Good morning, everyone. Good morning. For newer people, I'm Taigen Leighton, the teacher here at Ancient Dragons' Endgate. And this morning, I want to talk about I don't know what. So, I have some notes scrolled down here, and even if I can read them, I want to talk about I don't know what. So, that's my name for reality this week. Dogen, our 13th century founder, Japanese monk, founder of this tradition of Zen, sometimes just called it what, or what is it, or what is this that thus comes.

[01:04]

And some of you have heard me talk about it as what it is. But today, I'll just say I don't know what. I don't know what. Reality is another word for that. So our practice is exploring reality. Is there even one reality? Maybe there are multiple realities. That seems to be, from what I can gather, what modern physics is saying, whether you're into quantum or string theory or whatever, there's multiple realities. Or maybe there's not even any reality. And certainly, reality is not a thing, because in reality, there are no things.

[02:19]

Brook Siporan, who was here recently in his wonderful new book, Emptiness and Omnipresence, talks about thinking thinglessly. Pretty hard to do in our language, or maybe in any language. I don't know what. And this isn't even a function of my stupidity or my limited human faculties. It's reality itself, if there is such a thing. So I'm feeling more and more recently like, certainly, I'm not in control of anything. I don't know what. Of course, there are times when I want the dawans to run on time.

[03:26]

And I imagine that things might happen that way. So, this is another way, this, I don't know what, is another word for our zazan practice, our samadhi. This wonderful practice we do. This settling, this upright sitting, this practice that includes all beings. It's about helping all beings. That is, you know, totally beyond our control. I mean, even if you're a high class meditator and you can focus your mind and dispel all

[04:34]

thoughts for a few minutes or a few hours or whatever, and actually manage to count to ten with your breaths or whatever. I don't know what. But the reality, if there is such a thing, of our samadhi is that this is the practice that includes all beings, everything. Everybody you've ever known. Everybody you've never known. All beings in the past and future are part of what's happening on your seat and in this room right now. And also, this helps all beings. So, I want to talk about our samadhi as a social practice, our samadhi together and each one

[05:36]

of us. Our zazen supports the samadhi of all beings. This is wonderful. This is a wonderful situation and it's a terrible situation. This is beautiful and glorious and awesome and it's terrible and painful. Here we are, just sitting together with all beings, each one of us, in our own way. But I don't know what is happening on each of your seats or even on mine. And yet, here we are and we're sitting for many beings, for all beings, but many beings

[06:42]

in particular. So, I feel like I'm sitting for this terrible thing that happened in Orlando and all the attacks on the LGBT community, which is under attack in so many ways. And I'm sitting with them and for them. And today is Pride Day and there are marches in Chicago and many places. And I feel very sad. But I also have to acknowledge that I'm sitting for the people who cause harm. I'm sitting for the people who think that we need to have assault rifles. Matt, who's not here today, but who'll be here tomorrow, teaches in grade school.

[07:50]

And there are people who think that all grade school teachers should have assault rifles. And most of those people, I think, are the manufacturers of assault rifles, are the people who, you know, the lobbyists and congresspeople who are paid off by them. But my sitting includes them too. I really think that's a terrible idea. But as some dude in one of my favorite American Buddhist movies says, that's just my opinion, Matt. You know? But I do think it's a terrible idea that we have assault rifles, that we have guns on the streets of Chicago. Because there's so much hatred.

[08:56]

There's so many people who don't think they're sitting and practicing for all beings. So, you know, the people in Congress sat down, maybe they did Zazen, you know, for, I don't know, 24, maybe more than 24 hours last week. They sat down, led by John Lewis. You know, they sat for some tiny little modest gun control. So maybe they should be doing, maybe the people in Congress, maybe we'd be better off if they just sat Zazen all the time. You know, if they sat Sashin, if they didn't pass any laws or do anything else, but just sat Zazen all the time. You know, Sashin, 24 hours. That would be, that would be beautiful. They would be sitting for everyone. They would be really taking care of the American people. I don't know. I don't know. That's just my opinion, man. But anyway, there are those people who think that everybody should have guns, and teachers

[10:03]

in all the classrooms should have assault rifles, and anyway. So my Zazen has to include all of them. My Zazen has to include the people who want to make regime change all over the world and all of the dictators or governments they don't like, that America should go and, you know, change those governments and, and send weapons to people who will take over those governments and, you know, and then who knows who will replace them. So we've got this, this war on terror thing happening. I don't quite understand this. It's a war on terror or a war on terror, but, and then there are people who want to build walls to keep Muslims out or Mexicans or somebody.

[11:05]

I don't know. So I have to sit for those people too. I don't know who the terrorists are. I really, I just, you know, they all, if everybody just said Zazen and we just included everybody, if everybody included everybody in their Samadhi, you know, I think that might help a little bit. So maybe we should keep all foreigners out. Maybe we should keep all Muslims out. I don't know. But, you know, who is, it's, it's, it's funny. I saw that the United States government bombed or occupied at least 14 different Islam, Islamic countries since 1980. So maybe those people think we're the terrorists. I don't know.

[12:05]

It's, it's, you know, it's hard to say what's going on. But, you know, it's, if you look around, there's, ah, there's revolutions happening all over the world. Maybe that's always happening, you know, we're always turning. The Dharma wheel is turning. People are turning. So how do we sit with all of that? How does our Samadhi include all of these beings? How do we help all beings by including them all? So I've heard that, you know, people who do dedicated Samadhi practice, sitting up in the

[13:09]

mountains, really focusing on settling and opening and being present, are doing social practice. They actually, by being, by really sitting well, by really deepening their Samadhi, by really just opening their awareness and, and doing this Bodhisattva practice, caring for all beings, sitting up in the mountains, they really help the world. And I kind of believe that. It's a kind of social action practice, kind of dedication to caring for the world. It may not look like it to people living in Chicago, but I think maybe that's, you know, maybe that helps somehow. But I also think maybe people living in the city, maybe people living in north central

[14:11]

Chicago, doing this Samadhi, sitting, being present, deepening our Samadhi, really caring for all beings, considering all the beings, all the people in revolution, you know, the British people leaving, leaving Europe and now the Scots people wanting to leave Britain and the Irish people wanting to leave Britain and, you know, all this, all this stuff going on everywhere. It's really, it's really interesting times. How can we sit here in our Samadhi and just include them all? That's a social practice. Open our hearts to all the beings. That's one kind of social practice, just sitting in Samadhi, this Samadhi of all beings, this

[15:14]

Samadhi of I don't know what. I don't know what. I don't know what's happening in the world and even in our own lives, of course. I don't know what. We can't fix the world and most of us can't even fix our own problems. Occasionally, you know, we can figure out something and do something that's great. Whatever works, whatever helps, you know, we try things. We try skillful means. We try to respond. So just sitting in Samadhi doesn't mean ignoring the problems. It doesn't mean not responding. This is a responsive practice. How do we help? And maybe just talking about it or listening deeply. Maybe that helps. Prajval was here yesterday doing this dancing practice and he also, certainly I heard him

[16:17]

and he was talking about the different ornaments and how they're related to different paramitas and he talked about earrings as the practice of patience and how in his tradition from Nepal, Bodhisattvas wear big earrings. So I don't know. I've never worn earrings, but maybe I should start. But, you know, that earrings represent patience and listening and really, really this active listening, the ears. He suggested just massaging the ears sometimes as a practice of developing and activating our patience. So the Samadhi is to listen to all the beings. So you know, there's the social practice of deep Samadhi, whether in the mountains or in urban, little urban Zendos.

[17:20]

There's also the Samadhi practice of people on the streets and that's a relevant practice these days too. The Black Lives Matter people marching in the streets, really helping us to be aware of our racism, of the racism in our society, of the problems of black people afraid to walk out on the street. Who knows who the next young black person, unarmed black person will be shot by the police. We should be aware of the police too and the difficulty of their job. You know, a hundred years ago, women were not allowed to vote, only a hundred years

[18:22]

ago. And I'm not sure why that was. Was it that they thought that women were too stupid to vote or that women were, you know, I don't know. Does anyone know why they didn't let women vote? What was it about women that were just, you know, not good enough to vote? Anyway, that's what they thought for a long time in our country until only less than a hundred years ago. And it wasn't that men suddenly said, Oh yeah, we should let women vote. Women are good. You know, we like women. But it took women marching in the streets, women's suffrage people marching in the streets for many, many, many years. And finally men said, okay, we'll let you vote. And we sort of take that for granted now. It's been almost a hundred years. There was some political pundit, I won't say for which party, who was recently suggested

[19:25]

we should take away the women's vote. I don't think that's going to happen, but still their women's health is under attack. So I'll sit for women too. And now we might have a woman president. Wow. That's strange. And people marching for climate, you know, to try and stop climate damage have made a difference. So I'm actually thinking about going in July, that's this month to Philadelphia. There's going to be a, the day before the democratic convention, there's going to be a big climate

[20:30]

march and people of faith are going to be represented. So I don't know if I can figure out the logistics and all, but I'd like to go there. So yeah, there's people sitting in Samadhi in the mountains or in storefront temples for all beings and people marching in the streets for all beings or for various beings. Trying to take care of lessening the damage of climate marches, certainly for all beings, for many beings, before they go extinct. I don't know what. I don't know what to do. I don't know what this Samadhi is, but I know that, or I feel that. Somehow, everything is right here.

[21:30]

Everyone is right here. All beings, all beings are right here. Even all the beings, you know, not just in this world. I've heard that there are many planets where there might be, you know, sentient beings. So I'll include them too. So this isn't just, you know, kind of this, I don't know what, isn't just about some consideration of reality or multiple realities or whatever there is instead of reality.

[22:38]

This is about our caring. We practice this Samadhi of all beings, this Sazen, this uprightness. Of course, you know, this isn't just a self-help practice, but of course we're included. So this Sazen practice, for people who've just come to it, does have transformative function for ourselves. We're part of all beings. It does help us settle. It does help us calm ourselves enough to consider all the beings, including all the beings on our own seat. It does help us develop our patience to listen to all the beings out there and on our own seat. But we also, you know, try and help rather than harming. So it's kind of up to us, you know, even if you think you're voting for the right person.

[24:09]

She's not going to be able to fix everything, you know. No leader can control or know the fullness of what is here right now, all the beings. But this Samadhi of being present for all beings, sitting uprightly, being able to open and respond, I don't know what. And yet, we can be open to I don't know what. We can be upright and responsive and open to the impossibility of knowing, of controlling.

[25:10]

And that that's okay, and we can actually live here. How can we be open to this? Brooks Aporin defines emptiness as ontological ambiguity. It's not just that I don't know. Reality itself doesn't know reality. Whatever that is, I don't know what. You know, but we can look around and see, you know, what we think causes harm and try and respond to that.

[26:19]

We can see, you know, who needs help and who we should try and take care of and try and respond to that. So I encourage you to do this Samadhi of all beings, whether you're sitting in the forest somewhere, you know, camping, fishing, coming up, or sitting in our storefront temple or marching in the streets when there's an occasion for that, to include all beings in this I don't know what. So I can keep babbling, but I don't know what. Does anyone have any comments or questions or responses?

[27:20]

Please feel free. Yes, hi. Yes, there's lots of good things happening. That's right. Yes. Thank you. Yeah. So I sometimes focus on all the problems and I'm sorry about that. I used to work in TV news, so I have this habit. Yes, the country of Colombia ended this long civil war there. So peace breaks out sometimes. Yay, peace. Thank you for mentioning that. There are good things happening and who knows what's good and what's not. Maybe we don't know what the effect of England leaving the European Union is. You know, we don't always know what the effects of things will be.

[28:24]

But thank you for mentioning that. That's good news this week. Appreciate it. Anybody else have some good news? Yes. Oh, okay, Marian. That's okay. You can say whatever. The greatest question of all is the difference between helping and wanting to fix the situation. And I had an experience myself one year ago. I was playing in a trio. And this was also a rehearsal. And the five of us had a really hard time. It's a complicated influence into the world. A really hard time. So I said, well, maybe she could do this. And she got really upset. She said, don't call me she. I have a name. My name is Carol. And she was really upset.

[29:26]

So I went over and apologized. And I got a real deep sight of it because, of course, I wanted to help her. But I realized, I'm basically a problem-solving person. I've got to fix this. Here's a way to fix it. Well, it is a little different from, say, I want to help you. It's a different reality, if you will, between being a problem-solving person and being a person who's reaching out. It seems a little more of a body-solving way to be a helping person. But sometimes fixing is not my job to solve that. Maybe that's good news. Maybe that's bad news. Well, sometimes we try things. And sometimes it doesn't work. But that can be helpful, too, because it was helpful to you. And we don't know. So it's OK to try things. In fact, making mistakes is an essential part of our practice.

[30:30]

We don't know what will help. But we have to listen and try things. And that might have helped with some other person. That might have been exactly the thing. Well, there you go. Yeah. Other comments or stories or responses? Brian. This business of not knowing, not understanding, not being able to control things, one response to that is to try harder. And that even doesn't work very well. Or it can be sometimes. But not with everything. And another response is to be afraid, but not in fear. I'm sorry, I didn't hear. To live in fear. Oh. And then perhaps to try to trust. Well, trusting is tricky because people act sometimes.

[31:41]

But trust in the person here, that I will have understanding, or that I will be able to control it, or it will work out. And there's another kind of trust that is very mysterious. Trust that. But how do you just trust it? Response to not knowing and not being able to control it. I guess that's the question. Well, I'm not sure if I got the question. But say it again. If I don't live in fear, if I want to trust something that I don't know, I'm not going to. And I can't trust that something will take place. What is that other kind of trust? Relaxing into it perhaps. Yeah, allowing and trusting the process. And, yeah, not being afraid of our fear. If you're afraid, just, okay, I'm afraid.

[32:44]

And, you know, there's lots of things to be afraid of. But it's okay to be afraid, trusting that. But it's not trusting some outcome. It's trusting, okay, I'm willing to be present here. Right in the middle of this situation. And keep paying attention. And keep not knowing what. And yet trying to respond. So it's like hope. Hoping that in some result is, you know, maybe delusion. My friend Joanna Macy talks about active hope. And not in the sense of hoping for something. But looking at one's best hopes and acting on that. Acting on the hopes we have. And trying to respond from that. So maybe that trust is trusting ourselves to do our best. And to make mistakes.

[33:46]

And like Miriam's experience of trying to fix something. And getting it and not working. But then becoming friends with the person. So staying with it. This Samadhi is about we keep at it. This everyday Samadhi. This everyday being presence with all beings. However it works out or doesn't work out. Okay. What's next? How do I respond to this? This mistake or that mistake? And I don't know what. We can choose to be present. We can choose to be with all beings.

[34:50]

We can choose to give our best effort. We can choose to pay attention. We can choose to take a rest when we need to. And it means also taking care of ourselves. It doesn't mean going out and trying to fix everything. We have to take care of ourselves too. How do we find our balance? How do we sustain this practice of the Samadhi of all beings? How could you show? Yeah. Yeah.

[35:55]

Build a wall. Keep them out. So are you afraid? Yeah. He's from Sweden. He's a foreigner. Are you feeling fearful about the future of Europe? Okay. It's good to admit it. Yeah. [...]

[37:07]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, action coming from this Samadhi of all beings, this sense of including all beings, this sense of, you know, not hating anyone, you know. That doesn't help. We can see the people who do terrible things, and it doesn't mean we have to support them to do those things, but what's their problem? Where are they coming from? How can we help awaken them? And in most cases, or a lot of cases, it doesn't seem like there's much to be done, but instead of building a wall to keep them out, I mean, really, if we were going to get rid of all foreigners, we should just give Chicago back to the Potawatomi and have all Europeans forced to go back, you know, to Europe,

[38:10]

you know, where they came from. This is a Native American country, and there shouldn't be anybody from Europe here. Anyway, that's one extreme response. But so enlightened action. Yeah. Yeah, just action coming from a kind of samadhi, a kind of settling, a kind of... I don't know what. Not having answers. Not trusting people who have easy answers. Not going along with easy answers. If everybody has a gun, you know, then has easy answers, then, you know, that makes me scared. Yeah.

[39:20]

Yeah, because I think that a lot of the people who have easy answers, it seems, those answers are profiting off them, you know. And... I don't want to mention any names. But it's... But that's a kind of ignorance, too, to think that you can profit off of, you know, promoting guns or promoting climate damage. Like the, you know, the extreme, extreme example of the fossil fuel companies who knew in the 70s what climate damage would do and have been promoting it ever since and covering up the science that shows how serious climate damage is. And yet we've, you know, there have been...

[40:28]

There has been good news. There have been changes that... victories about changing this. So... Yeah, there's no easy answers. Yes, David. Hearing Dr. Tuck and Brian Tuck, Miley and I experienced in a workshop once about one thing to know is another thing to know that you don't know. Well, and I think what happens... Alluding back to what Hakusho was saying, I think there are a lot of people who want to know, and so they act out of fear. Out of their fear, they want to know, and they look for that, quote, simple answer. And the hope... And you do that, you cut yourself off from all the potential answers, because you have this one answer that boxes you in and limits your vision. I think part of our practice is to be open to everything.

[41:33]

Yeah. And to allow, you know, to not know and allow whatever comes up, come up. And also to be flexible, to shift. We may know something, but we might know something else tomorrow. So on that note, we'll close.

[41:50]

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