Good morning everyone. It's an overcast morning here in Berkeley. I can't believe how quickly the summer is going by. So this morning what I would like to do is to give you an update on how I've been thinking about our situation vis-a-vis the pandemic and to put it in a Dharma context and then hopefully to have some discussion. And I think that we're going to need... we ought to have substantial discussion in the next immediate period

[01:05]

to really have an opportunity to find out what people think and what course they want to follow. So, when I think about the pandemic lately, what came to mind were Michael Corleone's words in Godfather 3. He said, Just when I thought I was out, they pulled me back in. So, by late June, I think the whole country really breathed a sigh of relief. So between increasing vaccination and the hopefully approaching herd immunity, many of us had the thought that COVID-19 was playing itself out.

[02:17]

For some short period of time, the mask requirements were relaxed and restaurants and public venues were reopening. And you could feel a kind of energy and joy in the streets again. I certainly felt that as I walked around as Lori and I took walks. We often like to walk down along Jack London Square by the estuary and you could just feel that joy. And at BCC, we were strategizing what we're calling a soft opening of the Zendo. One that was careful, was requiring verified vaccination and was going to

[03:21]

have a strategy for socially distanced sitting in the Zendo. But it seems like that was at hand. Actually, we had decided to do this by August 1st. So, simultaneously, in the course of the spring, this new Delta variant carried a second wave of infection across India. And by July, it had spread to 124 countries. And it was found to be much more infectious than the earlier variants. And even vaccinated people were capable of, were at risk of what they call breakthrough infections.

[04:25]

And they were capable of transmitting the virus without them being, themselves being symptomatic. So, in the U.S. and in the Bay Area, businesses and institutions, including BC, BCC, were rethinking our opening plans. And they continue to do so. Now, I've been following data. It seems that 98% of the new infections are Delta variant. But it's also true that there are other variants coming down the pike. And to the degree that we are not

[05:30]

sufficiently vaccinated, those variants are generated. And they've taken root in places around the world. And the first cases are beginning to show up here in the U.S. What I heard or what I read in the Times this week is that the vaccination rate, and I assume this is what they mean, is the full vaccination rate in the U.S. is at something like 51%. And that herd immunity would call for something like 90%. And I think as you may have gathered in the course of this last week, the CDC is now recommending that those who have been vaccinated with the Pfizer and Moderna

[06:38]

medications, they get, that we get a booster shot after six months. And what they're finding is that the immunization rate is declining from the first wave of vaccinations. It's slowly but steadily declining. And the Delta variant, according to statistics today, is slowly but steadily increasing. So, just emotionally, I find this has been really difficult. And I try to hold this difficulty with some equanimity and some

[07:42]

relaxation in my thoughts and in my thinking. But as I said, we thought that we were seeing a possible easing of our circumstances. And right now, that's not been the case. And I feel for myself, I'm still adjusting to that changed reality, which really puts into, it highlights the mark of impermanence. That irrespective of what we think, something else can happen, something unexpected. So, the question that comes up,

[08:48]

at least in the context of our community, is, what now? What precautions should we be taking at Berkley's End Center as we think about, as we want to think about reopening? I think it's a deeper and more unsettling question, which is, is this the new normal? Will there be a time of relative safety here in the wider society, at least within the near future? And of course, if some version of COVID-19 or some other pandemic agent is the new reality, then what does that mean

[10:00]

for the warm hand, to warm hand Zen practice that we love? And that we have, you know, we've practiced and experienced for years and years. We, it's been the practice since the time of Buddha, when they didn't have Zoom. So, what does this mean? I don't know. So, this gets me to an exploration of not knowing. And it brings us to case 20 in the Book of Serenity, which is Dijon's not knowing. And this can, this can be a guide for us, or can start to be a guide for us.

[11:11]

Although actually, it's always been a guide. So, here's the, the case without all of its other incumbent apparatus, interpretive apparatus. Dijon asked Fayan, where are you going? Fayan said, I'm going around on pilgrimage. Dijon said, what's the purpose of pilgrimage? Fayan said, I don't know. Dijon said, not knowing is most intimate. So, Dijon is articulating a primary principle for us that we recognize in so many of the teachings.

[12:19]

This is Bodhidharma's response to Emperor Wu. When Emperor Wu asked Bodhidharma, who is this standing in front of me? And Bodhidharma said, well, he said, I don't know. Or he said, no knowing. So, those have slightly different meanings to me, but it's still the same principle. This is the same principle as Suzuki Roshi's beginner's mind. In the beginner's mind, the mind that doesn't have everything figured out, there are many possibilities. And in the expert's mind, the person who knows very few. This is the first of the three tenets that Roshi Bernie Glassman articulated.

[13:25]

The three tenets of not knowing, bearing witness, and an appropriate response. And also, just to remember the Korean Zen master, Seongsan, who often said, only don't know. So, this kind of not knowing that Dijon was articulating, articulating, is the not knowing of possibility. It's the not knowing of potentiality. It's a really, it's the vital creative force. For a musician, say, who's improvising,

[14:31]

it's not knowing what the next note or phrase is going to be, and letting one moment lead you to the next. This is a really powerful principle. But it's interesting, because I was looking around, I'm sitting in the abbot's office, which was Sojin's office, and it's full of books. And these books are, these books are, he studied so much and over so long, and these books are full of, full of notes. And one, I looked at his note for the first time, Book of Serenity, for this case, and it pointed me towards Aitken Roshi's commentary on another case in the Gateless Gate that involves Fayan.

[15:37]

And I'm not going to, I'm not going to read that. But there's a follow up to this dialogue, which I think is really interesting for us. So, the whole case, we're, we're going around on pilgrimage. What's the purpose of pilgrimage? I don't know. Not knowing is most intimate. The next day, Fayan prepared to set off again on his pilgrimage. Tisang walked with him, or Tisang walked with him to the gate. And as they passed through the gate, Tisang pointed to a boulder and said, most monks say that the three worlds exist because of the mind,

[16:41]

and all phenomena arise from recognition, or I would say all phenomena arise from simply from our perception of those phenomena. Tell me, does that stone by the gate exist in the mind, or outside the mind? Fayan said, in the mind. Tisang said, that stone will be very heavy for you to carry about in your mind. Aitken Roshi's comment. With this, Fayan realized that he was not as enlightened as he thought. So, he remained with Tisang for further training, and ultimately became his Dharma successor.

[17:43]

So, there's a difference, I think, what Aitken Roshi is pointing out. And this is also found in commentary on case 13, case 19, case 20 in the Book of Serenity. There's a difference between Fayan's I don't know, and Tisang's comment that not knowing is most intimate. To some extent, Fayan's I don't know was an honest response. It certainly was an honest response. He didn't know where he was going. And what Tisang was pointing him towards was, okay, go deeper. Go deeper. There's something really alive in not knowing that

[18:59]

you're really close to, but you haven't quite got it yet. And when you get it, then you realize, then you will realize that it is most intimate. There's another koan that I'll just, again, comment on briefly or bring in, which is in the Gateless Gate. We all know, we've probably heard this the koan where Nansen, Master Nansen says to Joshu, ordinary mind is the way. So after explaining to Joshu, who is a student, that ordinary mind is the way,

[20:08]

Master Nansen responds to Joshu's further questions saying, the way is not a matter of knowing or not knowing. Knowing is delusion. Not knowing is confusion. So even though not knowing anything with absolute certainty is an expression of the truth, and it could be a very honest expression for any of us, not knowing is insufficient. It's not insufficient in the sense that it's not the applicable principle for every circumstance. Sometimes we have to,

[21:15]

sometimes it's really important not to know. But if we go immediately, to not knowing and hold that up as a principle, then as Nansen says, that not knowing leads to confusion. Whereas if we lock down on knowing, then that knowing is delusion. So without knowing the outcome of our speculation or our strategies around around the virus and in its relationship to our community, without knowing that outcome, we still have to make our best guess as to what will serve us, what will serve all sentient beings.

[22:18]

We have to follow a course without being certain that it is the correct course, and we continuously make course corrections. This is in line with Suzuki Roshi's principle, don't get stuck on anything. Don't lock down on a perspective. Don't lock down an idea in an idea. So in the face of the continuing pandemic, we ask, I ask, what now? And I don't know. Another translation of this case that I've mentioned with Dijong and Fayon is,

[23:22]

not knowing is nearest. So this question, what now, is very near to me, and it raises concerns, and it's probably very near to you. It's certainly clear that there are many different responses, and I think that those of us who have been hanging out on the BCC listserv and conversations among sangha members know, can see that there are different perspectives. And layered, underlying, underlying that, those perspectives, for me anyway, is grief. I feel grief at the loss of friends, and family, and teachers, and so many people unknown to me.

[24:33]

I feel real anxiety about how we're going to continue our Zen traditions. I also think, as we've seen, there's something, there's some creative opportunities that have arisen. And of course, while this is going on, I'm stunned by the natural disasters, the earthquakes, the wars, the regime change, the oppressions that are running free in our world. So, I'm trying to keep my mind open to multiple perspectives. In the face of opening, are we being overly cautious?

[25:35]

Are we not cautious enough? We're just right? People raise the question of, are we, are we allowing for personal responsibility? Or do some of the protocols and rules that we've created, policies that we've created, do those undermine that responsibility? I often think also of, how has this pandemic been for people who are living alone? Or people with, who live with others in small homes or apartments? Or people who have to work and care for children, young children? We've been faced with questions, extensive discussions about,

[26:39]

should BCC make a significant investment in, invest in ventilation for the Zendo and for the Pyongyang room? And these questions go on and on. I feel that my responsibility as Abbot includes guarding the well-being of the Dharma and the Sangha. As an individual, I may choose to take certain personal risks, but as I feel that my responsibility to the Sangha sets, calls for a higher bar. And also I'm grateful that so far, our sort of conservative collective caution has meant that it served us well.

[27:41]

You know, even though many of us have had our fill of Zoom, as far as I know, there've been no widespread outbreaks of COVID among BCC members. And I don't know of any direct members who have died or suffered badly from the, from the disease. I don't have all the information. So going forward, we have to live with this tension of not knowing and best guess. And so going forward means practicing great patience, it's the perfection of the Paramita of Shanti.

[28:47]

Such patience we know from Arzazan. It's, it's at the heart of Arzazan as we sit there and we encounter whatever thought or perception arises without pushing it away, without getting caught on it, allowing it to arise and naturally pass away. You know, even in the face of circumstances where we might want to jump out of our skin. You know, after all these months, I think that, that patience is wearing thin for many of us. And I would really ask you to, as I asked myself to double down on it and to really hold it as a principle, not just of,

[29:53]

not a principle of resignation, but actually a principle of our dharma heart. I would love to join Fayyan on pilgrimage, wandering aimlessly. Frankly, I would be grateful to go anywhere. Ah, taste, taste, you know, as Laurie suggests, we have to run an errand. You know, would you go with me to run an errand in Marin? It's like, wow, a great adventure. You know, I'll go, yes, let's go. Anywhere. But I'm also really happy and I'm content to be here. I think I'm content because to be here because you're here.

[31:02]

And I'm content to be here because, you know, even just being in this office surrounded by the relics of my teacher is a very good place to be. So I'd like to, like to ask you to be compassionate to yourself and others. One of the things that I want to do in the next, and we've talked about this at the senior student meeting yesterday, is I'd like to kind of make some suggestions and also hear from you what you're doing to create ritual, small amounts of ritual for ourselves, even when we're not able to

[32:09]

come together. I think that's, that's, there's a possibility for more creativity in our practice, at least until we can return to the forms that we, that we know. So again, be patient and compassionate to yourself and to others. And let your mind travel freely on pilgrimage and honor, honor others who are following their own paths these days and have their own views. Zazen will sustain us. Buddhists and ancestors will support us. They'll support us even when this world is on fire.

[33:12]

So I think that's where I'm going to end and leave it, leave time for questions or comments. And Blake is going to facilitate the digitally raised hands and call on you. And you can raise your hand digitally. You can also put something in the chat. Indeed, Kelsey Cherland, I invite you to unmute yourself and make a statement, ask a question. Hi, Zazen. Hi. Thank you so much for your talk. I have a little group of friends who I meet with and we discuss a theme and we actually talked about not knowing this week. And that is really up for me right now in a lot of ways.

[34:19]

You're going to know something very soon. Maybe. Or I'm going to really not know a lot of things really soon. Well, you're going to know something and you're going to not know a lot because you're an amateur. Totally. So I really appreciate this talk and the way you're holding this. And I think what's kind of coming up for me around our practice is just, this is our practice now. And that there's kind of, I feel like there is a, I want to go back to the old practice. I want to go back to sitting together on the tatami and seeing people face-to-face. But there's also this, yeah, that in this moment, this is our practice. And how do we lean into what this is right now? Like it's changed and this kind of longing for the past or hoping for a future, I feel like it

[35:25]

just causes, it does cause a bit of like emotional pain and suffering. And yeah, I think that's just my comment is that this is our practice now. I think, yeah, that's right. And I think that the part of that practice is actually how we meet what you refer to as your emotion, emotional pain and suffering of basically experiencing at least a sense of loss in this moment. And then there's the open and creative question of not how do we rewind things, but what's the safe and effective way of going forward? I don't think we're going to forget what our bodies have learned in terms of the practice, but

[36:28]

it's not going to be quite the same, but I really want to, I do not want to lose the richness of that. But I also don't want to push it as in an untimely way. I guess I wonder what makes that in-person practice so rich versus the Zoom practice. I don't think you have to answer that, but just, that's kind of a question. I'm wondering, what's the difference? Yeah. I mean, I don't know the full answer, but you could say a limbic resonance. You know, it's just how our bodies change our bodies. How one's body affects another body. That's a powerful reality, I think.

[37:34]

Great. Thank you. Thank you. Deb Self, please unmute yourself and ask a question or make a statement. Good morning, Hasan. Good morning. I have a quick question and a comment that I'm afraid I've made before, but I don't remember. Can you remind me of the citation of the case about, is the stone in the mind or outside the mind? Let me see here. I'm going to listen to the whole lecture again, so I can always write it down when you say it next time. I don't have the case. Let me just see one second. This is case 26. Maybe it's listed here. Well, I know that it's in the commentary. The thing is, I don't know where it's in,

[38:43]

probably in the record, but it's in the commentary for case 26 in Robert Aitken's The Gateless Barrier. Okay, thanks. I have a practice book that I started at the beginning of the year, which is kind of new to me, and it's also become my work book on anti-racism. I just am finding that all of the justice and equity work at my workplace is just really woven with so much of the Dharma talks this year, and including about, as I think about tokenism and othering. Is that a stone? I'm pretty sure it's a stone. I know it's a stone, and it exists. It's just so applicable to trying to not know who anybody else is.

[39:50]

But I wanted to make a comment about this practice, and I think I've said this before. To me, this Zoom-based practice, I feel so much more included into it than I did when we were in the Zendo. Socially, as somebody who has a low threshold for being in close proximity to people or making eye contact or talking, this is so much richer for me. I get to see all your faces. I'm getting to know you better. I'm comfortable. And I'm practicing up and down, practicing marginally a little bit more in this very lay practice, partly because it's a short distance to the Zendo now. So I love the wood. I love the atmosphere. I love the altar. But I'm really happy being just this close to everyone.

[40:54]

Thank you. I mean, I think that that's what I was getting at when I was reflecting that each person has their own path. And not just talking about each person has a strategy for how to open the Zendo, but actually there's a very wide range of perspectives of how the practice that we are doing is working for people. So thank you. I'm glad you're here. Thank you. Right back at you. Andrea Thatch writes in the chat, an additional or different response between Dijon and Fayan after Fayan says, I don't know why I'm going on pilgrimage is, can you say more? Dijon says, the vast blue sky does not keep the white clouds from flying. I've always found this

[41:56]

helpful in losing my, in losing my ideas. And then Andrea also writes, read that whole thing again, please. Sure. Fayan says, I don't know why I'm going on pilgrimage. Then I think the response is, can you say more? Dijon says, the vast blue sky does not keep the white clouds from flying. I've always found this. Great. Yes. And Andrea also writes, with regard to ritualizing, the ritualize the very day that she's quoting, I think, Paula Arai, or and bring brings in home. Yeah, excuse me for stumbling over words. Let me call Heather.

[42:56]

Let me just respond to that. Yes, go ahead. Yeah, that's, um, that was something that came up in the, in the senior, in the senior student meeting. And uh, I do, I really, uh, recommend, uh, if it's in the, it's not in the chat, Paula Arai's book, bringing Zen home. It's, it's about, uh, home practice, lay practice in Japan, mostly led by women. Uh, and yes, I think this is, if we wanted to actually, we could be creative about how to, how to do that. So it's a good, it's something we really need to explore. Heather Serantis, I invite you to unmute yourself.

[43:58]

Morning, everyone. All right. Um, I have two thoughts. One about, you know, I've heard a lot of discussion of, um, wanting to be able to meet in person so we can protect the Dharma. And my knee-jerk response to that was my preferred way to protect, protect the Dharma is to make sure that we don't introduce more risk into the holders of the Dharma at BCC, meaning you and Laurie and the residents and all of that. So to me, that's an act of protecting the Dharma by not increasing your risk. Um, because it would just be the worst to think that I brought the Delta variant into BCC.

[45:03]

I just can't imagine living with that. Um, the other thing I wanted to mention was I've noticed, so I have an 11 year old son who just started middle school and he's not eligible to be vaccinated yet. And I can feel a gap more in the greater world than at BCC between people who have been vaccinated and feel like we're onto a new chapter and those of us who have to act like we're not vaccinated because our kids aren't protected. And I've been thinking about the Bodhisattva vote, or boat, excuse me, of going back and making sure everyone's across the river before we go to the next phase. And I live in a zone where not everyone has even been able to get in line to cross the river yet. And I think that if we're not living around people with higher risk, it's easy to think we're onto the next chapter, but many of us are not onto the next chapter, even though we've taken full advantage of the technology and science available to us today.

[46:08]

Thank you. And that's, you know, that's a potent point. And I will say that, uh, just to remind you that we're going to have a sangha meeting on Sunday evening, the 29th of this month, uh, which is going to provide an opportunity for people to explore their different views and perspectives in a, um, in a harmonious way, in a respectful way. But I want to go back to, to your first point, just briefly, which is, um, I'm not worried about the Dharma. I'm not so worried about protecting the Dharma. Well, uh, I am more concerned about protecting people and letting the Dharma take care of itself. And in fact, letting the Dharma take care of us.

[47:18]

Um, more and more as I get older, that's, that's the perspective that I, uh, that I'm exploring is how is this taking care of, how is this taking care of me? And then reciprocally, of course, how do I respectfully take care of it? Um, which is not, not necessarily by making sure that we're doing all the, the correct rituals. This is actually one of the, one of the interesting elements of intentions in Japanese Buddhism. Uh, going back to the beginning, that, uh, the ritualizing, uh, of Buddhism was about actually, uh, the purpose of it was to support the nation.

[48:21]

You know, not necessarily an individual. Well, so there's a lot of really interesting stuff to explore, but I don't worry about the Dharma, but I do want, but at the same time, I want to honor what has been passed to us by the Sojin Roshi, Suzuki Roshi, and, uh, those ancestors and, uh, uh, keep it alive to the extent that that's possible. Along those lines, Heiko writes in the chat or asks the question, what about chanting together over Zoom each day after Zazen? I think it's a, it's, that's an idea and, uh, it's something we have to investigate. I,

[49:28]

I'm not a big, I'll just say for me personally, I'm not, I'm not a big fan of the chanting together with the kind of chaotic latency issues that you have. You know, it's, it's to me doing that seems a little, it, the idea is better than the reality, but that's for me, you know, and that goes, you know, the whole thing that goes into, uh, that idea goes into the pot of ideas that we talk about. From somebody who often is a chant leader, I want to say how beautiful the evolution has been. On the other hand, um, I invite Barbara, uh, Joan and Jeff to unmute yourselves and ask a question.

[50:32]

Good morning and thank you. One of the, one of the phrases you said, and I think I wrote it down, oh, exploring not knowing really triggered a lot of ideas for me and, and allowed me to think more about what, what the last 18 months, then the opening, and now the, the, the possibility of shutting down again, what that's felt like. And I just wanted to share a little bit. Um, so I'm very, tend to be very social. I talk on the phone a lot and I see people a lot and lots of, I'm a networky kind of social person. And I'm also a writer and that's been hard to find my way

[51:36]

in and into my silence. And first I got laryngitis and then I got COVID. So that kind of shut me up and my friends were really worried partly because they were so unused to my silence. Um, and then when things were so shut down and I was just healing, I had this thought about projects I thought I'd considered doing and I, that I put in the shed till someday. And all of a sudden I realized that this was someday. And that was an incredible gift and, and spoke to my privilege. And I think I've, I've really been confronted with what I do with this privilege that I'm safe. I'm safe from fire and safe from war. I'm safe for the most part as safe as I can be from COVID,

[52:41]

even though I had, um, I'm vaccinated, I have access to it. I can live in my house without going out. I have plenty of food. And so the unknown that I explore is the unknown of, of like inter galactic brain space. Um, and when things opened up, it was rich and wonderful to see people again. And we're part of a song that was read Anderson and, and we were able to go to one open Noah boat sit. And it was beautiful. It was like kind of astonishing to have that limbic, as you said, resonance with people that I don't know mostly personally that well, but that I've been sitting with for a number of years. And at the same time,

[53:42]

I kind of missed the forced isolation. And so that's been an interesting thing to contemplate is how do I ritualize isolation without it necessarily being forced, but also how do I utilize this opportunity to, to confront the unknown directly. And so thank you for offering the question. I think that's, that's, I will continue to meditate on that. Please do. And I think also we have to be, we have to realize that the circumstance that we inhabit is, is tight. It's narrow and tight. And which means that

[54:52]

we have to take more time for ourselves and we may have to lower our expectations of what we accomplish. And I think that's, that's important, which is not to say don't set objectives and goals, but it just like give ourselves space. So thank you for sharing that. Peter Overton, please unmute yourself and do what you do. Good morning, husband. Morning, Peter. I've been exploring, chanting and ritual, you know, in my home space. And like many other people, I'm feeling a little confused about how to show up for the kind of activity. But recently, when I've been doing the rope chant before getting my robe on, I realized that there's a voice in me, which is connected to all of your voices. And it's, I've been asking myself,

[56:00]

where in my body is that, is that, is that accessible? And it just feels like, when I find that, I can invoke your presence, all of you. And it's a tremendous support. So I think there's something interesting that I hadn't really realized was possible was to, to be in a sense in my own house, but joining in presence with all of you as well at the same time. Anyway, just something Thank you. I've enjoyed recently experimenting with. Thank you. Well, great robe of liberation covers all of us, right? Yes. And you know, I think it would be good for us to do the rope chant. And, I mean, I do it, I think we do it individually, but we should probably bring that back

[57:10]

to the start of our programs in the in the morning. Yeah, maybe that would be useful. Yeah, yeah. So, I think there's time for one more, if there's, if there's one more, or we can, we can also end. Not seeing any hands and I've not seen anything in the chat. So thank you all. And oh, there's one more. Okay, Manuel, you have the last word. Or the last question. I just wanted to thank you for what I thought was an excellent talk, weaving together all these principles in our circumstances. And I think what drew me to

[58:21]

BCC in the first place, was everyday Zen. And the sitting is not, or sitting together or any of those things, it's not the object. It's a vehicle. And what I found with practice that was so rewarding to me, and your talk also, you know, the comments that people make are rewarding, because as I confronted difficult circumstances in my life, at that moment, I could stop, not always. And I could create a space and see that, that nothing at this second is happening. But I'm confronted by something that I have to deal with. And so it actually expanded.

[59:25]

The practice expanded into all of my life. And your words today, I like that. So I thank you. Thank you. I mean, I think this is what this is what we learned from Sojourn Roshi. This is what we learned from Suzuki Roshi, very directly, both from their teachings, and also from the teachings of their, how they live their lives, how they move through the world. And yes, our practice, there's an element to the formal practice that is really powerful and necessary. And I think that how it works with us is to just expand our capacity to receive, to accept and to love.

[60:34]

So that's a good place to end. Let's end right there. Thank you.

[60:41]

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