

that people died. His father would never let him know that people died. And he saw a sick person. As soon as anyone was sick in the palace, his father hid that person, took him out of view of Siddhartha. And he saw an old person. So apparently he didn't see old people. So he saw those three people. And he also saw an ascetic. There were no Buddhist monks at that time, but there were lots of ascetics, holy men, so to speak. So he saw these four people, and each one of them impressed him in some way because he was not familiar with those four situations. He didn't know that people got old, apparently. He didn't know they got sick, and he didn't know that they died. And he didn't know that there was a way to deal with old age, sickness, and death.

[04:29]

So he said, I have to figure this out. So he left the palace and became an ascetic. And he tried every ascetic practice. He had teachers. He surpassed his teachers. And he went to such extremes that even the ascetics were surprised, that his companions were surprised. There were times when he would eat one grain of rice a day. That's all. And there were times when he would lay down and cover himself with mud and ask people to defecate on him and so forth. So he really tried everything. And then finally, he came to the conclusion that that doesn't work. Asceticism doesn't work. There has to be some in-between,

[05:33]

some balance of life. So he realized that there was a balance in our life that is not unbalanced by extremes. And that also led to the understanding of the middle path between birth and death, ultimately. That's always been our big problem. So we're born in an endless world, thinking that we're going to live forever. And even though we know that's not so, we think it is. We act like it is. And then at some point we realize we're trapped in this world because we're

[06:39]

going to get out of it. And how do we get out of it? We don't want to be in it. We're going to have to leave, even though we want to stay, for most of us. So this is the problem of Shakyamuni, and old age, sickness and death, and suffering. Basically, he came up with the understanding of suffering as the cause, the reason for suffering. And it's the way out, the way to deal with it. So I can imagine when he went into the city, if you've ever been to India, many of you have, I was there for a short time, not too long, but long enough to see that

[07:42]

when you walk out in the street there's a lot of misery. One of the things about India and misery is that people are used to it. It's part of the culture to be poor and somewhat helpless. I don't want to talk about India too much, but what I want to talk about is San Francisco. Recently, a couple of days ago, I went to the federal building, I think it was on Golden Gate, between Golden Gate and Turk streets, if you know San Francisco. And I went to get my passport renewed. So when I left, I went in the Golden Gate door, but I left at the Turk door, because the building spans both, the whole block.

[08:48]

And now, I was a taxi driver in San Francisco for six years, back in the late 50s and early 60s. And so I knew the city pretty well. And when you're a taxi driver, you meet everyone. You meet a representative from every walk of life. And so you learn a lot about people, and you learn how to relate to people, and you can see where they're from. And a taxi driver becomes a kind of therapist without portfolio. So nothing really shocks me. I take everything pretty much without getting bowled over by it. And people, you know, point a gun at you, and they do various things. They run away

[09:50]

without paying, stuff like that. Or they threaten you or talk. Anyway, so you just learn how to find your equanimity and to accept everyone. So since that time, I mean, San Francisco was a very quiet city at that time, really quiet, you know, no prostitution to speak, I mean, on the street, you know, anybody. It was just a really clamped-down city. And then back, things started burgeoning out in the 60s, and the city started getting really wicked, so to speak, if you want to use that term. And then when I was Abbot at Zen Center in San Francisco, often I'd take the ferry

[10:52]

and ride my bike, you know, to the Zen Center. And I could see in the city that the homeless people, homeless, there was a lot of homelessness that started after the 60s. In the 70s, homelessness started being prominent. And then in the 70s and 80s, 90s, more and more homelessness. And so there's this homeless problem, right? Homeless people all over the place. And when you go down Market Street, you see the homeless people, and especially in the Civic Center, where they kind of congregate, that's pretty mild. When I went down Turk Street, I know Turk Street pretty well. I know Eddy, I know

[11:53]

Golden Gate. I've passed those streets thousands of times as a cab driver. It was like bedlam let loose. I could not believe it. Homelessness is one thing. Oh yeah, hopelessness. Oh, there's homelessness, and then there's hopelessness. Homelessness is down by the Civic Center. Hopelessness is Turk Street at Golden Gate and Eddy. That is totally hopeless. I mean, I don't say there's no hope, but it's hopeless. Bedlam was the name of a psychiatric hospital in England in the 19th century.

[12:59]

And we used to use the term bedlam let loose. It was bedlam let loose. I was walking down, and walking, you really are integrated with what's going on. Many people without legs, or one leg, sitting in wheelchairs, all kinds of wheelchairs, sick people, old people, lame people, and nobody with any direction. So it's just like, it's just this chaos, quiet chaos that's going on day and night. And I was just really blown away by it. It was, that's, I don't know if that's part, I don't hear, you don't hear much about that part, that there's like the homeless over on Market Street, and there's the hopeless further up.

[14:03]

And there are probably other divisions as well, but they form a kind of group. And I was walking down the street, and I was watching this nice-looking young, old lady. When I say nice-looking, I mean that there was some spirit there. She was still alive. And she had one leg, and she was sitting in her wheelchair, and she was leaning over, pushing the wheelchair with her one leg, and going somewhere, but probably didn't know where she was going. And that was the state of almost everybody I saw. There was no direction to their lives at all. And people, some talking to each other, you know, various states of existence. So I think maybe, you know, this has always existed. In Europe, you know, you see these

[15:07]

paintings by various painters of that level of society throughout history. And the paradigm, the patterns are the same throughout history. So Shakyamuni, or Siddhartha, when he left the palace, I have a feeling that he was confronted with that kind of scene, and was very affected by it. And that's why he left home, to figure out, what's the cause of all this misery? How do we cause, how do we create all this misery for ourselves and for others? So the fourth person that he saw, Siddhartha, was an ascetic. So

[16:24]

he left home to become an ascetic. And I think that for Buddhists who practice, especially priests and monks and lay people who are serious about practice, leaving home is like, we say, leaving home while still at home, still at home, leaving home. So practice takes various forms. There's no special form, actually, for practice, but there are various forms that help us to practice. And often we go through the same pattern as Shakyamuni. We go through that pattern of being at home, taken care of, well taken care of,

[17:36]

but there's something that bothers us, something that's missing often. You know, we have the six worlds, the stereotype of six situations that we transmigrate through all the time. There's the heavenly realm, the fighting demon realm, the human realm, the hungry ghost realm, the hell realm, and the animal realm. In the heavenly realm, we're so contented with our situation of having whatever we want and doing whatever we want that we don't think about our own misery or the misery of others. This is one of the perennial situations in the heavenly realm.

[18:40]

But eventually, we fall from the heavenly realm, and so many of us fall into the hell realm. The hell realm is the bottom, these are the two extremes. And then the fighting demon realm is where nobody can get along. The word barbarian seems to come from the Greek, in which the Greeks called barbarians people who didn't speak Greek, they were called barbarians. But it has different meanings throughout history, that word. Sometimes it means something good, sometimes it means something bad, and people said, well, I'd rather be a barbarian because barbarians love each other,

[19:48]

and Greeks are always fighting with each other. No aspersion on Greeks, please. So, fighting demons, [...] the human realm, you know, whatever that is, and the hungry ghost realm we all know, that our desire is so strong that we can never get enough of what we want, and it leaves us always in a state of frustration. And the animal realm is where we just are concerned with our physical needs. We don't, and we'll do anything to fulfill our physical needs, including killing each other, and cheating each other. The world is full of cheating now, you know, cheating has become the norm.

[20:50]

Everybody's cheating everybody else. That's what happened to our world. All of the prominent leaders in the world are being seen through for their offshore stuff. So, I probably missed one of those. So, when we're tired of this world, I say, what I mean about this world, meaning the world of corruptions, the world of demons and suffering, we look for something. And following old man Shakyamuni seems to be the best leadership that we have.

[21:55]

If you can find better leadership than Shakyamuni, you should follow that. But sometimes when people come and they start complaining about the Buddha Dharma, you know, please, you know, Buddha Dharma is not the best, it's just what we have. And if you want to find the best, you should just keep looking. And down the street, you know, there's a different temple. Please, you know. But if you want to follow the Dharma, there are certain ways to do that. And one of those ways is following old man Shakyamuni's elixir for dealing with the life of suffering. There, I want to talk about, I just want to say one more thing. I've been reading this book. I didn't like the title of this book, so I never read it.

[22:59]

It's Zen Dawn. It sounds like some kind of, you know, contrived title, but it's really good. It's translations of ancient texts, Buddhist texts, from one of the Dunhuang caves. You know the Dunhuang? Dunhuang is an area in China, northern China, on the Silk Road. And back in the 8th, 7th, 8th centuries, it was very popular, I mean, in the sense of they made, the populace contributed money to have these caves carved into the mountainsides. And the caves have all these beautiful bodhisattvas and paintings, and it's great art, great Buddhist art. And it was recently rediscovered, you know, not too long ago,

[24:01]

100 years ago. And Sir Aurel Stein was a really great archaeologist, Buddhist archaeologist, and he discovered that there was, in one of these caves, a secret door. And the door was opened, and there were all these manuscripts, hundreds and thousands of manuscripts behind there. And little by little, they started coming out. The first edition, the oldest edition of the Platform Sutra, Guinan, was found there, and many other texts that are still being translated. So anyway, J.C. Cleary, who was Thomas Cleary's brother, also an Asian historian, translated some of these texts. They're very old, and I just want to,

[25:06]

because I was impressed with this particular little practice situation, he says, explaining how to subdue mind. I wouldn't call it subduing mind, I would call it controlling our mind, not subduing. Subduing our inordinate desires, maybe. So here are the vows, the five vows. You know, we say practicing Zen is difficult, but not for the reasons that we think it's difficult. This is how, this is why it's difficult. Okay. First, we vow to view all sentient beings as worthy sages, and ourselves as ordinary people.

[26:13]

Second, we vow to view all sentient beings as kings, and ourselves as commoners. Third, we vow to view all sentient beings as teachers, and ourselves as disciples. Fourth, we vow to view all sentient beings as parents, and ourselves as children. Fifth, we vow to view all sentient beings as lords, and ourselves as servants. So, if you can do that, good luck. Buddhism, Buddha Dharma is always way beyond our ability. It is, that's Suzuki Roshi used to say that the reason why the Dharma is still around is because it's more than we can ever actually accomplish. So, let's see what I, so this, you know, when I think about

[27:22]

the cause of suffering, and the cure, I think this is the cure for suffering. If everyone acted this way, there would be a lot less suffering in the world. So, this afternoon, one of our home leavers is being ordained, Karen Dakota, the one who has such a beautiful bear head. So, she will have an ordination ceremony this morning, this afternoon, and if you are interested, you are invited, and it's always nice to witness. Karen is in

[28:27]

Bozeman, Montana, and she now leads the Bozeman Zen group. And so, everything came together to have this ordination happen. You know, nothing is forced, it all falls into place. And she has followed the pattern of Shakyamuni up to this point. Oh, well, I'm happy to do this. I think we're all happy to see this happen. Karen studied here for many, many years, and was a resident, and practiced at the Zen Center

[29:29]

in San Francisco for a long time, and was the first person that I gave a green raksha to, as you may remember, some of you, as a layperson. So, do you have any questions about the talk? What time is the ceremony? I cannot hear you. What time is the ceremony? Oh, three? Good luck. I'm thinking about the woman in the wheelchair that you referred to, and whether she would have the ability to see others as lords or kings, given her state. And, of course, it's incumbent upon the lords and kings to see her that way, and how that can happen to turn it.

[30:31]

Yes, if you can see her that way, you are a lord and a king, but I have to say there was a certain ambiance in the whole chaotic scene that everybody knew that everybody was on that level, and so there was a kind of community feeling. I, you know, people trying to help each other in some way. There was one woman lying down on the ground, and I realized she was lying on top of somebody else, and probably a man. I think it was a man. I could tell by his shoes, but I couldn't. And she was, you know, caressing his head, and she was just lying there. And I have no idea what happened or why this was going on, but there was something very

[31:32]

sweet, you know, very deep, deeply sweet about it. And some people were screaming, you know, like sometimes it's just like people used to walk up and down the street doing that here. And in San Francisco, when I was at Zen Center, they used to walk up and down the street doing it all the time, day and night. But how do you see people? How do you actually see people? I mean, do you see their Buddha nature, or do you just, you know, are repelled by it? I think most people are just kind of repelled by the scene. And then the question becomes, well, what can you do about them, right?

[32:34]

Well, you know, back in when Ronald Reagan was governor, he turned thousands of people out of what we call rehabilitation under the street. And that's what? He closed the hospital. Yes, he closed the hospitals in order to save money for the state. And that's where it all started. That's where all the homelessness started. It seems like you were more in the milieu of the suffering of people earlier on with the cab driver. And then over the years, not that you were immune to it, but it was not in your, right in front of you. It wasn't in front of my face. Yes. But then you got this passport, coincidentally, and the passport took you.

[33:38]

Yes. Free pass. That's right. Totally, yes. Some of those people that you're saying were homeless came from the Vietnam War. Many of those guys came back and were unable to do the daily life situation. Yes. That's right. So there's the homeless, and then there's the hopeless. which is a step, a further step. That's what I'm talking about, actually. It's 50 percent. There's quite a lot of them. Every day, yeah, every day. Peter? I was wondering if you could talk a little bit about that question you raised, what can we do about it? It seems like it's important about from where you ask that question. And so, if I casually ask that question to myself, it's easy to get stuck, but then if

[34:43]

I ask that, if you ask the question from your place of seeing others as Buddha, maybe there's more possibility. You know, each one of us has a Buddha field. And one Buddha field can be very narrow or can be very wide. So, how do you take care of your surroundings? How do you take care of what you can actually take care of? I remember Suzuki Roshi talking about if you can take care of your surroundings, that's a great accomplishment. If you try to hold on to the tail of a comet, people will pity you. So, there's always the question, you know, how come I'm not out there saving those people?

[35:47]

There are billions of people in the world who need help. Go. If you take care of your own corner of the world is how you influence the world. Sitting Zazen, you may think that sitting Zazen is retreating from the world. Sitting Zazen is retreating from the world and opening yourself to the universe. So, our activity proceeds from Zazen into society. Take care of what you see. I saw a woman fall down, so I helped her up. But there are 10,000 people falling down. I can't help them all up. But if I help that one person, I don't know what that leads to.

[36:51]

But our attitude is what leads to influencing the world. So, each one of us influences the world in small ways. The world will not change because of life and death, and because of yes and no, and because of good and bad. Those things will not change. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad. Sometimes what's bad is good, and sometimes what's good is bad. So, we make a lot of judgments and we have a lot of sympathy and empathy. This is a big koan, so take it up. Alan? I just wanted to remind you, you may have remembered, actually you dedicated Zendo at the Faithful Fools.

[37:54]

Oh yeah, the Faithful Fools back down in the... Right there, in the Tenderloin. The Tenderloin, that's right. Right there. I had my Faithful Fools cap, well they gave it to me. You know, Keith Walker began this Zendo from this community, and he created Zendo which you dedicated it to. And then Judy has worked there and lived there for a while. Who? I changed it, but I... Oh, Judy, yeah. And Lori and I were going for more than a year, and what was provided was Zazen. And sometimes some people came in from the street, but that wasn't really... Really what the essence was, to me, was providing a grounding for people who had decided, we're going to live here. And we're going to just open our doors and be of help to people.

[38:55]

And Zazen was a grounding of resilience for them. And they said, and anybody who wants to come in from the street can do it. You know, some few people did, but they're still there. And the amazing thing, this is called the Faithful Fools, and you can look at them. The amazing thing is that they see what some people have been responding to, and what you referred to also. There's a level of community. Even within the addiction and hopelessness, there are people who are yearning for community and creating community on the spot. And these people, the Faithful Fools have said, okay, well we're going to be here for them. And help them in... They can't solve the problem. It's too huge.

[39:56]

And San Francisco is taking all those people and putting them in one neighborhood as if there's a wall around it, and surrounded them by incredible wealth. But there are people there who care about and bring forth the community that exists. And I feel like that's what the Buddha saw was, there's always that possibility. And so in that sense, the Sangha that he created was open to people of... It was open to untouchables. It was open to women. God forbid. God didn't forbid it. And so, that's seeing just that shining one corner of the world. Okay. Thank you. Ed. I think it's Ed. Maybe it's...

[40:59]

Oh, it's... Mike. Hi, Mike. I live three blocks from the... And I work for his office. And I see what you talked about. Yes. The community on the street, on the sidewalks, and so on. And a number of churches also do what you talked about, that talent can help because everybody is good. But the problem isn't easy. No. It wasn't just women who wanted to close the mental hospital. The whole community wanted to close the mental hospital. They were not the solution. Yes. And there is no one solution, I don't think. And it's a very difficult problem. The people themselves don't want to go off into the shelters for good reasons, or into the Philippines. So, helping where you can right there is what you can do.

[42:04]

But as far as overall measures are concerned, a lot of people have goodwill in the establishment of San Francisco. Yeah. And it's a very difficult problem. It's not all one community for one thing. There's all kinds of things. Well, there's so many different causes that... Linda, you're the last one. I was just reading an Indian text that has this famous image of the razor's edge, the path of the razor. I was reading this week an Indian text that has the famous image of a razor's edge that says the path is a razor's edge, very difficult to walk. And this, you know, for me is maybe the koan, what you've been talking about. Because if you just take care of your little corner, then that's one way of falling off, you know? It's like some French writer said, cultivate your own garden. But that can become very self-centered.

[43:06]

And then there's something we call activism. That's a way you can fall off. But some people on experiencing what you did the other day would remember that Salt Lake City just sort of solved its hopeless problem. They actually dug in and did it. Instead of saying it's hopeless and it's complicated and I can't pick up 10 billion people. You didn't say that, you said 10 million. Anyway, this koan is really, really alive. It's like there's an iron ball that you can't swallow and you can't spit out. Just doing zazen doesn't excuse you. Who said anything excuses you? No, no, I'm sorry. That sounded combative at the end. That's my habit. I know. But I take it back. You're absolved. I got you. Thank you.

[44:08]

Thank you. Thank you.

[44:10]

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