It seems like a strange arrangement to have these people sitting behind Alan in a row. I can hardly see them. Why don't you two come up and sit? In the Blue Cliff Record, there is a koan of Master Umon, which is titled variously, Each One Has Their Own Light.

[01:27]

Umon says, Each one has their own light. But when you try to look at it, it grows dim and dark. And then he asked his students, what is this light? And they didn't say anything. So Uman said, in their place, the meditation hall, the kitchen, the pantry. Dogen wrote a commentary pretty much on U Mon's statement

[02:34]

called ko-myo. Ko-myo means radiant light. Sometimes it's translated as divine light, which is nice, but divine is usually associated with a deity. So this is kind of where Buddhism reaches the edge of its meaning, where it comes close to talking about a source. Dogen says that Komyo is Buddha nature. So Buddha nature is not a deity.

[03:42]

Buddha is not a deity, although Buddha is deified by Buddhists. Strictly speaking, Buddha is not a deity. But there is a place where it kind of gets tricky. So, some translators translate it as divine light and others translate it as radiant light. Radiant means coming from somewhere. Vairocana Buddha actually is the Buddha of radiant light. That's what Vairocana means. And Vairocana in the of Buddhology is at the center of the universe radiating light and is seen as the source.

[04:52]

But still, Vajracana is not a deity. even though Vairochana is often treated as a deity. But there has to be some focal point. So Vairochana is the focal point. And the quality of Vairochana is or the ground of vairagyana is buddha nature and the quality of buddha nature is komyo, radiant light and there's a samadhi called komyo-zo-samadhi which is a radiant light samadhi

[06:08]

which is another name for jijuyu, zamai, self-joyous or self-fulfilling samadhi, which is another name for shikantaza, which is the term that we usually use. So there are many names, but they all refer to the same source, So Dogen wrote this fascicle. He said, Komyo, he said, don't mistake this light for, don't try to visualize this light in some special way, like the light of fireflies or the various lights that we see when we close our eyes, or the blue light, or the green light, or the white light, or something like that.

[07:14]

He said, this light is Buddha nature, and it doesn't appear as your idea of light. It doesn't appear as your conception. But just to see everything, as Komyo. The whole body of the universe is Komyo. And then Eijo, Dogen's disciple, his main Dharma heir, wrote piece called Komyozo, in which he is inspired by Dogen. Dogen's Komyo.

[08:18]

And it's quite long. And at the end, he kind of sums it up, what he's talking about. So I want to comment on Eijo's the end of Eijo's piece, which is called Komyozo Zamae, the Samadhi of Radiant Light. He says, I have some earnest advice for those who sincerely aspire to practice. do not be pulled by a particular state of mind or by an object. Not to be pulled by a particular state of mind means that we shouldn't try to achieve some particular state of mind called samadhi, or this is it, or

[09:33]

peace, or enlightenment, do not be pulled by a particular state of mind or by an object. We're always being pulled by various objects. We see something, and we are interested, and then we are curious, and then we want something and become attached to what we want. And the same goes for states of mind. Specifically, he's referring to Zazen. In Zazen, there is no special state of mind. This is the most important thing, actually.

[10:38]

Whatever state of mind arises at any moment is your life. And to settle the state of mind which is present at any given moment is zazen. So when we sit, ideally we like to have no thoughts. that to want to have no thoughts is to be attached to a special state of mind called not thinking. And then, you know, we complain that it was not very good Zazen because my mind was going all the time and I was thinking this and I was thinking that

[11:40]

But this is called being attached to various states of mind. You may not be attached to the state of mind that you didn't like or you didn't want, but actually you're attached to the desire to just let mental states come and go. Oh, there's an elephant. Oh, there's a pig. Oh, there's a chicken. Oh, this is happiness. Oh, this is anxiety. Oh, this is anger. Oh, this is love.

[12:44]

Whatever is there, just that's who you are at that moment. And to be aware. And then it changes. And that's the next state of mind. But the body is sitting zazen, settled on the self. Do not be pulled by a particular state of mind or by an object. Do not rely upon intellect or wisdom. Thinking won't help. And even wisdom won't help. Do not carry in your hands what you have learned on a seat in a sangha hall. In other words, learning will not help. all the wonderful things you've learned will not help.

[13:53]

He says, just cast your body and mind into the great ko-myo-zo and never look back. Just cast your body and mind. In other words, just let go and let body and mind Be free to be a vehicle for radiant light. This is called dropping body and mind. Dogen calls this dropping body and mind. I call it getting out of the way. Never seek to be enlightened.

[14:54]

nor drive away delusion. Neither hate the arising of thoughts nor love thoughts and identify with them. Just sit stably and calmly. If you do not continue to think, thoughts will not arise by themselves." Well, that's open to doubt. That's very ideal. sky or a ball of fiber. Trust everything to inhalation and exhalation, to just allow breath to come and go, to follow the breath. It's very difficult to follow the breath in a true sense because the mind must be very to actually follow the rhythm of breathing, because as soon as we start to follow the rhythm, or at some point, we start to control or feeling that we're controlling the breath.

[16:07]

So to actually let go of controlling factor of mind, and just let the mind, just let attention be free enough to follow the rhythm of the breathing. Even if 84,000 idle thoughts arise, each and every one may become the light of pranayama, non-discriminating wisdom, if you do not pay any attention and simply let them go. So this is a very interesting point. We tend to think of our idle thoughts as useless or just getting in the way. But if you don't attach to them, he says pay attention, but it means attach to them.

[17:18]

If you don't attach to them, each and every one may become the light of prajna, because that these idle thoughts are just buddha-nature. They're not the devil, simply buddha-nature arising as passing thoughts, not only in sitting, that every step you take is the movement of the light. Step after step, no discrimination. Throughout the day, be like a dead person, completely without personal views or discrimination.

[18:20]

Without personal views or discrimination, to me has the feeling of, being unassuming. Unassuming means without having partiality, but just leaving the mind open to let whatever is perceived arise. so that we tend to think that we know what things are in order to establish a security in our mind.

[19:26]

We label And we put together our experience and we say, I know what this is and I know what that is, in order to be able to function in a knowing way. But this is just an idea that we have about what arises. to actually leave the mind, to leave that discrimination go and just allow things to arise in a fresh way without knowing what they are. If we do that, knowing knows. We respond spontaneously.

[20:28]

rather than premeditating. That's what he means by dead person. Dead person doesn't mean that the person is dead. It means that the ego is dead, or the ego is not operating in a self-centered way. in a discriminating, partial way. Then he says, to inhale or to exhale, to listen or to touch, being without thoughts and discrimination is nothing other than the tranquil illumination of the light in which body and mind are one. Without thoughts of discrimination, we're always thinking and we're always discriminating.

[21:38]

One can't really be without thoughts of discrimination. I mean, yes. But without thoughts of discrimination really means without partiality, without taking sides or viewing from only one side. It means the non-duality of true perception. Therefore, when someone calls, you answer. There are various koans about calling and answering. But what it means, when someone calls, it means when there is a When the bird sings, suddenly the bird is singing inside of your mind.

[22:45]

You respond without thinking. You respond without creating an image. It's just calling and responding. no subject or object. Division. So he says, this is the light in which ordinary people and sages, the deluded and the enlightened are one. Even in the midst of change, the light is not hindered by it. Forests, flowers, grass and leaves, human beings or animals, big or small, long or short, square or round, all manifest themselves simultaneously, independent of discriminating thoughts or will.

[23:53]

This is proof that the light is not obstructed by change. The light illuminates of itself. It does not depend upon the power of the mind. From the beginning, the light does not rest. Even when Buddhas appear in the universe, the light does not appear. When the Buddhas enter nirvana, the light does not enter nirvana. When you are born, the light is not born. When you die, the light does not die. It does not increase in Buddhas, and it does not decrease in sentient beings. Neither is it diluted, even if you are, nor enlightened, even if you are. It has no position, no appearance, no name. This is the whole body of all phenomena. You cannot grasp it. You cannot throw it away. It is unattainable. Although it is unattainable, it penetrates the whole body. It's like our eyes can't see themselves.

[25:05]

but they function as eyes. You can't grasp this Komyo, but if you just open yourself, it pervades everywhere. From the highest heaven down to the lowest hell, All places are perfectly illumined in this way. This is the divine, inconceivable spiritual light. If you trustfully open yourself to and believe the profound meaning of these words, you will not need to ask someone else what is true or false. You will be as intimate with the reality as if you were to come face to face with your grandfather in a town. Do not seek from your teacher certification of your enlightenment, called Inca, or a prediction as to when you will attain Buddhahood.

[26:18]

Much less should you be attached to clothing, food, or a place to live, or be driven by attachment to sexual desire. From the beginning, this samadhi Komyo Zo Zamae is the dojo. It's a dojo. It's the place of practice, which is the ocean of Buddhahood. This is Zazen, which is the sitting of the Buddha, the practice of the Buddha, which has been faithfully transmitted. Since you are already a child of the Buddha, Stably in the manner of the Buddhist practice. Never sit in the manner of hell dwellers, hungry ghosts, animals, fighting spirits, human beings, heavenly beings, Shravakas or Pracheka Buddhas. You know, these are the six worlds, right?

[27:30]

Don't sit like... people in hell, hungry ghosts or animals, fighting spirits, or human beings. You know, when we sit sadhana, it's Buddha's practice. You are Buddha, not just an ordinary human being. Although you are an ordinary human being, when you sit, it's Buddha's practice. Because we don't say, I am sitting. It's not my zazen. We say, my zazen. But actually, you should be careful, because it's not my zazen. There's no self in zazen. Even though we say self-fulfilling samadhi, there is a self.

[28:32]

But the self is not a self. We say self in a convenient way to identify something. And Sravakas and Pratyekabuddhas are trying to get something out of their meditation. This is a very different zazen is different than a lot of the meditation practices that we see around us, even though they may look the same. A lot of the meditation practices that we see around us have a gaining idea. Zazen has no gaining idea. It's simply settling down in the samadhi of radiant light.

[29:37]

Practice shikantaza in this way. Do not waste your time. This is the dojo of straight mind or pure, clear, bodhi mind. This is called komyozo zama. Inconceivable liberation. Inconceivable liberation means freedom, total freedom. And total freedom means freedom from self. This is the biggest problem that we have, of course, is attachment to self. which leads to our suffering. But when we sit, we don't try to be free from self.

[30:55]

Simply sit and let go. Do you have a question? Was he saying that this light is not subject to change? No, he said that when things change, it doesn't change. the coming and going of things, the creation and dissolution of things. It's not affected.

[32:01]

So is it permanent? Well, that's a good question. Permanent refers to objects. Permanent refers to phenomena. So although I would say Komyo is omnipresent, it's not subject to change in the way that objects are. or the way that phenomena are. Although it's the source of phenomena, it's not... You know, Buddha nature, let's put it this way, Buddha nature is continually changing.

[33:09]

But It doesn't have a special form. There's no special form which is graspable or identifiable. So when you say permanent, all you can say is, The most permanent thing is change. But you said it doesn't change, so it sounds like it's permanent, not impermanent. It doesn't change, but it's nothing but change. And since it's nothing but change, it doesn't change.

[34:12]

but at the same time it's called stillness. So whatever you say, you know, is dualistic, right? So if you say it doesn't change, that's dualistic because that's the opposite of change, right? So When you say it doesn't change, it means in the absolute sense, not in the relative sense. Right.

[35:29]

So, as the old saying goes, form is emptiness and emptiness is form. And that form is form and emptiness is emptiness. Yes. Change the subject. Change the subject. the active and the passive.

[36:43]

The passive side is to accept everything as a manifestation of Buddha nature, which has no special shape or form. So when we sit and open our self passively, we allow this to happen. But at the same time, the active side is to have some form, a container called this body and mind. So we can't ignore this body and mind. So we position the body in a way that is the strongest position to accept everything.

[37:57]

So that's why we sit up straight, cross the legs, and we have this triangle, which is the most stable position. This triangle is the most stable position. You can't push it over easily. And we sit up straight and we present ourselves to the universe in the most noble position. and we put all of our effort and energy into doing this. This is the positive aspect of Zazen. The active aspect. The active aspect is to present ourselves to the universe in the most noble posture, stable posture, and without leaving anything out. It's called total dynamic activity of stillness. And it's where stillness and activity become one thing.

[39:19]

And you can't say this is stillness and this is activity. They're totally harmonious, those two aspects. And so to merge those two aspects into one to come back. The effort, that's where the positive side is making the effort. Zazen is called 10,000 times in an hour, bringing the mind back. That's the active aspect. If you just let the mind drift, that's not Zazen. Even though the mind drifts, when there's awareness and coming back, that's Zazen.

[40:26]

And then the drifting is Zazen because the active part is merging with the drifting. The making the effort is Zazen. Zazen is not just sitting there passively. It's not really true Zazen. The effort has to be there as well. looking at this active effort outside of sitting in Zazen and in areas where I'm committed to action, and yet I see the similarity there. Making the effort, following the procedure, having goals actually, having commitments and promises, and yet seeing that the suffering that arises in my life is because I'm not, a lot of it is because I'm so attached to having it turn out in a particular way.

[41:41]

there will always be suffering. That's part of acceptance. And if you accept that, it's a relief for your suffering. As long as you're trying to get rid of suffering, you just suffer more. That's one aspect. The other aspect is that there is suffering in which we feel the suffering of others, and then there's suffering which is self-centered, caused by our own self-centeredness, not having what we want, not getting what we want, not having things turn out the way we want them to be. So, that's usually what we're suffering with most. I think we have to always look at, in what way am I causing this suffering?

[43:07]

There's suffering that comes from other sources, but the suffering we're concerned with is the suffering that we cause, and ourself. That's something that we can really do something about sometimes, mostly. Well, it just seems that a lot of times I can sometimes sit here within the suffering and say, oh, there's a shift in the attitude that just relieves that, and the suffering is just gone. Yeah. And there's something different when you approach it, or just accept it. Well, there's the pain, and then there's the suffering. The pain is pain, and pain is not necessarily suffering. when we want something else, then it's called suffering. That's why it's really hard to sit and accept the pain or the difficulties because we want something else.

[44:22]

As soon as you want something else, then you set up the conditions for suffering. So that's why we say, just sit. Shikantaza means just do. Just be. Just let it. This is your life. This pain is your life. This pleasure is your life. But what we want is, no, this pain is not my life. I don't want this pain to be my life. That's called suffering. It's hard to deal with, but... The pain also of trying to do it right? I mean, it's all part of it. No. It's judgment. Judgment, yeah. Yeah. So if it's between effort, just good effort, and having to have the result turn out a certain way.

[45:32]

Right, so when we, having to have the result, You know, we want results to turn out, right? But when they don't, we are attached to the results. So it's good to just work for, you know, when you sit zazen, you only sit moment by moment. We say, we sit 40 minutes of zazen, that's not the way of speaking. We actually sit one moment at a time. There's no goal, like 40 minutes. There's just one moment at a time. You're just living your life one moment at a time. As soon as you start thinking ahead, you set up some goal. And then you set up some goal, and then you say, I can't do that. Just do things one moment at a time. One thing at a time, one moment at a time. And accept the success and failure of that moment.

[46:37]

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